Chapter 9 Chapter Eight If You Are the One

Soon, Nolan went to the United States.Now that they have decided to be together, Zeng Xiaoxian's good man qualities are naturally displayed to the fullest. In addition to video chatting at a fixed time every day, he also came up with various tricks to increase each other's presence.For example, give Nuo Lan a male model's prosthetic hand, and then prepare a female model's prosthetic hand for herself, hold that hand when she misses it, and pretend that the other party is by her side.The intention is good, but the implementation is a bit wretched, and it hurts a group of roommates, and anyone who sees it will get goosebumps all over.

And Nuo Lan, of course, cooperated in every possible way with Zeng Xiaoxian's actions, despite being separated by mountains and rivers, she was still full of tenderness and held his heart firmly.But no matter what, since he already knew what Yifei was thinking, he was still a little uneasy about keeping her and Zeng Xiaoxian together day and night.It happened that one of her classmates opened a dating website for high-end people, and Nuo Lan passed Yifei's information to it, and as a result, everyone responded.Yifei, who receives a lot of application letters every day, is naturally in a good mood, or it is for An Nuolan's heart, pretending to be in a good mood, it is unknown.In life, the most important thing is of course the future, maybe there is a suitable person waiting for her?

As soon as he heard that Nuo Lan had introduced Yifei to a blind date, Zeng Xiaoxian immediately exploded: "Blind... kiss? How can you date if you have nothing to do? There are too many scammers on the Internet! Are you reliable, and..." Yifei interrupted him, and asked casually: "By the way, the Weiwei that Zhang Wei has a crush on is also a lawyer after a long time, and he is also his competitor, do you know?" Zeng Xiaoxian was stunned: "I know, but this has something to do with me?" Immediately afterwards, Yifei yelled at him angrily: "Then Nuolan's helping me on a blind date has something to do with you!"

In the past, Zeng Xiaoxian might still have some right to speak, but if he says such things now, what is his position?Now that I have Nuolan, should I let Yifei continue to wait for him alone?The reason is that, the hurdle in my heart is still difficult to pass, so I am depressed.Meijia wanted to go over to have a chat with Nuo Lan, but he blasted her away angrily. Why don't you just fall in love, pretend to be nasty every day, and get nervous, am I in your way?The more Mika thought about it, the more unhappy she became.Walking to the next door, I saw Guan Gu and Youyou were counting the plush toys that filled the room, as if they had robbed the entire toy store.Upon questioning, it turned out that Guan Gu accompanied Youyou to buy crayfish, and seeing a machine in the next door shop that uses large pliers to catch dolls, the two of them tried it out.Unexpectedly, Guan Gu played too much in Japan when he was a child. He had a lot of research on this claw machine or fishing claw machine. He passed on the tricks to Yoyo, and then gave him a little guidance. The dolls in the whole machine were moved back home.

"It's you who taught me well." "No, it's because you're smart." "No, it's because you are patient." "No, I'm sure you won't be able to catch it with someone else." "Well...you have a sweet mouth." The two of them spoke nakedly. Showing affection, Qingqing me, Meijia looked even more upset, why are people all over the world falling in love? !Zeng Xiaoxian was flying a kite by Nuo Lan, Yifei was busy picking a high-quality man, Zhang Wei was fighting a lawsuit against his crush, and Lu Ziqiao was always galloping, as if Meijia was the only one left in the love apartment.

With nowhere to go and no one to accompany, Meijia leaned on the bookshelf reading comics boredly, and fell asleep without knowing it. Suddenly, the surrounding area was smoky, and there was a doll fishing machine in the room. Guan Gu stood behind her and taught her how to catch dolls.Every time he catches one, Guan Gu will look at her with a smile, and praise him: "I'm sorry! This one is hard to catch." Meijia shyly said: "Guan Gu-jun, if you hadn't taught me personally, I would definitely not be able to do it." Guan Gu stared into her eyes and said seriously: "No, you are smart."

"No, it's your patience." "No! You won't be able to catch someone else." "I'd like to change the name. Let's call it—Death Pliers Claw Claw, how about it?" "Why didn't I think of that? You're such a little genius." "Guan Gu-jun, your mouth is so sweet." The two talked to each other, and gradually approached, so close that they could clearly hear each other's heartbeat.Meijia closed her eyes and went to meet her, feeling that Guan Gu's breath was going to surround her. "Wait, it seems that someone is watching us?" Mika suddenly felt that something was wrong, Guan Gu comforted her by saying that there was no one.There was only a plate on the table with a live crayfish in it, watching the two tenderly kiss each other with open teeth and claws...

Meijia laughed out loud in her dream, rolled off the sofa drooling, and fell awake.It happened that Zhang Wei came in from the outside with a bag on his back and a law book and a notebook in his hand. When he saw it, he hurried over to help Mijia up, and asked her funnyly what she had just dreamed about and was so happy. "I dreamed of Guan..." Mijia got up in a daze, yawned, and was about to say the word "Guan Gu", when she remembered the beauty in her dream, she blushed and quickly changed her words, "What does it matter to you?" ?” Originally just asking casually, meddling in other's affairs, and simply saying a word, Meijia blushed immediately, Zhang Wei felt strange.What's even more strange is that when asked why she was blushing, Meijia was even more flustered, pouted, her face was as red as a high fever of 42 degrees, and she spoke incoherently: "You are sick, old lady, I...you can blush if you like...it's okay What to see..."

It may be because of the many lawsuits recently, Zhang Wei's reasoning ability is very improved, and he can smell the ambiguous smell with his feet. It must be that Meijia had a very unusual dream.Such gossip, how can we not tell each other.So, he immediately went to Yifei and Zeng Xiaoxian to share his experience. "Meijia's blush is not the bright red of watermelon, nor the tender red of apple, nor the Sudan red of grilled chicken wings, but a very rippling... rippling red. So, according to my careful analysis, Meijia does It's a spring dream! ——and the object of her dream is likely to be someone we know." Zhang Wei said clearly.

