Chapter 11 Chapter 9 Breakup

Cheng Ji knew that Yu Ying was going to take the child back to the town to visit his father-in-law and mother-in-law, so he prepared many gifts.He couldn't manage so much, he was too busy, he had just returned from Qingdao, and he was going to Qingdao again, his career was at the most critical moment.To be honest, he almost wished that his wife, children, and mother would all disappear from his world. He is rushing to the pinnacle of his life, and he is not willing to pretend to be very concerned about these trivial matters to balance the relationship between all parties. He uses all this energy on work.Cheng Ji believes that men should not be double-sided tape. A man who is double-sided tape is useless. What good is a man trapped in family affairs and forced to look like a little man at home? ?

Cheng Ji can earn money, earning money is a trivial matter, the most important thing is that he can reach a first-class position in his field, that is the great event that will last forever.He really didn't have the energy to stop and study life with these three women, old and young, although one of them was a baby girl. So, when Yu Ying said, "I'm going to take some time off to visit my mother", Cheng Ji immediately said, "Okay! We should go back, besides, we haven't brought our baby back yet." Cheng Ji blamed himself for agreeing too quickly, and his wife would be upset, so he pretended to be distressed and said, "Unfortunately, I have to prepare to go to Qingdao recently, otherwise I will definitely ask for leave."

Yu Ying annoyed him the most, every time he felt complacent, he had to pretend he had no choice.People in their thirties, do you think that those little tricks can fool the woman who sleeps next to you every day?Does the man really want to accompany him back to his mother's house, is it really regrettable that he can't ask for leave, can that expression deceive others, and can he deceive his wife? Yu Ying didn't say anything, she felt that her cultivation was still not enough, a good wife should be able to deceive herself and say, "Look, how much he doesn't want to part with me."

Cheng Ji got Yu Ying's forgiveness, and then devoted himself even more to his work, and almost didn't even bother to deal with it.After being busy, Yu Ying gave Zhou Lijin a long vacation.It just so happened that Zhou Lijin was also planning to go on a trip with her boyfriend, eager to have a vacation. Therefore, when Yu Ying left City X with the child in her arms, almost everyone was overjoyed.Cheng Ji felt that he was finally liberated; Ran Ran was even more lawless in the bar without his aunt in charge; Zhou Lijin was able to get a vacation; A move of chess finally won the daughter-in-law; the father-in-law was even more happy, and the wife came back to cook for himself.

Everyone was happy, only Yu Ying was holding the baby and carrying a small bag, feeling as lonely as an abandoned woman.The injury on the foot has completely healed, but the injury in the heart has been hurting deeply. She wanted to find a place and think about it, why did she live her life like this?Live so poorly, live so shamefully, live so badly. She had to look at herself, what went wrong? She has to go home, go back to her mother to find warmth, at this moment, she is a child. In fact, Yu Ying is not familiar with this small town at all. She left this place when she was about seven or eight years old, and went to City X with her parents.Both parents do literary work, one is a teacher, and the other is a cadre engaged in women's work.Neither of them is a doctor, but they insisted on going back to this small town after retirement, saying that this small town is their hometown.

Yu Ying really didn't understand, this small town has inconvenient transportation, poor sanitation, and there is no entertainment and leisure, driving past a dusty place, how can it attract parents to come back to such an ordinary place?Although it is said that Yu Jing lives in her parents' house, the apartment of her parents is still very large, and the two elders have pensions, and Yu Ying always pays the money on time every month, although she knows that most of it will go to Yu Jing and her parents. Ran Ran, but her family did not have any financial pressure after all. In the parks of the city, you can play Tai Chi, play chess, and there are many public facilities for the elderly to use for free. No matter how you look at it, it is better than staying in this small town.

Of course Yu Ying hasn't reached the age where she can experience her parents' age.The kind of enthusiasm for hometown.The feeling of falling leaves returning to their roots can only be experienced when the leaves fall. Yu Ying's mother is a very capable and neat retired women's director of the sub-district office. In the past, she was very opposed to Yu Ying's study of medicine. But when Yu Ying became a famous young Chinese doctor in the city with her grandfather's insistence, Yu Ying's mother began to tell her neighbors in the small town about the long-term goals she had set early on, saying that she had long been optimistic about the quintessence of China, I am optimistic about the tradition of Chinese medicine, and say how accurate my eyesight is.

