Chapter 5 Chapter 4 "The Squeeze of the Old"

Last week I found out that I was Taiwan Mandarin's rebounding lover, and at the same time Zhang Bao fell into another emotional pit. "I met my "old squeeze"." Zhang Bao said. "Did you eat roast duck last night?" "Squeeze" is a lover's nickname. I met an old lover, and she just didn't bring her husband. I asked her how she was, and she cried and said that her husband had another woman." I can understand Zhang Bao's mood.She is your first love, the first girl in school to look at you.One day you were rushing to take the elevator, and she stretched out her hand from the elevator to block the door for you.In class, the teacher is explaining the Greek gods, and she gestures to ask you to wait at the welfare agency after class.You sat on the steps and waited till you fainted from hunger, and she came over and bought two bentos.You eat every grain in three minutes, and she splits her ribs in half with you.You ride a bicycle to send her back to the girls' dormitory, she hugs your waist and you are so scared that you bump into a passerby.She turned around suddenly at the door of the dormitory, and gave you the first kiss in your life in the light rain.You call her as soon as you get home, and she stands by the pay phone in the dormitory and chats with you until early in the morning.After graduation, she went to Madison, Wisconsin, and you were drawn to Jinmen, Fujian.You wrote a letter every day for two years, and she always said at the end that I will always wait.You retired from the army and she returned to China as a business management consultant, and met a better man in the company.She is always racing against time when answering your call, and she always seems sleepy when you see her occasionally.Once you saw her boyfriend being interviewed on TV, tall and handsome speaking very sincerely.A year later, she said that she is about to get engaged, we have no chance but I wish you a bright future.They invited celebrities to their wedding certificates, and they talked about gifted scholars and beautiful ladies 10 times in 5 minutes.At that moment, you returned to the Coconut Grove Avenue where you once walked with her, and suddenly fell down and rolled on the grass in pain.After returning home, I found that I was bitten all over by mosquitoes. I had a high fever and got measles the next day.

Filled with righteous indignation, I said, "She treated you like this back then, and now is the perfect time for you to take revenge." "Revenge? In fact, last night we..." "You..." "Revisiting old dreams." "Why are you so No ambition?" Zhang Bao pushed me, "She dumped you back then without giving any reason. At the banquet of Lightning's wedding, she even posted a post asking you to give her a gift. Now that she comes back to look for you, she shed a tear or two. Take off your handkerchief Give it to her, and then the pants fell to the ground." "The basis of our intimacy last night was not sex, but love." "Love you ass! You haven't seen each other for 15 years, and the deadline for love has long since passed. If you really want to talk about love, Anna Sui is worthy of your reflection. A few weeks ago you vowed to travel to Tibet with her, why is she now the target of your uneasy conscience? She broke her body by eating RU486 for you, and the way you repay her is to let Do other women ride you like a horse?" "Anna Sui is 20 years old, being intimate with her is like traveling to the moon, there is no gravity in the bed, and it is difficult to breathe from the beginning to the end. I feel sorry for everyone when I am so happy. I used to Squeeze 35 years old, being intimate with her is like sweeping the floor at home, you will not rush to complete the mission, and you have no interest in doing it thoroughly. It is routine, and you can't wait to find someone to replace it. If it is only for sex, I would certainly rather be with Anna Sui. Together." "So it's for love..." "Or a shared memory. It's a kind of sympathy that belongs to the 1950s. When you turn on the media, it's all about cross-strait relations; when you switch channels, the only other choice is Jolin Tsai You suddenly find that the world is being ruled by people in the 30s and people in the 70s. You are 35 years old. Although you are in your prime, you are not yet the backbone of society. You are an assistant vice president, but you have no power to make decisions. You and 70 The blind date in the 1980s, I couldn’t find a common topic after talking for a long time. You can only understand half a sentence of their favorite song, and you are the only one who has heard "Little Rain in March" when you go to KTV. I met the squeeze of the old days last night, I have the surprise of meeting an old acquaintance in a foreign country. I don’t have to pretend to know who the Kinki kid is, but she will take the initiative to mention "Ami Ami." "I completely understand your mood," I comforted him, "I understand that you are not high or low You don't want to be naive and romantic like a 18-year-old who hates a 50-year-old crook. You are looking for a 35-year-old married woman who has grown up, but is not completely out of shape. Sex has become commonplace, But didn't feel the meaning of orgasm. You spent a night together, tearing the sheets in excitement. A lifetime of emotions owed, paid back with interest. You saw falling petals, and a submerged sailboat. She saw A bullet pierced her body. After it was over, it was like putting out a fire. You inspected the wreckage of her heart. The next day she continued to go back to be Mrs. Lin. You told your girlfriend that the boss came from the United States last night. Next time someone When you talk about Jolin Tsai, you will no longer feel alienated. Because the one from the 1950s is still there, she has been as fascinated by my Dada's horseshoe as you are." "Thank you for understanding." In Zhang Bao's grateful expression, I saw him And Anna Sui's ending.

