The story takes place in an ordinary rental apartment. A group of urban youths in the apartment embark on the road to love with their ideals in mind. An international flight crossed the blue sky and landed slowly on the runway. Zhanbo dragged a suitcase in each hand, a large bag slung over his shoulder, and a small bag in his mouth, and ran panting to an airport bus parked by the side of the road. Dazzling sunlight shot at Zhan Bo's upturned half of his face, fine sweat covered his forehead. "Phew, there is finally an empty car!" Zhan Bo let out a long sigh of relief, expressing his satisfaction with the first vehicle back to the ground.

At the door of the car, two passengers were swiping their cards to get on the car.The one behind is a tall beauty with two bags in her hands. She didn't have any free hands to swipe the card. She simply pouted her buttocks and leaned the transportation card against the card reader through the butt pocket. If there was no response once, she tried again. After poking out a bit, the card reader clicked, and the beauty walked into the car with a relaxed expression. Zhanbo had just returned from the United States, and was confused by the situation before him.In fact, Zhanbo was regarded as a genius boy since he was a child. He memorized pi at the age of 3, and learned calculus at the age of 8. He only went to junior high school and high school for a total of 3 years before he was recommended to Tsinghua University. Later, he was sent to Ma with a full scholarship. Advanced study at Provincial Polytechnic University.The fly in the ointment is that Zhanbo has been weak since he was a child, with an introverted and dull personality. He grew up under the protection of his half-sister, Yifei.This time he returned home after studying, because his parents were worried that Zhanbo would not be taken care of, so they ordered him to move in with his sister Yifei.Firstly, having an older sister covering younger brother can be at ease, and secondly, I also hope that Zhanbo can find a suitable girl in China to solve the major issues in life.

Before the major events in life were settled, Zhanbo was stumped by a small situation in front of him.Zhanbo looked left and right at the monitor, but he still didn't understand it. He was very puzzled, so he just imitated the example, pouted his buttocks, leaned on the card reader, and walked straight into the car. "Hey! You! Come back, come back!" The driver called Zhan Bo back to the door. Zhan Bo looked at the driver, nodded in embarrassment, and pouted his butt again, but the card reader still didn't respond.Facing the driver who was staring at him, Zhan Bo felt very embarrassed, turned around in a hurry, and used his lower body in front to lean on the card reader, but there was still no response.

When the driver saw Zhan Bo's behavior, his expression changed from indifference to slight anger. Zhanbo was very helpless, he straightened his chest, and leaned against the card reader with his lower body indiscriminately. The driver finally couldn't take it anymore, and cursed in dialect: "Pervert, you! You can either swipe your card, or insert a coin, or get out, twist the ball!" As he spoke, he pointed to the notice next to the card reader - please swipe your card or insert coins when getting on the bus .Zhanbo woke up like a dream, forced a little smile from his embarrassing face, and hurriedly looked for some change in his bag.

There were not many people in the car, Zhan Bo sat on the window seat, his luggage piled up on the aisle like a hill.The car moved forward steadily, Zhanbo collected himself and turned on his laptop.At this moment, the brakes were suddenly slammed, and Zhan Bo's head hit the back of the front seat heavily. But Zhanbo's head was not awakened, he looked out of the window foolishly: "Are there so soon?" The driver opened the car door, and a beautiful girl dressed in fashion rushed into the car in a panic, and quickly tossed a coin.The girl looked around the car, and her eyes stopped on the suitcases piled up beside Zhan Bo.Without thinking, the girl rushed to Zhan Bo, threw the handbag on the seat inside, and then made a movement that no one in the car expected - she pressed Zhan Bo's shoulders with both hands, stretched her legs He stepped over Zhanbo's knees, jumped into the pile of boxes next to the car window, hugged Zhanbo's thigh and bent down.

The girl's movements were done in one go, Zhan Bo didn't even have time to react physically, his eyes widened and his heart beat faster. The girl put her index finger on her lips, and whispered to Zhan Bo: "Shh! Don't make a sound." The car started slowly again, and suddenly braked suddenly, and Zhan Bo's head hit the back of the front seat again. Zhanbo muttered in embarrassment: "I provoked someone..." Zhan Bo rubbed his head, suddenly his face looked extremely painful.Just when he held his breath and raised his head, two men in black and sunglasses caught up with the car, guarding the door while looking into the car.Zhanbo's eyes wandered, and he hid from the face of the man in black to the window.

The two men in black were about to enter the carriage, but the driver was still not happy. The driver pointed at the man in black, and cursed in dialect again: "Hey! Come back! You can either swipe your card, or insert coins, or get out, and watch a game." The two men in black obviously didn't find their target, and they were afraid of causing trouble, so they hurriedly got out of the car in desperation. The driver hadn't scolded enough, pointed to the outside of the car door, and scolded, "I can't afford to sit on the bus, and you're still pretending to be The Matrix? Humph!"

The car started to move again, and the girl secretly raised her head and looked out the window, only to breathe a sigh of relief when she found that the car was gone.I saw that Zhan Bo was still staring at himself with wide eyes.The girl supported Zhan Bo's thigh with her arms, slowly stood up and stretched her body, then patted Zhan Bo carelessly, and said, "Whew! It's fine, thank you!" "No...you're welcome." Zhan Bo's face cramped, and he paused twice after speaking three words. The girl noticed Zhan Bo's painful expression, and asked in a low voice, "Hey! Are you all right, can I let you hide here for a while?"

Zhan Bo's face was flushed from holding back, tears were about to flow out: "You, you stepped on my foot." "Ah! I'm sorry." The girl quickly put her foot away. Zhanbo finally relaxed, his feet numb from being stepped on. The girl smiled apologetically and said in a sweet voice, "Thank you." Zhan Bo quickly nodded in response: "It's okay, it's okay, why did those two people chase you just now? Who are they?" The girl hesitated to speak, but she had a flash of inspiration and said, "They are—bad people. Very bad, very bad people." Before Zhanbo could figure it out, the girl stretched out her hand to him: "Call me Wanyu."

Zhan Bo shyly shook his outstretched hand: "Hehe, my name is Zhan Bo." Wan Yu raised a sweet smile: "Oh, we know each other now! Are you here on a business trip?" Zhan Bo hesitated and replied in shock: "I, I just came back from studying abroad." "Oh? What are you studying?" Wan Yu continued to ask with great interest. "Computer, I have been studying there since I was a child, and I haven't been back for a long time." Speaking of this, Zhanbo's eyes are full of affection, "What about you?" "I'm here—to hunt for treasure." Every strange answer given by this eccentric girl has a feeling that people want to believe.

