Chapter 39 37．void, chasing the wind

Afterwards I looked at all the work of my hands, and the success of my toil.Who knows that they are all vanity and chasing after the wind, and they are of no use under the sun. ——Bible "Ecclesiastes" In October, I was living in a nursing home on the hillside south of Los Angeles.My life is fixed.At seven o'clock in the morning, I will have breakfast on time, then read and write, and take a nap after lunch.In the afternoon, I followed the coaches in the nursing home to do aerobics, and I went to take a hot bath when I was sweating all over my body.Mom and Dad will come to see me in the evening and we will have dinner together.I like to eat red trout and mushrooms, and I will definitely drink two bowls of egg drop soup.I have a little picture book, and I like to draw some simple little pictures on it.The best thing to see in a nursing home this fall are the fiery red maple leaves.It is so bright red that people can shed tears after watching too much.

Although dull, the new life is still a bit difficult for me.Because I lost my hearing and memory in a gas poisoning accident.For me, the world has become a plane that can only be viewed, as if I will never be able to enter it and participate in it.I have often seen people talking cordially, but their voices are like smooth glass, and I can't catch them. I don't remember anything about the past.I can't remember why I got hurt and ended up in a nursing home.I don't know what city I lived in before, and what kind of people I met.I need someone to tell me everything.My name is Du Wanwan. I wrote it down on paper many times, and I think it's a really nice name.I'm under 21 years old, November is my birthday, my mother said she would take me to take pictures.

The only people who came to see me in the nursing home were my parents—the best parents in the world.He took such good care of me, came to see me every day, and brought all kinds of things I like to make me happy, as if I was just a child in kindergarten.They said, I used to be very filial and obedient.In addition to my parents, there was once a couple of lovers who were about my age.They came to my room one quiet evening with a bouquet of calla lilies.They are all good-looking people, the girl is slender and fair, wearing a big orange sweater, a thin plaid skirt, and a white woolen hat on one side, like a princess in a cartoon who is loved by thousands of people.The boy didn't talk much, just looked at me silently.His eyes are extraordinarily beautiful, and the inside is very bright, dazzling like the brilliance under the entire sky that has been absorbed.They treated me very well, chatted with me, and invited me to watch their shows. It is said that the boy is a very good drummer and the girl is a female lead with a moving voice.Of course I didn't forget to praise them as a match made in heaven.

At the end of the winter I finally left the nursing home and went home.And my family has moved back to Licheng where I lived when I was a child.Dad quit his original job, and he said he would be with me for a long time. I have learned sign language and tried hard to remember the past, but I still often feel like a careless little person.Incapable of love, isolated from the whole lively world.Until that day, I went to the Ruyi Theater to watch a movie by myself.It was a movie called The Double Life of Veronica.The movie gave me a strange shock, and suddenly reminded me of all the things in the past.And the voice in my ears came back.I can hear crying, I can hear the waves, and my ears are repaired again.

Mom and Dad were amazed at my miraculous recovery.No one mentioned the gas poisoning incident again, and everyone thought it was an accident. In the summer of this year, I went alone to Xiaojiezi's house at the end of Xigendao Street.Thank God, thank Xiao Mu, the gas poisoning incident did not kill Xiao Jiezi.He is still alive and well.It's just that his condition seems to be worse than mine - his brain is broken, the doctor said he only has the intelligence of a 6 or 7-year-old child. When I came to Xigendao Street, I saw him playing with a group of 10-year-old children before I reached his house.They are playing shuttlecock in a circle.Each person kicks, then kicks to the next person, and the next person has to catch it, kick it, and then pass it on.When it came to Xiaojiezi, his movements were very uncoordinated. Instead of kicking the shuttlecock, he tripped and almost fell down.A little boy standing across from him yelled at him:

"It's you again! Why are you so stupid! If you do this again, we won't take you to play!" I looked at Xiaojiezi, he lowered his head in grievance, and there were tears in his eyes. Later, when it was dinner time, the children dispersed in a rush.Only Xiaojiezi still stood in the middle of the small street, took out a shuttlecock with almost no feathers from his pocket, and practiced alone. When it fell, he picked it up and continued to kick it, but he missed it again, so he picked it up again.He had a sincere expression on his face, and sweat continued to flow from his ears and forehead.

