Chapter 5 5. I am the catastrophe in your life

I really want to tell Cheng Tianyou that Wuhuxing's name is really ugly, it's really hard for a man like you to come up with such an ugly name. Actually, I'm not very hypocritical, but Cheng Tianyou's cooking is unpalatable. Originally, what a wonderful thing eggs are, even the simplest boiled eggs are delicious.But he can somehow make an egg as hard as a bone. He looked at me at the table with a smile, and there was a hint of shyness in his deep and domineering eyes, which appeared so naturally, without appearing abrupt.It's something I've never seen in his eyes.He said, the voice is extremely slow, this is the first time I go to the kitchen...

The poached egg in my mouth was bang—it fell into the porcelain plate, almost smashing the porcelain plate.I thought to myself, if you hadn’t said it earlier, if you had said it was the first time you went to the kitchen, I would go out and buy soy milk and fried dough sticks to comfort myself.Well now, gnawing eggs like rocks. Cheng Tianyou raised his hand, wiped the oil stains on my mouth with a paper towel, and asked carefully, isn't it delicious? When he said this, he was like a child who had lost a game, with a little melancholy between his brows.He said, I did this just to make sure, Jiang Sheng, you are really back!After such a long time, even on the airport side, I feel like I am in a dream.I don't know what you have experienced outside in the past four years, and whether you have been hurt.I just know that I miss you very much, very much.I was afraid that this was an illusion, a dream.I pinched myself and it hurt, but I was afraid that I was too obsessed with this dream and refused to wake up.I wanted to pinch you lightly, but I was afraid of hurting you, and you disappeared like a dream.So, I had no choice but to come and cook for you once. I wanted to see the way you frowned while eating. Only in this way can I believe that my Jiang Sheng is really back...

Speaking of this, in Cheng Tianyou's eyes, there are some scattered lights, which will scatter on the cheeks as soon as they are touched. He said, I know, a man shouldn't say so many words.A man's pain for a woman is in action.But, Jiang Sheng, I feel that as the person involved, I have the right to hold my heart in front of you, so that you can see it clearly, and you don't want to avoid it! I once hurt you, hurt your dearest brother, Liang Sheng.However, it was all my fault and my jealousy!On that day, in front of Tianen, I want you not to change your mind about Tianen for the rest of your life!You who have always been fearless, actually begged me for him, you said, as long as I don't hurt him, you promise me anything!

At that time, I felt that the sky was falling apart. Is this the Jiang Sheng I know?The girl as proud as a little hen? And I love you, spoil you, pamper you, and I never bought your pride, but when he was in danger, you were fragile and vulnerable, and all collapsed in front of my eyes!When you used to beg me for a penny?Never begged anyone for a penny! When I saw you suffering so much for him, my jealousy blinded my whole sanity!At that time, I, who was used to being proud, couldn't bear the fact that you were so kind to another boy, so good that I could use my own life's happiness to offset it!Also, I really didn't know he was your brother at the time.

do you know?At that time, when I walked towards him with a knife, I didn't want to chop off his fingers, I wanted to chop off myself!I have tried so much for you, but none of them can match his one crisis, and I can win your heart even more. At that time, for him, it was like losing your mind, being possessed by a demon, and lost your mind, and you let me ask for it! What a failure I am! I have never asked you for anything, but the first time I asked you was when I took him as a bargaining chip, so I had the "capital" to ask you! If you could have suffered less for him at that time, begged me less, and let me see less of your relentlessness for him, I would definitely not hurt him.However, you are so painful that you almost tear yourself apart!

So, I hurt him! But, Jiang Sheng, can you understand that when I chopped off his fingers, my heart was also chopped into pieces by your desperate expression! Of course, I have said so much, not to excuse myself.I just want you, don't hate me, I want you to untie that knot.I'm not a heinous bad person, I'm just jealous of the girl I love and lose my mind.So, in the following four years, I have always respected the way you chose, and used a way you can accept to make up for the harm I caused you. I look forward to your coming back again. After speaking, he raised his eyes and looked at me, his eyes were full of gentle Huashang.But I seemed to be standing on the opposite side of time and space, and once again fell into that nightmare-like past——

... Cheng Tianyou held my chin, ruthlessly, almost crushed, pointed at Liang Sheng and Bei Xiaowu who were being held on the ground, and asked me, whose fingers do you want? ... Those gleaming knives were pressed against Liang Sheng's fingers. I could only beg, with tears streaming down my face, I said, God bless, God bless, please, don't hurt them, I beg you! ... I cried and held his hand, but I couldn't touch the warmth of the past. I said, God bless, God bless, as long as you don't hurt him, I promise you anything!I promise you everything! ... I watched them raise their knives, cry loudly, their hearts burst open, and blood-like tears flowed from their eyes—after that scream that I will never forget in my life, Liang Sheng's middle finger and index finger left his body. Body.

