Chapter 12 Chapter Eleven "You Hold Her"

Last week, Zhang Bao bet that I would have sex with a good friend whom I hadn’t seen for many years. I laughed at him for underestimating our friendship. "Why is your head getting lighter? Your body is getting fatter?" She patted me on the shoulder in the hotel lobby, and I turned around like James Bond. She pulled my palm, and her smile immediately warmed my heart. "Let's go to the night market to eat oyster noodle noodles." We walked on Tonghua Street, and she naturally hooked my arm.He looked up and asked me if I was tired from walking, with a concerned look like my sister.She asked me which girl I was dating now, and I said that I was very unlucky recently.Girls in Taipei are not easy to chase, they are willing to make out but not kiss.She asked how the protein girl could blow, and I said that I don't know how to deal with happiness when it comes.She asked why I didn't apologize to her, and I said that the man has done something and has not done it.Isn't the Taiwanese Mandarin she said beautiful?I said I didn't want to be a burden to her.She's a beautiful dress that gets moldy with me.She said you were like a turtle, and it was unlucky for a woman to meet you.One or two small setbacks develop your strange inferiority complex.You keep people away thousands of miles away, and take precautions with politeness.She's already done everything to you, and you still think she's plotting something wrong.She asked if you were gay, and I choked so hard that my eyes turned black.She said that if you choke, there must be some ghosts in your heart, no wonder you wear clothes with a smell all the time.I said people can't sort garbage, don't believe those cliches. She said it's nothing to be ashamed of, old friends for many years, you can come out in front of me.She said how do you live alone, I said I like to listen to Faye Wong in the car.Sometimes when I was a little drunk while driving, I bumped into someone and had to settle the claim obediently.She said that although you have sound limbs, you are disabled in your bones.The house is full of everything, but it is actually a garbage dump.

I asked about your life after marriage, and she said that at least you have someone to accompany you on weekends.Husband doesn't like to make out with her, but likes to suck her thigh.She suspected that her husband had kidney deficiency, or impotence.However, he and the secretary were very ambiguous, and she wanted to ask who it was every time he finished talking on the phone.Once she found scratches on him, and after that she checked his back every night while he was asleep.I said no work don't you feel boring, she said I have a good microwave. You should eat my roasted chicken legs, the golden skin is thin and crispy.Occasionally in the afternoon, I go to mark a meeting. In the flower arrangement class, I am best at roses.I said, don't you want to have your own business, and she said that I will be 41 years old next year, and I will not be able to sleep soundly at night.I have to go to the toilet several times at night, and I want to have another drink when I wake up in the morning.I said that when you were in college, you forced Lao Guodai to retreat, and you vowed to do something in the future.She said she couldn't remember who the girl was, and she felt tired when she thought of her youth.I asked if I wanted to move back to Taipei, but she thought the parking fees here were too expensive.I said your friends are all here, and she said that sooner or later friends will disperse.

When we returned to the hotel after dinner, she asked me to see her room.The bedside electronic clock flashed two o'clock, she checked the voice mailbox but did not leave a message.We sat side by side on the edge of the bed and she asked me to unzip her back.I catch a glimpse of the lace hem of her bra and swallow the saliva welling up in my mouth.She took off her high heels and kicked them under the bed, and I asked if I would pick them up for you.She asked me what time I was staying tonight, and walked into the bathroom without waiting for an answer.She said she needs to wash her face first, would you like to turn on the TV and watch CNN? I could hear that she didn't close the shower curtain, and the water from the shower head was splashing out of the bathtub.I saw the light from the open door, and for some reason it seemed to dazzle me.I turn on CNN and the Nasdaq is down 300 points.I was absent-minded, wondering where she was washing.Suddenly the phone rang, and she ran out wearing a towel to answer it.With his back to me, water dripped from his body onto my leather shoes.She turned around suddenly and gestured that it was her husband calling.Overseas phone calls, just to blame her for not putting the washed socks in the original place.She hung up the phone and patted my shoulder with a wet hand.He laughed and said that you should not use the word stupid to your wife in the future.She walked back to the bathroom and asked me from the bathroom if I wanted to order room service. I knew I should go home, and I might not be able to handle it any longer.But I hang on, hoping for something more.I began to suspect that the rules I had set for myself might really be too strict.

