Chapter 12 The twelfth chapter is funny and I am a joke
Wei Xiaobao walked out of the gate, and saw four eunuchs standing outside, but none of them were acquaintances.The leading eunuch said: "Eunuch Gui, the emperor will send you there in the middle of the night, tsk tsk, tsk tsk, there is nothing to say about the emperor's treatment of you. Where is Deputy Chief Rui? The emperor sent him to meet you with Eunuch Gui." Wei Xiaobao's heart trembled, and he said: "Has Deputy Director Rui returned to the palace? I've never seen it before." The eunuch said: "Really? Let's go first." Then he turned around and led the way.
Wei Xiaobao secretly wondered: "Why did he ask me Deputy Chief Rui? How does the emperor know that Deputy Chief Rui is with me?" He thought again: "I am the deputy chief eunuch, and my position is much higher than yours. How come you are ahead of me? You You are not young, don't you know the rules of the palace." He asked: "Grandpa, what is your surname? We rarely meet in the past." The eunuch said: "We idle little eunuchs, Eunuch Gui naturally doesn't recognize us." Wei Xiaobao said: " The emperor sent my father-in-law to pass me on, so he is no longer an idle eunuch." While speaking, he saw that he turned to the west, but the emperor's bedroom was in the northeast, Wei Xiaobao said: "Did you go by the wrong way?" The eunuch said : "That's right, the emperor is paying his respects to the Empress Dowager. There was an assassination just now, and I was afraid that Cijia would be shocked. Let's go to the Palace of Compassion."
When Wei Xiaobao heard that he was going to see the Empress Dowager, he was taken aback and stopped in his tracks.
Among the three eunuchs walking behind him, two suddenly moved to the left and right, and the four held him in the middle.
Wei Xiaobao was even more startled, and secretly shouted: "Oops, no! It's not the emperor who asked me to go, it's clearly the queen mother who came to arrest me." Although I don't know if these four people know how to fight, but with one against four, they can't fight Win, a commotion will arise, and all the guards rush to hear the sound, how can they escape?His heart was beating wildly, and he said with a smile: "Are you going to the Palace of Compassion? That's very good. Every time the queen mother sees me, there will be a reward if it's not gold and silver, or candies and cakes. The queen mother treats the slaves the most Alright, she said that my child is greedy and always rewards him with a lot of food." Then she walked up the corridor leading to the empress dowager's bedroom.
The four eunuchs saw that he had gone to the Palace of Compassion and Ning as promised, so they returned to the positions of the first and the third.
Wei Xiaobao said: "The last time I saw the Empress Dowager, I was really lucky. The Empress Dowager said that I had won Oboi, and I had made a lot of contributions. She rewarded me with five thousand taels of gold and twenty thousand taels of silver. My strength is too weak, but where can Can it be moved? The queen mother said: "I can't move it, move it slowly. Little Guizi, how do you use your money?" The servants will give some to them whoever can agree with them. If you have money, let’s spend it!'" He was talking nonsense, thinking about ways to get out.
The eunuch behind him said: "How can there be so many rewards?" Wei Xiaobao said: "Ha, don't you believe it? Look at me." He took out a large stack of bank notes from his bosom, some were five hundred taels, and some were one. One thousand taels, and some two thousand taels.
Under the light of the lantern fire, it seemed vaguely true, the four eunuchs couldn't breathe, they all stopped in their tracks.
Wei Xiaobao drew four silver tickets, and said with a smile: "The emperor and the queen mother keep giving money, how can I spend it all? Here are four silver tickets, some are two thousand taels, some are one thousand taels, the four brothers try their luck, and each Take one personally."
The four eunuchs didn't believe it, how could anyone in the world give away thousands of taels of silver?They didn't reach out to smoke.
Wei Xiaobao said: "There is too much money around me, there is no place to spend it, and sometimes I am not very happy. Now I go to see the Queen Mother and the Emperor, and I don't know how much money I will be rewarded." He raised the bank note high, and in the wind Shaking, squinting at the surrounding terrain.