…I hugged Liangsheng and cried, looking at the bean-sized beads of sweat on his forehead due to the pain. At that moment, my heart ached until it disappeared, and I kept tearing my clothes to bandage his wound.Every inch and thread is my endless guilt and distress.I would rather be the one who died at that time than Liang Sheng to suffer such pain... However, in the end we are still suffering beyond redemption, even in the end, because you are the little grandson that Grandpa God Bless has been looking for for many years, and everything is settled.It can't change the ending of you and me, scattered in the world.

In this life, I am the catastrophe in your life - when Tianyou learned the truth and finally carried you to the hospital to rescue your fingers, I held Tianyou's leg tightly, fearing that he would hurt you; And the one who hurt you in the end was me! However, in this life, you are the knot in my heart—because of my entanglement, he finally hugged you and fell down the stairs, so you justifiably lost your memory; The ashes were left to me. How are you? Is that pot of ginger flower okay? Your Jiang Sheng is very bad, she dare not, can't, should not tell anyone, she misses you!She misses you so much!Longing bites the bones, pains the heart!

A mushroom misses another mushroom. What about another mushroom? How is he?Outside, will you sleep on the street?Encountered bullying?Will he be called around?Thin clothes? Four years!You who have lost your memory, you who are like a pure white child, who will give you food to satisfy your hunger?Who gave you clothes to keep out the cold?What do you do when you are sick?What should I do if I am injured?Even the damn useless me in this damn beautiful house can't bring you a bowl of boiled noodles! When I was young, when you had a fever, I would curl up in a corner and cry with my mouth pouted.I think you are a good-looking doll given to me by God. I am afraid that you will be taken back to heaven by God if you are too sick.Therefore, I can only vent my fear by crying.