In the small town, Yu Ying's mother, Zhang Lu, found the value of life. Therefore, no matter how inconvenient the small town is, it is better than being eliminated in the city. Yu Chaosheng went out for a walk early, and saw that his wife Zhang Lu had come back from the outside, and a lot of dishes were ready, he waved his hand and said, "Isn't Yinger coming back, and she is not a special guest. Then I heard that children are too young to eat any food at all, and it would be too wasteful to make so much.” Zhang Lu rolled his eyes at him, put the presbyopic glasses on the side of the dish, patted the leaf in his hand and said, "What do you know, Yinger hasn't come back for a long time, I don't know how much I want to eat my dishes! If you make a little less portion, you have to Make a few more dishes. Old man, don’t try to be lazy today, these bean sprouts, remove the old leaves, I have to go and see how the soup is doing.”

Yu Chaosheng was fiddling with his beloved flowers by the flowerpot, and he listened to his wife's orders. Although he was reluctant, he still came to help his wife choose vegetables.The two elders have been living peacefully and comfortably in the small town. The arrival of their daughter brought a huge surprise to the old man's life. When Yu Ying entered, Yu Chaosheng stood up, rubbed his hands, and shouted to Zhang Lu who was still busy in the kitchen: "Ying'er has come in, why are you still busy inside?" Yu Ying put the baby aside first.The baby has slept soundly and has just been fed in the car.Because the town is not very far from City X, Yu Ying originally wanted to drive by herself, but considering the baby's problem, Cheng Ji arranged for a colleague to pick her up.As soon as the car arrived in the small town, it drove back, and there was no hard work along the way.

I haven't seen my parents for another half a year.Every time Yu Ying sees her parents, her heart aches.The town is far away from X City, not to mention not far away, and her financial strength is enough to allow her to fly back to see her parents.However, as long as she is in X city, everything revolves around her non-stop, she seems to be wound up like clockwork, and she can't stop even if she wants to. I always tell myself that in a few days, when I am free, I will go to see my parents and take them somewhere to play.However, living some days, I always talk about tomorrow, always tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, but it will never come.