One of the eunuchs laughed and said, "Eunuch Gui, you really gave us the bank notes, are you kidding me?" Wei Xiaobao said, "What kind of joke is there? Any of our brothers in the Shangshan Prison will not surpass me for a thousand years?" Eight hundred? Come on, try your luck, which brother will smoke first?" The eunuch smiled and said: "I will smoke first." Wei Xiaobao said: "Wait a while, you can see clearly." The four A bank note was placed under the light of the lantern.The four eunuchs could see clearly that they were all silver notes of one thousand taels or two thousand taels, and their faces changed color.Eunuchs can't marry wives and have children, and they can't serve as soldiers or officials, so they like gold, silver and property twice as much as ordinary people.Although these four people have been working in the palace for a long time, they have never seen a bank note of one thousand taels or two thousand taels of silver.
Wei Xiaobao raised his hand, danced the silver ticket in the wind a few times, and said with a smile: "Okay, this big brother will draw first!"
The eunuch stretched out his hand to draw the banknotes, but before his fingers touched the banknotes, Wei Xiaobao let go, the four banknotes were blown out by the wind, fluttering, and flew up to the flowers.Wei Xiaobao shouted: "Ah, why don't you grab it firmly? Hurry up, grab it, whoever grabs it, the bank note will be his." The four eunuchs rushed after him.
Wei Xiaobao shouted: "Catch it quickly, don't fly away!" Shortened his body, he got into the fake cave that he had spotted for a long time.He knew that there were a lot of rockery in the area of the Imperial Garden, and the caves were winding and winding. After getting in, it was really not easy to find for a while.
The four eunuchs rushed to grab the banknotes, two of them each picked up one, one picked up two, but one failed, the two immediately started arguing.One said: "Eunuch Gui said, whoever picks it up will own it, and both are mine." The other said: "It's agreed to have one for each person, and quickly share one. I only want the one thousand taels That’s it.” The man said: “What is a thousand taels? It’s so easy to say, and there is no one tael.” The one who didn’t find the banknote grabbed his chest and said, “Will you give it? Let’s ask Eunuch Gui comment on this reason." Turning around, Wei Xiaobao disappeared.The four were startled, shouted in unison, and looked around.The eunuch who didn't find the banknote still refused to give up, grabbed the lapel of the person who found two, and insisted that he share one.
Wei Xiaobao had already hid in a cave more than ten zhang away, and when he heard the two loudly arguing, he secretly laughed, thinking: "I hid until dawn, and slipped out of the palace through the side door, then I will never come back again." The eunuch said: "The Empress Dowager ordered that Eunuch Gui and Deputy Chief Rui should be passed on immediately. He... he... Where did he hide?" Another eunuch said: "He is in the palace. There is nowhere to hide. It’s just that he gave the bank note, you can’t tell it. Brother Hao, if you have two bank notes, give one to Xiaolao, otherwise he will definitely reveal it. Oops."
Suddenly they heard footsteps, some people approached from the west, and one of them said: "There are assassins in the palace tonight, I'm afraid everyone will be punished tomorrow." Wei Xiaobao knew it was the guards of the palace when he heard it.Another person said: "I just hope that Eunuch Gui will say a few more good things in front of the emperor." Another person said: "Although Eunuch Gui is young, he is really friendly, which is really rare."
Wei Xiaobao was overjoyed, he came out of the cave, and said in a low voice: "Brothers, please be quiet." The first two guards held lanterns and called softly: "Gui Gonggong." Wei Xiaobao saw that there were fifteen guards in this group. The six people are exactly the group of people who came to my window just now.He remembered the names of these people, and said: "Brother Zhang, Brother Zhao, the four eunuchs over there colluded with the assassins, everyone, hurry up and catch them, the credit is not small." Then he called a few more names, and said: "Brother He Brother E, click on the dumb acupoints of these four people first, or you will knock their jaws down, and don’t let them startle the emperor by shouting loudly."
The guards heard that they were four eunuchs, but they didn't take it seriously. They made a gesture, blew out the lantern, lowered their bodies, and slowly covered them.Of the four eunuchs, two were looking for Wei Xiaobao in the cave, and two were fighting for the banknotes, all of them were engrossed.All the guards encircled one another, with a low whistle, they rushed out from all directions, three or four guarded one, and overturned the four eunuchs to the ground.The martial arts of these guards are not very high, none of them know how to tap acupuncture points, or use grappling techniques, or use palm strikes, knocking down the jaws of four of them.
The four eunuchs opened their mouths wide and couldn't utter a word, they didn't understand why, they were extremely panicked.
Wei Xiaobao pointed to a room next to him, and shouted: "Pull it in for torture!" All the guards dragged the four eunuchs sideways, and dragged them into the hall, someone lit a lantern and held it up high.Wei Xiaobao sat in the middle, and the guards pulled the four eunuchs to kneel down.