When you are sick, your small body curls up, your eyelashes grow long, and you hug Xiaomi and talk nonsense, you say, Jiang Sheng, don’t cry, Liang Sheng is not uncomfortable anymore, Liang Sheng is no longer cold, and no fever.Liangsheng has had enough sleep, so he will get up and make boiled noodles for you. However, anyone could tell that on the hospital bed, the nine-year-old child was flushed, shivering, and had a high fever. Liang Sheng, if you could love me less, if I could rely on you less, if you stayed in the city all your life and I never left Weijiaping, then our present would not be so sad ? You are wearing clean and new clothes, like an elegant prince, playing the joy of your life on the black and white keys; and I, wearing gaudy makeup, carrying a bench, sitting at the entrance of the village, chatting with the people in the village Girls of the same age talked about family life and which family in the neighboring village had a little brother. If this is the case, even if we meet when we grow up, we will not be people from the same world, let alone collapse in the same inner pain! tears. overflowing. Bear back. Refill. Hold back. Hundreds of twists and turns. Thousands of twists and turns. In the end, he was defeated and fell to his cheeks. Cheng Tianyou's gentle fingers gently lifted up, flicking the tears off my cheeks. He seemed to see that the me just now, following his words, fell into that terrible nightmare.So, he said, sorry, Jiang Sheng, I made you sad again... I lowered my head, said nothing, and munched on the poached eggs he made for me, tears still falling rapidly. Tianyou said anxiously, what's wrong with you?Jiang Sheng, what's wrong with you?I won't mention this damn question in the future!It's all my fault, I just want to speak for myself!In addition, I would also like to say that because of this incident, Tian En also had a high fever for many days in those days four years ago, and he has been confessing. I hope you can forgive him.Forgive those young and ignorant mistakes, he is still a child after all... I cried out loudly, in this lonely small building, facing Tianyou who was so similar to Liang Sheng, my heart was so sad that I couldn't stop crying and said, God You, this egg is really bad... … Tianyou was stunned for a moment, he looked straight at me, obviously, he felt that my sadness at this time would definitely not be because of a bad poached egg. I continued to cry, but, God bless, I thought, it's such an unpalatable thing, I don't know if Liang Sheng will be able to eat it.I said, I was so sad that I was about to die. When I thought about it, he didn't know if there was food to eat, and would he live on the street!Thinking of this makes me sad as hell.I really hate myself!How can I, how can I obey your arrangements!Even if you don't want him to remember who I am, don't let him be sad!I should be by his side too!If even I can leave him, how can I ask you to take such good care of him!I am a fool!I am an idiot! Cheng Tianyou was stunned.In the end, he said word by word, with great difficulty, that after so many years, even if he disappeared, you would not forget it!Refuse to give up! I was also stunned, Cheng Tianyou's very meaningful eyes made me overwhelmed, I suddenly felt that I really shouldn't have more sadness than Liang Sheng's girlfriend Wei Young. If a feeling exceeds the sadness of love, then what is it? I argued incoherently, I said, I was just worried about him, he is my brother, I am his sister, I am worried about his safety... enough!Cheng Tianyou's complexion suddenly became abnormally ugly, his cold eyes cut my heart like a sharp knife, he said word by word, Jiang Sheng!You continue to quibble!continue!I could pamper you in your teenage years!However, you are now twenty-one years old!You must be responsible for your own words and deeds! My face was pale, like a thief who had been exposed to the sun, and I could only argue to relieve myself, muttering, is it a mistake for my sister to care about my brother? Cheng Tianyou got up from the dining table and grabbed me over. The strength between his hands almost crushed my shoulders. He said, Jiang Sheng!Four years!My agreement with you ends here!I have walked the road for four years, crossed the bridge for four years, and waited for you for four years!Until now, I admit, I failed!I am not afraid of anyone you love in your heart, I can fight for it, even if I know I am a shadow!However, I am afraid that you are so true to yourself!I'm afraid you are wrong and still don't know it! Even though I hurt you and him four years ago, I was completely wrong!But it's better than being immersed in a mistake after many years and becoming a legend instead! Not long ago, in that car accident, just because you saw a shadow that looked exactly like Liang Sheng, you would be so crazy that you would even lose your own life!Is that all you care about him?He cares so much that he doesn't know whether he lives or dies!Care enough to ignore my feelings!You only know that you will cry, you will be hurt, and you will be hurt, so do you know that I am also a human being, with flesh and blood and feelings!I also feel pain, anger, and grievances! do you know?How eager I was to see you this morning as I raced down the highway toward your residence.However, I ended up slowing down.Because after a gust of cool wind, I suddenly woke up and found that I am not just myself!I can no longer let my temper drive for thrills like I used to. Because I have you and a woman I love, I need to bear it!I'm worried, what if something goes wrong with me?Who will take care of your sleepless insomnia!Who will pity you for the dark sadness you have because of cold life!I am still afraid, you will cry, you will cry for me! Now it seems that my worries are superfluous!On the road, I was like a family man driving slowly on the road, with a smile on my face when I was thinking about the woman I love. Now that I think about it, I am so fucking stupid!will you cry for meridiculous! the