Chapter 2 2. Modern city

The skyscrapers loom up, the light from their ribs, See all New York spread out from Harlem to Battery Park, To see streets clogged with ants like swarms, Seeing the cars whizzing by on the elevated railway, Seeing people pouring out of the theater, I vaguely thought, I don't know what happened to my wife. —Henry Miller At 3:30 in the afternoon, there was no one in Lotte.A ray of sunlight shines in through the sycamore leaves on the sidewalk, dark dust floats in the surrounding air, the fashion magazines on the bookshelves and the jazz music on the record player all have strange shadows, as if a bunch of sensuality has survived from the 1930s to the present. Wreckage of dogs and horses.

I stood behind the bar with nothing to do.It's always boring when there's no business. Lao Yang, the foreman, dozed off in the small room inside. As a relative and confidant of the boss, he was stationed in the shop day and night, taking care of the accounts and several of our waiters. My partner Spider took advantage of the time to sneak to the computer store around the corner to find some cheap gadgets. He is a troubled teenager who is determined to be a super hacker. Counting as half of my alumni, he has an IQ of 150, but he failed to complete the Fudan undergraduate course in computer science because he attacked the Shanghai hotline many times and used lunatic wit to steal others. account fugues the Internet.

He and I, a journalist with a bright future and a computer killer with a reputation, have changed in time and worked as waiters in a coffee shop. This is one of the comedies of life.The wrong place, the wrong role, but intertwined into the vortex of a youthful dream.The civilization of the industrial age has infected our young bodies with a little rust, the body is rusted, and the spirit is not saved. I began to fiddle with a large bottle of white lily perfume that was kept in water, and my fingers were entwined with those white and charming petals, which was extremely gentle.My flower-loving nature has made me an inescapable woman, but I believe that one day I will compare my face in the mirror to a poisonous flower and spill out my blockbuster novels about violence, grace, Eroticism, ecstasy, riddles, machines, power, death, human truth.

The old-fashioned rotary telephone rang with a harsh voice, and it was called every day.I get a call from him almost every day around this time, which happens to be when we're getting tired of where we're at.He said urgently and seriously: "Old time, old place, I'll wait for you to have dinner together." At dusk, I took off the silk jacket and miniskirt that I was wearing as work clothes, put on my tights, and walked out of the cafe with a handbag in my hand. At this time, the lights are on, and the neon lights of the store are shining like broken gold.Walking on the hard and wide road, I merged with the thousands of people and vehicles passing by me, like a galaxy exploding in the world.The most moving moment of the city has arrived.

Cotton Restaurant is located at the intersection of Huaihai Road and Fuxing Road, which is equivalent to Fifth Avenue in New York or the Champs Elysees in Paris.From a distance, the French-style two-story building exudes a sense of unassuming superiority, and there are foreigners with dirty eyes and thin but shining Asian beauties who come in and out.The blue illuminated signboard is like the "big sore of bayberry" described by Henry Miller.It is precisely because I like this harsh and wise metaphor (Henry wrote it, poor and indulgent, lived to be 89 years old, had 5 wives in total, and has always been regarded as a spiritual father by me), Tian Tian and I frequent this place.

Pushing open the door, I turned around and saw Tian Tian raised his hand to me in a comfortable corner.To my surprise, there was a fashionable girl sitting next to him, wearing an instantly recognizable but stunning wig, wearing a suspender outfit made of black shiny fabric, and her small face was painted with gold powder and silver powder. A lot, as if just returned from a trip to Mars, with an incredible impact. "This is Madonna, my elementary school classmate." Tian Tian pointed to the strange girl, lest I would not pay enough attention, and added, "She is also my only friend during the few years in Shanghai." Then he said to that girl. The girl introduced me, "This is Ni Ke, my girlfriend." After speaking, he naturally took my hand and placed it on his knee.

We nodded and smiled at each other, because we have become friends who are as pure as little butterflies, and we have trust and affection for each other. When she opened her mouth, I was startled, "I heard Tiantian talk about you on the phone several times, and every time I said it For hours, I was so in love that it made me feel jealous." She said with a smile, her voice was extremely hoarse and deep, like the voice of an old woman in a suspense film like Ghost of a Castle. I glanced at Tiantian, and he pretended nothing of the sort happened. "He likes to make phone calls. One month's phone bill can buy a 31-inch color TV." I said casually, but after I said it, I felt that my style was not high, and everything was related to money.

