Chapter 25 Section Eleven

35 After physical education class and having lunch with Zhou Zhou, I went back to the dormitory and fell on the bed, covered my head with the quilt, and fell asleep drowsily. I don't know why I am so sleepy, maybe my spring sleepiness has started. It was already 2:10 when I woke up. I lit a cigarette and went to the teaching building with my schoolbag on my shoulders. I walked into the classroom just in time for the second class, and a sallow and thin old man was sitting behind the podium, combing his shiny hair with a small wooden comb.The hairstyle of this teacher is a typical "regional support center". The top of the head is already bald like a butt, but the black and white hair around is lush and growing well.In order to make the surrounding forces strong enough to support the center, the hair around the top of the man's head grew very long. He divided the hair into two strands and coiled them around the front of the head and the back of the head like a road around the mountain. The zone is covered, and the common prosperity is achieved on the surface.

Whenever the teacher gets emotional during the lecture, the hair will fall off from his forehead and hang on the side of his head, making him look like a Hun. I learned from the textbooks on my classmates' desks that this course is "Principles of Mechanics", and the teacher is telling us about friction.He asked us to hold out our hands, palms together, rub them together for half a minute, then smell our palms. "Is there a smell of stinky chicken excrement?" The old man asked with a wicked smile. I lost all interest in this course. In the evening, Zhou Zhou, Yang Yang and Hao Aijia and I went to take elective courses.This semester, we all chose "Sexual Health Education". The importance of this course to us is like telling farmers how to produce high yields.

At first, Zhou Zhou and Hao Aijia were embarrassed to take this course, but when they entered the classroom and found that there were more girls than boys, they sat in the front row generously, took out their notebooks, and said that they would take the teacher's lecture content Record it all.Since the two of them take it so seriously, there is no need for Yang Yang and I to be meticulous, as long as they flexibly apply the knowledge they have learned to practice.So, Yang Yang and I sat in the back row to entertain ourselves. In the middle of the class, Hao Aijia suddenly raised her hand to signal the teacher. The teacher asked her what was the matter, and she clutched her stomach and said, "Shit!" The whole class roared with laughter.

Yang Yang was reading a book at that time, and he heard a girl make such a straightforward request, so he laughed too. When he raised his head and saw Hao Aijia rushing towards the door with a toilet paper in his hand, he couldn't help but stop laughing, and his smile froze. His face flushed. During class break, I was standing in the corridor smoking a cigarette, and saw Yang Yang dragging Hao Aijia to a place where no one was around, and asked her why she was so vulgar.Hao Aijia did not show any weakness. She mentioned another matter, that is, during the winter vacation, Yang Yang took Hao Aijia to the dormitory to mess around. Hao Aijia closed her eyes and let Yang Yang jump up and down on her. Suddenly Yang Yang stopped moving. Hao Aijia opened her eyes and asked What's up with him.Yang Yang said to Hao Aijia under him: "I can't, I have to take a shit first, I really can't hold it anymore." Hao Aijia threw Yang Yang out of bed in a rage, and Yang Yang put on Hao Aijia's underwear by mistake in a hurry. Take a roll of toilet paper and go straight to the toilet.To this day, Hao Aijia still broods over this matter.The mention of this disgraceful past incident aroused Yang Yang's dislike for Hao Aijia. He left her a sentence: "You are becoming more and more like a shrew now", and then walked away.Hao Aijia looked at Yang Yang's back and shouted: "I was going to tell the teacher 'I'm going to have diarrhea'!" After Yang Yang heard this, his body trembled violently.

Maybe it's because I listened to the "sex education" class at night, maybe because I lived in the same environment and breathed the same air, Yang Yang and I had nocturnal emission at night.The first thing I did after my ejaculation was to change my underwear. I got out of bed sleepily to find clean underwear. All my clothes were put in the luggage bag, and my bag was placed in the closet of the dormitory.When I opened the closet door, I was taken aback by the sight of something white and wriggling.When I took a closer look, it turned out that Yang Yang was looking for something naked with his butt pouted.Yang Yang found a pair of underwear from his bag, and said politely after seeing me: "Hello! Here we come!"

