Chapter 17 Seventeen, mother and daughter room

I don't want my little girl to be exposed to cruelty She should try to stay in the living room as much as possible. — Freud I sat on the top of the double-decker bus and swayed all the way, passing through the streets, tall buildings and trees that I was very familiar with, and got off at Hongkou.The 22-story residential building stands out in the sunlight, and the pale yellow exterior of the building has been polluted by chemicals and looks slightly dirty.My parents live on the top floor of the building, and the streets, crowds, and buildings seen from the windows of my house are all smaller, and the city under the bird's-eye view is microscopic and colorful.But my home is so high that some friends of my parents who are afraid of heights don't visit very often.

And I enjoyed the feeling that the whole building could collapse at any moment.Unlike many cities in Japan, Shanghai is located on an earthquake belt. Shanghai only has a few memories of shaking gently.One of the occasions I remember was when I was having dinner with colleagues from the former magazine on Xinle Road. It was an autumn evening. I threw down the hairy crab in my hand when I shook the first shake, and jumped down the stairs first with a stride. We all came down, we chatted softly at the entrance of the restaurant for a while, the shaking passed, we went back upstairs, I was full of love for life, and quickly finished the rest of the fat and big crabs on the plate.

In the elevator, the old man in an old military uniform is always responsible for pressing the buttons. I always think that every time the elevator goes up, a thin crack will be broken on the fragile surface of the city. When the elevator goes up and down, Shanghai will It sinks to the bottom of the Pacific Ocean at a speed of 0.0001 mm per second. The door opened, and my mother had a happy expression on her face, but she restrained herself and said lightly, "I promised to arrive at 10:30, but I'm late again." , It should be done in the barber shop downstairs. Dad came out, fat, wearing a brand new crocodile T-shirt, holding a "Crown" cigar, and I was surprised almost instantly that after all these years my dad was still quite pleasant Lovely old man.

I gave him a big hug, "Happy birthday, Professor Ni." He was smiling, and his wrinkles were stretched out. Today is his holiday, and double happiness is coming. A day in the life of a professor.Professor Ni sounds much more punctual than "Associate Professor Ni". Zhu Sha came out of my bedroom. She is still staying here temporarily, and the newly bought three-bedroom house is still being renovated.It’s also very interesting to say that my parents were determined not to charge her rent, and they reprimanded her several times for stuffing her secretly in their bags or drawers.There is only one reason for them, "My relatives, what does it look like to value money so much? In a commodity society, we must talk about family affection and adhere to certain principles, right?" My father said.

Zhu Sha often gave them small gifts such as fruits, and bought a large box of cigars for this birthday. Dad only smoked the domestic "Crown". What made him proud was that some European visiting scholars in the department recommended him They all smoked this Chinese cigar. I bought a pair of socks for my dad, on the one hand because in my opinion the best gift for a man is socks (the birthday present I gave to my previous boyfriends is pair after pair of socks), on the other hand my savings It is almost used up, and there is still a long time to count on new books to make money, so we must save a little.

There were also a few of my father's postgraduate students who were guests, and my mother was still cooking in the kitchen, with the newly hired part-time workers helping.Dad's study room was full of high-spirited conversations, and the men were talking about some difficult and meaningless topics.At the beginning, my father wanted to introduce one of his disciples to me as a boyfriend, but I refused, because the bookishness of that boy disgusted me. While a man is knowledgeable, he should know how to understand women's beauty and beauty. Well, for a woman's sorrow, at least she can say some love words.You know, a woman's love first passes through the ears, and then reaches the heart.

Zhu Sha and I were sitting in a small room chatting. Her hair was cut short, according to the haircut in the latest issue of EllE magazine. It is true that love makes people look new.She looks clear-skinned (I'd rather believe that the glow comes from love than the Shiseido cream she used), her eyes are moist, and she sits reclined on a carved wooden chair like an ancient lady. "You always wear black." Zhu Sha said. I looked at the sweater and narrow-leg pants on my body, "What's wrong?" I said, "Black is my lucky color, and it also makes me look beautiful." She laughed, "But there are other beautiful colors Well—I was going to give you some clothes." She stood up and rummaged through a wardrobe.

