Chapter 12 Twelfth Spring Water Li Ying

The land is flat and there are no graves.The old man asked someone to move a bed of chrysanthemums here, and he buried the first one with his own hands. He knew that the chrysanthemums must bloom more colorfully in this field than in other places.Because the land is very fat. When the chrysanthemums were planted, the old man had a smile on his face, but his heart was cramping. His only son, his most faithful friend, are buried in this ground, and though their bodies will decay soon, their souls will rest forever. The old man didn't want anyone to bother them anymore, so he didn't let anyone know where they were buried.

In the future, when the chrysanthemums are in full bloom, many people will surely praise this bright land, but no one will ever know what power makes this flower so bright. There will never be anyone else, only the old man himself.Only he knows that he has given the life of his own son to this soil. He wanted his son's life to merge with the earth. Twilight has just fallen, and the flower growers have all left. Until then, the old man's tears flowed. Sun Jian, Han Tang, Wen Hu, Wen Bao, Wu Laodao—and countless other loyal people. These people are not only his subordinates, but also his friends.

After they died, he realized how lonely he was, and only then did he realize that he was getting old. But apart from himself, no one else will know his feelings, never! When the meteor pierced the darkness, Meng Xinghun was under the starry sky. He saw the shooting star flash and see the shooting star disappear. He asked himself: "Is the life of some people the same as that of a shooting star?" Butterflies live only in spring forever. Spring is fleeting, but it will come again. As long as you are alive, there will be spring. The butterfly was dead, three months at least, but the colors on its wings were almost as bright as they were in life.

Butterfly is caught in a collection of words written by Empress Li.Although the pair of beautiful colorful wings have been clamped to be as thin as transparent, every part of the body is still intact, so it still looks lifelike, as if it may spread its wings at any time and ride the wind away. She opened the dictionary and saw this butterfly.That page happened to be one of her favorite words. "Lin Hua thanked Chun Hong too hastily..." The flowers will bloom again when they are gone, and they will come again after spring. But what about the butterfly? "Lin Hua thanked Chun Hong too hastily..."

This poem is almost as beautiful as a butterfly, enough to be passed down through the ages and immortalized forever. But what about the person who wrote the lyrics? Is the life of the person who wrote the lyrics the same as that of a butterfly? If people are too sentimental, will they become like butterflies? Passionate people are always particularly easy to be tortured, and passionate people always suffer more. The life of a lover is always more fragile and short! "Miss, the water is ready." Her girl Lan Lan hurried in.Seeing the butterfly in her hand, a pair of dimples appeared on her apple-like face, and she said sweetly, "Miss, do you think this butterfly is beautiful?"

She raised her head and said, "Did you catch this butterfly?" Lan Lan said: "Well, I caught it for a long time, and finally caught it. Fortunately, I didn't break its wings." She sighed softly, and said, "Although you didn't break its wings, you killed it. Don't you feel bad?" Lan Lan laughed and said, "The butterfly will die soon anyway." She interrupted her and said: "People will die soon anyway, right?" Lan Lan said: "But...but..." She frowned and said, "But what? Has the butterfly ever hurt you?" Lan Lan said: "No."

She added, "Has the butterfly ever hurt anything?" Lan Lan said: "No." She sighed again: "then why did you hurt it?" She always doesn't understand why people are so cruel to butterflies? People hunt and kill wild animals for the sake of wild animals to hurt people. People enslave cattle and horses, and cook cattle and sheep, because these domestic animals are raised by people. However, the butterfly - it is so kind and innocent, it spreads pollen for the beauty of the world, but it does not want people to repay it. Why do people still insist on being so cruel to it?

Lan Lan bit her lip, thought for a while, then lowered her head and said, "I went to catch it just because it's beautiful..." Is "beauty" also a kind of evil? Why is the more beautiful life more vulnerable to harm? Lan Lan said again: "I actually don't want to hurt it." She sighed and said, "Although you don't want to hurt it, it is already dead in your hands." Lan Lan pursed her lips and said, "But it is still as beautiful now as it was when it was alive. If I hadn't caught it, it might have died in the gutter now, or it might have been eaten into the stomach of a spider."

She froze, speechless. She had to admit that Lan Lan's words made sense. Although the butterfly is dead, its beauty has been preserved and appreciated. Its life has value. As with butterflies, so with humans. It doesn't matter whether a person is dead or alive, what matters is whether his life has value? "Death can be as light as a feather or as heavy as Mount Tai", isn't that what it means? Lan Lan said: "Miss, the water is getting cold, go wash it quickly! Don't you have to go out tonight?" She nodded, and gently clamped the butterfly back into the book.

Although the person who wrote the lyrics is dead, these words are immortal, so his person is also immortal. Although he is dead, he is worth more than many living people. What does it matter if he dies? The water is not cold, but night has enveloped the earth. The appointment time is over. She was not in a hurry, and lay lazily in the warm water.She knew that the person who asked her out would definitely wait. Besides, it doesn't matter if he waits or not. Although he is very young and handsome, especially when he is wearing that big red cloak, he looks like a jade tree facing the wind, which is enough to fascinate many girls.Although he is considerate and obedient to her, treats her like a fairy, and does everything possible to please her.