"Treasure hunt?" Zhanbo repeated in doubt. Wan Yu then said to herself: "I'm looking for a place called Love Apartment." After speaking, her face was filled with a happy smile. "Ipartment?" Zhan Bo was so shocked that he almost became a repeater. "That's right, you know that too." Wan Yu pressed on step by step. Zhan Bo shook his head: "Never heard of it." ... Wan Yu was choked and speechless. Zhan Bo had an idea: "Hehe, you are not talking about this website, are you?" Zhan Bo turned on his laptop and searched online, and the web page of "Love Apartment" popped up on the screen. Wan Yu shook her head like a wave drum: "This love apartment is virtual, I want to find a real love apartment!" "How could it be true?" Zhan Bo didn't believe it. "I don't care. I will definitely find it." Wan Yu showed the waywardness of a young lady. Zhanbo smiled noncommittally: "Why are you so sure?" "The Tarot cards told me!" Wan Yu smirked naively. "Then where's your treasure map?" Zhan Bo began to enter the drama. Wan Yu asked suspiciously, "What picture?" Zhanbo insisted on his own opinion: "You said it was a treasure hunt, there should be a treasure map!" "I only brought this..." Wan Yu said and took out a map. Zhan Bo casually took the map: "I mean the treasure map, what are you doing with the map? This is... a map of the world!?" Zhan Bo opened his eyes wide. Wan Yu pouted: "If I want a treasure map, do I still need to look for it? Wouldn't it be better to take a taxi?" ...Zhanbo opened his mouth wide and became dumb. "By the way, you can ask my sister, she is very enthusiastic, maybe she can help you." "Really? Yes! Yes!" Zhan Bo continued: "My older sister is a university teacher, and she was supposed to pick me up, but I heard that she is going to be the chief director of a wedding today, so I can only drive there by myself." "Wow, the director?! Then she is very good!" Wan Yu immediately started thinking. Zhanbo also fell into memories: "I haven't seen her for a long time. I just remember her eyes, which are always so bright and wise. And her hands. Warm and slender, I guess she is now It must be more elegant than a few years ago. Her friends said she is a representative of women in the new era of postmodernism. People kindly use eight words to describe her—quiet as a virgin, moving like a mad rabbit!” Just as Zhanbo was immersed in the memories of his sister Yifei, in an ordinary apartment in this city, Hu Yifei took off his sunglasses and strode into the room.She raised her little finger, held a pen in one hand, and flicked four fingers on the table in turn. The gorgeous nail polish and the strapless tight red dress set off each other, making the originally slender fingers more delicate and the curve of her long legs more beautiful. Yifei still does not change her extroverted and strong personality in her student days, hating evil like hatred, carefree, and hot-tempered.After graduating from university, because of excessive "angry youth", he chose to stay in school as an ideological and political teacher, managing student work.At school, even the naughtiest boys would rather stay away when they saw her.Yifei has boundless energy and slight violent tendencies, especially when she sees unpleasant things, even if it has nothing to do with her, she will intervene.Since she was the former president of the school's Taekwondo Association, fighting was not a problem for her. Many boys would give her three points when they saw her. Because of her straightforward personality and prestige among the students, everyone called her "big sister". It is a female version of the spicy teacher.In the emotional world, Yifei has the boldness and unrestrainedness of Westerners, not only because she always dresses sexy, but also because she dares to love and hate. Once she sees a man she likes, Yifei will take the initiative to pursue him without any hesitation. Taboo, but there have been countless experiences of scaring the other party away or screwing up the ending... Hu Yifei shook her hair, slowly picked up the walkie-talkie, and suddenly yelled at the other end, her red lips immediately split into a bloody mouth: "Yes! That's right, the red carpet is 80 meters, why is it missing? I am 5 meters! This boss is too wicked! The price of pork has risen, and the carpet has come to me to lose weight? Isn’t their carpet made of pigskin? Notify the lawyer! I will sue him!” Hu Yifei pointed at the phone, Anxiously, like a field commander. In the same room, a dozen or so staff members are busy, some are preparing desserts in the kitchen area, some are preparing flowers, some are doing makeup, a welcome "Mickey Mouse" is changing clothes, a A rock band in strange costumes was adjusting equipment on the balcony, and a few assistants were on the phone. At this time, an assistant hurried to Yifei: "Sister Fei, this is the flower basket you ordered, please sign for it." "Where's the flower basket?" As soon as Yifei turned around, a huge flower basket appeared in front of her, which made her almost fall over in fright, and the assistant hurriedly supported her slender waist. "Please, this is the payment address, not the delivery address. What are you doing here? Send it to the lawn downstairs! Go go go go go!" Yifei immediately regained his composure and waved his arms. Yifei took out the walkie-talkie again, and issued an order super quickly: "Hurry up, everyone, the props department, the catering department, the security department, the scenery department, and that (pointing to the balcony) - I don't know what department, I will be there in 10 minutes Headquarters meeting, over." A neat reply came from the room and the intercom at the same time: "Yes madam!" Yifei leaned on the kitchen table, picked up a snack and took a bite, suddenly realized that it was a snack for the guests, so she looked around, seeing no one saw it, and stuffed it back. "Sister Fei, the bride's phone number is on the line." Yifei walked towards the phone unhurriedly, not forgetting to urge loudly: "Tony, help me to ask if my takeaway has arrived." Yifei who picked up the phone immediately turned into a cloyingly sweet voice: "Hi! Honey, don't worry, everything is ok here, and you will be responsible for dressing up beautifully and shocking the audience. The wedding car is already on the way. It's no problem, everything is under control, I'll be busy first, that's all." The assistant standing aside stared at Yifei's hypocritical face, and the goosebumps fell all over the floor. As soon as the phone was hung up, Yifei returned to his original appearance and shouted viciously: "Remind the sound engineer's progress, it's too slow, I'll go down to test the sound in 10 minutes." Another assistant kindly reminded: "Sister Fei, but you just informed me that there will be a meeting in 10 minutes." Yifei was stunned for a moment, then smiled