She came out, wearing a white T-shirt. The t-shirt is somewhat see-through and you can see nothing else inside.You sit down on the sofa, the room is completely dark.The central air conditioner is constantly pumping air, and you are a little suffocated.She said that I have a plane tomorrow morning, and you have to take good care of yourself in the future.There are many good girls in Taipei, so don't be too picky.If you want to know if she really loves you, tell her that you have hidden diseases before marriage.The 100 million debt is about to expire, and both black and white will kill you.If she is still willing to marry you, you know that you can live and die together.Speaking of this, she realized her impracticality.You fell to the ground laughing, but you tensed even more.Suddenly you feel alone, as if standing on a cliff.You don't have the courage to jump down, and happiness is so far away.You kiss her forehead and she turns away naturally.You kiss her face and she laughs that you tickle her.You kiss her lips, and she knows you're serious.She pushes you away and you roughly pull her back.She resists so hard that you lose your mind for a split second.

You know you made a big mistake and stand up to put out the fire.You keep saying sorry, you tore her T-shirt.You go to the door and she sits on the edge of the bed.You turn the doorknob and she whispers you are so stupid.You said you were just afraid that you would never have your own home.She said you are a good boy and God has special plans for you.You walked back and hugged her, remembering that you put floor wax on her head.Practice calligraphy together, and she nominates you as a picket.You listen to her learning the pipa, and she comes to your class to play the pipa.You accompany her to the clinic in the circle, and confidently say that I am the father of the child...

You hug her. "Professionalism" Last week I dropped a friend off the plane and I hit rock bottom.Zhang Bao took me to the party, and I felt bad for the female guests. "Why do these parties always have more women than men?" "The ratio of unmarried women to men in Taiwan is 1.5 to 1, don't you know?" "But yesterday there were three times as many girls as boys!" "You're right... this What is the reason..." Zhang Bao fell into the long exam and used his brain for the first time in half a year, "I think it has something to do with professionalism." "What?" "If you think about the parties we attended, there are many careers for women. Female workers, there are switchboards, managers, and doctors. Some work in factories, and some have their own bathrooms in the office. But the background of the men is very simple. They are all middle-level managers of foreign companies, and there are two buttons on the collar of their shirts. You've never met a guy like that at a party like this... like, a guard." "Hmmm..." I mused.

"Women we meet have different occupations, but one thing is very consistent, that is, they are all beautiful. Men have similar backgrounds, but their appearance is uneven. Have you ever thought about why this is?" My The eyes slowly opened, as if a big conspiracy had been revealed. "That's right," Zhang Bao said for me, "The organizer's requirements for women are as long as they are beautiful, because the men who come here don't care about the girls' TOEFL score or whether they can analyze Cisco's stock. On the contrary, girls with ordinary careers, The pressure on them is less. The conversation can only be superficial, and they won’t see through the tricks they used to use. But the organizer’s requirement for men is that the company and title must be covered. The title is an English abbreviation, and no one listens to the job content It’s best to understand. Because the women who come here are very concerned about the social status of men, and you must not make less money than her.” “Oh my God, this is…” “A kind of chauvinism. Men pay attention to their faces and not their brains. Everyone already knows it, so this part is not scary. What is really scary is that women’s chauvinism is more subtle, and you don’t know it when you are discriminated against. They don’t pay attention to appearance, and they seem to have a high level. But they will calculate whether you can rely on it , the basic needs of the car and the house will not be less. Like men, they also want to be proud when they take you out, and let her friends praise her. She is really picky. In this kind of party, men choose women like buying bread, Appearance is the most important thing. When a woman chooses a man, it’s like buying stocks. You must have a subject to speculate on.” “No, I don’t believe it! Why do women do this? Don’t they pay more attention to connotation and sentiment than men?” “Are you I'm talking about women before the age of 30. Women after the age of 30 are very practical, because they have already started to sound the alarm physiologically. The purpose of dating is to get married, and no one has time to waste money with you. If you want to have a midnight stand with her, she They just want to see your pre-marital health checkup report. They want to make sure that your job can feed your family, your children can go to American schools, you have a lot of cash on you at any time, and your Swiss bank account number is well remembered.” “It’s good for you Tell me, I've been thinking about quitting my job and becoming an artist recently, because all the women I know say that a man with talent has a taste." "Don't fall into this trap. Unless you're worth as much as Van Gogh, and even if Vincent Van Gogh was only considered a treasure after his death." "But in movies, a beautiful woman is often married to a poor man, just because he can make