"CSR" Zhang Bao encountered the old squeeze last week, and I struggled to be the rebounding lover of Taiwanese Mandarin.When I didn't know what to do, I met CSR. "CSR?" Zhang Bao asked. "Customer Service Rep, customer service representative. I received a credit card statement a few days ago, and the same account was double-counted. I was so angry that I called the 080 number, and without saying a word, I cursed the CSR who answered the phone. Not only was she not angry, She also patiently explained to me the reason for the error. Then she noticed that the two payments were in Eslite, and asked me what books I bought that day. Her voice was like a tranquilizer, and I was so relaxed that I farted uncontrollably. Her The explanation is very reasonable, I feel like I am in a cram school." "Don't tell me you are in love with her!" "After ten minutes of talking, I became interested in her personally. I asked her if she liked to listen to Xu Ruyun's "True Love Invincible", she said that she prefers Adam Sandler's "Big Daddy". I said that listening to your voice should be unearthly, and she said that she is the queen of gossip and likes to eat spicy hot pot. At that moment..."" You're in love with her..." "Because she's fun, and her happiness completely disarms me. I've met a lot of nice women these past few months, and they can smile really well when they need to. But deep down they use sadness as their job Zhi, it seems that a little happiness is not enough to live honestly. The protein girl is well-behaved, and she suppressed her emotions and desires since she was a child. Taiwanese Mandarin once met the lover of her dreams, and she still appears when she wakes up from the dream. CSR is cheerful and happy, with no trauma in the past, and who does not want to live It makes sense. You don’t care if your boss monitors you when you chat with me, and you don’t worry that I’m crazy if you give me your phone number.” “She gave you her home phone number?” “So I chatted with her for another two hours that night, and I found out that I fell in love with her. "Is her voice nice?" Zhang Bao asked.