The four of them were ordered by the Queen Mother to arrest someone, how could they kneel down?All the guards punched and kicked him, and forcibly knocked him down.
Wei Xiaobao said: "The four of you were sneaking around just now, what were you fighting for? You said that one thousand taels belonged to you and two thousand taels belonged to me? What did you say that the friends from outside were unlucky this time and gave it to the dog guards?" They killed a lot of people. What kind of friends are 'friends from outside'? Why do you call the guards 'dog guards'?"
All the guards were furious and kicked the four of them on the back.The four eunuchs screamed "wronged", but how could they say it?
Wei Xiaobao said again: "I was following behind you, and I heard one say: 'I led the way, those two bank notes were given to me by him, how can I share them with you?'" He grabbed two of them The eunuch with the bank note pointed at the eunuch who didn't get the bank note and said: "You said: 'Everyone is going to do this big thing together, beheading and ransacking the house, the charges are common, why don't you give it to me? No, you must You have to divide it.’” Pointing to another eunuch, he said, “You said: ‘Brother Hao, you have to share one of your two silver bills with Xiaolao, otherwise he will definitely shake it out, and everyone will not make a fortune, and you have to kill him. The head ransacked the house.’ You said that, didn’t you? What big event did you do together? Why are you charged with beheading and ransacking the house? And what kind of money is it or not.”
The guards said: "They lead the way for the assassins, so they committed the serious crime of beheading and ransacking their homes. Just search them for any banknotes." After a search, the four banknotes were found immediately, and everyone Seeing the huge amount of these four banknotes, the guards shouted loudly.An ordinary eunuch's monthly silver is only four taels or six taels, and suddenly each of them has huge sums of money, how can there be fake ones?
The guard surnamed Zhao asked the eunuch who had two bank notes on him, "Your surname is Hao?" The eunuch nodded.The guard surnamed Zhao asked the eunuch who didn't have a bank note: "Your surname is Lao?" The eunuch looked pale and nodded.A guard said: "Okay, the assassin gave you a lot of silver, so you lead the way for the assassin, call them 'friends outside', call us 'dog guards'? Your grandma's!" kicked hard, then The eunuch surnamed Hao had protruding eyeballs, and his mouth was full of lotus.
The guard surnamed Zhao said: "Don't be reckless, you have to interrogate carefully." He bent over and stretched out his hand, and put a hand on the mandible of the eunuch surnamed Lao, and connected his chin.Wei Xiaobao shouted: "Who ordered you to do this great thing? You are so bold, quickly recruit!" The eunuch said: "I am wronged, I am wronged! It is the queen mother who ordered us..."
Wei Xiaobao leaped forward, pressed his mouth with his left hand, and shouted: "Nonsense! You can say such things? If you say more, I will kill you immediately." With his right hand, he drew out the dagger, turned the hilt upside down, and held it against his heavenly cap. Hit him twice, knocking him unconscious, then turned to the guards and said, "He said it was ordered by the Empress Dowager, this... this... this is a catastrophe."
All the guards changed their faces and said, "The queen mother ordered them to bring assassins into the palace?" They all knew that the emperor is not the queen mother's biological son, and the queen mother has always been shrewd and decisive. Could it be that the emperor offended the queen mother, so...so...in the palace There are intrigues, all kinds of terrible things, and I am actually involved in it, and my life is really at stake.
Wei Xiaobao asked another eunuch: "Are you really sent by the Empress Dowager? This matter is very important, but you can't talk nonsense. Are you really sent by the Empress Dowager?" The eunuch couldn't speak, but nodded repeatedly.Wei Xiaobao said: "These bank notes are also given by the Empress Dowager?" The three eunuchs shook their heads together.Wei Xiaobao said: "Okay! You are following orders, not your own ideas, are you?" The three eunuchs nodded repeatedly.Wei Xiaobao said: "Are you going to die or live?" It's not easy to express this sentence by nodding, one of the three eunuchs nodded, one shook his head, the other nodded first and then shook his head, thinking about it wrong, he nodded his head again.Wei Xiaobao asked: "Are you going to die?" The three shook their heads.Wei Xiaobao asked: "Want to live?" The three of them nodded very quickly.
