Chapter 14 Chapter Fourteen A Boring Weekend
Meijia, Guan Gu, and Xiaoxian sat in front of the coffee table respectfully.
Meijia pretended to host this small welcome party: "The red flag flutters in the east wind, and the motherland has a new look. I warmly welcome Comrade Zeng Xiaoxian, who will officially move into Room 3602 of our love apartment. Next, Mr. Guan Gu will speak." It was like a welcome party for recruits. .
Xiaoxian, Guan Gu sat upright and clapped hard.
Guan Gu corrected his posture and said seriously: "Mr. Zeng, you are welcome to stay in the iPartment again. I want to say... ah. I say... ah, this... ah." Zhao Benshan panted heavily.
Meijia knocked on the table and severely criticized: "Guan Gu, speak human words."
Guan Gu changed his restraint just now: "I don't know what to say, if there is anything you are not used to living here, just tell me." He said and patted Xiaoxian's thigh roughly.
Xiaoxian was flattered, and wanted to use his usual teasing to get closer: "There shouldn't be anything unaccustomed to it, after all, it's 17 steps away from the room I used to live in next door. Can you stop being so nasty." Still a little embarrassed.
Meijia finally revealed her real intention: "Today is the first weekend that Mr. Zeng moved here. It's too boring at home. Should we plan some fun activities?"
Xiaoxian suggested: "By the way, how about we buy a lot of chicken wings and drumsticks first, and then go to the wild for barbecue?" It seems that he is still reluctant to part with the days of traveling alone.
Meijia was not very satisfied: "Barbecue? If you eat too much, you will get angry."
Guan Gu thought it was good: "Well, then, I know there is a farmhouse where we can pick some green leaves and vegetables by ourselves, and then..."
Regarding Guan Gu's supplementary proposal, Mika became somewhat interested: "Wow! This one is elegant and close to nature. What happens after picking?"
Guan Gu said solemnly: "Then we can take out the chicken wings and drumsticks we bought earlier, and use the picked green leaves and vegetables as firewood for barbecue!"
Mika's expression froze. "Okay, okay, anyway, it's time to pick vegetables and fruits. You guys want to grill, but I don't want to grill." The promise was reluctant.
Guan Gu was very happy: "That's it, let's go to the farmhouse on weekends!"
"Okay, but I still have a few small boxes of luggage in the corridor. Why don't you go to spend the weekend together after I finish packing?" Xiaoxian suddenly remembered.
Meijia took the initiative to say, "We can clean up for you."
Xiaoxian scratched his ears: "No need, I'll do it myself." Being too polite made him feel uncomfortable.
Guan Gu also volunteered: "You're welcome, you can prepare the chicken wings for barbecue, and we will help you with the rest."
Meijia's words were warm: "Since you moved here, we are a family."
"Thank you, I feel -- my heart is very warm." After living in no fixed place, Xiaoxian cherished it even more and invited him again.
10 minutes later.The living room was suddenly filled with about thirty cardboard boxes, large and small, filling the entire room.
Guan Gu put a huge box on top of another even bigger box, and took a breath: "Mr. Zeng's heart is very warm, and I feel very breathless now. Didn't he say that there are only a few small boxes, which are enough to hold several containers?" gone."
Meijia wiped the sweat from her forehead: "When can we go to have barbecue?"
Guan Gu said pessimistically: "At our current speed, we may be able to eat it next month. By the way, where is Zi Qiao?"
Just as they focused on Zi Qiao's whereabouts, a box in the corner was wriggling strangely.
Zi Qiao is fiddling with the phone.
Wan Yu leaned over with great interest: "Zi Qiao, are you using your mobile phone to surf the Internet?" She looked very envious.
Zi Qiao said proudly: "Yes, this mobile phone is often disconnected, but the Internet is very fast. It is no problem to watch videos on Youtube and chat with mm. You can also use the love apartment. The copycat phone is a cow!" Arrived Everywhere seems to be an endorsement for counterfeit mobile phones.
Wan Yu said enthusiastically: "What's your name on the 'Love Apartment' website? I want to add you as a friend, but I can't find you."
Ziqiao squinted her eyes and asked her, "What keywords are you searching for?"
"Lu Ziqiao?" Wan Yu thought the question was so silly.
Zi Qiao felt that Wan Yu was so stupid: "Wrong. I now have a new online name - called 'Rejector'."
"Rejector?" Wan Yu only thought literally, a little skeptical.
Xiaoxian didn't believe it at all: "You?" It seemed that if you could refuse beautiful women, I could refuse to be a billionaire.
"Layers are all laymen." Zi Qiao said contemptuously.He pulled out a blackboard in his mind, on which the three characters of "rejector" were written in chalk, and said treacherously in his heart: "This name is particular, you can remove the side radicals and have a look again." Wipe it off, smirk.
Ziqiao didn't reveal the true meaning of the "rejector" to prevent others from plagiarizing, but deliberately threw out a scandal to show her achievements: "I tell you, I'm really in love this time. I met on the Internet. Her name is 'The Lost Little White Rabbit', which sounds like a low IQ, but when we chatted, we realized that it was too late for us to meet."
Wan Yu grinned and said, "What a nasty name, what did she call you?"
"She kindly called me 'the mighty little tiger'." Zi Qiao showed off her muscles.
Yifei wanted to be intuitive: "Do you have any photos? Let me take a look." Ziqiao handed over her phone to look, "Why does she look so much like Lin Chiling?"
Xiaoxian rushed over: "Lin Chiling! What Lin Chiling, where is my Xiaoling?"
Ziqiao pointed nervously: "Teacher Zeng, look, at 2 o'clock, 4 o'clock, 6 o'clock, she has come to the bar."
"Lin Chiling?"
"I saw another one who looks like Guan Zhilin." Zi Qiao's saliva was about to flow out.
"Damn!" Xiaoxian disagreed.
Zi Qiao got excited again: "I have to act."
Yifei sarcastically said, "Don't you have Lin Chiling?"
Ziqiao showed a charming smile: "How can Lin Chiling be enough? There are also Jolin Tsai, Songling Chen, Meiling Weng and Kelly Chen!"
Wan Yu scolded: "Sooner or later you will alarm the 110 if you continue like this."
Ziqiao pretended not to hear, left her seat, and went up to strike up a conversation.
Mika and Guan Gu rushed in in a panic.
Yifei asked, "What's wrong with you two?"
Guan Gu snatched the wine glass from Xiaoxian's hand and drank it.
Xiaoxian said depressedly: "Hey, even if you are a close family, you should pay attention to hygiene. I have a cold, so you are not afraid of contagion?"
Guan Gu calmed down his emotions: "Listen, you don't know, Mika and I were in the room just now... Oh my God." Before he finished speaking, he became excited again.
Yifei squinted at the two of them: "You can't be that...can't you hold back?"
"We..." Meijia panted, "...we—two..." She was so excited that she couldn't speak.
Xiaoxian thinks he has seen through everything: "It's okay, a man and a widow live in the same room, the sky is dry and things are dry, so it's understandable for a gun to go off."
"Can't you let us finish the conversation?" Meijia scolded.
Xiaoxian spread his hands, expressing his helplessness: "It's because you didn't finish the sentence yourself."
Guan Gu said secretly: "We...we saw something in the apartment."
"Very bad, very bad things..." Mika said horribly.
The matter dates back to when Guan Gu and Meijia helped Xiaoxian carry luggage.
A lot of big cardboard boxes were brought into the room.
"Guangu, aren't you going to buy small appliances? I think we will save trouble after Mr. Zeng moves in. We can use his." Meijia calculated carefully.
"For example." Guan Gu needs some specific advice.
Meijia took out a hair dryer from the box: "For example, this hair dryer."
Guan Gu looked carefully: "This is my hair dryer."
"What about this coffee machine? We already have a coffee machine." Meijia took out another coffee machine while talking.
Guan Gu looked carefully again: "We already have a coffee machine. And, I'm sure it's this one."
"Why is it always at Teacher Zeng's place?" Meijia was full of doubts.
Guan Gu figured out the mystery: "I have always respected Mr. Zeng, and he disappointed me so much."
Guan Gu and Mika were going to talk about strange things, but they unknowingly turned into Xiaoxian's criticism meeting.
Xiaoxian quickly argued: "Zi Qiao gave it to me. He said that these two things symbolize our strong friendship."
Sekiya replied: "Sodexo. (Japanese)"
Yifei said disapprovingly: "This is what you saw, very bad, very bad?" His eyes widened.
"Of course not, Mr. Zeng, besides these, you also brought us a..." Guan Gu cried.
Return to the scene of the crime again.
"Then I'll return these things to their original places." Guan Gu picked up the box, and something fell from the bottom of the box.
Meijia saw it, her eyes widened, and she trembled: "My god~~ Guan Gu, something fell out of the box."
Guan Gu looked around: "What?"
"Look!" Mika pointed to the floor. Some kind of creature was slowly approaching Guan Gu and Mika.
Guan Gu also saw it: "Ahhhhhh."
Meijia swiped the ground and jumped onto Guan Gu's body. "It's coming. It's coming. What are you still standing here for? Go. Go."
Guan Gu hugged Mijia and was about to flee: "I want to go too, tell me quickly, which leg should I step on first?" It seemed that his legs and feet were numb from fright.
Mika commanded: "Left leg, left leg!"
Guan Gu said in a daze, "Of course I know it's the left leg, but which side is the left?"
Meijia couldn't care less, and directly ordered: "Quick, get out, get out."
Guan Gu couldn't understand human speech anymore: "You tell it to go out, can it understand?"
"Of course I told us to go out." Mijia was so anxious that she was about to cry, Guan Gu hurriedly carried Mijia to the gate.
Guan Gu called for help: "We have no way."
Meijia shouted: "Open the door, open the door!"
Guan Gu asked confusedly: "You are on me, which hand should I use to open the door?"
Meijia hurriedly jumped down, and the two hurriedly opened the door and escaped.
Go back to the sofa area.
Xiaoxian asked softly, "What is that?"
Guan Gu and Meijia said in unison: "That is the scariest and most disgusting thing I have ever seen——"
"Go on." Xiaoxian pricked up his ears nervously.