I replied confusedly: "Okay!" "How is it, is it a lot?" "good!" "Come on!" Yang Yang walked out of the closet to make room for me, put on his underwear almost with both feet off the ground at the same time, climbed into the bed and continued to sleep.Since the closet was dark and I couldn’t stand the cold because I was naked and exposed to the air, I couldn’t find any underwear after searching for a while, so I had no choice but to put on a pair of big summer pants and hurriedly got into bed. 36 When I woke up the next day, I saw Zhang Chaofan was eating and watching the news. There was a chicken leg in the lunch box. I thought the morning news was playing on TV, so I said, "What kind of chicken leg do you eat when you get up early in the morning? ah!"

Without waiting for Zhang Chaofan to answer, the female announcer on TV said: "Welcome to CCTV's 30:00 noon program, and see you tomorrow!" The male announcer nodded and smiled, "Goodbye!" I think it must be the nocturnal emission last night that caused my body to be so tired that I couldn't wake up from a long sleep.At this time, I thought of Yang Yang, and when I looked up, he was lying on the bed with his eyes closed and motionless, and the saliva was slowly flowing from the corner of his mouth, extending to the pillow cover.Under the pillow, his changed underwear was tucked in there peacefully.

The class in the afternoon was the basics of law. After the teacher finished roll call, I quietly slipped out of the classroom while she bowed her head.This move made me regret it a little, because I was not the only one who slipped out of the classroom, including Yang Yang, Qi Sixin and others, there were more than a dozen people. Zhang Chaofan told us after class that when the teacher looked up and saw the dozen When I found an empty seat, I said to myself: "When will the laws of our country prevent students from coming to class!" The students who did not slip away unanimously advocated that the teacher roll their names again, but the teacher did not count, and those students were deeply unhappy. At the same time, there were many complaints. The teacher said: "The law can only make people get punished after they commit a crime, but it can't prevent people from committing a crime.

I still have nothing to do when I go back to the dormitory, but the dormitory is the place I am most obsessed with.Here, I can lie on the bed and read a novel while smoking a cigarette. When I am tired, I can sleep when I want to sleep, and I am contented. The center of my dorm life is a bed and a row of bookshelves nailed to the wall.The items on the bed included a quilt that was never folded and pairs of dirty socks tucked under the pillow.The quilt would be replaced by a terry quilt as summer came on, and it would reappear as summer passed; the dirty socks would be washed when I had only one pair of clean socks left.The bookshelves are full of my favourites, the LPs with or without LPs, some of the more popular ones that often disappear without a sound.In addition, there are also a few half-smoked cigarette butts scattered on the bookshelf, because Zhou Zhou often calls my name downstairs when I smoke, and at this time I have to snuff out the cigarette in my hand. But he was reluctant to throw it away, so he had to put it on the bookshelf. Over time, those cigarette butts formed a large scale.In the future, no matter which classmate encounters a day when there is no smoke, he will pick it up from my bookshelf and pick the longest one to quench his thirst for smoke.There are a few curly hairs in the middle of the cigarette butts. They come from Yang Yang's lower body and fell from the upper bunk. With more and more hairs, I am more and more worried about Yang Yang becoming a vulture.On the bookshelf, there are Tang poems, Song lyrics, and Yuan operas, and a pirated "Historical Records" next to it.I bought this "Historical Records" from the school's book market at a price of 5 yuan. Combining my deep memory of some famous articles in middle school, I found that the relevant content of this book is actually not bad. Based on the experience of dots, this book seems to be worth the money, but the paper in the book is a little soft and translucent, comparable to toilet paper, which is another wonderful use of it.In a certain period, Sima Qian inspired me—he was put into the palace and still insisted on creating "Historical Records". I have no reason to be sad and depressed all day long because of a little bit of depression in life.But I changed my mind again, the reason why he focused so much on the creation of "Historical Records" was because the official punishment made him lose a lot of fun in life and lifelong happiness, and he didn't dare to have any extravagant heart for the future. I shed a lot of tears secretly, thinking to myself, what else can I do besides copying and writing, so I had to dive down and start the creation of "Historical Records".Sima Qian used the technique of flashbacks, starting with Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty, going up against the long river of history, and counting wherever he wrote. It has been tumbling for hundreds of years, so it is named "Historical Records".