sweetly and hooked his fingers, then suddenly hooked the assistant's neck with a foul move in Taekwondo, and said fiercely: "Is there a problem?" The assistant who was locked under Yifei's arms Shake your head violently. "From what you say, your sister must be a very gentle person—where is her apartment?" Wan Yu's words revealed her admiration for Zhanbo's sister.But if Wan Yu in the car sees the scene in the apartment at this moment, she will definitely not think so again. "In the city center." Zhanbo replied. "Downtown. I've never seen a wedding, will you take me there?" "Aren't you going to go treasure hunting?" "That's right! The city center is the first stop of my treasure hunt!" Wan Yu asked the driver excitedly, "Master, is it still far from the city center?" The driver said without looking back, "It wasn't far just now, but it's quite far now!" "Ah!?" Zhanbo's confusion always appeared at any time. "But we're going to the city center to watch the wedding!" Wan Yu insisted. The driver still didn't look back: "Today's wedding?" "Yes." Wan Yu replied. "That's probably too late." "Ah!?" Zhan Bo suddenly screamed, and quickly turned his head to look at the sign behind the car, which read: Airport-Southern Suburbs Special Line. "I got in the wrong car!" Zhan Bo turned his head, his expression was more painful than when he was stepped on. Cars drive on roads surrounded by farmland, billowing with dust.Zhan Bo's wailing came from inside the carriage: "NO——" In another time and space, Zeng Xiaoxian is doing a show in the live broadcast room. "A good man is me, I am a good man, I am Zeng Xiaoxian, welcome to continue listening to "Your Moon, My Heart"." No one took it seriously but himself. Zeng Xiaoxian adjusted the audio console, pushed a soothing song, and continued: "Many people ask me, what kind of man is a good man? I said that a good man is a man who can take his beloved woman to the end of his dream. What is the biggest dream of a woman? Yes, it is to wear a holy wedding dress and walk on the red carpet of happiness. Xiaoxian has such a roommate, who is about to join hands with his lover to achieve a positive result. This afternoon is their wedding. Many times we They all live in an urban fairy tale but don’t know it. Just like this new couple, they lived in two suites in the same apartment a long time ago, but unfortunately one always walks to the left, and the other always takes the elevator, so They often can’t meet. It’s a website that allows them to meet each other. After pushing away the wall, they find that the two parties have already been together—wow, it’s so romantic, isn’t it? Today they will join hands in their love and achieve a positive result. Don’t be envious, in fact You can too." Zeng Xiaoxian was intoxicated in the romantic scene he described. "Okay, let's take the next call from the listener." "Hi, hello." "Hello, Mr. Zeng?" "That's right, I am a good man, and I am Zeng Xiaoxian." Zeng Xiaoxian was very satisfied with the above title. "I was very moved after hearing your story, but the person you mentioned is a bit lucky, right?" "Don't say that," Zeng Xiaoxian narrowed his eyes, still devoted, "Love is like this, when you don't know it, he comes to your side." "But what if I always have bad luck?" "This audience, no one will be lucky forever, and no one will be unlucky forever. As long as you are firm..." Zeng Xiaoxian was still confidently preparing to enlighten the audience with theories, but before he could finish speaking, the other end of the phone He interrupted anxiously. "You don't know, I eat sesame seed cakes and get beer caps, eat chaos and eat mothballs, slap flies on nails, go to Qingsongguan to burn incense, and my mobile phone is dropped in the merit box and I can't get it out." Zeng Xiaoxian listened Listening, pinching the Jingming acupoint at the base of the nose, feeling helpless for the other party's bizarre experience. "Well, you..." Zeng Xiaoxian wanted to find some words to comfort him, but the other end of the phone didn't seem to stop at all. "It's nothing. I heard your story just now, and I also want to know if the person next door to me is my other half." "Very good, take the first step bravely, and you will have unexpected gains." Zeng Xiaoxian thought he had finally found an entry point. "So I punched a hole in that wall just now, and guess who I saw afterwards?" "Your significant other?" Zeng Xiaoxian didn't quite believe it himself. "I saw the property and the security guard!" Zeng Xiaoxian opened his mouth wide, dumbfounded. "My listener, before you decide to smash the wall, please confirm whether it is a load-bearing wall." "No, did you tell me to hit the wall? What if they want to fine me now?..." The audience began to complain. "Hello? Hello? Can you hear me? Hello?" Zeng Xiaoxian had a premonition that the conversation would get out of hand, so he took out his trump card——in front of the microphone, he crumpled a ball of paper, and then mixed it with his cry of electric current, simulating a phone call Disconnected. "Here—" Zeng Xiaoxian seized the opportunity, quickly cut off the call, heaved a sigh of relief, and turned on the music... After a morning of tossing around, Yifei was so tired that he collapsed on the sofa: "Tony, ask me why my takeaway hasn't arrived yet." An assistant came to report: "Sister Fei, someone saw a mouse near the dining table just now." Yifei sat up in surprise: "What? Are you sure? How many, how big?" The assistant replied falteringly: "They said 'whoosh' and passed by." Yifei blinked her eyes wide: "Are you sure it was a 'swoosh', not a 'swoosh'?" "Huh?" The assistant was surprised. Yifei stood up suddenly and took out the walkie-talkie: "Security department, security department, please pay attention, orange alert, a potential safety hazard has been found." The assistant hurriedly answered into the intercom: "I am the security department—what should I do?" Yifei blamed aggressively: "What should I do? First-level combat readiness, fully armed, cordoned off, sea, land and air!" "Oh!" Yifei waved his hand, pointing to another assistant who was waiting obediently after being choked up just now: "Call me 5 police dogs immediately!" "Sister Fei, we don't have police dogs." The assistant was innocent. "Then look at any pugs, sled dogs, or mutton dogs in the apartment. I will recruit them. I will search all over the place, and I will not let a rat's tail go. Go go go go go." The assistant pushed out the door. Then continue to say softly and charmingly: "Tony, my takeaway is efficient!" At this time, the assistant who had just been pushed out of the door came back anxiously and said, "Sister Fei, catch mice... you should use cats!" Yifei was stunned, and suddenly smiled sweetly and hooked her fingers. The assistant knew that something was wrong, so she ran away from the door.