But she didn't care about him. She doesn't care about anyone, she doesn't care about anything. Sometimes when she thinks about it, she feels terrible. Maybe it was because she didn't care about him at all that he was so devoted to her! If she really fell in love with him and married him, maybe he wouldn't care anymore. People are such strange animals. They don't know how to cherish what they have got, and when they lose it, they often regret and suffer. People, why do you always like to torture yourself? She seldom thinks about this kind of thing now, maybe because she has seen life too thoroughly, so she is tired of everything. She is still young, she shouldn't have seen life so thoroughly, she shouldn't have been so bored. Many of the people surrounding her were older than her, but they were interested in everything!Even the little things will make them laugh. Sometimes she simply finds them childish and boring. Looking at the clear water waves, she suddenly thought of the young man sitting by the stream that day. A young man with melancholy and pain in his eyes. He is still young, but he seems to be more tired of life than she is. Why? She sighed softly, and murmured: "Maybe I should let him die. Because I can't give him happiness..." Lan Lan walked in with her head bowed, handed over a clean silk scarf, and smiled apologetically, "Miss, wash your face! The playboy must be going crazy waiting." She said lightly: "Let him wait, make him crazy." Lan Lan blinked and said, "Miss, don't you like him at all?" She shook her head. Lan Lan said: "Then why does Miss always hang out with him recently?" She stared at the water waves, and said slowly: "Maybe it's just because no one came to ask me out." The dandy stood under the tree in a scarlet cloak. A crescent moon hangs over the treetops. "It's late at night, why hasn't she come?" The playboy was indeed waiting like crazy, and he wished he could rush to her house to ask her immediately. But he dare not. He dared not do anything that might upset her. Sometimes he would be angry for himself, so angry that he was a good person, why should he be bullied by her like this. He even cursed many times, and after cursing, he would never look for her again. But he can't. His person is like being tied by an invisible rope, pulling him to find her. As soon as he saw her, his heart was filled with tenderness and sweetness, and his anger had long since disappeared.Suddenly, a figure stepped out of the darkness. Playboy's heart was beating: "Here she is!" no. The man was staggering, he seemed to be a drunk, and the hat on his head was tilted down, covering most of his face.There was a burst of alcohol smell from a distance. The playboy frowned. When he didn't drink himself, he always hated drunk people.When he himself was drunk, he thought he was bold and cute. He hoped that the drunk would walk over quickly, but the drunk walked towards him and suddenly said, "Are you waiting for someone?" Playboy raised his head and ignored it at all. The drunk man murmured: "I have waited for people before, but I will only wait for people who are worth waiting for. What about yours?" Hua Gongzi said coldly: "You don't care." The drunk smiled and said, "Of course I don't care, but if you are waiting for a bitch, it would be too wronged." Hua Gongzi grabbed his skirt and said angrily, "What did you say?" The drunk said: "Aren't you waiting for a bitch? Could it be a queen?" Young Master Hua said, "So what?" The drunk smiled again and said, "She may be your queen, but she is my whore." Hua Gongzi swung his fist furiously, before the fist hit him in the face, he suddenly noticed that the drunk man's eyes were as sharp as knives, and he was not at all drunk. The drunk looked at him coldly, there seemed to be a hint of mockery in his piercing eyes. Hua Gongzi's heart skipped a beat, and he said, "Do you know who I'm waiting for?" The drunk said: "You are waiting for Xiaodie, aren't you?" Hua Gongzi moved his face and said, "Do you recognize her?" The drunk man nodded and said, "How could I not recognize her, she is both your queen and my bitch." The young man couldn't bear his anger any longer, he punched out again, and when he first touched the drunk man, he suddenly felt a sharp pain in his stomach, as if a sharp needle had pierced him straight in. He bent over in pain, and the drunk's knee hit his face.He only felt a piece of gold star appearing in front of his eyes, and he fell on his back, the blood from his nose was redder than the cloak he was wearing. The drunk man looked down at him and murmured: "It's strange, although this man's nose is crooked, it's still not too ugly." The Playboy gasped, trying to jump up. But the drunk's feet have come flying.He only felt a sharp pain in his waist, his face and facial features seemed to have been deformed, and his mouth was full