Chapter 18 Chapter Seventeen

Years later, Mu Xin officially reported to the Youth League Committee.There, at the age of 31, she was no longer young, but because of the existence of a group of young people, she miraculously regained the momentum that had been lost for a long time. It is a small but capable team—there are only more than 30 civil servants in the whole unit, but they are responsible for projects including Hope Project, youth entrepreneurship, various training, Youth Federation activities, volunteer services, youth rights protection, etc. Various jobs.Large-scale events are often carried out. When you are busy, one person has to undertake all the work of a large-scale event from planning, invitation, outreach, sponsorship, conference affairs to summary.There, once the project is finalized and carried out, phone calls are made one after another, reports are issued one after another, and all kinds of "emergencies" have to be dealt with... Everyone wishes to grow eight hands .

It was also at that time that Mu Xin finally knew that there was a reason why some young regiment cadres were promoted so quickly—there were no idlers on this platform, and everyone had to keep an eye on six roads and listen to all directions, and their growth rate was often higher than that of civil servants of the same age. The Propaganda Department that Mu Xin belongs to has only three people: a minister, a deputy minister, and a chief staff member.On the day Mu Xin went to report for duty, the chief staff member was away on a business trip, so as the deputy minister, she didn't have much time to familiarize herself with the work. On the same day, the minister dragged her to participate in award-giving activities one by one, and threw her a SLR camera before departure, asking her not to I forgot to take pictures of the venue so that I can sort out the information on the Internet after returning to the office.Mu Xin had never touched such a high-end camera in her life, so she had to drag the media reporters in the venue to ask questions.What a coincidence, I met the intern that Chu Hang had voiced.

At that time, the intern had already become an official reporter of the provincial newspaper. When he saw Mu Xin, he was afraid of making a mistake, so he didn't dare to say hello.It wasn't until Mu Xin sat next to her when she took her seat, and asked her for advice pitifully, that the reporter girl hesitated and asked, "Are you Sister Mu?" The reporter girl was very happy: "Sister, you don't know me, but I know you. There is a picture of you on our director's desk." She didn't mention Chu Hangsheng's name, but Mu Xi still suddenly realized. The reporter girl was very enthusiastic, and while teaching Mu Xin how to use the camera, she said: "I really envy our director. He is good at business and always wins awards. If he wants to take a doctorate exam, he can pass the exam right away. I am so happy to go to school with my salary! National Day During the Spring Festival, he came back and invited us to dinner, and he said that he would go to Japan for an exchange after the next year, spring in Japan, cherry blossoms, hot springs, ukiyo-e, snowflakes, beef...my mouth is watering."

Mu Xin couldn't help but look at the reporter Gu Niang beside her, wondering how she got from the elegant Ukiyo-e to Snowflake Niuyou?She had to interrupt the other party's more and more fantastic fantasies, and humbly asked for advice: "Our minister said that we want to take pictures of the leaders' speeches, but their mouths keep moving, and it's not easy to take pictures when they talk. How can we make better pictures? So hideous?" "There is no good way, let's shoot continuously, take more shots, and you can always pick out a few good ones," the girl spread her hands, "I don't know your mechanism style, but the easiest way is to shoot wildly no matter who talks, as long as you remember It’s OK if the card and battery can hold up!”

Mu Xin was right when he thought about it, so he waved to the reporter girl, and moved to the front row to find his minister.It was not until he returned to the office after the meeting that Mu Xin loaded the photos into the computer while thinking: Has Chu Hangsheng returned for the National Day?He is going to Japan?Yes, the cherry blossoms are about to bloom. He is really a lucky person who lives his life so vividly... At that time, Mu Xin did not expect that one night not long after, she would receive a call from Su Guifang. On the phone, Su Guifang told Mu Xin: "Xi Xin, have you watched TV? There is an earthquake in Japan."

Mu Xin's head suddenly tripled in size! "It says on TV that it's the east, and I don't know if he's going to the east or not, but he can't get through on his cell phone." Su Guifang tried hard to calm down, "Xin Xin, can you come? Your uncle and I are here at the newspaper office. " "I'll be right there." Mu Xin put down the phone and went out.At that time, she lived in the dormitory of the Youth League Committee, a two-bedroom house, and shared with an unmarried girl from the rights and interests department.When I was going out, I happened to meet a girl and her boyfriend saying goodbye at the door. Mu Xin lowered her head and hurried past, feeling that there was a mass of anxiety, fear, and fear in her heart, which made her nose sore.

