Chapter 6 Chapter 3 Qin Yu (1)

Chapter 3 Qin Yu (1) I suddenly became afraid of some things that I was not afraid of before.For example, I was afraid of meeting Wang Haiyan.Another example is the fear of going home. There are always father and mother at home.I don't know if it's my psychological effect or they are in a better mood recently, anyway, they have been very kind to me recently, whether Qin Yu wants it for a while, does Qin Yu want that for a while.Of course it's nice of them to be kind to me, but their kindness—for some reason—is like a kind of politeness to guests.For example, when I make my own bed in the morning, my mother will rush over and say, "I'll do it, you can go to school." This is so strange, is it normal, I always make my own bed, and my parents follow me. Since I was seven years old, I have tried my best to insist on doing my own thing. How come I am so old, but I regretted it?I rushed and said: "No, no, I will do it." But my mother actually said: "Children must be obedient, go to school quickly." Hey, usually I rely on not doing housework, so she said I was "disobedient", What happened today?I had no choice—she was my mother, so I had to bear with it anyway—so I sorted out my schoolbag and changed my shoes.I stood at the door tying my shoes, and my mother seemed reluctant to let me go, asking this and that, asking me how the school was, how the teacher was, how the classmates were, whether there were any exams...God knows, I hate talking about it lately. school business.I faltered and said a little perfunctory to her, but she suddenly said: "Hey, why don't you go to school?" Didn't she ask me something?I promised to leave, but what did she think of, and she wanted to ask me again.This is really endless.For another example, when our family eats dinner at the dining table, I always can’t eat it. The two of them have a good appetite and want to treat my things at school as a side dish. They ask me this question in an incoherent way In my case, I almost wanted to know how many brooms were in our classroom, and I was going crazy from their friendly tone.

I would rather they just ignore my studies and let me fend for myself as they did in the past.My father reads newspapers, and my mother opposes my father reading newspapers; my mother watches Taiwanese romance films, and my father opposes my mother's watching Taiwanese romance films—as for me, I am the most exemplary son, and they are half-distracted except for feeding me, clothing, and change. No need to fuck either. Really, I miss that old home.This situation is quite rare in our family.Liang Shouqian makes up lessons almost every day, and his parents know every test he takes; Zhao Ou's name sounds like the physical unit "megohm". We always say that she has extraordinary energy, but a top student like her with extraordinary energy, I still have to learn English non-stop, learn to play the piano, and even learn the radio imaging of Laoshizi-I have never heard of it in eight lifetimes; Fan Bin’s father is closer to the school teachers than uncles and aunts, but every time he goes to school Come here to visit those kind teachers, and when you go back, you will be more fierce to your son than your enemy.My family is different. My family probably has a tradition of not caring about the next generation - my grandma left my father alone and went back to my hometown, and my parents didn't like to control me too much.I happened to be happy and carefree.In my opinion, the bloody love between parents is also very good.In their generation, the two of them were really advanced in concept. They lived together for so many years after marriage (look, my grandparents didn’t force them to have children, and they didn’t care at all); Wanting to keep the life of the two, I happened to be a child who didn't need to worry about them, so they passed each other knives in the hospital and plates at home-generally mothers object to father reading newspapers, just want him to go to the kitchen I handed her oil and vinegar, bowls and basins, and even sent me downstairs to buy salt and sugar, green onions and ginger when it was too much. First, one is the first at home, the two offset each other, they are just equal, I have been married for almost 20 years, I am a pair of pious parents in front of me, and I am a lover of love behind my back, playing social roles. in place.Ha, it is my greatest blessing to have the two of them as parents for my son.

It's a pity that Wang Haiyan is becoming more and more annoying, and the two of them seem to be in collusion with her, and they are also becoming more and more annoying.I'm worried they might have heard something.No, if they heard something, wouldn't they come and ask me?Punishment is a big deal.At this point, I can't tell them no matter what. I'm afraid they will come to me with a look of urgency like Wang Haiyan: Why didn't you tell us?Then I really can't bear it.If you don't tell, you don't tell. Why do girls have so many things? They have to find a reason.Why should I tell her?What would it do me to tell her?It's just adding one more person to worry about me, and it will be annoying to death.

