Chapter 7 Chapter 6 How far is a lifetime

However, no matter whether you compromise or not, bad luck will never let you go. One morning not long after, when Mu Xin was about to leave the night shift, Duan Xiu opened the door and came in, and stopped Mu Xin with his hand. "What's going on here?" Duan Xiucai handed over a piece of paper, and Mu Xin took a closer look, and found that it was a copy of the Municipal Bureau's "Supervision Form for Mass Complaints".The reason for the complaint was that some people called the police two days ago, saying that there was a fight outside the Siding police station, but the Xiushan branch 110 did not send the police.

Duan Xiucai pointed to the watch in his hand: "You called the police?" Mu Xin smiled wryly: "Yes." "Why didn't you send the police?" Duan Xiucai was angry. "Is it a good idea to supervise the city bureau? Regardless of whether it is true or not, we have to give an explanation to the city bureau. We don't know if the complainant will accept our explanation." "The police were dispatched, and the police said that there was no fight at all, and it can be seen from the house..." "Check the records at that time for me!" Duan Xiucai interrupted Mu Xin.

Mu Xin had no choice but to turn out the notebook, and "Zhang Le" was impressively written in the remarks column.Duan Xiucai took the notebook and hurried out the door, Xiao Meng looked at Duan Xiucai's back, more depressed than Mu Xin: "Brother is going to be in trouble again." "We can't hide," Mu Xin frowned. "For this kind of thing, if the leader wants to protect you, the police dispatch record in your notebook is the evidence; if the leader wants to punish you, we are not without loopholes—that person Didn’t you call the police four times? I only called Zhang Le twice. Later, Zhang Le also got annoyed, so I automatically blocked the subsequent calls.”

Mu Xin's expression was very calm when she said this, she thought, she really changed.In the past, she would feel wronged and unfair, but not now.As Chu Hangsheng said, compare your heart with your heart, and you can always think about some things—everyone has their own standpoint or perspective. Even if the police report is a false report, they wish they could be the whole world, and wish that all the policemen in the world would be there in the first place. What's more, there are always people who press "110" with their last hope when their lives are hanging by a thread.Often, what is tied to this telephone line is trivial, but sometimes, it is really a human life.

In the face of human life, the two phone calls she blocked, even though she knew they were picky at the time, were indeed suspected of dereliction of duty. "Actually, it's not a big deal," Xiaomeng sighed. "The deputy director in charge of us is Bureau Chen, so it depends on how he characterizes it. It's not the first time I've received complaints and supervision forms. During my internship, there were three police officers in the police station. Yue saw quite a few of them, two of them belonged to the senior brother, just get used to it." "Why does Zhang Le always get complaints?" Mu Xin wondered.

"The more you do, the more mistakes you make. He is a model worker, so there are more chances of being complained," Xiaomeng recalled, and couldn't help laughing. "I remember the first time he was complained because someone called the police that someone was going to commit suicide on the river dam. He took an intern with him and drove out. Halfway there, the poor Santana was lying down, so he had to call back to find someone to help. So Zhao Xuhui called another person to drive a Chang'an Xiaobain to the police. Unexpectedly, before reaching Zhang Le’s place, it was also broken down on the road. Brother Zhao was so angry that he almost set the broken car on fire. As a result, the policeman couldn’t wait for the police, so he had to rush forward to save the young man who committed suicide. Thinking of being beaten by that person."

"Ah?" Mu Xin's eyes widened, "Why?" "Because that person didn't want to commit suicide at all, that person was drunk and standing on the river dam and throwing himself crazy!" Xiaomeng shook his head helplessly, "The man was also very annoyed after being beaten for righteousness, so he complained to the police station for not calling the police in a fit of anger. Later, he was informed After the inspection results, he couldn’t accept it, saying that it was impossible for the two cars to break down on the road together, and that we were protecting each other by officials, so he made complaint calls to the Discipline Inspection Commission, the Public Security Bureau, and the Police Bureau one by one. As a result, the brother was almost tortured during that time crazy……"

"This man is so persistent..." Mu Xin sighed. "Brother, I'm wronged!" Xiaomeng was filled with indignation, "Have you seen the news on the Internet? It said that some netizens criticized the city's police for patrolling with Mercedes-Benz. Many people commented on the post on the Internet, and the post became popular all of a sudden. It looks as if all the police officers now drive Mercedes-Benz. How is that possible! We are at the grassroots level, looking at the old Santana and the bad Jetta after getting rid of the broken van, and we still hope to hunt down... If we can catch up with the tricycle, it will be good!"

"Using your words, just get used to it," Mu Xin smiled, "Besides, it's not like our bureau doesn't have Hongqi and Camry. Aren't they all used as cars for the leaders?" "No wonder everyone wants to be a leader." Xiao Meng concluded his speech. The final result of this matter was Zhang Le's self-criticism - anyway, someone must take responsibility, and Zhang Le is also used to self-criticism.In front of the bad face of the leader, Zhang Le is a person who understands current affairs. He knows that complaining is useless. It is better to admit his mistakes, get forgiveness, reduce punishment, and then look for opportunities to complain.Anyway, pure swallowing is impossible, Zhang Le thought, why should he take the risk of leaving his post and risking losing the opportunity to deal with more important cases, and go to the scene to deal with a small incident that did not lead to violence at all? scratch?Just because there are enthusiastic citizens who want to check the speed of police deployment, do you ignore the fact that the grassroots police force is insufficient?To put it bluntly, he felt that he was wronged—why should he be treated as a grandson by wearing this skin?I have to patrol and check the row all day long, and I have to help the old lady unlock the door, help the old man identify the house, help the children find their mother... Now I have to help "enthusiastic citizens" satisfy their curiosity, just for that little salary , is it so cheap to hire a secretary?

