Chapter 22 Section ten

In fact, everything came sooner than expected: in June, Guan Tong was appointed by the government to end his work in Puyin and return to the General Office of the Provincial Party Committee to serve as the deputy director. Although the tone is mediocre, it still surprised many people—as the youngest deputy director in the history of the general office, Guan Tong was only a little over thirty-four years old when he held this important position. Gu Xiaoying was overjoyed: Not only did the matter of having a child finally become reliable, but more importantly, she finally didn't have to live that lonely and fearful life anymore.She can finally have a regular schedule like before, cook on time every day, watch her man eat to his heart's content, share a desk with each other after meals, study and study, work and work...the days are so step-by-step, happy and gentle.

The new life undoubtedly brought new hope, and this hope was huge, even overcoming Gu Xiaoying's depression when she saw "a bar" again.For the first time, she could face the fact that she failed to conceive again with a smile, and told herself: It's okay, Guan Tong is back, and from now on, there is hope every day! This good mood lasted until Guan Tong returned to the agency to report. Because he was originally a cadre dispatched from the General Office of the Provincial Party Committee, so he knew the way well, and Guan Tong returned to his old work status in the shortest possible time: on the first night of reporting, he worked overtime until nine o'clock; on the second night, he worked overtime until ten o'clock; on the third night, work overtime until half past ten... until two days on the weekend when she was still working overtime, Gu Xiaoying was furious!

She couldn't help grinding her teeth and thinking: General room... What the hell kind of place is this? ! But someone added fuel to the fire. In the afternoon, Guan Liming called and asked Gu Xiaoying and Guan Tong how he was recently, and went straight to the topic without saying a few words: "I heard that Guan Tong called back and said that he is not working in Puyin anymore? He went back to the province. Hurry up and have a baby, you don’t need to use the separation of the two places as an excuse now!” When Gu Xiaoying heard this sentence, she became furious: What is "using the separation of two places as a reason"?Why does it sound the same as making excuses for not wanting children?Is there anyone who talks like that?In the past, whenever Gu Xiaoying complained that Guan Liming's speech was not pleasant, Guan Tong would comfort her and say, "The countryside doesn't pay attention to these things, just say what you think"... But you Guan Liming is a man in his fifties and sixties, so you can't say it every time. Don't speak human words!

In the past, you thought I was sick because I didn’t have children, and suggested going to the hospital to see a doctor; later, you said that if you can’t have children, you are a hen that doesn’t lay eggs; now it has become "using the separation of the two places as an excuse"? Dare I not show my power, you all collectively treat me as a sick cat, right? ! Gu Xiaoying gritted her teeth with hatred, cursed all the above words in her heart three times, her hands trembled with anger, and then she gritted her teeth and said: "Dad, when Guan Tong comes back, I'll ask him to call you. He works overtime, I was in a hurry to go out, so I hung up!"

Not listening to Guan Liming's persistent chatter over there, Gu Xiaoying hung up the phone with a "snap", and sat on the sofa alone, full of anger. In fact, saying that she wants to go out is of course a lie - Gu Xiaoying feels that according to her mental state at this moment, as long as she leaves this house, it is very likely that she will be triggered immediately, so she cannot curb her desire for violence.So for the sake of social stability and harmony, she can't go anywhere. But the more I think about it, the more unhappy I feel.After being bored for half a minute, Gu Xiaoying picked up the phone and dialed the number at home. After two rings, she was picked up by Gu's mother: "Hello, is that my girl?"

Gu Xiaoying smiled, thinking while laughing: It's better to have a mother, a child with a mother is like a treasure. Then I heard Papa Gu's voice coming from the phone: "Ask her if she wants to eat shrimp, I'll find someone to bring some to her." Gu Xiaoying once again thought emotionally: Look, my parents are good, no matter how you look at them. He rushed to answer: "Tell my dad that I don't want to eat shrimp recently, so let him stop busy. I will eat slowly when I go home during the summer vacation." Unexpectedly, Gu's mother's reaction was extremely quick: "You want to come back during the summer vacation? What are you doing when you come back? Didn't Guan Tong go back to the provincial committee?"

"Returning means not returning!" Gu Xiaoying opened the grievance basket now, and hurriedly poured out bitterness, "I thought the secretariat was busy enough, why is this general room busier than the secretariat now? Mom, you know this What is the general room for? Guan Tong is completely invisible now, I fell asleep when he came home, and I didn't wake up when he went to work... I am no different from living in two places! " "Comprehensive room," Gu Ma thought about it, "isn't that for writing materials? It's mainly for the leaders to speak."

"Isn't there a political research room for the leader's speech? Since the general room can write, what do you want my dad to do?" Gu Xiaoying remembered that her father was from the political research room of the municipal party committee, and she couldn't figure it out. Since she can write, Why do you need so many people, divided into two departments, all busy with the same thing?According to this logic, do leaders have nothing to do except talk all day long?Then just talk about it, and don’t keep talking, keep talking, aren’t you tired of talking so much?Even if you are not tired, how tired are the people who write the speech below!