I looked at her back, thinking that she is always so generous and kind, but this time, is she trying to bribe me, because I have something to do with her and Ah Dick, I gave them a chance to meet, and Madonna is my friend. She really took a few fashions that didn't look old at all and shook them off one by one in front of me, letting me have a look. "You keep it, I don't have a lot of opportunities to wear fashion, I always stay at home in my pajamas and write novels." "But you have to meet with booksellers or reporters and sign books. Believe me, you will become a famous public figure." She smiled and complimented me.

"Tell me about you and Dick." I said suddenly, maybe my words lacked the necessary foreshadowing, she was taken aback for a moment, then smiled, "Very good, we hit it off quite well." They exchanged addresses and phone numbers after the lawn party, all of which was initiated by Dick.It was Dick who called her to ask her out first. Before the first appointment, she still hesitated a lot, whether to go on a date with a man who is 8 years younger than her, not to mention that man has been with another mother. Mi's powerful woman has an ambiguous relationship.But she went anyway.

I can't tell why, maybe she is tired of her own cautiousness, she doesn't want to always be a lady who is clean but empty in people's eyes, and women from good families also have the sudden desire to step into another world.As the saying goes, "Nuns are also crazy". They sat facing each other under the lights in a very unassuming restaurant, and she was deliberately unadorned and casually dressed.But she still saw a small burning flame in his eyes, just like the heart-pounding light Ruth saw in Jack's eyes in "Titanic". That night she went to Dick's place, and they made love to Ella Fitzgerald's jazz aria, and it felt like a pattering spring rain.She has never had such a wonderful and gentle feeling, as if she can love a person to the bone, can melt into water, and flow on his body like water, creating shadows with shapes and expressing emotions with music.She was dizzy.

