Chapter 4 Chapter 3 "Romance Killer"

Last week, I saw a volcano beauty in the ballroom, and despite Zhang Bao's advice, I went up to strike up a conversation with her.Ten minutes later, I came back to Zhang Bao, and he gloated and said, "I'm not telling you that such a woman only has eyes for Takeshi Kaneshiro or Wang Yongqing. With your appearance and financial resources, you are not even worthy of being her taxi driver." "She Her name is Tracy." "Did she tell you her name?" "I also know that she is at Citigroup, and the company's phone number is 23836341. She is a financial manager and graduated from the Department of Foreign Languages ​​at National Taiwan University. She has a master's degree in Wisconsin and is well-known among international students. The delicate woman——""Delicate woman?" "Many men pretend to borrow MSG from her house in order to chase her. She is kind and warm, and she takes the initiative to ask boys to chat and eat. She is considerate and considerate, and gives her colleagues homemade rice cakes during the New Year." "Etc. Wait a minute, are you saying that under the devil's body, she is actually a protein girl?" "It's not just protein, she is simply Ganoderma lucidum!" Zhang Bao began to pant, and I broke out in a cold sweat.For years, we have struggled with a polarized worldview: beautiful women are not smart, smart women are not beautiful, beautiful and smart women are not kind, beautiful smart and kind women have unique sexuality, beautiful smart and kind heterosexual women Lord of the Flies like us won't be fancy.So I and other young people have to choose between the body and the soul: a poisonous snake or a lily; a minute of pleasure, or a lifetime of warmth.Just when we are hesitating, beautiful, smart, not beautiful, not smart, all go away from us.We are about 50 years old, and the only thing we can do on Saturday night is to write calligraphy. "" She is the answer to everything, the proof of God's existence! "Zhang Bao praised.

"She asked me to go to Sun Moon Lake tomorrow." "She asked you?" "I declined." "You..." "I can't be with her." "Why?" "Because she speaks Taiwanese Mandarin." Some things are Romance killer.She bumped into her ex-boyfriend at a candlelight dinner, and the glass kept leaking when she was pouring red wine.When teasing her, she said that you look like my uncle, and the car leaked oil on the way to send her home.Singing under her balcony woke up the neighbor's dog, who took her home to find a thief.Walking into the bedroom, the socks all over the floor were confiscated, and when she took off her clothes, she saw a wound on her stomach.Smell each other's bad breath when kissing, feel the tumor on the chest when caressing.Kissing her finger licks the dirt in her nails, and when she said I love you, her back itch kept digging.You can't understand the French she groans when you're excited, and your phone vibrates when it's in an emergency.She didn't find out the toilet was clogged until after she went to the toilet, and when you went to clean it, you found parasites in it.

"Taiwanese mandarin is also a romantic killer." "She is so young, how bad is her mandarin?" "" "What do you mean?" "" I love you, baby! "" "So basically all the sweet talk becomes..." "A guessing game!" "You are now facing a choice," Zhang Bao solemnly declared, "She is the best woman you can meet in this life and the next. She is beautiful, sexy, smart, and enthusiastic. She has a heart of protein and a high-maintenance appearance. She knows how to be filial to her parents, and she knows how to use Philosophy cosmetics. Her only shortcoming is Taiwanese Mandarin. Do you want to worry about this? Giving up the possibility of lifelong happiness because of small problems? Think about it, how old are you? You are already lucky to meet her. Under normal circumstances, you are only worthy of being the dirty thing stuck to the sole of her shoe!" I know what Zhang Bao said. reason.All single men have a bad quality: We are always waiting for the perfect woman despite our own hidden diseases.The lover in front of us is never worthy of our lifelong commitment, because the only one we love is ourselves.

"The importance of language in life is actually very low," Zhang Bao advised me, "The three happiest things in life: eating, sleeping, and intimacy, actually don't need to be spoken..." I was wondering if it made sense, Zhang Bao Immediately correct yourself, "Even if you open your mouth, you don't need to make a sound." Zhang Bao added, "The key to happiness is not to find a perfect person, but to find anyone, and then work hard with her to build a perfect relationship. Love is not When buying soap and shampoo, you can specify a certain brand, and you can use it immediately after opening the package. A person who is in love should be like a gardener, holding the seeds in his hands, and what flowers you bloom depends entirely on your hard work.” I know this is The bullshit that Zhang Bao copied from the inspirational book made me feel sorry for it at two o'clock in the middle of the night.I looked at the volcanic beauty in the other corner of the ballroom, her bright smile was like a shooting star.I took out my mobile phone and pressed her mobile phone number, the ringtone rang, yes, Tracy, Imperfect let us work harder, let your Taiwanese mandarin become my melodious voice.