Clear skies, balloons, champagne, gourmet food, and flowers used to decorate every part of the wedding venue.On the lawn of the apartment, preparations for the wedding are busy, and Yifei's efforts are not in vain. The girl at the front desk who welcomed the guests took the gift money from the guests and bowed politely: "Thank you, please sign, here please." At this time, a different man quietly appeared in the wedding crowd.The bullish leather shoes, the bullish pants, and the bullish suit, coupled with that handsome face, exude a charming light all over.This man is called Lu Ziqiao, and he has always been an unreliable man. He has no special skills, no legitimate hobbies, and no serious job. He has a thick skin, so he is very skilled in deceiving him.It has to be said that Lu Ziqiao has a ruffian aura that cannot be ignored.But on the other hand, he is always unrestrained and free.With this unrestrained and handsome appearance, no matter where he goes, no matter how poor he is, he never lacks girls. With her hands in her pockets, Zi Qiao swayed gracefully to the door of the love apartment. Seeing that it was a wedding, she walked in with a sly smile on her lips. "Sir, please stay and sign." The girl at the front desk stopped Ziqiao and hinted cautiously. With a swipe of his pen, Zi Qiao left his name.For the rest, I don't know. The girl at the front desk then bowed to him. Zi Qiao smiled back, turned around and walked inside. "Hey! Sir." The girl at the front desk stopped Zi Qiao again, and bowed deeply to him again. With one arm on her waist, Zi Qiao bowed in a gentlemanly manner, and was about to walk in again. "What about your gift money...?" The girl at the front desk grabbed him, eagerly gave a clear indication, and pouted into the plate where the gift money was placed. To ease the embarrassment, Zi Qiao pretended to apologize and said, "Oh, I almost forgot." Zi Qiao pretended to be digging around in his jacket pocket, and the girl at the front desk saw that this man was behaving strangely, and her smile was a little stiff. Zi Qiao took out a small medicine bottle from his pocket.The girl at the front desk asked in surprise, "What is this?" "How can gift money express my blessings to these two newcomers, let alone everyone giving gift money, it's too vulgar. My present is the crystallization of the latest technology - Qiao's Magic Pill." Zi Qiao spoke like a speech explain. "Health care product?" The girl at the front desk took the medicine bottle and continued to ask. Ziqiao took out an instruction manual from nowhere, and spread it exaggeratedly in mid-air, forming a big paper like a strategic map, which was tightly covered on the front desk, and the girl at the front desk looked over with admiration. "You are wrong, this is not an ordinary health care product. This product is extracted from the best natural raw materials in Australia. It uses nanotechnology, cloning technology, and low-temperature cold extraction technology. The necessary nutritional elements..." Ziqiao said while pointing at the item she mentioned on the paper, and the girl at the front desk was stunned when she heard it. "Oh... so good, what's the use?" "Generally speaking, this is a kind of bedding that can inspire people's yearning for a better life." Ziqiao said and drew a big circle on the instruction manual, and then mysteriously drew an upward arrow next to the big circle . "Bedding?" The girl at the front desk was very surprised. Ziqiao raised her eyebrows grimly: "The price is fair, and the broken price is only 998. Today is a big day, I only charge you 500, and the rest will be my gift money. I will put the gift here. I will give you the change myself." Take it." Saying that, Zi Qiao consciously took the red envelopes from the plate.The girl at the front desk understood from Zi Qiao's rhetoric, and saw that her face was livid, and suddenly she slammed a hammer on the table. "Wow! Where did you get the hammer?" Zi Qiao exclaimed. "You rascal! If you make trouble again, I will call someone!" The girl at the front desk issued an ultimatum. "Flying saucer!" Zi Qiao pointed to the distance.The girl at the front desk turned her head, and in the blink of an