Until getting into the rough car and looking at the lights of thousands of houses in the city, Mu Xin subconsciously touched the two bright crystals on her earlobes. For the first time, she felt that they were so heavy that they weighed heavily. out of breath.She couldn't help thinking sadly: Chu Hangsheng, I haven't seen you for a long time, if you can't come back, even if I don't throw away a wedding ring that belongs to me, won't you have the chance to see me wear it again... Thinking wildly all the way to the door of Chu Hangsheng's house, as soon as she knocked on the door, Su Guifang opened the door from the inside. When she saw Mu Xin, her eye circles turned red, and she held Mu Xin's hand tightly, and pulled her into the room.

Mu Xin greeted Chu Hangsheng's father who was sitting in the room frowning, and asked anxiously, "Have you contacted the embassy?" "I've called, let's wait for the news." Su Guifang took a deep breath and looked at Mu Xin seriously, "Did he tell you which cities you are going to?" "No." Mu Xin bit her lower lip sadly—it's true, she didn't start to sleep until now, why didn't she contact him?Why the indifference to his life for a year?Although she often thinks of him, the complex feelings in her heart keep coming and going, making her always give up every time she wants to contact him. In fact, he is right, and he shouldn't bear too much pressure that should be done. She didn't even dare to think, in the dead of night, would Chu dirty sound think of her, would she feel sad?

Mu Xin lowered her head, not knowing what to say anymore, she just silently took the glass of water handed over by Su Guifang, walked to a corner of the living room, turned on her computer, and logged into her own~ But there was also silence. She seemed to realize only then that he hadn't left a message for her on QQ for a long time, and his text messages were getting less and less. That night passed slowly in this kind of anxiety and remorse, when the first ray of light in the morning When she appeared, Mu Xin raised her head from the computer, turned her stiff neck, looked back at Su Guifang who had been staring at the phone tightly, and continued to persuade: "Auntie, you go to sleep for a while, I am here, I am Cleared the leave to the unit."

Chu Hangsheng's father sighed deeply, finally stood up, and patted Su Guifang's hand: "Go to sleep, otherwise the child will be fine, and if you get tired again, the world will be in chaos." Su Guifang just got up and went into the bedroom with her husband.Looking at the back of the two elders, Mu Xi felt an uncontrollable sadness in his heart. However, until the old couple woke up after a short sleep, Su Guifang hurried to the living room and asked, "Is there a phone number?" She was greeted only by Mu Xin's tired expression—she raised her head slowly. , shaking his head slowly.

Su Guifang sat down on the sofa in disappointment. She covered her face, wondering if she was crying.Mu Xin got up and went to the bathroom to wash her face with cold water for the umpteenth time, and heard her father comforting her wife behind her, saying, "It's okay, everything will be fine." Mu Xi had a sore nose when he heard the words, and a transparent liquid fell into the washbasin with a "clack". On this day, time slowed down as if frozen. No one had any appetite at noon, and Mu Xin himself had no appetite at all, but looking at Chu Hangsheng's parents, they got up from the kitchen and cooked a few bowls of egg noodles and brought them over. It was a makeshift lunch.In the afternoon, the three of them continued to watch in front of the TV, and the channel was always fixed on the CCTV news channel. The tsunami hit the city with unimaginable power, flooding the houses, farmland, and roads in an instant, and followed behind the Mercedes-Benz cars. People watched as buildings collapsed, high-voltage wires short-circuited, and flames shot up into the sky. I don’t know how many lives were swallowed up in the blink of an eye... This is not a national catastrophe, this is a human catastrophe. Mu Xin felt chills all over her body, she didn't dare to think about what she would do if the sound of the ship was really killed.Even though she used to be afraid of him standing in front of her, afraid that he would come to ask for a result, but now, thinking that this person might never come again, she suddenly found that the road ahead was bleak. But there is always a direction.Just like the North Star in the wilderness, no matter how far away it is, it is a signpost.And if this star falls, where is the way back in the boundless wilderness? In the past three days, I have made all the phone calls I could make, and answered many calls for inquiries.Information about safety began to appear on the Internet one after another. Only the three members of the Chu family