Sima Qian's "Historical Records" has brought me creative inspiration. I have a great idea. I decided to consult different versions of barnyard officials and unofficial histories circulated by the people in various dynasties, and write a "Historical Prostitute". The characters in the book will be as follows: " Li Wa in "The Story of Li Wa", Du Shiniang in "Du Shiniang Sinks the Treasure Box in Anger", Meiniang in "The Flower Seller Monopolizes the Oiran", Li Xiangjun in ", Yang Jiuhong in" and so on.Since Nana and Suifen Qiu do not have Chinese blood, they are not included in this book for the time being.

After Yang Yang learned that I had such an idea, he clapped his hands and said happily: "A wave of climax will be set off among the veteran cadres. This book will definitely be very popular among them." I decided to turn this book into a realistic work and make it based on real life. For this purpose, I need to visit various fireworks and willow alleys, shuttle between Beijing's Bada Hutongs, karaoke halls, and small hair salons.I will also use the forms of biography, biography, and family to write biographies according to the identity and achievements of the characters.Yang Yang said: "For the early birth of this work, you must bring me with you when you gather, and I will help you collect more characters' personalities." Later, this work of mine was shelved due to the pressure of study and life before I started writing. 37 The band resumed rehearsals.Zhong Feng simply stopped going to school, relying on the relationship between his mother and the director of a hospital who had joined the team in the same village when he was an educated youth, he issued a sick leave note, and he could not go to class on weekdays, as long as he passed the final exam smoothly, You can still continue to upgrade.From then on, Zhong Feng lived in our school. As long as one of our classmates went home to live, he would sleep on someone else's bed and change places with one shot, just like a blind person.Later, many bed owners invariably smelled a special smell on their beds, which was a mixture of sweat, saliva, perfume (Zhong Feng often kept close physical contact with He Le) and tobacco. The owner of the house is obsessed with cleanliness. In order to prevent Zhong Feng from sleeping on their own beds, they reduced the number of times they went home. For this reason, they had to give up the opportunity to reunite with their families on weekends. It was unprecedentedly high, no one was absent from the rehearsal for some reason, and everyone's attitude was extremely serious.However, there was one song that we couldn't get down after two days of rehearsal, either Qi Sixin's drums were blown off or my rhythm guitar couldn't keep up, or Yang Yang played the bass and sang out of tune, or The lead guitar with bell wind can't be added in time, but it will suddenly disappear where it shouldn't end. We practiced over and over again, and smoked one cigarette after another, but we still couldn't find the tacit feeling of cooperation with each other.Later, we followed the metronome to practice one by one, and finally found the problem - the basic skills were not solid.So we split up to practice the basic skills. Zhong Feng stayed in our dormitory every day to practice triplets, quadruplets, quintuplets and even thirteenths; His feet were still stomping endlessly on the ground. The students in the downstairs dormitory came up to look for him several times, but Qi Sixin just refused to open the door for them, and kept waving his limbs desperately; Yang Yang practiced making various beats with his fingers while talking; I practice dialing down with the metronome every day. When the speed of the metronome is adjusted faster and faster by me, I have developed the habit of trembling when I pick up anything with my right hand. After two months of arduous training, our band has become a technical and powerful band in the school music scene.There are more and more opportunities for the band to perform in the school, and all the colleges and departments invite us to go to the activities, and a feeling of "wrist" arises spontaneously. This semester, our learning tasks are still arduous.According to the regulations of the State Education Commission, undergraduates must pass the National English Test Band 4 before graduation in order to obtain a graduation certificate. For a time, the ideal of the whole class turned into getting good grades in the English Test Band 4 without exception.The goal of Yang Yang and I is to just pass the exam. Zhang Chaofan is working hard to get a score of 85 or above in the test and get a scholarship for excellent grades in the fourth grade. An unprecedented upsurge in English learning has set off in the class. Every morning, Zhang Chaofan