Chapter 33 Chapter 9 Qin Yu's Heart (1)

Chapter 9 Qin Yu's Heart (1) I thought I was about to start another uproar, but no.I waited patiently for a while, not daring to relax my vigilance, lest something unexpected happen like last time, but it didn't.I took the Chinese and physics exams that I missed very logically; the results came out, and mine didn’t look too bad; these days are free revisions, and I’m supposed to take the exam the day after tomorrow—everything is normal, normal to the point of abnormality .I don't dare to take it lightly - I was punished just a few days ago, and now I still want to cause trouble, but I will give it to "adolescence" to start.But nothing happened.

Nothing really happened. I really can't figure it out: Why did nothing happen when such a big thing was committed?My parents suddenly treated me very well, my father followed my mother for the first time in 18 years, the teachers at school seemed to treat me as if I was sick and asked for leave, no one said I was playing truant - my peaceful days returned inexplicably ! However, there is a difference.I know, a little different.That's my own problem-- I'm suddenly empty! Some time ago, my whole body was filled with depression, annoyance, anger, turmoil, and confusion; when I was walking around, I felt so heavy, and I kept worrying about whether I would sink into the ground—then Sometimes I always have something to do, either hiding this or that.But all of a sudden, all the emotions flowed from my body and evaporated like water droplets; I suddenly had nothing to do, even food seemed to be optional, and I had to think about it before going to bed Is there any need to sleep? I don't have any reason to be nervous anymore, I don't have any reason to be angry anymore. I just sit at home, hold my textbooks, and wait for the examination.

I half-lyed and half-sat scattered on the bed, holding a book of geography aloft. After holding it for a long time, my hands were sore, so I took them back.The geography book fell on my face with a "snap", it was cool, and it smelled like a book. Suddenly thought, go outside to get some fresh air!I've been bored at home for almost a week, and I'm going to be stupid.How idle I am! So I rolled over and got out of bed, put on my shoes and walked out the door.I didn't have any definite goals. When I left the house and walked down the stairs, I was still at a loss as to what to do.When I got to the second floor, I took a closer look at the electric meter at the stairway: the electric meter of 203 was running fast, and the electric meter of 202 seemed to be not running at all; A skull mark is drawn on it.When I was young, I also liked to draw skull marks on any wall. Usually, I first drew a sharp-edged head outline, then drew two empty holes in the right place, and then drew a neat row on the lower point. the big white teeth, and finally draw two crossed bones under that head - it's such a boring and fun game.I stood blankly on the wall for a while, then turned around and continued walking downstairs.

The sun is shining brightly outside.It was also noon—the kind of sunlight that flows like golden water is all too familiar to me.As if it was still yesterday, the same sunlight passed through the tall window pane at the end of the corridor, and slipped down along the wall, and then, everything became extremely beautiful...Golden balloons, golden twisted threads, golden clothes corners And the hair... those eyes that were as clear as crystal... the whole world was shining, as if melting into the transparent midday sun... I stood on the steps in front of the building, and vaguely saw Jiji turning around in circles of golden thread... She smiled brightly at me... Her voice swayed transparently in the air:

"My name is Gigi." Gigi?Are you right by my side? I looked around nervously—the feeling came again: Gigi is here, beside me, somewhere in the surroundings... I was constantly shaken by a strong intuition, and I almost lost my mind.Gigi, come out quickly!I know you must be here - here it is! No.nothing.Not far from me, a middle-aged man parked his bicycle and stood there, and I found him looking at me carefully.There is no hostility in his eyes, nor is there a lack of emotion like ordinary strangers - I can clearly experience kindness and surprise from his eyes... Why is that?I looked at him puzzled: a very ordinary middle-aged man, looking at me with a slightly evasive expression-hardly left any specific impression on me.However, the moment I met his eyes, there was a sudden heat in my eyes... The midday sun was quietly shining on him, and he looked at me without saying a word—who is this person?have i met himWhat has he ever done for me?Why does he make me feel so warm and affectionate?

