Chapter 13 Chapter.10 2003 Summer Solstice·Reed·Short Matsuoka

In the coffee bar, Qiqi sat in a quiet corner, leaning against the floor-to-ceiling windows on the street.Seeing Li Xia walk in, she stood up and waved to Li Xia. The Qi Qi in front of her is young and beautiful, but when Li Xia sat down, she couldn't even tell how she felt.The last sentence she said on the phone, "I have Fu Xiaosi's child in my stomach" still echoed in her mind.This sentence was like a spell, instantly depriving Li Xia of his vocal cords, he opened his mouth, but made no sound. After opening his mouth many times, the sentence "when..." suddenly appeared in the air.Lixia himself felt ridiculous when he heard it, it was completely like another person talking. "When did it happen?" Thinking about this sentence carefully, Li Xia felt dirty.

"It was at the release ceremony of the third painting collection of "Island". At that time, you went to Wuhan ahead of schedule. That night, I happened to meet Xiao Si for a drink. He was worried about plagiarism, so he drank too much," Qi said. Qi lowered his head, and couldn't hear the tone of his words, "And that day... I also drank too much, so we went to the hotel together..." "Enough." He didn't want to hear any more.There was a wave of nausea in my heart. "Li Xia, do you hate me?" Qiqi raised her head, tears were already in her eyes.

Li Xia looked at her, his heart went blank.Do you hate Qiqi?Or should he hate Fu Xiaosi?Or hate no one?Or, should I hate myself? "Then... child, what are you going to do? Kill it?" When he said these words, Li Xia suddenly hated himself extremely.Such words were actually spoken from his own mouth, at that moment Li Xia hated himself so much.But isn't it too cruel to say the sentence "are you born?" calmly? "Li Xia," Qi Qi's hand covered the back of her own, it was icy cold, "Can I give birth? Maybe you don't know, I, like Fu Xiaosi for seven years."

At that moment, Lixia heard the sound of something falling from a high place, falling into his heart and smashing into pieces.The shards of glass all over the heart are dazzling, reflecting chaotic light.And after that, it was as if someone squeezed his heart hard, and all those fragments were deeply inserted into the heart. Is it painful?I can't even describe the pain. This is no longer a drunken thing.This is no longer a purely physical affair.Li Xia looked at Qi Qi and thought desperately, now you tell me that you have liked him for seven years, so what is it?And what am I? "Lixia, please," Qiqi's hands were as cold as ice, "let me give birth. I like Xiaosi no less than you. If you are willing to give it to me, I swear you will." He is happy. If you don't want to, it doesn't matter, I will quietly raise the child, just treat it as a gift from Xiao Si..."

"Stop it," Li Xia suddenly stood up, pointing at the tearful Qiqi, "Cheng Qiqi, I have never hated you, never before, not now, and never in the future, but if you want to continue talking If I go down, I will feel very sick." Even Li Xia was very surprised that he would say these words so calmly, who was the one who was hurt, Qi Qi and herself, who was crying face to face?Even Lixia himself was a little confused. "I'm sorry, don't be angry," Qiqi panicked, pulling Lixia to sit down, "I don't mean to show off." Li Xia looked at Qiqi in front of him, yes, you never thought of showing off, it's because you have been better than others in everything since you were a child, and you don't need to show off at all.

Wiping away her tears, Qi Qi sat up a little straighter, looked at Li Xia, thought about it for a while, and then said word by word, Li Xia, have you thought about Xiao Si's current situation?I can help him through his current predicament.For example, I can ask the company to find Xiao Si to endorse one or two public service advertisements with me, and I can ask the company to cooperate with Litong Media to block negative news about Xiao Si. Everyone knows that the biggest enemy of Litong Media is my company Huali Records what.Lixia, there are far more things I can do than what you can do for him.