I walked over and walked up to him.I say: "You are really hardworking." He liked hearing this compliment very much, raised his head and smiled at me, and continued to practice.The Xiaojiezi in front of him was a completely innocent child, completely without the evil and rudeness of the past.He is single-minded, just want to kick the shuttlecock well.That's the big thing in his life. So I said: "Shall I teach you? Teach you how to kick." "Okay, okay." He was very happy, handed me the shuttlecock, stepped back obediently, and watched me kick it. I picked up the shuttlecock and slowly kicked a few demonstrations for him.He watched very engrossed, and then snatched the shuttlecock from my hand, impatient to practice.

"This shuttlecock is too broken. I'll buy you a new one next time I come to see you, okay?" I watched him practice and said to him. "Really? You're not lying to me?" His joy was beyond words. "I'm not kidding you," I said. "Great! You have to keep your word, and you can't always lie to me like they did!" Xiao Jiezi felt sad again when he thought about being deceived all the time.But he soon became happy again, immersed in the joy of having a new shuttlecock. It is really unpredictable and absurd in life.How could I, who had lost all hope in the small house in Gucheng, think that one day I would actually play shuttlecock with the person I hate the most in the world, and he has become so innocent.

Then an old woman appeared at the end of the alley and called to Xiaojiezi: "Little Jiezi! Go home for dinner. What time is it? If you don't go home for dinner, you're crazy here!" The old man was very, very old, walking wobbly, as if the slightest wind could blow her away . When Xiaojiezi heard the cry, he quickly put the shuttlecock in his pocket and whispered to me: "My grandma is angry, I have to go. You must remember what you said, I am waiting for you to come and give me a new shuttlecock!" Seeing me nodding, he ran away with confidence.I saw him holding his grandma by the arm and disappearing into the night step by step.

There is a cherry grove in my dream.Ever since I remembered the past, the cherry grove has always appeared in my dreams.It was a fiery paradise, full of immortals, with melodious music and swan-like girls dancing.I dreamed that I was finally there.Xiao Mu and I picked a lot of cherries together and spread the cherries on the ground to form a bright red heart.Then we got tired and slept under the cherry tree, and we giggled in our dreams as the sky was lightly raining. I finally took a long car ride to the east of Licheng one morning.According to Xiao Mu's description, I can roughly know the location of the cherry forest.So I jumped out of the car halfway and walked into the rolling hills, looking for the cherry grove.I traveled far, far, and searched all the valleys, but I couldn't find the cherry grove Xiao Mu mentioned.Just when I was about to give up, I suddenly saw it.It was in front of me, a little higher in the air, with bunches of red cherries hanging high like lanterns in a festival.The angels sat on the ground, holding their rare instruments, and began to play.The girl in white jumped onto the lake lightly and began to dance.She looks very much like Xiao Mu.

I ran forward quickly.I kept running, and I felt that the cherry grove was ahead, and it was about to arrive, and maybe the next step was to step into it.But I can't run no matter what, the cherry forest is always in the same position in front of me, not close at all.I didn't lose heart and continued to run, like a lost lunatic, forgetting everything, just running forward. Until it started to rain heavily.It was pouring down from the sky.I can't see anything in front of me, and the cherry grove with singing and dancing has finally disappeared.I stood there empty-handed, this is an empty mountain stream, only dense vegetation, wild flowers and poisonous mushrooms.My cherry grove has completely disappeared, and I stand in the endless grass with nowhere to hide.Twilight began to fall. The girl, with loose hair, stood with her hands empty under the dark sky.Finally stopped, she ran blindly for many years.Finally disappeared, the paradise she had dreamed of for many years.She looked up to the sky, and the rainwater overflowed her dry eye sockets, making them moist again... All that, my dear fool, is vanity, a chasing after wind. October 14 at 3:12 am at the 19th floor apartment in Normanton Park, Singapore