seemed to be trapped on an isolated island, waiting anxiously, but there was no news.Su Guifang finally collapsed overwhelmed. The old lady's heart was not good, and on the third day she had to take Suxiao Jiuxin Pills and lay down on the bed. Seeing Su Guifang's powerless look, Mu Xin felt unspeakable pain in her heart: when she lost her father when she was a teenager, got divorced when she was young, and saw Yang Qian's departure and Xiao Yuhua's abnormality, she had never said to herself that she was "undead". The emotion of "good" is transformed into the fear of "life is short".In other words, she has lost too many times in the game of chess in her life, and she has long been unable to care about whether she is holding on to black or white pieces. She only has a little courage to break the boat and coexist with her guilt towards Yang Qian.That bit of courage seems to be a stubborn voice, persuading her to go forward every day, must go forward, life is so short, since I have already missed it once, why add new regrets? ?This kind of persuasion has its truth. When the phone rang again, although she was too disappointed, Mu Xin didn't waste a second, jumped up and threw herself on the corner table beside the sofa to answer the call, because she jumped so fast that her leg hit the coffee table He didn't even care about the pain, but anxiously shouted into the microphone: "Hello?" There was silence on the phone for a few seconds, and finally the familiar voice came, but there was surprise and doubt in the tone: "Xin Xin?" Mu Xin's tears fell down in a snap. At this time, Chu Hangsheng's father came over nervously: "Is Hangsheng? Is he okay?" Hearing the voice, Su Guifang also struggled to get up from the bedroom, and asked anxiously: "How is it, how is he?" "Are you okay?" Mu Xin sniffed and asked. "I'm fine," Chu Hang's voice was so gentle, "Are you scared?" "I know we will be afraid that you will call now, don't you know if you are okay..." Mu Xin wiped her tears, and from the corner of her eye, seeing the old couple breathed a sigh of relief, she quickly said "wait a moment", and handed the receiver to someone Su Guifang, who had an anxious face, could not wait to hear her ask her son: How are you doing? Why have you not heard from me all this time?Where do you live, do you eat well, how do you sleep, are you sick?When can I come back, can I go home directly... It wasn't until she hung up the phone that Su Guifang turned around and saw Mu Xin behind her, and then patted herself on the head regretfully: "Oh, I forgot to ask you to say a few more words!" Mu Xin blushed, but the old couple finally had a smile that they hadn't seen for a long time. Fortunately, not long after, with the gradual recovery of network communication, special reports on the Japanese earthquake signed by "Chu Hangsheng" began to appear in provincial newspapers.Because of these reports.Mu Xin finally felt his growing sense of presence—he was buying puffed food in a sold-out convenience store.He was eating compressed biscuits on the side of the rough and muddy road, and he saw a family portrait in the ruins after the disaster... and his QQ signature: Life is so fragile in front of nature; fortunately, it is only in time to be alive. In the office, Mu Xin stared blankly at the computer screen and thought: What he said "it's too late" should have the same meaning as what she understood, right? She looked up out of the window, because it was on the first floor, and she could clearly see the colorful flowers on the flower bed not far away——Many years ago, it was also the same spring, she stood among the green trees in Xiushan, looking forward to the day when she could Go back to the city with Yang Qian, live a regular life of "work five days and two days off", no longer worry about it, and no longer have morning and night upside down; but, it is also in spring, when the flowers are blooming, all she can send to Yang Qian is The big white chrysanthemums in front of the monument can leave Xiao Yuhua only a few bags of soft snacks or seasonal clothes... The spring in her impression is extremely cold because of the "cold spring" one after another, She almost forgot, perhaps, the greatest luck is that we are still alive. Because I am alive, everything is still in time. When she was in a daze like this, the QQ dialog box in front of her vibrated, which brought her back to her sanity.I saw that he just went online and sent a message to ask her: I will return to China in about a week, will you come to the airport? Mu Xin looked at the computer screen with a slight smile on her lips. After a little hesitation, she clicked the mouse lightly and sent a pattern of a smiling face. Unexpectedly, the temporary arrangement of the Youth League Committee completely disrupted Mu Xin's plan—just the day before Chu Hangsheng arrived