Lixia stood up and threw Qiqi's hand away.She said, let me think about it.Then he turned and walked out of the cafe. Seeing Li Xia's figure disappear outside the gate, Qi Qi took out her mobile phone and dialed the number. Dr. Liu, please arrange for the abortion operation I made last appointment for next week.sorry to bother you. When I walked out of the coffee shop, tears flowed down my face in an instant. Qiqi, I never hated you before, and I don't now.What I hate is myself.I hate myself who can't do anything. All kinds of things appeared in Li Xia's mind chaotically, all pictures, all sounds, even some specific smells appeared in Li Xia's mind, Li Xia almost squatted on the side of the road and vomited.My stomach hurts and I sit on the road, the spring wind is still very cold.Lixia suddenly thought that vomiting is not what Qiqi should do now, Yu Jing laughed out loud.

Those smiles with tears rolling down are probably the most unforgettable smiles in this life. When he returned to the studio, Fu Xiaosi had already come out of the bathroom.The newly changed clothes exude a clean laundry detergent smell. However, is Xiao Si still clean now? Li Xia looked at Xiao Si who was sitting motionless on the sofa, the tears welling up in his eyes were not seen by anyone in the dark.I used to think that Xiao Si was like an angel, even kissing him would make me very nervous, and I even felt that this would dirty this clean and beautiful boy, but now, my good friend since I was a child, told me that she has It was the child of the man in front of him who he thought was an angel.

Li Xia forced himself not to think about the intimate scenes of Xiao Si and Qi Qi, but those images kept popping up in his mind, Fu Xiao Si's smell, Qi Qi's smooth skin, Fu Xiao Si never let people The hair she caressed casually, Qiqi's carefully cared for hands... everything was entangled, and even Fu Xiaosi's deep breathing and Qiqi's moans could be heard, and the nausea feeling in her stomach became stronger and stronger.Li Xia tightly shut his mouth, afraid that he could not help but spit it out. Xiao Si, when I went to Wuhan, you and Qiqi went drinking. Ok. one word.Very ordinary tone.I have been used to his "um" since high school.But at present, it is still only possible to get this word.It seems that so many years of feelings have not made him change himself.It used to be a word of um, and it still is.

Then the hotel that Qiqi took you to? Yes, what are you asking about these past things! The impatient tone, the look of disgust, these things are like thumbtacks scattered on the heart, being trampled into the heart one by one. Nothing... I just chatted with Qi Qi, just asking... Are you still worried about Lu Zhiang? I don't feel like talking right now!Don't bother me anymore! You don't bother me anymore. I won't.I'll bother you again. The tears that flowed all night have come to an end.Now the eyes are so dry that nothing comes out.Li Xia packed his luggage, and put the things he was used to in the studio into the bag by the way.