People don't know if the bigger the heart is, the more ruthless they are. They only think about their children, family, their own feelings of gain and loss, and their career prospects, but they don't remember how much they used to rely on their parents and the motivation to work hard. It is to let parents live a good life. Thinking of this, Yu Ying felt extremely guilty, and helped her father pick up food several times during meals.My mother watched from the side and said: "The old man eats my cooking every day, don't feel sorry for him, you eat, you eat." Yu Ying felt that all the unhappiness could be filled by this delicious and familiar meal. However, reality is always inescapable. After eating, the baby also woke up, Yu Ying held her in her arms, changed the diaper, and coaxed her to play again.Zhang Lu's old man likes children the most, and his heart will tremble when he sees the little people with fans.After receiving it, he smiled again and made facial expressions to coax the child to laugh. Yu Chaosheng raised his head from behind and looked at the child wholeheartedly. Zhang Lu pretended to be casual and said: "This baby is so fun, why don't you and Cheng Ji have one while you are young! Your father and I are not very old, and your mother-in-law is still active enough to help you take care of the baby." .” "Mom, didn't you agree that you won't have a baby now?" Yu Ying was a little annoyed when her mother brought up this matter again. "A few years ago, not giving birth was for business. Now your clinic is also up, and Cheng Ji is also doing well. I often subscribe to medical magazines, and there are his articles on them. I also have a house. Although I still have Yu Jing and Ran Ran, But, my father and I gave them the house, and Jing'er also has a job and can earn a little money, you don't have any pressure, why don't you want to have a baby?" Zhang Lu's tone became serious, after all, she was her biological daughter, and she spoke Time doesn't matter so much. Yu Ying took the child and said to the little baby, "Isn't it good to have this now, why do we need another one, how tiring it will be then?" "What?" Zhang Lu took the child and said to Yu Ying, "What are you thinking? No matter how good this child is, it's not yours. Since you like children, why don't you have one yourself?" Yu Ying replied in her heart: "I want to have a baby! But I don't want to have a baby with Cheng Ji, and I don't want to have a baby with Wu Borong. I don't know who to have a good baby with." This is the real headache for Yu Ying. But no matter what, don't let others know this.She wants to have a child, but she can't just find a man to give birth to, because she loves children very much, so after giving birth, she has to be responsible for the child for the rest of her life, and she can't let the child's mother be an adulterer. By the age of three or five, with the exposure of the affair, the family will be broken, and the children will be displaced, which she can't do.She can't control herself from getting entangled with Wu Borong now, so she can only control herself from having children. Besides, shouldn't children be born in a loving environment?If Cheng Ji has always been so busy, and the two of them have always been so polite, so what if the child has parents?Parents don't care about their children. Yu Ying didn't dare to give birth, the more she understood that she was not someone who could be let down casually, the more she dared not give birth. Zhang Lu thought that her daughter was still playful, imitating some modern fashion people to play DINK, and she became more and more angry.As soon as her daughter came back, she didn't want to say much, she put the baby in Yu Chaosheng's hands, then turned and went back to the house. Yu Chaosheng looked at Yu Ying who was about to cry, sat down, held the baby well, and said to his daughter: "It's okay, your mother has that temper, it's not like you don't know it, it will be fine in a while." Yu Chaosheng said again: "Could it be that Cheng Ji treated you badly?" Dad naturally thought further. "Nothing." Yu Ying also spoke the truth, and Cheng Ji really didn't treat her badly, but, how should I put it, a little bit too nice, like acting. Yu Chaosheng didn't know what to say.After a long time, Yu Ying tentatively asked: "Dad, if Cheng Ji and I can't make it through and separate, what do you think will happen to Mom?" She didn't know how she came up with this idea. Yu Chaosheng only glanced at Yu Ying, without saying much, he carried the child and walked into the house. From that moment, Yu Ying knew that it was more difficult for her to get divorced.Parents are old and can no longer withstand such a blow. In the hearts of their generation, divorce is always a very bad thing.What happened to Yu Jing had already broken their hearts. If they, their proudest daughter, wanted to divorce, they would definitely not be able to bear it. That kind of look is just unbearable, and I don't want to hear such words again. Yu Ying was born in this world, not only was she living alone, but there were many, many people around her that she had to consider.It is not necessary to divorce and be with Wu Borong, but this kind of emotional and physical split is unbearable for her.If she was divorced and lived alone with the baby, then at least she wouldn't have to suffer so much pain when she was with Wu Borong, and she wouldn't have to endure the lukewarm and slow suicide with Cheng Ji. However, she has no way to get rid of it. After all, divorce is not a trivial matter. She and Cheng Ji who have been entangled for too