But Mu Xin didn't escape Duan Xiucai's scolding: Why did you only implement it twice after calling the police four times?Why is it only recorded twice in the record book?If the caller doesn't complain, is he planning to get away with it?What kind of problem is this?This is not only negligence, but you have not established a correct work attitude! Mu Xin agreed, submissive, knowing what Duan Xiucai said was right, but she knew very well that for some things, if the left ear goes in and the right ear goes out more, it doesn't necessarily mean that she is irresponsible—maybe, living in a place with many people , can have this skill, on the contrary, it is easy to live a long life.

Of course, this is difficult, but at the same time without ignoring conscience, if you have no extravagant expectations, it is not easy to be burdened by it. It sounds absurd, but those who understand it will understand. It's just that the house leak happened to rain all night. On that day, the city bureau instructed the command center of the sub-bureau to report a certain situation. See the cipher text for detailed requirements. The so-called ciphertext is actually a telegram with a confidentiality level.Mu Xin received it, then implemented it into a text, and after it was reviewed by the leader, he sent it to the e-mail of the Municipal Bureau Command Center through the public security intranet without even thinking about it. As a result, it was a hornet's nest - the City Bureau's call went directly to Chen Bureau's office. It is said that at that time, Chen Bureau's face was covered with black mist, and Xiao Meng, who came into the house to deliver the salary slip, trembled in fright. "Can materials with classified information be sent through the public security intranet? How did you learn about the secrecy regulations?" In the office, Bureau Chen was furious, and Gu Qing, who was summoned, also took a breath of air on the spot. With no expression on his head, he sat on the side like a potted plant. "Mu Xin, explain to me, what are you doing? Are you out of your mind?!" Chen Ju slammed the table, his brows were cold. Mu Xin was taken aback, ignored the rudeness of the slander, and quickly admitted his mistake: "I'm sorry Bureau Chen, I don't know...we didn't learn this when we were training in the police academy, I thought the intranet was already confidential enough ..." "Didn't learn?" Chen Ju became even more angry, and turned to look at Gu Qing and Duan Xiucai, "What are you leaders doing! Why is such important knowledge not popularized? You don't know the most basic requirements, can you take responsibility? During the weekly regular meeting, I have read so many documents forwarded by the Ministry of Public Security, have you listened carefully? How many times have you said that classified materials cannot go online, have you taken it to heart? How many people will be fired for negligence?!" The moment Mu Xin heard the word "expulsion", Mu Xin turned pale. Gu Qing could only explain in a low voice: "I'm sorry, Bureau Chen, I was negligent..." "Thanks to nothing, if there are serious consequences, all bureau leaders will be dismissed!" Bureau Chen tried to suppress his anger, "Go back and write a review, and immediately organize the general staff to re-learn the confidentiality regulations! I will suppress this matter , will not report to the chief, once again, you all take off your police uniform and go home!" After coming out of Bureau Chen's office, several people all looked solemn.Apart from Duan Xiucai's cold eyes, Mu Xin was really scared, and Gu Qing really felt unlucky.But anyway, she is a woman, she knows how fragile a woman's nerves are, and she knows where the bottom line of a woman's psychological endurance lies.She thought about it, found an excuse to distract Duan Xiucai, and met Mu Xin face to face in the office. That was the first time they had a heart-to-heart conversation. Although the background was very desolate, Mu Xin still remembered what Gu Qing said after many years. She said: "Xiao Mu, you are actually the same as me. You graduated from a local university without any real professional training. You lack the shackles of long-term police academy life. You are used to being free and loose. It is an instinct to muddle along. But, It was only later that I realized that public security work is far more rigorous and meticulous than I imagined." She sighed and looked at Mu Xin who kept her head down: "Fortunately, no serious consequences were caused. It's your luck. Otherwise, any negligence of ours may involve human life..." Gu Qing finished counting, because she didn't need to say much, but she could also think of Mu Xin's feelings at this moment: Many years ago, she also encountered a similar scene. Just because of a negligence, she forgot to notify the director to participate in the security inspection organized by the city bureau that night. As a result, the director became "famous" in the city's public security system overnight.At that time, the director's angry eyes were still fresh in Gu Qing's memory many years later.She has never regretted her mistakes