eye, Zi Qiao had disappeared. The airport bus stopped at the end of the road, leaving two young men and women without direction.In front of you is the endless sea and the seagulls singing leisurely, and behind you are large fields. Zhanbo wanted to cry but said without tears: "I was wrong, I should have seen it clearly before coming up." Wan Yu breathed freely against the wind: "It's okay, it's quite fun here." "But there are no cars here. If we walk back, we won't be able to reach the urban area the day after tomorrow." While Zhan Bo was talking, an uncle farmer drove a tractor, humming a ditty. "Uncle! Uncle!" Wan Yu went up to meet him. "What's the matter, girl?" replied the farmer. "Your kart is so big." Wan Yu happily stroked the body of the tractor. "What are you talking about... a truck? I don't drive a truck." The farmer was dumbfounded. "This is a tractor, haven't you seen a tractor?" Zhan Bo reminded in a low voice. "Really? This is obviously a go-kart!" Wan Yu pouted, insisting on her own opinion. The farmer was happy: "Haha, you girl is quite funny, do you want a ride? Uncle will give you a ride." "Hmm! Thank you, uncle!" "Come on!" Zhanbo and Wanyu got into the car happily as if meeting a benefactor. Along the way, the optimistic Wan Yu danced and beat the rhythm by herself, while humming hip-hop songs, in a cheerful mood.Suddenly the farmer turned his head and started talking to Wan Yu. "Girl, you learn this song from me." "Uncle, you will too?" Just as he was talking, a van came across the road and started honking.Zhanbo's nostrils are enlarged, and his fingers are in front of him.The farmer was only focused on talking to Wan Yu, completely unaware of the danger. "Our chickens walk like this. Their claws move the same way as yours. Look, lift, let go, lift, let go! There is also the movement of milking, and so on." The farmer took off his hands Let's put on a few milking movements, just like hip-hop. The van and the tractor passed by, Zhanbo's face was pale and he was panting heavily. "I don't know when it started. I saw many young people imitating me." The farmer was very proud. "Haha, uncle, you are so funny! Then you are the founder of hip-hop!" Wan Yu really believed it. "Why hit people, I drive a tractor very slowly. I never hit people. It's not my fault." The two were talking to themselves, speaking a language that neither of them could understand, but they were having fun, and there was constant laughter in the car. In the apartment room, Hu Yifei held a phone and a walkie-talkie in each hand, and continued to speak quickly and non-stop alternately: "Stop talking nonsense, hurry up and do it!" "Emmy, check the light index and notify the photographer to take a test shot." "Carpet If it’s not long enough, ask him to sew his red underpants up to make up the 5 meters!” “The band’s instruments need Final Check, who is responsible for this matter, let him come and see me. And Lisa, call me, Has the priest come out yet? Go go go go go go go. Tony, my takeaway is efficient!" After speaking, Yifei was a little dizzy.At this time, there was a knock on the door. Yifei was overjoyed: "Ha, my takeaway!" Opening the door, there was Zeng Xiaoxian standing at the door.The two looked at each other, Feidun was disappointed, Zeng Xiaoxian was a little angry. "Oh! This is not my takeaway!" Yifei ignored him, closed the door, and sat back on the sofa. Xiaoxian rushed in: "Comrade Hu Yifei, I have something to tell you." Yifei replied indifferently: "Tell me quickly, don't you see that I am busy here?" "Can you have a sense of teamwork when conducting?" Xiaoxian barked his teeth and claws angrily. "I don't understand what you mean, my team is very good and organized." Yi Fei spread his hands. "The team I'm talking about also includes other members involved in planning and organizing this wedding." "For example?" Xiaoxian waved his hands and said in a high voice, "For example—me." Everyone stared at Xiaoxian, and Yifei suddenly realized: "Oh!" Waved to let the departments continue to work, "Yes, you are in charge. When the things at hand are arranged, I will come to you for a meeting of." "I want to emphasize that I am the host, not a