Chapter 24 Unspoken rules of the hospital

How much can a word hurt? Su Yawen indirectly denied my self-righteous relationship for two years with one sentence. Song Ziyan directly denied me as a person with three words. I used to have a concept: I am loved by everyone, and those who do not love me are not considered human beings. But now I realize that maybe I'm the odd one among the crowd. Su Yawen just gently reminded me that I might not deserve a complete relationship, and Song Ziyan told me bluntly that I have no right to be loved. It turns out that after reading so many novels, they are full of heartache and heartbreak, as if each one had a myocardial infarction.I have always felt hypocritical, moaning without illness, and then sneered.

But tonight, those three words from Song Ziyan made me feel like I was dying. It turns out that art is not necessarily higher than life, and words are not necessarily exaggerated. The pain in my heart is more than pain, it's a fucking pain! ! I have always felt that I am a King Kong with enhanced attributes, tough in the mountains and forests, the body of the tiger does not shake, thousands of scars do not add to the body, and hundreds of millions of words do not reach my ears.But Song Ziyan's move was not a physical attack at all. He lightly said a big method and completely wiped out my blood and blood. I didn't even have a chance to fight back, so I could only go back to the city in disgrace.

Unexpectedly, Xiao Xue was also there. It turned out that she had changed her job and was now working as a salesperson in an insurance company not far from the school.Seeing my distraught look, he even teased me: "Why did you come back in such a dark day and midnight? Did the young couple quarrel?" This "little couple" is so ironic that my heart hurts. I don't want to hide it from her, but the truth is too bad, so I just replied perfunctorily: "It's okay." She told me solemnly: "The first rule of the cold war between men and women, don't bow your head first. If you bow your head this time, there will be thousands of times in the future."

I dipped a towel in cold water and poured it on my face, and my voice sounded a little muffled: "Don't worry, absolutely not." Not this time, not even the second time, how can there be thousands of times in the future. This hatred lasts forever, how stupid it is. Being stupid for the first time may still be cute, but being stupid for the second time is absolutely shameful! I started the life of a girl in the dormitory again, wearing pajamas, eating two meals a day on takeaway, holding a computer as my husband.Going on like this day by day, one day Xiao Xue, who was greedy and hardworking like a little bee, finally couldn't see it, and yelled at me with a face of jealousy: "Qin Qing, are you planning to die here without any energy? "

While typing on the keyboard, I replied to her: "Why am I so uninspired? I have read a few abusive novels these days, and they made me laugh out loud. Especially that one..." The name card of this novel In my throat, I realized that I had absorbed so much spiritual food so eagerly, and it all slipped away from my mind like water flowing eastward, without leaving a single title. So fucking clean. It was quiet for a while, and the quiet was eerie.In the silence, Xiao Xue said, "Tell me, did Su Yawen look for you?" My hand typing on the keyboard suddenly stopped there, and there was no need to answer.

Xiao Xue said to herself: "Actually, a few days before you came back, he came to the school to look for you. You know my temper. I tried my best to call him bloody, and he said Wait for me to finish scolding silently, and just say one sentence from beginning to end, saying that I want to see you. Later, I directly told him that you are in love with someone else, and now you are living together very sweetly. I said this for revenge. But I Seeing him standing there in a daze after finishing speaking, I felt so pitiful... I thought you and Song Ziyan were fine, so I didn't tell you all the time, but seeing that you've been out of your wits these days, is it him? Looking for you?"

It took me a while to react, and I let out a blank "ah". Xiao Xue asked: "Do you know that you have a kind of spirit?" "what?" "Don't turn back if you don't hit the south wall." After a pause, she said: "Wrong, you are the kind of stubborn person who doesn't know the way to turn back until you hit the south wall. As long as you choose a path, you are considered a path." You can climb all the way to the dark by climbing." I can actually pull out a smile: "Thank you." She looked at me with a rare serious expression: "But, Qin Qing, it's different this time. This time it's not that you can eat whatever you like to eat for a whole semester, or that you can listen to whatever song you like to play all night. People It will change, Su Yawen treated you very well before, maybe he will treat you better in the future, but you are not suitable."

I mocked: "Since when did you become a love analyst?" She ignored me, and continued on by herself: "You and Su Yawen are the kind of people who have been refusing to let go, but actually don't know what they want. But Song Ziyan is the kind of person who is sure what he wants and can't get it I will never give up. You and Su Yawen are both grass, growing in the wind but also swaying, but Song Ziyan is a tree, you may not be aware of it, but he has been protecting you, so I was afraid of affecting your relationship, so I didn't bring Su Yawen here I will tell you what I found you."