so much, and never hated her forgetfulness and lack of seriousness like that moment.Since then, how many years have passed, no matter where Gu Qing goes, there will be a small work memorandum in his bag, which will list all the trivial things such as reminding everyone to wear a police cap before participating in the event; plan to do According to the importance of the work, mark it on the desk calendar on the desk, which is clear and eye-catching; and then input the meetings to be attended and activities that need to appear on time into the mobile phone one by one, and the regular vibration reminder... "There are some things that need to be learned from a pitfall," she said softly. "Mistakes are inevitable, and the most important thing is to prevent mistakes in the future. We can't fall twice in the same pit, right?" Mu Xin raised her head, looked at Gu Qing with moist eyes, and saw the smile on her face. Then I heard her say: "There is one more thing to discuss with you. Recently, I plan to send someone to the Municipal Bureau for training. The main purpose is to learn how to write materials. I want to send you there. What do you think?" Mu Xin looked at Gu Qing in surprise, wondering what kind of medicine she was selling in her gourd. Gu Qing's gaze was very sincere, and his tone was gentle. After the topic changed, he seemed to have completely forgotten the storm in the director's office just now, and just explained peacefully: "Our sub-bureau does not have a special research room. At present, the material work is basically done by the secretarial department. I'm doing it. But you also know that the secretarial department is short of manpower, and there are only two young men with good writing skills who can catch up with the time. Department. The bureau leader means to cultivate a few pens that can be brought out. You are a liberal arts student and a graduate student. Apart from unfamiliar majors, you still have a good foundation. I think you can give it a try. " Mu Xin finds it unbelievable: Why does Gu Qing treat herself so well?Just because of the personal experience of the same transfer student?She and Lu Bingtang seemed to have a good personal relationship, if he went to the city bureau, would he be considered a sheep? Seeing that Mu Xin didn't speak, Gu Qing smiled: "The work of the agency is like this. It is well-regulated, step by step. The public security is a little special, that is, in the business department, it is both technology and experience. But no matter where you go , there is one thing that will not change, that is, writing work tests people and makes people successful - because almost all units really need people who can write good official documents. Of course, this road is very boring. But as long as you can practice the pen, In the future, there will be unlimited opportunities whether it is the competition within the sub-bureau or the recommendation examination organized by the superior unit." Gu Qing's tone was very sincere. "Well, since I'm here, I intend to work here for the rest of my life." Mu Xin felt that she had to make a statement.And this attitude is the most common "obedience to the organization's arrangement" in essence. Mu Xin said while thinking that this should be regarded as the standard mantra of civil servants. He obviously has thousands of thoughts in his heart, but what he says is always This is a harmless and common sentence. "I won't say any more, you should get ready and report to the Municipal Bureau next week." After saying this, Gu Qing smiled, and Mu Xin had no choice but to get up and leave.But until she left Gu Qing's office, she felt in a daze that everything she heard just now was so strange—she and Gu Qing were not related, and Gu Qing didn't need to take extra care of her, and she really didn't have anything outstanding to make Gu Qing admire her.Could it be that letting myself go out to seek refuge is really just a simple "protection of the calf"? When thinking this way, Mu Xin didn't realize that the more than one year of life in the police camp has changed Yang Qian and her—just like the gentle and reserved Yang Qian disappeared, today's Mu Xin has a lot of things in his life. Be vigilant and prepared, anytime, anywhere. Just like Mu Xin's reaction, when the letter of secondment from the Research Office of the Municipal Bureau Headquarters actually arrived a few days later, almost everyone was a little surprised—at this time, the secondment of a lesbian like Mu Xin who was not a major What does it mean to go to help work, and it is still a research laboratory that is quite different from the job of dispatching the police? To defuse the crisis, to offset the merits, or to divert attention? Anyone inside the system knows that a department like the research office is not an easy task no matter what level of agency or unit it is in.Compared with the propaganda department engaged in external publicity, the existence of the research office may be more like a megaphone and staff department in the system.In addition to writing speeches for leaders and submitting research materials to higher-level units, they