"Of course, the voice is the main tool with which she works." "Then you don't love her!" "I don't?" "You love her voice. It's easy to explain, you're with Taiwan Mandarin now, she's everything Perfect, but the voice is bad. You seek compensation, so you fall in love with CSR. Think about it, how can you fall in love with her if you haven't even met her?" "You haven't seen "Electric Love Letter" or "Seattle Night" Sleepless"? Who said that love must be based on meeting? You spend all day in skin-to-skin contact with women, and turn over after finishing your work. When she asks the date of marriage, you say you have to get up early tomorrow. This is another What kind of love is that?" "What do you think couples do when they come home from a midnight show of Sleepless in Seattle holding hands? Call-in? If any couples watch those movies and don't take a break, I guarantee you they're not Call Guangyu, but you are experimenting with Newton's laws of motion." "You are indulged in carnal desires and have no spirituality." "Spirituality? I passed by the vegetable market yesterday, and spirituality is buying one and getting one free. Hu Yinmeng is spiritual enough, right? She said in the book that she would give her hymen to her boyfriend as a birthday gift." "Why don't you say Lin Juemin, not Yiying Qingqing?" There are not so many hotels where you can rest. In Lin Juemin’s era, there was a corrupt Qing government, and the common ideal of young people was to save the country and the people. In 2000, the only thing we had in common was our interest in gossip, and the importance of the country was not as important as WAP mobile phones.” “You Why are you so cynical?" "You're not cynical, so let me ask you, are you planning to never meet CSR?" "I'm not an idiot, of course I will meet her in the end, but I cherish this feeling of sympathy now. ""Okay, you two have the same heart, suppose you find her ugly after meeting, would you still love her?" "She told me she used to be a stewardess." "She—, okay, if she wasn't before, would you still love her?" Do you love her?" "This question is not valid at all, what's the point of asking?" "Do you first know that she is a stewardess, or do you first feel that you have a "heart-to-heart" with her?" "You are like asking whether I should grow a beard first, or should I grow a beard first?" I feel that I have entered adolescence first, one is concrete and one is abstract, how do I compare it?" Zhang Bao stopped pressing, he stared at me, and then sneered, "You just love her voice, her mystery, her distance, and the possibility she symbolizes. You have a problem with Taiwan Mandarin, and CSR provides you with a quick escape. You love CSR because it is easier to get along with her. You make several phone calls every day, and it is too late to find each other's ugliness. Your love can only stay on the phone Come on, once you meet, she'll know your jokes are cheap, and you'll find her menstruating unreasonable." "Shut up!" I yelled, "Why do you think everything is going to be disillusioned? Why do you think we can't stand Each other's shortcomings? For love, I am at least willing to let go, you will only indulge in your neuroticism forever." We finally got to the point, Zhang Bao lowered his head, as if looking for money that fell on the ground.How I wished that CSR was right in front of me at this moment, just to let Zhang Bao understand: Falling in love with a voice is indeed dangerous, but this is how new continents are usually discovered.

“Cold in Miami” When I met CSR last week, Zhang Bao was still thinking about the old squeeze.It's Zhang Bao's birthday on Thursday, and I went to the office to find him after get off work. "Someone sent me flowers this morning!" He pointed to the flowers, and I picked up the card on it, which was signed: "Colleague who has always had a crush on you: Chill in Miami." "Cold in Miami"?" I asked. "I don't know what it is, but she turned out to be my colleague!" I turned my head and looked around Zhang Bao's colleagues, and no one covered their faces shyly.Although I have never met this woman, I can understand how she worked so hard to manage this evil relationship.You work in a conservative bank, wear a uniform and clock in, and you are too busy to eat dinner every day.You don't like or hate your job, and you show up on time just for that fixed amount of money.In a hurry in the morning, you can only eat sandwiches in front of the computer, and sleep on your stomach every time you wake up, but you don’t know it.Just as you start noticing job postings in the Sunday paper, your department brings back a boss from the US.He was born and raised in Taiwan, but he is an MBA in the United States. He likes to mix English with his speech to encourage his subordinates to call him Alex. He is always busy in and out and has no time to pay attention to you.He greets you generously in the corridor, with a sincere expression as if he really cares.You want to eat him but lower your head shyly, chances are you can only say "I heard that the typhoon is coming again".At the meeting, he deliberately asked your opinion by name, and you rushed to the bathroom in a panic.On the day before the settlement day, you work overtime until eleven o'clock, and finally leave together and wait for him to set up security.He turned off all the lights, and you tried to touch his face in the dark, but he asked you in disappointment if you wanted to pee before you left.Standing together in the elevator, your head only reaches his shoulders, but you can feel that he is looking at your face intently.Suddenly he asked if he wanted me to take you back, but you thanked the Bodhisattva for his manifestation, but said he was sorry to bother you.He asked again if he wanted to have a midnight snack together, and you were about to turn around and hug him when you suddenly felt anemic.He asked if you were not feeling well, and if you thought you could die in his arms, you would have no hesitation.When he sees that you don't answer, he directly asks why you have prejudice against him. How do you explain that loving him to the bone and indifference is just your performance.He joked that you have been so cold since you were a kid, and you want to tell him that you are as hot as Miami at heart.He stood discouraged and stood on the other side of the elevator, and pressed the button on the first floor again, as if to make the elevator go faster.You want to say please give me more time, hoping that the whole country will be blacked out at this time.He took out his mobile phone to check if he had left a message, and you wondered in your heart whether it would be embarrassing if he rejected it.You finally mustered up the courage to express your love, and at this time the elevator lights also turned on 1. The elevator door opened quickly, and a stunning beauty stood outside.He shouted hi Julie, the beauty took off her sunglasses and smiled like Gigi Leung.They hug each other in the middle of the hall, and you escape through the security door and hide in the underground parking lot crying.The next day you send him a pot of flowers, signed Miami Cold.He reads the card and closes the office door, and a minute later you receive his Email saying thank you for your love for me.