Wei Xiaobao pulled the two leading guards, and the three walked out of the house.Wei Xiaobao said in a low voice: "Brother Zhang, Brother Zhao, our eaters, I'm afraid we'll have to move this trip." The one surnamed Zhang is Zhang Kangnian, and the one surnamed Zhao is Zhao Qixian. He was so frightened that he couldn't help himself, Qi said: "Then... what should we do?" Wei Xiaobao said: "I don't have the slightest idea, what should Brother Zhang and Brother Zhao do?" Zhang Kangnian said: "If Zhang Yang comes out, I will I don't know what the trouble will be, if it can be covered up, that would be the best." Zhao Qixian said: "Yes, it is better to let these four eunuchs go, and everyone pretends that this is not the case." Zhang Kangnian said: "Just Fearing people is harmless, tigers hurt people's hearts." Wei Xiaobao said: "It would be great to let them go, but they must not report to the Empress Dowager. Otherwise, the Empress Dowager will kill people to silence them in a fit of anger. These four eunuchs Of course we can’t survive, the seventeen brothers here will probably be divided into thirty-four pieces.”
Both Zhang and Zhao shivered at the same time.Zhang Kangnian raised his right palm and gave a virtual split.Wei Xiaobao looked at Zhao Qixian, Zhao Qixian nodded, and asked: "The four banknotes beside them?" Wei Xiaobao said: "These six thousand taels of silver should be divided among the elder brothers. I was so frightened that I just asked for this one If you don't get into trouble, you don't need money."
Zhang and Zhao heard that six thousand taels of silver was a good share, and each of them could get more than three hundred taels. Without any hesitation, they turned around and entered, and whispered a few words in the ears of the four cronies.
Those four people nodded, pulled up four eunuchs, and said: "Since you are people around the queen mother, go back now!"
The four eunuchs were overjoyed and went out of the house, followed by the four guards.Only a few screams of "He He He He" could be heard outside, followed by a guard shouting outside: "There are assassins, there are assassins!" The other shouted: "Ah, no, the assassins killed four eunuchs. " Four guards came into the house and said to Wei Xiaobao: "Eunuch Gui, there are assassins outside and killed four father-in-laws."
Wei Xiaobao let out a long sigh, and said: "What a pity, what a pity! The assassin escaped, can't he catch up?" A guard said: "I didn't see the assassin's shadow." Wei Xiaobao said: "Well, there is nothing anyone can do about it. The four father-in-laws were assassinated by the assassins, you go and report to Chief Mingdo!" All the guards suppressed their smiles and responded in unison: "Yes!" Wei Xiaobao couldn't bear it any longer and laughed loudly.All the guards laughed too.Wei Xiaobao smiled and said: "Big brothers, Gong Xi Fa Cai, see you tomorrow."
Wei Xiaobao returned to his residence in a hurry, and was about to reach the door, when he suddenly heard someone in the flowers say coldly: "Xiao Guizi, hello!" When Wei Xiaobao heard the voice of the Empress Dowager, he was taken aback, turned around and fled, he ran five or six steps, only to feel a hand on his left shoulder, his whole body was numb, as if a hundred catties of boulders were pressing on his body, and he couldn't do it any more. move.He hastily bent down and stretched out his hand to pull out the dagger. Just as his fingers touched the hilt, he had already slapped the upper arm of his right hand, and couldn't help but let out an "ah".The Empress Dowager said in a deep voice: "Xiao Guizi, you are so young, you are really capable. You have killed four of my eunuchs without compromising your composure, and you will even frame me as a framer. Heh, heh... ..." Wei Xiaobao only complained about the price of pearls in his heart, in his desperation, he thought that the Empress Dowager hated him to the bone, all begging would be useless, he could only risk his life, scare her severely, endure it for a while, and then try to escape, said "Queen Mother, it's too late for you to kill me now, what a pity, what a pity." The Queen Mother said coldly, "What a pity?" What did you say, think about it... think about it, you have heard it all." The queen mother said gloomyly: "You said that I sent these four useless eunuchs to lure assassins into the palace. Hmph, what is my reason?" Wei Xiaobao said: "How do I know what you are doing, the emperor probably knows." Anyway, ninety-nine out of ten out of ten of this life have died, so I just let her be a villain to the end. The Queen Mother was furious, and said with a sneer, "As soon as I spit out my palm, I will kill you immediately, that would be too cheap, you little thief." Wei Xiaobao said: "That's right, you killed Xiao Guizi with your palm, everyone in the palace will know about it tomorrow. 