Chapter 34 Chapter 9 Qin Yu's Heart (2)

Chapter 9 Qin Yu's Heart (2) Wednesday 28 May cloudy Qin Yu. Sunny Thursday, May 29 Yesterday I met Qin Yu, that little boy. I don't know why I sat in the reading room, doing nothing for a whole noon, just listening to him repeating his depression and confusion.He sat across from me, and the first sentence was: "I am the one who was punished." I have grown up so much, and no one has ever trusted me like him. He would tell me this kind of thing as soon as we met. I simply doubted whether he was normal.However, I was reluctant to leave him and his narrative.It's a feeling I've never experienced before, and I don't want to leave.There was something in his voice that fascinated me.I looked up at him—he was tall, as could be seen, but his face was purely childish.In my imagination, tall boys usually look high-spirited, but he doesn't—he has an indescribable tiredness and irritability on his face, and his obvious childishness makes him look almost humorous.He seemed angry with himself and at the same time couldn't restrain the desire to speak.In the narration, he kept repeating: "I'm in a bad mood." "I'm sick of it." "I hate this shit."

I'm not sure what's bothering him.For me, I don't even know the taste of boredom.I was just scared, worried, but never thought to be "annoyed".By the way, when I was very young, I was often "annoyed".At that time, I was taken by my grandma, and I complained when I had nothing to do: "Oh, grandma, I'm so annoying!" Grandma smiled slightly, scratched my nose, and said, "Children, what is there to bother you? You can’t get married!” As soon as I heard this, I grabbed my grandmother’s belt, dangled there, and shouted, “If you can’t get married, you can’t get married. What’s so strange? Grandma is so annoying!” Holding the waistband of my trousers with one hand, the other hand came to stop me, saying: "Don't move, don't move!" After many failures, my grandma still persisted in threatening me "I can't get married"——for her, a woman The most important thing is to get married, right?

Okay, let's get away.I was going to talk about the little boy Qin Yu from yesterday.I really don't know what to say.The way he looked at me was gentle for a while, tired for a while, and once or twice, he was actually full of resentment.I listened to him for so long and did nothing else.The people in the reading room gradually disappeared, and in the end only he and I were left.He was still babbling on, seemingly unaware that it was getting late.I kept saying to myself: I should go, if I don't go, I should be late for class.Yet, for some reason, I just couldn't move, and I didn't have the courage to stop him from continuing.Across the pale golden sunlight at noon, across the transparent air, and across the distance of an ordinary desk——I looked at him.I couldn't take my eyes off him.

What's wrong with me? Later, finally to leave.It was I who stood up first.Qin Yu sat across from me, as if suddenly choked up with anger, and remained motionless.I turned and walked towards the door.For a short distance, I seem to have walked for a long time-I have been hesitating.Something is stuck in my throat and I can't wait to rush out.Qin Yu... what do I want to say to him? I do not know either. Finally, at the moment I reached the door, I stopped for some unknown reason.And then - sniff, I'm shocked - I turn away... I turn away in the midday sun - I've never felt this way before - I'm ecstatic!My toes seem to have left the ground, and my whole body seems to be flying upwards, melting into the golden sun at noon!I can imagine the circles of sparkling threads I aroused in the air... I was soaked in the dreamlike sunshine, and smiled at the little boy Qin Yu.

I feel like a string of sparkling notes, singing love in the crystal clear air. What exactly is going on? To this day I am still asking myself: Is this really true? I dare not answer, I only know that I didn't do any homework at noon yesterday, and ended up staying up for an extra hour at night. Sunny Friday, May 30 When I woke up this morning, I heard the wind chime hanging in front of the window talking fiercely to itself in the morning wind.Inexplicably, my mood suddenly became particularly good.So, I jumped up and down, and ran to brush my teeth, wash my face, and comb my hair.Holding a wooden comb in my hand, I combed my long hair to the end, while reciting English phrases according to the note pasted on the side of the mirror.Suddenly, I remembered something, and happily stuck out my head and called: "Mom—Mom—" Mom replied in the kitchen: "What are you doing?" The self in the pants shouted: "How's the weather? Is it hot? What's for breakfast?"

