Chapter 9 Chapter 4 The Father of a Family of Three

Chapter 4 The Father of a Family of Three We had a falling out with my son while we were having dinner today. There is nothing we can do, so we have to.In my conscience, my son is considered a good son for not letting us worry too much over the years.We've always been happy with him and think he knows things.I think we are enlightened parents, and we don't want to put a lot of burden on the junior, and we don't want to restrain him too much.We used to think that under such thinking, the son's performance was satisfactory.But recently, everything has changed. We have known for a long time that our son was punished by the school.His homeroom teacher called that day, and his mother, Yu Wen, answered the phone. I was sitting on the sofa reading a newspaper.When I heard her mention the phone, I said in amazement, "Oh, Teacher Li!" After my son entered high school, this was the first time that the teacher called, and I thought, I don't know what happened.But I didn't pay much attention to it, because my son had never been in trouble. When I went to the parent-teacher meeting, I heard mostly praise for him. As for one or two criticisms, in my opinion, this is not a shortcoming at all-the level of these teachers , I have some understanding, I think they are either old-headed or shy, there are not many really high-level ones, our country is like this now, except for the teaching level of teachers, other qualities are all on the sidelines, according to me See, my son will be far more thoughtful than they are.Then, Yu Wen seemed shocked and said: "Ah?!" followed by another sentence: "Really?... Could it be a mistake... Oh, oh..." She repeated "Oh" , the voice was getting lower and lower-I put down the newspaper and became interested in this matter.Yu Wen put down the phone, turned around and looked at me, I panicked from her awkward eyes, and asked her what was the matter.She said, "You take it easy—your son's got a warning." That's how we found out about his cheating.

We used to think that our son would never do such a thing as cheating. When we first heard the news, Yu Wen and I were shocked and then disappointed.But we immediately decided not to pierce his heart, let him tell us himself.On the day his homeroom teacher called, he happened to come home late, and Yu Wen and I went to the kitchen to prepare dinner, discussing our son's matters with great concern.In the past, I always thought that a student who cheated must not be a good student, but when the incident happened to my son, I found that his image in my mind had not changed at all, and he was still a very exemplary son.I am very willing to believe him. I even decided that as long as he dares to admit to us that he was punished, I will not embarrass him. I really want to believe him. After all, he has been my son for more than ten years. Know what your son is like: He's a very good kid.After all, Yu Wen is a woman, and she is absent-minded when encountering some things. When it is time to add salt, she takes sugar and sprinkles it again and again.I told her you don't want to do this, it won't be so bad.She looked at me and murmured as if she was about to cry, what should I do, Qin Lei, he is your son.I said, he is our son, so you should believe him, he is not a bad person.I know, she said, I know, but those who are punished are the worst students in the school... I don't know how to comfort her, so I just keep silent.After a while, she said again, oops, why did I forget to ask the teacher if the punishment could be revoked just now.I ignored her and just reminded her: "Don't forget, we agreed just now, when my son comes back, don't mention this matter, just do as usual. Let him tell us himself, understand?" She said she got it, and fried the vegetables in the pot until it sounded like a rattle, muttering as if reciting a book, to be the same as usual, to be the same as usual, and suddenly asked, "He will tell us Is it?" Of course, of course he'll tell us, he's our son, he'll tell us—I reassured her.

Our son usually came back late, and we never asked him where he went. We felt that a boy of sixteen or seventeen should be given this kind of freedom; but when he walked in that day, I couldn't help asking: "Where are you?" went?" Since that day, life has not been so comfortable.Son didn't tell us a single word about cheating.Every day before going to bed, Yu Wen would always say: "He hasn't said it today." I know, I can't expect him to say it by himself, but I still followed the previous sentence as if to comfort myself: "Tomorrow, tomorrow he will definitely That's right. Let's not force him." She nodded obediently.We turned off the light and lay on the bed, pretending to be asleep, knowing that the other person was not asleep either.One morning I woke up in a daze, and I don't know when I fell asleep last night, but I saw Yu Wen staring straight at the chandelier above the bed with wide-open eyes, and suddenly said: "Qin Lei." I replied: "Ah?" "Tell me, is Qin Yu our son?" I was stunned, not knowing what to do, and finally laughed, and said jokingly, "Are you sleepy?" She blinked vigorously, and then quickly Shaking his head earnestly, he said, "If he was our son, why didn't he even tell us such a big thing? If he were our son, why couldn't we ask him directly?" "Don't be stupid." I Reaching out to touch her earlobe, she pushed my hand away, turned her head to look at me, and said, "Tell me, haven't we taken good care of our son these years? Have we taken care of ourselves too much?" I didn't think about it He replied: "How is this possible? We discussed this matter more than ten years ago-we can't give up our lives for our son, right? And the child should have his freedom. It's not good for him to be meddlesome." ..." "But don't you think he is so strange to you? After the incident, I suddenly found that we didn't know everything about him! Apart from knowing that he likes to eat borscht and the size of his clothes and shoes, we also know What do you know about him? Is he like our son? If he is our son, why do we know so little about him? How dare you say you know him? Now there is such a big problem in his file, But he didn't tell us anything. We have been parents for these years, do we understand what it means to be parents?"

