Chapter 40 16. Those Were the days
Songs to listen to when men and women break up
when we used to be together,
It seems that the existence of time is completely ignored.
what a joy,
What a memorable time, my friend.
I always thought that days like this would never end.
—Mary Hopkins
"Just a little bruise from the car accident."
Early in the morning, San Shun, who lost consciousness due to a motorcycle accident, followed the scene of the accident and ran to the emergency room of the hospital, but what he heard was a few perfunctory diagnoses from the yawning doctor on duty.The doctor meant that only through a diagnosis can we know whether it is really all right, but now it seems that there are no fractures or medial curvature and other symptoms, and Daoying, who ran all the way with Sanshun in his arms, finally breathed a sigh of relief, but he Still worried, I asked the doctor again:
"But why did she keep her eyes closed? If it was just a scratch, wouldn't she be unconscious by now?"
The doctor answered Daoying's question briefly with a deadpan face:
"She is sleeping now. Her eyes are closed now not because of the car accident but because of fatigue."
At this moment, Sanshun began to snore regularly on the white hospital bed, as if to prove the doctor's words were correct.After hearing the snoring, Dao Ying was finally relieved.
This motorcycle accident was really horrific. In the blink of an eye, Sanshun fell in front of him. At that moment, Daoying felt that the whole sky was spinning, and his neck seemed to be stuck and he couldn’t make a sound. not come out.He couldn't tell whether it was his brother or San Shun lying in front of him.Daoying, who ran towards the fainted Sanshun, felt that the road was so long, and the more he wanted to get closer, the more he couldn't get closer.
The flustered Daoying hugged the unconscious Sanshun's head and was in a daze. If Xizhen hadn't patted his head and told him what to do, Daoying might have been there in a daze.
"Anyway, your movements are really fast, like lightning."
Rishijin stood in front of the automatic coffee vending machine in the lounge, and while inserting coins to get the coffee, he said to Daoying who was sitting on the chair, panting.
Daoying took the cup from Xizhen and said with a wry smile:
"I have encountered traffic accidents before, so I have a little experience anyway, but this time it is much lighter than last time."
Dao Ying was also injured last time. Although he had broken bones, he was still conscious after the accident, but his consciousness at that time was very chaotic.At that time, he saw his brother bowed his head and died, but he couldn't even move his fingers, so he couldn't help his brother a little.
Daoying has always been brooding over the fact that he did not send his brother to the hospital, and today he did it five years later.
His recollection was interrupted by Xizhen's voice next to him:
"This girl is the girl you mentioned! Knowing that you are sick, I was afraid that you would be hungry, so I brought you so many delicious foods. She seems to be a pretty good girl."
Seeing his former girlfriend's evaluation of his current girlfriend, Daoying just answered honestly:
"Yeah, she's a nice girl."
Daoying felt Xizhen's mixed emotions when he said this, some were jealous, some were relieved, and some were sad.He silently stared at the girl he liked before and now he liked very much.I don't know if it's because of being in the hospital, but Xizhen's face looks very pale, even paler than Sanshun lying on the hospital bed.
"You look weak, how about you come here to see the doctor?"
Xizhen smiled embarrassedly, and covered her cheek with her hand.
Seeing Xizhen again, Daoying really didn't know what to say.From the moment she left five years ago, Dao Ying has been imagining this day.At the age of twenty-seven, when he was still a hairy child, he made up his mind to quickly regain his physical strength, become an excellent man, and find someone who was a million times stronger than Xi Zhen to appear in front of her. And tell him: "Why are you back, I don't seem to have anything to talk to you now." And laugh out loud in front of her.
But when he was really thirty-two years old, and he would be thirty-three years old in a few months, when he saw Xizhen again, the words he opened his mouth were like this:
"Why is your face like this, as if you haven't eaten for a long time."
The Xizhen I saw was obviously the Xizhen I knew, the Xizhen who had the same appearance and voice as before, was as graceful and eye-catching as before; but it seemed to be different from the Xizhen in my mind.In the past, 95% of the ingredients that made up Xizhen's girl were vitality, but now the lightness and clarity have disappeared from her body, and what is left is the kind of weakness that can be said to be almost unbearable at the age of thirty-two. Did you run away because of that appearance? There is nothing a man can do.
But when Xizhen looked at him, he even forgot what he wanted to say.
"No matter who it is, if it is treated for stomach cancer for five years, it will look like this. The blood circulation is not good, plus the pain, the face will become like this."
The five-year number is just a number that Xizhen used when he left Daoying to agree to meet again, and it is also the number that determines the survival time of gastric cancer patients.Xizhen's words were like cannonballs, and Dao Ying didn't know what to say.There was a long silence between the two of them, when a song from the owner of the coffee shop was heard.Daoying looked at Xizhen's face indifferently, as if someone had punched him on the head.As the music sounded, Xizhen began to talk to himself alone.