"Are you saying that the girl who sent me flowers was a girl who was cold on the outside and hot on the inside?" "That's right," I said, "Who is this kind of person among your colleagues?" So many contradictions." "Is there any girl who came up with her first choice all the way, and the last time she dated a man was to watch "Gone with the Wind"?" "No, there are people who tell the man who proposes marriage on the spot to go away, but complain about him half a year later. Married another woman." "Is there anyone who doesn't touch the lips on the birthday cake, but keeps gnawing on the chicken bones when he goes to the fried chicken shop?" "No, some people openly criticize the little girl who stole the poster of Takeshi Kaneshiro for being stupid. At home, I watched "The City That Never Sleeps" 50 times." "Is there anyone who shouts about gender equality all day long, but always pees when the bill comes for the candlelight dinner?" "No, but someone always waits for a man to replace her when she gets in the car." Open the door, but you have to control every kiss when you are making out." "Is there anyone who counts every second in front of the boss, and when the boss goes abroad, she will take advantage of it?" "No, there are some people who show the immaturity of a little girl during the day, but at night they turn into a little girl. Madame Bovary." I announced: "These duplicity people may be the cold of Miami!" Zhang Bao decided to spend a few days observing several suspicious candidates.Coming home at night and having trouble sleeping, I typed "chill in Miami" on an internet search engine...  

"I found it!" The next day after get off work, I went to Zhang Bao, ""Miami Cold" is a series of cosmetics launched by Maybelline in the United States in the spring of 1997. The colors are bold green, yellow, and pink. Your company has Does anyone wear green eye shadow and yellow lipstick?" "We are a financial institution, not Wanhualou." "Think hard, is there anyone who looks hot?" "The hottest girl in our company is the receptionist, but just Even she is afraid to wear open-toed shoes." "That's weird...Let me call CSR and ask her where I can buy Miami cold in Taipei." "Use my secretary's phone, dial 9 first." I was sitting in Secretary Zhang Bao's seat. The desk was clean, and there was not even a pen to write down the phone. I opened the drawer inadvertently...

Inside was a box of "Chill in Miami" foundation. "Office Romance" Last week Zhang Bao found out that his secretary had a crush on him, and the next day his secretary asked for sick leave. "In the past three years, she has never asked for leave, and I am used to relying on her for everything," Zhang Bao complained to me after get off work. "She suddenly didn't come today, and I don't even know how to turn on the computer. Without her to help me filter calls , a bunch of salesmen called me asking for a credit card. She's like a mom, you take her for granted. Her kindness to you is so small that you never know. She cares if you're full and you say please Don't nag. Aunt Chen's daughter wants to introduce you, please don't force her into marriage, okay? One day she is gone, and you will know how important she is. She was so good to you, and you are selfish. No." Of course I knew he wasn't talking about Zhang's mother.

