Chapter 2 second quarter

Just after discussing the topic of having a baby with Guan Tong, Gu Xiaoying received a call from her father-in-law Guan Liming the next afternoon. When it comes to Guan Liming, it's really hard to describe...Anyway, let's put it this way: I have been the housekeeper's daughter-in-law for more than two years, and Gu Xiaoying likes her mother-in-law Xie Jiarong the most. Although she can't read, she is gentle, has a good temper, and doesn't talk much; The most worrying thing is his father-in-law Guan Liming. Although he is a nice person, he treats her Gu Xiaoying pretty well. He has seen a little bit of the world when he went out to work in his early years, but the scary thing is that he always feels that what he has seen is a big world. There are more bridges than the young couple combined, so they always like to point and point in everything, and once they are denied, they will be furious and chatter. is depressed.

This time it was like this again. As soon as Gu Xiaoying picked it up, she heard Guan Liming's voice: "Xiaoying, I heard from Guan Tong that you haven't repaid the loan yet? It's really impossible to let your mother go to work and earn some money to subsidize you Bar." At that time, Gu Xiaoying was still arranging the class timetable for the new semester in the department office. When she heard this, Gu Xiaoying was taken aback. She quickly withdrew from a group of teachers, hid at the corner of the stairs and asked, "Dad, what did you say?" "I said that there is a leather bag processing factory in the village, and your mother is going to do some work and give you subsidies." Guan Liming was worried, "I heard from Guan Tong that you took a loan of 180,000? 180,000! Then What a huge sum of money! We farmers have never seen 180,000 yuan in our old age! How long do you think it will take you to pay it back!"

Guan Liming sighed a series of times, and Gu Xiaoying felt baffled—isn't it just 180,000 yuan?Not 1.8 million!That nouveau riche Xu Xin has to buy a small penthouse of more than 10,000 per square meter, and he only has a loan of 180,000. As for making Guan Tong and his father worry about this? Seeing that Gu Xiaoying was silent, Guan Liming asked loudly, "Are you right, Xiaoying? I told Guan Tong a long time ago that your house is small now, and we are old. Add you two. Adding a child is enough to live in. What kind of house do you think you want to buy? Just buy it, and buy it that big. I heard that there are three rooms? Can you live in it? Guan Tong also said that there is a special room A room for books, where do you think the books can’t be put? Put them in boxes, on the ground, or on shelves. If you can’t let them go, just pile them up against the wall, and make a separate room? You young people, you’re too good at living. ..."

"Dad, Dad, listen to me," Gu Xiaoying felt dizzy when she talked to Guan Liming, so she had to try her best to suppress her impatience and speak the truth, "Dad, Guan Tong has more than 50,000 yuan a year." My salary is more than 40,000 yuan a year, plus I still have manuscript fees. In fact, even if we eat and drink, we can pay off the loan in at most three or four years. The reason why we have a five-year loan is that we don’t want to make ourselves so tired... " "Oh, why are young people nowadays so incapable of suffering!" Guan Liming was very angry, and the consequences were very serious. "We have been farming, working, and carrying bricks for others all our lives, and we didn't feel tired! When your mother was pregnant with Guan Tong, I was still working in the fields until the day I gave birth, and I didn’t feel tired! How much work you have done, and you can make money sitting at home every day, are you afraid of being tired?”

Gu Xiaoying couldn't hold back any longer: "Father, not only physical labor is called labor, but mental labor is also hard, okay? If we work so hard to earn some money, if we don't hurry up to spend it and enjoy it, we will be exhausted. You can't take money in the coffin." Years of combat experience told Gu Xiaoying that it is useless to swallow your anger when talking to Guan Liming. Anyway, you will have to listen to him quarreling, nagging, and scolding in the end, so hurry up and say what you want to say, and say a little bit, so as not to waste time. Stuffing herself to death—even though she knew it, it was useless whether she said it or not, because Guan Liming was so stubborn, he only believed in his own theory, and he couldn't listen to what others said.