After coming home from school, I helped my mother make dumplings.Mom was a little flattered and said, "What are you doing? Do your homework." But I have already started packing, and I don't mean to stop at all.In order to keep my mother from nagging me, I started making dumplings while reciting political principles from the note pressed under the glass platen.I was reciting inarticulately there, and my mother suddenly laughed and said: "I'm going to die, like I'm chanting scriptures!" The dumpling wrappers are very good. I asked my mother if she bought them from a new store. She said no, and said that I didn't know how to eat them in the past.

really?Did I really know how to eat in the past? At this moment, I was sitting under the lamp and writing my diary, only to realize that my senior year in high school was wasted.I still remember when I watched the Japanese movie "Sister Slope" when I was a child, Axi in it said something that moved me-she said: Let me live a year to my heart's content, and live a year as if it were ten years or a hundred years.Ah Qian said such things only when she was about to die—when people are about to die, they probably want to live happily, right?In the third year of high school, I occasionally complained: Oh, I am going to die!But I didn't really die.I still have a lot of things to do in life, and I still have to go to college.Sometimes I think about it, really, how could I die?It sounds incredible.When I take the bus, I like to look at the stop sign: look at where the red arrow points to; for the bus of my life, the arrow on the stop sign is disgusting, pointing to endless eternal life .

Yes, I really think so. Later I had dumplings - not only the skin was good, but the filling was also good. Sunny Saturday, May 31 My cousin is here today. The high school my cousin attended was neither a city nor a district focus.As for my cousin, she is neither a top student nor a bad student; she is one of the students who do not slip in the vast majority of grades.In the past, she liked to come to my house very much, but she came less recently—I know, she has been too busy to fall in love recently. The cousin wore a colorful bunt, and walked hand in hand with the boy on the street—there were many people on the street, but they held hands from beginning to end, skillfully weaving through the crowd.These things, she will take the initiative to tell me triumphantly.I looked at her playful little nose, and really couldn't imagine how such a little girl who looked like a Chinese doll could turn a blind eye to the school's regulations without any scruples, and how could she fall in love as if it were real.Every time after listening to her, I would sigh as usual: "Oh, the child of today!" I feel very old.She stared at me for a while, and advised: "Jiji, you are suffering from a love famine like this, will you die of loneliness?" God, she really thinks of me!

I remember that it was National Day last year, and my cousin made an appointment with her classmates to set up a stall to sell plastic inflatable toys. She said excitedly on the phone: "Jiji, come and enjoy our achievements!" So I really went.On the side of the road that seemed to be daylight, I recognized a group of cousins ​​who were pink and willow green.They borrowed a yellow croaker, and the car was full of inflatable hammers, inflatable sticks, inflatable three-section sticks and so on.They don't look like business people at all-boys holding inflatable toys and chasing girls who are screaming and running around, as if this can express their hearts.Looking at them, I just want to say: so cute!I saw my cousin and a group of girls standing on the side of the road laughingly attracting passers-by—their wrists were covered with cheap luminous bracelets, waving inflatable fighting tools, shining brightly in the gorgeous night, like hanging Puppets with lanterns.The most conspicuous one is the cousin: she is holding a bunch of small pink balloons in one hand——pink green, pink, pink white, pink blue, pink yellow, pink purple... so many, so many that people worry whether she will be caught. Take to the sky and drift away with the wind.I was far away and saw a few passers-by pointing to those balloons, as if they wanted to buy them, but my cousin shook her head and refused.I went over to pat her on the shoulder, and she turned her head with flushed cheeks, and when she saw me, she screamed strangely with excitement.I asked her: "Why don't you sell the balloon?" A flash of color flashed in her eyes, and she replied with a smile: "It's a gift from someone. How can you sell what they gave you?" There was a person calling my cousin’s name above my head—I turned to look, and it was a boy in a lemon yellow coat who looked like a Panama banana; looking at him and then at her, I suddenly understood: she was being used by him Such a flamboyant, dazzling and romantic pampering!

That night, inflatable toys, pastel balloons, autumn green, rose red, lemon yellow... one after another tight-dressed girls led their childish boyfriends and rushed into the dark-scented market.I stood aside and looked at them, looking at one after another pastel balloons in the blurred lights-I realized very clearly: Shanghai is extremely young and romantic! It was that night that I found out that my cousin was really glamorous and beautiful, and it was only natural for my cousin to be pampered by a boy like a banana.Cousin is very happy.Cousin and the others are very happy.I really want to live wonderfully like them, wonderful to the bone marrow, not caring that the floodlights dye my face colorful...