Yifei interrupted him angrily: "Use your literacy in the lawsuit with Weiwei, Mrs. Xianglin! A crush on the goddess has become a competitor, and you and I have become a life and death, but you still have the mind to care about it." Other people's business. You can't guess what a girl is thinking!" "It's not difficult, I've found the pattern." Seeing that the two people who had always been gossips were indifferent, Zhang Wei was a little surprised. Yifei curled her lips: "Let's play. Why are you men so self-righteous, and when you really want to show some skills, you all wilt?"

The mood is so wrong, is the blind date not going well?Yifei's information is posted on the homepage, and there are only dozens of applicants who are tall, handsome and rich, and they are too busy!The point is, rich people are not necessarily creative, even the way of dating is the same-eat, drink; Zhang Wei chuckled: "That's not very good, the food and beverages are all saved." Yifei asked him: "Aren't you good at reasoning? Guess who I want to date?" When Zeng Xiaoxian heard that Yifei's date was not going well, he was secretly happy, and a little more joking: "Don't make things difficult for Zhang Wei, he can only reason about girls' minds. You are different." Yifei turned her head to look at him with a smile, but with a little force on her hand, she twisted a spoon out of its original shape.Seeing that the situation was not right, Zhang Wei and Zeng Xiaoxian both ran away. Recently, the comic industry is not doing well. Guan Gu’s "Love Three-legged Cat" has been suspended by the magazine. The reason is ridiculous. It is said that in order to coincide with the release of "Avengers 2", the boss decided to temporarily insert a few issues of American hero comics. , said to be more appropriate. (Note: several issues = 200 issues) If it was in the past, when one person was full and the whole family was not hungry, Guan Gu would certainly not worry.But now that he is getting married, he has to be responsible not only for himself, but also for Yoyo and their future. He has to face the reality and live a down-to-earth life.Continue to create, or get married and raise a family?Between dreams and reality, it seems that there is only one to choose.The income from drawing comics became more and more unstable, Guan Gu had no choice but to consider changing jobs. Yoyo feels sorry for him, and can't bear to let him give up his comic business, but life must have a certain material foundation, daily necessities are very real economic problems.After discussing and discussing, it was decided to let Guan Gu find a part-time job first, so as not to delay the creation, but also to have income, killing two birds with one stone!As for what to do, the two found senior brother Du Jun, thinking that he would come up with a good idea after traveling all over the world and being well-informed. It hasn't been a day or two since the manga industry has been in recession. The reason why the elder brother is able to be proud of the Jianghu and keep the sound of the waves is because of... his unparalleled professional strength and his unique status in the Jianghu? "It's all because of me holding 18 part-time jobs at the same time... Otherwise, I would have starved to death." Du Jun said a word, and Guan Gu and Youyou were fooled, 18?Dare to love comics is a part-time job! The part-time little prince, who can bear what others can't bear, behave what others can't do, and persevere, is a great weapon. Part-time job 1: Sit in an empty house that has just been renovated, take a deep breath, use the self-purification function of the human body, absorb as much formaldehyde gas as possible, and let customers move in as soon as possible. People call it a formaldehyde purifier.Although the difficulty of the job is low, there is no requirement for academic qualifications, height and appearance, and one hour of work a day, the income is not bad, but the injury index is too high, which is slightly equal to self-harm. Part-time job 2: get people's money, and get rid of disasters with people.It's not about gangsters killing people and getting more goods. The big brother's customers are not ordinary people, but Taobao sellers. His job is to ensure the positive ratings of customers and help him eliminate bad reviews.It doesn’t matter whether you have the wrong version, poor quality, wrong size, too slow delivery, or your mother is in a bad mood today. As soon as the bad review eliminators go out, put your face in the cabinet, hang your soul on the tree, cry poor, pretend to be pitiful, Hugging thighs, stalking, hard-working, no bottom line, no morals, no bad reviews that cannot be changed, and no crown that cannot be rushed. ... The part-time job recommended by the big brother either ruins the body or sells the soul, which is really unreliable.In desperation, Guan Gu and Yoyo had to find everyone to discuss, hesitatingly and eagerly expressing that when dreams come true, they