Sure enough, Guan Liming became angry: "What kind of enjoyment are you enjoying? How old are you? You can enjoy it before your hair grows! I have never enjoyed it at such an old age!" "Father, we bought the house so that you can enjoy the life in the city." Gu Xiaoying was almost choked by him, so she tried to restrain herself and said, "The city is very convenient. You came here for a short time last time. I don’t feel it, I’ll know when I stay longer. Why don’t so many people want to be city dwellers? It’s because it’s comfortable! Dad, you and mom have worked so hard to train Guan Tong, so why don’t you come out soon? Two good days? If you get familiar with city life earlier, won’t it be convenient to take care of your children in the future?”

Gu Xiaoying knew that she could only bring up the topic of "children" with Guan Liming, because even though Guan Liming was anxious when this topic was mentioned, she would be very happy. Sure enough, Guan Liming was relieved when he heard this sentence, and his tone softened a lot: "Are you planning to have a child? Okay, hurry up! Guan Tong is thirty-six, and it's too late to have another child." .” Gu Xiaoying rolled her eyes, wondering if there is such a thing as burying her own son?What is "too late"?There was a smile on his lips: "Father, Guan Tong is only five and a half years older than me, but strictly speaking, he is only thirty-three and a half years old this year!"

"It's two years old in the countryside!" Guan Liming is actually very angry. He feels that it is difficult to communicate with this daughter-in-law. He also wonders. When we first met, I thought this child was quite obedient. How come the days passed? How about going together? Gu Xiaoying finally fell silent, and she couldn't help but think of the words Guan Tong once said: We worked so hard to get out, so that our descendants can receive better education in the city and see a bigger world , why use rural standards to demand yourself? When hearing this sentence for the first time, Gu Xiaoying admitted that she was shocked.She grew up in a honey pot, never tasted the hardships of life, and couldn't imagine how hard it is for a rural child to jump out of the farm.But now she knows that even if she is shocked by the difficulty of Guan Tong's struggle, she can't expect Guan Liming to relax on this issue-because over the years, he has become accustomed to thinking about problems in the countryside, and he firmly Firmly rooted in the land, simple but also stubborn.

Hearing that Gu Xiaoying hadn't moved, Guan Liming finally calmed down a bit, and asked in a more relaxed tone, "How did you arrange for the Mid-Autumn Festival? What about the National Day?" Since the two families have always spent the Mid-Autumn Festival together after marriage, Gu Xiaoying answered naturally: "Dad, come over to celebrate the festival, and we can also look at the newly bought house together." But the house is fine. When it comes to the house, Guan Liming starts to worry about the "180,000" again: "Forget it, we won't go, your mother is so motion sick, go to die once, don't go! I don't think you should go!" I’m back, and it costs five hundred yuan to make a round trip, save some money and pay back the loan sooner!”

Gu Xiaoying was really helpless, so she had to explain: "We can really pay back the 180,000, Dad..." Guan Liming ignored Gu Xiaoying, and still said to himself: "I don't think you will go back to your parents' place on National Day. Your place is farther away. Isn't it enough to go back for 500? Save it too." When Gu Xiaoying heard this, she exploded again: What kind of talk is this!You don't miss your son, but I still miss my parents!My parents still miss me!I don't spend your money, so why do you care about me? ! Grinding teeth, grinding teeth, continuing to grind teeth... until Guan Liming finally put down the phone, Gu Xiaoying could not wait to cry up to the sky: Crazy!Crazy! !Go crazy! ! !

