Chapter 8 LESSON 8: Virginity Complex

Since the day humans were born, we have had a word called history. History is made up of countless moments superimposed.Since the day when each of us first opened our hearts, God has also prepared another word for us, called love history. The history of love is a thick history of blood and tears accumulated from the person we first fell in love with, the person we fell in love with, and the person we dated. There are laughter, tears, and painful memories that will never be forgotten in such a history.God gave people memory, let them remember.God gives people time to forget.So we struggle between remembering and forgetting.Some people say that if a person is unhappy, it is because his memory is too good.Some people say that when I can no longer have it, the only thing I can do is to make myself not forget.

In fact, drunkenness is just a joke. The more you want to forget someone, the more clearly you remember it. Just like the more you want to sleep, the more you can't sleep... At this moment, Gu Xiaobai couldn't sleep. At nine o'clock in the morning, he was standing in the kitchen, in his pajamas, gnashing his teeth to open a bottle of red wine. The temperament of something like red wine, the way to drink it, and the way to drink it are different from Gu Xiaobai's current state no matter what. It is best to pair it with something like cheese, foie gras, and put on a classical record. In a quiet night, it makes sense to taste it slowly by yourself.

At nine o'clock in the morning, it is unheard of to open red wine in the kitchen with a grin. Then... the doorbell rang. Gu Xiaobai was furious, and with a cry in his heart, he slammed the cork out of the bottle. When he heard the doorbell, he panicked and spilled the wine all over the floor. The doorbell continued to ring. As if to say: "Open the door, open the door, open the door!" Gu Xiaobai walked to the door tremblingly—don't worry about the wine on the kitchen floor for now—and looked into the cat's eyes. Outside the door were Zuo Yongbang and Luo Shuquan. At nine o'clock in the morning, two people who should not be here at all appeared here.

And at the same time. Opening the door, Gu Xiaobai turned around and walked into the living room without looking at them.Behind them, Zuo Yongbang and Luo Shuquan looked at each other, then walked in together and closed the door.In the dimness, it seemed that Luo Shuquan quietly gave Zuo Yongbang ten yuan in frustration. "What do you mean?" Gu Xiaobai suddenly turned his head and looked at Luo Shuquan, "What did you give him? What are you doing sneakily?" "That's right," Zuo Yongbang explained with a smile, "Just now I came When I was looking for you, I happened to meet him in the corridor, and he happened to come to you. So we made a bet."

"A bet?" "He said you should be asleep, I said you should not be asleep, that's it, we bet..." "Ten yuan." Luo Shuquan said dejectedly. What a bunch of boring people. "Show me the ten yuan." Gu Xiaobai walked up to Zuo Yongbang and stared at him. Zuo Yongbang was stunned, and took out the banknotes.Gu Xiaobai didn't even look at it, he grabbed it and stuffed it into the pocket of his pajamas, walking back. "You all guessed wrong. I am not sleeping, nor did I not sleep. I just fell asleep, and then I had a nightmare, and I never fell asleep again."

"Nightmare?" "This dream started off really well. In the dream, my producer gave me one million dollars per episode..." "How many?!" "One million...you listen to me." Gu Xiaobai sat on the corner of the sofa and scratched his hair, "So I wrote five episodes at a fast speed, so what do I do with the five million? Of course I am I bought a big house in the city center! So I bought a house in a building in the city center..." "What a dream." Luo Shuquan said. "That's right here," Gu Xiaobai nodded, "From then on, the plot took a sharp turn for the worse. As soon as I moved in, I found out that the person living next door to me was Mo Xiaomin's ex-boyfriend."

On the side, Zuo Yongbang and Luo Shuquan glanced at each other and looked at each other, not knowing how to answer. "The neighbor next door to me is also Mo Xiaomin's ex-boyfriend." Gu Xiaobai continued, "The entire corridor, upstairs and downstairs, is full of Mo Xiaomin's ex-boyfriend. They also visit each other and have a very good relationship. , saw me live in, and welcomed me collectively...Hello! Welcome in!" Gu Xiaobai blindfolded in fear and screamed. "Not only that, even the security guards in the community, the property, and the people watching the cars in the underground garage are all Mo Xiaomin's ex-boyfriends, and the whole building is full of Mo Xiaomin's ex-boyfriends!!!"

Not only did the two of them not know what to say, they were already petrified. "I didn't take anything with me, I ran out of the community, only to find out that the name of this building is - ex-boyfriend. Developer: Mo Xiaomin..." Gu Xiaobai sat on the sofa, covering his face with his hands, obviously unable to extricate himself at the moment. "I've never had such a horrible nightmare in my life. I'm going to drink some wine to suppress the shock and go back to sleep..." "..." "Speaking of which..." Gu Xiaobai suddenly realized, "What are you two doing here?"