finds a secluded corner of the campus and reads English texts aloud. Some students passing by for morning exercises and women sweeping the streets turn their heads to watch, as if they were watching monsters, but Zhang Chaofan still reads with great interest like no one else around. , with a ruddy complexion, and euphemistically called this learning method "Crazy English." Yang Yang once had a very beautiful wish. When Beijing hosts the Olympic Games, he has already learned some English. At that time, countless foreigners will step into this hot land of Beijing. Yang Yang will stand up at this moment , as a tour guide, in addition to leading foreigners to visit the Forbidden City and climb the Great Wall, he also has to pedal a cart to take foreigners deep into public toilets in Beijing Hutongs.At that time, this kind of scene will appear on the wide asphalt road in Beijing: Yang Yangyang is rubbing his bronzed arms, with a white handkerchief around his neck, and sweat is dripping down it. drip.Yang Yang rode a polished three-wheeled scooter with two brass bells hanging on the front of the car. They made rhythmic and crisp sounds as the car moved forward, and the sounds wafted through the streets and alleys of Beijing.There were two laowai, a man and a woman, in the car. The laowai seemed a bit displeased because the laowai kept her gaze on Yang Yang's tense muscles and ups and downs of his arms. The eyes of the foreigner shifted from Yang Yang to the simple yet modern buildings on both sides of the road.Yang Yang led them into a certain alley in Shichahai, and parked the car next to a hut made of gray bricks with multiple windows on the upper part.Yang Yang jumped out of the car and said politely and friendlyly: "Welcome to the toilet of Beijing (Welcome to the toilet of Beijing)." The foreigner looked at this dilapidated house in amazement. From the mottled images above, it can be distinguished from the small iron plate with a small figure, the picture on the right wearing a skirt is a small woman (foreign women are usually painted with big breasts), and the picture on the left wearing trousers is a small woman. A man (a man with a pipe in his hand is often painted in foreign countries), and under the small iron plate are two Song typefaces written in red paint: male and female.Yang Yang stretched out his hand and made a "please" gesture, leading the female laowai to the women's restroom on the right, and he led the laowai into the men's restroom on the left.Before the male foreigner stepped into the toilet, he was frowned by the foul smell that rushed towards his face, blocked his nose with his hand, and shouted: "NO! NO! NO!" Yang Yang laughed that he had never seen the world, and took the lead. Unfastened the civilization button, and began to release the water eloquently.The urine was sprayed into the pool full of yellow dirt, and the water splashed everywhere. The foreigner had no choice but to come to the urinal. When he lowered his head, his eyes were filled with the dirt left by others. He did not expect that in Beijing toilets You can actually see what other people's shit looks like.The filth below has turned black, only some of the top still maintains its original color of black, red, and yellow, with colorful toilet paper mixed in between.The male foreigner was a little dazzled after seeing these things, Yang Yang hurriedly supported him, and said, "Don't step on the ground here, a mistake will lead to eternal hatred." The male foreigner waved his hand with his back to Yang Yang, Yang Yang let go of him.After the male foreigner finished, he suddenly heard the sound of rushing water coming from the next door. He pondered for a moment and then laughed knowingly.The voice of the female foreigner came from over there: "Are you ok?" The male foreigner shouted over there: "fine, thank you, and you?", and the voice of "I'm fine too" came faintly from over there. sound. For the early realization of this dream, Yang Yang joined the wave of learning English without hesitation.He brought an emergency light from home so he could study English through the night.When I woke up for the first time at night, I saw that Yang Yang's emergency light was on, and a little bit of peripheral light leaked into my bed. I secretly admired Yang Yang for keeping his word.When I woke up at night for the second time, Yang Yang's emergency light was still on, but there was snoring on his bed.When I looked up, Yang Yang had already clasped the book to his chest, sleeping like a dead pig.I helped him turn off the emergency lights, and he turned over and pouted and said, "Thank you!" I understood what he meant when he vowed during the day that he would learn to stay up all night—he didn't stay up all night, but only kept the lights on all night.