Guan Gu and Meijia said at the same time: "A big mouse." "A big cockroach."
Xiaoxian was confused: "Huh?"
Meijia yelled at Guan Gu: "Guan Gu, you read it wrong, how could this be a mouse? This is a cockroach."
Guan Gu asked, "Where are the cockroaches so big?"
Mika said eagerly: "So I said it's a super giant cockroach."
Guan Gu insisted on his own opinion: "Meijia, you are wrong. I can see clearly that this is a mouse with beards growing around its mouth. Only mice can grow beards."
"But those whiskers don't grow from the mouth, but from the top of the head. They are the antennae." Mika stretched out two fingers and gestured on the head.
Wan Yu said seriously: "Do you know where many artists' imaginations come from? Most of them are scared out of cockroaches. They call this inspiration."
Guan Gu was eager to convince everyone: "I've seen cockroaches, but I swear it's not this time, the situation is much more terrifying this time. It's a mouse." He raised his hand as a gesture of oath.
Yifei sneered: "Oh~ I can understand. Cockroaches can't scare a 1.87-meter Japanese samurai. But mice can. Mr. Samurai, we wrongly blamed you, you were frightened."
"Okay. Guan Gu, let's go, we will buy you a drink. You will calm down." Xiaoxian hooked Guan Gu to the bar.
Meijia suddenly cared for Ziqiao: "Sister Yifei, it's really scary. I have to tell Ziqiao not to go back to the room."
"He won't go back, look, he's picking up girls there." Yifei pointed to a booth not far away, where Ziqiao was having a lively conversation with a crush.
Meijia looked angry: "We are fighting cockroaches at home, but he is happy here, it's too much."
Yifei took the opportunity to suggest: "I'm planning to play tricks on him, do you want to watch?"
Meijia just relieved her anger: "How to play tricks?"
"Look at mine." Yifei picked up the fixed phone at hand, and Ziqiao's phone rang immediately.
Yifei imitated Lin Chiling's voice: "Hello, dear."
Zi Qiao responded: "Hello, who are you?"
Yifei said pretentiously: "I can't even hear my voice? My dear, mighty little tiger."
Ziqiao reacted quickly: "Oh~, it's you! Little aunt, I almost didn't recognize your voice. What's the matter?" While his mind was racing, he didn't forget to cover up in front of the girl opposite.
"Oh, it's nothing, I just feel that my mouth is dry recently, and I want to find someone to give me a warm hug, oh! It would be great if you were by my side now." Yifei was getting better.
Zi Qiaomei began to fly, and the color began to dance: "Traffic accident! What accident? What happened to my uncle? Is he all right?" It's really not something ordinary people can pretend.
"Oh! I'm not feeling well right now, I'm hot all over, and I can't hold it anymore. Do you think it's caused by loneliness?" Yifei stared at Ziqiao not far away, laughing secretly.
Ziqiao put on a painful expression again: "My God! How could you let him drive a tractor by himself, I just said that all four-wheeled machines are demons."
"Come on, my little tiger, come and tear me to pieces. I'll wait for you." Yifei bit her lip.
Wan Yu and Mei Jia smiled tacitly.
Zi Qiao yelled into the phone: "Well, if he needs an organ transplant, I will."
"You know where I live, right?"
"Tell me which hospital is which, and I'll be there right away." Zi Qiao couldn't wait.
"You take the subway line 3 to the end first, then take the ferry, then change to the No. 119 long-distance bus, and arrive at the terminal station. I will wait for you in 'Heaven and Earth'."
"Got it, I'm leaving now. Tell uncle, hold on, I can't lose him." Ziqiao hung up the phone and said to the girl in front of her, "You know...I..." With a crying voice, "I really It's... I'm sorry!" Immediately got up, and walked to Yifei and the others while crying.
Ziqiao said calmly, "You don't have to wait for me for dinner today. I'm going out for a while. There's a girl who needs me."
"Which girl?" Mika asked ambiguously.
Zi Qiao deliberately said: "Remember the 'lost little white rabbit' I said?"
Wan Yu also wanted to give him a hint: "But you haven't even seen her."
Ziqiao was already burning with desire, and didn't care about the reminder at all: "She looks like Lin Chiling, and she also sounds like Lin Chiling. How can there be such a coincidence in the world? My intuition tells me that she is Lin Chiling."
"Zi Qiao, actually..." Wan Yu was about to tell the truth.
Yifei pressed Wanyu: "As a good friend, you should be beautiful as an adult, Ziqiao, go and pursue your happiness."
Ziqiao said cheerfully, "Yifei! You are worthy of my best friend." When she turned around, she said in a crying voice, "Hold on, Uncle Biao~~~"
Xiaoxian pushed the door open and came in, seeing Zhanbo staring at the phone on the coffee table in a daze.
"Zhanbo, you don't intend to move this phone with your mind, do you?"
Zhanbo's eyes were firm: "No, I'm preparing to call Ada. It's brewing."
Yifei also came in: "Ada? Who is Ada."
Zhanbo chuckled: "Oh, it's a girl. She works in the same building as me. I happened to meet her in the cafe yesterday." He said in his heart: "Okay, I followed her all the way from the company to Cafe, 8 streets, she didn't notice me. Hehe."
Yifei sighed: "Okay boy, so you hit on her?"
Zhanbo smirked: "Hehe."
Yifei speculated further: "She also left you a phone number?"
Zhanbo said solemnly: "We exchanged numbers, and she said she would call me, but I think I'm a boy, so I should take the initiative to call him. What do you think, sister!"
Yifei was overjoyed: "Wait." He said and took out three incense sticks from the drawer.
Zhanbo was puzzled: "Sister, what are you doing?"
Yifei took the incense and bowed again and again: "Thanks to our ancestors, Zhanbo finally realized that he is a man!"
Xiaoxian pointed out mercilessly: "Then why are you bowing to Jay Chou's photo?"
Yifei pushed Xiaoxian away: "Don't worry about me! Okay, let's start. Call quickly, I want to witness this historic scene!"
Zhanbo picked up the phone and dialed: "Hi! You... hello, is this Ada? I'm Zhanbo!"
Yifei's eyes were full of expectation.
"Uh, no, I'm not married yet. I - don't need - to apply for a certificate, yes, I don't need a divorce certificate yet." Zhanbo was a little embarrassed, and hung up the phone. "No. Help me see if this number is 1 or 7?"
Yifei took the phone book: "This number is not bad, 139——12345678."
Zhan Bo was puzzled: "Is there any problem?"
Xiaoxian pointed out mercilessly again: "Zhanbo, I would never buy the number 12345678 when I buy lottery tickets."
Zhan Bo was hopelessly stupid: "But this is a phone number, not a lottery ticket."
Xiaoxian patiently explained to him: "If a girl tells me that her cell phone number is 114, I usually won't believe it. Don't you think this number is as ridiculous as 114?" ?"
Zhanbo is so stupid that others are hopeless: "How is it possible? Are you saying that this number is fake?"
Yifei patted him on the shoulder: "Don't be discouraged Zhanbo. It's okay, just relax."
"How could this happen?!" Zhan Bo hugged his head in frustration.
Yifei carefully comforted: "This is normal. If I were a girl, I wouldn't just give the phone to a stranger."
Xiaoxian scolded: "It's really normal, if any stranger is willing to ask for Aunt He Dong's phone number."
Yifei said fiercely, "Did you go to the wrong room, Zeng Xiaoxian?"
Xiaoxian retreated: "I'll get things, ok?"
Zhanbo was indignant: "Why am I a stranger? I met him four times in the company's elevator, she should have an impression of me."
Yifei comforted her in another way: "Maybe it's possible that the girl wants to take the initiative. So, she also has your phone number, right?"
"I gave it to her. What I gave was true." Zhan Bo emphasized.
Xiaoxian wanted to use reality to reassure him: "Sometimes sincerity may not be rewarded. This is how the world is."
Yifei went to the kitchen to make something.Then the phone rang.
Zhanbo immediately rushed over: "Don't touch the phone! I told you. I'm calling, I'm calling." Then he said happily, "Hi! How are you. It feels so good to hear your voice. You looked so good yesterday. it's beautiful."
Xiaoxian stopped, made a gesture of thumbs up, and then left to enter the room.
When Xiaoxian walked away, Zhanbo said seriously to Yifei, "Sister, mom's phone number."
Yifei smiled and took the phone and went to the side to make a call.
Wan Yu came in: "It smells so good."
While filling the rice, Zhanbo said, "My sister made fried rice with eggs. Would you like some?"
"Can't I lose weight recently?" Wan Yu sat down quietly.
Zhanbo asked again: "Lose weight?"
Wan Yu laughed and said, "Okay, pretend I didn't say anything, and give me two big bowls."
Zhanbo kindly reminded: "Are you sure you can eat that much. This is not made by Meijia, but by my sister."
Yifei finished the phone call: "What happened to me?"
"It's nothing, my sister's fried rice with eggs—'Midao Lao Haoer' (Shanghai dialect)." Zhan Bo laughed like a nympho.
Wan Yu began to eat vigorously: "It's delicious, it's delicious."
Zhanbo was very surprised to see her eating big mouthfuls.
Wan Yu said excitedly, "How did you do it?"
Zhanbo was confused: "Have you never eaten fried rice with eggs?"
"I seldom eat it." Wan Yu is Miss Qianjin.
Zhanbo gave her a lesson: "The so-called egg fried rice, also known as rice scrambled eggs, there are only three things in it, eggs, rice, and salt. But my sister makes four."
Wan Yu asked, "What's the fourth thing?"
"Her hair." Zhan Bo picked up a long hair from the bowl.
Yifei came over and said, "Congratulations, I have the fifth one today. I just found out that my 'false nails' fell in." She raised her nameless finger to indicate that among the five fingers, only this one has no fake nails on it.
Wan Yu said sweetly: "Yifei, your cooking is delicious. Can you teach me how to do it some other day?"
Zhanbo couldn't believe it: "Wanyu, you've been on a hunger strike for several days. Only a starving ghost would think that her cooking is delicious."