The two looked at each other. Luo Shuquan stretched out his hand, making an invitation gesture. "It's like this," Zuo Yongbang sat on the sofa and thought for a while, "I have encountered something, and I want to discuss it with you." "As long as it's not about the ex-boyfriend, it's easy to discuss." "Of course not." Zuo Yongbang pondered for a while again, "Do you still remember that I went on a date with a little girl a while ago, and then I was followed by Miqi?" "Yeah! Didn't you go to her house and give her too?"

"Of course not!" Zuo Yongbang also screamed incidentally, "Mi Qi is walking around outside the door, how could I do anything with that girl! I was so scared to death, in the house Burning incense and begging her to leave quickly!" "So... Mickey thinks you did it?" "Yes! No matter how I explain it, she doesn't believe it, so I just gritted my teeth and stomped my foot to say yes, and then I did it." It turned out to be like this, even if Gu Xiaobai and Luo Shuquan died, they would still be able to do this after being tortured. Facing Mickey, who was sure that he had done it, Zuo Yongbang gritted his teeth and stomped...

Admitting what has not been done. "So you've been in a cold war with her, right?" Although Gu Xiaobai was sleepy, he couldn't stop his smile. A schadenfreude smile. Because it's just too funny... "The problem is not here," Zuo Yongbang continued to explain distressedly, "The problem has been more than a month, and Mi Qi and I have not been in touch. She didn't call me, and I didn't call her—" Speaking of this, Zuo Yongbang Bang screamed again, "I didn't do it!!! But that's not the problem, the problem is that the little girl contacted me instead." "Wow..." Gu Xiaobai, Luo Shuquan and both praised in unison. Sure enough, as long as you are patient, you can watch the sun rise until the clouds open... "I want to look for her," Zuo Yongbang said, "then something must have happened this time, and then Mi Qi and I are almost finished. If I don't look for her, then Mi Qi won't come." Looking for me, because she insisted that I did it that day..." Zuo Yongbang raised his head and was dazed for a while, "Who am I playing? I...do you understand?" "ABSOLUTELY, YES..." Gu Xiaobai replied with an authentic London accent. There was a deathly silence in the house... The three men are quietly experiencing this moment. The absurdity of fate and life, such a great topic, is presented in such a cute way. This is the three men who have lived for decades, and they didn't expect it, right? "Then what do you want?" After a while, Gu Xiaobai asked. "I want to know that I'm still looking for you?" Zuo Yongbang said angrily. "Hmm..." Gu Xiaobai pondered for a while, "My suggestion is very inhumane, I wonder if you would like to listen to it?" "you say." "Since you and Mickey are so stiff with each other now, and you will still be so stiff in the unknown future, it's obviously not a problem, so..." Gu Xiaobai blinked and poured himself out. Drink a glass of wine, "I suggest you promise that girl, and you will really have something to do with her. Then it will really happen to you, and then you will really feel guilty and motivated, and then you can be emotional. Sincerely crying and begging to Mickey, I was wrong, please forgive me! I will never do it again! Isn’t this what she needs now? This is what you lack... Do you understand? " Zuo Yongbang stared blankly at Gu Xiaobai, unable to move for a long time. "You...you are such a genius..." "Next..." Gu Xiaobai waved his hand wearily, and turned to look at Luo Shuquan, "You all think of me as the aunt of the neighborhood committee, don't you?" "I...I'm fine." Luo Shuquan said innocently. "..." "I have a date with AMY at 2pm, I'm just bored and come up to have fun." "..." "Because it's true, it's boring right now..." Luo Shuquan said innocently. Like all men and women in the early stages of their relationship, Luo Shuquan feels that the time not being with his lover is long, boring, and cannot be passed away, and it is simply a waste of life.Luo Shuquan is currently in such a period. He and AMY made an appointment to see the car at two o'clock in the afternoon - AMY wanted to buy a car recently, so he asked Luo Shuquan to give advice.It is said that women only need a man's advice when buying bags and clothes. This is implying that it is best for the man to pay.But Luo Shuquan obviously couldn't afford the money for such a big deal as buying a car.As a programmer and an otaku who plays games all day, he is much poorer than the proprietress of a clothing store.In fact, AMY