"I've always loved this one by Mary Hopkins and that one by Judy Garland."
I remember the name of the song seems to be "It was so good then".Looking at their situation now, it really makes people feel meaningful.The seemingly unwitting host just played the song casually, with the diva's eager voice echoing between the two.
When we were together before.
It seems that the existence of time is completely ignored.
what a joy,
What a memorable time, my friend.
I always thought that days like this would never end.
But the days that I thought would never end are finally over.Daoying always thought that Xizhen had to choose to escape because of her own car accident and because she didn't have the courage to persevere until the end in front of Daoying whose body was broken.But today, five years later, Xizhen gave another reason, a reason that he had never even thought of.
"Do you remember what you asked me the last time you talked to me on the phone? You said that I was sick again, and my face was so pale. I was pregnant. At that time, I was also uneasy because of this all day long. After the training, I went to The hospital did a checkup, and I also had a full body checkup at the hospital. I would rather be pregnant, but what I heard about the test result was that my face was pale and I was constantly nauseous because of stomach cancer."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
Daoying struggled to say these few words, it was all he could say.
Xizhen retorted in a low, dry voice:
"You said what I should do at that time. Could it be that I told you who was lying in the hospital that I have cancer and I don't know when I will die. I am extremely afraid and afraid of dying? Although I have the so-called 'doctor' 'The title, I don't even know the state of my body. By the time I know it, I have already reached the advanced stage, and the possibility of survival is only 25%. Do you want me to cry and cry in front of you?
"When your life is in danger and the pain is unbearable, I also cry and cry in pain. I can't do it. It's not my style. I have self-esteem and I can't do it. I didn't put myself in Painful and unable to extricate myself, but I calculated the chances of my survival, which has reached the advanced stage of gastric cancer.
"The five-year chance of survival is 25%, but it's not 0% anyway, so I still have hope.
"Five years is an agreement with you, and it is also an agreement between myself and myself. I must live well. Even if the possibility of survival is only one quarter, I will live well until five years later to see you. For I have been persevering and persisting in this goal. In the end, Emperor Tian paid off, I won, I defeated, and you also won, and I lived a good life. I am so relieved."
She smiled, still as beautiful as a flower, a strong smile that only those who have survived the harsh test have.
But in front of this smile, Dao Ying looked so ridiculous.Although the two of them survived after they separated, Dao Ying waited for her who came back alive so strongly, but he didn't wait until the end.Daoying, who didn't feel sentimental at first, was completely immersed in a kind of sentimentality at this time.She wasn't his gray ocean, but now she wasn't his turquoise ocean either.Whose fault is this?
"It's not anyone's fault, Daoying."
Xizhen, who said this, was not as strong as a smile. When Daoying gave Xizhen the wind that night, Xizhen lost consciousness and passed out.
Daoying ran to the hospital with Xizhen in his arms, and after calling Xizhen's parents who hadn't been in touch with Dolan, he has been taking care of Xizhen.While Daoying was guarding Xizhen alone, a slender man ran in panting heavily.This kind-hearted and honest man of thirty-nine years old stroked Xizhen's hair lying in front of Daoying with his hands, and whispered:
"Heejin."
It was as gentle and affectionate as when Daoying called Xizhen in the past.Xizhen, Xizhen.
Responding to his cry, Xizhen woke up, and Xizhen, who had almost no strength at all, smiled faintly at the two men beside him.Xizhen looked at the strange man beside her with a look of asking for forgiveness, and she was begging to let him go.Finally when there were only two of them, Xizhen smiled shyly at Daoying who was watching him, and told Daoying in a deep voice:
"I'm sorry, I persisted for five years, but in the end no one persisted."
The deep voice reached Daoying's ears.In the hospital, people with different illnesses were lying all over the place, some were crying loudly, some were moaning softly, the whole ward was not quiet, but her voice could be heard clearly.Daoying stared at Xizhen's face, which he couldn't hold on to alone.
Tears welled up in Xizhen's deep eyes that were as quiet as water.
"In the beginning, I persisted in order to meet you. However, I worked too hard alone. Later, because of him who just appeared in front of me, I persisted until now. I never thought that I would change my mind. I I never thought that I would start to approach a person like this. Maybe I let my guard down too much, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Daoying."
Quietly listening to Xizhen's sincere confession, Daoying understood a fact: the love between himself and Xizhen ended quietly and gradually.The moment Xizhen left him, she still loved her, didn't she love Xizhen until not long ago? Even he himself didn't admit this fact.