I turned around and could still clearly feel his warm eyes behind me.I seem to have seen this man long ago, but can't remember anything about him - how strange!I thought, I'd better go home and continue to review my homework.Recently, my brain is really troubled, and I always come up with some messy imaginings. Then, the moment I took a step towards the stairs, a golden shadow quickly passed over my head! I stopped in amazement, trying to catch the light, as I have done many times... Jiji!Isn't that Gigi? !But I couldn't grasp it—it was too fast, too empty, before I stretched out my hand, it had already dispersed in the air without a trace.

But this time, the light didn't dissipate like usual... It passed over my head, quickly gathered into a small strand, and flashed into the mailbox at the stairway! Wow, I saw it flash in! I stood where I was, swayed by the phantom that flew overhead like a white dove.The sunlight came in quietly through the door opening of the building, and just hit a row of mailboxes, forming a dazzling spot of light on the corner of the mailboxes in my house.I stared at the letterbox that suddenly seemed elusive, and I clearly saw that the light golden and transparent sunlight was slowly flowing into the letterbox from the delivery mouth like a stream...

Gigi! Gigi is that you?Is it you who want me to come to you?Gigi you're here, aren't you? Yeah? I almost went to ask the mailbox in front of me, but the hand I had already stretched out stopped—why bother?No need to ask, no need to tell - now I can open the door for Gigi.Now I know: the one flowing and flowing under the sun, the one quietly waiting by my side, the one that illuminates my eyes over and over again, and the one that gives me a deep understanding...that's Gigi ! Gigi, now I know.I know you're real, you're more real than anyone else in the world.Now I understand, you are always here.You're right outside my door, the whole time.You haven't left, and you haven't said anything, you just waited until I really saw you, and then opened the door for you.You never remind me of such an important thing—is it because the most important thing can only be discovered by myself?But, is it because of this that you are waiting here, waiting all this time?How long have you been waiting?Are you so sure I'll find you one day?

Alright Gigi, now I'll open the door for you. There was a large envelope quietly lying in the mailbox, with the words on the front: Received by Qin Yu.I took it out and held it in my hand: thick, heavy—what could it be?Gigi, what did you put in there?Can I watch it now? It was so quiet at noon that one could hear the sound of sunlight falling on the ground one after another, so pure, just like Jiji's transparent eyes. I tore open the envelope, reached in and pulled out the contents.Just as the icy blue corners of a book flashed into my eyes, a crystal clear breeze blew out of my eyes quietly.I saw that under the sun, the air was blown up freely by the breeze, and the golden thread was rippling away, round after round, round after round...

Sunny Tuesday, May 27 It's still very early.For a long time in a row, I struggled until the early hours of the morning before going to bed. It felt as if it was dawn as soon as I closed my eyes.But today—oh no, it should have been yesterday, I went to bed early: for some reason, I had a headache and I was very tired, so I just ate dinner and went to bed.It's a cheap person in the third year of high school. Occasionally, I go to bed early, but I didn't expect to wake up in the early hours of the morning when there are no ghosts like this.I remember talking about sleeping with Wang Haiyan when I was in the first year of high school. I said that I can sleep very well, and I can sleep until dinner every day. She smiled kindly, and most people who can sleep are those who know how to enjoy life—— —Now it seems that three years of high school life has turned me into a person who doesn't know how to enjoy life.