"I heard you are a writer," said Madonna. "Oh, but I haven't written in a long time, and the truth is... I'm not really a writer." I feel a little ashamed that enthusiasm is not enough, and I don't look like a writer.At this time, Tiantian interjected, "Oh, CoCo has already published a collection of novels, which is great, and has a convincing power of observation in it. She will be very successful in the future." He said calmly, with no expression on his face. No compliments meant. "Now I'm working as a waiter in a cafe." I said matter-of-factly, "What about you? You look like an actor."

"Didn't you say it every day?" A speculative look flashed across her face, as if she was wondering how I would react to her words, "I was a mommy in Guangzhou, then I got married, and then my husband died, Leave a huge sum of money and now I'm living happily ever after." I nodded, acting calmly, but an exclamation mark rose in my heart. It turned out that I was in front of me a real rich widow!I understood where the dusty smell on her body came from, and her sharp and menacing eyes made people naturally think of characters like Jianghu heroines. We stopped talking for a while, and Tian Tian has already ordered Lai, which are served one by one, all of which are local dishes that I like. "You can order what you want." Tian Tian said to Madonna.

She nodded, "Actually, my stomach is so small." She arched her hands into a fist-sized shape, "For me, the evening is always the beginning of the day, and other people's dinner is my breakfast, so I don't eat much. Years of messed up living have turned my body into a big dump." Said Tian Tian, ​​​​"I just like that you are a dump." I watched her as I ate, and she had a face that only a woman with a story can have. "Come to my house when you have time, singing, dancing, playing cards, drinking, and all kinds of strange people can make you disappear. The house I live in has just been renovated a while ago, and the lighting and sound system cost 500,000 Hong Kong dollars." It’s better than some nightclubs in Shanghai.” She said, but there was no smug expression on her face.