Because of her anger, Gu Xiaoying felt that her head was on fire, and she urgently needed to find someone to vent her grievances!After wandering around in the corridor for a few times, I finally met Jiang Yueyang, an eternal cannon fodder who was sent to his door automatically. , who was originally a full-time counselor in the Graduate School, was promoted to the Youth League Committee of the school last year and became the Deputy Secretary of the Youth League Committee.This afternoon, he was passing the teaching building and came in to find the bathroom because of internal urgency, but he was so unlucky that he ran into Gu Xiaoying who was breathing fire in the corridor. Jiang Yueyang didn't know that he was going to be "sprayed" soon, so he greeted him with a smile: "Mr. Gu, what are you hanging around the door of the men's room? Playing 'Eighteen Lovers'?" "Don't look for trouble, it's annoying!" Gu Xiaoying squinted at Jiang Yueyang, annoyed. "Huh?" Jiang Yueyang stood still and asked curiously, "Who messed with you?" "Guan Tong's father." Gu Xiaoying was impatient. "How did your father-in-law offend you?" "He's nosy," Gu Xiaoying couldn't help grinding her teeth when she thought about it, "He said that our loan of 180,000 yuan was an astronomical figure, and he couldn't sleep at night with worries. Let me repay the loan as soon as possible in order to save money. Don't go home to see my parents. Hey, what do you think it's his business to see my parents? It doesn't cost him money!" "You tell him that if you don't spend any money when you go home, it's over," Jiang Yueyang disagreed, "You just say that your parents miss you so much that they bought all the tickets to go home and sent them here. Let's see what he says. Tch, What a big deal!" Gu Xiaoying was stunned for a moment, half of her anger was extinguished in an instant, and after a while, she looked Jiang Yueyang up and down and said, "Yeah, why didn't I expect...Mr. Jiang, you have made a lot of progress in the past two years!" "Hehe, it's mainly because my mother called me just now," Jiang Yueyang sighed, "My mother said that if I don't go home to see her, she will send me two round-trip tickets to go home. She said she I don’t believe it, I can’t go back after all the travel expenses are reimbursed. In fact, I don’t want to go back. Isn’t it the summer vacation that I take the students to teach? , My summer vacation has been wasted." "Uh, Mr. Jiang," Gu Xiaoying looked around, suddenly smiled wickedly, put her finger to her mouth to make a silent movement, and then made a very unkind voice, "Shhhhhh ...Shhh..." Jiang Yueyang was stunned for a moment, and immediately said "Gu Xiaoying, you wait" bitterly, and rushed into the men's toilet behind Gu Xiaoying.Seeing his impatient look, Gu Xiaoying leaned against the corridor wall and laughed. When Jiang Yueyang came out of the bathroom, he saw that Gu Xiaoying was still smiling, and threw a splash of water on her face angrily: "Boring! It's okay to go home and have a baby, don't leave it here to cause trouble!" "Wow!" Gu Xiaoying scratched Jiang Yueyang a few times desperately, "Unmarried people are not allowed to mention this to me!" "I'm free if I'm not married!" Jiang Yueyang asked while resisting Gu Xiaoying's attack, "I'll treat you to dinner tonight." "Hey, are you so kind?" Gu Xiaoying was very surprised, "Did you pick up money?" "Am I that stingy?" Jiang Yueyang glanced at Gu Xiaoying, "I see that you are relatively free, so I can comfort you." "I'm not free. I'm going to see Guoguo at Senior Sister Duan Fei's house tonight." Gu Xiaoying was elated when she thought of the two-year-old Guoguo. After the dormitory in the Polytechnic University was renovated, she moved back, and her parents also came to help her look after the children." "Is she still alone?" Jiang Yueyang and Duan Fei's ex-husband Meng Xu live in the same building, and they are both teachers of the art college, so they know a lot about the whole story of their divorce, and know that Duan Fei was in that house back then Li "caught her husband and a third party in bed", so after the divorce, she would rather live in her cousin Xu Xin's house than return to her own house. Jiang Yueyang thought for a while, and added: "Actually, Meng Xu and that third party have also separated." "That's inevitable," Gu Xiaoying said angrily, "That girl was with Meng Xu for the purpose of taking Meng Xu's postgraduate entrance examination, but she was more beautiful, so she could roll on the bed. Graduated from a prestigious school, and went to the big city to start a new life, it's no wonder that Meng Xu was not kicked out." "Don't plan to remarry?" Jiang Yueyang always felt a little sad when he thought of Xiao Guoguo, whom he hadn't seen for a long time. "It's not good if the child grows up without his father by his side." He seemed to sigh slightly when he said this.Gu Xiaoying looked up at him, smiled