Yifei turned to Zhanbo: "How do you talk?" Then she smiled and turned her head, "Wanyu, why do you need another day? How about I teach you today."
Wan Yu reminded: "Today is the weekend, don't you need to date Mr. Shen?"
Yifei said disapprovingly: "Dating can be done any day, but you have to find an apprentice with potential and taste. It is not something you can meet every day. You must know that making fried rice with eggs is an art." Yu's back, helping her swallow by the way.
Wan Yu exclaimed happily: "That's great."
Zhanbo clicked, he bit something.
Yifei immediately exclaimed: "You bit my——false nail." She raised her nameless sign.
Meijia ran to the bar again: "It appeared again. This time we looked more carefully." Meijia took the cup from Xiaoxian's hand and drank it.
Xiaoxian was depressed: "Hey! Please don't do this, okay?"
Guan Gu followed up: "It's even bigger. His growth rate is terrifying!"
Time went back to the living room just now.Guan Gu accidentally saw that monster again, his expression was suddenly serious, and he gestured to Mika with his eyes.Mika saw it too, and the two stood up.The monster was moving towards them, cornering them. Mika said bitterly: "Okay. We have to act." Meijia touched a bottle of insecticide from the side, and Guan Gu picked up a thick phone book.Meijia sprayed insecticide on the monster fiercely, Guan Gu raised the phone yellow page high, and slammed it down. "Ahhhhhhh." Mika screamed, unable to bear to watch, Guan Gu covered Mika's eyes with one hand and his own with the other. Guan Gu comforted: "Okay, it's all over, it's over." Mika pinched Guan Gu's fingers, and Guan Gu also opened his fingers, sneaking a glance at the monster. The two exclaimed again: "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" The two men froze in place, with the thick phone yellow pages pressed against the monster on the ground, and they were still moving forward slowly. Guan Gu and Mika looked at each other, then hurriedly escaped from the room. Xiaoxian poured himself another glass of wine: "Are you sure you have seen clearly this time?" Mika nodded: "Of course, he has a hard shell, 6 legs, just like a cockroach..." Guan Gu interrupted: "However, he also has the characteristics of a mouse. Gray fur and a long tail." Xiaoxian was confused again: "Wait, wait, what is it? A cockroach or a mouse?" He felt that the two of them still didn't see clearly, which was very unreliable. Guan Gu gestured to Mika——we can draw a conclusion. Meijia announced loudly: "After we discussed and decided, this is a cockroach." Xiaoxian tilted his neck and asked, "What?" Guan Gu added conclusion: "It can also be called 'mouse Xiaoqiang'." Xiaoxian asked again: "You mean, he is a mouse but his name is Xiaoqiang?" I thought it was too funny. Mika asserted: "No! He is a composite mutant of two types of creatures." Xiaoxian drank a glass of wine and looked at the ceiling: "It's ridiculous. How can mammals and insects fit together?" Guan Gu disturbed his ears: "We can't find any other reasonable explanation." Mika explained in her way of thinking: "You know, there is the possibility that a drunk cockroach meets a mouse that just broke up in love, and then they..." Xiaoxian confronted each other and said: "Oh, it's possible. It's also possible that a drunk ant met a lovelorn elephant, and then the ant became pregnant with the elephant's child." . Meijia said unconvinced: "But cockroaches do exist!" Guan Gu made a prophecy to Xiaoxian: "Mr. Zeng, you have moved here now. I believe you will definitely come across it. Don't blame us for not reminding you, it is disgusting." Meijia grinned and exaggerated: "Very, very disgusting." Mika Guan Gu stood up and left angrily. Yifei came into the bar and met two people at the door: "Everyone is okay. I just saw that your room was not closed." Guan Gu said fiercely: "It's easy to say, we don't even have time to close the door!" Yifei's cell phone rang, and it was Ziqiao's voice. "Yifei, let me tell you a big news!" Yifei said angrily, "Ziqiao, aren't you going on a date with Lin Chiling? How is it going?" Ziqiao bit the bullet and made it up: "Uh...it's okay. It's just that we didn't talk very speculatively. So..." "How can you be less speculative?" Yifei imitated Lin Chiling's tone, "Dear little tiger. Didn't you tear me apart?" Zi Qiao said angrily: "It turned out to be you. Hu Yifei, you fuck me. Are you too boring?" Being thousands of miles away, it was indeed helpless. Yifei said sarcastically: "You can come back and challenge me one-on-one, oh, I forgot, you won't be back for a while." Ziqiao suddenly changed his tone: "Yifei, I want to thank you." It seemed to be from the heart. Yifei was not interested this time: "Huh? Thank me? Did you fall into the ditch and knock your head off?" Zi Qiao explained: "I didn't fall into the ditch, I just saw a group of sows lined up and fell into the ditch on the road!" Yifei was stunned: "Huh?" "I captured this wonderful moment, took it with my mobile phone, and uploaded the video to youtube. I believe that within an hour, my video will be on the top of the popularity list. So I want to thank you , if it weren't for you, I really wouldn't be able to shoot such a classic video!" Yifei's expression was very speechless: "Zi Qiao, you admire you, you are actually more boring than me." Zi Qiao was still pestering: "Do you want to go up and look? I'll send you the link." "Forget it, you must be trying to get revenge on me, so I won't be fooled. Play me, in the next life." Yifei took it for granted, and quickly hung up the phone. Soft music was playing on the radio.Wan Yu was beating eggs and cutting square leg meat.Zhanbo is building a "pulp cake house" - a small house model that can be eaten. Yifei strode in. Wan Yu greeted her with a smile: "Feifei, I am practicing hard, and I will definitely not embarrass you, Master." Yifei said to Zhanbo: "What are you doing? Playing house? Hasn't Ada called you yet?" "No." Zhan Bo was still fiddling with his house. Yifei sneered and said, "You're quite calm." Wan Yu told the truth: "Don't be deceived by him, this is a superficial phenomenon." Suddenly the phone rang, and Zhan Bo scrambled to get the phone. Wan Yu smiled at Yifei: "See?" Zhanbo excitedly picked up the phone: "Hi! It's me——I said, I don't want a set meal." He put it down depressed again. I saw Wan Yu holding a