reporter." Xiaoxian deliberately dragged on the "reporter" for a long time. "... Is there a difference?" Yifei pretended not to understand. Xiaoxian finally broke out: "Of course there is a difference. I think the groom appointed me as the host because he wanted me to control the entire 'on-site' process of the wedding." Yifei stood up without showing any weakness: "Oh? I think the bride appointed me to be the 'chief director' of this wedding, hoping that I would control everything on the scene—including the host." Finally, I don't forget to emphasize it. Xiaoxian reluctantly gave in: "Okay, okay, since you have read my hosting draft and plan, why do you still..." Xiaoxian suddenly understood, and said angrily, "You haven't read it yet, have you?" "Who said I didn't watch it!" Yifei refused to admit it. "You actually!" Yifei said perfunctorily: "I just... think your set is not very suitable for this wedding." A contemptuous smile floated on his face, "Which strange uncle wrote the wedding plan in the old society. It has been so many years since liberation, so it can't be used. of." "No matter how weird it is, it's better than your perverted aunt's plan." Xiaoxian viciously picked up a bull-head mask and a bear-head mask next to him, "However I see it, you plan to make the wedding an animal carnival—— MOW!" Learned a nasty cow cry. "You're out! Never in! I'll listen to you when I'm free!" Yifei wanted to leave the battlefield. "Stop!" The two faced each other hostilely, getting closer and closer. "The groom is my roommate who gets along day and night. I hope to give him a perfect wedding without any regrets." Xiaoxian changed his tactics and was moved with emotion. "The bride is the sister in my boudoir who has been together since my university. I don't allow her wedding to be rigid and unremarkable." Yifei confronted each other, and spitting Xingzi sprayed Xiaoxian all over the face. "This is your so-called characteristic." Xiaoxian wiped his face and pointed to the band members on the balcony - a yellow-haired rooster head was playing the guitar. The other two band members shook their heads hysterically, their long hair covered their faces, very similar to "Sadako", "Why did you bring so many fake foreign devils here? The bride and groom are all Chinese, so I don't know." I thought she was going to marry in Mexico." "According to what you say, if I bring two penguins to the bride, will I marry to the South Pole? Your plan is good! First worship to the sky, second worship to the earth, are you getting married or going to the grave!" . "Chinese tradition! It's a matter of course!" "I'm sorry, I've already arranged a Western-style traditional one. I have invited a priest from the Blessed Virgin Mary Church, and there must be a holy ceremony." "Does that mean I don't need to host?" Xiaoxian put down the challenge. "OHOHOHO, how can this work, you can announce the curtain during the hot show!" Yifei didn't show any affection, Xiaoxian clutched his chest, feeling very distressed. "As a director, you should consider the feelings of all the guests." "The guests are all invited by me." "I have an invitation too. I have advertised on the show, and my best friend is getting married, and there will be many fans coming to support me." Xiaoxian seemed to have found the last straw, but Yifei cut it off easily . "Hmph, the name of their fans is so nice, what about corn and jelly, but there is a fan called Xian (Xian) Cai, no matter how I hear it, I feel so shabby that I want to cry." Xiao Xianqi had no choice but to insist: "They will definitely support me." "Then just wait and see!" "Humph!" The two shook their heads and strode away with mutual disdain. Wan Yu and Zhan Bo's joyous singing all the way became quiet with the strike of the tractor. The farmer came down and took a look: "It's broken! The machine won't go away!" "Ah? Then what should we do?" Zhanbo's worrying spirit is always the first to appear. The farmer was not surprised: "It's an old problem, but it doesn't matter. I will lead the cow to pull it away tomorrow." "Look, there's a car." Wan Yu's curiosity always turned into observation. "Hello!" Zhan Bo shouted, waving his hand to stop a Mercedes Benz 