I miss her in the past, although she sometimes loves to talk, but she never said to me "why didn't you tell me".That time I took her to my grandma’s house to play, and on that weird bridge, I saw the words written on it by children stupidly, saying that so-and-so loves so-and-so—to be honest, such words are really stupid See, I was standing there at the time, and I felt very uncomfortable when I read these words——for some reason, she cried after calling me; I didn’t understand what she meant by crying, but I was very, very moved at the time, and I I was so moved that I couldn’t speak, like a neurotic, I just said that we were going to leave early in the morning; on the car going back, I finally had the opportunity and the courage to hold her hand——I think at that time She is the nicest person, not boastful or fake - I feel the slight movement of her fingers, peek at her, only see a few light strands of hair that are not combed in the nape of her neck, I I really think she is the best and the best person.But last week she ran to the door of my classroom, with a face full of impatience, and kept asking me why why, I don't know her at all.Fortunately, the class bell rang, and my voice hid in the ring, so I could tell her what I was thinking—I dare not tell her directly, dare not directly reject her, she looks like that, I am afraid of her, I am afraid She came to act like she cared about me.I'm mad at her.When she heard the ringtone, she suddenly stopped talking, but she still stared at me, as if she wanted to tell me how sad it was for me not to tell her about the cheating of the son and grandson, so I took advantage of the ringtone to rush she roared.I yelled "Why should I tell you", and then I ran back to the classroom-it didn't matter to me whether she heard or not, anyway, as I said, it was her business that she didn't hear, after all, she I always speak to some potato-like guys to win praise from others. I speak for my own pleasure, and I am not responsible for whether others hear me or not.I hate that she treats me like one of those potatoes.

I walked through the reading room—I suddenly found that there was a strange motive in this sentence—I walked through the reading room, but this time I didn’t go to the radio room to meet Wang Haiyan or something.I walked across the reading room only because I preferred the desk at the other end of the reading room, where I was going to sit and do my homework. There are always more girls than boys in the reading room, and I don't understand why.I used to seldom come to the reading room to do my homework. This is a habit I have developed recently.There are always some unexpected things happening in the classroom, and there are always a few girls screaming—the most important thing is that Fan Bin is always coming to pester me.Therefore, the safest way is to escape to the reading room.Fan Bin is that kind of person: if he pats you bastard on the shoulder and says, hey, don't go there, it's boring, and I never go, then he actually thinks that there must be no normal people in the place he despises ——Privately speaking, I have been doubting how normal he is.

I sat down at the table I liked better.I like that desk because it has a hole in it - all the desks here are pretty new, and this one is no exception, but it still has a glorious hole - I can put my left hand on it when I read and do my homework. The index and middle fingers reached into the hole and felt the furry wood at the bottom of the table.I learned hand puppetry as a kid and have since loved having tables with holes for me to stick my fingers in, no matter how many I put in, I have the feeling of being in a hand puppet show.I learn puppet show because I am very clean, like a little girl, and easy to manage, so the teacher recommends me to go; I always play evil roles, like the wolf in "Wolf and the Lamb", "Pull the Carrot" The mouse in ", the fox in "The Crow and the Fox" -- well, I have been a villain since I was a child, no wonder I am so unlucky now.

Speaking of unlucky, I hope that I am not so unlucky that I met the girl named Jiji last time.I've pretty much forgotten about it, and if I hadn't been in the reading room today, I'd have forgotten about it.But as soon as I walked into the Lao Shizi door of the reading room, I remembered the last time she stood at the door and turned around—she stood still suddenly, then lowered her head slightly, and turned around with some kind of movement ;Her posture is unexpectedly elegant and light, making people feel that she has no weight, just a balloon floating on the ground, light and beautiful, shaking in front of me; her voice also shakes and melts into the warm and lazy midday in the air, she said:

"My name is Gigi." But I hope I won't meet this girl named Jiji again.I'm actually the biggest idiot in the world.She knows that I was punished, she knows why I was punished, she knows how I was punished—if she knows so many things about me, how can I keep her from knowing my birthday, and when I was a child, I was almost hit by a car while crossing the road Die, I've been in a puppet show, I have a cramp-skinned cat called Syringe?The thing is, I don't know anything about her, except that she calls herself Gigi—I'm not even sure if she really is called Gigi, after all, Gigi is kind of absurd anyway.