The fountain pen I'm used to using is Koji High School's fountain pen. The calculator that I am used to, was bought by Xiao Si with me. The white cup I'm used to is a pair with Xiao Si's blue cup. I used the seat cushion I was used to, with Xiao Si's favorite Sonic on it. I really want to take all the things I can take away, but my bag is not big enough.If I had known that one day I would leave silently like this, if I had known that one day you would tell me "don't bother me again", I would have bought a very big bag, big enough to hold all the memories, Fit a desk chair, or even a queen bed.Like a snail, carry your own house and go somewhere else.Go all the way, take your own home all the way. Li Xia quietly opened Fu Xiaosi's door, and the moonlight just shone on Fu Xiaosi's sleeping face.Two tear stains still hung on his handsome and thin face. Li Xia looked at Fu Xiaosi's sleeping face.Two tear stains still hung on his handsome and thin face.Lixia looked at Fu Xiaosi's sleeping face, and tears flowed down again.At first I thought that there was nothing to shed from my eyes, but now, tears flooded my eyes again. Xiao Si, I really want to say goodbye to you seriously.I really want to hold you and cry, and then leave, even if in my future life, there will be no Fu Xiaosi, the three words I thought were the most important in the world, let me lie on your shoulders before leaving It's okay to cry bitterly last night.In those movies, novels, and stories, all those who have loved each other seriously will have the saddest parting.However, I didn't expect that the last sentence between us was actually what you said to me, "Don't bother me anymore". Every time I think of this, I can't stop being sad. Xiao Si, when you said these words, didn't you feel that I would be sad?When I used to do anything, I always thought, will Xiao Si be unhappy if I do this?Because I used to be in my life, I really felt that Fu Xiaosi, the you in front of me, the handsome but cold-faced person standing in front of me like this, is my whole and only world. Until now, I still think so, but I need to add "once" in front of it.The only world that was all I had— In 2005, the Lixia train left Beijing. Li Xia sat by the car window, the whistle blew.Lixia left without telling anyone.Didn't even tell you when you met. Get the phone, find Qiqi's number, and send a short message: "Please take care of Fu Xiaosi. Please." Then Li Xia took out the SIM card from the phone and threw it out the window. A metallic luster flashed in the air.From now on, no one in the world can find Lixia again. It's like Li Xia has never existed in this world. After Yu Yu couldn't find Lixia on the phone for three days, she ran to the studio.At first, I thought there was no one there, it was dark, and the lights were off, but the door was unlocked. It wasn't until I turned on the fluorescent light that I saw Fu Xiaosi sitting in the corner. A mustache grows jaggedly over the chin and lips.The hair is up in disorder. Xiaosi...how are you... Fu Xiaosi raised his head and looked at Yuyu for a long time, then suddenly rushed over, grabbed Yuyu's hand, tears streaming down his face, "Meet, did you see Lixia? Didn't you see Lixia?" Have you seen Lixia? Have you seen Lixia? When I came back from Fu Xiaosi, I met him and couldn't figure out why Lixia suddenly disappeared.Just now he said that he promised to help him find Lixia, so he coaxed Fu Xiaosi to sleep.Fu Xiaosi fell into a deep sleep three minutes after falling down. It must have been many days without sleep.Encountered a slight pain in my heart.She couldn't even believe that the haggard, stubble-faced man just now was Fu Xiaosi, who was like the prince back then.Therefore, Yu Yu couldn't bear to tell him that now the whole city of Beijing is covered with Lu Zhiang's head portrait.The whole city. Time has changed too much.It seems that only a moment has passed, but eight years have actually passed. Asakawa No. 1 Middle School in 1995, and the streets of Beijing in 2003.It's like two different worlds with different spaces. Yu Yu looked up, and the moon hung high in the sky, casting silvery light on the world. It never knows the joys and sorrows in the world, but it puts on a face that will be cloudy and sunny, causing more loneliness in every lonely moment. When climbing up the last flight of stairs, Yu met and saw Duan Qiao sitting in front of his house.He had a hesitant look on his face.And I can't tell if it's a frustrated or sad expression. At that moment, I saw the cruel profile of the future, and a gust of wind blew through my heart, making a hollow sound. Duan Qiao said, met, the school gave me a place...Cambridge University... The heart suddenly sank to the surface of the water, and then the sadness of crescent moon surfaced. Is it…… going to...eight years... Such a long time.It's like traveling through countless worlds.The years are monotonous.But life is thinner. yes.Eight years later, I will be thirty years old. Met, you said, should I go? go.You can go to Cambridge to study your favorite architecture. Isn't this what you have been looking forward to? That's