spoon, carefully measuring how much salt to put in. Yifei asked strangely: "Wanyu, what are you doing?" Wan Yu said solemnly: "Didn't you teach me? Put half a teaspoon of salt?" "It's not like this." Yifei said, pouring some salt into her hand, and sprinkled it into the bowl, "Did you see it? It should be like this." Wan Yu was stunned: "Huh?" Yifei smiled and taught: "Okay, in the second class, you have to learn to relax. Do you know? Cooking requires heart, passion, and desire, so that you can cook well." Wan Yu was even more surprised: "Huh?" "Let's put aside all distracting thoughts. Therefore, this music should also be changed. Without enthusiasm, there will be no good works." Yifei pressed the speaker, and the gentle music turned into rock.Following the music, she writhed frantically, wriggled to the side of the pancake house, punched it down casually, and picked up a slice to eat. "Ahhh! My roof." Zhanbo screamed, and came to protect himself with his body, "I finally calmed down, and you ruined my only spiritual sustenance." While eating, Yifei said, "Your sustenance—it's delicious." Guan Gu is drawing on the drawing board.Meijia was explaining at the side, and the audience was sitting beside her——Xiaoxian and Wanyu. "I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing for our love apartment. However, we did discover a new species—the cockroach." "Last time I saw it, the size is about the same as a potato. But his weight gain is amazing." Guan Gu turned the drawing board around, and there was a thing that looked like a mouse and a cockroach on it. Xiaoxian teased: "So——now it's called Cockroach Potato Mouse?" Meijia knocked on the table: "Please be serious, I'm not joking, this is a cockroach." Guan Gu also came to explain: "I even gave him a Japanese name—Godgilla." Xiaoxian imitated: "The dog is in a hurry?" Guan Gu asked, "Does Godzilla know?" Wan Yu raised her hand: "You mean Godzilla? I know, I've seen the movie." Guan Gu is very satisfied with Wan Yu's answer: "Godzilla was just an ordinary lizard in the past. After being affected by nuclear radiation for a long time, he mutated into a monster with a body length of 80 meters. According to my guess, the formation of cockroaches and rats we saw The reason is similar to Godzilla. So I named him Godgilla." Wan Yu frowned and asked, "You mean there are monsters in your room?" Xiaoxian is still teasing: "I understand Guangu quite well. He is from Japan and has a special feeling for monsters." Meijia said sternly: "No! Don't take it lightly just because this monster is not big now." Guan Gu didn't seem to be joking either: "That's right. Our environment is being polluted in various ways every day: sewage, waste, radiation, noise, many creatures that should exist are dying, and there are also many that should not exist. Creatures are coming into being too. Godgilla is the perfect example!" Wan Yu and Xiao Xian looked at each other in blank dismay. Guan Gu's cell phone rang, and he left to answer the call in the living room.It's Zi Qiao calling. "Guan Gu, it's me, Zi Qiao." Guan Gu said first, "Zi Qiao, I have something very important to tell you." "I also have something very important to tell you." The two said at the same time, "I'll talk first." Ziqiao issued the password: "Guess the fist. Rock paper scissors." In two places, Guan Gu was out, but Zi Qiao was not.But Guan Gu didn't realize that there was a fraud in it. Zi Qiao asked on the phone: "What are you doing?" Guan Gu replied honestly: "Scissors. What about you?" Zi Qiao immediately said: "I'll give you a stone, you lose. Let me say first. I just took a very, very precious video. I have uploaded it to YouTube with my mobile phone. Would you like to go up and have a look. A group of sows The line fell into the ditch. Hahahaha." Guan Gu didn't bother to compete with him at all: "What's so great about it. It's too pediatric. Let me tell you, a godgilla was found in our room." "Godgilla?" Guan Gu continued the explanation just now on the phone: "A mutant that is both a cockroach and a mouse. If I capture it, it will be the top ten most popular YouTube videos of the year. You step aside." Zi Qiao didn't believe it at all: "Guan Gu, we don't bring nonsense, I'm serious. Come on YouTube and help me become popular." Guan Gu was very upset: "You are allowed to find the sow falling into the ditch, but I am not allowed to find cockroaches and rats? Shit!" Zi Qiao was teased every phone call, no one believed him, and now even the most honest Guan Gu used monsters to tease him, which made him sad. "It's fine if you don't watch it. I was so full that I took the subway, the ferry, and the long-distance bus. I traveled thousands of miles to shoot a video just to share it with my friends. Is it easy for me? How dare you make up cockroaches and rats? Me. You don't know how to cherish it." Guan Gu regretted his attitude just now: "Did you really——run so far to shoot a video?" "It's absolutely true." Guan Gu opened his mouth: "You are so..." before closing it. "I'm great, aren't I?" Zi Qiao regained her spirits immediately. Guan Gu spoke a complete sentence quickly: "You are so fucking boring." Zi Qiao's heart fell into the ice hole. Wan Yu then asked, "Will it reproduce?" Meijia pondered for a while and said: "If he is a hermaphrodite, he may reproduce by himself. This is what I am most worried about." "Oh~ learn to be old, live to be old." Xiaoxian imitated Guan Gu. Guan Gu came back and continued: "Obviously, the whole thing is still a mystery. There are still many mysteries in this world that we don't know about." Wan Yu also began to tease: "That's right, the biggest mystery is—how much did the two of you drink?" Meijia was sad: "Wanyu, even you don't believe us?" "You may just see a very common insect or other animal, and then exaggerate it in your mind, like this." Wan Yu pointed to the godgilla drawn on the picture, "Does it really have such long teeth?" Guan Gu pouted his head and said embarrassedly: "Okay, this is my artistically processed." Relying on the problems Wan Yu discovered, Xiaoxian's sense of distrust deepened: "Okay, Guan Gu, I suggest you create a new set of comics based on this image - the name is "Ninja Cockroach Mouse", and you must kill Mickey Mouse and Blue Mouse, don't forget this golden idea I gave you when it becomes popular all over the world." Saying that, Xiaoxian and Wanyu left the room. Zhanbo is rebuilding the pancake house, and Yifei is sitting on the sofa.The phone rings. Zhan Bo yelled: "Don't touch the phone!" Go get it by yourself. It was Ziqiao again: "Zhanbo, go online quickly! I'll show you something awesome." Hearing Zi Qiao's voice at this moment, Zhan Bo was even more disappointed than hearing the mobile marketing service: "Zi Qiao, I'm waiting for a call! Is there anything important?" Ziqiao said vividly: "I just took a video of a group of sows queuing up and transferred into the ditch." This time, I went straight to the point. 