need to be down-to-earth.It would be great if you can find a suitable part-time job, not only to meet the expenses, but also to live up to the grace of love. Everyone said in unison: "Speak human words!" Only then did Guan Gu and Youyou have to admit that they were poor recently, so they wanted to find a part-time job to support their family. Everyone was trying to come up with ideas, only Meijia was distracted, Zeng Xiaoxian saw that she had a strange expression, and shouted a few times before she heard it, she was stunned for a long time, and suddenly became very enthusiastic "Hi".Zhang Wei saw Meijia's completely inexplicable reaction, which further confirmed his thoughts. Zeng Xiaoxian didn't care, and asked him: "Guan Gu wants to find a part-time job, what's your opinion?" Meijia's enthusiastic smile disappeared immediately, replaced by an embarrassed face, like a child who was caught doing something bad: "Me? You ask Yoyo about such an important thing, I'm not Guan Gu's girlfriend This is a private matter, I... how can I get involved. If my opinion destroys your loving life, then my sin will be serious. " Don't you just want to hear everyone's opinions?Earning extra money is not looking for an affair, but it will also affect the relationship?Everyone is even more inexplicable. Guan Gu thought she didn't understand, and explained it carefully: "Meijia, you have been my assistant before, so you should know me better. What do you think are my strengths?" "Strengths?" Meijia looked as if someone had stepped on her tail, her face turned red, and she replied in a panic, "How do I know where you are?" Guan Gu thought he said nothing wrong?What about Meijia's face... "Watermelon, apple, grilled chicken wings, Oh! No!" Zhang Wei booed and took out his phone to take a picture of Meijia. "I...I'm so desperate to urinate!" Meijia found an excuse and ran away in a panic. The evidence is solid, Meijia doesn't blush when she sees Teacher Zeng, she doesn't blush when she sees Zhang Wei, but she blushes when she sees Guan Gu and Youyou.Zhang Wei was very satisfied with his deduction, and he was even more proud when he looked at the photos on his phone, and then at Meijia. Finally, the people dispersed, and they could watch TV quietly for a while, but Zhang Wei looked at her wretchedly, Meijia felt uncomfortable all over, and couldn't help yelling at him: "Hey! Have you watched enough? I Do you have money on your face?" Zhang Wei chuckled: "I don't have money, I have desires!" Meijia was almost choked by him, and became even more angry: "I sprayed you to death with a mouthful of salt soda, and you still have pimples on your face!" Zhang Wei showed her the photo on his phone. In the photo, Mika's face was as red as a cooked crayfish!According to criminal psychology, you think about it every day and dream at night.Mika’s blushing is a typical conditioned reflex, and it’s a strong self-suggestion in her subconscious, which can be covered up on the surface, but Zhang Wei went on to say: “For a reasoning expert like me, all of your things are just deception, and you can’t escape. My piercing eyes!" He told Meijia what was on his mind, so he had no choice but to scold him: "Nonsense! I must have seen him too much recently to be like this. Don't pretend to be Bao Qingtian just because you have a scar on your forehead! You bloody nigger, big briquettes !A master of reasoning, push your dung ball away!" "Do you dream of it if you see it too much?" Zhang Wei smiled maliciously, took out a photo of himself as a lawyer in a suit and handed it to Mika, "Please prove it! If you look at my... photo every day, you can also If you dream of me, then you win. If you fail, please take the initiative to surrender to my wisdom, don't deny it, you can't pretend to be blushing!" What a show!Take photos with you!Looking at Zhang Wei's photo, Meijia gritted her teeth and agreed. A few days later, Meijia really dozed off on the sofa again, dreaming.It was still the smoky room, it was still the doll fishing machine, it was still Guan Gu and her, fishing for dolls hand in hand. Seeing that the biggest and most beautiful doll was caught again, Meijia shouted excitedly: "Ah! Ah! I caught it again." Guan Gu looked at her dotingly: "Honey, why did you say 'again'? Just now you said it was the first time you played this game." Meijia replied coquettishly: "I lied to you, but I am actually an expert." "Nani?" Guan Gu seemed to have expected it a long time ago, stroking her hand ambiguously, "Then you teach me, hand in hand." Meijia suddenly remembered that the last kiss was seen by a crayfish.Her secret must have been told by that crayfish, otherwise how would Zhang Wei know? "Wait a minute." Meijia hurried to the side and dumped the plate of crayfish on the table into the trash can, now it's safe.The two approached sweetly, holding hands... Just being romantic, a huge crayfish suddenly crawled out from behind the sofa, no, it was a crayfish