Chapter 4 in vain

one That day I walked up 35 steps to the huge bright place.The applause has stuck to me like glue ever since. I saw a brief spring blooming on my colorful nose.No more no more damn who remembers. From the day I became a clown, my days and all became thinner. two Clowns have had many names.He wrote them down one by one in a square book of soft brown leather.The name used in a certain year and month.Each name occupies a page plus a period of his time.The clown felt that his name had been bred into some clumsy animal, always straddling his sparse dreams.It's so crowded. In fact, those names are some clumsy and hard names.He called Maomao in City A and Qiaoqiao in City B.He likes City S the most.They allowed him to choose a name for himself.They say you decide, clown.The clown's eyes glowed.Does he really mean it? You can decide for yourself.That day he seemed to be standing on the stage by himself again.He waited for a while, and seeing that no one objected to him, the clown hurriedly said that my name is Baibai, no matter what color I am now, when my mother gave birth to me, I was called Baibai.You call me for nothing.

In vain, the clown smacked his lips when he saw the thickest-clothed person in the middle.He put out his cigarette too.The clock on the wall skipped a notch.What about the lamp? What about the lamp?The clown stands in the black.He was kicked in the back.He couldn't say exactly where he was kicked because he was so thin that he couldn't pinpoint the location.That man is the ringleader.All the people beside him.People say his woman is called Bai Bai. In vain is the woman he ran away from.She left with three bundles and a shiny pot. The clown is not called Baibai, but he still likes to write this name on the title page of the brown paper.He wrote and wrote, and he felt that the more he wrote, the whiter he became.But he explained to others that he was in love with a woman named Baibai.He said it many times, and in the end he himself thought that his love for the woman who carried the pot at night was for nothing.The stone-faced woman who is still in exile.He imagined the woman was tired and helpless.She stopped suddenly like a big bird covering a rock and never wanted to leave.She would shed a little tear and take out the pot, a shiny pot, and turn it upside down.Facing it, wipe your face white.

three The Joker recently had to settle for a name issue.He had to decide on a name.Because he doesn't want to be a clown anymore. He thought he was going to stop because he was getting thinner. All August he felt he was flying in a dragonfly-like position.He thought the dragonfly was the ugliest animal he had ever seen.Embedded in the sky or in a plant like a naughty pin.However, the eyes were swollen, covering the tears and refusing to let them out.Why keep so much. He was so thin that he could jump on the wire so easily.He is often in a trance.Is it wire? It’s so wide.He thought it was a beautiful railway.A wide railroad with polished rails.The train passed.Yes, have you ever been on a train?But the clown didn't.He liked the circles of smoke that rose from the train.Those are wonderful flowers.The clown has never seen fireworks.He thinks it is like this.The only time he heard fireworks outside was when he was performing in D City.Everyone ran away from him and the stage.He stood on the stage in a daze.He tried to get out but the door was blocked.He climbed very high.Standing on the wire and seeing a corner of the gray sky.A corner, with a tired sunset.Dirty gray stained by something.The clown thought it was fireworks.Docile white and grey.Like smoke on a train.He stood on the platform and wanted to jump on it.He said he would do it.Iron wire is fine, not to mention this.But he kept looking up, watching with such admiration.He is not far from the conductor.He seemed to be working harder than the man in uniform.

After a long time, a metaphor was brewed in the clown's mind: he said that the smoke of the train was the hair that the woman cut and sent to whom.Soft squeaky hair. The Joker remembered wearing a wig like that in one of his lavish performances.He felt top-heavy but extremely beautiful.He quietly tore off a lock of that hair and put it in his pocket.It's the pocket above the heart.So the clown felt very warm throughout the show.The clown knows it's blazing grass.But the clown forgot that the expensive dress was not his own. The Joker felt shot in the chest as he took off his clothes.