'How did Xiao Guizi die?' 'Of course the Queen Mother killed him.' 'Why did the Queen Mother kill him?' "Because Xiao Guizi broke the Queen Mother's secret." "What secret?" Don't tell others, this matter is really special...it's not a trivial matter.'” The queen mother was so angry that the hands on his shoulders couldn't help shaking, she breathed a sigh of relief, and said: "At worst, only the dozen or so guards will know. After I kill you, I will immediately order Ruidong to arrest all these dozen guys. Wake up and execute immediately, what troubles will there be?" Wei Xiaobao laughed out loud.The Empress Dowager said: "Death is imminent, thanks to your laughter." Wei Xiaobao said: "Empress Dowager, you said you want Ruidong to kill someone? He...he...haha..." The Empress Dowager asked: "How is he?" Wei Xiaobao Said: "He has already given it to me..." I wanted to say "He has already given me a knife to kill him", but suddenly I had an idea, and said "haha" a few times.The Empress Dowager asked again: "How did he treat you already?" Wei Xiaobao said: "He has already accepted me obediently, and he will never listen to you again." The queen mother sneered, and said: "Depending on how capable you are, you little brat can make Deputy Chief Rui not listen to me." Wei Xiaobao said: "I am a little eunuch, so naturally he is not afraid. Deputy Chief Rui is afraid of another one." The queen mother tremblingly said: "He...he is afraid of the emperor?" Wei Xiaobao said: "We are slaves, Of course you are afraid of the Emperor, so you can't blame him, can you?" The Empress Dowager said: "What did you tell Rui Dong?" Wei Xiaobao said: "You said everything." The queen mother murmured: "I have said everything." After a long silence, she said: "He... what about others?" Wei Xiaobao said: "He went far, far, far away, and never came back again. Queen Mother, if you want to see him, of course it's very good, very good, but I'm afraid it won't be easy." The Queen Mother asked in surprise: "He Went out of the palace?" Wei Xiaobao pushed the boat along the water and said, "That's right. He said that he was afraid of both the emperor and you, and it's hard to be a man in the middle. I'm afraid that there will be some worry about life or some serious disaster, so why not Go far away." The Empress Dowager said: "Gao Fei went far away." Wei Xiaobao said: "Yes, yes! Queen Mother, how do you know? Did you hear him say that? He is Gao Fei gone away!" The queen mother snorted and said: "He doesn't even want to be an official anymore? Where did he escape to?" Wei Xiaobao said: "He... he came to..." With a thought, he said: "What Taishan did he talk about, what Go to Mount Liutai, Qitai, and Batai." The Empress Dowager said: "Mount Wutai!" Wei Xiaobao said: "Yes, yes! It is Mount Wutai. Queen Mother, you know everything." The Empress Dowager asked: "What else did he say?" Wei Xiaobao said: "He didn't say anything. It's just...just that he will do what I entrusted to him. He swore a curse and made a promise I swear, what are you cutting into pieces, killing your sons and grandchildren." The Queen Mother said: "What did you entrust him with?" Wei Xiaobao said: "It's nothing. Deputy Chief Rui originally said that it doesn't matter if he doesn't become an official, just It didn't take a year or so to go out. I gave him a bank note of 20,000 taels of silver." The Empress Dowager said: "You are so rich, where did you get all this money?" Wei Xiaobao said: "It was also given by others. Prince Kang gave some, Mr. Suo'etu gave some, and Wu Sangui's son also gave some." The queen mother said: "You are so bold, Rui Dong will naturally be grateful, what do you want him to do? What?" Wei Xiaobao said: "I dare not say it." The Empress Dowager said sharply: "Will you say it?" The palm on his shoulder pressed down hard.Wei Xiaobao let out an "ouch".The queen mother relaxed her grip and shouted, "Say it quickly!" Wei Xiaobao sighed, and said: "Deputy Chief Rui promised me that if the slave is killed in the palace, he will report the reasons in detail to the emperor. He said he was going to write a memorial and put it in the palace." Beside him. He made an agreement with the slave that every two months, the slave... the slave will..." The queen mother asked tremblingly, "How is it?" Wei Xiaobao said, "Every two months, the slave will go to Tianqiao to find a The man who sells candied haws asked him: "Do you have any candied haws with emerald agate?" He said, "Yes, a bunch of one hundred taels of silver." Sell it?' He said: 'No sell, no sell. Haven't you died yet?' I said, 'Go and talk to the old man!' He then went to inform Deputy Chief Rui. For the story, Chen Jinnan had to