her laugh." "Unless you can keep playing treasure every day, you will have new tricks in half a year." " I can only tell two jokes, and women say it’s not too early after hearing it.” “Then you should work hard to cultivate your professionalism.” “What kind of job is most attractive to women?” People who know what they are doing: business management consultants, investment bankers, systems analysts, genetic engineers..." "How do I know those." "Then you keep your job, no, keeping it is not enough, you have to be outstanding professionally You may not make the most money, but you must perform the best. You can fail, but you must persevere. You can be a gambler, as long as you win or lose, you can get cash. You can be a killer, as long as you shoot You can be a gangster, as long as you can't be caught by the police. You can sell plaster in the alley, as long as it can really cure all hidden diseases. No woman will respect a man without professionalism. If you do business , if you fail to reach the sales target every month, she will think you are weak in personality or bad eloquence. If you are a writer, you just sit at home and shake your head every day, she will think youWhat you write must not sell well. "But if I spend a lot of time doing my major well, how can I have time to accompany them?" " "Oh, it's not important.You haven't heard that if a Japanese man comes home immediately after get off work, his wife will feel ashamed instead. "I suddenly had an enlightenment and decided to go to work early tomorrow. I can consider going to night school to learn the latest computer skills. I want to cultivate professionalism and improve my social status.

"LS 2504" Zhang Bao took me to a party last week, and I broke several teacups. "What's wrong with you?" Zhang Bao asked. "I'm still thinking of Vicky." Yes, thinking of her favorite Billie Holiday, dark Saturday afternoon living room, you leaning against a wall, legs stretched, toe to toe listening.I didn't make a sound for three hours, but said a thousand words between my toes.Think nail polish on her toes, a two-hour piece.There is cotton between the toes, and the cotton shows a satisfied expression.She is so absorbed that she doesn't even allow you to stand up and disturb the air around you.Think of her forcing you to eat green cauliflower, forbidding you to dodge when making juice, and threatening you not to have sex if you don’t drink it, you frown and spit it out after taking a sip.I think she will send you a telescope on your birthday, and ask you to look at the lobby of the company on the 17th floor across Minsheng East Road at 3:00 p.m.Thinking of the night you agreed to go to bed for the first time, you worked so hard to get a Viagra.You talk to all your friends and they make a list for you.She had her hair highlighted and her lipstick a very pale shade.You put your hands on her shoulders, her face is as pale as a bowl of soybean milk, you are so nervous that you can't breathe for a while, coughing until your lungs move upwards.You unbutton her pajamas, and there is actually a 3M Post-it inside, with a pornographic joke on it, and you laugh so hard that you fall to the ground.Thinking that when she moved to a new house, there was nothing in the house, the first thing she did was to go to Chengpin to buy recipes, buy ingredients and kitchen utensils according to the instructions above, it took eight hours before and after, just because she insisted on making things for you eat.You can't swallow it in your mouth and say it's the best seafood I've ever had.Imagine she calls you on the plane to New York, the boss is discussing the price-earnings ratio of Cisco stock with you, and she tells you that you are flying through Fiji, where you have been, and you say sorry to the boss, I have to take this phone.I think you are on the small island of Akula in Fiji, each of you is flying into the sky in a parachute, the wind blows you closer and closer, so close that you can kiss her quickly, and then the two umbrellas are entangled, you together Drop into the sea to feed the fish.I remembered that she faxed you a blank piece of paper after she arrived in New York, with "I am in New York without you" written in petty words on the lower right corner.You return a piece of black paper to her in the office, on which you write "Daytime in Taipei without you".After the transmission, you forgot to take back the original manuscript, and the female boss took the paper and walked to your seat, "How long have you known each other?" "Two weeks." "Slow down, boy..." she said.When you think of her running in the gym, you go to find her, get off the MRT at Zhongxiao Dunhua Station, and quickly run up the escalator.When you arrive at the gym, you see her sweaty T-shirt top half back, you can’t bear to interrupt her, so you stand by the dumbbells by the wall and wait for an hour, completely forgetting the original reason for going to her.I remembered that she helped you cut your hair. Because of poor technique, you originally wanted to cut Nicholas Tse’s hairstyle, but finally cut it into Chenggongling’s hairstyle. A month later, you found the hair you cut that day in the crack of the sofa, and she also had a picture of how to cut hair notes.I remembered that when she was sick, you took her mouth temperature, she was lying on the sofa and you sat beside her, and she silently said "I'm so scared" with the thermometer in her mouth.You said let's take the rectal temperature, so you can at least talk to me.Think of her kicking you with high heels when she is angry, pressing the elevator hard when leaving, walking into a taxi and throwing your keys on the ground, and the back in the car is covering her face and crying...