also compiled and distributed "Public Security Briefings", which not only boosted morale, but also summed up experience.Needless to say, be cautious, but there is also a habit of discretion that all writing departments of agencies have-articles must be innovative, but not too outrageous; expressions must be regular, but not static.All kinds of requirements are limited, the text itself is not just a game, but more like a whetstone, grinding back and forth all the rust in your brain caused by not thinking.And once you fall into the trap of writing, it becomes commonplace to revise the article over and over again, so it is common to work overtime, and it is not uncommon to stay up all night.Inevitably, such a department is inherently patriarchal, just because men have less chores and good physical strength, so it is convenient to extract surplus value. So which one does Mu Xin stick to? Good writing? She has not been in the bureau for a long time, and she has written a short police report, but never a long briefing. Can stay up late? Is it a woman, or a married woman, who would expect her to work overtime and stay up all night? Have a background? This is the most likely, because although it is to go to the bitter writing department, it is still the Municipal Bureau.Who in the industry does not know that the so-called "secondment" is often a prelude to retention and a prelude to promotion, so the grassroots has become a place for people with backgrounds to use as a springboard.What about Mu Xin?After so long, she kept her face and expressions, so it turned out that she was just hiding her name and trying her best? ... All kinds of guesses, of course, there are also probes and inquiries.Those who do this kind of thing are basically middle-aged women in their 40s or 50s, their jobs are free enough, and they are boring in every way, and they can't hide any trouble in the bureau from their vicious eyes: someone's couple quarrels, someone's man gets promoted, whoever My child was invited by the teacher to be a parent, and they all know it clearly, and they are very time-sensitive, and they are more dedicated than the paparazzi. Mu Xin could only smile wryly. She was kept in the dark - maybe she was more willing to believe that Gu Qing wanted her to avoid the limelight, after all, after causing such a lot of trouble to the leader, still dangling in front of the leader was a risk in itself.As for the other kind of speculation, she didn't dare to think about the personal relationship between Lu Bingtang, Chen Ju and Gu Qing, for fear that if she thought about it too much, she would get scared. In the end, Mu Xin couldn't figure it out no matter how much she thought, so she simply stopped thinking about it.She looked at her solemn self in the mirror, and then thought of Yang Qian, who was often involved in cases and never seemed to be able to call him when she needed him. She gritted her teeth and thought: After living for twenty-seven years, as a staunch atheist, Are you still afraid of ghosts and monsters?It's better to have soldiers to block them, water to cover them, even if Yang Qian is not by his side, he must not lose confidence! With such belief in mind, a few days later, Mu Xin Dayi embarked on the road to report to the Municipal Bureau.It's just that he never expected that after trekking tens of kilometers and finally entering the city, he would meet Chu Hangsheng again at the gate of the Municipal Bureau? It's a small world. Mu Xin thought so, but didn't say anything, just stood at the gate and watched Chu Hangsheng walking quickly from not far away.She was dressed in a blue police uniform with a neat police appearance, and he was dressed in casual clothes, which was a reporter's choice, but when they really stood together, they were not abrupt, but rather harmonious. Or maybe, with peace of mind, the scenery will naturally come alive.Mu Xin thought. "Are you here for an errand?" There was undisguised surprise in Chu Hang's voice. "I was seconded to help out for a month, and I said that I would solve the accommodation problem nearby. Lunch is at the city bureau restaurant, and there is a subsidy." Food, housing, transportation, married women always consider the most practical issues. "Stay in a hotel?" Chu Hangsheng quickly found out the guardianship of the elder brother next door, looked around, and basically summed up the guest houses, family hotels, 24-hour convenience stores, or home cooking restaurants with a good reputation.The issues that married men consider are actually similar. "I don't know yet. I'll call you after I've settled down." There's no need to be shy, it's better to contact him frankly. Mu Xin still has a little selfishness - having him around may be the best magic weapon to avoid Lu Bingtang. "Okay," Chu Hang nodded, pointing to the tall building next to the Municipal Public Security Bureau, "That's our newspaper office, and there's a not-so-new dormitory building behind it, which is my house. If you live close, I can take care of it. If you live far away , I can consider giving you a room." He was too straightforward, and Mu Xin was a little