didn't mean to ask him to pay at all. Now that the matter was over, Luo Shuquan had no choice but to show a 120,000-percent solemn attitude.Luo Shuquan woke up at 8 o'clock in the morning this morning, and found that there were six years between 8 o'clock in the morning and 2 o'clock in the afternoon, so he had to go up to find Gu Xiaobai to dismiss him. visit.It was as if the earth revolved around the sun and circled the community five or six times before arriving at the 4S shop—during this period, he wanted to commit suicide several times, cut seppuku, hanged himself, and jumped off a building, but he was too tired to run up and down again. —What he didn't expect was... Listening to a car salesman babble in front of them for half an hour feels like half a lifetime. "It's better to commit suicide..." Luo Shuquan thought. "The front windows of this car are seamless, so there are no dead angles for viewing, and it is very safe. In addition, the chassis is also very thick, no matter what speed it reaches, it will rarely feel floating..." The suit was straight, as if comforting the dead The salesman said with a vague smile. "What do you think?" In the 4S store, AMY turned around and asked Luo Shuquan. "what?" "Don't worry," AMY laughed, "I didn't ask you to buy it as a gift for me. It's because I think about buying it myself. I'm asking for your opinion." "Mainly because you like it." "You have to like it too. You don't have a car. You have to sit next to me when we go out in the future, so... you try to sit in it?" Luo Shuquan opened the door tremblingly, and got into the co-pilot. A wonderful feeling arises spontaneously... From now on, I have to sit in the position of the co-pilot... Is he being guided in life? This feeling was quickly broken, because he suddenly found a man in the driver's seat, who was also trying to adjust the comfort of the seat. The two turned their heads to each other and smiled awkwardly at each other. This is a handsome man. Handsome with a trace of unruly, unruly with a bit of yuppie, Luo Shuquan almost wanted to call Gu Xiaobai to learn from him immediately. "Look at it...you're ashamed to death..." Luo Shuquan thought. The man next to him smiled at him, opened the door and went out, then stood up straight. Luo Shuquan, who was sitting under the hood, suddenly seemed to see... AMY on the other side also froze. Then... a wonderful dialogue came from the sky. "Hi... What a coincidence!" It was the man's voice. "Yeah, long time no see." AMY also laughed awkwardly. "It's been a long time. Are you okay?" "I'm fine, and you?" The voice is restrained, polite, distant, with infinite vicissitudes. If one of the interlocutors is not AMY, Luo Shuquan almost wants to sing. "I... came to... your city... walked the way you came... imagining... the days without me... how lonely you are..." It belongs to Eason Chan. But according to Luo Shuquan's subsequent thoughts, what he wanted to sing was another Cantonese version of "It's Better Not to See"... The same melody, actually filled in two words with completely different moods... Luo Shuquan really wanted to pull out that lyricist named Lin Xi and strangle his neck to ask what was going on. Just thinking about it, AMY seemed to suddenly think of something, pulled Luo Shuquan out, pulled her to her side, and faced the man. "Oh, by the way, this is my boyfriend, Luo Shuquan. This is Aiwen." He was indeed not mistaken, it was indeed the man who smiled at him just now. At this moment, he stretched out his hand and looked at the other party, with that faint smile still rippling on his face. "Hello." "Hello." Luo Shuquan also stretched out his hand and smiled calmly. Across the roof, the two hands shook like this. Suddenly, Luo Shuquan felt an indescribable hotness. Many years later, Luo Shuquan would recall the indifferent words AMY said to him when he left the 4S store that afternoon. "That was my first love." "Oh, first love!" Luo Shuquan pretended to be happy and said, "When you say that, I also think of my first love. At that time, when I was in college, there was always a girl sitting next to me when I was taking elective courses. She was so beautiful. At that time, I looked forward to taking elective classes every day, to be able to sit next to her, even to watch her. Of course I was afraid to talk to her, but I felt that I had been in a relationship for a whole semester, and this was me first love. What about you?" "My first time was given to him..." The woman next to her was silent for a while, then said something lightly. Sunny day in May... There was a