展博顿了两秒：“我为什么非要看这个不可？用这种恶心的东西刺激的我的眼睛，我的生活就能丰富多彩了？！” 子乔再次重申：“可是，展博，那可是一群母猪呀，母猪！一群母猪排队掉进了水沟啊！” 展博觉得耳朵要是能吐的话，早就吐了：“我重申一遍，子乔，我不管你的三叉神经受了什么刺激，我正在等一个很重要的电话，请你别这么无聊。”愤愤地挂上电话。 一菲从房间里出来，展博赶紧护住浆饼屋。 一菲看着觉得太可笑了：“该吃饭了。展博。晚上想吃什么？” 展博依然护着他的屋子：“姐，我吃过了。” 一菲很奇怪：“吃过了？” 展博很想通过实话来赞美她：“说实话，你今天的蛋炒饭棒极了。味道不咸不淡，刚刚好，米饭粒粒分开，还粘着蛋。最关键的是，我居然没有吃到你的头发。”也顺带保护自己的屋子。 一菲纳闷了：“可是我还没做呢。” 展博更纳闷：“没做？那锅里的是？” 宛瑜从楼上跑下，很欢快地说：“是我做的，是我做的，哇噻，展博你全吃光了啊？” 展博扬起笑容：“不仅吃光了。而且吃了你的蛋炒饭，我焦虑的心情平静了不少。” 一菲醋意顿生：“够了，展博，你是想说，宛瑜做的比我做的更好吃对不对？” 展博意识到触犯了老姐的自尊心：“不！我不是这个意思，我不是说'更好吃'，我只是说有点'不同'而已。” 一菲故意挑刺：“宛瑜。我什么时候教你蛋炒饭可以放肉丁的？” 宛瑜满不在乎地说：“是你教我做饭要放松，所以我一放松就在你的基础上加入了一些新的配方。我只是希望能做的更好。” 一菲听不下去了：“更好？你刚才说更好？” 展博赶快圆场：“宛瑜刚才说的是不同！不同！你听错了。” 宛瑜针锋相对地说：“一菲，是你教我的，青出于蓝，你应该高兴才对，不是吗？”自己先高兴地笑了。 一菲深呼吸，好像狂风暴雨的前奏。 展博对宛瑜小声嘀咕：“别说了，求你了。” 一菲保持镇定，但咄咄逼人：“那好，让我尝尝。” 展博无奈地说：“我已经吃光了。” 一菲更加凶狠地说：“那就再做一份。” 宛瑜调皮地说：“不做了，你会故意说我不好，然后打击我的。” 一菲终于忍不了了：“那我们就一起做，师徒切磋一下。让展博来做评判。” “这个……”宛瑜迟疑。 一菲这下可以肆意挑衅了：“你不敢了？” 宛瑜也沉不住气了：“……比就比。” 一菲如愿以偿：“那我们现在就开始。” 宛瑜却立刻出门。 一菲鄙视说：“你逃跑了？” “不，你不是要比赛吗？我去超市买配料。”宛瑜头也不回地出去了。 一菲得意洋洋地说：“哈！还需要配料？笑话，我的经典秘方是不需要配料的，只需要一颗心，一颗充满爱，充满激情的心。” 展博黑着脸提醒：“姐，家里没有鸡蛋了。” “不早说。”一菲一溜烟出门了。 “唉！女人啊。”电话铃又响，展博狼狈地接电话，还下意识地说，“别碰电话！”屋子里已经没人了。 居然又是子乔打电话过来。“展博。” 展博当即给他难堪：“怎么又是你。我说了……我没空。” “等等等等，别挂。这次不是逗你玩，我跟你说正经事，很快的。” 展博根本没心思：“有话快说。” 子乔有目的似的酝酿：“我猜你现在正在为等一个女孩的电话，抓耳挠腮，上窜下跳，对不对？” 展博不屑地说：“我很焦虑，但不至于变成猴子。” “作为你多年的好友和精神上的导师，我有个很不错的建议，可以解决你的燃眉之急。”子乔听上去胸有成竹，不知道葫芦里卖的什么药。 展博当然上当：“真的吗？” 子乔抛出哑弹：“你可以直接打给她。” 展博顿了两秒：“废话！可是我没有她的电话，只能等她打给我。” 子乔语气依旧沉着：“哦，就是说你们已经失去联系了。这下糟糕了，茫茫人海，她就像是个断了线的风筝，可能她今天不会打来了。” 展博倔强地说：“那我就等到明天。” “可能她明天也不会打来了。” “那我就等到后天。” 子乔又开始故弄玄虚：“老弟，别傻了，这没用。唉，我也许不应该告诉你这件事情，但是我还有个办法帮你解决问题。” “怎么解决？”展博精神为之一振。 子乔诡秘地说：“我有个非常非常铁的兄弟。在情报局工作。你知道情报局有一套非常完善的人口搜索系统。可以查到所有人的背景信息和联系方式。” "Really?" “当然，可惜这套系统的服务器受到了严格的保护，关卡重重，你是学计算机的，应该明白我的意思。” 涉及展博的专长，他深深知道难度：“这牵涉到信息安全。是严格控制的。” “没错。但我又不能眼看着我最好的朋友如此为情所困，所以，说不定我可以让他给你提供一个特别端口和登陆密码。这件事情非常机密，绝不能让第三个人知道。”子乔刻意压低了声音。 “子乔，那我需要做什么吗？比如在拥挤的菜场里安排一次秘密的接头？”展博已经兴奋得热血沸腾了。 子乔安抚说：“老弟，你电影看太多了。” “我可以蒙面，或者你蒙面！”展博依旧天真。 子乔浑身是汗。 美嘉、关谷正在做一个陷阱，他们拿一个锅子支撑起来，底下还放上一小块奶酪。 小贤走过来，完全没有防范，不小心踢倒一个陷阱。“哇噢，真是天网恢恢，机关重重。你们为什么不干脆埋几个地雷？”小贤发现，放眼客厅全都是陷阱。 美嘉半蹲着，用执着的眼神抬头望向小贤：“曾老师，我知道你不信，但是我和关谷相信。” 关谷为自己和美嘉受到的不公正待遇鸣不平：“如果你不相信哥斯拉和忍者神龟，那么请看看我们所在的宇宙，有太多未知的东西。百慕大三角、喜马拉雅山雪怪、金字塔，玉米田里的神奇符号。” 小贤不但顽梗不化，还冷嘲热讽：“还有外星人。对了，展博就是一个外星人，他说他被外星人抓走过。啊！慢着，这么说你们也被抓走了？” 关谷恨得咬牙切齿：“等我们抓到这个怪物，你就等着大开眼界吧。愚蠢的地球人。” 子乔再一次打电话骚扰。 展博这回却求之不得：“喂！” “你一个人在家是吗？” “是啊。”展博声音像做贼似的。 “不要多问，按我说的做。门关好了没有。” 展博抬头扫视一圈：“嗯。” “关闭家里的所有其它电器设备。把门反锁好，然后远离窗子。” 展博动作麻利地照做，之后回到茶几边，屋子里已经是黑洞洞的。 “打开电脑。” “好了。你要干什么？”展博提出唯一的问题。 子乔声调稳定，态度坚决：“登陆你的邮箱，我已经传送了国家安全局网络信息中心的密码给你。这是一个特殊密码，你看一遍背出来，也不能抄在纸上。10秒钟之后删除它。我们不能留下一点证据。切记。” 展博看到屏幕上出现了一行密码，默念：“1376GLORI1716，1376GLORI1716。” 子乔看看表：“十秒钟到了，删掉它。” 屏幕上，展博点击删除。 “好，你现在又收到了一封邮件，是一个特殊端口的链接。你输入密码之后，就可以登陆这个人口搜索系统了。” 展博点击了这个长串链接，屏幕上出现了一个小小的对话框，enter password。 子乔以退为进地鼓励：“准备好了吗？我要再次提醒你，这件事情是你自己要做的，和我没有关系。登陆这个系统是违背《主动防御战略守则》《日内瓦公约》以及《青少年网络健康管理条例》的。你确定要这么做吗？” 展博深思片刻：“我……我很想找到她。”甚至有点冲动得颤抖。 子乔很满意：“好。那就动手把。” 慢动作，展博在屏幕上敲上了密码。手指落在了enter的按键上。脸上突然白光亮起，展博下意识地闭上了眼睛，不忍看。 展博缓缓地睁开眼睛，表情戏剧性地变化，顿了3秒：“这是……母猪排队掉进水沟的视频。” 子乔笑得几乎疯狂：“哈啊啊啊。对啦！我早就说了，这个视频超赞的不是吗？这是我拍的。快帮我顶上youtube首页，快快。” 展博愤怒了。如果宇宙中真的有汽车人，那么他此刻一定会变形成大货车，压死子乔。“我要杀了你子乔。” 子乔惊喜地说：“慢着，快到高潮部分了。” 展博看了一眼屏幕，扬声器传来“扑通扑通”东西落水的声音。展博不禁笑出声来：“呵呵，是挺逗的。”很快又转回愤怒，“吕子乔，我要杀了你。我要错过Ada的电话了。”挂上电话。 客厅突然传来咣当的一声响。 关谷惊喜交加：“我的天哪！锅子掉下来了。” 美嘉报告：“我们抓到它了？！” 接着传来金属敲击的声音，美嘉不由自主地、害怕地站到了沙发上，躲在关谷身后，面容因恐惧而扭曲。 "What should we do now?" 关谷压住有响动的那个锅盖，说：“冷静，我有个计划。美嘉，记得酒吧里有个伙计叫做Jack吗？” 美嘉脑海中快速闪过Jack的不同画面：“你是说那个调酒的，总穿着黑色衣服的家伙？” 关谷肯定说：“没错。” 美嘉恍然大悟：“哦，我知道了，他是黑衣人。Man in black，你是想说他还有另一个身份？我早就怀疑他了，他一定是外星生物保护协会派在我们公寓的卧底。你是要让Jack带它离开地球？” 关谷看着美嘉，汗了半天。“说什么呢？Jack有个表哥在生物研究所工作，说不定他能告诉我们答案。不过一定要是活的。” 美嘉拉住关谷：“等等，你是说要在它的身上做科学实验？” 关谷点头：“没错。” 美嘉不忍心地说：“这太狠心了吧——你就不能拿个榔头过来，一榔头把他砸死吗？” 关谷看着美嘉，狂汗。
展博坐在桌前，一菲往展博面前放了两个盘子。 “ok，现在厨艺大赛正式开始。展博，漱口，把手机关机。” 展博一脸苦相看着一菲：“为什么要把手机关了。”这可是他全部的寄托了。 一菲振振有词：“欣赏大师作品的时候需要专心。我不希望被外界因素打扰。”眼神在威吓。 “大师？”展博看见一菲瞪自己，连忙赞成，“大师！” “等你尝过了就知道结果了。宛瑜，你做好心理准备，这次我也放了肉丁，你没有胜算了。哈哈。”一菲眼神变得严厉。 接下来，一菲和展博用眼神进行了一场无声的辩论： 一菲首先挤眼睛，意思是：“看清楚，左边的一份是我的，说这份好吃，听到了没有。” 展博眼神很无辜：“姐，我要公平，公正。” 一菲鄙视过去：“去你的公平公正，我是你姐，你要是敢不服从命令，当心我扁你。” 展博眼神很无奈：“可是……是你硬要比赛的，现在你又赖皮……” 一菲狠狠地盯着他：“少废话，想死吗！” 展博皱着眉头：“好吧，你凶，我照办。” 宛瑜可不是傻瓜，她早看出了姐弟俩的异常举动，她提出：“等等，展博，转过去，我要把我们的交错一下。这样你就不知道谁的是谁的了。我在我的这份锅底上写了我的名字。” 展博倒挺乐意，转过去。 一菲本想讽刺的：“哦，是吗？那请问，我怎么知道哪份是我做的呢？” 展博转过来，揭了一菲的短：“姐，当然是锅子地上'没有'宛瑜名字的那份啦。” 一菲想了一会儿，因尴尬而冲他：“哦，我当然知道，要你说！” 宛瑜自信地微笑：“我们开始吧。” 展博开始吃。 3分钟以后。小贤拿着手机走进来。 “急吼吼地叫我来干什么？” 展博连拖带拽地把小贤弄到餐桌前：“是这样的，我姐和宛瑜比赛做蛋炒饭。” 小贤简直要疯了：“是吗？隔壁刚才在比赛埋地雷。你们这里结果怎么样？” 展博郁闷地说：“这就是问题。现在出现僵局了。” “平分秋色？”小贤问。 展博回答：“不，我选了宛瑜做的。”宛瑜微笑挥手。 小贤纳闷了：“胜负已分，那怎么还叫僵局呢？” 展博痛苦地说：“我姐输了，于是她拿着所有的蛋炒饭把自己锁进了厕所。” 小贤理解了：“哦，原来这就是传说中的'僵局'啊！那就让她锁着咯。叫我来有什么用。” 展博央求道：“我们怎么劝她都不出来。你帮帮忙吧。她毕竟是我的姐姐，而且关键是，我要尿尿了。”说到重点，展博小孩子般撅起屁股，似乎尿很急。 小贤很无奈地走到厕所门口，敲门：“一菲，小菲菲，菲菲菲。出来吧。里面多闷啊。” 厕所里传来一菲的声音：“我要把所有的蛋炒饭都冲到马桶里，否则我就不出来。” 小贤了解一菲的性格，旁敲侧击地开解：“一菲，你怎么能在意展博的判断呢。他是外星人，而且他平时吃药的频率比吃饭的频率高，口味早就不正常了。你应该找一个热衷食物的正常人来评判吧。我可是公寓下属住户委员会的副主席啊。” 一菲果然开门：“你是说，你会一举选中我的，然后宣布我是赢家？”喜上眉梢。 小贤像安慰幼儿园的小女生：“当然啦，我在这里住了那么久，吃了你那么多顿蛋炒饭。我还评判不出谁是大师？”这个倒不假，为了还那么多次蛋炒饭的人情，小贤也理当拉一菲一把。 “好吧。就这么定了。”一菲端着两个锅子出来。 展博微笑挥手。 “展博，就算睡着也要记得睁着一只眼睛，”一菲恶狠狠地说，“睁着——一只——眼睛。” 展博把小贤拉到一边：“你确定能挑中我姐的吗？她要是再被打击一次，我们可怜的屋顶会被掀掉的。” 小贤小声嘀咕：“屋顶倒不是最可怜的。她要是把蛋炒饭全倒了，整幢大楼的马桶和下水道都会堵上的。”说着走到餐桌前，“好了，看看我是怎么品鉴的。” 小贤深吸一口气。 左边尝了一口。“恩~~”好像很满足。 小贤右边尝了一口。“恩~~”好像也不错。 小贤又在左边尝了一口。“恩~~~” 一菲粗鲁地打断：“你拉屎阿。恩完了没有。” 小贤以雷霆万钧之势，指向左边一盘：“这一份，左边这份，口感香滑爽口，我都不舍得把它嚼碎，含在嘴里，我仿佛感觉自己每一个毛孔里都透射出少女般的幽香。”说着，还陶醉般地咬着嘴唇。 宛瑜开口说：“曾老师，别肉麻了，我受不了了。你确定是这份胜出吗？” 小贤笃定地点头：“没错。” 一菲拿起锅子：“底下没有名字！这份是谁的？”顿了两秒，高声尖叫，“哦，这份是我的。我赢了。Yes！”开心地跑了。 小贤和展博都长舒了一口气。 展博大难不死似的抹了一把汗：“谢天谢地，你选了老姐的。否则真不知道后果怎样。对了，你真的觉得她那份好吃吗？” 小贤刚才还满脸堆笑，现在拉得老长：“不！我只是碰巧吃到的那口里有她的头发。”说着，从牙缝里拉出一根很长很长的秀发。 关谷双手捧着一个锅子，上面盖着厚厚的书，小心翼翼地走出电梯。 展博迎面走来：“hi, 关谷。你这是去食堂还是图书馆？” 关谷支支吾吾地说：“我……我……我们抓到它了？” 展博好奇：“抓到什么了。” 关谷严肃地说：“我们公寓里出现里一只非常奇怪的东西，又像蟑螂又像老鼠，算了，说了你也不会相信，我得赶紧走了。”他已经受够了非议和羞辱，对展博也不抱希望。 展博一字一句地说：“蟑！螂！鼠！两个种类生物的综合变异体？！” 关谷惊喜不已：“你也见过？！” 展博平静地说：“我没见过，不过我相信一切皆有可能。”展博心想：“如果一只蟑螂和一只老鼠都能在这个世界找到真爱，我为什么不可以，所以，我相信，我非常相信。” 关谷感动地说：“真的吗？” “真的。”展博拍拍他的肩膀。 关谷带着哭腔大喊：“天哪！终于有人相信我了。相信我了，信我了，我了，了……”干脆自己制造回声，然后悔恨地说，“我怎么就没想到找你呢？一菲、宛瑜、曾老师他们都不信。不过没关系，我已经抓到它了。到时候全世界的人都会相信我的。这个世界上真的有怪兽。”指指眼前的锅子。 展博又天真地发问：“关谷，不过话说回来，如果真的有怪兽，那么真的有奥特曼吗？” 关谷也纯真地回答：“这我就不清楚了。我没抓到过野生奥特曼。”两人正好一对极品。 “不说这个了。快，快给我看看。”关谷和展博在楼梯口坐下。 展博非常兴奋：“如果真像你说的那样，这将是人类历史上的一次里程碑式的发现。” 关谷神秘兮兮地说：“打起精神，兄弟，这将会让你大开眼界。” 展博和关谷的脸凑到一起，展博缓缓地移开盖在上面的书，掀开一条缝，看锅子下面。 经过很久的停顿，展博忽然说：“关谷，我想问你——你是怎么能够装的那么像的？” 关谷莫名其妙：“怎么了？” “是空的。” "what?" 展博打开给关谷看，