and said: "Let's just let it go, it will always get better and better, right?" Jiang Yueyang nodded, and Gu Xiaoying turned her head to look out the window: In the lush summer, everything is full of vitality, but why, in her heart, there is always a faint worry? The one Gu Xiaoying was worried about was actually Duan Fei. Since the divorce, Duan Fei's condition... How should I put it, looks very good: still smiling amiably, he is also capable and neat when he is busy with work, his skirts are fluttering, and his dress is becoming more and more modern day by day—or it can be said After the divorce, Duan Fei is even more beautiful, young, and fashionable than when she was studying at the Art Academy or working at the Polytechnic University after graduating from university! However, when the insider saw it in his heart, he felt even more distressed—this is clearly a deliberate emphasis, as if to use some obvious indifference to emphasize the existence of some happiness, and to try to show some youth that has not faded away— You clearly know that after taking off these glamorous disguises, the wounds still haven't healed. How could it be possible to heal so quickly... After all, it was a marriage that was intended to be entrusted to her for the rest of her life, a marriage that was lost overnight, and Guoguo's father would never grow up with her again. Seeing Duan Fei like this, Gu Xiaoying was anxious, but she couldn't show it. Occasionally, she talked with Xu Xin on the phone, and both of them sighed through the phone line, feeling that this problem was more difficult than imagined. Not long after the divorce, Duan Fei started blind dates one after another. During that time, she always happily went to strange appointments, and then came back with an indifferent expression—she told Gu Xiaoying and Xu Xin that we can only win the war if we pay attention to the enemy tactically and despise the enemy strategically ! Gu Xiaoying and Xu Xin were worried - they really wanted to say that love is not a war, and no one wins or loses, but they couldn't say this, so they could only spend their time anxiously and apprehensively. By this time they already knew that sometimes, some things are like minefields and cannot be touched. Even if it is well-intentioned, it is not acceptable. In this case, one day, Guoguo suddenly fell ill. At the beginning, it was just a low-grade fever and anorexia. Duan Fei used physical methods to cool Guoguo, but there was no obvious effect. At night, he felt something was wrong. When he lifted his clothes, he saw large and small red spots. It didn’t take long It becomes a small transparent blister. If it was normal, even if Duan Fei couldn't remember what he looked like when he had chickenpox, but thinking about it by analogy, he should be able to think that it was chickenpox.But in the middle of the night, a single woman with a child, it was difficult to keep calm. Duan Fei was in a hurry, rushed over and patted Xu Xin's door, crying, "Xin Xin, Xin Xin, wake up, Guoguo is sick!" Xu Xin was sleeping upside down, was woken up by Duan Fei, and sat up from the bed in fright, after hearing what Duan Fei said, she didn't bother to put on her slippers, grabbed a pajamas and went to Duan Fei Run around the house.Along the way, I bumped into the corner of the sofa and the closet. I didn't even care about the pain. I almost threw myself in front of Guoguo's little bed. Under the light, I saw that Guoguo's body was covered with small clear blisters that seemed to burst at any time. There is still a light red halo.Guoguo cried while twisting her body, and unconsciously scratched her body with her hands. Duan Fei hurriedly fixed her hands, fearing that she would scratch the blisters and get infected. Xu Xin was sweating profusely, and asked Duan Fei, "What is this?" Duan Fei was crying with tears in his eyes, he had already lost his mind: "I don't know, I've never seen it before." Xu Xin took a deep breath, stood up and told Duan Fei: "Sister, you carry Guoguo, I'll go downstairs and start the car, we'll go to the hospital right away." Duan Fei nodded at a bewilderment, stretched out his hands in a panic to wipe away his tears, and hurriedly wrapped Guoguo in a small quilt, worrying about breaking the blisters while wrapping it up, tears still fell from his eyes. The two women rushed Guoguo to the hospital in such a hurry - at two o'clock in the morning, there were not many cars on the road, so Xu Xin dared to rush forward at a speed that he would never dare to speed up on weekdays.Fortunately, the nearest traditional Chinese medicine hospital was only a few stops away from where the two lived, and it arrived in the blink of an eye.When rushing into the door of the emergency room, Duan Fei's legs and feet were weak and he was almost tripped.It was Xu Xin who held her up and led her to run in the long corridor. In the corridor full of traditional Chinese