slightly change the answer Chen Jinnan asked him to contact Xu Tianchuan. The queen mother snorted, and said: "This is the way to communicate with warriors in the Jianghu. You little thief can't figure it out. It was taught by this timid guy Rui Dong, right?" Wei Xiaobao pretended to be surprised, and said: " Hey! How do you know that it was Vice President Rui who disciplined me? Yes, you heard him when he told me.” I felt that the Queen Mother’s hand on my shoulder couldn’t stop shaking, and after a while, I heard She asked: "What if you don't go to the candied haws seller then?" Wei Xiaobao said: "Deputy Chief Rui said that he will wait another ten days. If I still don't go, then naturally the slave's life is in danger. He...he will find a way to report to the emperor. At that time, the slave will die Well, there is no benefit at all, but the slave is loyal to the emperor, please be careful, repay the grudge if you have a grudge, take revenge if you have a grudge, and don't be plotted against by others. That's all because of the loyalty of the slave and Deputy Chief Rui." The Empress Dowager murmured: "If you have a grudge, if you have a grudge, if you have a grudge, that's very good." Wei Xiaobao said: "These days, the slaves serve the emperor every day, but they don't reveal anything. As long as the slaves live well and stay by the emperor's side Waiter, it is better not to let the emperor know about this kind of thing, why bother him?" The queen mother took a breath and said: "You are a very good person." Wei Xiaobao said: "The emperor treats his slaves very well, the queen mother It's not bad to treat slaves. If a slave is loyal to the Queen Mother, maybe the Queen Mother likes it and rewards him with something, isn't everyone pretty?" The queen mother sneered a few times, and said: "You still expect me to reward you, you are really thick-skinned." There was a bit of joy in the sneer, and the tone was greatly relieved. Wei Xiaobao heard that her tone had changed, and the situation eased greatly, he hurriedly said: "What greed is there for a slave? As long as the Queen Mother and the Emperor are safe and sound, and everyone lives in harmony, we slaves are a great blessing. Queen Mother, you Good luck to the old man, my slave will go to Tianqiao tomorrow, find that man, and tell him to inform Deputy Chief Rui Rui as soon as possible, and ask him to keep his mouth shut. My slave... I want him to take another three thousand taels of silver, saying that the Queen Mother rewarded him The Empress Dowager snorted, and said: "This kind of person is ineffective, abandons his post and absconds, it's his luck that I don't chop off his head, and reward him with money?" Wei Xiaobao said: "Yes, yes! The three thousand taels of silver, of course. It came from a slave. How can the Queen Mother reward him with money?" The queen mother slowly let go of the hand on his shoulder, and said slowly: "Xiao Guizi, are you really loyal to me?" Wei Xiaobao knelt down, kowtowed repeatedly, and said: "Your servant is loyal to the Queen Mother, there are countless benefits, if you are not loyal, your head will be moved. Although Xiao Guizi is a fool, this head is quite important." The queen mother nodded and said: "Very good, very good, very good!" Saying "Very good", she slapped him on the back, said three times, and slapped him three times in succession.Wei Xiaobao was dizzy immediately, and wanted to vomit immediately, "uh uh uh" in his throat could not stop. The Empress Dowager said: "Xiao Guizi, that night, that old thief Hai Dafu said that there is a kind of kung fu called 'Bone Transforming Palm' in the world, if it is practiced well, it can break a person's bones when hit on the body. Kungfu is very difficult to practice. Of course I don’t know how to do it either, but I think you’re a very well-behaved kid, and it’s quite interesting to try hitting three palms on your back.” Wei Xiaobao's chest and abdomen were full of Qi and blood, he couldn't bear it any longer, with a sound of "Wow", there was blood and clear water again, and he spat it out, thinking: "The old bitch didn't believe me, so she did it." The Queen Mother said: "Don't be afraid, I won't kill you. If you are dead, who will go to Tianqiao to find the candied haws seller? It just hurts you a little, and you will not be very smart when you do things. "Wei Xiaobao said: "Thank you Empress Dowager for your kindness." Standing up slowly, he sat down with a sway, and vomited a few more mouthfuls of blood.The queen mother laughed, turned around and disappeared into the flowers. Wei Xiaobao struggled to stand up, and slowly walked around to the window at the back of the house, leaned on the window sill to catch his breath for a while, and then climbed into the window.