Time went back to the living room just now.Guan Gu accidentally saw that monster again, his expression was suddenly serious, and he gestured to Mika with his eyes.Mika saw it too, and the two stood up.The monster was moving towards them, cornering them. Mika said bitterly: "Okay. We have to act." Meijia touched a bottle of insecticide from the side, and Guan Gu picked up a thick phone book.Meijia sprayed insecticide on the monster fiercely, Guan Gu raised the phone yellow page high, and slammed it down. "Ahhhhhhh." Mika screamed, unable to bear to watch, Guan Gu covered Mika's eyes with one hand and his own with the other. Guan Gu comforted: "Okay, it's all over, it's over." Mika pinched Guan Gu's fingers, and Guan Gu also opened his fingers, sneaking a glance at the monster. The two exclaimed again: "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" The two men froze in place, with the thick phone yellow pages pressed against the monster on the ground, and they were still moving forward slowly. Guan Gu and Mika looked at each other, then hurriedly escaped from the room. Xiaoxian poured himself another glass of wine: "Are you sure you have seen clearly this time?" Mika nodded: "Of course, he has a hard shell, 6 legs, just like a cockroach..." Guan Gu interrupted: "However, he also has the characteristics of a mouse. Gray fur and a long tail." Xiaoxian was confused again: "Wait, wait, what is it? A cockroach or a mouse?" He felt that the two of them still didn't see clearly, which was very unreliable. Guan Gu gestured to Mika——we can draw a conclusion. Meijia announced loudly: "After we discussed and decided, this is a cockroach." Xiaoxian tilted his neck and asked, "What?" Guan Gu added conclusion: "It can also be called 'mouse Xiaoqiang'." Xiaoxian asked again: "You mean, he is a mouse but his name is Xiaoqiang?" I thought it was too funny. Mika asserted: "No! He is a composite mutant of two types of creatures." Xiaoxian drank a glass of wine and looked at the ceiling: "It's ridiculous. How can mammals and insects fit together?" Guan Gu disturbed his ears: "We can't find any other reasonable explanation." Mika explained in her way of thinking: "You know, there is the possibility that a drunk cockroach meets a mouse that just broke up in love, and then they..." Xiaoxian confronted each other and said: "Oh, it's possible. It's also possible that a drunk ant met a lovelorn elephant, and then the ant became pregnant with the elephant's child." . Meijia said unconvinced: "But cockroaches do exist!" Guan Gu made a prophecy to Xiaoxian: "Mr. Zeng, you have moved here now. I believe you will definitely come across it. Don't blame us for not reminding you, it is disgusting." Meijia grinned and exaggerated: "Very, very disgusting." Mika Guan Gu stood up and left angrily. Yifei came into the bar and met two people at the door: "Everyone is okay. I just saw that your room was not closed." Guan Gu said fiercely: "It's easy to say, we don't even have time to close the door!" Yifei's cell phone rang, and it was Ziqiao's voice. "Yifei, let me tell you a big news!" Yifei said angrily, "Ziqiao, aren't you going on a date with Lin Chiling? How is it going?" Ziqiao bit the bullet and made it up: "Uh...it's okay. It's just that we didn't talk very speculatively. So..." "How can you be less speculative?" Yifei imitated Lin Chiling's tone, "Dear little tiger. Didn't you tear me apart?" Zi Qiao said angrily: "It turned out to be you. Hu Yifei, you fuck me. Are you too boring?" Being thousands of miles away, it was indeed helpless. Yifei said sarcastically: "You can come back and challenge me one-on-one, oh, I forgot, you won't be back for a while." Ziqiao suddenly changed his tone: "Yifei, I want to thank you." It seemed to be from the heart. Yifei was not interested this time: "Huh? Thank me? Did you fall into the ditch and knock your head off?" Zi Qiao explained: "I didn't fall into the ditch, I just saw a group of sows lined up and fell into the ditch on the road!" Yifei was stunned: "Huh?" "I captured this wonderful moment, took it with my mobile phone, and uploaded the video to youtube. I believe that within an hour, my video will be on the top of the popularity list. So I want to thank you , if it weren't for you, I really wouldn't be able to shoot such a classic video!" Yifei's expression was very speechless: "Zi Qiao, you admire you, you are actually more boring than me." Zi Qiao was still pestering: "Do you want to go up and look? I'll send you the link." "Forget it, you must be trying to get revenge on me, so I won't be fooled. Play me, in the next life." Yifei took it for granted, and quickly hung up the phone. Soft music was playing on the radio.Wan Yu was beating eggs and cutting square leg meat.Zhanbo is building a "pulp cake house" - a small house model that can be eaten. Yifei strode in. Wan Yu greeted her with a smile: "Feifei, I am practicing hard, and I will definitely not embarrass you, Master." Yifei said to Zhanbo: "What are you doing? Playing house? Hasn't Ada called you yet?" "No." Zhan Bo was still fiddling with his house. Yifei sneered and said, "You're quite calm." Wan Yu told the truth: "Don't be deceived by him, this is a superficial phenomenon." Suddenly the phone rang, and Zhan Bo scrambled to get the phone. Wan Yu smiled at Yifei: "See?" Zhanbo excitedly picked up the phone: "Hi! It's me——I said, I don't want a set meal." He put it down depressed again. I saw Wan Yu holding a spoon, carefully measuring how much salt to put in. Yifei asked strangely: "Wanyu, what are you doing?" Wan Yu said solemnly: "Didn't you teach me? Put half a teaspoon of salt?" "It's not like this." Yifei said, pouring some salt into her hand, and sprinkled it into the bowl, "Did you see it? It should be like this." Wan Yu was stunned: "Huh?" Yifei smiled and taught: "Okay, in the second class, you have to learn to relax. Do you know? Cooking requires