lightning... "Satisfied?" A voice in his heart smiled mockingly. "Hate, hate, hate!" Even though he was over 30 years old, the voice in his heart still couldn't stop crying out. "Come on, please close your eyes now, because it's already dark..." At this time, Luo Shuquan was not the only one who was hot and dry. At the other end of the city, in a love hotel, Zuo Yongbang was sitting on the bed in a suit, facing the post-85 girl who hadn't had time to deal with it last time. Open your eyes, there are seven or eight boys and girls aged 16 or 17 sitting on a big double bed, all of whom are classmates of that girl.When Zuo Yongbang left Gu Xiaobai's house, he called the girl.The girl told him to go to the hotel, and he said a lot to Jesus along the way, but Jesus didn't answer him a word, and Jesus didn't say anything to him— The little girl told him to go to the love hotel to play... killing game... Zuo Yongbang's current mood is indeed to engage in a massacre. "Close your eyes, close your eyes!" There was an exasperated voice from a male student beside Zuo Yongbang. Zuo Yongbang closed his eyes, and when he opened them again. "You were killed." The voice said lightly. "Why is it me every time?! I was the first to be killed every time, and it has been dozens of times!" Zuo Yongbang had no time to engage in massacres, and what he wanted was something called fairness. "Probably because..." the girl named Waiwai on the opposite side said to him with a faint smile, "Everyone hates you, right?" "I hate you too." Zuo Yongbang said in his heart. Although he is over forty years old, the voice in his heart is still very cute and continues to yell. "Hate hate hate!" Gu Xiaobai was doomed to not sleep well this day, he returned to the bedroom, rolled up the quilt, his mind was full of the building where Mo Xiaomin's ex-boyfriend lived.He simply got up, went to the kitchen to make coffee, and drank it alone by the window sill.At this time, people in the city are working hard for their future, but at the same time they are deeply entangled in their past. In what way are the future and the past linked? Is it now? However, in essence, the concept of "now" does not exist.Because every "present" present will quickly become the past and accumulate. The future is unknown. The past has accumulated more and more. It’s like redemption of rewards with points. When you accumulate to a certain level in the past, God will give you a “big prize in life” or something like that, then… It is "ultimate liberation". "This is really a negative thought." Gu Xiaobai thought, whoever has such a nightmare can't stop thinking about things like this, right?Gu Xiaobai has also made many girlfriends. Those voices, laughter, and things like tombstones stand on the desolate land. Gu Xiaobai himself... Is he an ambitious designer full of blueprints for the future, or... just a cemetery keeper? Just think about it, and then... The doorbell rang again, and Gu Xiaobai got up to open the door. Seeing the same two mourning faces - Zuo Yongbang and Luo Shuquan. "Damn it! Has time turned back?!" After being stunned for a long time, Gu Xiaobai couldn't help crying. For Zuo Yongbang, time is an irreversible existence—of course, it is the same for everyone.But the reason why he realized this more deeply is that when the prank-like killing game was over, and the little beauties born in the 1985s drove away those seventeen and eighteen-year-old boys and girls, Zuo Yongbang was already tired on the bed. To be exhausted - the kind of exhaustion that anyone would feel exhausted after being killed dozens of times. "I don't want to die anymore..." Zuo Yongbang raised his foot and was about to leave. Then he was pushed down on the bed by a pair of small hands, a smiling face dangled in front of his eyes, those eyes were full of youthful smiles, and had the charm of a slut. "Then...shall I revive you?" The voice murmured with a smile beside his ear. Then, as if in a different dimension, Zuo Yongbang seemed to be separated from himself, and he couldn't stop watching his clothes being stripped off one by one, and the young body sat on him. At that moment, he thought of... Mickey. "I... can't go back, I can't go back." According to Xiaobai's words, I have the strength and the motivation to repent to beg Mi Qi, redeem her, and get back on track.Because in essence, I just did something that Micky saw as "in the past". It was something he had admitted to doing. But when all this was over, the girl went to the bathroom to take a bath full of vigor and satisfaction, and the sound of water