"Am I a bad woman?" she whispered to her young and crazy lover.He was leaning against the head of the bed naked, staring at her and smiling. "Yes, because you made me fall in love with you," replied the young lover, "good woman in life, bad woman in bed, where can I find a woman like you?" He buried his head in her arms Li, "I guess I'm a Lucky guy." She didn't know how much credibility he had, but she had already thought about it and wanted to wear it, so don't worry too much about the future development, just do whatever you want.She doesn't want to rely on anyone, she has a good job and a smart mind, and in this city she represents a new generation of highly educated women who are independent and independent in spirit and material. "You guys, will you get married?" I asked curiously, "I just care about you..." I added.I feel that my occupational diseases are always based on prying into other people's privacy.Zhu Sha just got divorced, and I haven't known Dick for a long time, but I think Zhu Sha is a woman who is naturally suitable for marriage and starting a family.She is motherly and responsible. "I don't know, but we do have a good understanding." I thought that this understanding should be in all aspects, including in bed, "I like to eat the same food, listen to the same music, and watch the same movies. We were both left-handed when we were young. , was forced to use his right hand by an adult," she looked at me and laughed, "I don't think he is 8 years younger than me at all." "Chang Hao, a handsome Go boy, is also happily married to a woman who is 8 years older than him." I also laughed, "Love is the most inexplicable thing. . . . I never really knew Dick, he actually Very introverted, can you grasp him?——Young artists can often arouse the motherhood of older women, while the artists themselves are uncertain and wandering. What they are looking for is art, not a woman," I said.A few months later, in the divorce of King Dou, which was widely played up in the newspapers, the reason given by the leading actor, Dou Wei, was that he loved himself and music more. "You are also an artist." She smiled lightly, with a dignified face, like a jade sculpture covered with dew in the park in the early morning. She stood up, walked to the window, and looked into the distance. "Okay," she turned her head and smiled, "talk about your novel, talk about your daily life." Her smile made me suddenly feel that I might have underestimated her ability to interpret life and her unique female wisdom.She is definitely a model of independent middle-class women in Shanghai. "How's Mark lately?" I asked.We haven't been in touch for a while and I guess he's busy enjoying family time. "The Christmas holiday has just passed, and the company is very busy all of a sudden, and there are a lot of business to be rushed out-Mark is an impeccable boss, with judgment, organization and brains, except sometimes too serious." She touched my knee and smiled badly, "You two are together, but I didn't expect it." "I like his upturned butt and Nazi-like bones. As for him, I may like my oriental body, smooth, not as hairy as foreign women, golden in color, mysterious like tussah silk, and There's — I have a boyfriend who can't have sex, and I'm a woman who writes novels. That's the whole reason we're attracted to each other." "He has a wife." "Don't worry, I can control myself, and I won't be in trouble if I don't fall in love with him." "Are you sure you won't fall in love with him?" "—I don't want to talk about it. It seems that women are always talking about men. . . It's time for lunch." We walked out of the room together. Zhu Sha remembered something and whispered to me: next Saturday afternoon there will be a football friendly match organized by the German Chamber of Commerce on the playground of Pudong American School. Mark will participate. He is the forward line shooter of their company team. "I want to see it," I whispered. "Probably you'll be able to see his wife and children," she said. "Well, it's a good show." I shrugged.Movies depicting husbands, wives, and lovers meeting at the same time are always dramatic.I think the director is going to pan the camera on me. "Eat more," my mother sat next to me, "I just learned to make this peanut pork knuckle soup." Her eyes are full of maternal love, which is what keeps me warm and makes me feel stressed. It made me want to jump into the mother's womb to iron out all the anxiety and sadness after growing up, and it also made me want to run away from the daily square built by mother's love.Don't worry about me living or dying, and don't bother me. "Are you still ordering takeaway? You're much thinner... That boy—how is Tiantian, what are your plans?" Mom continued to ask in a low voice.I lowered my head to eat and drank the soup loudly on purpose (our family does not allow loud soup).Dad and the students are still talking about current international events, as if they have been to the White House or the Balkans, know the developments in Iraq or Kosovo inside out, and can even tell some details, such as one of the students knowing that Clinton is facing the first time. When Congress investigated the scandal and made a speech to affirm his innocence, he was wearing the ZOI brand tie given by Lewinsky around his neck. This is a very weird and suggestive detail, and he used it to ask Lewinsky to stand with him. On the same front, stay loyal, don't betray him. "Mom," I took a serious look at the middle-aged lady who was still charming but always worried, "you don't have to worry about me, if one day I have troubles that I can't solve, I will hide at home to take refuge— — let's just settle it, okay?" I hugged her shoulder. The cake was brought up, it was a joint gift from those students, with six candles stuck in it.Dad was in a good mood, blew out the candles in one breath, laughed like an old child, and cut the cake for everyone. "There will be a fund coming soon, and there will be new progress in the subject research," he said.So his students talked about the subject one after another, "Research on the Leave System of Civil Officials in the Tang Dynasty" (it sounds like this topic is as strange as pinching a red ball and a green ball in one's hand and asking which one has a yellow ball in his hand). In my eyes, many disciples of professors are simply a group of echoers, or slaves. They first have to go along with the tutor’s academic thinking, hide their doubts, and then follow the tutor to hold seminars after getting the tutor’s favor. He publishes papers in magazines, even gets married and has children under the care of his mentor, and seeks a career until the day when his position is stable and he can make his own voice. One of the students asked about my novel, and I think it must have been Dad telling his students that I was writing again, and though he wasn't proud of having a novelist daughter, he was nonetheless eager to promote it.A group of people chatted for a while, and I wanted to go back. "Can't you even stay for one night? I still have a lot to tell you." My mother stared at me with sad eyes, passing through time suddenly, like interstellar fragments floating in the endless void, "Oh, I I just want to go for a walk in the street, I will stay here at night and sleep with Zhu Sha." I smiled and made the sound of jingling the keys in my pocket, which is also the sound of learning to lie.