I was doing my homework and stuck the index and middle fingers of my left hand into the hole on the table.I'm pretty laid back right now.When I’m not at ease, I always think of punishment, Wang Haiyan, parents, my ears are always ringing with that silly adolescent teacher reading something on the dilapidated loudspeaker after researching and deciding to give Qin Yu a warning punishment—— ——It’s the “research decision” of each potato that gave me punishment. Maybe they tried their best to vote with their stupid hands. If one person is unlucky, even a group of potatoes can raise their hands against you.So I have to take advantage of my leisurely time to do my homework and live a good life.Next week we have final exams—the final exams are brought forward in order to pass the exam—I have never been so afraid of exams.

Someone sat down across the table from me.I'm not interested in seeing that man's face.I wish to be alone—I thought no one else in the reading room would want to sit on the table with the hole except me—but since someone comes, I don't necessarily want to knock him out.I know that there is another unoccupied table in this reading room: the one by the window; Wang Haiyan is always used to sitting at that table, and she is also used to borrowing a lot of messy dictionaries and spreading them out in a serious manner she opened, and went about her business with a serious face; there seemed to be something witchy about her table, and even if she never came, it was seldom occupied.I heard that once, an unlucky guy was sitting there, and when she came, she kept silent and flipped through the Laoshizi dictionary she had borrowed vigorously, taking up two-thirds of the table.The unlucky guy sat for another ten minutes, being oppressed in both physical space and psychological space, the more he sat, the tighter and tighter he finally escaped.I admire Wang Haiyan's deterrent power very much. Although a person with such a deterrent power is inevitably scary, I can't be the first one.For example, there is a person sitting across from me right now, and when I write, the nib of the pen hooks on the paper and makes a small sound of sticking together, but I dare not even look at him.