came... Zuo Yongbang saw the clear pool of blood on the bed, and only then did he know that it was true... Can not go back…… "How could it be her first time?!" At Gu Xiaobai's house, Zuo Yongbang wailed at Gu Xiaobai, almost punching and kicking him. This option, in their plan...doesn't exist. "That's a good question. Please answer the opponent's debate. Why do you think it's impossible for her to be the first time? Is she already thirty?" After listening to Zuo Yongbang's explanation, Gu Xiaobai was probably in a bad mood, so he asked aggressively. I didn't even think about who came up with this extremely wicked idea. "No, probably less than twenty." "Well, less than twenty, that's only a little older than Xiaoxiao..." Gu Xiaobai shouted angrily, "Aren't you too inhuman?" "That's not the point?" "Oh, sorry I forgot...please go ahead..." "This, this, this, no matter how you look at her, you will know it if you have seen her. She has such a good figure, and she is also very fashionable. Her biggest hobbies are killing games and going to nightclubs. Her behavior is so trendy , how could it be the first time..." "Okay, let me point out a logical problem for you now." Gu Xiaobai thought for a while and said, "When we wrote the script, we had a common sense, which is the principle of basically everyone—especially women..." "principle?" "The principle," Gu Xiaobai nodded, "that is, when you create a character, the farther the appearance is from the inner, and the greater the contrast between the front and back, the more real and believable this person will be." "I'm sorry, I really don't understand." Zuo Yongbang said simply. Luo Shuquan beside him was already twitching intermittently. "Okay, I'll use vernacular..." Probably also eroded by guilt, Gu Xiaobai thought about it carefully, walked to the side and poured himself another glass of wine, "Woman, what kind of It is an animal with a serious lack of sense of security. In this world, what kind of method will many animals that feel that they will be invaded by nature at any time adopt to protect themselves?" "..." "Protective color." Gu Xiaobai asked himself and answered, "What is protective color? It is a disguise, it is something that prevents you from judging her inner self at a glance. That is to say, in most cases, a woman's external and internal It is seriously incompatible. If you see a woman who speaks softly and softly, maybe she is actually a tigress who can eat you to the bone, and stab you to death when she goes crazy. If you see a woman with a dull appearance and a conservative dress, she may be wilder than anyone else in her heart." "Wow……" The two admired, as if Columbus had discovered the New World. "It's all common sense. You can't judge a woman just by her appearance. Women like acting. Acting is a lifelong hobby for them. Do you understand?" "And then?" Zuo Yongbang looked confused. "And then? Then she dresses very trendy and likes to go to nightclubs, what does it mean? It just means that she wants others to think that she is a girl who likes to go to nightclubs, cynical, and has a casual attitude towards life, that's all." "Let me add a word..." Luo Shuquan had completely forgotten about his own affairs - because Zuo Yongbang's problem was obviously more serious than his, "Is she short-hearted?" "This is the impression she wants to leave on others." Gu Xiaobai sighed, "I don't know why, maybe she is very shy, maybe she was stimulated by something when she was a child, maybe she doesn't want to be bullied by others. But the crux of the problem is, I repeat, the crux of the problem is that a girl who likes to go to nightclubs does not mean that she is not a good girl, nor does she not mean she is not serious about her relationship. Similarly, a girl who likes to go to bookstores or grow flowers and plants at home alone does not mean that she is not a bad girl .Maybe you were killed by her, and she might use your body as fertilizer with a smile on her face. You can’t judge a woman by her appearance.” "Damn it, what should I do now?! I wanted to fall in love with her and get back together with Mickey without any regrets! So what should I do now?!" Gu Xiaobai thought for a while silently, it seemed that there was no more wicked way, so he had to... Get up, bow... "On behalf of all the residents of the community, I would like to express my condolences to you." "I was wrong, I deserve death, the problem is that I am now... life is worse than death..." "Sorry, I want to ask, is it my turn?" Three minutes later, Luo Shuquan asked out of the blue. "Huh? Why are you