of broken teeth. The drunk man nodded slowly, and said, "This is better, but I can still make you better." The young man was no longer angry, only fearful, and said in a trembling voice, "You...why did you deal with me?" The drunk said flatly: "Because she is my bitch, my own bitch, not yours." Fluttershy stood there, facing the darkness.The red cloak she was wearing had turned dark purple in the dark, a kind of dark purple when blood clots. There was a mess on the ground, and now she no longer vomited. Now she was no longer even afraid, no longer angry, but she couldn't help thinking, so she couldn't help but be sad! "He's a kid, what did he do wrong?" A healthy boy falls in love with a beautiful girl, no one can say he is wrong. But now he was hanging from a tree like a wild dog—a wild dog that had been clubbed to death. What did he do wrong?The only thing he did wrong was falling in love with someone who shouldn't and couldn't love. "I should have told him a long time ago that I am not his object, and I should have known that there would be such consequences." Xiaodie closed her eyes and suddenly remembered what happened many years ago. At that time, she may be a child, or she may have grown from a child to a woman, full of beautiful longings for life and love. It was spring and the flowers were in full bloom.Her person is like a flower, which is bright and fragrant by the spring breeze. There must be nostalgia for butterflies on the blooming petals. What about flowery girls? She suddenly found a young man watching her, and she could feel his bright eyes staring at her anytime and anywhere. This young man may be silent or shy, but in his eyes, there is a fiery passion, which is worth a thousand words. She also liked the boy very much and was willing to get close to him. As long as they are given a chance, they will definitely fall in love from acquaintance. It's a pity they didn't have the chance. As soon as they met, he suddenly disappeared. Since then, she has never seen him again. She was very strange at first, and couldn't figure out why he suddenly avoided seeing each other. After a long time, she gradually realized that whoever fell in love with her would soon "disappear". Of course she already knew who did it. This person has taken her as his own, and will never allow anyone else to touch her finger. At the beginning, she was not only frightened and angry, she was so angry that she could hardly bear to kill this man. she can't. She didn't have that strength, and she didn't have that courage either. When he possessed her, she was completely unable to resist. From now on, she can only endure, endure...to endure until she is about to go crazy, she will desperately find another man, another boy. She can only bring misfortune to others. The result is the same every time—same as this one. Although Hua Gongzi's fate was tragic, her fate was ten times more tragic. Although Playboy is innocent, why isn't she innocent? There is nothing wrong with her. The only thing wrong was that someone who was not human fell in love with her and pestered her. Not only could she not resist, she could not even escape. Fluttershy walked slowly forward, into the darkness. She didn't look back, but her tears had begun to flow. Maybe her tears were not for others, but for herself. She didn't go back, she didn't want to go home, because she knew that the man must be waiting for her now, waiting for her with outstretched hands. Those murderous hands must have been washed very clean now, but the blood on the hands will never be washed away. Whenever these hands hugged her and touched her, she wanted to die. She can't die. She has a reason not to die. There is only one reason, and one reason no woman can live without. So she had to endure, endure his touch, his hug, and his wine-smelling mouth rubbing against her face. This is what she hates the most. He only went to her when he was very drunk, and he only went to her when he needed her. He seemed to be looking for her only for one thing, one thing that made her sick. She never found the slightest pleasure in it.It's just a tool for him to vent. Not only did she dare not refuse, she didn't even dare to show a hint of disgust, because he would never forget to remind her at any time. "If you don't love me, if you dare to leave me, I will kill you!" Fluttershy has been gone for a long time, but the front is still as dark as the place she came from. Even darker. She didn't know, where should she go?Where can I go? There seemed to be no place in this world that she could escape to, and even though she knew it, she still didn't want to go back. Just thinking of those hands made her almost want to throw up. There is the sound of running water ahead. She walked over in a daze. The quiet river looks like a gray noose in the night, ruthlessly strangling the silence of the