"Qin Yu." Hey, someone is calling me.This sound is very light, very transparent, without any weight, like a balloon swaying in the air.I still remember that last time in the reading room, there was also such a voice, transparently saying: "Everyone is gone." Gigi! I had to look up at the person sitting opposite me—the light ivory face, a pair of transparent clear water eyes under the long eyelashes, and the long hair gently protecting her face. Gold balloon - it's Gigi. With a pen in her hand, she neither smiled nor smiled, and looked at me quietly: "Are you in a better mood?" "What?" I asked incredulously. She smiled lightly, shook her head, said nothing more, but lowered her head to write her homework.I learned of her habit only later, and she never repeated herself.I saw that her textbooks were wrapped in calendar paper with pictures of landscapes, with blue sky and white clouds, green grass dotted with lilac flowers, and several red-roofed huts, which looked like toys.Some people walked past and others came, but she ignored them and just did her homework on her own.With her sitting across from me, I couldn't do my homework. I looked at the tree outside the window for a while, looked at the librarian sitting in the corner for a while, and looked at her long hair gently protecting her face—she always The peaceful expression and a kind of peaceful movement make me like to sit opposite her and say something to her, whatever it is. "Do you often come to the reading room?" I asked without words. She looked away from her homework, looked at me quietly, and replied, "Not often." She lowered her head to do her endless homework.After a while, she spoke again and said to her homework book, "I often meet you." "I only met you twice." "I've only been here twice." For some reason, after hearing her words, I immediately felt a faint excitement in my heart.I took my finger out of the hole in the table and felt the smooth edge of the hole.I saw my pen case next to the hole - I've always been used to pens, because I couldn't find any pens other than pens at home since I was a child. I think my foolish father wanted to prove his frankness, Capable, scientific and unfashionable (actually, it's just a pen). She didn't seem particularly talkative in person, and was quite comfortable with being so.I've heard the mathematical formula that if a man won't talk he's either a prime genius or a prime fool--don't be fooled by that, I tell you the truth. It's very simple, what if life is a dumb person?What's more, this Jiji here, she doesn't talk, neither because she is stupid, nor because she is smart-she doesn't talk, I guess it's just for some unknown reason.Alas, to be honest, if she talked like Wang Haiyan, I would not be here by now. "I said," I was out of words again, "what class are you in?" "What class are you in?" She asked back. "Grade 2 (3) class." She looked at the homework book and smiled, with a look of being quite satisfied with the fact that I was in Class 3 (Class 2) of high school. "Then, what class are you in?" I was afraid that she would forget to answer my question, so I asked again. She glanced at me quickly—so quickly, without looking up, that she somehow just glanced at me—and asked, "Do you know what grade I'm in?" Alas, I wanted to know which class she was in for a little interest, and suddenly flew away.Some things are really strange, just like my interest, for some reason, it just disappeared without a trace.I'm in a bad mood again, just like when I first met her.I blame her very much-it's always only me who tells her, and she always refuses to tell me the same thing, she always asks me, asks me this and that, but when she asks, she has a kind of "say no It's up to you" attitude, as if I'm a trick at all.Hmm, if she hadn't reminded me, I'd have forgotten that I'm not at all, at all, a goddamn trick to tell her everything and let a bunch of potatos show their hands I—my trick, I'm quite tall, I'm still quite old, and I still have a name.Hey, I suddenly realized that I was almost like Mr. Li’s son lying in the cemetery—he lay there for many years, let people walk over him, and every year, people would visit him, put some flowers, light incense sticks, Put some dishes or something.This is ridiculous, the people who go to see him are good-hearted people, but they are too happy to live, forgetting that he doesn't eat anything at all, forgetting that his eyes are full of mud In his mouth, in his ears, in his nose, in short, he has become a clay figurine, they want him to eat vegetables, he has no name for a long time, and they still call him that bastard name.He's been thinking and waiting, but they don't believe he's thinking and waiting, because he's not waiting for them, and he's not thinking about the silly things they think.But at least he still lays down comfortably, unlike me, who can’t sleep at night and has to get up and stand, Fan Bin treats what I say as a dirty tune, my mother doesn’t allow me to take care of my bed, Wang Haiyan wants me to tell her what I don’t know Terrible things, someone stepped on me anytime, anywhere, a bunch of potato-like guys surrounded me and raised their hands to vote for years, and the adolescent teacher chased me to write a review of Laoshizi-but God knows he never read it, even Don't even look at it. "I'll tell you," I said involuntarily, annoyed with the thought, "that's all absurdity!" Gigi looked up at me with a little surprise—then I noticed that everyone in the reading room was looking up at me with a little surprise. "Are you talking to me?" Gigi observed my face thoughtfully for a while, and then asked cautiously. "I—was—no, not really. I was—" I was ashamed of myself, and I wasn't really sure if I was saying all this nonsense to her. "Okay." She didn't smile, and she didn't stop smiling, her eyes looked at me so transparently, and her voice was also transparent and light in the air, "No matter what, it doesn't matter who you are talking to, please be gentle." "I can go out." I said in a bad mood. At this time, she said a sentence-she should have said this sentence a long time ago, and every word she said seemed to be saying this sentence.she says: "up to you." I understand, I already understood.Everything she said was actually this sentence: as you like.She was so meaningless.When she said that, I was almost sure I could walk past where she was sitting, without hindrance, swaggering.In fact I should have done that, and if I had, it might have saved me a lot of trouble. Too bad I didn't.After she finished her words, she began to sort out her things and prepare to leave.I didn't move while she handled things.I'm so mad, I'm so mad I can't move.I'm just driven crazy by her unlucky behavior - I go, she says you go, I say, she says you say, I ask, she also asks, she does whatever I want, but she knows everything , she took it for granted.She is so transparent and light.She was sorting things out, not looking at me, who was so angry that she was on the other side, but kept talking to me—her voice was very soft, and her voice floated transparently in the air: "You're still in a bad mood. It's not good. Let me tell you, you're useless. Don't think that you're punishing someone else by being angry and making things difficult for yourself. You can be angry and do whatever you want. Everyone is so nice." , why become unhappy for you? You should behave better, otherwise no one can save you. " She talked in such a rush that every word she said drove me mad with rage.I watched her finish tidying up her things, then raised her head and looked at me casually, her eyes were transparent, making everything behind her shine with a kind of light.Her last words were: "I said, there is no reason, no purpose, anyway, you have to make yourself better, otherwise - as you like."