still here?" Gu Xiaobai turned his head in confusion and looked at him. "Nonsense! I waited until now. You just bowed and started playing with toys. I think there may be a second half, so I waited until now..." "Oh, I'm sorry." Gu Xiaobai sat back on the sofa, "What's your confusion?" "Do you have virginity complex?" Luo Shuquan asked abruptly. "what?" "Do you have a virginity complex?" "Why do you ask about this?" "Don't worry about why I ask, just answer me honestly." "Virgin complex means caring about whether your girlfriend is a virgin. Is that what you mean?" Looking at him warily, Gu Xiaobai asked cautiously. "The answer is correct, plus ten points, is there?" "There used to be, but not now." "why?" "I used to be young, so I didn't understand..." "to be honest!" "Okay, to be honest." Gu Xiaobai spread his hands, "I used to be young, so the possibility of meeting virgins was high. Now that the society is open, the girls I meet are not seventeen or eighteen years old, but all in their twenties and thirties. Plus I am not a good thing myself, the same world, the same dream, if I continue to compete on this issue, I am not making myself uncomfortable..." This is indeed a big truth... Luo Shuquan suddenly picked up a cushion and covered his face, crying. "Speaking of my sore spot..." "Which sentence?" Looking at Gu Xiaobai's blank eyes, Luo Shuquan removed the cushion and burst into tears. "You don't know... I thought I didn't have either. AMY is twenty-five or sixty years old. How could it be impossible? I didn't expect it at all. It's not a matter of expecting or not. So I thought I didn't..." "Don't go around in circles! Go on!" The two cursed in unison. "But you didn't see the way AMY looked at that man, that affectionate, that frozen frame, that moment that turned into eternity..." time stands still... Both Zuo Yongbang and Gu Xiaobai secretly thought about it... "The moment becomes eternity" - what a strange thing. Just now I was saying that there is no "this moment", but in a blink of an eye, "this moment" has become such an existence as "eternity". "Just imagine, imagine," Luo Shuquan said persuasively, "close your eyes..." "I'm not closed!" Zuo Yongbang cried. "Damn! No one told you to shut up!" Luo Shuquan said angrily... Turning to Gu Xiaobai. "Go back more than ten years ago, when you were pure...you saw the girl you liked for the first time, you walked, you talked, you kissed for the first time. You cried, you laughed, and then until one day , you are attracted to another girl and you dump her mercilessly. Wait until you understand that it was just a moment of passion, that person will never come back. Ten years later, now she is standing in front of you, looking at you ...Okay, open your eyes..." Slowly opening his eyes, Gu Xiaobai's eyes were full of tears. "Understood?" Luo Shuquan took a deep breath. "That's how she sees him." Time... stood still again. "You have to think like this..." Half a minute later, Gu Xiaobai shook his body like a dog, "Who hasn't passed, right? It's because AMY has such a one, two, three, four, and I don't know what to do." Knowing several boyfriends made her who she is now...and the one you met and fell in love with is the current her. In other words, the reason why she is her is made up of those people in the past, otherwise you would not love fuck her..." "..." "Do you understand what I mean?" "You are pure sophistry." Luo Shuquan protested, "According to what you said, why do everyone think virgins are so good? It symbolizes purity, kindness, and beauty? Look at him—" Luo Shuquan turned his finger to Zuo Yongbang. "Don't look at me, I got the lottery accidentally. I don't know what to do?" "You see, it's because it's his first time, so he doesn't know what to do." "What's your point?" After talking for so long, Gu Xiaobai finally became confused. "I just want to say, do you mind the love history of your former girlfriend?" This is the crux of the problem. "I don't mind." Gu Xiaobai turned his head and asked Zuo Yongbang, "What about you?" "I am the one who created history." With a tragic mood, Zuo Yongbang replied bitterly. "Do you really not mind?" Luo Shuquan turned to Gu Xiaobai and took a step forward, "Do you not mind how many men you are Mo Xiaomin? You may not mind the second or third man, but you really don't mind Mind if it's the twentieth or the thirtieth?" "I've lost my face!" Gu Xiaobai said as expected. "You see, here is the problem. We may not be able to count on being our girlfriend's first boyfriend." Luo Shuquan said, "It's not that I don't want to, it's that