long are not so easy to separate. She felt that she was pressed by a stone and couldn't breathe. She just wanted to end this chaotic life, and it was time to say goodbye to Wu Borong. Yu Ying said to herself: "I want to say goodbye to him." Because of the problem of having a baby, Yu Ying got into trouble with her parents as soon as she got home, and she couldn't help feeling her chest was tight. After dinner, the baby and her parents had a great time.The old man tried his best to take care of the child, which made her feel relieved, so he made an excuse to go out to see his old friends, and walked along the path outside by himself. Yu Ying walked aimlessly.Her parents' house was a small two-story building built by herself later, on the edge of the town, beside a field.There is a lotus pond when you go out, and there are paddy fields when you walk past. There are a few houses scattered on both sides of the path, all of which are small buildings with a height of about two floors. Fruit trees stick out from the courtyard wall. The cool breeze in the summer night was very comfortable, and Yu Ying suddenly understood the reason why her parents didn't want to live in the city.Standing in front of such a beautiful scenery, one's heart is much quieter, which is more comfortable than living in a busy life.He is almost seventy years old, and he can't let go of his fame, so he naturally wants to have such a peaceful life. And I really can't destroy the state of mind of my parents when they are old. Having a daughter like Yu Jing and a granddaughter like Yu Ranran is enough to worry about. If I add more trouble, the life of my parents will be even more difficult. How can a person be so selfish and only care about himself when he lives in the world?It's not that you live in a vacuum, you have to be careful not to bump into someone accidentally when walking on the street.Everywhere is living humbly, this is a normal state, it is not a kind of grievance, nor is it a sacrifice, it is the same life from generation to generation. Thinking of this, Yu Ying felt completely cheerful.She took out the phone and didn't look at it much, just touched the number with her hand, and the number was familiar. She was very calm. When she made this decision, her hands were as stable as when she was confidently administering acupuncture to treat a patient, without any emotional fluctuations at all. She decided to be her own master, no longer let her emotions control her, she no longer needs to be frightened by any heavy emotions, she has to grasp herself well, and let her life be held in her own hands. Only in this way can she ensure that she will not make mistakes, and the road of life will be relatively smoother. Wu Borong was sitting in the office looking at some documents. In fact, there was no need to finish these documents today, but for some reason, recently he was not very interested in going home after work. Apart from working overtime, sometimes he just went out to socialize. He felt thirsty and irritable, and he always felt that things were not finished, but when he really did it, he didn't know which one was not done well. Wu Borong lit a cigarette and took a deep breath.Looking down from his current office, the street lamps outside the window are all on, the whole city is hidden in a sea of ​​lights, and the straight street lamps on both sides of the road stretch forward.Standing so high and looking at so many lights, I will feel a little more emotion invisibly. There are so many people in this world, everyone has a story, a secret.There are so many stories and so many secrets, but every story and secret has nothing to do with Wu Borong. He is still alone in this world, no one has anything to do with him, and no one's story belongs to him. Only Yu Ying is his secret, like cutting a piece of light in this sea of ​​lights that belongs only to him, it feels like that little thing belongs to him. Wu Borong is not like the businessmen outside, he can't get out of the money.This generation of businessmen is no longer the nouveau riche who made their fortunes purely by boldly and desperately gaining power at the beginning of the reform and opening up. They drink XO like a cow drink, with thick gold chains, layers of fat exposed, and yellow teeth. And giggle.Today's businessmen have become more and more intelligent, and more and more elegant, all of which are forced out by this world.If you don't have a high IQ and a high EQ, you don't want to compete in this world. The era when you can be a bad guy with a bag of clothes is gone forever. Wu Borong's temperament and demeanor are the best among his peers, and his clothes are even more tasteful. You can't ask such a man to be like a male dog in heat, to fuck whenever he sees the secretary. He has his own style and his own bottom line.He plays his own game, he is master of his own kingdom. When he heard the phone ring, but didn't see it, he felt that it must be her. Because at this time, smoking a cigarette, with his coat draped over the back of the chair, standing in front of the tall glass window looking out, he was thinking about her eagerly. For no reason, he firmly believed that the phone must belong to her. However, the voice over there was very calm, as flat as a piece of ice, coming straight over: "I'm with my mother, in the town, I'll wait for you in that hotel, I have something to say to you." Wu Borong remembered that hotel. Not far from that small town was a scenic spot called Huangyun Cave. Although it was not very famous, it did have a special flavor that attracted many donkey friends.The hotel is