"Because I'm Worth It" I met Taiwanese Mandarin at the ballroom last week, and I asked her out the next day.We bought milkshakes at McDonald's and I got the receipt and she remembered to put the straw in it. "I love her carefulness," I told Zhang Bao the next day, "I was afraid of being rejected when I asked her out, so she purposely said that she had been waiting for me for half a month. I waited for her downstairs in her company, and she would be late if she was a minute late." Dial my mobile phone. When she showed up, she kissed the flowers I sent and lied to me that I looked very chic. I asked her where she wanted to go for dinner, and she said to go to your favorite one. For dinner, I want to order fried noodles, She advised me not to eat too much salt. Before entering the theater, she asked me if I wanted to go to the bathroom. After the show was over, she insisted on paying me for the ticket. Back in her room, she showed me pictures of elementary school. Midnight two Saying goodbye, she told me to stay a little later next time. Sending me into a taxi, she told me to call as soon as I got home. I felt relaxed with her, without any audience in front of me. Going out with other women seemed like I was having an event, Every step is always two minutes late."

"You've finally found your favorite, you must feel so happy." "Not at all. I'm not used to being in a company, and I always feel that being miserable alone is the norm in life. Now I'm finally happy, but I worry that there will be a bigger disaster in the near future. It will take Taiwan Mandarin away, and my life It will be like a broken balloon. Working overtime at the company on Monday night, ordering a marinated egg on Taoyuan Street on Tuesday night, falling asleep on the bus and passing the stop on Wednesday night, drinking tequila alone at the bar on Thursday night, Watching movies on Friday nights is full, renting pirated copies of videos on Saturday nights, ironing Sunday’s shirts one by one on Sunday nights, and starting to work overtime on Monday nights. I will go back to the days without love, just this Once I have been in the sea, it will be more unbearable to be alone."

"Why are you so pessimistic? You have to believe that you have reached the end, and today's happiness will be with you forever." "Why? I haven't done anything good in my life. I don't deserve happiness." "Because LOreal." "Because no one wants it?" "You are happy because you are worth it. Happiness is a human right, and you don't need to exchange it with good deeds. Happiness is an air that you can breathe freely. Those who claim that they have not found happiness just don't understand the true meaning of happiness. Walking into the door of happiness, still complaining about the air conditioning inside. They hold the hand of the pregnant wife, but pay attention to the cleavage of the fire-breathing girl. The first time the child calls him daddy, he is still thinking about whether to give it to his mistress tomorrow Send flowers."

"They don't know happiness in the midst of happiness, but I am afraid that today's happiness will turn into pain tomorrow." "You can't predict what will happen tomorrow, and worrying about it will only raise your blood pressure. Tomorrow your glass may suddenly fluff, and bananas will suddenly grow on the concrete floor. Taiwanese Mandarin may no longer love you, but you and another beautiful woman Trapped in a blackout elevator. The only thing you can do is eat more vegetables, buy TSMC (the abbreviation of Taiwan Semiconductor Manufacturing Company, which is currently the best performing stock in Taiwan) as much as you can, love more when you have the opportunity, and don't have children too early. The only thing you can do is seize the moment."

"So I should take it easy and enjoy it all?" "You should enjoy, but not take it easy. Happiness requires management, cultivation, and hard suction. Where did you take Taiwan Mandarin yesterday?" "Let's go to dinner and watch a movie." "Did you send her flowers, and what love words did you say?" "There is no need to express feelings in words, I just look at her affectionately." "Don't be stupid. You look at her affectionately, and she thinks you have sand in your eyes. Of course, feelings must be passed on in words, orally, and use every organ in the body. You are still in the stage of falling in love at first sight. When you look at her body She likes your virginal prudence, you like some of her unique expressions, and she likes to take off your heavy glasses. How long do you think this will last? Soon she will find that you wear socks for three days, sometimes a No poop for a week. You will find her has ringworm on her back, and she does not pull the curtains when she changes her underwear. When the friction of living together slowly arises, how many days can you maintain the friendship you first met?"

