Chapter 6 Section VI

During the meeting in the provincial capital, Luo Xinping naturally wanted to bring up the child again.But it’s not scary, the scariest thing is that I don’t know what’s going on, it seems like everyone got married overnight and gave birth in a hurry—when Luo Xinping announced that even Gu Xiaoying’s cousin and cousin-in-law were pregnant at the same time When it was over, Gu Xiaoying felt that this time the world really fell apart. Gu's mother looked forward with fascination: "Speaking of which, their due dates are quite close, both at the end of the year, two cow babies!" Gu Xiaoying buried her head in her meal and didn't respond.

Seeing her daughter's lack of response, Gu's mother gritted her teeth bitterly: "When are you going to have a child?" "Mom, I'm only twenty-eight." Of course Gu Xiaoying couldn't say that even if she wanted a child, Guan Tong wouldn't cooperate with it, so she had to prevaricate, "Why are you so anxious!" "What's the hurry?" Luo Xinping looked at Gu Xiaoying in surprise, and after a long time, she suddenly sighed: "Forget it, I won't say more, children and grandchildren have their own blessings, you can figure it out yourself. But let me tell you , both your sister and your younger brother have declared that the elder sister who has been calling you for twenty-seven years has finally turned around! From now on, your dolls will have to call their dolls 'brother' or 'sister'!"

Gu Xiaoying was eating a piece of short ribs, and she choked on this sentence... The next day, Luo Xinping embarked on the journey back to F City, and Gu Xiaoying accompanied her and Duan Fei to look at the house again according to Xu Xin's instructions. When she came out of the sales office, Gu Xiaoying mentioned that her younger brothers and sisters were about to have children Regarding this matter, he smiled wryly: "Every family has its own hard-to-read scriptures! Now I am almost annoyed by these two parents, urging us to have a baby every day... The problem is not that I don't want to have a baby, it's me Husband thinks it's not time!"

"Actually, I think that the matter of having a child does not mean that the age is the most suitable time, but that you must have the mentality to accept a child and an environment that can wholeheartedly accompany a child to grow up," Duan Fei said calmly He said, "From this point of view, your husband is right. He hopes to bear all the troubles that a child may bring with you. You should feel lucky. As for the nagging of parents, the left ear It’s good to go in the right ear and out. After all, the life trajectory of the previous generation is completely different from ours. At least they didn’t graduate until they were twenty-five or six years old, so they don’t expect to be in their 28s or even 30s now. Having children is a normal thing, as long as it fits the young people's own life plan!"

"You guys are really great, to be able to discuss such a profound topic with such enthusiasm," Xu Xin sighed and shook his head, "I think giving birth is really a horrible thing, even if you are fully prepared, there must still be a lot of trouble Unexpected." "That's why I tell you repeatedly that having a child is a systematic project! It's good to have enthusiasm, but you can't give birth to a child and just leave it alone. You have to accompany her to grow up, right? Whether it's material security or educating children The energy, the patience to grow up with your children, or your own thinking about many life issues, you must be mature enough to really have enough care, enough experience, and enough optimism to guide your children along the way," Duan Fei smiled, and said as he walked, "Now you just have such a period of time to make this mental and material preparation, what's wrong?"

"Actually, I wasn't in a hurry before, but now I realize that it really takes a lot of unexpected stimuli happening around you to make you realize what the real 'soldiers are approaching the city'," Gu Xiaoying sighed, " It seems that even if I do, I will tie Guan Tong to the hospital." "Hospital?" Xu Xin was startled again, "Andrology hospital?" "Get lost!" Gu Xiaoying grinned and stretched out her hand to pinch Xu Xin's neck, "You actually cursed my husband! Even though he's older than us, he wouldn't go to the Andrology Hospital!"

"Then why are you going to the hospital?" Xu Xin asked while hiding. It was Duan Fei who smiled and answered for Gu Xiaoying: "They are going to do a pre-pregnancy checkup." "I only know about prenatal checkups. What is a prenatal checkup?" Xu Xin was curious. "Well, according to the results of my online investigation, in addition to the B-ultrasound and the like, the woman also has to check four items of eugenics. It seems that people who do not have rubella and hepatitis B antibodies in their bodies should be vaccinated... Ouch, it's scary to say, I dare say that many viruses cannot be manifested, if you give birth recklessly, or if you get infected during pregnancy, you will have children with small head and small eyes, intracranial calcification, congenital deformities..." Gu Xiaoying said here I couldn't help but take a breath and shrunk my shoulders, and then I continued to answer in a serious manner with my fingers, "As for the man, it seems that he will be touched by the doctor, and then he will be touched by himself, and finally get some suspected '84 disinfectant' Come out to test the liquid, check the quality..."