"I actually love her!" Zhang Baozhao announced, slamming the computer down with a big hand, "I stumbled and stumbled in the human meat market outside, but I didn't expect true love to be right next to me. Watching midnight shows with other women, I will only calculate after watching." How to trick them into bed. Halfway through the show, I deliberately misplaced my hands to see if they would slap me. I don’t have to be so busy with the secretary, she makes me not nervous at all. Even just sitting and talking about the newly established Sanjia Fixed network, I can feel good all over. Her feelings don't need to be weighed, and the value of love is the same before and after bed." "Sounds great, but you can't love her!" "Why?" "Office romance It usually ends in tragedy!" I thought of my own painful experience.At first, it was just a pure lunch, with a buffet next to the office.You pretended to like Xu Ruyun as much as she did, but when it came to the NBA, she barely opened her eyes.After drinking the soup, you made sure not to call, and walked back to the office, the two of you were separated by five steps.Back in the building, you barely know each other, and when you walk into the elevator, she politely asks you to press 10 for her. On Friday, you were given a K by the boss, and you worked overtime to turn off the lights in the building.Your car won't start in the parking lot, and the phone at the garage won't work.All of a sudden she knocks on your car window and asks if you want to help.Maybe the lights in the parking lot were not bright enough, but she looked like Xiao Qiang.You get into her car and immediately lose all principles.When you and she got home, you were so anxious that you didn't even take off your leather shoes.In the living room, she calls you daddy excitedly, you are afraid of dirtying her leather sofa.You wake up first the next morning and forget your belt in your haste to flee.On Sunday, she called to ask you out, and you asked your brother to lie to her that you were not there.On Monday you still dare not face it, call and ask for a fake twist of your spine.You went to Thailand to hide for a week, but you still can't remember why you unbuttoned her.You plan to resign after returning to the company, and the two pass by in the corridor pretending not to know each other.You call her to apologize, and she says she's busy eating breakfast.You e-mailed her to say sorry, and she forwarded your message to the whole company. The boss asked you if you sexually harassed her, and you argued that you never touched a single hair of her.During the confrontation, she took out the belt you left at her house, and you cried like a child helplessly.The boss didn't fire you for your first offense, but your responsibility has been reduced to typing and delivering things.Every morning when you walk into the company with your head down, your colleagues whisper to each other that this is the pedant who started in chaos and ended up abandoning him!

"You deserve it!" Zhang Bao said, "You are ruthless and ungrateful. When you have a relationship, you say you love you. When you need to be responsible, you say you are not in a hurry. I am not like you. Miami and I will become a revolutionary couple. We will be in the office every day. Cohabitation. We have a common goal in life, which is to reduce the company’s over-release ratio. We have countless topics to talk about, and we have a candlelight dinner with justifiable public accounts.” “The price of a revolutionary couple is to talk about business affairs after returning home , working 24 hours a day. The kiss was reaching a climax, and she suddenly said, do you want to check tomorrow's report. The decision-making is not correct, and the other party has the heart to correct them. I haven’t had sex for a long time. That’s why in big companies, husband and wife can’t be in the same department!” Zhang Bao pushed the documents on his desk to the floor and shouted frantically, “Why are there so many rules in society? There are so many restricted areas in love? No Love your coworker, not your teacher, not your cousin, not David. Not if she is older than you, not if she is dumber than you. Not if she comes from a better family than you, not if she is taller Taller than you. Can’t love if she earns more than you, can’t love if she doesn’t have a hymen. Can’t love if she’s your friend’s wife, can’t love if she’s ever had an abortion!” “What would middle-class society be without these rules Establish?" "F—middle class!" "F—middle class? The middle class is the only way out for people with simple limbs and strong minds like us. If you and I lived in the Amazon jungle, we would be arrested in less than two days. Go feed the mice." "But I love her..." He said in such despair, as if lying on a deathbed.I patted him, not knowing what to say.