Forget it, I didn’t write in my diary yesterday, so I’ll make up for it now.I once read a short story called "Yesterday's Diary". It was about a girl who didn't want to miss every wonderful event. She used to write the diary in the next morning.I am also writing yesterday's diary. I am in the third year of high school, and it will be my Black July soon.In the classroom, I was shocked to see the countdown sign on the blackboard saying "There are still 3 days before the return of Hong Kong".I am busy with class, busy with get out of class, busy with review, busy with nervousness-however, I still find time to write in my diary.I don't know why, every day, when I sit under the lamp and spread out the diary, all my worries and tiredness immediately disappear, and all I have is the tranquility and joy of pouring out. Alas, after twelve years of hard study, it is finally coming to the last juncture.When I first understood the meaning of the word "college entrance examination", although I knew that it would happen to me one day, I always thought it was almost impossible, so I didn't even need to think about it-until today, I sat on the bed and found As my time dwindled, I realized that the college entrance examination, which was once out of reach, was just around the corner.I remember that when I went home every day, I saw from a distance that the six-story building I lived in was not tall at all, but when I came downstairs, it was so tall that I was overwhelmed—this is probably the case for the college entrance examination. ? How to do it?Now that I keep a diary, time is passing by bit by bit.I have never felt such a sense of urgency in my life.I was a little out of breath, I wanted to graduate later, and I wanted to finish the exam earlier—thankfully, time didn't listen to me. No, I can't think too much about these things.When I think about these things, I feel sad; when I feel sad, my heart feels like it has passed through an invisible hole, falling down, and keeps falling-every time I think it will go to the bottom, it still falls down.I don't know where it ends. I don't know where it ends.The corners are filled with my reference book problem sets, done and unfinished test papers, this and that, and sometimes I adore myself for being able to endure these things for a long time.I'm tired.There is still more than a month before the college entrance examination, and I don't touch or read the reference books.I don't know where the end is, I think maybe everything is over when I go to university-I don't know.Taking the college entrance examination has almost become my only purpose of existence in the third year of high school. I don’t know what I should do after that—maybe I won’t go anywhere, I won’t walk, eat, talk, see or listen If I don’t do the questions, I don’t do anything. I just need to spread my arms and legs and sleep soundly, enjoying my beautiful life—it’s over. After the college entrance examination, I have nothing else to ask for. I really envy Wang Haiyan.She already has a favorite university and a popular major, and she has also joined the party. She is really the most perfect person, smart, capable, and courageous, without my messy worries and fatigue.I always wonder how a person like her grows up.Moreover, she seems to even have a boyfriend. Oh, by the way, she borrowed that from me, and I have to take it to her tomorrow.I bought this book in a daze, because I felt that it would be embarrassing to spend half an hour in such a small bookstore where it is difficult to turn around without buying anything.I remember that day, when I was on my way back from my classmate’s house, it rained heavily, and I hid in a small bookstore by the side of the road in embarrassment—the store was so dark that I couldn’t see what books were on the shelves. Only a fluorescent lamp that was too old to be used was hung from the high ceiling.Under the staring gaze of the boss, out of a completely accidental opportunity, I took out this book, opened it and looked at the dim light—the first thing I saw was this passage: "...she turned around, smiled, and raised her arms unexpectedly, so light and so graceful. It was a moment never to be forgotten: the golden light of the sun reflected on the sandy path, the golden lights on either side of the gate. The jasmine bushes are in full bloom. This upward movement seems to indicate the direction of take-off for this golden land, and this jasmine bush has obviously spread its wings...” In that dim and narrow small room, I read this description with the lights that had almost faded out, and my eyes were suddenly radiant, and I was immersed in the artistic conception of the sandstone path at dusk for a long time—the thing that fascinated me the most. , or the movements of turning around and waving in the book, I imagined, and even impulsively tried to imitate. That's how I bought this Milan Kundera book.I never finished it, and the rest of the book was boring and incomprehensible to me.However, I like to sit in front of the window at noon, let the sunlight flow down from my body like water, then open it, and read this fragment that fascinated me over and over again, until my eyes gradually become hard to open—— So I closed the book and leaned back into the chair: such a good sunshine and such a good mood - I was too lazy to sit still, knocking my forehead on the cool windowpane, soaking my whole face in the shining In the sun... After a long time, the glass in front of me was covered with a thin layer of mist... I was still lying there, letting the sun and life slip past me very leisurely, imagining that beautiful turn...