"Well said, very exciting." I nodded in agreement: "It's just that you made a mistake──I'm not what Song Ziyan wants." That day I asked him if he loved me like grabbing a life-saving straw, but he asked in a calm and simple way: "Are you worthy?" The Chinese language is broad and profound, and can be used for reference everywhere. Here is a sentence from a primary school text. These three words are like three daggers inserted into the heart of the enemy. This enemy is our family and me. It can be seen that even if Song Ziyan is a tree, it is still rooted in the fertile black soil in the northeast and fluttering in the wind, while I am struggling to survive in the barren saline-alkali land in the south of the Yangtze River.

I was masturbating while holding the kettle to pick up the boiling water. Looking at the white water flowing and flowing, I suddenly remembered that I asked these two people the same question about water. The recycled renewable weapon used by girls to torture boys: If your mother and I fell into the river at the same time, who would you save? Fortunately, both of them did not choose the panacea answer. Su Yawen said: "I will save my mother, and then let our son save you." Song Ziyan said: "Tomorrow, I will enroll you in a swimming tuition class." ... What people will recite are things that have hurt in the past, like eating chili peppers, the more choking the mouth, nose and tongue smoke, the more spicy it is.So the more painful things are, the more everyone remembers them, such as broken love, such as being stolen, such as foot pain...