with a human face! "Ah! Zhang Wei!" Mika screamed in fright. As soon as he opened his eyes, Zhang Wei sat beside him, salivating and asked, "Did you dream of me?" Mika was startled again, and subconsciously moved to the side, remembering the previous agreement, and said lightly, "Yes. ! My suspicion is cleared." Then why doesn't Meijia blush when she sees herself?Listening to Mika's description, it turned out that in her dream she was just a crayfish?If you look closely, you can still vaguely recognize the human form?You're making a sci-fi movie!Wait, Meijia is not allergic to crayfish, how could she turn pale with fright when she sees a crayfish?There must be a conspiracy, and there must be ambiguities that have not been revealed! "Ah! It's Guan Gu, right?" Meijia's face turned red again, and the composure she had just now disappeared, she lowered her head and denied it: "You promised, it will be fine if you dream of you, and I didn't say anything else." "You still blushed when you dreamed of Guan Gu this time, but I'm actually a lobster. Doesn't that explain the problem?" Zhang Weiyue said more and more angrily, I am a big lawyer, and I am a shrimp in your dream?It's fine if you don't have a crush on me, and you don't have to spoil me like this, right?No, I have to give her a tough trick! "You're not afraid of Guan Gu, Yoyo knows?" Meijia really panicked, and threatened: "If you dare to tell them, you will die, stinky briquettes!" Okay, don't admit defeat and scold me! "Let's see!" Zhang Wei said and walked out.With a guilty conscience, Meijia chased after her. Half of it is friendship, half is love... Zeng Xiaoxian was flipping through extreme sports magazines boredly, humming "Dilemma".Alas, Nuolan and Yifei, how did they get into the current situation in a daze!Ordinarily, Nuolan should be regarded as love, and Yifei should be regarded as friendship, but how far is the gap between love and friendship?It was just a momentary soft-heartedness, but the friendship with Nuo Lan turned into today's love.As for Yifei, if he had been a little braver back then, would he have owned her instead of being upset about her blind date now.well! Someone knocked on the door, interrupting his cranky thoughts.When I opened the door, I saw a man with spectacles who was full of vibes, holding a handful of huge flowers, and asked with a smile on his face, "Excuse me, does Miss Hu Yifei live here?" The person who came was Billy, one of Hu Yifei's many suitors.I have had a little communication on the Internet, but I haven't met in person yet, but I have a good impression of Hu Yifei, and I think she is a very, very special woman.So, I specially booked a seat for a French dinner this day, and came to treat her to dinner. It happened that Hu Yifei was not here today, and Zeng Xiaoxian just sent him away and asked him to call the restaurant another day. "I've bought the restaurant, and it's fine another day. But the chef was specially invited from France, and I'm still waiting." Billy thought about it, took out his phone and dialed: "Hey, let the cook go back to Paris first. Wait for my notice." This posture, this style, Zeng Xiaoxian was taken aback: "This big brother, the rich second generation?" Billy smiled modestly: "I'm not, my grandpa is." Damn it, what dating site still has such high-end users?But why do high-end users take a fancy to Hu Yifei?Could it be that she is the only female user?In the past, just listening to her talk made her feel uncomfortable, but now that the suitor is standing in front of her alive, Zeng Xiaoxian is even more unhappy.no!Gotta find a way to break them up!With a certain idea, Zeng Xiaoxian laughed dryly and persuaded Billy, "Don't bother the French compatriots. Hu Yifei doesn't like blind dates and always eats, it's boring." "Then I can watch a movie with her. I'll go to Buyer Cinema right away." Billy obviously misunderstood what he meant, and immediately started calling again. Zeng Xiaoxian persuaded again: "Big brother, no, big brother! It's useless for you to buy a theater chain, it's not worth it." Who would have thought that Billy would fall in love with Yifei with all his heart, thinking that she was very appetizing, no matter how much money he spent. value.Money, money, money again, is it amazing to be rich?When dating a girl, you have to be special. Does spending money count as a special feature?Of course, spending like him should be considered "ruthless" and distinctive. "Yifei is special, she...sees sincerity." Zeng Xiaoxian pondered, procrastinating to think of a solution, and happened to find a photo of bungee jumping in the magazine in his hand, and immediately continued happily, "For example, bungee jumping is good, dare you? " Billy looked embarrassed, this... looked really taken aback.Zeng Xiaoxian's heart was more than half relaxed, and he was still embellishing: "Don't dare? How can it be considered sincerity? Yifei likes to take risks the most. If the date is not