Chapter 20 Scene 3 Crimson Road (2)

2 He said that he traveled to the island when he was thirteen.She lured me through the lost forest late at night, and the white lightning split the black sky like a wound.Can't find the way to come.I followed her through the waist-high bushes, tense and excited.The raindrops seeping from the trees hit the forehead and lips with such force.Good life, good life.Are you afraid.She called me softly from the front.We are lost.I had to decide to find a place to take shelter from the rain and rest, and wait until dawn before going on my way. Next to the rock there is a sunken flat surrounded by huge camphor, cypress and chestnut trees.Prosperous branches and leaves set up a closed palace.She lay on her side next to the roots, her feet bare and her calves covered in mud.She said, Shansheng, come, lie down and hug me from behind.That way you don't catch a cold.She is a little goblin who lives on dew and pollen.He was her hypnotized prey, a young sika deer whose eyes were blindfolded with red silk satin.She wants to play with him.

He closes his eyes.He said that in the morning we wake up in the sunlight falling from the shade of the dense trees,.I heard the crisp sound of running water on one side of the forest, mixed with a strange sound... the buzzing sound of air flowing, that sound, like the low reverberation left after thunder and lightning struck a summer field, disappeared in the clouds The last echo below.She said, go and have a look.So, we got up, and she walked in front of me, took my hand, and walked to the depths of the woods again. 3 eighteen years old.He took the luggage that his mother had happily equipped, and with a letter of admission in his breast pocket, he boarded the long-distance train bound for the far north.The train ran for three days and three nights across the fields from south to north.With his second place in the college entrance examination in the province, he was able to exchange for the qualification to enter Beijing.Ambitious people gathered in that city like crucian carp crossing the river.It will be his camp and battlefield, his bridge of transition, crossing the imprisoned river, and the road on the other side, leading to the vast territory in his heart.

Finally leave.Totally sick of home and can't wait to get away from it.Escape from the trivial and mediocre life surface, escape from the narrowness and crowds, escape from the rainy season and scorching heat in the south, and escape from the 18 years of oppressive life that took place here.get away from it.at all costs. I see myself as a mature and aging man.He said.When he was young, he was forced by his mother to face reality with the standards of an adult man, directly lost puberty, and became an imaginary paternal man.Childhood and adolescence are put on hold, lacking the enjoyment they deserve.He stood on the bank and watched the crossing of life, from the bright side to the dark side.There is a lack of explanation given by close relatives.The rationality of what he needs is repeated in time.This is his own long growth.

In this northern city thousands of miles away from home, all history can be cut off.I don't have to and won't tell anyone about my past.It is his wish to be a brand-new man who erases the blanks of the past.Personal style is more evident.He has short hair, usually only wears white or dark blue shirts, and washed old cloth trousers.A pair of sneakers.The figure is not as tall as the men in the north, but the outline is sharp and indifferent.The thick black eyelashes drooped down, as if there were a thousand words.Ji Shansheng, who comes from a small town in the south of the Yangtze River, is an outstanding boy on campus.A taciturn but outstanding man.

Go out for a long-distance run alone in the middle of the night, and run four or five laps around the big playground.He focused on his body.He always felt that he was envious of himself.He is indifferent to others and has no interest or attention.Still love to read.Spend most of the time in the library.In spring, the ancient paulownia outside the window of the library bloomed huge purple flowers, one after another, falling bluntly in the air.The dark fragrance is lingering.Time seemed to stand still, but it was passing by quickly, and before you knew it, it was already dark. Four years in college without any emotional experience.The classmates around him can't help guessing and wondering whether he has something unspeakable psychologically, physically or sexually.But all guesses, because of his honesty, he couldn't help feeling ashamed in the end.His values ​​form a system of his own, a few inches beyond this world, enough for him not to care about the feelings of anyone around him.Don't mind how they wait and see, get close or distant.

Receive more frequent love letters from girls of the same or foreign department.One letter at a time.In his textbooks, in his desk, even in physical education class, the coat was taken off on one side, and when he put it on again, the letter was already in the clothes bag.He was indifferent, completely out of it.Some courageous girls, who wrote letters but received no response, blocked him directly under his dormitory building.And this often becomes the laughing stock and anecdote of the onlookers. For example, Xihua, who is good at singing and dancing, stood at the door of his dormitory and asked directly at the door of his dormitory, Shansheng, can I invite you to watch a movie together on Friday? Shansheng responded gently to her, I am not free.The girls are pressing hard, what about Saturdays and Sundays? No time.What about Monday? Not available.When will you be free? You will always be free.The boy behind him laughed so hard.However, his expression looked quite innocent, as if he didn't think these words were a prevarication.He didn't care that it would break a pretty girl's heart.

Many women have had a crush on me.He said.They bloom in front of me like bright camellias.Wearing a variety of carefully tailored skirts, high heels make their walks swaying.Silky skin, the fragrance emanating from the hair, the face, hands, neck, shoulders, collarbone, chest, buttocks, waist, legs, toes... shone brightly.But I have no curiosity or longing for their bodies and minds.Don't want them to come near.Mental and emotional associations do not occur.Don't allow yourself to depend on and trust them. When he was a teenager, he used to control the love in his heart, like a tree with its buds tightened, stretching upwards with a muffled sound, accumulating strength.Even if you feel depressed, you are not willing to release it easily.He never told anyone.Anyone.Before he even tries to shake the tender hands of a girl he's in love with, he's forced to face the truth of his lust: the organ of an aborted woman.Bloody.Blood gave off a hot smell.Scrapped tissue from the uterus, a fertilized egg that has no chance of surviving.Her naked and mutilated body.