earth. she sits down. She watched the thin mist rise from the river, so gentle and beautiful it seemed. But the fog will soon disappear. "If I just jump into the mist, wouldn't my troubles and pains disappear with the mist?" She suddenly made a move, and almost wanted to jump down desperately. At this moment, she seemed to hear a person's voice. "Do you want to die?" The voice was ethereal and distant, as if a ghost in the dark night was asking her secrets. She nodded involuntarily. The voice asked again: "Have you ever lived?" She turned around suddenly and saw those eyes. The same bright eyes, also contain fire-like enthusiasm in the same indifference. At this moment, she almost regarded him as the silent young man many years ago—the young man who disappeared suddenly. It's just that he seems younger and more melancholy, but there is a faint smile on the corner of his stern mouth at this moment, as if he is saying to her: "You asked me this sentence, do you still remember?" Of course she remembers that there is a kind of person that you can hardly forget once you meet him once. Meng Xinghun is such a person. Xiaodie also stared at him and said, "Are you not dead?" The smile lines on the corners of Meng Xinghun's mouth deepened, and he said, "If a person has never lived, how can he die?" Xiaodie suddenly found a smile on her face, and said, "When did you come?" Meng Xinghun said: "When it's time to come, it will come." Xiaodie said: "When is it time to come?" Meng Xinghun said: "I always feel like I owe you something, so..." Xiao Die said: "You think I saved you before, so you should save me once, don't you?" Meng Xinghun smiled and said, "To be honest, I never thought that people like you would want to die sometimes." Xiaodie lowered her head, raised her head again and said, "Have you always talked like this?" Meng Xinghun said: "I only tell the truth." Xiaodie said: "The truth sometimes hurts." Meng Xinghun said: "Lies may not hurt people, but they hurt people's hearts." Xiaodie stared at him, her eyes became brighter, and said: "Then let me ask you, if I don't come that day, will you really die?" Meng Xinghun was silent, and said slowly: "I just want to die...whether I want to die or not, and whether I will die are two different things." Xiaodie said: "Two things?" Meng Xinghun said: "Many people want to die, and many people don't die." Xiaodie smiled and said: "So I didn't save you, and you didn't save me either." Meng Xinghun said: "The people who are really dying cannot be saved by anyone." Xiaodie nodded slowly and said, "So you don't owe me, and I don't owe you either." Meng Xinghun said: "I owe you." Xiaodie said: "What do you owe me?" Meng Xinghun's eyes seemed to be foggy, he focused on her, and said word by word: "I don't want to die now." Xiao Die laughed again, and said, "In that case, I owe you too." Meng Xinghun said, "What do you owe me?" Xiao Die said: "I never expected to be able to laugh tonight." Meng Xinghun said: "Do you like to laugh?" Xiaodie said: "Whether you like to laugh or not, and whether you can laugh or not are two different things." Meng Xinghun said, "You only laughed when you saw me?" Xiaodie said: "Yes." Meng Xinghun said, "You think I'm funny?" Xiaodie said: "It's not funny, it's interesting." Meng Xinghun said: "Then, why don't you accompany me for a drink or two?" Xiaodie blinked and said, "Who said I won't go?" The wine is not good. It is so late at night, and there is no good wine to be found. It doesn't matter if the wine is not good. Some people want to drink not wine, but the taste of drinking. Meng Xinghun raised his glass and said, "I don't like toasting other people's wine." Xiaodie said: "I don't like people toasting my wine either." Meng Xinghun said: "However, I don't like others drinking less." Xiaodie smiled and said: "People who drink have this problem, they always hope that others will get drunk first... Even if he wants to get drunk himself, he also hopes that others will get drunk first." Meng Xinghun said: "You seem to know a lot about drunk people." Xiaodie said: "Because I am also one of them." Meng Xinghun smiled and said, "It seems that you don't like lying either." Xiaodie smiled and said, "That's only because I don't need to lie to you." Meng Xinghun said: "What if it is necessary?" Xiaodie slowly raised the wine glass, looked at the wine in the glass, and said slowly: "When necessary, I often lie, and sometimes I don't even believe the lies I tell." Meng Xinghun said: "What is necessary?" Xiaodie said: "There are many such situations." Meng Xinghun said: "For example..." Xiao Die continued: "For example, if you have taken a fancy to me, you have already let me know that you like me..." She smiled, drank the wine in the glass, and said, "Of course that's impossible." Meng Xinghun also slowly raised his wine glass, but he