in G City, Mu Xin received a notice that he would go to Qinghai to attend an on-site meeting in place of the Propaganda Minister who had a relapse of his legs. , and visited the volunteers in the province to support education and help in the local area. Helpless, before leaving, Mu Xin could only leave a message to Chu Hangsheng: Sorry, I have to go to Qinghai on business, so I can't pick you up. It took a long time for Chu Hangsheng to reply: Then, when I finish the work at hand, I will go back to G City to see you. Mu Xin looked at the computer screen and smiled. For the first time in a long time, she had the urge to call Chu Hangsheng and hear his voice.Considering the inconvenience of communication, I decided to give up after all, but Liu Xuan’s domestic weather forecast for the past few days on QQ, but Su Guifang made a special phone call after getting the news. It's a pity to talk about it when we meet. In the end, Su Guifang asked 11 million times as usual: "Xin Xin, when are you going to register for marriage?" Mu Xin was silent for a moment, and only replied, "Let's talk about it when brother meets Ali." Su Guifang is a smart person. Hearing this answer, she just sighed in her heart and stopped asking. The next day, Mu Xin started her trip as scheduled. It was the first time she went to the plateau. As Zhong Xiaoxue once said, the road stretches peacefully into the distance. The air is full of cool and clean smell. The local staff introduced to the visitors: "This is the first hope primary school set up in our locality. There are 1 teaching class, divided into 5 grades. Donations from all walks of life have also helped to set up a library and online teachers, and the children in the plateau finally have the opportunity to use computers from elementary school and learn about the outside world..." Mu Xin looked around at the small and crude library, and then turned to the teacher's dormitory behind the teaching building with the crowd of visitors.They are all bungalows, but the window glass is very clean, reflecting the reflection of the blue sky and white clouds in the sunlight.There were a few potatoes on the window sills outside the two dormitories. The staff saw it and explained with a smile: "This is a kindness from the children to the teacher. Sometimes it is the product of their own field, sometimes it is a bunch of wild flowers. , Many teachers sent letters after leaving and said that this is the most touching gift they have ever received.” When he said this, a little boy just ran over, probably wanting to put something in front of the teacher's room door.But when I first saw the crowd of visitors, I was taken aback.Turning around and ran away shyly, but at the moment when the eyes collided, the bright eyes of the little boy made Mu Xin, who was walking in front, feel a little lost, and it also made her understand Zhong Xiaoxue's nostalgia for this place. Here, Zhong Xiaoxue She is not only a teacher who teaches and educates people, but also a bridge to the inner and outer worlds. She is needed. The value of her work is enough to make her feel that her every day is full of meaning! Coincidentally, in the exhibition room of Hope Primary School, Mu Xin saw a calligraphy work, which was "Linjiang Immortal Sending Money to Father Mu" by Su Dongpo. The crowd of visitors behind her came and went, but Mu Xin was still staring at the queer words—many years ago, when she was a middle school student, in order to prepare for the college entrance examination, she copied all kinds of words in her weekly diary. Among the famous sentences in Song Ci, there are "no waves are really ancient wells, but there are festivals are Qiuyun" and "life is like a journey against the road, and I am also a pedestrian".That is, for her, these words and sentences are just the permutations and combinations of beautiful literature, how can she understand the flavor of them? But now, decades have passed, when she has traveled a much richer path than her peers in her short life, these sentences have brought mixed feelings deep in her heart-yes, the real Gujing has no The waves, the bamboos in autumn hide the integrity, people have a long way to go in this life, and the middle is just the inn that you have to go through one by one. Before the end of life, no place is the end . She moved her eyes to the place where the signature was signed, and there was a line of elegant lower script above the bright red seal: Wu Zi Nian Qiu Xiao Xueshu. Mu Xin couldn't help smiling, she thought, she and this girl are really destined. Before the return trip, Mu Xin went to the shopping mall—the shawls in the western region were soft and colorful. She picked a color that Hao Huinan might like and bought a few more as souvenirs for her first business trip in her life.It coincides with the weekend, and the mall is very