Only on that night, childish lovers like my cousin and the others are real and recognized by the world.I remember that at that time, passers-by cast happy and envious eyes on them one after another—each of them was a female or male A-corner on the stage with skirts or tuxedos. Cousin is still cousin, and nothing has changed because of falling in love.She rushed into my room, sat down carelessly on the floor, and shouted, "Oh, Gigi, it's so boring!" Sunday June 1st cloudy In the morning, I put my schoolbag on my back and went out to make up lessons, but Yaya next door took the lead.She was wearing a light gray suspender skirt, a pink long-sleeved T-shirt, gray and pink horizontally striped socks, and a pair of pink patent leather shoes. She hurriedly stepped across the steps.I called behind her: "Yaya, good morning!" She paused for a while, turned her head and gave me a sweet smile, and called: "Sister Gigi, good morning!" Ribbon, praised: "Yaya is so beautiful today!" She bent down to pull the hem of the short skirt, without looking back, said happily: "Today is June-one-child-child-day! " Really?Today is June 1st Children's Day?I stood at the stairs in a daze until the sound of Yaya's footsteps disappeared.Today is Children's Day?I didn't even realize it.It has been five years since I bid farewell to my Children's Day, and I am so old. Yaya calls me Sister Gigi, which sounds really uncomfortable.I told her that she should either be called "Jiji" or "Sister". If she must be called "Sister Jiji", she should be called in Shanghai dialect.But she has just learned to speak Mandarin, and she especially likes to use Mandarin. "Sister Jiji" and "Sister Jiji" sound like "chirp chirp chirp"—seeing her tender chick makes me conscious It was an old hen that couldn't get any older. I really want to celebrate Children's Day again!In my memory of Children’s Day, I always dress up brightly and go out: if I pass it in school, I will go on a tour from classroom to classroom. There are different games in each classroom, such as using chopsticks to pinch glass Billiards, such as knocking a big gong while blindfolded, or touching eyes and noses, the prizes are usually candies—at the end of the day, my pockets are often filled with colorful candies; Mom went to the street, to the park, to the playground—when I was young, there was probably no McDonald’s or Moshi Burger, but Western restaurants were very popular, so we went in and asked for a steak, a creamy borscht, At the end of the day, I can also get a piece of gluttonous pastry... Oh, don't think about it.Even putting aside the grim fact that I am already a senior in high school, just looking at the current Western restaurants makes people—what?Yes, to quote the vulgar idiom of the boy behind me, it is "nosebleeds".I really miss the old days, the time when I sat with my parents in a western restaurant and ate creamy borscht, when I didn’t even have to use cutlery. I am going to make up classes now, and I have been passing by the western restaurant we used to frequent.It is still a western restaurant, but a circle of melancholic dwarf holly has been planted under the window, and the dwarf holly is surrounded by carved iron railings, separating passers-by from the long-lasting atmosphere inside.I looked in through the tinted glass window and saw a pale woman sitting in it, sheltered from the sun—a woman so well maintained that her age could not be discerned, and her whole face was revealed by the noble and elegant curls. It's getting thinner and narrower—every time I pass by, I can almost see her, she is like a part of a western restaurant; no one is with her, she is always alone, guarding the complete set of coffee utensils on the table.I always think: what does this woman do?How lonely she looked!I passed by today, and I saw her again—I impulsively wanted to go forward and ask: Is your coffee cold?But being blocked by iron railings, dwarf holly, glass windows, etc., I had no choice but to keep going, rushing to make up lessons. People say that the tea is cold when people go away.However, in that western restaurant, the woman's coffee cooled indifferently by watching her—her coffee ignored her need for hot comfort.What happened here?Why can't the happy person sit there and enjoy a warm soup, but let the miserable person suffer her hopeless loneliness there day after day, year after year, and let her wait for coffee Restoratively cold and then dumped, waiting for her frail life to gradually turn cold! ?What's going on! ? I suddenly remembered that little boy Qin Yu.I don't know if I will see him again?He really looked like a pure little boy.However, he was not happy - and why?I always thought that if I could turn back into a child, I would definitely be carefree.But he was so confused, so tired, so restless—what did he want? what can i do for him My childhood is gone forever.Now I have to rush around to make up lessons—and can I get into college?What if you fail the exam?How much do you want to be the same as before, eating cheap western food with your parents, or standing in the middle of the dirty pond on the street, full of choking smoke in your nostrils, while eating fried steamed buns contentedly, or has changed I want a bowl of cold noodles and a glass of ice cream in the small noodle restaurant of Cheng Japanese Restaurant!At that time, the whole joy and meaning of life was to eat, and I wanted to taste whatever I saw.In my memory, the frozen orange juice maker attached to the roadside fruit shop, the once-popular peach-filled fruit candy sold one by one in the grocery store, and the doll ice cream that quickly melted away in the sun , and the golden twelve zodiac signs that the grandfather hiding in the corner burnt soft sugar and poured them... They are all so beautiful-really, children have nothing to worry about, and I have nothing else to do except eat.