heart, passion, and desire, so that you can cook well." Wan Yu was even more surprised: "Huh?" "Let's put aside all distracting thoughts. Therefore, this music should also be changed. Without enthusiasm, there will be no good works." Yifei pressed the speaker, and the gentle music turned into rock.Following the music, she writhed frantically, wriggled to the side of the pancake house, punched it down casually, and picked up a slice to eat. "Ahhh! My roof." Zhanbo screamed, and came to protect himself with his body, "I finally calmed down, and you ruined my only spiritual sustenance." While eating, Yifei said, "Your sustenance—it's delicious." Guan Gu is drawing on the drawing board.Meijia was explaining at the side, and the audience was sitting beside her——Xiaoxian and Wanyu. "I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing for our love apartment. However, we did discover a new species—the cockroach." "Last time I saw it, the size is about the same as a potato. But his weight gain is amazing." Guan Gu turned the drawing board around, and there was a thing that looked like a mouse and a cockroach on it. Xiaoxian teased: "So——now it's called Cockroach Potato Mouse?" Meijia knocked on the table: "Please be serious, I'm not joking, this is a cockroach." Guan Gu also came to explain: "I even gave him a Japanese name—Godgilla." Xiaoxian imitated: "The dog is in a hurry?" Guan Gu asked, "Does Godzilla know?" Wan Yu raised her hand: "You mean Godzilla? I know, I've seen the movie." Guan Gu is very satisfied with Wan Yu's answer: "Godzilla was just an ordinary lizard in the past. After being affected by nuclear radiation for a long time, he mutated into a monster with a body length of 80 meters. According to my guess, the formation of cockroaches and rats we saw The reason is similar to Godzilla. So I named him Godgilla." Wan Yu frowned and asked, "You mean there are monsters in your room?" Xiaoxian is still teasing: "I understand Guangu quite well. He is from Japan and has a special feeling for monsters." Meijia said sternly: "No! Don't take it lightly just because this monster is not big now." Guan Gu didn't seem to be joking either: "That's right. Our environment is being polluted in various ways every day: sewage, waste, radiation, noise, many creatures that should exist are dying, and there are also many that should not exist. Creatures are coming into being too. Godgilla is the perfect example!" Wan Yu and Xiao Xian looked at each other in blank dismay. Guan Gu's cell phone rang, and he left to answer the call in the living room.It's Zi Qiao calling. "Guan Gu, it's me, Zi Qiao." Guan Gu said first, "Zi Qiao, I have something very important to tell you." "I also have something very important to tell you." The two said at the same time, "I'll talk first." Ziqiao issued the password: "Guess the fist. Rock paper scissors." In two places, Guan Gu was out, but Zi Qiao was not.But Guan Gu didn't realize that there was a fraud in it. Zi Qiao asked on the phone: "What are you doing?" Guan Gu replied honestly: "Scissors. What about you?" Zi Qiao immediately said: "I'll give you a stone, you lose. Let me say first. I just took a very, very precious video. I have uploaded it to YouTube with my mobile phone. Would you like to go up and have a look. A group of sows The line fell into the ditch. Hahahaha." Guan Gu didn't bother to compete with him at all: "What's so great about it. It's too pediatric. Let me tell you, a godgilla was found in our room." "Godgilla?" Guan Gu continued the explanation just now on the phone: "A mutant that is both a cockroach and a mouse. If I capture it, it will be the top ten most popular YouTube videos of the year. You step aside." Zi Qiao didn't believe it at all: "Guan Gu, we don't bring nonsense, I'm serious. Come on YouTube and help me become popular." Guan Gu was very upset: "You are allowed to find the sow falling into the ditch, but I am not allowed to find cockroaches and rats? Shit!" Zi Qiao was teased every phone call, no one believed him, and now even the most honest Guan Gu used monsters to tease him, which made him sad. "It's fine if you don't watch it. I was so full that I took the subway, the ferry, and the long-distance bus. I traveled thousands of miles to shoot a video just to share it with my friends. Is it easy for me? How dare you make up cockroaches and rats? Me. You don't know how to cherish it." Guan Gu regretted his attitude just now: "Did you really——run so far to shoot a video?" "It's absolutely true." Guan Gu opened his mouth: "You are so..." before closing it. "I'm great, aren't I?" Zi Qiao regained her spirits immediately. Guan Gu spoke a complete sentence quickly: "You are so fucking boring." Zi Qiao's heart fell into the ice hole. Wan Yu then asked, "Will it reproduce?" Meijia pondered for a while and said: "If he is a hermaphrodite, he may reproduce by himself. This is what I am most worried about." "Oh~ learn to be old, live to be old." Xiaoxian imitated Guan Gu. Guan Gu came back and continued: "Obviously, the whole thing is still a mystery. There are still many mysteries in this world that we don't know about." Wan Yu also began to tease: "That's right, the biggest mystery is—how much did the two of you drink?" Meijia was sad: "Wanyu, even you don't believe us?" "You may just see a very common insect or other animal, and then exaggerate it in your mind, like this." Wan Yu pointed to the godgilla drawn on the picture, "Does it really have such long teeth?" Guan Gu pouted his head and said embarrassedly: "Okay, this is my artistically processed." Relying on the problems Wan Yu discovered, Xiaoxian's sense of distrust deepened: "Okay, Guan Gu, I suggest you create a new set of comics based on this image - the name is "Ninja Cockroach Mouse", and you must kill Mickey Mouse and Blue Mouse, don't forget this golden idea I gave you when it becomes popular all over the world." Saying that, Xiaoxian and Wanyu left the room. Zhanbo is rebuilding the pancake house, and Yifei is sitting on the sofa.The phone rings. Zhan Bo yelled: "Don't touch the phone!" Go get it by yourself. It was Ziqiao again: "Zhanbo, go online quickly! I'll show you something awesome." Hearing Zi Qiao's voice at this moment, Zhan Bo was even more disappointed than hearing the mobile marketing service: "Zi Qiao, I'm waiting for a call! Is there anything important?" Ziqiao said vividly: "I just took a video of a group of sows queuing up and transferred into the ditch." This time, I went straight to the point. 