medicine, under the lonely white light, two distraught women staggered forward with a small child in their arms... It took a long time to see such a scene, and when Xu Xin thought of it again, he couldn't help but feel like he was dying. I felt uncontrollable desolation and fear welling up from the bottom of my heart. By then, Xu Xin had already married another woman.But every time she thinks of Duan Fei that night, that woman with disheveled hair and eyes so terrified that she can't focus... Xu Xin can't help shivering, leaning towards the man beside him, almost muttering: "Don't abandon me." The man beside him comforted her in a daze: "You pessimistic child, why would I not want you..." Such heart-warming love words had been spoken for many years before Xu Xin's anxiety was gradually dispelled. Many years later, Xu Xin admitted that she thought she was strong enough, but in essence she was still an insecure child.She is afraid of being alone, afraid of being hurt, and afraid of all unknown challenges and puzzles... She tries hard to find a good example from herself, but there are few cases of calm in marriage. She seemed to know that other people's marriages, no matter if they were affectionate or incompatible, were ultimately theirs. In the section that belongs to her, no one has the right to speak except herself. That night was spent in the panic of Duan Fei and Xu Xin. Although the doctor who treated Guoguo was not very old, he obviously had seen it a lot. He lifted the quilt and looked at it and judged: "Chickenpox, it's okay, it will scab over in three or four days, and you will be immune for life if you survive it." gone." Before he could finish speaking, a nurse outside shouted, "Dr. Du, come and take a look here..." "Understood!" The doctor in front of him answered while lowering his head and writing the prescription quickly, and at the same time told Duan Fei, "Take care of the child, don't let her scratch, little girl, you won't be pretty if you leave a scar. I have a fever now, it's better Or adhere to the physical method of reducing fever, use ice pillows, cold towels for cold compresses, drink plenty of water, do not use drugs to reduce fever, there will be side effects. Eat more protein-rich foods, do not eat grilled, fried, spicy foods, bread is also Don't give it to the child, I'll prescribe you some anti-itching medicine, and after I go home, I'll give the child a bubble bath..." Along the way, Duan Fei just took the prescription, the doctor in front of him has already passed by them like a gust of wind, and rushed out the door. In the consulting room with back and forth, Duan Fei looked up at the doctor's back, then at Xu Xin beside him, and couldn't help it, tears streaming down his face. That night, after soaking in the medicinal bath, Guoguo finally fell asleep.Duan Fei let out a long breath, fell on the bed, looked at Guoguo's sleeping face, but couldn't fall asleep himself. Excessive fatigue means that the body becomes heavier and the mind becomes clearer—but what a terrible thing it is to be awake, because when you are awake, you will think of the past that you want to forget but cannot forget. This is an information society. Even after divorce, Duan Fei still has countless ways to get news about Meng Xu—to this day, she still visits Meng Xu's blog from time to time.It was an academic blog through and through, and the content in it could not be updated once in two or three months, but the number of views was not low, and almost every article had more than a thousand times.There are often students who leave messages, most of which are respectful greetings, but Meng Xu doesn't reply very much, and rarely mentions his own life. But God knows, how much Duan Fei wanted to know about Meng Xu—what happened to him and that third party?Haven't they been morally condemned?Did Meng Xu's hard-to-serve mother applaud when she heard the news of their divorce, or did she feel nostalgic?Has Meng Xu never missed his own daughter at all?Did he forget his first wife... At the end, Duan Fei had to admit in despair: even if he hadn't forgotten Duan Fei, she was a past tense in his life after all.The current Meng Xu always stares ahead and rarely looks back—but, such a Meng Xu was created by her, Duan Fei. When she was thinking like this, it was as if there was a hand in her body that tore her heart into pieces. She always involuntarily recalled the time when they met—at that time, she had just graduated from university and had just gone to work as a counselor at a polytechnic university.She went on a blind date with him, he was so old-fashioned, yet so knowledgeable.She was conquered by his talent and fell in love almost in the shortest time.She accompanied him through his Ph.D., graduated with him, and suggested that he go to teach at her alma mater.They got married soon, and lived such a sweet life, and later had a daughter, what a happy family they were! So, she