lively with people coming and going.Not far in front of Mu Xin stood a woman who looked younger than her, holding a little boy about three years old in her arms.The child was very beautiful, with fair skin, big eyes, long eyelashes, and slightly curly hair. He was lying on his mother's shoulder and looking around.The little boy's mother was busy picking the goods. The little boy probably felt bored. When he got tired of watching the people around him, he opened his mouth wide and yawned, and then put his fingers into his mouth for a few bites. I like it from the bottom of my heart.Looking at Mu Xin, she felt sad. She thought that if she kept that child, she would be this old now... Thinking of this, Mu Xin lowered his head and walked away quickly.While trying to shake off her bitterness, she was thinking about buying a cashmere sweater for her mother and Chu Hangsheng's mother.Thinking about it for a while, I thought of Xiao Yuhua again, couldn't help sighing, picked up another color that suits her. As a person who always goes shopping with clear goals and doesn't like to hesitate, it didn't take long for Mu Xin to carry shopping bags of all sizes in his hand.When the fire alarm sounded, Mu Xin was about to choose a gift for Chu Hangsheng to take back home. When she first heard the shrill siren, she froze in place, and was a little dazed for a moment.But then I heard someone yelling "It's on fire, run", so I took a breath, and the shopping mall was in chaos! Mu Xin instinctively followed the crowd to the safe exit, but when the crowd was crowded together, the corridor suddenly became chaotic.It didn't take long for the smoke to fill the air, and the choking breath exacerbated people's fear. Some people started screaming, and the staff had to organize the crowd to evacuate in the chaos.Mu Xin squeezed among a bunch of hurried people, and was carried forward by the anxious crowd. When she heard the cry of "wow", Mu Xin turned her head instinctively, and just saw the beautiful little boy she had seen before fall down. By a trash can.His mother didn't know where to go. The little boy's pretty face was now covered with tears and snot, and he cried "Mom" while lying on the ground.A middle-aged woman next to her saw it, and kindly stopped to help the little boy up, but the crowd behind her became anxious when they were blocked, and pushed the middle-aged woman hard, and some people shouted "Hurry up, hurry up", The little girl next to the middle-aged woman became anxious, grabbed the middle-aged woman by the wrist and ran forward. The little boy was thrown by the trash can and continued to cry loudly. Mu Xin couldn't stand it any longer, she tried her best to move away from the crowd around her, walked backwards while someone was cursing angrily, and tried her best to get closer to the little boy.On the way, the shopping bag in her hand scraped against the escaped people, which greatly affected their speed. Mu Xin threw the bag to the ground without even thinking about it, and ran back through the crowd with both hands free.When they finally ran to the little boy's side after all the hardships, the crowd on this floor had basically retreated to the safety exit. There was smoke everywhere in the shopping mall, which made Mu Xin and the little boy cough together. Mu Xin didn't have time to hesitate, she reached out to pick up the little boy, turned around and ran towards the direction where the crowd was evacuating, the little boy was struggling together, shouting "Mom" and trying to push Mu Xin away in fear.While struggling, the little boy waved his hand to Mu Xin's face, poked her in the eyes, tears welled up, instantly blurring Mu Xin's vision.Mu Xin closed her eyes in pain, and within a few seconds of chaos, a step suddenly appeared in front of her. Mu Xin was suddenly tripped and fell to the ground. The little boy was thrown out of her arms and landed one meter ahead. At the same time, "wow" began to cry again. Mu Xin was terrified, and couldn't care less about looking at herself, so she rolled and crawled towards the little boy.In the thick smoke, she didn't know what she had knocked over. It seemed that something like a plastic model or a shelf fell on her head and face, and landed on her forehead, causing a sharp pain.She didn't even have time to touch it, so she rushed over and picked up the crying little boy and continued to run towards the safety exit, with one free hand in the middle to touch the child's head, and she was slightly relieved to see that there was no bleeding, but she was afraid of falling When I got an internal injury, my heart was burning with anxiety. Just like that, he finally ran to the safe passage coughing and coughing, and the crowd who escaped in front had completely disappeared.Mu Xin carried the child in three steps and ran down in two steps. His foot