Gu's mother was obviously gloating, so she hurriedly turned her head and asked Gu's father, "Your girl asked, since there is a general office, what do you need the political research office for?" "We still have a lot of work like research and research. At least we are the staff and assistants of the leaders." Father Gu looked up with a newspaper in his hand, and glanced at Mama Gu from above his glasses, "Tell her not to come back during the summer vacation, and be honest at home." Just wait. Guan Tong is so tired, what is she doing when she comes back? Besides, I don’t write materials 365 days a day. When I have nothing to do, I will hurry up and have a baby, and when I retire, I will take my grandson to the beach to go fishing.”

Gu's mother repeated it to Gu Xiaoying, but Gu Xiaoying didn't take it seriously: "You tell my dad to stop fantasizing. He concentrates on fishing, and forgets to look after the child when the time comes. What if our baby falls into the sea?" Gu's mother was overjoyed to act as a mouthpiece for Gu's father again. Gu's father simply put down the newspaper and took the microphone: "How could it be possible to fall into the sea? Isn't there that kind of chain used to tie puppies? Buy one to tie the child around the waist, and find the other end. This place is fastened, and he will not be able to jump into the sea even if he wants to!"

Gu Xiaoying's mood finally improved, and she couldn't help laughing out loud, thinking that her parents are still cute: Although they are all urging to have a child, but the father's way of urging is so cartoon...Leave a puppy...hahaha... … Just when she was giggling alone, a miracle happened—the sound of a key being inserted and the door opened, and Guan Tong came home! Gu Xiaoying almost rushed to the door and opened it with a "wow", Guan Tong stood outside the door startled: "How do you know I'm back?" "I look forward to the stars and the moon, and I hope to hear the sound of someone inserting a key to open the door. I never thought that my dream would come true!" Gu Xiaoying said happily, "What do you want to eat at night? I'll cook right away." "Don't do it, it's rare to get off work early today, I'll take you to the movies, let's eat outside." Guan Tong put down his bag, looked at Gu Xiaoying and said. "Really?!" Gu Xiaoying went crazy with joy. So that night, Gu Xiaoying always looked like she was in love, glowing with happiness from the inside out—in fact, for a long time, she went to the cinema alone to watch movies.Every time in the screening hall, when she saw other people going out and about, and the girl was holding a big bucket of popcorn, she would look down at the small bucket in her hand, and feel that the so-called "singing alone in a foreign ocean" probably meant this kind of feeling.It felt like a lonely boat floating in the crowd of movie theaters, unable to find a direction. But today is different! Gu Xiaoying took Guan Tong's arm and felt that her neck was straighter than before! It's a pity that the good atmosphere was ruined before going to bed at night. Because even though he returned home after watching the movie at ten o'clock in the evening, Guan Tong still insisted on finishing the materials of the day before going to bed.Gu Xiaoying took a shower early, and waited while reading a novel on the bed: 10:30, 11:30, 11:30... Until Gu Xiaoying yawned, Guan Tong was still studying hard at the desk, without any intention of going to sleep . Gu Xiaoying was very upset. The reason for the unhappiness was obvious: fatigue had made the normal conjugal life between them abnormal.In the face of the matter of having a child, the difference between the two of them is that one person has been hit repeatedly in the can't wait, but the other thinks that the successive blows are just accidental, thus lacking a correct and positive attitude and subjective initiative. After learning from the pain, Gu Xiaoying resolutely got out of bed and walked to Guan Tong's side, snatched the documents from Guan Tong's hand without hesitation, and said with a sullen face, "Guan Tong, are you going to sleep?" "Go to bed after reading this part," Guan Tong smiled apologetically, "Isn't this watching a movie at night? I haven't even finished reading the materials." "If I had known that you would read so many materials and affect your rest, I would have skipped going to the movies!" Gu Xiaoying became angry, "You clearly said you would take a good rest, you look like this, how can we have a child? I hope you After coming back and looking forward to it for so long, all the pressure is on my shoulders alone, and everyone blames me, am I wronged?" "Don't be angry, don't be angry," Guan Tong hastily comforted him, and wanted to pull Gu Xiaoying's hand, but she shook it away vigorously, so he could only say, "It's not a day yet, I read the desk calendar, isn't it the end of the month? " "Guan Tong, do you know what it means to recharge your energy? If you save your energy until the end of the month and rest together, that's called 'grinding your guns before the battle', that's not called 'replenishing your energy'!" Inexplicable grievances came up, thinking of Guan Liming's indiscriminate indifference The scolding, the urging of my parents trying to be tactful but even more tormenting, and the phrase "Is there any news" that everyone around me will ask every time they meet... I will never know if I don't experience it. It will also become a terrible knife, cutting off your confidence, courage, calmness, calmness, and even making you hysterical. Thinking of this, Gu Xiaoying's eyes gradually became moist: "You haven't forgotten