didn't understand, what kind of raging emotions were needed in that derailment to make a man abandon everything? And that girl—Duan Fei even remembered that he said to Gu Xiaoying a long time ago, "Some girls just like men who dominate others, because most married men have been cultivated by their wives enough interest, not jerky, proficient enough".She was still smiling when she said these words, because at that time, she never believed that such a thing would happen to herself! But how ironic the reality is, such a girl actually smashed Duan Fei's marriage to pieces! she hates. When she couldn't sleep at night, she cursed the pair of dogs and men to die a terrible death! ! However, she also regretted it. When she calmed down, she knew that she was also at fault. It was she herself who pushed the marriage to the edge of the cliff with her own hands—Meng Xu was right, at this age, who can change much for whom?The things she forced him to change, whether it was living habits, attitudes towards the world, goals in life, direction of walking... Those things did not belong to her, so they would eventually become someone else's. In the first half of her life, she was too strong. She is used to deciding whether something is right or wrong, but she never asks the people around her: Do you think this thing is right or wrong?What do you think is better? In the final analysis, a "good husband" can be formed by his own hard work, it can be influenced by the running-in of life, and it can also be influenced by his wife's favorable situation, but it is definitely not forged by a strong posture. But it was too late—it was too late when she had lost everything. A thirty-year-old woman with a child, she thought chillingly: Maybe she is not even as good as a cup of overnight tea. Not long ago, Duan Fei took Guoguo to play at Gu Xiaoying’s house, and saw Gu Xiaoying watching Kieslowski’s "Blue": a strong philosophical meaning, less dialogue, a lot of natural sounds, telling a story about life. And the story of freedom——a woman lost her husband and child in an accidental car accident, and when she woke up, she faced a world that had become a prison for her, with blue water, blue crystal lamps, The husband's unfinished blue score... crossed in the warm red-toned shot, it is both a call to freedom and a bondage of freedom.Kirovsky himself once said: "Blue", "White" and "Red" trilogy, like the meaning of the three colors of the French flag, symbolize freedom, equality and fraternity in turn. But that day, Duan Fei sat quietly in front of the TV, and noticed another clue in the film: the woman jumped into the blue swimming pool again and again, and escaped from the blue prison again and again.She struggled with complicated emotions for so long, and finally chose to complete her husband's legacy, and left the country house she wanted to sell to her husband's pregnant lover, and then left—to her new home. The beginning of life is also the burial of all memories of the past. Duan Fei stared blankly at the TV screen. In the close-up shot, a woman with a sad face stared blankly at a string of blue crystal lights. When the wind blew, Duan Fei felt that she could even hear the crystal crystals colliding. From time to time, it is as crisp as a wind chime. And at that moment, Duan Fei's world seemed to have only this sound left, which represented memories, love, all the beautiful past and all the spiritual struggles of today - she let Guoguo under Guan Tong's care Running around the room, Gu Xiaoying teased the child back and forth, laughing happily, but Duan Fei ignored it. After a long time, until Gu Xiaoying was tired from playing, she went to sit next to her, looked at her expression, and interrupted casually: "Senior sister, change the disc, I don't like Kieslowski." Duan Fei didn't speak, just lowered his head and pressed the stop button on the remote control.Ren Gu Xiaoying put on a cartoon disc, and then waved at Guoguo: "Girl, come to Godmother's place to watch cartoons!" Guoguo likes Gu Xiaoying very much, and has already thrown herself into her arms in a hurry, and the two of them got into a mess while watching TV.But Duan Fei still sat quietly on the sofa, watching the TV screen, without any movement, expression, or sound... Sensitive as Gu Xiaoying, seeing that such interruptions could not drag her out of the silent atmosphere, she simply said: "Senior sister, in fact, Kieslowski is right, forget, you can be free. Can't let go of yourself , is the greatest bondage." Duan Fei finally reacted. She raised her head and gave Gu Xiaoying a mixed smile, she said: "But what should I do, little junior sister, art is great, but I'm just a mortal, I can't forget, so I can't be free." When she said this, her expression was calm, and her eyes were as silent as a bottomless pool of water, which made the hopes in Gu Xiaoying's heart drop in an instant, sinking straight into the bottomless abyss.