"then what do I do?" "Cultivate common interests, gather common topics, communicate every emotion, think if I were you before losing your temper. You have to find ways to make your two lives one, so that there is no one who finds fault with the other room." I think about every failed relationship in the past because I only think about myself.They are just topics for me to show off to my friends, and first aid when I am exhausted.Putting up with my childish tantrums from time to time helps me spoil myself.Have I ever wondered where their happiness lies?He never thought that they also have bills and bosses, loans and stomach acid, and they also have setbacks waiting to be evacuated and emotions waiting to be shared.I'm so insecure about happiness because selfish happiness doesn't circulate.Happiness can only flow in an unstable world if its source is to make others happy.

I turned my head and ran to Taiwan Mandarin's home. For the first time, I realized that love doesn't necessarily have to involve myself.At this time, I really want to know which series she likes to watch, what she likes to eat, which song she listens to when she has insomnia, and which parts of her body are her erogenous zones.I'm going to make her happy, call me brother when I climax; I'm going to make her happy, because I'm worth it. "Young MBA Club" I fell in love with Taiwan Mandarin last week, and Zhang Bao fell in love with Anna Sui last week, because each of them has a relationship, and we didn't get together for a week.On Saturday afternoon, Zhang Bao rushed to find me. "Oops, the boss asked me to attend" the party of the Young MBA Club SINGLE_QU OTATION! ""what club? """Young MBA Club", the members are all MBAs who have just graduated.""What is this party doing, discussing financial plans? "" is actually more like Phoenix Satellite TV's "Very Men and Women". "I have heard about this organization for a long time, but I was rejected several times when I applied to join. The party is usually initiated by a foreign businessman, and the companies invited are all in the East District of Taipei. Your company must have a beautiful English abbreviation, and BOA and ABN are the most popular. Five Five men and five women drink afternoon tea in Hyatt, and the superficial friendship is secretly a group blind date. This kind of relationship has a very high success rate, because everyone has the same background and has passed the GMAT. The girls are Ellie in the fantasy world, smart and capable but Love life is extremely empty. Boys are all dressed up like Ricky Martin, and the perfume is so strong that you want to wear a gas mask. If you drink the afternoon tea properly, you can have another cup after dinner. If you drink the cup properly again, you can drink it later Go to the till together. Usually hangover the next morning and the first thing you say when you open your eyes is "who are you". "How do you know so clearly?" Zhang Bao asked. "I used to be a "backup family"." "What family?" "We meet on Saturday afternoon, and those who call can party until the next day. Going to the bathroom, actually calling the "Backups" from the toilet. I'll call him on his cell phone ten minutes after he's back in the room..." "Hey, is Michael there?" "Hey, it's you."" Michael, I'm moving tonight, please help." (Moving? I don't even bother to leave my bedroom.) "Tonight?" Michael amplified his voice deliberately, "No, I'm with my friends." "Please, please, I have a lot of furniture, and I can't move it by myself." (I only have a suitcase and a clock. ) "It's really not good at night, I have an appointment with my friends." "If you don't help me move, I will commit suicide." (Obviously I watched too much at 8 o'clock.) "Okay, okay, I'll try to explain to my friend," Michael shook his head, "Oh, you're really embarrassing me." I hung up the phone, and Michael said, "I'm sorry, ladies, my friend needs my help temporarily, I have to go first Let’s get in touch again!” (Translation: We will not have any more contact, I wish you a happy life.) Hearing this, Zhang Bao shook his head, "Brother Pig is a man, so you are an accomplice." "I only did it once, and most of the parties didn't end until late at night." "So the number of calls is quite frequent." "Because the host is looking for beauties with "nine heads and bodies." "Do they have nine heads?" "The ratio of their heads to their bodies is one to nine." We were speechless, and each closed our eyes and fantasized about those beautiful legs . "I don't know why," I woke up first, "beautiful women are particularly interested in men who work in banks. Men also call them very much, because they are refreshing and not sticky." "" Refreshing but not sticky"?" Zhang Bao frowned , "You are not in that circle, why are you so proficient in jargon?" "They are affectionate, but they don't come to cry in the middle of the night. They are proactive, but they don't start following you after two days. You can ask for anything, they They will not ask to be your girlfriend. You can spend time and drink, and they will not keep calling your mobile phone. One day you change your mind, they will not use pregnancy to keep you. One day she changes her mind and will clean up your house when she moves out Clean." "Oh my God, these men treat women like furniture." Zhang Bao severely reprimanded me, and I agreed, but at the same time we wondered where such a good woman is. Zhang Bao said: "Such a woman is in the Hyatt lobby. I have to go under the boss's order." When you want to betray