展博顿了两秒：“我为什么非要看这个不可？用这种恶心的东西刺激的我的眼睛，我的生活就能丰富多彩了？！” 子乔再次重申：“可是，展博，那可是一群母猪呀，母猪！一群母猪排队掉进了水沟啊！” 展博觉得耳朵要是能吐的话，早就吐了：“我重申一遍，子乔，我不管你的三叉神经受了什么刺激，我正在等一个很重要的电话，请你别这么无聊。”愤愤地挂上电话。 一菲从房间里出来，展博赶紧护住浆饼屋。 一菲看着觉得太可笑了：“该吃饭了。展博。晚上想吃什么？” 展博依然护着他的屋子：“姐，我吃过了。” 一菲很奇怪：“吃过了？” 展博很想通过实话来赞美她：“说实话，你今天的蛋炒饭棒极了。味道不咸不淡，刚刚好，米饭粒粒分开，还粘着蛋。最关键的是，我居然没有吃到你的头发。”也顺带保护自己的屋子。 一菲纳闷了：“可是我还没做呢。” 展博更纳闷：“没做？那锅里的是？” 宛瑜从楼上跑下，很欢快地说：“是我做的，是我做的，哇噻，展博你全吃光了啊？” 展博扬起笑容：“不仅吃光了。而且吃了你的蛋炒饭，我焦虑的心情平静了不少。” 一菲醋意顿生：“够了，展博，你是想说，宛瑜做的比我做的更好吃对不对？” 展博意识到触犯了老姐的自尊心：“不！我不是这个意思，我不是说'更好吃'，我只是说有点'不同'而已。” 一菲故意挑刺：“宛瑜。我什么时候教你蛋炒饭可以放肉丁的？” 宛瑜满不在乎地说：“是你教我做饭要放松，所以我一放松就在你的基础上加入了一些新的配方。我只是希望能做的更好。” 一菲听不下去了：“更好？你刚才说更好？” 展博赶快圆场：“宛瑜刚才说的是不同！不同！你听错了。” 宛瑜针锋相对地说：“一菲，是你教我的，青出于蓝，你应该高兴才对，不是吗？”自己先高兴地笑了。 一菲深呼吸，好像狂风暴雨的前奏。 展博对宛瑜小声嘀咕：“别说了，求你了。” 一菲保持镇定，但咄咄逼人：“那好，让我尝尝。” 展博无奈地说：“我已经吃光了。” 一菲更加凶狠地说：“那就再做一份。” 宛瑜调皮地说：“不做了，你会故意说我不好，然后打击我的。” 一菲终于忍不了了：“那我们就一起做，师徒切磋一下。让展博来做评判。” “这个……”宛瑜迟疑。 一菲这下可以肆意挑衅了：“你不敢了？” 宛瑜也沉不住气了：“……比就比。” 一菲如愿以偿：“那我们现在就开始。” 宛瑜却立刻出门。 一菲鄙视说：“你逃跑了？” “不，你不是要比赛吗？我去超市买配料。”宛瑜头也不回地出去了。 一菲得意洋洋地说：“哈！还需要配料？笑话，我的经典秘方是不需要配料的，只需要一颗心，一颗充满爱，充满激情的心。” 展博黑着脸提醒：“姐，家里没有鸡蛋了。” “不早说。”一菲一溜烟出门了。 “唉！女人啊。”电话铃又响，展博狼狈地接电话，还下意识地说，“别碰电话！”屋子里已经没人了。 居然又是子乔打电话过来。“展博。” 展博当即给他难堪：“怎么又是你。我说了……我没空。” “等等等等，别挂。这次不是逗你玩，我跟你说正经事，很快的。” 展博根本没心思：“有话快说。” 子乔有目的似的酝酿：“我猜你现在正在为等一个女孩的电话，抓耳挠腮，上窜下跳，对不对？” 展博不屑地说：“我很焦虑，但不至于变成猴子。” “作为你多年的好友和精神上的导师，我有个很不错的建议，可以解决你的燃眉之急。”子乔听上去胸有成竹，不知道葫芦里卖的什么药。 展博当然上当：“真的吗？” 子乔抛出哑弹：“你可以直接打给她。” 展博顿了两秒：“废话！可是我没有她的电话，只能等她打给我。” 子乔语气依旧沉着：“哦，就是说你们已经失去联系了。这下糟糕了，茫茫人海，她就像是个断了线的风筝，可能她今天不会打来了。” 展博倔强地说：“那我就等到明天。” “可能她明天也不会打来了。” “那我就等到后天。” 子乔又开始故弄玄虚：“老弟，别傻了，这没用。唉，我也许不应该告诉你这件事情，但是我还有个办法帮你解决问题。” “怎么解决？”展博精神为之一振。 子乔诡秘地说：“我有个非常非常铁的兄弟。在情报局工作。你知道情报局有一套非常完善的人口搜索系统。可以查到所有人的背景信息和联系方式。” "Really?" “当然，可惜这套系统的服务器受到了严格的保护，关卡重重，你是学计算机的，应该明白我的意思。” 涉及展博的专长，他深深知道难度：“这牵涉到信息安全。是严格控制的。” “没错。但我又不能眼看着我最好的朋友如此为情所困，所以，说不定我可以让他给你提供一个特别端口和登陆密码。这件事情非常机密，绝不能让第三个人知道。”子乔刻意压低了声音。 “子乔，那我需要做什么吗？比如在拥挤的菜场里安排一次秘密的接头？”展博已经兴奋得热血沸腾了。 子乔安抚说：“老弟，你电影看太多了。” “我可以蒙面，或者你蒙面！”展博依旧天真。 子乔浑身是汗。 美嘉、关谷正在做一个陷阱，他们拿一个锅子支撑起来，底下还放上一小块奶酪。 小贤走过来，完全没有防范，不小心踢倒一个陷阱。“哇噢，真是天网恢恢，机关重重。你们为什么不干脆埋几个地雷？”小贤发现，放眼客厅全都是陷阱。 美嘉半蹲着，用执着的眼神抬头望向小贤：“曾老师，我知道你不信，但是我和关谷相信。” 关谷为自己和美嘉受到的不公正待遇鸣不平：“如果你不相信哥斯拉和忍者神龟，那么请看看我们所在的宇宙，有太多未知的东西。百慕大三角、喜马拉雅山雪怪、金字塔，玉米田里的神奇符号。” 小贤不但顽梗不化，还冷嘲热讽：“还有外星人。对了，展博就是一个外星人，他说他被外星人抓走过。啊！慢着，这么说你们也被抓走了？” 关谷恨得咬牙切齿：“等我们抓到这个怪物，你就等着大开眼界吧。愚蠢的地球人。” 子乔再一次打电话骚扰。 展博这回却求之不得：“喂！” “你一个人在家是吗？” “是啊。”展博声音像做贼似的。 “不要多问，按我说的做。门关好了没有。” 展博抬头扫视一圈：“嗯。” “关闭家里的所有其它电器设备。把门反锁好，然后远离窗子。” 展博动作麻利地照做，之后回到茶几边，屋子里已经是黑洞洞的。 “打开电脑。” “好了。你要干什么？”展博提出唯一的问题。 子乔声调稳定，态度坚决：“登陆你的邮箱，我已经传送了国家安全局网络信息中心的密码给你。这是一个特殊密码，你看一遍背出来，也不能抄在纸上。10秒钟之后删除它。我们不能留下一点证据。切记。” 展博看到屏幕上出现了一行密码，默念：“1376GLORI1716，1376GLORI1716。” 子乔看看表：“十秒钟到了，删掉它。” 屏幕上，展博点击删除。 “好，你现在又收到了一封邮件，是一个特殊端口的链接。你输入密码之后，就可以登陆这个人口搜索系统了。” 展博点击了这个长串链接，屏幕上出现了一个小小的对话框，enter password。 子乔以退为进地鼓励：“准备好了吗？我要再次提醒你，这件事情是你自己要做的，和我没有关系。登陆这个系统是违背《主动防御战略守则》《日内瓦公约》以及《青少年网络健康管理条例》的。你确定要这么做吗？” 展博深思片刻：“我……我很想找到她。”甚至有点冲动得颤抖。 子乔很满意：“好。那就动手把。” 慢动作，展博在屏幕上敲上了密码。手指落在了enter的按键上。脸上突然白光亮起，展博下意识地闭上了眼睛，不忍看。 展博缓缓地睁开眼睛，表情戏剧性地变化，顿了3秒：“这是……母猪排队掉进水沟的视频。” 子乔笑得几乎疯狂：“哈啊啊啊。对啦！我早就说了，这个视频超赞的不是吗？这是我拍的。快帮我顶上youtube首页，快快。” 展博愤怒了。如果宇宙中真的有汽车人，那么他此刻一定会变形成大货车，压死子乔。“我要杀了你子乔。” 子乔惊喜地说：“慢着，快到高潮部分了。” 展博看了一眼屏幕，扬声器传来“扑通扑通”东西落水的声音。展博不禁笑出声来：“呵呵，是挺逗的。”很快又转回愤怒，“吕子乔，我要杀了你。我要错过Ada的电话了。”挂上电话。 客厅突然传来咣当的一声响。 关谷惊喜交加：“我的天哪！锅子掉下来了。” 美嘉报告：“我们抓到它了？！” 接着传来金属敲击的声音，美嘉不由自主地、害怕地站到了沙发上，躲在关谷身后，面容因恐惧而扭曲。 "What should we do now?" 关谷压住有响动的那个锅盖，说：“冷静，我有个计划。美嘉，记得酒吧里有个伙计叫做Jack吗？” 美嘉脑海中快速闪过Jack的不同画面：“你是说那个调酒的，总穿着黑色衣服的家伙？” 关谷肯定说：“没错。” 美嘉恍然大悟：“哦，我知道了，他是黑衣人。Man in black，你是想说他还有另一个身份？我早就怀疑他了，他一定是外星生物保护协会派在我们公寓的卧底。你是要让Jack带它离开地球？” 关谷看着美嘉，汗了半天。“说什么呢？Jack有个表哥在生物研究所工作，说不定他能告诉我们答案。不过一定要是活的。” 美嘉拉住关谷：“等等，你是说要在它的身上做科学实验？” 关谷点头：“没错。” 美嘉不忍心地说：“这太狠心了吧——你就不能拿个榔头过来，一榔头把他砸死吗？” 关谷看着美嘉，狂汗。
展博坐在桌前，一菲往展博面前放了两个盘子。 “ok，现在厨艺大赛正式开始。展博，漱口，把手机关机。” 展博一脸苦相看着一菲：“为什么要把手机关了。”这可是他全部的寄托了。 一菲振振有词：“欣赏大师作品的时候需要专心。我不希望被外界因素打扰。”眼神在威吓。 “大师？”展博看见一菲瞪自己，连忙赞成，“大师！” “等你尝过了就知道结果了。宛瑜，你做好心理准备，这次我也放了肉丁，你没有胜算了。哈哈。”一菲眼神变得严厉。 接下来，一菲和展博用眼神进行了一场无声的辩论： 一菲首先挤眼睛，意思是：“看清楚，左边的一份是我的，说这份好吃，听到了没有。” 展博眼神很无辜：“姐，我要公平，公正。” 一菲鄙视过去：“去你的公平公正，我是你姐，你要是敢不服从命令，当心我扁你。” 展博眼神很无奈：“可是……是你硬要比赛的，现在你又赖皮……” 一菲狠狠地盯着他：“少废话，想死吗！” 展博皱着眉头：“好吧，你凶，我照办。” 宛瑜可不是傻瓜，她早看出了姐弟俩的异常举动，她提出：“等等，展博，转过去，我要把我们的交错一下。这样你就不知道谁的是谁的了。我在我的这份锅底上写了我的名字。” 展博倒挺乐意，转过去。 一菲本想讽刺的：“哦，是吗？那请问，我怎么知道哪份是我做的呢？” 展博转过来，揭了一菲的短：“姐，当然是锅子地上'没有'宛瑜名字的那份啦。” 一菲想了一会儿，因尴尬而冲他：“哦，我当然知道，要你说！” 宛瑜自信地微笑：“我们开始吧。” 展博开始吃。 3分钟以后。小贤拿着手机走进来。 “急吼吼地叫我来干什么？” 展博连拖带拽地把小贤弄到餐桌前：“是这样的，我姐和宛瑜比赛做蛋炒饭。” 小贤简直要疯了：“是吗？隔壁刚才在比赛埋地雷。你们这里结果怎么样？” 展博郁闷地说：“这就是问题。现在出现僵局了。” “平分秋色？”小贤问。 展博回答：“不，我选了宛瑜做的。”宛瑜微笑挥手。 小贤纳闷了：“胜负已分，那怎么还叫僵局呢？” 展博痛苦地说：“我姐输了，于是她拿着所有的蛋炒饭把自己锁进了厕所。” 小贤理解了：“哦，原来这就是传说中的'僵局'啊！那就让她锁着咯。叫我来有什么用。” 展博央求道：“我们怎么劝她都不出来。你帮帮忙吧。她毕竟是我的姐姐，而且关键是，我要尿尿了。”说到重点，展博小孩子般撅起屁股，似乎尿很急。 小贤很无奈地走到厕所门口，敲门：“一菲，小菲菲，菲菲菲。出来吧。里面多闷啊。” 厕所里传来一菲的声音：“我要把所有的蛋炒饭都冲到马桶里，否则我就不出来。” 小贤了解一菲的性格，旁敲侧击地开解：“一菲，你怎么能在意展博的判断呢。他是外星人，而且他平时吃药的频率比吃饭的频率高，口味早就不正常了。你应该找一个热衷食物的正常人来评判吧。我可是公寓下属住户委员会的副主席啊。” 一菲果然开门：“你是说，你会一举选中我的，然后宣布我是赢家？”喜上眉梢。 小贤像安慰幼儿园的小女生：“当然啦，我在这里住了那么久，吃了你那么多顿蛋炒饭。我还评判不出谁是大师？”这个倒不假，为了还那么多次蛋炒饭的人情，小贤也理当拉一菲一把。 “好吧。就这么定了。”一菲端着两个锅子出来。 展博微笑挥手。 “展博，就算睡着也要记得睁着一只眼睛，”一菲恶狠狠地说，“睁着——一只——眼睛。” 展博把小贤拉到一边：“你确定能挑中我姐的吗？她要是再被打击一次，我们可怜的屋顶会被掀掉的。” 小贤小声嘀咕：“屋顶倒不是最可怜的。她要是把蛋炒饭全倒了，整幢大楼的马桶和下水道都会堵上的。”说着走到餐桌前，“好了，看看我是怎么品鉴的。” 小贤深吸一口气。 左边尝了一口。“恩~~”好像很满足。 小贤右边尝了一口。“恩~~”好像也不错。 小贤又在左边尝了一口。“恩~~~” 一菲粗鲁地打断：“你拉屎阿。恩完了没有。” 小贤以雷霆万钧之势，指向左边一盘：“这一份，左边这份，口感香滑爽口，我都不舍得把它嚼碎，含在嘴里，我仿佛感觉自己每一个毛孔里都透射出少女般的幽香。”说着，还陶醉般地咬着嘴唇。 宛瑜开口说：“曾老师，别肉麻了，我受不了了。你确定是这份胜出吗？” 小贤笃定地点头：“没错。” 一菲拿起锅子：“底下没有名字！这份是谁的？”顿了两秒，高声尖叫，“哦，这份是我的。我赢了。Yes！”开心地跑了。 小贤和展博都长舒了一口气。 展博大难不死似的抹了一把汗：“谢天谢地，你选了老姐的。否则真不知道后果怎样。对了，你真的觉得她那份好吃吗？” 小贤刚才还满脸堆笑，现在拉得老长：“不！我只是碰巧吃到的那口里有她的头发。”说着，从牙缝里拉出一根很长很长的秀发。 关谷双手捧着一个锅子，上面盖着厚厚的书，小心翼翼地走出电梯。 展博迎面走来：“hi, 关谷。你这是去食堂还是图书馆？” 关谷支支吾吾地说：“我……我……我们抓到它了？” 展博好奇：“抓到什么了。” 关谷严肃地说：“我们公寓里出现里一只非常奇怪的东西，又像蟑螂又像老鼠，算了，说了你也不会相信，我得赶紧走了。”他已经受够了非议和羞辱，对展博也不抱希望。 展博一字一句地说：“蟑！螂！鼠！两个种类生物的综合变异体？！” 关谷惊喜不已：“你也见过？！” 展博平静地说：“我没见过，不过我相信一切皆有可能。”展博心想：“如果一只蟑螂和一只老鼠都能在这个世界找到真爱，我为什么不可以，所以，我相信，我非常相信。” 关谷感动地说：“真的吗？” “真的。”展博拍拍他的肩膀。 关谷带着哭腔大喊：“天哪！终于有人相信我了。相信我了，信我了，我了，了……”干脆自己制造回声，然后悔恨地说，“我怎么就没想到找你呢？一菲、宛瑜、曾老师他们都不信。不过没关系，我已经抓到它了。到时候全世界的人都会相信我的。这个世界上真的有怪兽。”指指眼前的锅子。 展博又天真地发问：“关谷，不过话说回来，如果真的有怪兽，那么真的有奥特曼吗？” 关谷也纯真地回答：“这我就不清楚了。我没抓到过野生奥特曼。”两人正好一对极品。 “不说这个了。快，快给我看看。”关谷和展博在楼梯口坐下。 展博非常兴奋：“如果真像你说的那样，这将是人类历史上的一次里程碑式的发现。” 关谷神秘兮兮地说：“打起精神，兄弟，这将会让你大开眼界。” 展博和关谷的脸凑到一起，展博缓缓地移开盖在上面的书，掀开一条缝，看锅子下面。 经过很久的停顿，展博忽然说：“关谷，我想问你——你是怎么能够装的那么像的？” 关谷莫名其妙：“怎么了？” “是空的。” "what?" 展博打开给关谷看，