"Do you remember the number of the taxi?" "The number?" "Is it LS 2504?" "LS 2504?" "That was my girlfriend's car many years ago. She would pick me up after work, I saw LS 2504, I feel that the day starts here. After I broke up with her, I stood at the gate of the company building after work, and it took an hour to stop. Every car that passed or stopped, the license plate I saw was LS 2504 ""You will do the same?" "I was not like now," Zhang Bao said. "At that time, I was young, innocent, active, enthusiastic, easy to be surprised, and spoke without irony. I got up early and wrote a diary. , I don’t use a mobile phone, and I’m always anxious after falling in love. I’m eager to believe, empty myself, take risks, and say I love you first when I don’t know what the other person thinks. At that time, I didn’t play games, I felt honest It can shorten the distance between two people. I don’t doubt it. I laugh at myself when things are weird. At that time, I loved her, her father, her younger brother, and her CD. I worked hard to make myself have a better body , personality, taste and financial resources. I am active, send her different things every day, study countless novels and movies, and hope to play tricks in front of her that other men have never played. I always thought that our contradictions were nothing new. Differences It doesn't matter much. In the end we will be together, and the wedding can be held to please my parents. Until she said that she was going to board the plane tomorrow, I asked if I would pick you up when I came back." "What did you do then? ""I went through the LS 2504 period. I was in the hospital for a few days. During the day, I heard the pain from the patient next door, and I started to take sedatives when I went to bed at night. I turned on the ICRT first in the morning, and I was trembling and unable to think about anything else when I took a cold shower. Work overtime every day, try not to stay at home alone at night. Find friends, eat monotonous spaghetti in expensive restaurants. Add a lot of pepper because the taste becomes weak. Drink very little water because I don’t have the strength to pick up the glass When my friends talked about it, I laughed, but my expression was stiff and my voice became very low. I followed the discussion about the movie I was acting in, and I couldn’t remember what happened to the hero and heroine in the end. When the heated discussion among friends suddenly stopped, my head would Suddenly a memory flashed, like a cool wind blowing through the soles of your feet, all previous efforts to forget were in vain..." "And then?" "Then you repeat the same process, after four or five times, you will feel that the weight is getting lighter and lighter .Finally, it may be hard for you to believe now that all this will pass.” “Will it be?” Zhang Bao nodded, looking at him today, thinking of the old self he described, I suddenly felt more uncomfortable for some reason.

"Love in May and September" Last week I was learning how to miss girls, and a girl I met at a party last week knocked on my door suddenly. "I found it!" I said happily to Zhang Bao. "Find what?" "My true love." "Your what?" "My true love, she is older than me, and I feel like I am her child!" "No way," Zhang Bao slapped me, I fell to the ground, "I've seen too many romances between boys and girls, and they all ended up in court or in hell. She is your elementary school tutor and has a mole under her right eye. When all your female classmates are changing their teeth, she She looks like Venus. Her complexion is as transparent as a lychee, and her breasts protrude like buns. Her body smells like fresh juice, and she is as far away as Chiang Kai-shek. When she taught the story of Xia, Shang and Zhou on stage, it actually opened your heart Love history. At noon, you concentrated on watching her eat, and accidentally bit off the chopsticks in your mouth. You love her so much that you don’t eat anything, but your tongue keeps licking the spoon. After a nap, she teaches you to write with a brush, and her snow-white hands are tight Hold your fingers. In the afternoon, she talks about the asexual reproduction of ferns, and you fantasize about being alone in a room with her. For her, you volunteer to be on duty every day, and the notepad is written like a new poem. The big events of the week in the weekly diary, you write What is more, the teacher wears a new dress. Her comments are thank you for your attention and praise you for your delicate thoughts. You take this as a cue and start to attack her violently. You write a poem for her, quoting She taught you how to send a few branches of red bean Sheng Nanguochun. You secretly put it in her office and signed Anonymous on it. By the way, you stole the shoes under her desk and were going to take them home for a try. She saw that it was your name , I want you to accompany her to the lotus pond when class is over. You can’t hold back and say that I will die without you, and I would rather enter the Shaolin Temple if I can’t love you. She laughed and said that you are young enough to be my son. When you grow up, I will be five years old. Ten. At that time, you will fall in love with a young woman, and I will be a stumbling block to your happiness. She pats you on the shoulder and reminds you that you have an exam in the next class. You fall to the ground, and your uniform is wet from your tears." "This Not the same, I was naive at the time." He gave me a glare.