didn't look at the wine in the glass. His eyes fixed on her on the rim of the cup, and he said slowly: "Why is it impossible?" Xiaodie said: "Because...we don't know each other at all, you can even say we don't know each other." Meng Xinghun said: "But, we already know each other now, let alone..." He drank the glass of wine quickly, added another glass and drank it again, and then continued: "It's one thing to understand it, but another thing to like it or not. I believe people who know you will not There will be many, and there will definitely be no fewer people who like you." Xiao Die smiled and said, "Are you complimenting me, or are you mocking me?" Meng Xinghun also laughed, and said, "I just said what I wanted to say." Xiaodie said: "Do you often say what you want to say in front of others?" Meng Xinghun said: "I never say..." Xiaodie said: "But today you..." Meng Xinghun said: "Today is an exception, and it is an exception for you." Xiaodie said: "Why?" Meng Xinghun was silent for a long time, then suddenly heaved a long sigh and said, "I don't know either." Kocho was also silent. She suddenly found that she had the same feeling in her heart. She felt that she could express her thoughts in front of this person, and felt that she could be free in front of this person. why? She didn't know it herself. She just smiled and said: "Your problem is that you talk too much and drink too little." Meng Xinghun said, "I'm waiting for you." Xiaodie said: "Wait for me?" Meng Xinghun said: "You have already drank two drinks less than me." Xiaodie said: "You want me to drink like you?" Meng Xinghun said: "Yes." Xiaodie said: "You want to get me drunk?" Meng Xinghun said: "There is indeed such a meaning." Xiaodie laughed and said, "Then I warn you, it's not easy to get me drunk." Meng Xinghun said: "It's interesting because it's not easy, the more difficult it is, the more interesting it is." Meng Xinghun liked the wooden house where Han Tang lived, perhaps because he and Han Tang also had some similarities. The cabin was not comfortable, but it was quiet. After Han Tang's death, no one visited the wooden house.Because the value of Han Tang lies in his own hands. After he died, everything that belonged to him immediately became worthless. Meng Xinghun already regarded this wooden house as his own. The place where they drink is just outside the wooden house.Now the stars are thinning, and the night is getting darker. The wine in the jar is already shallow. Meng Xinghun said: "I suddenly realized that when I was with you, not only did I talk a lot, but I also drank a lot." Xiao Die said: "A person will only be like this when he is with old friends, isn't it?" Meng Xinghun said: "Yes." Xiaodie said: "But we are not old friends." Meng Xinghun said: "We are not." Xiaodie looked at him, her eyes were brighter, brighter than the last star in the sky. Meng Xinghun suddenly laughed again: "I heard that the more you drink, the brighter your eyes are, isn't it?" Xiaodie giggled and said, "How much do you know about me?" Meng Xinghun said: "I know that you drink very well, and that others call you Xiaodie." Xiaodie said: "What else?" Meng Xinghun said: "Not anymore." Xiaodie said: "But I don't even know your name." Meng Xinghun said: "My surname is Meng..." Xiaodie interrupted him, saying: "I don't want to know your name, because we have no relationship at all, not before, and never will in the future." Meng Xinghun suddenly felt his heart sinking, and couldn't help but ask, "Why?" Xiaodie said: "Because I'm not happy." She stood up suddenly and walked out. Meng Xinghun said: "You want to go?" Xiaodie said: "I should have left long ago." Meng Xinghun said, "I'll see you off." Xiaodie said: "No need, no need, no need..." She didn't look at Meng Xinghun again, and then said: "I have legs myself, and my legs are not broken." Meng Xinghun said: "In the future..." Xiaodie said: "In the future? We don't have a future. In the future, you still don't know me, and I don't know you either." This person seems to have changed suddenly.It changed in an instant, becoming cold and cruel. No one can guess how she changed?A woman's mind is that no one can understand. Meng Xinghun's heart felt a little prickly, as if a needle had pierced into his chest on the left side. He didn't speak anymore, he watched her go quietly.He doesn't like to force others, especially women. Who would have thought that Xiaodie suddenly turned her head around and said, "You just let me go like this?" Meng Xinghun said, "What else can I do?" Xiaodie said: "You don't want to keep me?" Her eyes suddenly dimmed, and she said again: "If it were someone else, they would definitely try their best to keep me." Meng Xinghun said: "I am not someone else, I am me." Xiaodie stared at him, then giggled and said, "You are so interesting, so interesting..." She came