life-threatening, she will feel uncomfortable. How? Do you still think she is special? "It is said that if the IQ exceeds 120, it is easy to deal with the rich and handsome.Jump, you dance, blend into the blue sky, hahahaha!Zeng Xiaoxian couldn't help laughing smugly. Who knows that the world is unpredictable, and the careless Billy is not only rich, but also courageous, so he really invites Yifei to go bungee jumping.With Yifei's personality, of course he had a lot of fun!Billy not only took a group photo, but also held Yifei's little hand, and sent out the group photo and the story of dating Yifei as soon as he got married.This time, there was an uproar on Hu Yifei's blind date forum.Yes, you heard that right, because there are so many suitors, Blind Date.com specially set up a suitor forum for Hu Yifei, for everyone to understand Yifei's hobbies and interests, communicate and exchange, it is very popular!I have always heard that Yifei is an iceberg beauty, and many people can't even get an appointment, let alone take advantage of the beauty, but now Billy is able to win a confidant smile and make the iceberg start to melt. Obviously, there are experts behind him. !But who would have thought that the expert Zeng Xiaoxian originally wanted Billy to retreat in the face of difficulties so that they could be separated? One day Zeng Xiaoxian was chatting at the bar, the waiter came over and said that there were some guests at the door who wanted to invite him to have a drink, and three men in suits raised their glasses as a gesture of gesture.But you don't know them?After hesitating for a moment, the stinky Zeng Xiaoxian immediately found a reason for himself, fans must be fans, it is definitely possible!So Shi Shiran walked over. Who knew it was Yifei's suitor again, this time there was not just one, but three!Azhi, Ahao, and Ade all saw Hu Yifei on a dating website, and they were very interested in Yifei, but she didn't seem to accept their sincerity, and asked her out for dinner several times and refused to show respect.Later, Billy posted a photo of him and Yifei, and the three people got together. They wondered how Billy could come up with such a good idea of ​​bungee jumping, so they were cruel, and asked Billy with 20 gold coins. Only then did I get the address of an expert, and I came here especially for the name. Zeng Xiaoxian curled his lips: "Aren't they all tall, handsome and rich, and 20 forum coins are still used?" "Ours are real gold coins." Ahao said shyly, as if having money is such a shameful thing.Embarrassed, Zeng Xiaoxian quickly turned his face away, pretending to say hello to an acquaintance. Azhi asked: "May I ask, what is your relationship with Yifei? How do you know her so well?" "Me?" Zeng Xiaoxian waved his arms excitedly, but he kept making gestures, but he really didn't know the relationship between him and Yifei, lover?Obviously not.friend?Even more wrong.With the current situation, he has nothing to do with Hu Yifei at all.The result of the analysis was so bleak, Zeng Xiaoxian was stunned for a long time before he came back to his senses, Lang smiled and said: "That's because I am a host of an emotional show. I understand girls' thoughts best." The three of them couldn't guess what he was thinking, and they admired him so much that they all bowed to Zeng Xiaoxian: "Then please teach us how to date Yifei! Please!" Zeng Xiaoxian declined: "No, no...this..." The three of them said in unison again: "We give 50 gold coins!" 50 gold coins!Pure gold!Zeng Xiaoxian seemed to see the money floating in the sky, and forgot how to refuse. Once spread to ten, ten to hundreds, Zeng Xiaoxian soon became the sweet potato in the hands of many suitors of a Philippine. I just hope that Zeng Dagao can give me some advice, so that I can kiss Fangze. Ziqiao was puzzled, is Zeng Xiaoxian good at chasing Yifei?The TV series has been on for four seasons, and Zeng Xiaoxian has never even made a decent confession to Yifei, instead he went off track and chased after Nuolan, what can he teach him?Maybe successful people are too busy to have time to fall in love, so Zeng Xiaoxian said a few nonsense, and a group of out-of-stocks took it seriously. With a good deal in front of him, Ziqiao decided to deeply develop Yifei's residual value and hold classes for suitors once a week at a reasonable fee.In view of the devotion and respect everyone has for Zeng Xiaoxian, he is the one who should give the lecturer. "Me?!" Zeng Xiaoxian was taken aback by Qiao Hongwei's plan, "I have nothing to teach them, nor am I interested in teaching them!" Zi Qiao tried on a new suit, looking around she was very handsome, she didn't take Zeng Xiaoxian's refusal seriously, and said casually: "Since you are so determined, I can only tell them, I, Teacher Lu, teach in person." Zeng Xiaoxian pissed him off: "Why do you teach? You never chased Yifei!" Ziqiao glanced at him disdainfully: "You're not the only one who knows Yifei, and