"84 Disinfectant?" Xu Xin's eyes widened, "How could there be '84 Disinfectant'?" "Gu Xiaoying, don't spoil the children," Duan Fei laughed and patted Gu Xiaoying, "Our family is still a girl." "Haha, yes, I almost forgot, girl," Gu Xiaoying pointed at Xu Xin unkindly and laughed, "You are a girl, hahaha..." "Gu Xiaoying!" Xu Xin gritted her teeth, "Don't expose my scars! Let me tell you, I'm jealous when I see two mosquitoes getting together now, don't make me anxious, I'll bury your housekeeper alive, Make you a little widow!"

"Oh, let's forget it, you are so picky and say you are in a hurry, who will believe it?" Gu Xiaoying made a disdainful expression, "Tch, a pale life that has never been exposed to '84 disinfectant', alas ...It's really pale..." Xu Xin didn't care whether he was walking on the street, and rushed towards him with a howl.The three of them laughed and quarreled, it seems that only when they are so lively can they forget each other's troubles - but after a few years of graduation, fate has drawn a completely different trajectory for each of them: those who are not married want to get married, but they can't find it. To find a suitable marriage partner; those who have not had children want to have children, but they are separated by 400 kilometers from their own men; those who are married and have children are separated, but it is difficult to get married again... In the world, Who is not troubled?Who can never worry?

Also that night, Gu Xiaoying suddenly woke up from her sleep. It was late at night, and I didn't know the exact time, but Gu Xiaoying seemed to have heard something, so she opened her eyes in a daze.However, the moment her vision gradually became clear, she suddenly gasped - unexpectedly, there was someone in front of the bed? ! Her heart constricted in an instant, she half-closed her eyes, and carefully observed the dark figure in front of the bed, she seemed to see the figure move and looked in her direction, she hurriedly closed her eyes again in fear.After a while, she secretly opened her eyes, and saw the figure start walking towards the living room.At this time, her consciousness was so clear that it couldn't be clearer. Almost in the shortest time, she thought that the person must have climbed in from the balcony, and the possibility of burglary was extremely high.Her brain was running fast, and she remembered that there was a laptop on the desk beside her bed, and that there was her handbag in the hallway, which contained mobile phones, wallets, various bank cards, and stored value cards... Her heart was raging in the dark Struggling: What should I do, should I make some noise?Do you fight the gangsters, or pretend you didn't see anything?Do you want to "break the money and avoid disaster"?But how can I be reconciled - there is still a paper I just finished writing in my laptop, if it is stolen, I can't even find a backup...