We cannot forget this conversation.At that time, the room was still very dark, and everything was indistinct—after forty-five years old, we all started to wake up earlier and earlier, and Yu Wen often complained that she was starting to look like her mother—the two of us were as usual , lying next to each other in bed, disheveled; usually, I like this moment best when I can easily see that we have been married for so many years, and this wonderful woman next to me is more definite than ever The idea that Earth is my gentle and virtuous wife reassures me very much.We often chat happily about the past years. When she leaned quietly on my heart, it made me feel that she was no longer a mother, nurse, daughter-in-law, party member and all other social roles, but just my wife—but that day , She brought up her son and selfishness, she seemed to want to break our unwritten agreement, I can't forget her tone, as if reminding me that we have made mistakes all these years, and we made mistakes until the end.

Unfortunately, whether it is wrong or right, it cannot be undone.Our son has been like this, and we have been like this. Communication has never been our strong point with him-in other words, we are not even used to asking him about things in school.During this long week, we always wanted to ask him about his study and life, and we also gave him the opportunity to let him tell us about the punishment, but our questioning attitude was so embarrassing, and his answer was very reluctant, just as Yu Wen said , he is nothing like our son.What should we do?For the first time, I discovered how poor my experience as a father was.

I finally couldn't help breaking out at dinner today.When Yu Wen asked him about the final exam next week, he frowned first, and then found some words to prevaricate, such as "I will pass the exam", "ready", "no problem", and his absent-minded appearance makes people angry Extremely.After all, he is my son, when did we become so timid and swallow our breath?Sometimes I don't even know who is wrong.In a fit of anger, I dropped my chopsticks.Both of them were taken aback, and Yu Wen told me not to be like this tremblingly.I couldn't care less, and blurted out: "Do you think we don't know about your punishment?" Hearing this, he suddenly gave me an angry look.I got even more furious, stood up and supported the table, but Yu Wen grabbed her hand—she kept saying: "Don't do this." Then she said to Qin Yu: "But, why didn't you tell us? "At this time, she seemed unusually calm.

He buried his head deeply and remained silent for a while, looking very stubborn.We have never had such a big incident in the past. Even if he skipped class in the first grade, we just asked him a few words and gave him a few instructions. The atmosphere today is really tense.He spoke in an angry tone, as if we were wronging him, and said: "Now that you know—why ask me again?!" How and by whom the disturbance was calmed down, I have no memory at all.The strange thing is, I was just angry, very angry, but it never occurred to me to hit him.To be honest, I never hit him, I never hit him - I found that I was treated really wrongly as a father, I didn't even hit my child, what can I leave on my son?He regards me as his father, but to him, I am nothing.I don't know how to face him after today.What kind of father am I?Maybe I really didn't care about him in the past, so I'm not qualified to ask about him now?However, even if everything is uncertain, one fact is certain, that is, I love him-he is my only son, and I have always loved him deeply. , Now, and in the future, I will always love him unchangingly.I love him, isn't that enough?What else do I need to do to care about him?I give him freedom, is that wrong?

This is so funny!I can be a good husband but not a good father.Husband and father, are the two contradictory?I always thought it was impossible.I used to think that I was both a good husband and a good father, but now I suddenly realized that there is a flaw in my life, that is, not being a good father-this idea grabbed me tightly.But I know that after more than ten years, it is not easy to try to change, and I am not willing to change at all.