this is my specialty." Don't be afraid of being tall, rich, handsome and rich, but afraid of being tall, rich, handsome and smart!Lu Ziqiao went to teach, so what? !Professor Zeng weighed the pros and cons, and finally realized that whoever will go to hell will go to hell if I don't, and I will fight for Yifei not to be chased away! Under the care of his elder brother Du Jun, Guan Gu finally found a somewhat reasonable part-time job, helping police comrades draw portraits of suspects.Of course, it's just a small police station, and the suspect's target is definitely not some gangster who murders and steals money. He just helps to draw a thief, pervert or something to help maintain law and order in the area.Being able to serve the community and have a little relationship with his major, Guan Gu is already very satisfied. When the work started, Guan Gu was sitting upright with a sketchpad in his hands. Du Jun saw his serious look and couldn't help but sneered.Guan Gu thought that he had done something wrong to make the big brother look down on him, until he met the first person who reported the crime. The first person to make a statement was a young girl.It is said that on the bus, a thief has been trying to trick her. "I remember he was wearing a gold Rolex watch from the Greenwich Oyster Perpetual series. His belt was Hermès' lychee pattern 3.8 general purpose. The shoes were just average, Gucci's 2006 old model." Xiao Meimei observed carefully enough, so let's talk about the suspect's appearance. "Appearance? How can I remember that!" The girl shook her head blankly, "Oh, yes, the ring on his left middle finger is from the Cartier Trinity three-color gold series." Guan Gu widened his eyes and asked: "That man is so rich, are you sure he is a thief?" The girl nodded very positively: "Of course! From the moment he got in the car, he rubbed against my back! He must be trying to steal my bag, so I hugged it desperately, and he could only rub against my legs. For more than an hour, I didn't let go of him until he was out of breath!" Guan Gu and Du Jun looked at each other, deeply worried about Meimei's IQ, but what to paint after worrying?Is it a Rolex gold watch, or a Hermès belt?Guan Gu's hand holding the paintbrush froze. The second is a Korean man.As soon as he came in, he beat his chest and stamped his feet, danced and slapped out Korean words: "My car was broken into, and my computer was lost. Sir, you must help me catch the thief and get the computer back. The photos inside are very important to me. If it leaks out, the consequences will be unimaginable, and my girlfriend will definitely hate me..." "Sir, please speak Mandarin?" Guan Gu reminded him politely. "I speak Korean Mandarin. What should I do? I'm so anxious! I feel like I'm going to explode!" The Korean male contestant drew an explosion gesture. Du Jun immediately understood and told Guan Gu that he seemed to say that the suspect was an explosion. head.Still gesturing to confirm with others, right, Smecta? The man nodded again and again: "Yes, it's the feeling of going to explode, Smecta, I have been with my girlfriend for five years, and I have survived the car accident, amnesia and leukemia. You must help me this time..." I can help you, but I watched a whole episode of the Korean drama, and the suspect didn't show up, Brother Smecta?Guan Gu turned the pen holder boredly, but still couldn't write. The third place is a hawker who sells chicken in the vegetable market.This is good, I don't speak a foreign language, but... a gorgeous local dialect!Of course, for Guan Gu, who has lived in China for several years, language communication is not a problem, so please describe what happened carefully and specifically. "I was selling chickens at the vegetable market this morning. A Korean man was chasing a thief and passing by. I went to watch the excitement. When I came back, I found that one chicken was missing! The one I lost was silky chicken, an authentic domestic chicken, 38 It walks like this.” The peddler’s description was really specific, he clucked like a hen and walked like a hen at the same time... Seeing Guan Gu stunned, the peddler urged: "Hey? Why don't you draw?" Uncle, do you want us to draw a thief or your silky chicken? Thankfully, the fourth is finally here.As soon as the aunt came up, she went straight to the topic: "The guy who cheated me of money looks very special - triangular eyes and beard, protruding ears and sausage mouth, oh, and there is such a long scar on his face, it's scary! " With such a scary appearance, how can he still deceive people?Guan Gu's brain is a bit insufficient, and he still can't draw.Du Jun reminded from the side: "Let's draw. All the handsome ones are going to act in idol dramas, and who will be a liar!" Combining all kinds of confessions, Guan Gu finally drew an ugly monster with an afro head, triangular eyes, beard, protruding ears, sausage mouth, and a huge knife scar.Du Jun comforted