terrified: "Brother, don't be so generous, sister-in-law will mind." "She's in Hong Kong. Besides, I know she's not this kind of person." Chu Hang smiled generously, "I told my mother that I met you, and she thought it was very rare, and told me to help you as much as I can." "Since I was a child, you have helped me a lot." While exchanging greetings, Mu Xin couldn't help but think, going back a few years, I really wish I could live in the place closest to you, but nowadays, male married Girl married, eventually missed.Being able to be brothers and sisters who live a stable life is already a blessing from heaven. Chu Hangsheng didn't care about Mu Xin's words, but just added: "Call me after you settle down, and I'll treat you to lunch." After speaking, he waved his hand and walked quickly towards the newspaper office.While walking, he made gestures, asking Mu Xin not to forget to call him later.Mu Xin smiled and watched his back turn into the courtyard next door, turned around and entered the gate of the Municipal Bureau, and walked all the way to the command center.While walking, she thought about Chu Hangsheng's smile, and she really felt at ease. Reporting was a simple matter. In one morning, I met the director and deputy director of the command center, the director and deputy director of the research office, and all the colleagues in the subordinate research office.Mu Xin stood in the middle of a young and middle-aged boy, and there was a little red among the green bushes. But as soon as he reported for duty, he was treated as a hard worker—it just happened to be a piece of material from the Xiushan newspaper that captured a burglary gang by colluding with cases and using emotion as the police.Mu Xin looked at the signature, it was Duan Xiucai. Mu Xin was still guilty of correcting Duan Xiucai's article. After all, Duan Xiucai was her teacher both in theory and in practice.But fortunately, the so-called change is just to raise the tone of the writing from the district and county sub-bureau to that of the city bureau.The only thing that shocked Mu Xin was the working rhythm of the boys in the research room—it was busy and orderly, but also quiet in thinking. There was neither Duan Xiucai's leisurely leisurely browsing the intranet forums while writing official documents, nor the Xiushan branch office. The aunts in the idle post talk on the phone and just do their own work. Occasionally, when they get tired of writing, they pass cigarettes to each other and chat casually, but they soon enter the working state again. Mu Xin waited and watched quietly, a little excited in her heart - although she was still a little apprehensive, she had not worked in such an environment of concentration and meditation for a long time.Since leaving school, her life has been filled with the impetuousness of mechanically dispatching the police. She occasionally reads newspapers, but the frequency is pitifully seldom.Now, listening to the "click" sound of typing on the computer keyboard one after another, she suddenly thought of her postgraduate days, when she was in the classroom thinking about the plan of an advertising contest or the structure of a certain thesis with her tutor, and she would contribute to any place. Meticulously consider the details... In the past, it was the diligent and tiresome research she was tired of, but now, when she stepped into an environment that did not require thinking or deliberation at all, she realized how much she had. I miss those times when I studied diligently and used both hands and brains. And everything in front of him is so strange, yet so familiar. As Mu Xin thought about it, she felt warm in her heart, and instantly realized why she had been unhappy for a long time: it turned out that she was much more diligent than she imagined; it turned out that all the emptiness deep in her heart was nothing but Because her brain has become empty and the nature of her work is too mechanical; it turns out that her attachment to knowledge, habit of thinking, and desire to challenge unknown fields have been accompanied by seven years of college time and have penetrated into her bones. Yes, once, she resigned herself to her fate for a time—since life is so mechanical, she might as well be like Chaplin in the movie, be a wrench that adapts to the gears, study law, business, and dialect, so as not to delay things It's enough.She also sees through it - if she wants to leave the environment in front of her, she must either be transferred from the backstage or have the ability to pass the exam. She can't count on the former, and she doesn't know about the latter.Coupled with Yang Qian's hard work in the criminal police brigade, and the dusty public examination materials in the corner of the room, she gradually lost the will to fight.She began to feel that maybe a woman really needs a job that guarantees her income in drought and flood, and there is nothing wrong with it right now.At least you can avoid premature aging caused by too many work tasks, avoid forehead wrinkles caused by constant thinking about problems, and don't have to worry about unchallenged