back suddenly, picked up the wine glass, looked at it, and found that the wine glass was empty. She lifted the wine jar and poured it down to her mouth. Meng Xinghun said, "You're already a little drunk." Xiaodie wiped the wine stains on the corner of her mouth, giggled and said, "You don't like me getting drunk? - Men like women to get drunk, and when women are drunk, men have a chance to take advantage." With a "bang", the wine jar in her hand fell down and shattered. She suddenly sat on the ground, burst into tears, and said, "I don't want to go back, so I don't want to go back..." Kocho didn't go back. When she woke up, she found herself sleeping on a cold, hard cot. Her clothes were still intact as last night, and even her shoes were still on her feet. The young man surnamed Meng was sitting opposite, as if he had been sitting there the whole time, not even moving. Xiaodie glanced at him gratefully, smiled apologetically, and said, "Did I get drunk last night?" Meng Xinghun smiled and said, "Everyone gets drunk sometimes." Xiao Die blushed, and said: "I usually wouldn't get drunk so quickly." Meng Xinghun said: "I know you were in a bad mood yesterday." Xiaodie said: "You know?" Meng Xinghun said: "A person in a good mood will never run to the riverside thinking of death alone." Xiaodie lowered her head, and after a long time, she asked, "What did I say when I was drunk?" Meng Xinghun said, "You said you didn't want to go back." Xiaodie said: "And then?" Meng Xinghun said: "Then you didn't go back." Xiaodie said: "I...didn't I say anything else?" Meng Xinghun said: "What do you think you will say?" Xiaodie didn't answer, she stood up suddenly, brushed her hair, said with a smile: "Now I really should go back." Meng Xinghun said: "I know." Xiaodie said: "You...you don't need to see me off." Meng Xinghun said: "I know." Xiaodie suddenly raised her head: "Why do you keep staring at me?" Meng Xinghun said: "Because I'm afraid." Xiaodie said: "Afraid? What are you afraid of?" Meng Xinghun said: "I'm afraid I won't see you again in the future!" Xiaodie's heart suddenly trembled, like a mimosa being blown by the spring breeze, she couldn't help but look at him, she could see that his eyes were full of pain. Meng Xinghun said slowly, "I hope I can go to you again in the future." Xiaodie said loudly: "No." Her voice was so loud that even she was startled, so she paused, and then continued: "If you go to find me, you will definitely regret it." Meng Xinghun said: "Regret?" Xiao Die said: "I will not be good to you, I will not be good to anyone, no matter who meets me, they will be unlucky." Meng Xinghun said: "That's my business, I only ask you..." He stared at her deeply, and said word by word: "I just ask you, do you want me to go find you again?" Xiaodie said: "You must not go to me." She lowered her head and found that her heart had begun to soften, she continued softly: "But I might come to you in the future." Kocho left. Meng Xinghun still sat there motionless. There is pain, sweetness, disappointment, and warmth in his heart. He has realized that she must have many secrets in her heart, which cannot be told to him.He himself has some secrets that he cannot tell others. Perhaps it was painful because they were so similar to each other. Because if a person is emotionally moved, there will be pain.Because of that sentence - "I might come to you again in the future." Will she really come? Meng Xinghun sighed, stood up, and fell back on the bed. He has a lot to do, but right now he doesn't want to do anything. There was still the fragrance of her hair on the pillow, and he buried his face in the pillow. He has made up his mind. If she doesn't come, he will forget her. Although he has made up his mind, he doesn't know if he can do it. "What about her? It must be easy for her to forget me." The pillow was cold, but it still smelled good. He really wanted to throw it out. Suddenly, the door opened. He heard the sound of the door opening, raised his head, and saw her again. She stood there with a radiant face, no trace of drunkenness from last night could be found on her face, she looked so fresh and beautiful, like a freshly bloomed flower. Meng Xinghun was so happy that he couldn't help jumping up. He had never been so happy in his life. Xiaodie put her hands behind her back, smiled brighter than Hua, looked at him and said with a smile: "Guess what I brought here?" Meng Xinghun deliberately shook his head. Xiao Die said: "I suddenly thought that since I ate your meal, I should treat you at least once, right?" She raised her hand, holding a bag full of food. She smiled and said, "Are you hungry?" Meng Xinghun finally couldn't help jumping up and said with a smile, "I'm so hungry that I could swallow a horse." They ran into the woods. In the depths of the woods, there are green grasses, and the