him, although there were some obstacles, it was also rewarding.But Guan Gu's heart, eager to serve the people and uphold justice, suddenly fell to the bottom. After being completely disappointed with the big brother, Guan Gu moved to 58.com again. I really thought that "Yang Mi" had done a few advertisements, and that's where the job was found?In addition to the full screen of online part-time jobs and Taobao stores, there is only one left: extras - Japanese soldiers, daily salary, settlement on the day, and box lunch. Youyou doesn't understand, Guan Gu is now in a hurry to go to the doctor, even willing to be an actor, why is he not willing to be an art teacher? Guan Gu's explanation is, "I don't want to teach, I was born for creation." But go to the crew to play tricks, does this have something to do with creation?Guan Gu said again, "It doesn't matter much, but at least it won't be so uncomfortable if you change your line of work." Looking into it carefully, the reason why Guan Gu rejects becoming an art teacher is because he equates being a teacher with the failure of his own comic business. A profession related to art, but it feels like it has dropped several grades. Youyou saw through his mind, sat next to him, smiled and enlightened him: "Guan Gu, it's nothing, just look around and say I'm fine, I was born for acting, the result is; A TV presenter, now; and Zhang Wei, just meet any opponent, sharpen his head and insist on becoming a lawyer. Everyone has ideals and pursuits, but no one can reach the sky in one step, and they have to take their time. Sometimes A compromise does not mean failure, maybe an opportunity is just around the corner.” Guan Gu was a little moved by her words, and asked hesitantly: "Do you really think I should be a teacher?" Youyou nodded and encouraged him: "Try it, at least being a teacher will not affect your health, dignity, or IQ, and it's very meaningful." Guan Gu shook his head, and sighed again: "I don't want to hurt anyone. I studied painting for so long, and now I'm still looking for a part-time job." "But those children you teach may be luckier than you. They will meet a more responsible and far-sighted teacher. Teacher Guan Gu will definitely not let this kind of embarrassment happen again!" Youyou smiled, looking at the little girl in front of her. A man who is at a loss like a child, "If your students will succeed in their studies in the future and don't need to find a part-time job, wouldn't that be the greatest success for you?" Teacher Guan Gu, this title sounds pretty good.Coupled with the scene painted by Yoyo, Guan Gu suddenly felt that his image was much taller.Just as he was thinking, Zhang Wei and Meijia ran in noisyly back and forth. "I said it!" "Say it!" "I really said it!" "Say it if you have the ability!" The two chattered, not knowing what they were arguing about. Zhang Wei cleared his throat and announced with a smirk on his face, "You two, I have important news to tell you!" "Shut up, you big briquette!" Mika, who was fearless just now, suddenly rushed forward, tightly covered Zhang Wei's mouth, and explained to Guan Gu and Yoyo: "He has bad breath, it's time to rinse his mouth!" Guan Gu said happily: "Actually, I also have important news to tell you, I plan to become an art teacher!" Meijia was happy for him, congratulations to him for finally figuring it out, and some vague voices leaked from Zhang Wei's covered mouth, which was incomprehensible. "I'm going to apply for the job tomorrow, wish me success!" After saying that, Guan Gu went over to hug the two of them.Meijia dodged in embarrassment, and continued to cover Zhang Wei's mouth to prevent him from speaking: "Don't come here! As long as you have Yoyo's support, I... just came to find Zhang Wei." Youyou felt strange, and asked her what was wrong, Zhang Wei pushed Mika's hand away vigorously, and shouted triumphantly: "I know!" "I said it myself!" Meijia rushed ahead of him, lowered her head, as if confessing, "I... I had a dream. Yoyo, I was wrong, I dreamed about Guan Gu. In the dream, Guan Gu and I Alone... playing with the claw machine, very intimate, and was seen by a crayfish... twice." "The second lobster is actually me!" Zhang Wei interjected uncontrollably. "Don't worry, Yoyo, I won't destroy your relationship. I..." Meijia pursed her lips, so anxious that tears were about to fall.Youyou thought it was funny, and comforted her softly: "Meijia, it's just a dream, it doesn't mean you have anything to do with Guan Gu. Maybe, what you fell in love with is claw machine fishing, or crayfish. Didn't these happen several times? It's also possible that you were just moved by the picture we described that day, and you also long for this kind of intimate feeling of love?" "I got it, I got it!" Zhang Wei couldn't help interjecting meanly again, "You mean, Mika has been single for too long, she's hungry?!" Of course, before she finished speaking, Mika pinched her again and again. screw. "Let's do an experiment. At this very moment, are you calling Guan Gu?" Yoyo pointed at Guan Gu, who looked like a slovenly homeboy.Meijia took a closer look and shook her head decisively.Yoyo smiled and concluded: "Then it's all right!" 