He has always wanted to see the railway.He imagined himself standing there holding the once lost grass.Will light a longer spring.Of course, the clown immediately said to himself that there is no more, no more, who the hell remembers. The whole month of August was in a trance, and the clown felt that he was walking on such a wide railway.His wishes and ideals at that time were completely changed. He wanted to stop building railways.Fix it and watch it.The clown sees the train dimming like a lizard.But the white hair shines.The cry came from a beautiful woman, the clown was convinced.Bright and finally smoky hair.The clown finally called out joyfully:

For nothing, for nothing. Four The clown has become addicted to tightrope walking.He greets his trains and women on it every day.He starts laughing. He never laughed before.Because he cares about the name.He didn't think the announcer had said that the Joker was for nothing.What an important fact this is.And those idiots, they pay a lot of money to come here to see it, and they won't know that the clown is for nothing after watching it.So he said nothing, with his lips tightly shut.He stood on it like a quivering dragonfly.He stood precariously on it. He's been moping because he wants a dream.

A dream is a thought worthy of every child's moment-to-moment sorrow. He didn't have a dream so wanted one. The clown has been emphasizing that there is only one, and I have never been greedy. How many times, he thought that he could pick up a colorful and eye-catching dream just by bowing his head.Yes, people always like to throw away their dreams indiscriminately.Especially at a time like this, they are so excited.They abandoned their dreams.The circus is such a great place.Colorful everywhere.Balloons fly overhead, dreams fall to the feet. colorful.The clown sees those fallen dreams sitting on the lower row and worrying.Worrying next to each other.How much the clown wanted to pick one up.He likes white ones, of course.The dream of Shiro who was sitting there worrying too.

The clown wanted to pick it up and tell it to call the woman named Baibai.come out.come over.Come. At that time, the clown thought he must be very manly.The throat is very hard.The clown's voice was like a drum beat by the toughest man in the circus. Women come in vain.The clown can only imagine so much.He thinks he still needs to imagine the happiness after that. But the clown always indulges in his railway, and misses a sighing dream. Every time the clown gets off the wire, he feels sad.He lowered his head, and he saw that all his dreams were dead.He sometimes has extra handkerchiefs.He pretended to take one away and buried it.

He forgot how many white dreams he had buried.He dug holes one by one.He said I quit and quit.I waited in vain.Take Baibai to see those fireworks-style hair. Fives The clown felt that he was getting thinner all the time. It is so thin that only a trumpet flower can be inserted into the neck.Really bad. The clown decided to quit.He felt that it was not good to hang like this; he had to stand on the ground.There may be dreams of falling on the ground, and there may also be women who come over. When he left, he was suddenly missed.It can even be said that he is already somewhat famous.People said that it turned out that his performance was very good.He will laugh.

The clown wanted to tell them that that was for nothing.Tell them to read it out. But the clown decided to forget it.Joker thinks it's easier if he doesn't do everything. He quit and it really became easier than he thought. He was standing under the stage that day.He is for nothing.Always in vain. He hides. Hide in the dark.When the voices were boiling, he heard the dream falling down.radiant.He rushed to the front row and picked up a whole white dream. He hummed a song and went home.The song is also simple.The handkerchief in hand was clean.The heart of the dream is still beating.

Now everyone sit down and let me announce the good news.Really, shortly after that day, a woman came to the Joker.She has luggage.Hair loose.Of course the clown tried his best to look behind her but still didn't see the pot.Joker is not sure if she is for nothing. But the clown called her.in vain. She is for nothing.When she smiles, her smile has wings.Fly around.The clown is thrown into a tizzy.The clown hugged her and said that he has been waiting for you for a long time. The clown felt that it was not too late, just right.Let's go to the railway.Said the clown looked at the white hair.Not a very good looking white.Not bright enough either.The clown took a breath and said let's go get those nice hair.They will open on your head.When it blooms into a flower, you know what it feels like to be immortal. run.The heart of the clown is running.The clown never walks cautiously.He doesn't know how good it is to run.The road is wide, and the white hair is fluttering.He wants to say loudly that I am in vain. The clown immediately took Bai Bai's hand.Soft lotus color fingers.go.Let's go. paused. The girl looked at him in vain and read slowly, wanting to die.Suddenly her eyes twinkled hopefully and she said, I gotta ask you, they say you can have sex on wire.is that true?is that true? The clown's mind rumbled a few times in vain like a train passing by, and he felt that everything was still getting thinner.Still getting thinner, seems to be getting faster.