slipped in the middle, and he slammed into the wall.Fortunately, this time she held the child tightly to her chest, and used her shoulders to bear the damage of the impact.At this time, she basically has no sober reason.She didn't even feel pain—the thick smoke was behind her, and she seemed to have heard the "crackling" crackling sound from the store floor where she had just been. At this moment, she only had one belief, which was to "run out." , run down, hurry up, you must get out!" She didn't know how many turns, but when she was dizzy by the stairs, a figure suddenly appeared in front of her, running towards Mu Xin while shouting "There is someone here", Mu Xin nervously greeted her, Passing by a security door in the middle, there was another burst of choking smoke, Mu Xin suddenly couldn't see anything, her eyes were burning hot, but she didn't dare to stop, she ran forward until she felt the other party stretch out her hand Tightly grabbing her arm, took the child in her arms, shouted "Follow me", Mu Xin coughed and followed, staggered and turned a few more turns, and then slammed into a In the light—she escaped! There, Mu Xin didn't know how big the fire was, and she was dragged into the ambulance by the waiting doctor before she could even see the crowd on the third floor and the third floor... She just turned her head and shouted: "My child! , where is the child?" "The child is in the car, go to the hospital too!" Someone yelled loudly, and Mu Xin got into the ambulance with confidence.It was only when she was in the car that doctors and nurses checked the wound that she realized that the blood flowing from her forehead had stained the clothes on her chest red. That day, Mu Xin had nine stitches for the wound between her eyebrows. Anesthesia was used during the stitching, the wound didn't hurt much, but the tension of the rest of the life was still in the head, the blood vessels near the temple were pulsating, and I felt that countless messy scenes were still happening one after another, mixed with thick smoke remaining in the nasal cavity The smell makes people feel nauseous.Finally, after the wound was treated and the tetanus shot was given, Mu Xin grabbed people around and asked, "Have you seen the little boy who was sent in just now? He is about three years old and has big eyes." A nurse who looked like answered her, "Go to the lounge and have a look, the policeman over there, don't worry, I can't lose it." Mu Xin thanked her, and then asked all the way to the lounge, and sure enough, besides the nurses in pink clothes, they were the policemen in blue clothes. While getting dressed, Mu Xin's eyes filled with tears. A female policeman walked up to her, held Mu Xin by her arm and asked, "Are you looking for someone?" Mu Xingang briefly described the little boy's appearance, and the other party immediately asked, "Who are you?" "I don't know him. He got separated from his mother. I brought him out of the fire. There must be a beginning and an end..." Before Mu Xin finished speaking, she saw a warm smile appearing on the face of the policewoman in front of her. Mu Xin was stunned for a moment, and then heard the other party turn her head beamingly, and said to the people behind her, "I found it, the child's savior is here!" "Hula" all of a sudden, before Mu Xin understood what was going on, she was surrounded by several people. A woman squeezed in front of her and knelt down in front of her, shouting, "Thank you, thank you for saving me." my son!" Mu Xin took a closer look, and then realized that the woman in front of her with disheveled hair and soot-covered face was indeed the little boy's mother. She quickly helped him up, but she didn't expect that the white light of the flashlight had already started to light up around her.Mu Xin was taken aback, and looked around, only to see at least three or four different types of microphones appearing in front of her instantly, and a circle of unfamiliar faces asked various questions in a hurry, among them, the one closest to her was a female reporter with a voice Ye Da, holding Mu Xin's hand, asked, "Hi, I'm a reporter from XX Morning Post. May I ask how you brought your child out? What were you thinking when you decided to do what's right?" Mu Xin was stunned. Surrounded heavily, Mu Xin couldn't remember how she slipped out of the hospital. The phone had fallen somewhere, and if it wasn't for the fact that she always kept her wallet with her, she probably wouldn't even have the money to take the car back to the hotel at this moment.Even though she had already done some simple cleaning in the hospital bathroom, her appearance in the hotel lobby still surprised the receptionist.Mu Xin smiled apologetically at the other party, and only said that she fell on the road, broke her head, and bled a lot, then she took out the room