美嘉兴奋得跳起来，连日来的愧疚自责一扫而空：“太好了，我没有爱上关谷！” “喂！不公平，我去换件衣服。”死脑筋的关谷想要挣回点儿面子，被悠悠狠狠瞪了一眼，嘻嘻笑着安慰美嘉：“你没事，只是发春，不对发情，不对发浪……我的意思是，你该找个男人谈恋爱了。” “男人？哎，我也是男人啊。”张伟挺起胸膛，极力想让自己的形象变得伟岸一点。美嘉瞥了他一眼，冷冷地评价：“你不是，小龙虾！” 《约会胡一菲基础导论》第一讲，来了14个同学，小贤上课，子乔助教，看上去煞有其事。 “众所周知，胡一菲，属狗，狮子座女博士，是一个复杂而少见的生物。她内心深处究竟需要什么？——这是门科学。”刚说两句，台下众小开就唰唰唰拼命做笔记；还有人高喊，老师的开场白说得太好了！曾小贤呆了一会儿，说这些都有人听？你们这群富二代才真是濒临绝种的高危生物吧！但有人夸嘛，总归自我感觉还是不错的，臭美的他很快开始有了点儿“叫兽”的感觉。 “行！今天我们就来解读一下胡一菲的各种表情。”曾小贤对子乔示意，子乔打开PPT文档的第一张——胡一菲各种表情组成的照片墙，面对女神的各种风范，众人自然惊叹不已，学习劲头更加十足。“所有的表情中，笑容是最常见也是最有内涵的一种。只要能读懂一菲的各种笑容，就能在约会中掌握主动。” 第一张！平日里朝夕相对，猛然看见一菲被放大N倍的高清照片，曾小贤的心里不由得咯噔了一下。纤细柔美的眉毛，观之温柔可亲的双眸，鼻梁挺直却又带点儿俏皮的圆润，花朵般润泽美好的双唇，标准的尖下巴瓜子脸，脸上一点小肉肉，多一点嫌胖，少一点嫌层次感不够，就这样刚刚好的弧线，才使整个脸面都变得生动自然。 “她看上去很开心啊！”有位同学评价。曾小贤回过神来，舔舔嘴唇：“错！乍看她是笑得很开心，但请仔细观察，她嘴角的线条有点儿生硬，眼神也不够灵活，这是典型的强颜欢笑！说明你的话题她一点都不感兴趣，只是礼貌地配合一下，建议你最好换个话题。” 哇嗷，中国版的Cal Lightman教授啊！同学们对曾教授的景仰，顿时如滔滔江水，泛滥成一页又一页的笔记，生怕漏掉一个字的精彩。 第二张，开怀大笑，这张就一定是开心了！女孩子讲究笑不露齿，一菲张嘴大笑，简直有点儿忘形嘛！“又错！请注意，这次一菲笑起来是闭着眼睛的，但我们可以推断，如果现在她的眼睛是睁开的，视线的方向是朝上，也就是说，她根本没有看着你。或者我们可以理解为，这是她闭着眼睛冲你翻了个白眼。这是讽刺的嘲笑！往往会伴随着尖厉的拖长音并且用鼻孔看着你。千万别得意，因为下一句话她会损得你欲哭无泪。” 想起一菲平日对自己冷嘲热讽的样子，曾小贤不自觉地嘴角扭曲了一下，边上的子乔突然哈哈哈哈笑个不停。曾小贤没好气地冲他一吼：“课堂纪律！下一张！” 第三张，笑不露齿，看上去像在打哈欠。“如果你觉得这是该送她回家的信号，那你就真的可以回家了。胡一菲是什么？狮子座！女王！女王不会掩饰她对你的嘲讽、不满、生气，但是，她不喜欢在别人面前暴露自己的真实想法，这就是她为什么此时会捂着嘴的原因。但我们从她的眼睛与眉毛看，没有任何夸张，说明她目前处于完全放松的状态，而且目光柔和，这是一种接受的信号。唯独只有这个情况是她真的在笑。如果看到这个场面，恭喜，你逗乐她了。” “Yes！”台下的阿豪突然激动地喊了一声，压低声音但还是很得瑟地跟同桌说：“上次我请一菲吃饭，她这个动作保持了很久。我有戏了。” 子乔冷笑：“那是因为这位同学你有狐臭，下一张！” 第四张，冷冷微笑，照片里的一菲高贵冷艳，完全是女神范儿！但是千万别忽略了一个很重要的细节，魔鬼藏在细节之中，她的手指在用力，手里的勺子已经被拧弯了。“仔细看她的眼神，是不是保持在一个方向？但她这个眼神并不是之前我们所说的敷衍无聊时候的呆板，而是她体内的警报装置开始锁定目标的信号！当然，当一菲手上的某样东西发生形变的时候，表情已经不再重要，说明你闯祸了。然后，两秒之后，你就会看到如下画面。” 子乔翻页，不小心放出一张大胸美女，台下一片哗然，曾小贤都给呛得咳起来。咚咚咚，连切三张照片，一菲杏眼圆睁，双眉倒竖，握拳，咬牙，完全是一触即发的攻击状态。 “当你看到以下表情的时候——”曾小贤语重心长地叮嘱，“跑！赶紧跑！千万不要——回头拍照！”众人吓得一起哆嗦，哆嗦完了狂记笔记。 在曾小贤和吕子乔的培训之下，一菲的相亲活动越来越和谐，那些追她的男生好像突然开窍了，似乎一夜之间都变得懂人事了。话题不干了，约会不闷了。渴了还没伸手，水就递到了；困了还没哈欠，就送她回家了。所以，一菲的心情也越来越好，满世界的阳光明媚、风和日丽。 “难道是老天在暗示我？你说，我是不是该考虑选一个正式交往一下了？”闲聊的时候，一菲问曾小贤的意见。 曾小贤实在想不出什么理由来阻止她，干着急，只能敷衍说：“别那么冲动，再看看嘛。” 这算是一种挽留吗？一菲心里动了一下，但一想起诺澜，顿时又没了勇气，勉强地笑了笑，假装大方地说：“差不多啦，既然这些家伙硬件软件都不错，我也不能老吊着他们，也算了了诺澜的一件心事。” 曾小贤想不通。诺澜？她能有什么心事？一菲看着他，心里叹了口气，自己怎么会喜欢上这么个傻货！淡淡地留下一句：“你不懂的。” 一菲刚转身离开，曾小贤就心急火燎地去找吕子乔算账，要不是他出的办培训班这馊主意，那些追求者怎么可能近得了她的身？现在一菲说要在三天内，随便挑一个应征者做男朋友，简直太草率了！他就草率过，看看现在这日子过的！憋屈，太憋屈！ “挺好啊，你教完基础课，就可以开实践课了，他们交往得越久，我们不愁吃喝的时间就越长！”吕子乔毫不在意，“要不本着对朋友负责的精神，我们把随堂测验的成绩提供给一菲，让她的选择有个参考？” 曾小贤愕然：“我们什么时候有过随堂测验？” 子乔笑道：“我好歹是个助教呀？你下课之后啊，我都会把他们留下来，验收一下听课效果，有几个比较拔尖的。” 曾小贤气急败坏：“这能算吗？他们根本就是作弊，要不是我告诉他们那些窍门，他们能近得了一菲三尺以内？！” “这不是我们的办学宗旨吗？礼也是你收的，PPT也是你做的，现在才想要后悔了？”子乔拍拍他的肩膀，劝道，“曾老师，你对诺澜负责就行了，一菲挑一菲的男人，你赚你的外快。用得着那么激动吗？” “谁……谁说我激动了？！”曾小贤自作自受，气得眼神散乱，两撇眉毛乱抖。 事到如今，只有将敌人阻截在封锁线以外，具体做法就是跟同学们讲讲约会胡一菲的危害，吓都能吓死那帮没见过世面的！ “大家都知道，胡一菲，女博士、跆拳道黑带、网球高手。这一系列的称号难道是巧合吗？绝对不是！一菲脾气诡异，喜怒无常，有极强的好胜心，如果你败给她，她会嫌你没用；如果你赢了她，那她就会跟你三局两胜、五局三胜、七局四胜，直到她把你打败，然后……嫌你没用！” “当然，作为女人，总会有失落脆弱的时候。她有时候也会很迷糊，一旦有挫败感，她就会找地方把自己藏起来。如果你找不到她，你会很担心；如果你找到她，你会更担心——因为她往往会用跟你比赛的方式来撒气，至于比赛的结果，请参见上一条。” “最后，也是最重要的一点，如果你们之中真有人不幸和她交往了，千万别牵她的手。因为她会忍术——弹一闪。” 怎么老师分析的技术指标风向突然变了啊？同学们哗然，交头接耳起来。 阿德举手问：“老师，不牵手怎么算交往？” 曾小贤严肃地反问：“交往重要还是命重要？” 比利发言：“蹦极的时候，我牵过一次她的手，没那么吓人啊？” 曾小贤愣住，台下的同学马上开始围攻，“老师，您有没有牵过她的手？”“老师，为什么今天您总是说小菲菲的坏话？” “小菲菲？是你叫的吗！”曾小贤烦躁莫名。比利无辜地回答：“不是您自己说的，她不开心的时候，就该这么叫她吗？” “你你你你……你给我站起来！”曾小贤明显又开始激动了，点人的时候手指一抖，站起来五个学员。烦躁地按下去四个，单问比利：“随堂测验！为毛一菲姓胡，他弟弟展博却姓陆？” 比利自信地说：“因为他们是重组家庭。”子乔在一边颔首点头，回答正确！ 曾小贤再问：“一菲最不擅长却又最爱做的事是什么？” “做蛋糕，还有菲克力。”回答又正确！ “解释一下为什么她会考到博士？” “因为彪悍的人生不解释。”比利昂首回答，神气里都带着点儿一菲彪悍的味道，必须正确！ 曾小贤有点儿词穷了，抛出撒手锏：“一菲最大的理想是什么？那是个怎样的男人？” “她最大的理想就是有个男人告诉她她真正的理想是什么！那个男人要么比她聪明，要么比她强壮，否则凭什么征服她？”说到high处，比利握紧双拳给自己加油，“我会努力的！” 回答正确！子乔衷心地给他比画了个赞。 不是我方没努力，实在是敌人太过强悍啊！曾小贤喘了口气，灰心地说：“看来，我已经没什么可以再教你们了。从今天起，你们都毕业了，各自上路吧。记住，好好善待一菲。” “我有问题！”突然，一菲出现在曾小贤身后。曾小贤闻声回头一看，吓得脸色都变了。子乔凑过来，见气势不对赶紧闪到一边。 “老师说过，出现这个表情的时候，应该……”阿德提醒大家，所有人大喊“跑啊”，纷纷作鸟兽散，满教室的人只剩下稀稀拉拉几个。比利只觉得自己双腿发软，实在迈不动步子，索性站定。原来都是缺心眼的比利，问同学要不要抄笔记，群发短信的时候发错人，发给了胡一菲。 “你们两个是不是无聊成化石了，居然在这里培训？！”一菲冷冰冰地扫视全场，居然发现角落里还有个女生：“这个女的是谁？她也是来跟我相亲的？” 阿豪呵呵地笑着解释：“她是我女朋友，来旁听的。” “女朋友？”曾小贤真是被他们的智商惊到了。 “我本来是没女朋友的，但是来上了两节课之后，发现我估计没戏了，就找了个女朋友。”阿豪不好意思地点点头，“钱都花了，总得把证书拿到吧。” “都——给——我——滚！”一菲咬着牙，一字一顿地下逐客令。子乔和其余人等趁机都跑了出去，只剩下呆呆的曾小贤和那个跑不动的比利。 看着一菲怒气冲天的样子，曾小贤低声说：“是你自己抱怨说这些人没创意的。” “关你屁事，要你多此一举帮我推销，你那么希望我赶紧找个男朋友吗？”一菲毫不客气地呸他一脸。 “他是个好老师。”比利不识趣地插嘴。 “谁在说话？”一菲只把他当空气。 “放心，我会搞定的。”比利对曾小贤挤了个眼，觍着脸叫一菲：“——菲菲，小菲菲，菲菲菲菲菲……” 一菲回头，眼睛放出射线，比利瞬间灰飞烟灭，曾小贤不忍地捂住了眼睛。 “姓曾的！中国那么多兵器你不学，偏学剑，上剑不练练下剑，铁剑不练练银剑！恭喜，你终于达到人剑合一的境界——剑人。我跟你还没有熟到允许你在外人面前拿我的隐私臭显摆，更没有熟到你可以随便说我的坏话！最幼稚无聊脑残的不是他们，是你！别以为你很了解我，你差得远了，你是我谁啊！”一菲长篇大论说完，觉得心都要空了，盯着他的眼睛开始有点儿发酸。曾小贤，你伤我还不够吗？ “从今天开始，我们绝交！”一菲迟缓而坚定地下了最后通牒，一摔门走了。空荡荡的教室里只剩下曾小贤呆立在原地，一菲伤心的眼神像在他心上插了一把刀，一点儿一点儿越疼越深。 夜深了，张伟裹在被子里，眼珠转动，笑得很暧昧，显然是做梦了。 梦里烟雾围绕，屋子中间摆着一台神奇的钓娃娃机！“啊！啊！Yes！”又抓到一只娃娃，张伟兴奋地大叫。关谷凝视着他，脸上露出宠溺的微笑：“斯过意！你真是天才！” 张伟娇嗔地瞟了他一眼：“是你教得好。” 关谷的眼神更热烈了：“不，是你冰雪聪明。” 张伟歪着头卖萌：“那我们再钓一个……我要那个小龙虾！” “没问题！”关谷靠近，握住张伟的双手，张伟微微仰起头，眼神里尽是幸福和满足…… 梦做到一半，张伟突然惊醒，回想起梦中的场景，不禁瞪大眼睛，绝望地低吼：“Oh，No……”