you now!Ginger!What sorrow do you still have that cannot be seen from the light of day!Your sorrow, you wish the whole world knew about it!If only they all sympathized with you!I wish they would all acquiesce in your poor ethics and morals! As he said that, he stared at me full of anger, his eyes were like fire spreading on the ice and snow, with cold pain and scorching anger. you let me go!I was completely injured by his words, my cheeks were as pale as snow, I suppressed the dizziness caused by lack of sleep, raised my arms, trying to get rid of the restraint of his hands! Cheng Tianyou sneered and said, of course I want to let you go!Just go on with your incestuous love affair!You irredeemable fool! incest? incest! incest? ! Go on with your incestuous love! You go on with your chaotic love! continue! continue! go! go! Cheng Tianyou's words exploded in my chest like a bomb.My eyes widened, my pupils dilated, and my chest heaved violently. "Incest", this is the word I have avoided for many years.Now, it jumps out naked from Cheng Tianyou's mouth, nakedly defining all my sadness and all my behaviors.This sudden humiliation made me feel ashamed, and I just wanted to die!I raised my hand and slammed it fiercely at Cheng Tianyou's face. However, just as the slap was about to fall, the exhaustion and arrhythmia accumulated from days of insomnia, coupled with the humiliation just now, made me gasp for breath and passed out straight away. At that moment, I couldn't see that Cheng Tianyou's anxious eyes suddenly turned into panic, and he held me tightly.Call, Jiang Sheng, Jiang Sheng, what's wrong with you? Seeing that my face was so pale that there was no blood left, he hugged me tightly in his arms and ran downstairs. ...Jiang Sheng, don't scare me! ...Jiang Sheng, I will not be narrow-minded anymore, and I will never quarrel with you again! ... Jiang Sheng, I promise you, I will definitely find Liang Sheng back! ...Jiang Sheng, I'll take you to the hospital right away!Don't scare me! Cheng Tianyou, like a helpless child, called out to me with a weeping voice.The moment he went downstairs and opened the door, the flashing lights flashed together—— morning. This man on the cusp of the storm walked out of my house, which was already extremely explosive news.Moreover, at this time, he was still holding me who was unconscious in his arms. Cheng Tianyou was stunned immediately.He didn't expect such a situation to happen. At this moment, under the flickering lights, a reporter asked sharply: Excuse me, Mr. Cheng, is Miss Su Man's suicide and admission to the hospital related to Mr. Cheng, who was here with you in your arms last night? What does this lady have to do with a good night together? ...Mr. Cheng, may I ask, is this girl the young girl that was rumored to be under your care four years ago? ...Mr. Cheng, this girl disappeared from this city for four years. Is it true that you sent her to another place as rumored?There are rumors that she has given birth to two children for you, is there such a thing? ...Mr. Cheng... ...Mr. Cheng... Cheng Tianyou is like a raging lion, his teeth are clenched tightly, every word, shut your mouth!If you delay my going to the hospital, or if she makes any mistake, I promise to return it to you tenfold!I promise! However, he was alone, without any helpers, and he held me in a coma in his arms.Although those reporters were afraid, they were unwilling to miss the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Therefore, although the siege was loosened, the siege was still tight. Cheng Tianyou's face became extremely gloomy, his handsome eyes were full of resentment, and he scanned the faces full of desire in front of him, trying to record all their appearances.But in his tone, there was a hint of painful compromise, saying, get out of the way, you will kill her! At this moment, Bei Xiaowu's drunken voice came over, and he staggered over with a bottle in his hand, probably just got drunk from a bar.He yelled at Cheng Tianyou, grandma, you tell them about murder, you are sick!They can't wait for Jiang to live and die!You came out from my "ex-wife" early in the morning, this news is already at the third level of "obscenity"!If she dies in your arms again, the news will be A-level "obscenity"!Isn't it more explosive and more attractive? Bei Xiaowu is full of resentment towards Cheng Tianyou, which is due to Xiao Jiu, and even more because of the harm Tianyou brought to him and Liang Sheng four years ago.Therefore, Bei Xiaowu always called me "ex-wife" in front of Cheng Tianyou by taking advantage of the fact that I had been "in love" with him.Every time the domineering Cheng Tianyou heard the word "ex-wife", displeasure would flash across his bright pupils, and his faint anger was exactly what Bei Xiaowu was happiest to see. At this time, Bei Xiaowu's words were undoubtedly thunderous. Those reporters turned their heads one after another and looked at Bei Xiaowu, with a hint of admiration in their eyes.Obviously, Bei Xiaowu's words were very helpful to them. At this time, Bei Xiaowu shook the wine bottle in his hand and said, Jiang Sheng, you silly girl, you still need your ex-husband to save you!Cheng Tianyou is a fool!After speaking, he put on a handsome pose and threw the wine bottle to the crowd.The group of reporters fled in all directions for fear of being hit. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… blood. warm. drop. drop. Dripping from his full forehead, dripping on my brow.Like a mass of thick, unresolved melancholy.At the moment when the wine bottle burst, this handsome and domineering man, under the tremendous pain, tightly protected me, for fear that the shattered glass would hurt me again who was already in a coma. Bei Xiaowu's screams hadn't stopped yet, Cheng Tianyou looked at him very puzzled, and shouted in a low voice, I didn't make a sound when I was beaten, what are you screaming for beating people!Quickly open the door for me, and I'll take your "ex-wife" to the hospital!