your lover, excuses are always easy to come by.I watched Zhang Bao walk towards the Xinyi Project District, where his and Anna Sui's vows had been lowered.He looked back at me, "You are my "backup family", I will call you at 5 o'clock." "Definitely!" Yes, Brother Pig is full of men, and they all rely on me to fuel the flames. "Rebound Lover" Last week Zhang Bao went to the party of the Young MBA Club, and I spent a happy day with Taiwanese Mandarin. "I have to break up with Taiwan Mandarin." I said to Zhang Bao the next day. "Are you crazy?" "I'm her rebounding lover." You meet a nice woman, you know you're not up to her standards, but you fall in love with her.She looks at you, knowing that you have no appearance or talent, but she trusts you for life.You are lucky for your dog luck, and the Bodhisattva Temple is willing to run very frequently.When others see the two of you going out, they sigh that the flowers are really inserted into the cow dung.You know there is no justice in this world, but you took advantage and didn't protest.With her you can do nothing more than call home from outside every half hour and listen to the answering machine.You get rid of your bad temper for many years, and you start to wash your underwear regularly every week.Socks are no longer left all over the floor in case she suddenly comes into the house.One month later, on Saturday morning, you went to her house to pick her up for an outing. You rang the bell for a long time but there was no response.You take out the key she gave you, open the door, and walk through the messy living room.She was then seen sitting on the toilet crying with a picture of an old lover in her hand. "It turns out that she didn't love you this month, she just wanted to borrow you to forget the other person!" "Yes, and that person and I are like heaven and hell, and it's very easy to forget him when we're together." "You Have you seen his photo?" "He is handsome, but I have a flat nose. He is muscular, and I have a big belly. He is a Ph.D. from Harvard University, and I am still studying in the United States and Canada at the age of 32. He is the president of a multinational company. Manager, my work includes taking out the garbage and mopping the floor. He took her to Paris on weekends, and I only had money to accompany her back to Zhongli. He gave Tiffany for her birthday, and the only thing I could afford was Hello Kitty.” In the middle, you are a rebounder, bouncing around happily, but you are actually just accompanying her through the transition period. When she leads the half court and recovers enough energy, the next shot will hit the heart. At that time, she will change the phone , making you feel like you’re making a fool of yourself trying to find her. She’ll send registered mail and return everything you sent her. She’ll call your answering machine at home during the day and leave a message saying she loves you and is leaving you.” "But she once said she really loved me." I consoled myself. "Okay, then maybe she really loves you, don't forget, love is unreasonable." "Impossible," I immediately denied myself, "I am far from that man in terms of external conditions. He was in the army in Kaohsiung when he chased her, and she had to go to church every Sunday morning, and he drove from Kaohsiung to Taipei all night, just to take her from Taipei to Shilin in the early morning." "And You don’t even want to accompany the girl from Eslite to Lane 216 after the date.” “He returned to Taipei after serving in the army. At that time, many people were chasing her. In order to get close to her, he exchanged apartments with her neighbors. He I exchanged my four-bedroom and two-living room on Anhe Road for a suite of only 5 ping. Once she was sick, he went to her house to clean up the snot everywhere, and she sneezed on his face. He laughed and said that your phlegm And Christian Dior's "Remember Me". She spit on his new Armani and he said great so I can smell you at work." "And your girlfriend sneezes in the bedroom and you're The living room held back their breath." "On the anniversary of their acquaintance, she was hospitalized for surgery. Instead of sending her flowers or chocolates, he rolled up his sleeves and gave her a 500cc blood transfusion. When she woke up, he kissed her forehead and said so We can be together forever." Zhang Bao and I were relatively silent. "Leave her, here and now." I said unwillingly, "Just because she has a past? Everyone has a past, but it doesn't mean she can't love others!" "This man is not a past, but a birthmark No matter where she goes, he is her identification. No matter how much you love her, she will always compare you to him. The way you brush your teeth, the color of your sweater, the sound of drinking soup, you have any point and That man is different, and she can't help but criticize. Your bed will be extremely crowded, and two people will sleep the size of three people. You will never be able to defeat your rival in love. How can you compare with a good memory when you are flesh and blood?" "I Love her, isn't this the best weapon?" "Everyone loves only once in a lifetime, she has already loved, and will be immune to future affection." "I still have to try." "Leave." There were two voices in my heart. On the one hand, I hoped to use true love to overcome the shadow of that man. On the other hand, I also understood that memories cannot be replaced.Once unforgettable, is it possible for a person to start from scratch?Once found love, can that love be replaced?