card in the wallet and walked back to her room under the sympathetic eyes of the waiter, and went to the room. When I met my colleagues from Guangxi who came to the meeting together, the other party came to express condolences with a cry of surprise. Mu Xin had to repeat the same words again, and the other party asked with concern, "Can I return as planned tomorrow? Do you want to tell the conference affairs team?" ", Mu Xin hurriedly stopped the other party, and repeatedly declared that she was fine, and would check out tomorrow morning as scheduled to take the train, so the kind-hearted colleagues gave up. It wasn't until entering the room, when all the noise was blocked out, that Mu Xin collapsed on the bed as if exhausted—in just a few hours, it was a life-and-death test! It seems that it was only at this time that she had time to carefully recall what happened just now: just now, when the female reporter asked "What is your occupation?", she instinctively wanted to answer "I am a policeman", but the words She swallowed again: she finally remembered that she was no longer a policeman. She lay quietly on the bed and looked at the ceiling, and the smoke, flames, "cracking" crackling sounds and the crying of the child appeared again in her mind... She thought for a long time, and finally decided, At that moment, I didn't have time to think about it, I just acted on instinct - she couldn't just watch a child die in the fire, she had to save him! She also remembered that not long ago, when she was facing a speeding car robbery, she had watched a girl fall to the ground and die... That is, she did not lend a helping hand, and she was tortured by her soul day and night for this. Ask yourself: What's the use of wearing a police uniform even if you don't even have the courage to help a trash like you? Now that I think about it, if it weren't for those tortures, the reflections behind the tortures, and even the unexpected reluctance when she really took off the uniform, she would never have discovered that courage can be born from nothing! Yes, when she can finally face everything in the past—those lost depression and forbearing growth—she will always involuntarily think of the fact that "I used to be a policeman" when she faces the self who has returned to the ordinary people.She finally knew that there are always some professions, no matter how long or short you have been in them, their imprints are imprinted deep in your heart, so that even if you leave this environment, you can’t get rid of the quiet influence it has given you . It's the same with marriage. Even though she left Yang Qian, his shadow often appeared in front of her. She still remembered his living habits, his voice, the way he raised his eyebrows...Because of a sudden sacrifice, he was in her life forever. There are traces that ordinary people can't imagine, and the reason why she can't fully accept Chu Hangsheng is that she feels that she owes Yang Qian too much. Perhaps I should be grateful for the fire today, because it was through the tingling of her forehead that she suddenly realized that what supported Yang Qian to achieve the myth of a "hero" at the cost of his life was probably just an instinctive dedication and unfortunate love. Just a coincidence.He happened to appear at the gunpoint of a criminal at the most inappropriate time, and then instinctively called the name of the person he wanted to see the most when he was dying. He gave her the most tragic memory and the deepest respect. She should pay him back for remembering all those good times and ignoring the bad ones, as long as that's the case. He never restrained Mu Xin intentionally, even in the last days of his life, when he wanted her to return to him, it was just an earnest plea, and he never tried to use spiritual restraint to stop Mu Xin from moving forward. walking steps.So, today, her avoidance of Chu Hang's voice and her deliberate ignorance of all the true emotions in her heart, isn't it a kind of cocoon? In the middle of the night, Mu Xin fell asleep amidst constant cranky thoughts. For the first time in a long time, she was able to sleep without a dream. The next day, the unrecognizable Mu Xin boarded the return train as scheduled—because of the blood congestion, half of her forehead, cheeks, and eye sockets were all turned into a yellowish color. It looked horrible.Along the way, she held up newspapers to cover her face so as not to scare more people, and she also saw a series of news reports about the fire, one of which mentioned her, but because she refused to reveal herself at the time. The newspapers had to vaguely carry all the information about her with words like "enthusiastic woman", and she was very satisfied with this vagueness. With his face hurt like this, he couldn't go to work after returning to G City.It didn't take long for