"Okay, I'm nothing more than that now, but at least I'm no longer a child!" "That's no difference, you're still chasing a May-September romance." ""May-September romance"?" "Is your life still alive?" In the summer, she has entered the autumn. Your pimples are still squeezing, and she is approaching menopause," he advised me, "There are so many beautiful girls on the street younger than you, why bother to find an aunt?" "Young girls only like Play games, older women know how to build a relationship." "Building a relationship means staring at you so closely that you will eventually be out of breath." "A young girl eats too much, and she knows how to eat slowly." "She doesn't have to work hard to make money, of course she has more time in the United States." "The young girl has no experience, she knows which posture will go the farthest." "But the young girl has the courage to try, she can only stick to the city." "The taste of the young girl is changeable , but she can love you for decades." "That's because she already has presbyopia and can't see that many men have better conditions than you." "Young girls love to show off, and she loves fate." "That's because she Lost faith and began to pursue metaphysics.” “The young girl desperately sought promotion in a big company, but she opened her own shop unconventional.” “That’s because she lost her fighting spirit and no longer cared about gains and losses.” “Young girls are very showy, but she There is a kind of middle-aged shyness." "That's because she lacks self-confidence and can't bear the blow of rejection." "Young girls have a sweet mouth, but she won't just praise you to the sky." "That's because she is afraid of you Feeling too good about yourself, turn your head and dump her.” “A young girl’s interest in you will decrease every day, but she will find a new side of you every day.” “That’s because she is willing to compromise and tell herself wild Lily also has spring." "A young girl is playing tricks when she falls in love, and she is like farming when she falls in love." "That's because her appearance is no longer easy to be deceived, so she has no choice but to take a pragmatic approach." "Young girl Missing you puts your number in the phone at most, but she misses you and can't sleep all night." "That's because she doesn't feel safe, and she starts to dig into horns as soon as she goes to bed." "A young girl's orgasm is very shallow, but she can Repeat a hundred times." "You don't have personal experience with this, so I'm too lazy to refute your argument." "Young girls are afraid of children, and she already has a son crawling on the ground." "You haven't grown up yet, how can you Be her baby's father?" "Listen," I got up from the ground, "I love her and nothing will change me! She's a bit older, but she's full of lust for life!" "Of course, she's in a wolf Year of the tiger!" "Shut up," I backed off, "you've never even seen her before and you're yelling ghostbusters. I'm tired of you opposing for opposing. For a year, every time I want to go after true love , You always warn me that in the end, everything will go wrong. You operate foreign exchange in the bank, and you never look back when you win big or lose big. Why do you always shrink back when facing your emotions? Why don’t you have the courage to try a little irrational behavior? Why are you always rushing to be a fire brigade?" "Because you have nothing to lose." "Just wait and see..." "She's old enough to be your grandmother, it's going to be a disaster!" I decided to gamble . "Moment of Reality" Last week, Zhang Bao stopped me from pursuing a relationship in May and September, and I fell seriously ill when I was confused. "You should run every morning like me!" Zhang Bao ran to my house early in the morning sweating profusely. "No, I've always been healthy, this time it's just an anomaly." "Morning runs aren't all about health, sometimes halfway through the run, happiness will fall from the sky." "You mean..." "My real moment finally happened.""" "Moment of truth"?" "There comes a moment in everyone's life when you fully reveal your character, worth, destiny, and virtue." "Your moment of truth is..." "The other day I met my I was wearing earphones and listening to MUJI's "Cranky". Memories came to my mind, and I sang along silently. At this time, she ran from the opposite side and looked at me with generous eyes. She took off Take off my earphones