built on the edge of a small stream. The two-story wooden house is very chic. When you open the window, you can see the clear stream flowing into a deep pool behind the window, as if it will not flow anymore after it is still. And there are weeping willows reflected in the deep pool, the last time he went with Yu Ying, it was winter, the two had a good time in the hotel room, it was the time when they were most greedy for each other's body, wishing to grow on each other's body all the time, Do not separate. The windows were also open when the two had sex.In winter, the hotel is very deserted, and there is no one behind the mountain. There is heating in the room, and the windows do not feel cold. Wu Borong only remembered that Yu Ying was sitting on him, and when Wu Borong looked at him, he happened to see a still-looking green pool, the beauty of the color was hard to describe in words.His eyes stopped on Yu Ying's collarbone where beads of sweat were falling. The steaming water there, like the white air floating on the pool outside the window, is dreamlike and unreal, making people feel divorced from reality.He felt that he was hugging a woman transformed from a mountain god. The woman, the color and the outside of the window were all integrated, so that he could hardly tell the difference between man and nature. Wu Borong found the most primitive and natural self in Yu Ying. He achieved the integration of man and nature through the bridge of women. But when Wu Borong is sitting in this hotel now, he doesn't have that kind of irresistible urge.He drove the car very fast, and when he arrived, Yu Ying still had some time to come in the small town. Wu Borong sat down in a corner of the hall, he knew what Yu Ying was going to say.If he lived to his age and couldn't even distinguish a woman's tone and mentality, it would be ridiculously childish. Wu Borong has never been a ridiculous person, he is always proud of his intelligence.But at this moment, he would rather be stupid. It's not that he doesn't know that at this stage between him and Yu Ying, the entanglement is a little too deep, and has already invaded each other's life.This speed of devouring each other's life and occupying each other's soul has exceeded the level that the two can grasp and control. He looked out the window with a bit of self-mockery, the pool of water was still there, but he couldn't see clearly through the night.He knew what was wrong with him, because he was a little too involved in the game, so he couldn't control the rules of the game, so he had no choice but to follow the game. Wu Borong felt that he was being led away by some force, and his intelligence, self-confidence and maturity were insignificant compared to this force.He didn't want to interpret this power as love, because it would always feel too childish to talk about love like this, and it would also insult the essence of love. At that time, when he seduced Yu Ying, he was only greedy for the volcanic passion in her body. He longed for that passion, longed for the woman he wanted after he succeeded in his career.It was a natural reaction in a wild man, almost an animal instinct. But, in fact, after getting Yu Ying, not only did he not feel as tired as before, but he found new things in Yu Ying again and again.This woman is like a kaleidoscope, every time it changes, another kind of beauty will appear. Wu Borong couldn't put it down, but he knew that Yu Ying was definitely not a kaleidoscope, on the contrary, it was a real volcano.When this volcano erupts, it can destroy many things. His family, his existing seemingly perfect life, even his masculine self-esteem will be destroyed by this woman. The most frightening thing is that he also disagrees that he can't be his own master. He doesn't want to be led by emotions at his age.He hates feelings of infatuation or admiration. Only when a person is not strong enough will he be infatuated with others and hope to be recognized by others. And he, Wu Borong, when does he need to use others to prove the value of his existence? All blind and impulsive emotions are poisonous and can destroy an adult's life and lead him to a childish and tragic end. Wu Borong will accept any proposal from Yu Ying.Even if he wants to break up, he has already made all preparations. Compared with his affection and infatuation for Yu Ying, he loves himself more. When Yu Ying walked in, Wu Borong noticed the change in her.She hides all her charm and fragility, you can't find a bit of a woman's breath in her, you can only see a straight javelin moving towards the target. Wu Borong didn't know what kind of power it was that brought about such a big change in Yu Ying, allowing her to let go of her helplessness and longing. Yu Ying sat down and took a sip of tea. The tea leaves here are all freshly picked from the back mountains and have a completely different aroma. She raised her head from the teacup, the tea smell mixed with her eyes, in that kind of moist state. "I'm sorry, I'm an incompetent woman. When I encounter things that I can't solve, I can only escape." Wu Borong smiled, poured her another cup of tea, and said, "Actually, I am the same. Only one in ten thousand people in this world can face difficulties, maybe even less. Everyone has a dead spot, so you don't have to worry about your own weakness." .” Yu Ying looked at the man opposite, she and him could not only achieve a perfect fit physically, but also had a high degree of commonality in thought.She didn't want to believe that this was the so-called sympathy, but it was indeed a wonderful feeling between men and women. Yu