the minister to bring the only staff member to see her.At first glance, I was shocked by this appearance, and said something like "Don't lose your face, Xiao Mu is still married at such a young age", Mu Xi couldn't help laughing after hearing this, but this smile and gradually began to The half of the face that had turned from green to purple matched together, making it look even more ferocious.So Mu Xin didn't go out at all except to go to the hospital to change the dressing, but on the day the stitches were removed, she still met an acquaintance in the hospital. At that time, Mu Xin just finished removing the stitches, and still felt a little itchy pain on his forehead, when he suddenly heard someone calling his name behind him, when he turned around, he saw Zhong Xiaoxue who hadn't changed at all, Mu Xi still blinked his eyes in disbelief She blinked—long and straight hair, tied in a simple ponytail, and when she smiled, there was a small dimple on the side of her cheek... Who else is it not Zhong Xiaoxue? Mu Xin hurriedly turned around to say hello: "Are you sick?" "It's my father, here for chemotherapy." Zhong Xiaoxue looked at the case in his hand, and then asked with concern, "What's wrong with you?" "There was a little accident during the business trip, and I'm about to recover." Mu Xin looked at Zhong Xiaoxue with a smile, "By the way, I went to Qihai. Needing is a satisfying feeling.” "Yeah, at that time Yang Qian still said that I was idealistic—" Zhong Xiaoxue suddenly stopped, she looked at Mu Xin with some guilt, and said softly, "I'm sorry." "It's okay, I often think of him too." Mu Xin sighed, Yang Qian's name lingered on the tip of her tongue a few times, although she didn't say it, she knew that she and Zhong Xiaoxue got acquainted because of Yang Qian, sooner or later This topic will be covered, but fortunately, after more than a year, when she can finally look back on her past footprints, the top-down overlook brings a more objective perspective and a more calm state of mind: If she can do it all over again, she Willing to meet all challenges with a stronger heart, less blame and less complaints.She will be thankful that her husband is her colleague. Because they know each other, they can support each other, make suggestions, and make suggestions... This should be the advantage of a marriage, and it is her most confident identity when standing in front of Xiao Yuhua. It should not be inferiority or fear. After all, it was not Xiao Yuhua who expelled her, not her expelling herself. Until never again. Zhong Xiaoxue seemed to understand what Mu Xin was thinking, she sighed slightly, held Mu Xin's hand and said, "When I was in Qinghai, a Living Buddha told me that 'death is a mirror that reflects the overall meaning of life', these In the past few years, I have not found any sentence that can express the meaning better than this sentence. I think that Yang Qian may not be afraid, because death is just the beginning of meaning for him.” 穆忻没有说话，她只是反握住钟筱雪的手，微笑。 是的，我们愿意相信，那是另外一个世界、另外一个国度，在那里，有我们深深惦念的人，他们生活得很好，很好。 那是他们的开始，也是我们的开始——开始惦念，开始回忆，开始用更加冷静理智温暖的目光以及一颗更加宁静的心看待曾经与未来。每一场生老病死，都因此而成为一场沥血的成长。 也是这年春天，郝慧楠和张乐的你追我打终于进入了一个崭新的阶段——大丁家村两委换届，经过镇里的调解动员总算是选出了新任村支书，而郝慧楠因为事迹突出被调回镇里，任镇长助理，副科级。 有那么几天时间，郝慧楠都抓着穆忻念叨：“有心栽花花不发，无心插柳柳成荫……” 穆忻笑呵呵地反问：“什么是有心，什么是无心？” 郝慧楠仔细想想，猛地一拍巴掌：“还是你深刻，一句话就醍醐灌顶！可不是嘛，谁说我'无心插柳'来着？我分明是为了村里那村办企业都快呕心沥血了！” “所以这是你应得的，”穆忻拍拍郝慧楠的肩膀，“既然回了镇里，该办的事儿就抓紧办了吧。也别拿什么要离开这儿当借口了，你见过刚竖起来的典型短时间内走得开的吗？再说就算你现在考到市区工作，在那里找了个男人结婚生孩子，那万一以后再被拍下来挂职锻炼或者直接任职，难道要离婚？毕竟走了这条路，许多事情就由不得你了。前面一千一万个未知数，犯得着一一计较吗？听我一句话，看在你比张乐职务高但人家仍没有嫌弃你的份儿上，赶紧结婚吧！” 郝慧楠不说话了。 那时并没想到郝慧楠最后的一点犹豫会被张乐命悬一线的负伤冲垮——六月里，张乐身先士卒成功抓捕公安部A级通缉犯，同时他那饱受创伤的老腰也差点被来自身后的一闷棍彻底报销。医生诊断说“如果再晚送来一会儿，下半辈子就可以在轮椅上过了”，生生把张乐吓出一身冷汗来。 郝慧楠站在张乐病床边咬虎切齿：“活该，上次我住院的时候你说什么来着？说我生活不能自理，只能任人宰割……我这次就叫你一下什么叫'任人宰割'。” 张乐很警觉：“你要干什么？” 郝慧楠不说话，只是伸手拎过来保温桶，打开盖子，一股浓郁的辣椒香喷薄而出，馋得张乐直流口水。 “拿筷子拿筷子！”郝慧楠坐到张乐身边的床沿上，招呼穆忻，“我订的水煮鱼，三斤的，咱俩一鼓作气吃完，剩了太浪费。” 穆忻憋着笑把手边的小砂锅打开，露出里面一汪雪白的猪蹄汤，推到张乐跟前：“有人说病人只能喝汤……” 张乐觉得额头的青筋在活泼泼地跳，咬牙说：“我是养伤，不是坐月子……” “我知道，所以里面也没加黄豆花生什么的，”郝慧楠吃了一大口鱼，眯着眼睛感叹，“美味啊——” 张乐死死盯着郝慧楠的筷子，可是他腰不好，连抢的动作都做不了，瞪了半天只能悲愤地吼：“猪蹄就猪蹄吧，你们好歹给我递过来啊！看我够得着吗？” 郝慧楠放下筷子，塞一个汤碗到张乐手里：“自己喝吧，胳膊又没伤着。” “我这躺着呢，喝一口洒半口！”张乐抗议。 郝慧楠没办法，只好先招呼穆忻吃鱼，然后拿过勺子一口口往张乐嘴里喂汤，一边喂一边念叨：“让我说你什么好……就会逞强，你少干点会死啊？让你去陪我爸妈吃饭你不去，非要去做英雄，现在倒好，只能躺着半死不活等人喂！” 穆忻敏感地捕捉到其中的关键信息，瞪大眼插嘴：“你爸妈来了？干吗要见张乐？你们俩真谈上啦？” “来也没用啊，被人家放了鸽子，说是有重要任务，让我们自己随便吃点，”郝慧楠冷笑，顺便把一勺子带着蹄尖骨的猪蹄狠狠往张乐嘴里塞，噎得张乐直翻白眼，“我说张乐，这可是你自己放弃机会的！我跟你说我也就是没当老师，不然绝不会给不着调儿的学生提供补考机会，懂不？哎我警告你别往外吐啊，你要是把好好的猪蹄吐了，看我还喂你！” 张乐继续翻着白眼和满嘴的骨头斗争，穆忻看不下去了，递过去一个盘子放在张乐嘴边：“吐吧吐吧，万一噎死了就太对不起这些猪蹄了，某人亲手炖了两个钟头呢。” 张乐毫不犹豫地把嘴嘴的骨头吐出来，这才顺了品气，讨饶：“这不能怪我啊，我怎么知道那天刚好有紧急任务……要不等我出院亲自上门找咱爸妈负荆请罪去？” “不用，你千万别客气，那是我爸妈，跟你没什么关私法，”郝慧楠瞪张乐，“本来他们就不同意我找个警察，说是又危险又不顾家，你看看你现在这个样子，还真给我长脸。” 张乐叹口气：“你们这些人，怎么能歧视警察呢？作为一各有正式资质的高级保安，带出门可以防盗，放家里可以镇宅，附加值多高！” 穆忻“噗”的笑出声，差点把水煮鱼的油渍喷到雪白的被套上。 郝慧楠也笑了，张开五指迎面在张儿脸上“啪唧”拍了一巴掌：“你有钟馗性感吗？还镇宅呢……” 满室欢声笑语中，穆忻似乎看见，最好的时光，它姗姗而来。