and say you look a bit like Guangliang. You are singing "maybe I don't know you are so good and how much I miss you", which happens to be my favorite part of the whole song." What did you say you met yours on your morning run?" "Bride." "You..." "Are you okay on May 20th?" "You want to go to the ballroom?" "I want you to be my best man! "That night Zhang Bao introduced me to her. "You can't marry her!" I warned Zhang Bao afterwards. "Why?" "She's a protein girl!" "A protein girl is the most suitable wife!" "She looks ordinary, has a body like a cutting board, has only a fifth-year college degree, and moves very slowly. She is the opposite of all your past girlfriends!" "When you have true love, love no longer has any threshold." "How do you know you have true love for her? Maybe it's just because you haven't met other girls recently?" "Have you ever thought of someone with a stomachache, kiss Kiss your mouth swollen?" "Wait a minute, you can't get married. You're just temporarily tired, you, you stand up and let me punch you." "It's not temporary. I'm tired of being single After noon, I began to make appointments for evening shows, but I was afraid of being alone after get off work. I used the same trick repeatedly, and the girls felt more and more invincible. After going to bed, we were even stranger than before. I hope the other party doesn't live here tonight. I just treated her as my own just now, and immediately felt that she was just a variety show I watched last night. Sometimes I didn't meet any women, and I suddenly felt very cold standing at the MRT station.I kept checking to see if anyone had left a message, and finally couldn't help lighting a cigarette after quitting for a long time.After walking to the restaurant menu and looking at it for a long time, my feet began to shake unconsciously.When the food arrives, you just want to finish it quickly, feeling like the pair of guests are laughing at your loneliness.You dare not go home after ten o'clock, and want to find Lisa whom you met a few days ago. You dialed the first seven numbers, and suddenly got angry and said why I call her every time? "" This is your personality and has nothing to do with being single. ""Of course, I want to completely change my life.Call your wife after noon, and when she picks up, you don't need to sign up and just say it's me.Ask her carefully how her morning was, whether there were too many boring meetings.She asked if she could pick me up after get off work, and we can have spicy hot pot together at night.You can work at ease all afternoon, instead of taking out the phone book and dialing constantly. "" There is no need to express deliberately when meeting at night, and the tone and gestures do not need to be rehearsed in advance.You don't have to light a cigarette for her after you sit down, and you don't have to pretend to rush to pay when you check out.Let her choose all the dishes, and she will say that you should eat less salt.Walk down the street after eating and hold each other's hands tightly.She asked the hot girl if you thought she was pretty and I said I like your natural health.She said don't you think I'm a bit fat, I immediately talked about the weather tomorrow.When I walked to Sogo, she pulled me in and bought me a suit.She said you need brighter colors and don't dress like a funeral every day.When I got home, she took a shower and I ate the cake she made.She yelled from the bathroom, don't forget our taxes are going to be combined this year.I glanced at the flowers and plants she arranged while eating, thinking that this is the taste of home.After washing, I massaged her feet, carefully tearing off the dead skin on the soles of her feet.Ingrid Bergman was laughing helplessly while "North Africa Spy" was playing on TV.I pressed it and said why your feet are so small, she smiled and fell asleep. ""That's it, no wild sex? "In this way, I slept very peacefully.No more weird dreams, no more waking up in the middle of the night staring at the clock.She will wake up first the next day.She was wearing my boxer briefs and her feet were bare.I lay on the bed and watched her brush her teeth, and listened to her blowing her hair for half an hour.She asked me to get up and help her find stockings and fasten her red Wonderbra. Before leaving, she cursed because she couldn't find the key, and I said you don't need the key and I will always be home. ""Is this the