because I used to think that it would never come true, that's why I'm nagging in front of you every day... Oh, it's not the same.It's done now, you should be happy. Then... will you wait for me? Will you wait for me?Such questions, like those fallen leaves floating on the river surface, if they are not answered, will forcibly sink to the bottom of the river, and then will be gradually covered by yellow sand, buried by silt, and become a piece of land in the earth's crust that will never be found again. until the earth's crust changes, revealing the hard veins of fossils.The once yellow leaves have long since become stiff traces in the stone. Do you need me to wait for you? ...eight years...is it long or short? ...There is no need to wait.At that time, I should have met someone I liked. What do you think? Ok.If you meet such an outstanding child, you will definitely be pursued by countless boys. Ok.may be.Maybe I will go back to Asakawa to look for Qingtian. ……Is it. Maybe.Or not.I do not know either. Yuyu felt that another self was talking all the time, separated from his body, and his soul was suspended above his head, and he looked down at the parting in front of him, as if it had nothing to do with him, but the tears of the soul had no shape , So, no matter how sad you cry, there are only slight fluctuations in the air. You can't see it. I open the door, you go in for a while.I want to take a walk in the street.met said. Duan Qiao watched the back of the person he met disappear into the lower stairs, and the footsteps became farther and farther away.For a minute he sat blankly in the dark. Then he stood up suddenly and ran downstairs. Met, at the moment you walked downstairs, I was more afraid of losing you than ever. When your footsteps became farther and farther away, I was so afraid that I would not see you again. At that moment, I really felt, what Cambridge, what doctorate, what bright future, these, compared with the time with you, are so thin that I feel ridiculous.During the time with you, you taught me so many things.Including the courage to face setbacks, including dealing with happiness, including love, these things you taught me, I can't learn no matter where I am. So, to hell with that Cambridge. Meet and marry me! marry me! After Yu met walked out of the corridor, he started to run, faster and faster, as if a train of fire was rumbling in his body. The surrounding crowd quickly backed up behind them.At this moment, Lixia's smile is in my mind.Lixia, I really want to see you, where are you?Where are you? The roadside produce shop emits a warm light, thick cotton curtains.These are all like insignificant smoke, blowing past him.His name sounded behind him, it was Duan Qiao's call. What do you think is the point of chasing me now? The hand was pulled from behind, and he was pulled back to the sidewalk when he was about to cross the road.Turning his head away, he stretched out his hand and slapped the person behind him. At that moment, he let go of his hand, and Duan Qiao's teary face was in front of him. Yu Yu turned around and ran towards the opposite side of the road, but didn't see clearly whether it was a red light or a green light. At that moment, Yu Yu really felt that it didn't matter whether the light was red or green.Isn't it often like this in movies, during the breakup, the jilted heroine dies on the way.Like a blooming blood lotus. However, God will never be like those crappy TV shows.Yu Yu rushed to the opposite side of the road, raised his head and found that it was indeed a red light, but didn't he also rush over safely. The tears could not be held back any longer, dripping down the back of his hand.The hand covering his mouth was too hard, and his jaw ached. Just as I was about to continue on the road, there was suddenly a sharp sound of brakes behind me, and the sound of a blunt object hitting. Looking back, there was a long brake mark on the ground. A large truck was lying in the middle of the road. The big red windbreaker, the blood slowly flowing out from under the windbreaker, gradually spread. Like the most beautiful blood lotus in the center of the city. 2003 passed in the blink of an eye. After many heavy snowfalls, Beijing has once again become covered in snow. It's almost New Year's Eve again.There are often children setting off firecrackers on the street, and the ground is full of the pungent sulfur smell of shredded red paper. A little girl wearing a red scarf took her mother's hand and walked across the pedestrian bridge. When passing by a beggar, she casually threw a dime in her hand into the bowl in front of the beggar. Mom, the eyes of that beggar just now are so beautiful, big and bright, like the eyes of a movie star. Don't talk nonsense, kid.What's so nice about a beggar.Dad is the best looking. The beggar put away the basin in front of him and walked slowly down the bridge.I couldn't see it when I was sitting on the ground, but when I stood up, I realized that it was so bright.Plugged figure, deep facial features.It's a bit outrageous to be young. My legs hurt so much when I walked down the bridge.Especially in