While struggling like this, she had subconsciously turned over, pretending to be talking in her sleep.But it was so strange that the burglar who broke into the house was not afraid, and still walked towards the living room on his own.Gu Xiaoying was a little anxious and wanted to get up, but she couldn't get up?She didn't know what was wrong with herself, her hands and feet seemed to be out of order, she clearly knew that the thieves were not far away, but she didn't even have the ability to shout... Just when she was staring at the thief's back with wide eyes, suddenly the man turned around, and the moment their eyes collided, Gu Xiaoying's heart constricted suddenly, and then...then she didn't know anything up. When she woke up from the dream again, it was about eight o'clock in the morning, and the sun shone through the curtains. She sat up straight almost as soon as she opened her eyes.She clearly remembered the dream of the night before, she jumped out of bed without thinking, first looked at the laptop on the desk—it was still in place, and then went to the entrance to check her bag—and was not moved She was a little puzzled, and went to the balcony to have a look. All the windows were closed.Gu Xiaoying stood in the room in a daze, looking at the morning light, reaching out to touch her heart, still feeling palpitations.In the dream, the fear of wanting to speak but not being able to, and the entanglement of the inner struggle are all vivid, but is it just a dream? Gu Xiaoying finally felt a strong fear for the first time. At this time, Gu Xiaoying finally had to admit that she had some signs of obsessive-compulsive disorder - living alone for a whole year, fear was like two hands, tightly strangling her throat. In fact, in the first days when Guan Tong went to the countryside to take a second job, Gu Xiaoying was very happy about Guan Tong's departure: there was no need to cook, wash shirts, or adapt to another person's life rhythm. For women, it is very easy and pleasant. But as she lived alone, she began to feel lonely and lonely: no one quarrels with you, no one talks to you, no one makes you have the urge to cook a big dinner, and of course no one will share your happiness , and give you meticulous warmth and happiness.The ancients said, "It is easy to go from frugality to extravagance, but it is difficult to go from luxury to frugality." Now, Gu Xiaoying understands the meaning of this sentence - even if you are used to loneliness and loneliness, you will soon be infected by the warmth of family affection; but Once you get used to the warmth of the family, when you leave again, that kind of loneliness will be more like a sharp knife. Gradually, she began to be afraid: she got used to locking the safety door twice before going to bed at night, closing all the windows tightly, and drawing all the curtains.Later on, she even started putting curtains over the window sill and pressing another glass on top of the curtains.But even so, on a windy night, when she heard the howling outside the window, she was still afraid.She began to go to sleep with apprehension every night, and before going to sleep, she always comforted herself by saying, "Gu Xiaoying, I hope you can see the sun tomorrow morning"... She never mentioned this kind of experience to others, even Guan Tong. She didn't know what was wrong with her—even though she didn't think Guan Tong had the ability to fight the gangsters and win a complete victory, she still slept very peacefully during the limited few nights when he went home.On those nights, she hugged the arm of the person beside her, listening to the lightning and thunder outside the window or the howling of the north wind, feeling warm and comfortable.Before she goes to bed, she always lies on Guan Tong's chest and takes a deep breath, as if the breath of a man is enough to give her courage... Guan Tong may not be able to notice these. But the shock that this nightmare brought to Gu Xiaoying was huge - she walked around the house throughout the day, nervously inspecting the latches of every window.As long as she remembered the dream at night, she felt that the family was in danger.She has been absent-minded all day, and her heart and palms are wet and cold. This kind of fear and grievance finally swelled to the maximum when Guan Tong called at night - when Guan Tong asked "How is today" as usual, Gu Xiaoying couldn't hold back the tension of the day and burst into tears. On the other side of the phone, the phone in Guan Tong's hand was almost frightened, and he called out in a hurry: "Xiaoying, Xiaoying, don't cry, what happened? You are talking..." As he asked, Gu Xiaoying kept crying for an unknown amount of time. In short, when Gu Xiaoying's fear was temporarily vented, more than half of Guan Tong's three souls and seven souls were frightened away. Mechanical question: "What's the matter, don't cry, what happened, tell me quickly, don't scare me." Gu Xiaoying then started talking about the nightmare last night, and then talked about the fear brought about by living alone this year. While she was talking, Guan Tong became more silent. This is the first time, Guan Tong knew that, in the past year, besides loneliness and loneliness, she was also afraid. It was also the first time that Guan Tong felt that he had really done something wrong. I can't remember how long it took, Gu Xiaoying cried enough, sobbing, she asked Guan Tong: "Guan Tong, we want a baby, okay?" His thinking was too jumpy, and Guan Tong almost didn't keep up, but the two years of training had at least strengthened his psychological quality, so he could calmly ask, "You're scared yourself, won't you be more scared if you have one more child?" Gu Xiaoying sobbed again: "Don't be afraid, with a child by my side, I am a strong mother, so I don't have to worry about myself." Guan Tong felt that this logic was very strange, but he couldn't tell what was so strange, so he could only comfort his wife: "Come on, I'm really going back soon..." "Guan Tong, there's still one year left, and I'm about to lose it," Gu Xiaoying cried again as she spoke. While crying, she remembered the fear of last night and the palpitations of waking up in the morning. Gradually took on a howling hoarseness, "Guan Tong, I really can't take it anymore. I thought I could do it, I thought I was strong and brave, but in fact I'm cowardly, I'm afraid of being alone. I lack security Feeling, do you understand?" At this time, Guan Tong's heart finally burst out with convulsive pain - he seemed to know that the home he thought gave him warmth and support, to Gu Xiaoying, turned out to be just an empty house.But as a man, he couldn't give his wife the most basic sense of security... Before that, he never knew that he was so dereliction of duty! Finally, after a while of silence, he said: "Okay, I'll go back on the weekend, let's go for a checkup and have a baby." Gu Xiaoying was stunned. Across the phone line, Gu Xiaoying didn't know what Guan Tong's expression was at this time.But it seemed from his voice that he had a strong sense of guilt that drove him to make this decision that he had been steadfastly unwilling to make. After being married for two years, it seems that there is no love or no love, but at that moment, Gu Xiaoying knew that on the road of marriage, love means mutual attachment, mutual respect, mutual support... and real mutual love.