high housing prices in big cities.In a corner of the safe suburbs, slowly entering middle age and old age, don't worry, maybe you can live a long life... But now, she suddenly discovered that the loss and negativity of the past year had suddenly been overturned!She instantly hated the self who gave up using her brain, gave up thinking, and just succumbed to reality, and suddenly became full of strength, and began to yearn for, miss, and even have infinite courage to face the unknown! "This is really a good omen." She summed it up to Chu Hangsheng. At lunch, I was supposed to catch up on the old days, but Chu Hangsheng didn't expect Mu Xin to talk so much excitedly—the frustration of more than a year, the excitement of this morning, and of course, all kinds of new expectations for the future.She was beaming with joy, and there was an eager look on her face. Chu Hangsheng looked at her face with chopsticks, and was a little dazed by her excitement. He just looked at Mu Xin with his chopsticks in a daze, which made her a little embarrassed.Perhaps it was also at that moment that Mu Xin realized that she had been talking non-stop for a long time, and Chu Hangsheng had been listening, smiling a little, and didn't stop serving her dishes in the middle. She finally stopped, looked at Chu Hangsheng slightly apologetically, and smiled: "I said too much, didn't I?" "Just keep talking. It's been a long time since anyone talked to me so much." Chu Hang's voice was a little emotional, but it made Mu Xin feel a little sad. She thought, perhaps it was because she was married that she could better understand the relationship between the two. How lonely the days of separation. She was also a little strange, she couldn't figure out why she could speak so many words in one breath in front of him.She never told outsiders about those depressions and troubles.Even when Duan Xiucai was always talking about his "graduate" education, when the caller was yelling indiscriminately, when he was punished by three aunts and six wives who were older than him and had less salary than him because of a small "sub-specialist" When they were running out... No matter how panicked she was, it was just a secret tear in the middle of the night.I always think that the road is chosen by myself, and I have no right to complain.Only complained about Yang Qian, but he just hugged her tightly and kept saying "I'm sorry".But later, as his work became more and more busy, she didn't even have the chance to complain.Her only outlet is a locked folder in the computer, which contains a series of secret diaries that have never been read by others. There are all the most shady things in her heart, such as the last Unbridled complaints, the most vicious curses and the most tormented regrets. She admits that she is vain, otherwise she wouldn't be high-spirited in front of others, but depressed after others.So she never imagined that today, she would tell Chu Hangsheng all the troubles that she had hidden for too long like a bamboo tube pouring beans. And the expression on his face, there is no surprise, no sympathy, no compassion, only calm and warm acceptance, which makes people feel the peace from the heart. He is a very good listener. Perhaps, also a very good teacher. "Actually, no matter what line of work you do, as long as you deal with people, especially when you need to deal with different people, you have to go through these," he said. "From unfamiliarity to adaptation, there is no leap, only a process." "I thought I'd gotten used to it." She smiled wryly. "Adaptation is also staged. At the beginning, you feel wronged, sad, and regretful. The so-called adaptation is nothing more than simple patience. Even if someone is superficial and hostile, you will accommodate," he looked at her, and slowly He said, his eyes were a little wandering, as if he was thinking, and he seemed to be recalling, "gradually, you don't need to endure, because there is no harm, so there is no such thing as patience. You may still despise, sometimes You will be disdainful, but when you face them, you will smile and greet them just right. There will always be a sense of distance, but it will not be sad, and it will even easily lead to the inertia of passing by. Adaptation, I think, should be your recognition of the people around you. Your perspective becomes more and more objective, your mentality becomes more open-minded, you begin to see their benefits and strengths, and you begin to understand from the bottom of your heart that they also have The cuteness, the cleverness. You become more and more tolerant, and learn to take the best and discard the dross, and then you will really adapt.” "That is to say, sooner or later we have to compromise." Mu Xin sighed. "Compromise is passive, it's unwillingness; adaptation is active, it's being able to get nourishment from it, and enjoy yourself. In fact, there is an essential difference." Chu Hangsheng smiled slightly, "Of course, it's difficult. When people are in adversity , It’s hard to feel that this kind of bitter life can nourish yourself. You have to go out, go up, and then look back at