what happened in Puyin, right? The reason why I didn't mention it is because I believe it was accidental. But the time after that is getting longer each time, you should I know why this is better than me. If I said that when I first got married, I would think that this is because we are harmonious and we are long-lasting, but now we have been married for almost three years, and I can feel your state without asking!" Guan Tong was stunned, he didn't know that Gu Xiaoying would talk about this level, this level is too private and too deep, it seems that it only needs to be felt, and it can't be expressed in words at all.But once the word spread, it was a kind of dignity that was all swept to the ground, Guan Tong frowned, and his face turned cold involuntarily. But at this moment, Gu Xiaoying remembered the phone call from Guan Liming in the afternoon. Those words were like adding insult to injury to her heart, making her extremely angry: "Your father called this afternoon and said that you are back. I don't want to use the separation of the two places as an excuse not to have children... Guan Tong, tell me in good conscience, is it my fault for not having children? Am I making excuses? I am the one who takes traditional Chinese medicine to regulate endocrine. I am the one who counts the time and keeps track of the days, and I am the one who travels all the way to Puyin to find you! But, I can’t tell anyone why we can’t complete the task every month. After all, God knows the truth. You know! In the final analysis, it’s not only because we didn’t meet each other often, but also your physical strength couldn’t hold on in the limited few days! It’s obvious that my old arms and legs are about to be turned into poker cards, but why did all People come to accuse me, why do you all have to blame me, should I be the mouse in the bellows?!" The last few sounds were almost shouted, Guan Tong was tongue-tied - he didn't know that Guan Liming had made such a big mess in his life that had finally calmed down, and there was an unknown fire in his heart. He even wanted to quarrel with Guan Liming, but that was his father, his father who had no culture but liked to point fingers, no matter how much his old man liked to point fingers and make trouble, Guan Tong couldn't really go all out and blame him, could he? As for Gu Xiaoying, he also wanted to quarrel with her, but he knew her nerves were on the verge of collapse, so what else could he say?In the end he couldn't say anything!He could only hold his breath in his heart: Speaking of the mouse in the bellows, why is he, Guan Tong, an unlucky mouse with both ends angry? In this way, even though Guan Tong didn't say anything afterwards, Gu Xiaoying finally couldn't hold back that night, and took advantage of being provoked by Guan Liming in the afternoon, sobbing fiercely.Guan Tong sat beside Gu Xiaoying, wanting to comfort her, but didn't know what to say, so she could only sigh incessantly.In the end, I really couldn't see it anymore, so I could only pull Gu Xiaoying into my arms, hugged her tightly, and let her vent her thumping on my chest, and then gradually stopped crying. Then, Guan Tong patted Gu Xiaoying's back lightly like this, listening to her sobbing and choking, and letting her rub her tears on her body.When her cold cheek was pressed against his neck, his heart also seemed to tremble slightly with the coolness, and he didn't speak anymore, because the heavy heart had made him lose the ability to think.He just hugged his beloved person in his arms based on feeling, and he didn't know what else to do besides this. So, that night, it took Gu Xiaoying a long time to fall asleep. Before going to bed, she thought bitterly: Ever since she was a child, she has never encountered a more difficult exam than pregnancy! Isn't it—from childhood, no matter whether she is taking college entrance examination or postgraduate entrance examination, at least she knows that if she works hard, she will be rewarded.Although she didn't get into any prestigious university, it could only show that she didn't work hard enough.But the matter of pregnancy... Sigh... You will know only after you try it. You have worked hard, very hard, very hard, and you wish to squeeze your man dry, but when the day comes to check the results with the pregnancy test stick, you are still worried. Famous Sun Shan... Now she knows that having a child is really not an easy task: before deciding to have a child, you have to make sufficient mental and material preparations for welcoming him (her), such as when to give birth, when Where is the child born, who will take care of the child after childbirth, where does the person who takes care of the child live, if there is no elderly person to take care of the child, can they afford to hire a nanny? Whether it can solve the household registration problem, etc., and so on; after you finally get ready and start having children, you find that each other's physical condition, fatigue level, work pressure, living distance and even sexual excitement have become restrictions The factor of a child coming...is it an exaggeration to say it was a tough exam? In the middle of the night, Gu Xiaoying finally fell asleep amidst wild thoughts.Unfortunately, it wasn't until the next morning when she woke up that she sadly realized that her dream was actually related to the exam: she actually dreamed that after she went to the college entrance examination room, she realized that there was no lead in the 2B pencil... It has to be said that the old man Freud is really a bit of a practice-by the way, this dream is really a meaningful metaphor...