life you want?You remind me of my mother. ""The best thing about being married is the weekend when you wake up with someone at your bedside.She frowned when she slept, as if trying to memorize a poem in her dream.You take the MRT to eat brunch, buy a stored value card and get back a bunch of coins.She leans on your body and doesn't care about other people's eyes.In the afternoon, we went to visit Yuanqi together, and the two held hands and squeezed through the crowd.She wants you to help her buy ine, and you say that the money should be saved to pay the interest on the loan.She went to the elevator and got angry with you, and you said why you are so unreasonable. You have a cold war all afternoon, and she doesn't eat at night.You start to speak sarcasticly, saying that you didn't expect you to be so materialistic.Before you got married, you always wore ready-made clothes, and you kept saying that reading was your greatest interest.She fought back mercilessly, saying why didn't you talk about the Armani you bought. Before marriage, you said you wanted to pick the stars in the sky for me, but now you have to pay 50% off before considering it. ""That's right," I said immediately, "marriage is a series of meaningless quarrels in the end, why do you jump into the fire pit?" ""You don't understand, there is love in an argument, and you are mad because you care about this person.She forbade me to go back to my room to sleep, and I slowly fell asleep on the sofa.In the middle of the night she came out to hold my head up, and I woke up to see her familiar smile.We undressed each other on the couch, and sex was often better after fights. "No reason, I started resorting to bad habits. "If you go to get married, you will no longer have the right to meet beautiful women." "I ask you," Zhang Bao approached, "Why are you so opposed to my marriage, completely irrational?" "I..." "You have always been conservative Pure love, why did you suddenly become unrestrained?" "I..." "Why?" "What's next?" Zhang Bao asked me last week why I stopped him from getting married, and I began to ask myself. "You are my good friend, you should wish me a good home." Zhang Bao said. I said: "You are my only friend, I will be very lonely after you get married." I thought back to the past year, Zhang Bao was by my side every day.He taught me how to court girls and how to be a sexier man.He classified and commented on the women in Taipei, and I seemed to know them all.Some girls are real, some are pure, some are cold, and some are stupid.Some are like revolving doors, some are like marquees, some are like cornucopias, and some are like mine pits.Some can elope, some dare to love and hate, some are like PCBs, and some are worth spending the rest of their lives together.Zhang Bao led me into the charge and gave me the opportunity to attack and score.He gave me the spirit of Ah Q and thickened my skin a few inches.Without Zhang Bao, I can only wait by the phone.Without Zhang Bao, I can only blame others. Zhang Bao shook his head and smiled, "That's all I can teach you. I announce that you are graduating today. Now you have to choose a pair of shoes that fit your feet and walk into this world generously. Love is sometimes like Christmas Eve, sometimes like Easter, Sometimes it's like Huaxi Street, sometimes it's like the Great Wilderness. Sometimes it's like hunting, you just try to prove your superiority. Sometimes it's like potstickers, the way to cook it has to be from the outside in. Sometimes it's like a cave, you hide in to escape the world. Sometimes Like bleeding, it takes a little time to stop. Sometimes it's like school, you don't like it but get used to your classmates. Sometimes it's like snow, completely obscuring your view. Sometimes it's like a latte, it's an expression of culture and taste. Sometimes it's like Confetti, thrown on the street after use. Sometimes there is no solution, the person you love is your sister. Sometimes you are a bitch, married a wife and want to take a concubine. Sometimes like NATO, your combination is only against one The threat of non-existence. Sometimes like the UN Security Council, major differences can never be fully resolved. Whatever it is, you have to experience it yourself. You can’t stand next to me forever, admiring or criticizing my performance.” Zhang Bao decided to get married, and I In the end, I can only bless them.The wedding is set for May 20, and