Ying propped her hands on the table and supported her chin, her eyes drifted out of the window, as if she was asking Wu Borong or herself: "Tell me, am I a lewd, immoral, lowly woman?" This is what bothers her.Her education system can't make her pretend that none of these things happened. Even if it's about to end, she still has to give herself an answer.Although this answer has no practical meaning at all, she must give herself one, otherwise it will be like a student who has studied for many years without getting a diploma.Although the knowledge is packed into my mind, I still feel that I have gained nothing. This is really a ridiculous theory. Wu Borong followed her gaze, and a mass of black hollow colors diffused outside the window. "Yes." He answered firmly, "If you ask a million people, a million people will say that, you are a lewd, immoral, and lowly woman." Wu Borong looked directly at her, and then said: "The question is, what do those one million people have to do with you? It has nothing to do with you. There is only one person in this world that has to do with you, and that is you. You are happy, Only you will be happy, you will be sad, and only you will know that when you cut a wound on your hand, only you will hurt, and your conclusion about yourself will not change because of a million people outside. Ten thousand people can't change you." Yu Ying raised her head and was slightly surprised when she saw Wu Borong's admiring gaze.Wu Borong continued: "You, Yu Ying, are not a woman who will change herself because of the opinions of the outside world. You have always had such confidence, and that confidence is hidden in you. You can't see it, but can't you feel it? Even I can’t make you change. You have your own ideas, you are independent and strong, even if you have troubles, it’s normal.” Yu Ying's heart suddenly became clear, and the problem she was troubled by was solved.She doesn't care at all, what's the use of asking?And she really doesn't care about that.Her emotional problems all the time are because she feels that she is not firm enough to be her own master and has nothing to do with others.She is no longer the woman who is at the mercy of the environment and the outside world.Although her parents, children, and family gave her some resistance, the real resistance came from her heart. Yu Ying just doesn't like a life out of control.At this time, Yu Ying also understood that if she didn't like it, Wu Borong wouldn't like it either.Wu Borong was willing to come here, so he naturally understood what was going on. These two probably met for the last time. When Yu Ying thought of this, she felt trembling all over. She didn't know whether it was from discomfort or sadness, or from chills. That huge emotional shock made her feel particularly uncomfortable.She could only support her head like that to make herself look more determined and less likely to be knocked down. The lights in the hall were dim, and the two were in the corner.Wu Borong looked at the woman on the opposite side. In the darkness, she exuded spiritual phosphorescence, like an elf about to fly away, out of tune with the world, but bearing all kinds of great sorrows in the world. Yu Ying is intoxicated in her own world, and she is reflecting on her life. In the eyes of others, she has all the conditions to make her happy, she has a career, a financial foundation, and a family, but she is slowly dying spiritually. Why?Because she can't feel her own existence.As a wife and mother, Yu Ying has done a good job on the surface and has been praised and recognized, but she does not feel her own value as a woman.She is no longer a woman, no one loves her, her husband sees her as a partner in life, patients see her as a savior, friends see her as a venter, and her parents see her as a pride. Surrounded by so many identities, Yu Ying couldn't breathe.There are many people around, maybe it is true as Wu Borong said, there are a million people living together in the same city every day, breathing the same air, but among the million people, there is no one who loves her, loves the girl who was born as a woman A heart that needs to be loved, a pure heart, a pure woman. Only Wu Borong, he found her, excavated her beauty, her inner, she felt alive.Of course, this encounter and derailment was a challenge and an adventure for her.However, she absolutely needs such an adventure, which is neither a manifestation of death instinct, nor willfulness, nor is it vulgar or lewd.This is just the instinct of survival, she, Yu Ying, as a woman, needs to be loved as a kind of survival instinct. However, she still failed. Love is a huge and difficult thing, neither Yu Ying nor Wu Borong can afford it.So, in this night, she could only bear the same powerful helpless sadness as Wu Borong, and dive into the darkness of this world together, never to rise again. Wu Borong didn't touch Yu Ying, not even kiss her goodbye.If you want to cut off a messy relationship, the most important thing is a sharp knife. Any procrastination and reluctance will make it impossible to end everything quickly. Wu Borong also made up his mind.They stood up together, left the hotel, and prepared to return to their own jobs and live on their own tracks.Although the stars seem close to each other, they are actually tens of thousands of light-years apart, and the distance between separated human hearts will not be smaller than that. Just when they were about to go out, the two people who came to them changed all their plans. Man can never fight against the will of God, otherwise, God would laugh, wouldn't he?