600 tied with a wedding bow. "Where are you going?" Zhanbo asked angrily. The driver seemed to be drinking too much, his face was red, and he couldn't speak very clearly: "I...I...go to the city... area." Wan Yu asked with concern: "Master, are you drunk?" The driver stuttered even more: "This kid, he stuttered and drank too much when he was a child, you can't tell. You really can't speak." Zhan Bo quickly answered, "Master, can you take us for a ride?" "No—no, this car is...not mine. This is...a concierge car for a wedding ceremony." The driver didn't give any room for negotiation. Wan Yu yelled, "Just send us to the village ahead. Uncle's go-kart is broken." The driver was surprised: "What the hell? There are go-karts here? Are you having fun?" Zhanbo hurriedly added: "We won't get dirty, we're sitting on a tractor. Just drag us along." The driver still disagreed: "No... no. I have to go, don't delay my business." Wan Yu twisted her body and said in a whiny voice, "Please, master, thank you. Huh?" After speaking, Wan Yu made a super cute pose and blinked her eyes.The driver suddenly felt the cool breeze blowing on his face. "Girl, what are you doing? You're trying to compete with me! I'm really out of temper, and I'm attacking you for this unique skill. Let me tell you, I promise you about this, let's go." The driver patted The car door, signaling to go on the road. The driver dangled the tow rope on the hook at the rear of the Mercedes-Benz, and stuck his head out to shout at them: "If you want to stop, turn on the left-side turn signal, and if you want to keep going, turn on the right-side direction." Light, I can see!" "Okay!" Wan Yu happily replied loudly. "Slow down, master!" While Zhan Bo was speaking, the two cars had already restarted. At this time, Yifei was anxiously looking at his watch: "Who is here! Help me to ask, where is that priest?" The assistant replied: "He has arrived, but he may have eaten bad food and went to the toilet to have diarrhea." Yifei said anxiously: "It's almost the rehearsal, how can you lose the chain at this time. Can't wait anymore, which toilet?" "The one in the lobby." “我去找他。”一菲说着，大步走向大堂。 “喂！那是男厕所！”助手提醒道，可是一菲充耳不闻。 子乔躲在男厕所里，不住地大喘气。随着一阵抽马桶的声音，满头大汗的神父推门出来，把子乔吓了一跳。神父刚刚拉得很辛苦，脸色惨白，浑身被汗水浸湿了，靠在门上直哼哼。 “哇——”子乔摇着头，表示同情。 神父脱下黑袍，扇扇风，喘口气：“年纪大了，肠胃不好。” “我父亲也有这样的毛病，肠胃缺乏有机的调理，导致消化功能紊乱。再加上现在地球自转越来越慢，引力越来越小，唉，不容易啊。”子乔煞有其事地说。 “小伙子，你还挺懂的嘛！”可怜的神父似乎不只是肠胃不好使。 “过奖，您是神父吧。”子乔看到神父正把坠着十字架的项链摘下来。 “是啊，都要请我主持婚礼，我这肠胃都吃坏了。” 子乔突然灵机一动：“你也真是不容易啊，要不你可以试试美国最近研制的肠胃保健药。一颗就见效，由澳大利亚最上乘的纯天然原材料提炼而成的。” 神父抬起头像看到了救星：“是吗？太好了，给我一颗。” 子乔缩回手：“一颗只卖380！” 神父毫不犹豫地递上400元，抓起一颗咽了下去。 “颗颗精品，立竿见影。您真是识货，如果你有兴趣，可以帮我推荐给你的亲人朋友，我可以给你百分之八的销售提成！这药不但可以保护肠胃，还可以润肠通便呢！”子乔还想扩大效益，可马上变成了画蛇添足。 “你说什么！”突然肚子里咕噜一声，神父又钻进了厕所。子乔显出一副无辜的表情。 “没事吧，神父？” “……%$……%$#！被你害死了。” “有吗？神父，长者，大师？”神父已经没有声音了。子乔爬下去看，可是看不到里面的动静。 过了一会，神父还没出来，子乔百无聊赖地拿起神父留在洗手池边上的长袍，在自己身上比划着。 这时胡一菲冲了进来，第一眼便看到了拿着长袍的子乔。 子乔皮笑肉不笑地说：“小姐，这是男厕所。” “我知道。都快彩排了，你还在这里磨磨蹭蹭的！快点快点。”胡一菲错把子乔当成了神父，一把抓住他的手，把他拽了出去。子乔“喂喂”的叫喊，但是没有解释的机会。 奔驰600拖着展博他们坐的拖拉机在慢慢地行驶，宛瑜坐在拖拉机上和农民一起开心地唱歌——大冬天里大太阳，玉米地里暖洋洋，哟哟——很有乡村hip hop的味道。突然一辆宝马750从他们身边疾驰而过。 “什么车那么快？”展博呆呆地望向宝马750驶去的方向。 “宝马，宝马！”宛瑜立刻认出来。 “220码了吧！”展博发问。 宛瑜疯头疯脑地大喊：“喂！开那么快干吗？了不起啊！” “就是，赶着去投胎啊？”农民附和。 “信不信我们追上你？”宛瑜一句不经心的玩笑话被奔驰驾驶座里的司机听见了。 “就喜欢这暴脾气，追。”司机挂上高速档，油门猛踩，汽车疾驶而去。拖拉机驾驶座上的三人完全没有心理准备，一股强大的推背力推得三人摇摇晃晃。 农民：“哟！” 展博：“啊！” 宛瑜：“哈哈哈哈！” 展博大叫：“怎……怎么了？” 奔驰继续加速，车内的速度计不断飙升。 “啊！”展博惊慌失措。 “哈哈哈哈！”只有宛瑜根本不知危险为何物，还在开心地笑。 “我们在干吗？”展博还在犯傻。 “飚车啊！”宛瑜兴奋极了。 “啊？！快，快，快打向左方向灯，让……让司机停车。”展博撕心裂肺地喊叫。 风太大，宛瑜没听清：“什么？左转弯？” 展博都快哭了：“别碰方向盘，左方向灯！” “哈哈，哦！”宛瑜打出了左转方向灯。
在下一路段上，执勤警察的对讲机突然响起：“01，01，收到请回话。” “收到，什么情况。” “一辆宝马超速达到280码，正往你处开来，后面还有一辆奔驰紧跟着飚车。请拦截。” 执勤警察立即跨上摩托车：“收到。” “慢着，奔驰后面还有一辆拖拉机。”对讲机里的声音显得也很吃惊。 执勤警察更迷惑了：“拖拉机？！” 对讲机里继续传来信息：“没错。这辆拖拉机更牛，还打着左变道灯，他想超车！” 一菲帮子乔把神父的服装套上，子乔看着这身衣服，还挺合身的。 “神父，你的讲稿呢？”一菲问道。 “讲稿？什么讲稿。”子乔脑子里的角色还没转变。 “就是主持新郎新娘说你愿意啊，我愿意，从此不离不弃，白头到老的讲稿？”一菲的解释很实用。 “噢~这个我电视上看到过。”子乔脱口而出。 “电视上？”一菲奇怪。 子乔马上察觉到不妥，改口说：“我是说，我主持过好多次了，都有电视台来拍过。” 一菲表示理解：“OK。不过，我们这次要改一改。” “没问题，怎么改？” “用英语说。” 子乔吸了口气，笑容当场僵住…… 一菲解释说：“新娘从小是在英国长大的。她希望有一个原汁原味的西式婚礼。所以我才专程找你呀，圣母安福会的神父最正宗了，我去过你们那里听礼拜。你……好像是新来的吧？” 子乔已是一身冷汗，怕被揭穿，干脆坦白吧：“其实我……我其实……误会了。” 这时，助手送来一份记录让一菲签字，一菲注意力转移的同时，嘴巴还在继续：“结束之后，你到前台那里去领你的红包。我都安排好了。你刚刚……说什么误会了？” 子乔眼睛里立刻放光：“没有，我说，不会有问题，No problem。呵呵呵呵呵。” “呵呵呵！”