winter.Since autumn, because I have been sleeping under bridge holes, roadsides, and sewers.The knees are starting to become more and more sensitive.When the weather gets colder or it rains or snows, the bones will feel cloudy and painful. It has been half a year, and I walked past that exquisite shop by the side of the road, and the person in the glass window was a man with a beard, a tattered dress, and long tangled hair, which was already full of greasy hair.There is more greasy on the clothes, a thick layer.However, no matter how thick and greasy it is, it can't resist the cold in winter.I learned a lot of skills from other homeless people on the roadside, such as how to stuff waste paper into clothes to keep warm, how to dig out edible things in the trash can without spoiling the stomach, and how to find food that looks cold but is actually cold. There is no need to spend the night in a place where the cold wind is blowing, where the pedestrian bridge is easy to get money. These are things taught to him by those people who met by chance. On the roadside billboard, there is a big boy's sunny smile. The whole road is full of this big boy's smile. The beggar stared at the billboard for a long time, attracting the attention of passers-by around him. He realized that I was too eye-catching, so I quietly turned into a small alley. On the billboard is a boy with a warm smile but foggy eyes.He is now the best-selling painter in China.He stood quietly under a camphor tree, wearing a black and white uniform, carrying a schoolbag, and waited quietly.And behind him, is the rising sun, or the slowly setting sun—— Fu Xiaosi's 2004 masterpiece, the last splendor of the pen seal,!National FireWire listed! All the latest bestsellers were displayed at the entrance of Xinhua Bookstore, and many girls gathered at the entrance, flipping through that book in their hands.Later, when they saw a beggar approaching, they were so frightened that they hurriedly took their books to pay the bill, and then hurried away. On the afternoon of a sunset approaching the New Year, a beggar was flipping through a painting album at the entrance of Xinhua Bookstore.People around are pointing and pointing, feeling very strange.However, the beggar didn't know it at all. Everyone watched him turn the pages, and then the beggar started to cry strangely. Xiao Ruan, a clerk of Xinhua Bookstore, just graduated from university and was assigned to do an internship. He just sorted out the books on the shelves and didn't know what happened at the door. He didn't run out until he heard a heart-piercing cry whats the matter. He was a beggar, wearing tattered clothes and bare feet. In winter, his feet were frozen and damaged. He was flipping through a painting album that had just been released. The hand he was holding the painting album was too hard, and the knuckles of his fingers were numb. Turned pale, and his throat seemed to be crying like a roar.This kind of crying often belongs to children, and children who see lost toys or candies often cry like this. Xiao Ruan wanted to tell him to put the book down, but she didn't dare to go up.So tall, and so strong, it was frightening. So the police were called. When the police arrived, the beggar was still crying.At the beginning, the police didn't pay much attention, thinking it was a lunatic, and planned to coax him away.But when he got closer, he was pushed to the ground suddenly, his feet stepped on his face, and his hands were tied behind his back. Xiao Ruan didn't understand a bit. The beggar trampled on the ground by the police boots was a bit pitiful, but he didn't struggle at all. He just kept crying, crying all the time. The heart-piercing cry of a big man touched Xiao Ruan's heart. Feeling sad for a while.Xiao Ruan felt that this was simply too much. Little girl, you are too simple, do you know who he is?Take a look at the notice posted on the wall by the side of the road. The beggar was taken away in everyone's sight.Xiao Ruan walked to the side of the road and looked at the wanted poster on the wall. The photo showed a handsome young man with thick eyebrows and a straight nose.The corners of the pretty mouth are slightly raised.Following the photo is a line of words: Lu Zhiang, suspected of murder, now in the whole city. Xiao Ruan was surprised, how could such a good-looking boy be a murderer.Looking back, the opened picture book was blown back to the first page by the wind. Xiao Ruan picked it up, and there was still a beggar's finger mark on the first page. On the screen is a boy with soft long hair, almost exactly the same as the beggar just now, next to a girl with long hair, who looks like the brightest sunshine in summer when she smiles. There is a piece of text on the screen, and Xiao Ruan reads in a low voice: Xiao Ruan turned her head to look at the beggar who had been taken away, his figure had already disappeared into the turbulent crowd. But for some unknown reason, his sad cry kept circling in his ears, circling, rising higher and higher, echoing back and forth over the noisy city. That boy, taught me to grow. That girl, taught me to love.