this experience before you can admit that those detours were not in vain.” "Have you taken a detour?" Mu Xin shook his head after asking, and smiled, "Forget it, it's useless to ask, since you were young, how can you not be smooth?" "Really?" Chu Hangsheng looked out the window, but his tone suddenly became a little melancholy, "There are some scars that others can't see, but because they are all in the dark. Like you, maybe you feel unhappy sometimes, but your junior brother Junior sisters, how many people would envy you for being able to wear a police uniform and have the status of a civil servant? What others see is always good, but in fact it’s just because others are not in it, so they can’t empathize.” "You mean, you've gone through detours too? Like me?" Mu Xin was confused. "You joined a major newspaper after graduation, and you can change jobs if you want to. There are always ways out. What detours can you take?" "How can there be only one path in life? Whether it's career or family, they all influence each other and worry about each other," Chu Hang paused, "What's more, even if it's career path, I don't care about it. Stumbling along the way. Just like when I first became a reporter, I was full of enthusiasm, extreme and impulsive, thinking that I was Bao Qingtian, who could eradicate rape and evil. In the end, I had to stumble and found that the reporter was just a communicator who could report objectively , can also be reasonably explained, but there is no right to judge." Mu Xin was stunned, and after a while she suddenly smiled and said, "Don't talk about these heavy topics, tell me about you, what kind of person is my sister-in-law?" "She... is very capable and pretty, one year younger than me," Chu Hang said carefully, speaking slowly but cautiously, "Her family is here. After I graduated, I worked there for a year, and then she graduated , wanted to come back, so we came back. But I didn’t expect that she went to Hong Kong again after not staying here for long.” "Actually, I used to envy her the kind of life she lived." Mu Xin looked at the police uniform on her body and found it very interesting. "Be a well-dressed white-collar worker, walk in the forefront of fashion, and use knowledge to earn money to support yourself every day. .Life is busy, but there are challenges everywhere, and there are wonderful things everywhere.” "It's still the same reason, seeing other people think it's wonderful, but seeing yourself often feels hopeless," Chu Hang laughed, "You don't know that there are white-collar workers in Nanjing who resigned to take the civil service exam?" "Did you lose your mind?" Mu Xin stared. "It's true. Foreign companies are under a lot of pressure. Either they dare not get married, or they dare not have children after marriage. They have reached the peak of their careers at the age of thirty. After that, some people can still make it to the top, but most people start to decline. In In many places, there is no doubt that they are eating youth food." Chu Hangsheng's words reminded Mu Xin of what Yang Qian said when he graduated. Thinking about it now, Yang Qian really didn't think like a young man in his mid-twenties who was full of drive.She looked at Chu Hangsheng and miraculously felt that there was also a faint shadow of Yang Qian in him. If it wasn't for the sudden phone call in the middle of the dinner, perhaps Mu Xin would have continued to be immersed in a little bit of anxiety and more joy, and she even wanted to visit Chu Hangsheng's home at one point.But by chance, Xiao Yuhua's call came at this time. Mu Xin picked up the phone, and before she could hold the phone firmly, she heard her mother-in-law yelling anxiously: "Mu Xin, come back quickly, your father suffered a heart attack and was hospitalized!" Mu Xin's face suddenly changed. Xiao Yuhua's voice was loud, and Chu Hang's voice was inseparable. He didn't speak, but waved to the waiter to check out while Mu Xin was on the phone to find out the situation.Soon, he made a gesture, and Mu Xin left the table behind him, and walked towards the door while listening to Xiao Yuhua.When he walked outside the door, Chu Hangsheng slightly tugged on her wrist and led her towards the newspaper office. After finally hanging up the phone, Mu Xin was also a little anxious: "What should I do? Should I ask for leave before returning to Xiushan?" "It's probably already lunch at this time, so you call the leader right now, I'll go back to work to pick up the car and take you home," Chu Hangsheng didn't give Mu Xin a chance to refuse, "Stand here and wait, I'll go Go and come." Mu Xin nodded, looked gratefully at the direction Chu Hangsheng walked away, and then took out her mobile phone to ask for leave.Ten minutes later, she got into Chu Hangsheng's car and drove fast all the way to Xiushan People's Hospital.The two of them didn't talk much on the way, and the occasional conversations were all about myocardial infarction. Chu Hangsheng seemed to know everything well, and what he said could make Mu Xin feel a little at ease. When they arrived, Yang Qian had already arrived.Seeing Chu Hang's