we can't count on it. But you still can't stand that she had many men before you. ——Otherwise you wouldn’t have such a nightmare. As you said, it represents history. What is history? History has happened and will exist forever. Especially for the first time, for girls Say... How were girls educated when we were young? For girls, for the first time, how precious is chastity, and you must cherish it. You think, she can give such a precious thing to that man, which shows that the man is What is the weight in his heart? Plus her eyes today..." "..." "Now do you understand? I'm not fighting with one person, I'm fighting with the memory of more than ten years. Even if I've been with her for ten years, her memory of that person will become more than twenty years. I have been with her for twenty years, and her memory is more than thirty years old, and I will never be able to defeat her memory." After speaking, Luo Shuquan sat there with bleak eyes, and the other two were also silent.Time passed by every second, and it was becoming a new history in the blink of an eye. Suddenly Luo Shuquan stood up and walked out silently. "Where are you going?" Gu Xiaobai asked. "Since it's doomed not to win, I don't want to fight anymore..." After finishing speaking, Luo Shuquan walked out the door helplessly. What kind of existence is a person's love history?Before a person meets the other person—as I said just now—it is a TA that is forged by countless (or countable) "others". TA's habits, patterns, mentality, lifestyle, the details of turning off the lights, and the habit of spending money are all shaped by TA bit by bit—either intentionally or unintentionally. The problem is, so does the other side. In this way, a shocking conclusion is inevitably drawn. When a person meets another person, meets, moves, falls in love... In fact, it is not a love affair between one person and another. It's a group of people in love with another group of people. What a... how…… how…… terrible thing... Just close your eyes and think about it, it feels like you are in the depths of an endless nightmare. When Zuo Yongbang was driving the car, wandering around the whole city, the faces of the girl and Mickey appeared alternately in front of him, complementing each other, as if to remind him of something.At this time, the phone rang, and Mi Qi, who hadn't called him for so many days, appeared on the phone. "Do you have time, I want to talk to you..." The voice on the phone sounded both strange and familiar. Zuo Yongbang hung up the phone and drove the car silently. The rain... finally started to fall. It was a heavy rain. "What's wrong?" The door opened, and Luo Shuquan's dull and numb face appeared in front of AMY, "You? Why are you here? Didn't you say you were unwell and went home first?" Looking at AMY, Luo Shuquan didn't speak, and looked at her like - he was - a dog that was soaked through. "Come in quickly, what's the matter with you... why don't you bring an umbrella?" After finishing speaking, AMY turned around to find a towel for Luo Shuquan. "I lent you the umbrella last time, and it has been kept here with you." "You... didn't come to my house to get an umbrella?!" Luo Shuquan smiled helplessly and shook his head, letting AMY rub his hair lovingly. I... I love her very much! How could the relationship that was just beginning be defeated so easily by the past... However, I have always felt the frustration deeply, feeling it in the slightest. AMY didn't notice this at all, turned around and hung up the towel, picked up the car DM sheet next to him and said cheerfully. "I was researching just now. Do you think we should buy the standard configuration or the high configuration? In fact, the high configuration is not very interesting, but the chair with warm seat is still quite good." Luo Shuquan still looked at her blankly. "You... what's wrong with you? Are you okay? Are you feeling better? Do you want to see a doctor?" "No, I just want to see you." "Why? You can't bear to see me just because you haven't seen me for a long time?" "AMY, let's break up." Luo Shuquan said. "Why?" At this time, in a 24-hour tea house, Mi Qi, who had the same numb and cold expression, asked the same question coldly, facing Zuo Yongbang who was also at a loss. "This...the situation here is very complicated..." The person on the other side couldn't tell. "I'll listen to it no matter how complicated it is, and I have plenty of time, so tell me." So, Luo Shuquan spoke up.Until he finished speaking, AMY still looked at him blankly. "Sorry, I didn't understand, please say it