autumn wind seems to have not yet blown here, and the wind is full of the fragrance of grass and trees. They ran and laughed like two children. Then they lay down on the grass in the thick shade.Breathe in the aroma quietly. I don't know how long it took before Xiaodie sighed softly and said, "I haven't been lying on the grass like this for a long time, how about you?" Meng Xinghun said: "I often lie on the ground, but today I feel a little different." Xiaodie said: "What's the difference?" Meng Xinghun said: "The grass seems to be very soft today." Xiaodie smiled, so softly, and said: "So you are also very good at talking, and you speak nicely." Meng Xinghun said: "Sometimes the truth is nice to hear, and sometimes it's even better than lies." Xiaodie bit her lip, after a long time, she suddenly said: "Have you ever thought about it?" Meng Xinghun said, "What have you thought about?" Xiaodie said: "Have you thought about whether I will come to you again?" Meng Xinghun said: "I thought about it." Xiaodie said: "You think I won't come again, don't you?" Meng Xinghun said: "I really didn't expect you to come so fast." Xiaodie said: "Do you know why I came here again so soon?" Meng Xinghun said: "I don't know, I only know that after you left, I suddenly felt very lonely." Xiao Die stopped talking, is it because Meng Xinghun has already expressed her thoughts for her?Loneliness, how terrible loneliness. Only those who often endure loneliness know how happy and happy they are when they suddenly feel no longer lonely. It's a pity that this kind of happiness is too rare. Sometimes even with a crowd of people around you, you can feel unbearably lonely.Meng Xinghun said slowly: "Maybe we are not friends yet, but I don't know why, only when I am with you, will I feel no longer lonely." Xiaodie's eyes gradually became moist, and she almost couldn't help saying, "Me too." She didn't say. After all, she is a woman, and women are always reluctant to say what is in their hearts. She suddenly jumped up and said with a smile: "Anyway, since I'm here, you should spend a good day playing with me." Meng Xinghun said: "I will accompany you—no matter what you want to do, I will accompany you." Xiaodie blinked and said, "Let's go digging treasures, shall we?" Meng Xinghun said, "Digging for treasure?" Xiaodie said: "I know there is a place in the woods where a treasure is buried." Meng Xinghun smiled and said: "There are not only treasures in this forest, but also gods, hundreds of gods, big and small, and some of them like to turn people into mules. You have to be careful." Xiaodie said: "You don't believe what I say?" Meng Xinghun smiled and said, "Do you believe what I said?" Xiao Die stomped her feet and said, "If you don't believe me, I'll take you to find it. I found it. Let's see if you still believe it?" Meng Xinghun just laughed. Xiaodie suddenly took a long breath and said, "I smell it." Meng Xinghun said, "What did you smell?" Xiaodie said: "The taste of treasure." Meng Xinghun said, "Oh? Where is it?" Xiaodie said: "The treasure is right here, just under the place where you sleep." Meng Xinghun couldn't help but stood up and said, "Is there a treasure down here?" Xiaodie said: "You still don't believe it?" Meng Xinghun chuckled. Xiaodie said: "What if I dig it out?" Meng Xinghun said: "If you can dig it out, you can find an immortal to turn me into a mule." Xiaodie said: "Okay, what a man says must not be counted." She immediately found a relatively hard branch and started digging.Meng Xinghun also helped dig. Before he had dug long, his branch touched something hard, like a box.Xiaodie glanced at him from the corner of her eyes, giggled and said, "It seems that someone is going to become a donkey." Meng Xinghun was stunned for a while, then suddenly laughed. The treasure buried in the ground has been dug out, it is altar wine. Meng Xinghun laughed loudly and said, "I was fooled, you must have buried this wine jar just now." Xiaodie said: "That doesn't matter, I just ask you, is this a treasure?" Meng Xinghun smiled and said, "Of course, I can't think of any better treasure in the world than this." Xiaodie said leisurely: "The treasure is already there, where is the mule?" Meng Xinghun said: "The mule is right in front of you, don't you see it?" Xiaodie laughed so hard that she bent her waist and said, "This mule seems to have only two legs." Meng Xinghun said seriously, "A mule with two legs is better than a mule with four legs." Xiaodie said: "How is it?" Meng Xinghun said: "A mule with two legs can drink." 小蝶的眼睛又亮了起来，那就是说，坛子里的酒又快空了。 风中不再有草木的香气，只有酒气。 一个人的肚子里若已装了半坛酒，除了酒气外，他还能闻到什么别的？ 小蝶伏在草地上，已有很久没有说话，她的鼻子也没有平时灵敏，但脑子里却想得更多，更复杂。 有很多平时不愿意、不敢想的事，现在却完全想了起来。 是谁说酒能浇愁的？ 孟星魂也没有说话。他什么都没有想，他只是静静的享受着这份沉默的乐趣，机智的言语虽能令人欢愉，但一个人若不懂得享受沉默，他就不能算是个真正会说话的人。 因为“真正令人欢愉的言语，只有那些能领悟沉默意义的人才能说出来”。 他以为小蝶在享受着这份沉默的乐趣。 