Sore feet? ! Shocked, I hopped half a step back, and let out a terribly long and terrifying cry: "Ah!!!!" When I arrived at the hospital, my right foot was wrapped in a thick layer of gauze. Xiao Xue ignored my tears and pity, and continued to teach me: "What are you thinking about boiling water?! You can burn your feet!!" I bowed my head and remained silent. The old doctor on the side told me kindly: "It's okay, except that the water just came out of the boiler, and the injury was relatively serious. Fortunately, the part is not big. It only needs to be recuperated for a month or so and it will be fine." Xiao Xue asked, "Do you need to be hospitalized?" The old doctor is very medically virtuous, and he is not affected by the unspoken rules of the hospital to kill patients and give him a commission: "No need, just go back and raise it. The feet are swollen, remember not to walk too much." I thought for a while and said, "It's better to be hospitalized. The beds in the school are all upper and lower floors. It's inconvenient for me to crawl around." Fortunately, this kind of small hospital in the suburbs does not cost much for hospitalization.It was only when I went through the hospitalization procedures that I realized that the health situation in our country was serious. Except for the isolation ward for infectious diseases, the rest were full. In the end, I was only allocated a children's ward.Xiao Xue and I went in and saw two pairs of young parents and two babies on the bed. I was a little embarrassed, and the classic saying came to my mind unexpectedly: Let XX go, he is still a child. In desperation, I followed the fashion and made a giant baby. It is exactly in response to Yi Zhongtian's deafening and earnest words. Tragedy! After everything was settled, Xiao Xue said, "I usually have to go to work so I can't come here often, why don't you give Song Ziyan a call." Looking at the snow-white wall and smelling the unique smell of the disinfectant, although I knew it was nothing serious, I was also very panicked, and wanted to find someone to accompany me like a cat scratching.Even if you don't get close, even if you don't talk, just sit.But after thinking about it, he shook his head: "No need." People can be ambitious, but they cannot be spineless. I'm a bit of a dog, but I don't have the awareness that someone slaps me on the left cheek, and I stick my right cheek on someone's cold ass. What's more, if you try to post it, people might think that half of your face is too messy. I started to fend for myself in the hospital by myself. Xiao Xue would come to see me when she had time, but she was so busy that sometimes she dozed off tired after coming at night without saying a few words, so I simply asked her to come only on weekends.Because graduation is approaching, there is no need to go home, and I don't want to worry my parents, so I didn't even mention it when I called.As a result, the reduced person was lying on the hospital bed in a daze. In the past five days, several people have walked back and forth, watching every pair of young parents whispering, and every time they gently put their children to sleep, I, a giant baby, feel very nervous desolate.Especially when they were feeding sick children, when they coaxed each other, squeezed their mouths, and yelled, I felt like I was suffering from hunger and thirst.Sometimes I don't order food at all, and I jump on one foot and take the elevator to the basement floor to eat. People are most vulnerable when they are sick, and I happen to be the only one in this vulnerable group.Looking at the warmth of the family around me, I feel desolate. The saddest thing is not being alone, but the lack of communication.Except for Xiao Xuelai and the doctor's regular rounds and dressing changes, I would say two or three words almost every day, and politely say to the parents of those children: "Did you eat?" "Are you back?" and so on. There are many good people in the world who will care about a stranger who needs care, but when this stranger dangles in front of you every day, it seems that it is not worth caring.They are just being polite, saying hello to you, after all, I have hands and feet, and I am not seriously ill.They would give me the snacks they bought, but they didn't want to say a word to me. I am dying alone. There are white wall sheets and disinfectant water around here. Hard work pays off, and finally this day has arrived! ! There was only me and a child with a bulging belly left in the ward. Something seemed to happen to their parents. Before leaving, they asked me: "We have to go out for an hour, can you take care of us first, and wait for him to wake up? Just shoot him." I looked at the little angel sleeping peacefully beside me, and nodded hurriedly: "Okay, okay." The parents were obviously very moved by my enthusiasm, and they thanked me repeatedly. After five or six minutes, I listened quietly and there was no movement, so I quickly got up, went to the child's bed, and lightly scratched his nose with my hands. His chubby face turned around and he still couldn't escape my clutches. Finally, as I expected, I woke up! I was overjoyed, pulled a bench and sat there, and announced to him: "Just wake up, let's chat now!" He looked at me with sleepy eyes, and I kissed my lovely listener and began to think about the content of the chat. After a long while, I finally thought of the question that I have been thinking about more and more these days. I took out the bananas in the bag on his table and arranged them: "This banana is a beauty." I took out a pear and put it on: "This smiling pear has a crush on this banana." And an apple: "And this evil apple. " I cleared my throat, "Now let me tell you a story." In the confused eyes of the young audience, I began to tell the story that the fruit family had to tell: "Banana, pear and apple are the three fruits that grew up together since childhood. Banana is a good banana, beautiful, gentle and temperamental, so pear I fell in love with her secretly, but Banana fell in love with the evil apple. And this evil apple has a relationship with another me who is both internal and external, and this well-behaved me has a spiritual and even superficial relationship with pear The relationship between the crab and the crab, and this pear once abandoned our relationship with the crab and exported it abroad for bananas, but now it comes back, and it seems that it wants to continue to develop the relationship with the crab. But we have already broken the relationship with Apple before we started to continue the relationship with the crab. There is no relationship, and in the friendly negotiation to end this relationship, the evil apple also said something that made me feel very unfair..." As I was talking, it was like weaving a crab's net and entangled myself in it, and I couldn't break free no matter what.Looking at the little baby again, he probably had the same distress as me, because his mouth shrunk, as if he was about to cry. I quickly comforted: "Don't be afraid, I'm not a good person." As soon as I said this, he cried "wow". Pat, clap, I hurry to clap. Mouth!That couple really lied to me, the more I photographed him, the louder he cried... I could only pick him up, jumping with one leg and shaking left and right. He finally stopped crying. I just breathed a sigh of relief when I heard a slightly angry voice behind: "What are you doing?" It's so familiar that I dare not look back for a moment. Until Song Ziyan took the baby from my arms, staring at my right foot wrapped like a rice dumpling, he still said in his usual cold tone: "How could it be like this?" I subconsciously replied: "Take the boiling water, the water overflows and burns." He became even angrier: "What are you thinking about? Also, can you hold the child if your feet are like this?" I shrunk my head habitually, but hearing him scold me so much, tears flowed down my face. He was startled, put the baby back on the bed, and raised one hand to caress my face.But as soon as it stretched into the air, the baby's deafening crying sounded again. He withdrew his hand that was hanging in the air, turned his head and said impatiently to the baby: "Don't cry." ... The baby continues to get worse. Song Ziyan's tone became more serious: "Don't cry." ... Looking at the baby with distorted facial features, small mouth and Song Ziyan, who was swaying around, and looking at Song Ziyan with a livid face, I suddenly felt a sense of relief: there are people who are not afraid of you! But the baby was crying so hard that my heart trembled. I bent down to hug her, but Song Ziyan stared back at me.I made a gesture of hugging the baby and explained: "Uh, he won't cry when I hug him." He picked it up half-believingly, and the baby stopped shooting indiscriminately, and only stared at him with teardrop eyes. The world is peaceful. We didn't dare to talk anymore. After a long time, Song Ziyan raised his head and asked carefully, "He fell asleep, what should we do?" I also replied very lightly: "Put him back on the bed." He put the baby back awkwardly, and when he raised his head again, we were even more silent. After a while, he said, "I have something to tell you." I looked down at the ground silently and said, "I also have something to tell you." He hesitated a little: "What?" I pointed to his suit that was still dripping water on the floor, and kindly reminded: "Just now...that baby put water on your clothes..." O___O I took his suit into the bathroom of the ward, and roughly brushed it with water, which was considered psychological comfort. "Qin Qing." When I turned around, I saw him standing outside the door, just looking at me quietly. After a while, he slowly said, "Go home."