again." "Today, we met your first boyfriend...the way you look at him...I think you still can't forget him." "What kind of eyes do I see in him?!" AMY finally exclaimed. When Luo Shuquan was asked this question again, he turned his head and wanted to find Gu Xiaobai and Zuo Yongbang to imitate, but unfortunately there was none, so he turned his head resentfully, "It's just...it's..." "What the hell are you thinking?!" "I just think you've always had him in your heart. He was the first man to conquer you, like the first time he climbed a mountain and put a flag on it. Then he left, and the next person to climb this mountain , will see the flag. To them, and to me, I'm just a tourist..." "Watch...sightseeing?" AMY looked at him as if he had never known him. The two just looked at each other. I don't know how long I watched... "I understand." AMY sighed deeply, "You want to break up with me because you are not my first man, is that what you mean?" "You can say that...but it doesn't seem to be..." "My past has nothing to do with you." AMY finally cried out, "Do you understand?! Before I met you, my experience has nothing to do with you." He was still reluctant, as if he had completed a proof question with the other party, "But the past will affect the present." "I'll say it again, my past has nothing to do with you." AMY looked at him, motionless, "I never expected to meet you, know you, but the one who met you and liked you—is me now." "Look, you proved my words again." Luo Shuquan said with a little complacency. "What are you talking about?!" "You said your past had nothing to do with me, but if it had nothing to do with me, how could you like me now?" 如果这事不是和自己有密切关系，他简直忍不住要为自己的清晰逻辑跳起来鼓掌。 “你到底知不知道你在说什么？” “我自己也有点晕……” “不用麻烦了，行，我同意。”对面的人死死地看着罗书全，起身，走到柜子前，拿出一把伞递还给他，“就这样吧，走吧。” “啊？就这么走啦？” 这……这不是我想看到的答案啊。 ——我想看到的是…… ——想听到的是…… ——你告诉我，我对你有多重要，是超越其他的，重要的，存在啊…… ——这才是……TMD……处女情结最重要的原因啊…… 从这个角度上来说，每个女人的“处男情结”才是更严重的吧。 相较来说，男人比较在乎的是这个女人在不在自己身边，而女人更在乎的是自己在这个男人心里是不是……真正的唯一。 但如果因为这样，就说罗书全不是个男人——也太粗暴了吧。 “你不想解释什么吗？”罗书全吃吃地问。 “对不起，我是一座山，山是不会解释什么的，你观光已经观光完了，走吧。”但是，山明明讲话了…… “走啊！”AMY拿着伞，红着眼大吼道。 眼睛里……分明是……泪水吧。 山也是不会流眼泪的。 像泪水一般的雨点打在边上的玻璃窗上，米琪看着左永邦，想笑，但实在笑不出。 “我曾经设想过无数次，你来跟我分手的理由。”米琪终于笑起来，“但我实在没想到，打死我也没想到——你要跟我分手，是因为你是一个负责任的好男人。” “因为你上了另一个女孩，你要为她负责。” “请你不要讽刺我。” “讽刺你？我们半个月没联系，因为我不相信你没跟她有过，但你坚持没有。好，我决定相信你，于是我打电话给你，但是你现在告诉我，你为了心态很好地来请求我原谅，所以你跟她去上床了。然后你发现她是处女，然后你来跟我分手，请问是谁在讽刺谁呢？” 眼泪终于流下来了，结合着笑容。 左永邦发现自己还是爱她的……可是…… 奇异地，自己怎么想为另一个女孩负责呢？ 因为那代表自己更像个负责全部蓝图设计的建筑师，而不是半途加入的意外分子。 逃难一般地离开了AMY的家，罗书全到了楼下，仰望着那一扇窗户，不知道事情怎么会莫名其妙地到了这个地步。早上一起去买车的时候，和现在好像身处在两个宇宙，另一个宇宙里的他们还相亲相爱地在一起，依偎在窗前数着雨滴。而此刻，在大楼下淋得像条狗一样的自己究竟是在哪里呢，在哪一个宇宙呢…… 那样一个孤独的宇宙，还有谁和他在一起呢…… 他转过头。 同样在瓢泼大雨中淋着，仰望着那扇窗户的人是…… AMY的初恋。 “我是她第一个男朋友，她也是我第一个女朋友。十几年前，我们第一次在学校的食堂遇见，她坐在我对面，一边吃饭一边心不在焉。我看着她的样子，就想上去捏捏她的脸。我不知道她的名字，只知道她的性别。突然之间，我觉得自己坠入爱河。我就走上去，对她说了一声，同学，这个菜是不是有点咸？” 瓢泼大雨中，两个男人遇见，瑟缩地寒暄…… 以后…… AMY的初恋对罗书全伤感地诉说他们的过去。 “你说话好押韵啊？你是不是写歌的？” 听这样一个男人说了一通后，罗书全浑然忘了立场，腆着脸问。 “她看着我，露出可爱的笑脸……”初恋不管他，继续说道，“晚饭后，我约她一起到图书馆看书。她看着书，我看着她，我知道我的人生将翻开新的一页。我们一起散步，我们一起做作业。我在学校常青藤下第一次吻她，她哭着说她这个吻已经保留了二十年。我抱着她，说今后八十年，我也将拥有它的归属权……” 罗书全仰天发呆，雨点这样打落下来。 好想作曲喔。 “那时候，我青春懵懂，是个发春的少年。我满脑子想的是，怎么把这个我最心爱的女孩弄上床。她却说她还想做几年小女孩，但是耐不住我软磨硬泡，终于在一个雷电交加的晚上，她献出了她的初夜。她对我说，今后她将一生爱我，永远在我的身边，当时我感到好幸福。三个月后我却在想，难道我这辈子只能有这样一个女人，从此充满怨念……” "..." “然后我开始疏远她，借口功课忙，借口考试紧，借口我老妈生了重病。终于有一天，我们挥泪告别。我心里面却高兴得要命，我终于自由啦！然后我就开始交一个个女朋友，不断地换着身边的女人。直到有一天我开始明白，我在找的只是她的影子。我一直以为我早把她抛到了九霄云外。今天早上我们遇见，我才真正确定，”初恋转过头，看着罗书全，“十几年来我来没忘记过。” "what?" “我也开始想忍，但是我打电话给她，我跟她讲了无数我们在一起时的情节，求她能不能再次回到我的身边，你猜她对我说什么？”初恋化身美好的男子转过头，悲愤地说。“她说她现在很幸福，她说我记性真好，这个记性用在别的地方一定很有前途！” “啊？这么绝情啊？” 这个时候，罗书全已经完全忘了自己是谁，以及为什么站在这里。 "yes!" 两个人同仇敌忾起来…… “我一直以为她和我一样，从来没有忘记过我。”初恋凄楚地说，“谁知道，我现在才知道，女人和男人真的不一样。她们有了新欢，对旧爱就再也视而不见。不管他是出了车祸，得了绝症，还是死在她面前，她都可以当没看见。我真的想不到女人怎么会这么绝……” “真是太绝情了！”罗书全愤怒得浑身发抖。 “我在这里站了一个晚上了，我看到你走进去，又走出来，她居然可以绝到派你下来安慰我！还能再绝一点吗？！” “啊？我不是下来安慰你的啊。” 发现事情完全不对劲的罗书全终于反应过来，迎着瓢泼大雨，撇下身边的男人，冲上楼去。带着悔意，呼呼喘着气，爬上那一层楼梯，敲着那扇门…… “Sorry，Sorry，请开门！” 换来的只有一句…… "roll!" 以及里面爆发而出的哭声。 历史由每一个昨天和相伴我们的人组成。因为这些昨天，这些人，变成现在的我，现在的你。男人选择记住，因为他们无法承受被遗忘的痛苦。女人选择遗忘，因为她们无法承受记忆的重量。当一切轻装上阵，过往一切，每一个恋人，每一个过去，都像一块块墓碑，存在于那里。铭刻的每一个名字，在心中死去，在另一个人身边复活…… 夜店里，左永邦终于在拥挤的群魔乱舞般的人群中，找到了那个为他献出初夜的女孩子，兴高采烈地用日语宣布——“我回来啦！” “啊？”对方用一种完全不知道发生了什么事的眼神呆呆地看着他。 “我和她分手啦！”左永邦进一步解释，“以后你的人生我来照顾！” “你和谁分手啦？” “我原来的女朋友啊……” "Huh? Why?" “因为……”左永邦像看外星人一样看着她，奇怪自己竟然还要跟她解释这个问题，“因为……白天那个是你第一次啊！” “那个……不是啊。”对方用更奇怪的眼神回看他。 “那……”左永邦更困惑起来，“是啥？” “大姨妈啊！” 对方朝自己伸出中指，狠狠地比了比，好像是对左永邦的嘲弄，更好像因为左永邦给她的加冕是一种耻辱。 不管是什么…… 左永邦明白了…… 自己回不去了，因为他不断地用一个错，去加盖了另一个错，结局就是搞成现在这个样子。 好在，现在也马上变成过去…… 只是……再也没有米琪的过去。 其实，无论念念不忘还是开创历史，一切只是在静静发生，按照我们自以为是的逻辑推进。再也回不去，如此而已。 然而，每一个和你相处过的瞬间，都会成为永恒的瞬间，静止在另外一个空间—— 熠熠闪光。 每一个对现在失意、对未来迷惘的时刻，抬头仰望那些闪烁的如同星光一般的瞬间，都会让你鼓起勇气—— 走下去。