The phone in her bag rang, she took it out, and replaced it with a sandy and fleshy voice. "Where are you? Guess you're at Lao Wu's house, and one day you'll die on the mahjong table. I'm having dinner with my friends now, and I'll talk on the phone at 12 o'clock in the evening." flashing. "It's from my new boyfriend," she put down the phone and said to us, "He's a crazy painter, let me introduce you next time. The little boy is very good at talking, just now he kept saying that he was going to die on my bed " She laughed again, "It doesn't matter if it's true or not, as long as it can make my mother happy." Every day, he reads the "Xinmin Evening News" at hand without paying any attention to it. This is the only popular thing he has anything to do with it, so as to remind himself that he still lives in this city.I was a little cautious in the face of Madonna's straightforwardness. "You are quite cute," Madonna said, staring at my face, "not only soft and beautiful, but also aloof and aloof that men like. Unfortunately, I have quit now, otherwise I would have made you into someone in that circle. The reddest lady." Before I could react, she was already out of breath from laughing, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I was just joking." Her eyes moved rapidly under the light, showing a kind of nervous excitement.Reminds me of many romantic veterans from all over the world, both ancient and modern, all have this kind of exquisite but crazy problem. "Don't talk nonsense, I'm very jealous." Tian Tian looked up from the newspaper, looked at me full of love, and put an arm around my waist.We always sat side by side, like conjoined twins, even though it was inappropriate to sit that way in some advanced occasions. I smiled slightly and looked at Madonna, "You are beautiful too, the alternative kind, not the fake alternative, but the real alternative." We bid farewell at the cotton door, and when she hugged me, she said, "Honey, I have some stories to tell you, if you really want to write a bestseller." She hugged Tiantian tightly again, "My little waste," she called him, "Take care of your love, love is the most powerful in this world, it can make you fly and make you forget everything, there is no love like A kid like you is going to die fast because you're not immune to life, and I'll call you." She blew us kisses, got into a white Santana 2000 parked on the side of the road, and disappeared in a flash.I recalled her words, those words buried fragments of philosophy, more shining than the night and truer than the truth.And those kisses she blew still remained in the air, with a lingering fragrance. "What a crazy woman." Tiantian said happily, "but she's great, isn't she? In the past, she used to take me out to drive on the elevated highway in the middle of the night to prevent me from doing stupid things when I was alone in the room for a long time. We drank a lot and smoked marijuana, so we wandered high until dawn. Then I met you. Everything was arranged in the dark. You are different from us. You are two kinds of people. You are very aggressive and full of hope for the future, you and your aggressiveness mean to me a reason to continue living, believe me? I never tell lies." "Fool," I pinch his ass.He screamed in pain, "You are also a crazy woman." In Tian Tian's eyes, people who are different from the normal category, especially those in the madhouse, are worthy of admiration.A lunatic is considered a lunatic by society only because his intelligence is not understood by others. A beautiful thing is only reliable if it is associated with death, despair or even sin.For example, Dostoyevsky who suffered from vitiligo, Van Gogh who had his ears cut off, Dali who was impotent all his life, gay Allen Ginsberg, and the United States in the 1950s who were suspected of being Communist spies and imprisoned in an insane asylum during the Cold War. , Miss Farmer, the movie star who had her cerebellum removed.Gavin Friday, an Irish male singer with heavy make-up all his life, wandered outside restaurants just to beg for a steak at the poorest time, and Henry Miller, who lingered under street lights just to beg for a dime to take the subway, is like a plant that fends for itself , Vibrant wild plants. The night was gentle. Tiantian and I walked on the clean Huaihai Road, the lights, tree shadows, the gothic roof of the Printemps department store in Paris, and the pedestrians in autumn clothes, all floating safely in the night, a kind of Shanghai The unique frivolous yet elegant atmosphere permeates gently. I have been sucking in this invisible atmosphere like a jade nectar, so that I can lose the cynicism unique to young people, and let myself really penetrate into the heart of the city, like a moth into a big apple.The thought puts me in a good mood, and I pull up Tian Tian, ​​my love, to dance on the sidewalk. "Your romance is impromptu, like acute appendicitis." Tian Tian whispered.Several passers-by looked at us, "This is called dragging to Paris, my favorite foxtrot." I said seriously. We walked slowly to the Bund as usual.Every night, it becomes a quiet paradise here.We climbed to the top floor of the Peace Hotel, and we knew a secret passage through the low window of the women's toilet and then up the fire escape stairs.Climbed many times, no one has ever noticed. Standing on the top floor, you can see the illuminated buildings on both sides of the Huangpu River, especially the Oriental Pearl Tower, which is known as the first tower in Asia. The long steel column is like a penis piercing the sky, which is a clear proof of the city's reproductive worship.Ships, water waves, black grass, dazzling neon lights, amazing buildings, this kind of prosperity rooted in material civilization is just an aphrodisiac for the city to indulge itself.It has nothing to do with us as individuals living in it.A car accident or a disease can kill us, but the prosperous and irresistible shadow of the city is like a planet that never stops turning, endlessly growing. Thinking about it makes me feel as small as an ant. This kind of thought does not affect our mood standing on this top floor full of historical dust.In the vaguely dissipated sound played by the old jazz band in the hotel, we looked at the city and talked about our love outside the city.I like to be in the humid night breeze blowing from the Pujiang River, stripped to only my bra and panties. I must have a problem with lingerie, narcissism, public exhibitionism, etc. I hope this is the case Can stimulate the daily libido nerve. "Don't do this," Tian Tian said painfully, turning her head away. So I continued undressing, like a stripper.The slight sensation of little blue flowers burning on my skin blinded me from my own beauty.My own personality, my own identity, seems to be only trying to make a strange myth, the myth between me and the boy I love. The boy sits dazzled under the railing, half sad, half grateful, watching the girl dance in the moonlight, her body has the smoothness of velvet and the astonishing power of a leopard, each imitating the feline Crouching and jumping of animals.The twirling posture produces an elegant but almost maddening bewitchment. "Try it, come into me, like a real lover, my honey, try it." "No, I can't do it." He curled up into a ball. "Okay, I'll just jump downstairs," the girl laughed, grabbing the railing as if to climb out.He hugged her and kissed her.Fragmented lust can't find a channel to flow, the illusion caused by love, the miracle that the body can't reach, and the ghosts that are driven by the gods in the dark but fail to revel.All the dust hits us and sticks to the throats of me and my love. At 3 o'clock in the morning, I curled up on the large and comfortable bed and watched Tian Tian next to me. He had already fallen asleep or pretended to be asleep, and there was a special kind of tranquility in the room.His self-portrait hangs above the piano, it is a flawless face, who can refuse to love such a face?This love of the soul has been tearing our flesh. I read to myself with my slender fingers next to my lover again and again, letting myself fly into the mud of orgasm, and there is always an ever-burning lamp of crime and punishment in my imagination.