the honeymoon will be on a warm summer day.I agreed to be his best man and take care of the wedding for him.The hardest of these was inviting to the wedding a woman he had known for a year.I called the high maintenance woman and she sounded as cold as if someone had just passed away.I called the protein girl and she was as happy as if she just ate an apple pie.Anna Sui said that she no longer takes RU486 and will go to NYU this fall. The cold in Miami said that she does not regret falling in love with her boss and firmly believes that true love transcends all worldly norms. Of course, I also found the CSR that Zhang Bao helped me track down. I still believe that Bell invented the telephone for her voice.The strong woman left the investment company to start a business on the Internet, and was about to go public, but the company still didn't make money.The bad girl applied for MBA in Stanford, and asked me frequently whether the cost of living in San Francisco is expensive.After all, Sally isn't Lesbian, she just happens to like short hair and KDLang (American lesbian singer). Although I was extremely reluctant, I also found a laser head.He is still handsome and handsome, and it is said that he is the father of Judy Foster's son.I also found Mr. 90 Degree Pants, he and Vicky just got married in Las Vegas.I can't for the life of me hear that he dressed as Elvis at his wedding.I had long talks with 90 degrees, from Graceland to Alan Greenspan. "Who is your favorite economist?" he asked me. I looked at Vicky, who smiled and blinked. "It happened to be Greenspan," I said.Ah, Cairns, keep it forever a secret from Vicky and me. Witnesses give me a lot of nerves.I originally wanted to find a big shot, but I was afraid that when they finished speaking, the audience would already start snoring.Finally, I found Zhang Bao's boss. He is a foreigner, so the speech will be very short. On the night of the 19th, I held a farewell bachelor party for Zhang Bao.We went to a lounge and each lady was prettier than the last.Zhang Bao's favorite is Linda. She sits on Zhang Bao's body as soft as cotton candy.She became a magnetic field by herself, and Zhang Bao stuck to her side all night.I watched nervously from the sidelines, swallowing more and more reluctantly.Zhang Bao laughed wildly, as if the world would perish tomorrow. Zhang Bao didn't get up until noon the next day, and he was still shaking a little while washing his face.I patted his suit and prepared to drive to the bride.Then I found Linda's business card in his suit pocket. "What are you doing with this?" "I..." he stammered, "I put it in the wrong place." He snatched back his business card and got a little flustered when he got into the car. At 5 o'clock in the evening, the parents of both parties went to the final inspection venue, and I stayed with the new couple in the new house.The protein girl is doing the finishing touches, I never thought she could be so shiny.Zhang Bao hid in the kitchen alone, and the food from last night hadn't been vomited yet.The doorbell rang and I opened it... It turned out to be Linda! "What are you doing here?" "Zhang Bao asked me." At this moment, Zhang Bao ran over, and the sweat on his face had already melted the makeup. "Come with me..." He led Linda into the stairwell. I followed, and the door to the stairwell was locked.我用力敲了10分钟，门才慢慢打开。 张宝倒在我身上，领带已经松绑，脖子上血脉贲张，脸摸起来很烫。我们站在饭店20楼的走廊，却感觉踏在一朵云上。 “我不能结婚！”他抓住我的衣领。 “什么？”他一直喘气，好像刚跑完百米。 “我不能结婚，我发现我还是会爱上别人……”“Linda？”他点头，我刷他一巴掌。 “你这个王八！”“随你要杀要剐，但我必须说真话。”“听着，那不是爱，”我抓住他的头发，“爱你的人在新房，Linda喜欢你只是因为昨晚我们小费给得很大方。”“不，Linda是爱我的！”他推开我，喝醉酒一般摇晃，“我，我要走了，剩下的事你来挡……”“等一等——”我抓住他西装的尾巴，他被我拉倒在地上。我抓起他，把他拖到墙上，“你今天一定得结婚！”“不！”“记不记得你上礼拜跟我说，你已经厌倦了单身生活，没有力气再对抗寂寞？”“有了Linda我不会寂寞。”“记不记得你说，你希望每天醒来有一个人睡在旁边，她的笑容圆满得可以用来发电。”“那是我为了要结婚而自圆其说。其实每天醒来我最渴望的是ICRT的广播，听到昨晚NASDAQ指数又被打破。”“不，”我大吼，“你不是一个这么物质的人！”“不，我是！”他吼回来，我吓得退后三步，“我希望我不是，希望自己能欣赏女人的气质，对艺术不是这么无知，能勇敢地讲自己的心事，看到落叶能写一首诗。我试着要那样，但我做不到，”他站起来，拍掉身上的灰尘，“不要自欺欺人，你和我一样，只是你压抑得比较好。”我坐到地上，想起一年来我们遇到过的女人。认识她们像参加猜谜游戏，我是天才儿童但得分很低。她们是深海我想探底，最后却惨遭溺毙。也许张宝是对的，追求心灵最后会身心俱疲，重视物质可以让这一切比较容易。 我惊醒过来，张宝不见了。 我冲到新房，只看见新娘困惑的眼光。我跑到典礼会场，50桌的客人已开始抬头仰望。 “各位先吃瓜子！”我冲到lobby.“他开礼车跑走了！”服务生说。 我跳进计程车追去。张宝开得很快，礼车上飘扬的红丝带好像在说“有种你过来”。我可以看到张宝的后脑，笃定得像一尊石雕。我把头伸出窗外对前面大叫，差点摔到路上的安全岛。他开过餐厅、舞厅、pub、KTV、我们的小学、中学、大学，他猛按喇叭，好像是在对这个城市说一个笑话。就在他大鸣大放时，他的车撞到前面一辆跑车。 一名女子从跑车上下来，身材和脸蛋都比跑车还要精彩。她大骂张宝，三字经刺耳得像一把刀。如此美丽的女子用这样的语言，你真的觉得上帝在和你开玩笑。 我走上前，张宝也走出来。我们三个人站在路中间，一切又回到原点。 “接下来呢？”女子问。 我们对望。 (full text)