人与人之间要想真正互相了解很难，更莫要以为你能了解女人，否则你必将追悔莫及。 星又疏，夜又深。 小蝶忽然翻身坐起，喃喃道：“我要回去了。” 她这句话说得实在太快了，快得就好像根本不愿被人听见。 也许因为这句话本不是她自己真心愿意说的。 孟星魂只听见一个“我”字，忍不住问道：“你要怎样？” 小蝶忽然瞪起眼睛，道：“你故意假装听不见我的话是不是？” 孟星魂笑道：“我为什么要假装听不见？” 小蝶叫了起来，道：“我说我要回去。” 声音大得又让她自己吓了一跳。她吸了口气，才接着道：“这次你听见了吗？” 孟星魂怔了半晌，道：“我听见了！” 小蝶道：“你有什么话说？” 孟星魂道：“我……我没有话说。” 小蝶道：“你不问我为什么忽然要回去？” 孟星魂道：“你当然有很好的理由，是不是？” 小蝶道：“当然，可是……可是你为什么不想法子留住我？” 孟星魂道：“我留得住么？” 小蝶道：“当然留不住，你有什么资格留住我？” 孟星魂道：“我并没有要留住你！” 小蝶瞪着眼发了半天呆，才点着头道：“对，你并没有要留下我的意思，我为什么还不走呢？我为什么要如此不知趣？” 孟星魂道：“我并不是没有要留下你的意思，更没有要你走的意思。” 小蝶道：“那么你是什么意思？” 孟星魂道：“我没有什么意思。” 小蝶道：“你难道是石头？难道不是人？怎么会没有意思？” 孟星魂不说话了。 他发觉小蝶忽然又变了，变得很凶，而且简直蛮不讲理。 小蝶道：“你没有话说了，是不是？” 孟星魂苦笑。他的确已无话可说。 小蝶道：“好，你既然连话都不愿跟我说，我不走干什么？” 她跳起身，奔出去，大声道：“我以后永远也不要见你，你若敢来找我，我打死你。” 孟星魂怔在那里，也不知是悲哀？Is it anger?or pain? 他只觉得心里很闷，很痛，几乎忍不住也要大声叫出来。 “我以后永远也不想见你，你也莫来找我。” 也许爱情就是这么回事。 你若想享受爱情的甜蜜，就必须同时忍受它的烦恼和痛苦。 小蝶已走得连影子都看不见了。 树林一片黑暗，令人绝望的黑暗。 孟星魂站起来，又坐下去，想找酒喝，可是懒得动。 他只想一个人坐在这里，坐在黑暗中。 但坐着也是痛苦，站起来还是痛苦，清醒时痛苦，醉了也痛苦。 一个人真正痛苦的时候，无论做什么都同样痛苦。 他有时厌倦，有时忧郁，有时空虚，但却从未如此痛苦过。 这是不是因为他以前从未有过快乐？黑暗中忽然传来一阵阵凄凉的哭声，孟星魂想装做听不见却已听见了。 他站起来，走过去。 小蝶伏在一株树后，哭得就像个孩子。 “她究竟为什么哭？究竟有什么事令她如此伤心？” 孟星魂慢慢地走过去，走到她身旁。 她的头发披散下来，柔软而光滑。 他心中不再有气闷和愤怒，只是充满了同情和怜惜，只希望自己能说几句安慰她的话，却又不知该从哪里说起。 他忍不住伸出手，轻轻地去抚摸她的头发。 小蝶忽然拉住了他的手，用力拉住他的手，眼泪流满了她的面颊，在夜色中看来宛如梨花上的露珠。 她流着泪嘶叫。 “我不想回去，你莫要赶我走，我真的不想回去……” 孟星魂跪下来，紧紧拥抱住她。他的泪也已流下：“没有人要赶你走，也没有人能赶你回去。” 的确没有人要赶她回去。 是她自己在赶自己回去。 她自己心里有根鞭子。 小蝶没有回去。 她醒来时，发现自己还是躺在那张又冷又硬的小床上。 孟星魂坐在地上，头枕在她脚旁。 他仿佛还睡得很沉，就像是个睡在母亲足畔的孩子。 在你自己情人的眼中，你无论做什么都会像个孩子，笑得像个孩子，哭得像孩子，睡得也像孩子。 一个人往往总会觉得自己所爱的人是带着几分孩子气的。 小蝶轻轻地坐起来，伸手轻轻去抚摸他的头发。 她看到他时，心里忽然充满了柔情蜜意，她抚摸他时，也正如一个慈爱的母亲在抚摸自己最疼惜的孩子。 在这一刹那间，她已忘却了所有的烦恼和痛苦，忘却了一切。 孟星魂的呼吸忽然变得很轻很轻。 小蝶立刻缩回手，发白的脸上泛起一片红晕，声音中带着颤抖，道：“你……你醒了。” 孟星魂没有动，也没有出声，过了很久才抬起头，凝注着她。 小蝶的头却垂下，道：“昨天晚上，我又醉得很厉害，是不是？” 孟星魂道：“嗯。” 小蝶红着脸道：“我醉了之后，一定变得很凶，很不讲理，一定说了很多让你生气的话。” 孟星魂道：“我不气，因为我知道。” 小蝶道：“知道什么？” 孟星魂柔声道：“每个人心里都会有些乱七八糟的烦恼和痛苦，总得找个机会发泄。” 小蝶沉默了很久，幽幽道：“你也有痛苦？” 孟星魂道：“本来没有的。” 小蝶道：“难道——难道你认识我之后才有痛苦？” 孟星魂道：“嗯。” 小蝶用力咬着嘴唇，道：“你一定后悔认识我了。” 孟星魂道：“我不后悔，我很高兴。” 小蝶道：“高兴？我让你痛苦，你却高兴？” 孟星魂道：“因为没有痛苦也不会有真正的快乐，我只有跟你在一起的时候，才真正快乐。” 这些话在别人听来一定很肉麻，但在情人们自己听来，却温柔如春风，优美如歌曲。 情人的话本不是说给别人听的。 小蝶又沉默了很久，终于忍不住说出了心里的话：“我也一样。” 她说出了这句话，就立刻跳下床，避开了孟星魂的目光，道：“我现在真的要回去了。” 孟星魂道：“我知道。” 小蝶道：“你……你还是不必送我回去。” 孟星魂道：“我不送。” 小蝶道：“那么我……我走了。” 孟星魂道：“我也不让你走！” 小蝶霍然回身，瞪大了眼睛，道：“你不让我走？” 孟星魂又重复了一遍，语气更坚决，道：“我不让你走！” 他不让她说话，很快地接着又道：“因为我知道你本不想回去。” 小蝶目中的惊奇变成了悲痛，泪光又涌出，黯然道：“不错，有时我的确想逃避，逃得远远的，可是我非回去不可。” Meng Xinghun said, "Why?" 小蝶突然又变得很急躁道：“为什么？我难道还能在这里住一辈子？” 孟星魂道：“为什么不能？” 小蝶又叫了起来，道：“不能，不能……不能就是不能……” 她转身，孟星魂已拉住她的手。 她另一只手突然挥出，重重地掴在他脸上。 孟星魂整个人都已被打得呆住似的。 小蝶也呆住，过了很久，才长长吐出口气，冷冷道：“放开我——放开我好不好？” 孟星魂道：“不好。” 他忽然用力将她拉过来，用力将她抱在怀中。 她的身子又冷又僵硬，就像是一块木头，一块铁，一块冰。 他觉得心已冷透，终于放开了她。然后他就觉得胃部剧烈收缩，全身都已因痛苦而颤抖。 小蝶动也不动地站着，冷冷地看着他。 他还在抖，抖得连站都站不住，一面抖一面退，退到墙角突然扭过头，扭过头时眼泪已夺眶而出。 “好，你走……走……” 他用尽力量只说出这几个字，说出后就似已将倒下。 小蝶没有走。 她忽然走过去拥抱着他，紧紧地拥抱住他。 冰已溶化，铁已燃烧。她身子柔软而发烫，变得就像一团火。 眼泪又已流满面颊。 她用整个身子紧贴着他。 孟星魂的颤抖已渐渐平息，咬着嘴唇道：“你……你不必这样做的。” 小蝶道：“我不必，可是我愿意，只要你不后悔，我愿意将一切都给你。” 她抱得更用力，流着泪道：“无论你后不后悔，我绝不后悔，无论以后你怎么样，我现在完全是你的。” 她说的每个字都是从心里说出来的，她已决心不顾一切，把自己交给这陌生人，这是她第一次甘心情愿地将自己交给别人。 因为她知道自己已全心全意地爱上了他。 虽然她对他还不了解，却已爱上了他。 这种情感来得实在太快，太猛烈，连她自己都几乎不能相信。 但这情感却又如此真实，令她不能不信。 “爱情本就是种最奇妙的情感，既没有人能了解，更没有人能控制，它不像友情，友情由累积而深厚，爱情却是突然发生的。” 它要不就不来，要来，就来得猛烈，令人完全无法抗拒。 于是她给了他。 他也给了她。 他们丝毫没有勉强，就仿佛这本是最自然的结果。他们坐下来，他们活着，为的就是等着这件事发生。 他们既没有狂欢，也没有激情，只是无限温柔地付出了自己，也占有了对方—— 她躺在他臂弯里。 他的呼吸轻柔如春风。 风从窗隙间吹进来，但秋意却已被隔断在窗外。 大地和平而静寂。 也不知过了多久，小蝶的眼波又渐渐湿润，她轻轻翻了个身，背对着他，轻轻地道：“现在你总该知道我有过别的男人！” 孟星魂的脸色温柔而平静，柔声道：“我早已知道。” 小蝶道：“你不后悔？” 她接着又问：“你……难道你一点也不在乎？” 孟星魂的声音更温柔，道：“过去的事，我为什么要在乎？” 小蝶突然又转过身，紧紧地抱住他，眼泪沾湿了他的脸庞。 她流着泪道：“不管你相信不相信，我都要告诉你，以前我虽然有过别人，但这却是我生平第一次——第一次——” Meng Xinghun said: "I believe it." 小蝶将头藏到他胁下，道：“你听了也许会觉得很可笑，但在我感觉中，我好像还是……还是个处女，好像还是第一次跟男人在一起。” Meng Xinghun said: "I understand." He does understand. 有些力量确实是任何人都无法抗拒的，所以一个人的身子是否被玷污，在他看来并不重要。 重要的是她的心。 只要她是真心对他，只要她的心仍然纯洁高贵，那么她是处女也好，是妓女也好，都完全不能影响他对她的爱和尊敬。 小蝶紧紧拥抱他，泪如泉涌。但这却是快乐的泪，感激的泪，没有人能形容她此刻的快乐和感激。 孟星魂忽然道：“那个人是谁？” 小蝶的心又沉了下去，道：“你既然不在乎，为什么要问？” 孟星魂说道：“因为我知道他一定还在纠缠着你。” 小蝶道：“你想杀了他？” 孟星魂紧闭着嘴。 这句话根本用不着答复，任何人都能看出他目中的怒火。 他毕竟是个人，是个男人。 这种事本就不是任何男人所能忍受的。 小蝶用力咬着嘴唇，喃喃道：“我也想杀了他，我早就想杀了他！” 孟星魂道：“那么你就该告诉我……” 小蝶道：“我不能告诉你。” Meng Xinghun said, "Why?" 小蝶道：“因为我不愿你为我去杀人，更不愿你为我去冒险。” 孟星魂道：“冒险？” 小蝶道：“他是个很可怕的人，你……你……” 孟星魂冷笑道：“你认为他比我强？……你认为我不是他的对手？” 小蝶用力握着他的手，道：“我没有这意思，绝对没有，只不过……” 孟星魂道：“只不过怎样？” 小蝶闭着嘴，摇了摇头。孟星魂道：“你为什么不说话了？”小蝶闭上眼睛，泪珠又涌出，过了很久，才缓缓道：“我的意思你应该了解才是，为什么一定要我说出来呢？” 孟星魂也沉默了很久，才长长叹息了一声，道：“我了解。” 他的确了解，但却无法不嫉妒。 只要有爱，就有嫉妒。 也许有人说：“爱是奉献，不是占有，既然是奉献，就不该嫉妒。” 说这句话的人若非圣贤，就是伪君子。 圣贤博爱。 伪君子根本就不会对一个人真正爱过。 孟星魂既非圣贤，也不是伪君子。他了解，但是他嫉妒，愤怒，痛苦。 小蝶凝注着他的眼神，慢慢地松开了他的手，黯然道：“我只想让你知道，我现在心里只有你，只关心你，那个人根本不值得你……” 孟星魂霍然站了起来，大声道：“你不用说了，我知道，全都知道。” 他赤着脚走过去，走到桌前倒了杯酒，一口喝了下去。 他就赤着脚站在冷而潮湿的石地上，久久都不肯回头。 小蝶凝望着他，仿佛已能感觉到自己的心在碎裂。 “难道我又做错了？” “若没有错，他也许还不会如此痛苦！” “我令别人痛苦，也令自己痛苦，我既明知这是不可能的事，为什么还要做……？” 她悄悄地站起来，悄悄地穿上衣服。 孟星魂忽然道：“你想干什么？” 小蝶垂着头，看着自己纤细的脚趾，道：“我……我已出来两三天……” 孟星魂道：“你想回去？” 小蝶道：“嗯。” 孟星魂霍然回过头，瞪着她，道：“你一直想回去，一直不肯要我送你，是不是因为那个人在等着你。” 小蝶看到自己的脚趾在蜷曲收缩，她的心也在收缩。 孟星魂道：“你说你心里只有我，为什么不在这里陪着我？——你心里若是真的只有我，就应该忘了那个人，忘了一切。” 他冷笑着，接着又道：“除非你根本就是骗我的。” 小蝶居然抬起头，瞪着他，大声道：“不错，我根本就是骗