一菲投以赞许的目光，然后转身走开。 子乔一听有红包拿，顿时来了劲头，开始神兜兜神兜兜地晃了。 奔驰和展博一行人被警察拦下了。警察在给那个奔驰司机测酒精，这边展博的头发都被吹得竖了起来。 警察对展博和宛瑜说：“他的确是喝过酒了，你们还真当他是结巴啊？” 司机在一边嚷嚷：“我没喝多，我要……结婚……”随即被送进一辆警用面包车。 警察叹了口气：“拖拉机我们会送回去，我说你们小年轻啊，真是喜欢玩花样，结婚放着奔驰不坐，非要坐拖拉机玩，不要命啦？” "we are not……" “别解释了，”警察打断展博，“看在你们大喜日子，我就不带你们回去做笔录了。自己会开车么？” “我不会开。”展博看看宛瑜。 “我？我会开卡丁车！”展博头疼…… 警察无可奈何地上车送他们去。 “去哪儿？”警察问道。 “爱情公寓。”宛瑜忙接上来。 警察没反应过来：“地址！” 展博连忙解释：“警官，去我姐姐那里，地址在我包里，”接着小声说，“这个双鱼座的脑子不好。你别听她的。”说完像没事人似的望向窗外。 警察在后视镜里瞪了他半天：“我说地址呢？”那表情在说，你脑子也不咋地！ “哦——”展博这才慌慌张张地找地址。 在公寓草坪的用餐区，丰盛的自助餐已经开席了。一个活泼清纯的女孩正一杯接一杯地喝着饮料，吃蛋糕，点心。可是，与其他人不同的是，她嘴里一边吃着，手里还一边抓起吃的往包里揣。 餐桌另一边，子乔假借神父的造型，在宾客中间游走，帮他们做上帝保佑的十字动作，顺便卡油。子乔看到一旁的点心，也耐不住嘴馋，伸出手去，不想和女孩的手抢了同一块！ “陈美嘉！”子乔失声大喊。 “吕子乔！”女孩也惊呆了。 “嘘！”子乔首先镇定下来。 “怎么会是你？”美嘉很不情愿。 “那应该是我的台词吧。”子乔也没想到。 美嘉的手指从上到下指着子乔：“你——玩cosplay啊？” 子乔装出一副正经八百的样子：“我是今天的神父。” 美嘉不屑地说：“还神父呢，神经吧你，你什么时候信的教？你不是韩国人吗？” 子乔美滋滋地说：“我现在追求已经不一样了，所以人家这次特地请我来的。你呢？你混到这儿来干嘛！” 美嘉一时语塞：“你——你管得着吗！我是新娘的朋友。” “哈！说！新娘叫什么名字？”子乔发难。 “叫~叫~哼，我就不信你知道！”美嘉赌气反问。 “哈，就知道你又是来骗吃骗喝的。”子乔好像早就猜透了。 “你想怎么样？我今天可是带了男朋友来的。”美嘉被揭穿，只好硬撑下去。 谁知子乔阴阳怪气地说：“哎呦！我好怕怕哦，怕死我了，你的男朋友呢？让他出来，我要给他好好超度超度。”在胸前划了个十字。 “他……他去厕所了，我这就去找他。”美嘉想借机逃脱。 “厕所在那边，”子乔向美嘉逃走的反方向一指，“得了吧！我就是刚从厕所出来的。里面只有花甲老爷爷一名。你男人该不是撇下你跑了吧？”子乔幸灾乐祸。 “呸！”美嘉唾了子乔一脸，“你以为这世界上人人都和你一样，花心大萝卜，撇下个大美女自己跑了？”美嘉耸耸肩，有点顾影自怜的味道。 子乔瞥了一眼美嘉，不紧不慢地说：“我那时候是为了你好！大美女？整个就一红颜祸水。慢着，红颜还算不上，整一个祸水。” 美嘉气得直跺脚：“你怎么不学学人家吴三桂，知道做男人要忍辱负重？” “那要看对谁了，人家可是为了陈圆圆。” “有什么了不起，我也姓陈。” 子乔的视线瞄向美嘉胸部：“人家陈圆圆，你陈扁扁。” “吕子乔！”美嘉气得跳了起来。 子乔得意，摇头晃脑地说：“正是在下，怎么地？” 美嘉一把抓住子乔的领口，刚要开骂，忽然发现异常：“你这件大褂也是坑来的吧！” “啊？怎么会。”子乔声音变得紧张。 美嘉盯着领口：“领子上写着——汤姆孙·克鲁斯。说！哪儿偷的？好啊你！” “嘘！”子乔低下头，止住美嘉的大嗓门儿。 美嘉揪住小辫儿不放：“我最多吃人两块饼干，就当游客，你乔装打扮，居心不轨，完全可以定性成恐怖分子啊！” 子乔赶紧告饶：“好好好！都是为了求个财，何必两败俱伤呢。大路朝天，各走一边，井水不犯河水，怎么样？” “哼。”美嘉说着把他手里的点心抢了过来，咬一大口。子乔只好舔舔手指。 助手气喘吁吁地跑到胡一菲面前：“时间差不多了，嘉宾都到了。” “新郎新娘呢？”一菲问道。 “还在路上。”助手解释。 一菲拿起对讲机：“各部门准备，婚礼马上就要开始了，各部门再做一遍最后的确认。注意，这不是演习，注意，这不是演习。Go go go！”助手也知趣地跑开。一菲顿了顿，调整一下情绪，对着对讲机深情地说：“迎宾音乐起！”楼下传来震天的唢呐声锣鼓声，一菲吓了一跳。 “怎么回事？我请的摇滚乐队呢？”一菲从窗台往楼下草坪看去。 在草坪临时搭建的舞台上，曾小贤亮相了。 “各位乡亲父老，兄弟姐妹，我是你们的朋友——曾小贤，欢迎大家来参加今天我的好朋友——王铁柱和田二妞的婚礼。”有了舞台的曾小贤，终于扬眉吐气了。 在台下，美嘉眨了眨眼睛：“天啊，这么劲爆的名字，我能猜到就出鬼了。”随即瞥了一眼身旁的子乔。 “我也很荣幸担任今天的主持人。我要告诉大家，我们的新郎新娘已经在路上，请大家屏气凝神期待一会儿充满温情的一刻。”小贤渐入佳境。 一菲冲到后台：“小样！竟敢抢我的台词！” “在这期间，我们为大家准备了点心，请随意享用。一会儿，我们将有……”曾小贤的麦克风突然没有声音了，小贤纳闷之际，才发现是台下的胡一菲把他的麦克风给拔了，正冲着他摇晃着插头呢。曾小贤刚要发飙，一支摇滚乐队跳上了舞台，撕心裂肺地唱起《死了都要爱》，曾小贤捂住耳朵逃了下来。 台下，一菲和小贤铆上了。 “别搞错了！我是主持人！” “我是导演。” “我还是街道办事处下属公寓住户委员会的副主席呢！”官大一级吓死人，也不管这个副主席算不算是官，小贤洋洋得意地一按音控台，摇滚配乐顿时变成了黄梅调——树上的鸟儿成双对……台上的摇滚歌手倒也懂得随机应变，立马用英文跟着唱。台下的观众响起了热烈的掌声，美嘉和子乔莫名其妙。 助手在一菲耳边提醒：“大姐头，新郎新娘到了。” 一菲对着对讲机发出指令：“各部门注意，新郎新娘到了，奏乐！”推开曾小贤，切断了“树上的鸟儿成双对”。 隆重的婚礼进行曲响起，一辆扎着蝴蝶结的奔驰600停在门口。突然，爆竹声四起。一菲瞪大了眼睛，小贤做了个鬼脸，看来又是他的杰作。 展博和宛瑜从车上走下来，嘻皮笑脸的。 “哇！好隆重啊。”宛瑜赞叹。 展博躲在后面：“为什么大家都看着我们？” 所有人都被这一对头发竖起，浑身脏兮兮的“新郎新娘”惊住了，只知道机械地鼓掌。 “展博！”一菲首先认出了弟弟。 "sister!" “你怎么会在婚车里？”一菲纳闷。 “说来话长，一会儿再说了，这是我的朋友——宛瑜。”展博请出身边的宛瑜。 “你好！他是我弟弟。”一菲礼貌地点头。 “你好！我是曾小贤。” 小贤正要上前握手，一菲一把把他的手打了回去：“他是我仇人。” “你们好。”宛瑜笑得甜甜的。 “你们是怎么过来的？”一菲问道。 “啊，我们先是坐了大巴，再是卡丁车，然后是拖车，最后是婚车才到了这里。”宛瑜一口气说完。 “哦，是挺长的。”一菲想了想。 “婚礼开始了吗？”展博提出。 小贤插话说：“应该算开始了吧。” 不说还好，小贤这么一说，一菲气就不打一处来：“全是你！把我的精心设计都毁了。” 曾小贤拿过话筒回到舞台上。 “各位，刚才只是跟大家开了一个小小的玩笑，我们的新郎新娘，马上就要到了，在这共襄盛举的美好时刻，我能感受到大家给予新人的浓浓祝福。在这里，我们也收到了一份特别的贺信。是来自于，我们这对新人特别月老——也就是我们这座公寓的创始人。”小贤举起手，给大家展示手中的红色信封。 “怎么又撞死人了？谁，谁撞死人了？”展博疑惑地看了看宛瑜，宛瑜则自顾自地陶醉在婚礼气氛中。 小贤展信宣读：“我很高兴，能看到在我的房子里有这样一对可爱的年轻人喜结连理。我为你们送上祝福，你们完成了我的一个心愿。我欢迎所有的有情人都能入住我的公寓。所以，我想送上两份礼物，第一份，送给新人，在我能力范围以内，我可以完成他们的一个心愿。另一份礼物给大家——凡是在我们公寓坠入情网的有情人，可享受水电全免，房租减半！” 台下，一片热烈的掌声。 在大家的欢呼声中，子乔和美嘉睁大了眼睛，异口同声地说：“真的啊！”他们相视而笑：“你听见了没有。那还等什么？” “看！新郎新娘到了！”宛瑜第一个发现，提醒大家。 一菲举起对讲机：“全员注意，音乐起！灯光起！该起的都起！重复，不是狼来了！这次是真的！真的是真的！” 圣洁的婚礼进行曲响起再次响起。真正的新郎新娘手拉着手，走进红地毯，新郎十分英俊，新娘美丽大方。一菲和小贤各自看着新人。宛瑜眼睛里闪着泪光，展博迷惑不解地递上纸巾。 美嘉羡慕不已：“好帅！” 子乔则数落说：“啊？这就是传说中的——王铁柱和田二妞吗？” 美嘉推了子乔一下：“上台啊！神父！”子乔装模作样地上了台，新郎新娘分立两侧。 子乔拿过话筒，脑子里却诞生出一个计划：“我很荣幸即将在这里替这对夫妇接受神的洗礼成为正式夫妻。不过非常的抱歉，这可能是我最后一次，行使这个职责。” 台下一片安静。 子乔继续煽情：“我——可能无法再做神父了。因为，在这个充满爱的地方，我无法阻挡情感的召唤。偶然！绝对是偶然，十分偶然，太偶然了。就在这个公寓，我刚刚找到了我一生都在寻找的人。她就是——你，我的美嘉。”指向台下的美嘉。 台下一片哗然。 美嘉却非常配合地用手捂住心口，装作陶醉的模样。子乔走下台去，拉住美嘉的手，深情款款地说：“你的眸，清澈动人，你的手，温柔细腻，你的心，晶莹剔透。你就是我人生的伴侣，让我做你的男人好吗？” 美嘉接下去说：“你的臂，孔武有力，你的胸，宽广伟岸，你的皮，刀枪不入。”美嘉使劲地摸了摸子乔的胸口，露出一丝诡秘的笑容，“你就是我未来的依靠，让我陪你慢慢变老。” 子乔和美嘉相互依偎，闭上眼睛，尽情陶醉。只把一菲、小贤、展博、宛瑜，全都看得莫名其妙。人群中鼓起掌来，闪光灯咔嚓咔嚓地响起。子乔和美嘉像是在接受新闻发布会一样。 子乔不住地说：“对对，我们是一见钟情，一见钟情。” 美嘉也应声附和：“是，是，是，偶然，绝对是偶然，我也没想到。” 一菲忽然意识到了什么，一把拉过子乔：“神父，你也太抢戏了吧，台上还有新郎新娘呢，你不管了啊？” “哦，哦，哦。”子乔重新走上台去。 “Ladies and乡亲们，我们很高兴……”