voice, Yang Qian was stunned for a moment, until Mu Xin introduced him as "the elder brother who used to live in the same yard", Yang Qian shook hands politely, and Mu Xin grabbed him and asked about the situation without even caring about the small talk. Mu Xin really couldn't believe it, how could Yang Chenglin have a myocardial infarction?He's obviously been in good health!Mu Xin couldn't accept this fact—to Mu Xin, Yang Chenglin was a shade and a protective umbrella under Xiao Yuhua's huge shadow. He was kind and kind, and often spoke for Mu Xin.Sometimes Xiao Yuhua's words are not pleasant, and Yang Chenglin said to Mu Xin behind her back when she was not paying attention, "Your mother is this kind of person. She doesn't speak well, but she doesn't have any malice. Don't take it to heart." can fall? Mu Xin bit her lower lip, feeling a little sad - since her father passed away, she hasn't called the word "Dad" for a long time.When I first called Yang Chenglin, I also felt jerky, but it didn't take long before I felt that this is really a family, an old man who loves children, and her other "father".She didn't want him to be busy. Such worries came from the bottom of her heart. 不过好在，那天经过抢救，杨成林终于从死神手中被拉回来。情况虽然凶险，但因为治疗及时，终究没有造成更严重的后果。褚航声一直陪到转危为安的结果出来才礼貌地告辞，离开时肖玉华看着褚航声的背影颇有些警觉，那目光让穆忻看了很不舒服。最后还是穆忻送褚航声离开，走之前褚航声留了句话：“如果有去大医院治疗的需要，给我打电话，我认识省立医院心内科的主任。” 穆忻点点头，目送他走远。 转身回病房，结果没想到还真让褚航声说着了——肖玉华正在医生办公室和医生谈话，态度强硬，不知道的还以为她是哪个大人物的太太。理由很简单，就是县级医院水平差，这么严重的心脏疾病，至少也要去市区里的三甲医院。 杨谦默不做声，那毕竟是他的父亲，他希望父亲好好的，所以对母亲的建议并没有太大反对意见。他也没有想到转院后要如何照顾病人、如何送饭等一系列再实际不过的问题。可这些问题穆忻并不方便提出来，无论是对肖玉华还是杨谦，她只要开口，必将担上大逆不道的罪名。她不敢冒这个险。 “必须转院！”肖玉华回到儿子和儿媳妇身边，斩钉截铁，“我不相信这种小地方的破医院，必须转院！” “那就转吧，先得去联系医院吧？”杨谦有点没主意，看看穆忻。 “刚才褚哥走的时候说，他认识省立医院心内科的主任。”穆忻嗫嚅着说。 “那太好了，你给他打电话，就说我们要转院，”肖玉华面色平静，“我已经想好了，穆忻，你不是在市局帮忙吗？正好也在市区，再好不过了。那就咱俩一起照顾你爸，杨谦在这边上班，顾不上，就算了。咱俩两班倒，白天我照顾你爸，就在医院附近订餐就好。你下班后抓紧休息，晚点来换我，早晨我再早点去换你，也忙得过来。市局既然借了人，总该解决住宿问题吧？我倒班时住你那里就行，还省了住旅馆的钱……” 她布置得有条不紊，听上去已经胸有成竹。穆忻张口结舌，她实在是想不明白，就刚才这一会儿功夫，肖玉华是怎么把所有事儿都琢磨明白的？而且还能理直气壮地让穆忻白天上班、晚上照顾病人，还要去住市局安排给她的宿舍，她这思维是不是也太耿直了一点？ 可是让穆忻没想到的是，居然连杨谦也觉得这个主意好：“对啊，媳妇儿，还真是巧，多亏你去市局帮忙，那里离省立医院也不远，照顾起来正方便。你到底比妈对G城熟，有你在我也放心！” 他说的真挚又诚恳，让穆忻没有任何理由说一个“不”字，只能咬牙点头答应。肖玉华似乎也从没想过穆忻会不答应，只是表情平静地点点头，继续安排：“那穆忻你去给你哥打电话吧，就说要马上联系那边的主任，问问什么时候可以转过去；杨谦你回家给你爸拿点换洗衣物，再买点饭，大家都饿坏了。” 杨谦领命而去，穆忻也只好找个僻静的角落打电话，不出所料，褚航声马上应允。只是快挂电话之前，褚航声又多问了一句：“不需要请个看护吗？” “贵不贵？” “应该不算太贵，我同事请过一个，当时是一个月一千五，八小时的……”褚航声替她打算，“你上班哪有时间陪护？不如让你婆婆和请来的人一起轮班，逢周末你去替你婆婆，这样不至于太累。” 穆忻摇摇嘴唇，眼眶一下子就红了，可是连哽咽都不敢。What can she say?多年不见的邻居哥哥都心疼她又上班又陪护会辛苦，可婆婆的命令不敢违抗，杨谦的信任不忍辜负。她没有别的选择，只能扛着。 可真到了要扛的时候才发现，扛下来，真难。 白天上班，因为还处于学徒阶段，大材料穆忻写不了，只能从初级阶段学起。市南区报来一份关于建设“无违纪科所队”的材料，研究室副主任派给穆忻改。改完了交给主任，主任提出进一步修改意见。回去继续改好，上交，几次三番，终于通过。然后回办公室打印定稿，稿子标题照例是华文中宋小二号字，正文是仿宋三号字，A4纸，行间距30磅，页码居中。然后填办文笺，附在打印好的稿子前面，装订。送研究室主任审阅，签字。再跨越一个小院，去后面的办公楼，送指挥长审阅，签字。指挥长忙，正在接待客人，只能站在走廊上等，还好不算很长，十五分钟后签字完毕。带着签好的办文笺去另一栋楼上的打印室重新排版、印刷，运气好没排队，顺利印好120份，逐一装订。一部分送给收发室直接下发，一部分分别装进刚才趁复印时已经写好的信封，报送市委政法委书记、分管工作的副市长等一干领导。然后再回自己的办公室，将印好的文稿存档，并通过内网把文稿电子版报送给省公安厅、市委市政府相应部门……一套程序，没有半天甚至一天的时间下不来。那些文字里的讲究，那些法言法语的谨慎，那些对案例的把握、对口气的斟酌，甚至是楼上楼下、前院后院不停地跑腿儿，一一应付过来，从脑细胞到肌肉细胞，都要死一半。 然而这些仍没有夜晚辛苦——昏昏欲睡的时候，杨成林打鼾。好不容易半睡半醒休息一会儿，护士进来查房。帮完忙，看结果没事，继续倒在说是床其实不过只是折叠椅的躺椅上睡过去。没睡上半小时，杨成林要起床小便。好在洗手间就在室内，不远。穆忻小心翼翼送他到洗手间门口，撑着眼皮警醒着等，随时准备在听到可疑声响时破门而入抢救人命。终于等到杨成林回到床上，再次发出鼾声，穆忻却觉得自己的太阳穴附近有一跳一跳的疼。好不容易又睡过去，最多两个多小时，护士又来查房……早晨，穆忻站在洗手间镜子前，看自己的黑眼圈和眼睛里的红血丝，心里滋味莫辨。 可是，这些，没处说，没法说。 向市局请假回去休息吗？不可能的——且不说借调期间人人都巴不得表现得勤勤恳恳、兢兢业业，明知没希望但也仍抱着能留在上级单位的幻想；单说肖玉华，她那么聪明的人，如果不是一脸倦容，怎么能换来她一分一毫的满意？ 穆忻觉得，她就是在自我摧残，摧残到体无完肤、灰飞烟灭，才能证明她尽心了，才能满足肖玉华的苛刻。她不知道自己算不算现代的“二十四孝小媳妇”，她只知道每天都要安慰自己：说这是孝道，是儿女必须回报父母的养育之恩；说这是情分，是冲着杨谦的嘱托、信任以及爱；说这是责任，既然推不掉，不如尽心尽力画个句号。 当然，也有对杨成林的敬重——老人不忍让年轻的儿媳妇受累，偶尔起夜时穆忻没醒，他会再多忍忍，直到忍不住，才起身下床往洗手间走；他趁肖玉华不在就催穆忻休息，隔壁病床出院那晚，他帮穆忻放风，让她在肖玉华赶来之前躺在旁边床上睡个好觉；他替穆忻说了无数次好话，面对肖玉华听起来像和气建议其实不过是吹毛求疵的要求，他挡着；他更提出过出院，甚至提出过请护工陪床，尽管被肖玉华驳回，但他的好，穆忻记在心里。 也是托医院水平高的福：没有放支架，溶栓后也没有并发症。一段时间后，杨成林获准出院，穆忻闻讯长舒一口气，那天中午趴在办公桌上睡觉时都踏实了不少，连有人进门开电脑工作都没有察觉到。醒来时脸上印了挺深的两道印子，自己已经觉得挺窘，结果还被主任嘻嘻哈哈笑了一阵。但她没觉得尴尬，反倒觉得心里有多日不见的敞亮——真的，再这样下去，穆忻怕自己会过劳死。 劳神，劳身，劳心。可仍然要听肖玉华那么“和气”地拖着穆忻的手说：“闺女你辛苦了，妈知道你不容易。正好昨天晚上路过批发市场，看里面有做被子的，我就给你做了床蚕丝被。蚕丝啊！好东西！冬暖夏凉！我称了二斤半，今年冬天你看着吧，保准又轻快又暖和，叫你以后都不想盖棉被！” 穆忻愣一下，想自己没听错吧，二斤半的蚕丝被，要冬天盖？如果她没记错，结婚时郝慧楠咬牙大出血，送她一床六斤重的冬天用蚕丝被，当时的市价是1500元…… 可还没等她想明白，肖玉华继续感慨：“刚巧我们原来厂里的老姐妹给我打电话，我说我买蚕丝被呢，结果人家说什么？人家说老肖你真是个好婆婆啊，你也太大方了，还给儿媳妇买蚕丝被！可不是嘛，我们都活了大半辈子了，谁不是盖棉被啊……” “妈您不用这么客气的，蚕丝被您留着用就好，我用棉被就行。”穆忻急忙表态。 “那不行，说买给你的就是给你的，必须你盖，”肖玉华满脸都是笑，洋溢着一种由衷的自豪感，“你从小家境不好，我看也没什么贵重东西，这个就算妈给你的礼物，以后再慢慢给你添置。结婚嘛，按咱这儿的风俗是得给准备被子的，你娘家没准备，我给你补上！” 穆忻的脸“腾”的一下子就红了，那一瞬间，不知道是尴尬，气愤，委屈，还是什么别的情绪，只知道杨成林无数次试图打断肖玉华的自说自话，但都被肖玉华视若无睹了。她似乎到这会儿才明白，肖玉华为什么从来都看不上自己这个儿媳妇，为什么从来都不热情，从来都话里带刺，从来都喜欢上纲上线说她没家教、不矜持，只因为——原来，她看不起她！ 她父亲死了，没靠山；母亲下岗了，弱势群体；家里穷，除了C市的一套也不算太值钱的房子和一屁股债以外，一无所有。她和杨谦的婚礼，在肖玉华主办下也算是漂漂亮亮。她知道自己家没有为这场婚礼作出任何贡献，所以也没有任何要求。结婚那天的首饰都是租婚纱时配套租来的，素戒一枚，求婚时杨谦买的。礼金一分钱都没要，哪怕是她同学朋友的那部分，也没要。不是因为她心虚，也不是因为她自卑，仅仅是因为将心比心，知道公婆攒钱也不容易，所以从未在钱上有过任何计较。可是，即便这样，还是不行吗？ 穆忻的心，在瞬间，沉到深不可见的水底，冰凉的，缩成紧而颤抖的一团。 那天，穆忻不记得自己是怎样走回市公安局，又怎样走到隔壁省报大门口的。或许是在路边呆呆地站了很久，但具体多久她也记不清了。直到夕阳西下，她在最疲惫、最没有指望的时候，遇到了刚采访回来的褚航声。他从相反方向走来，在她背后叫了她两声，她都没有听见。他终于快走两步，转到她面前，扳过她的肩，叫她的名字。却在那一瞬惊讶地发现，他从小到大都没见过掉一滴眼泪的丫头，已经泪流满面。 也是那一瞬，穆忻恍惚着想起了她的婚礼——她没有丰厚嫁妆，娘家也没掏一分钱的婚礼；她险些忘记，但肖玉华从未忘记过的婚礼；以及她承诺过，无论贫穷、灾难、疾病，都要此生不离不弃的那场婚礼。 那是他们最初的誓言。 是以为要信守一辈子的誓言。 可如今，这一辈子，还能一起走多远？