The little princess Mu Jianping asked in a low voice: "Brother Gui, is that you?" Wei Xiaobao was annoyed, and scolded: "Fuck you, it's not me." Swearing?" Wei Xiaobao just climbed to the window and said, "I..." He couldn't catch his breath, he fell through the window with a bang, and lay down on the ground, unable to stand up again. Fang Yi and Mu Jianping said "Ouch" in unison, and asked in surprise, "What... what's wrong? Are you injured?" Wei Xiaobao's fall was really not light, but he heard the concern in the tone of the two women, he was in a good mood immediately, he laughed, took a few breaths, and thought: "The old bitch's palms, I don't know what it is." It's not 'Bone-melting Palm', maybe she won't be able to practice well, I'm wearing a baby vest, and my bones are hard, she melts and melts, but I can't get rid of it..." Said: "The good girl and the good wife are both injured. , if I don’t also get hurt, what is it called to be blessed and prosper together, and to suffer together in trouble?” Mu Jianping said: "Brother Gui, where is your injury? Does it hurt?" Wei Xiaobao said: "My good girl has a conscience, and asked me if it hurts. Pain is really painful, but I asked you, and suddenly It doesn't hurt anymore. Do you think it's strange?" Mu Jianping smiled and said, "You're cheating again." Wei Xiaobao put his hands on the table, stood up out of breath, and thought: "My old life is still alive, it all depends on the kindness and support of Deputy Chief Rui, as long as the old bitch knows that Deputy Chief Rui is dead, Wei Xiaobao's old I can't survive another half an hour." From the medicine box, he took out the triangular medicine bottle with blue background and white spots.There are many medicinal powders and pills in Hai Laogong's medicine box, but he only recognizes this bottle of "Corpse Transformation Powder".Pull Ruidong's body out from under the bed, and take back the golden ticket and treasure stuffed in his arms. Mu Jianping said: "You haven't come back, this dead man is lying under our bed, but it scared the two of us to death." Wei Xiaobao said: "Scared both of you to death, isn't there two more dead men? A female companion who is ashamed of flowers and closes the moon?" Fang Yi said: "Hey, little princess, don't talk to him too much." Wei Xiaobao said: "I'm doing a trick, do you want to watch it?" Fang Yi said: "No." Wei Xiaobao said: "If you don't watch it, close your eyes." Fang Yi immediately closed her eyes.Mu Jianping also closed his eyes, but then opened them again. Wei Xiaobao took out a small silver spoon from the medicine box, pulled off the cork of the medicine bottle, took a small amount of "corpse powder" with the small silver spoon, and poured it into the wound of Ruidong's corpse. Smoke came out, followed by a strong smell, and after a while, a lot of yellow water flowed out of the wound, and the wound became more and more rotten.Mu Jianping said "Huh".Fang Yi became curious and opened her eyes. Seeing this scene, her eyes widened and could not be closed anymore. When the corpse encounters yellow water, it rots immediately. The more yellow water there is, the faster the corpse rots. Wei Xiaobao saw that both of them were terrified, and said: "Which of you don't listen to me, I will sprinkle a little of this treasure powder on your face, and it will rot like this immediately." Mu Jianping said: "You Don't be scary." Fang Yi glared at him angrily, but she couldn't hide her horror.Wei Xiaobao took a step forward with a smile, took the medicine bottle and shook it twice at her, putting it in his arms. Not long after, Rui Dong's body rotted into two pieces.Wei Xiaobao lifted the chair, pushed the two corpses into the yellow water with the legs of the chair, within half an hour, all of them turned into yellow water.He let out a long breath and thought: "Even if the old bitch sends a million soldiers to Mount Wutai, he will not be able to catch Ruidong." He scooped up water from the water tank and washed the ground to wash away the fluids from the corpse. The yellow water didn't wash up with a few ladles of water, and he tilted his body and fell on the bed. He was extremely sleepy and fell asleep. When I woke up, it was broad daylight, but I felt nausea in my chest, and I vomited a while, but I couldn't vomit anything.I could only hear Mu Jianping's caring voice asking: "Brother Gui, are you feeling better?" Wei Xiaobao sat up, only to realize that he had slept at the feet of Fang Mu and his clothes in the middle of the night. He came to the bed and said, "I'm going to see the emperor, you lie down and don't move." He wanted to climb out of the window, but his back hurt so badly that he had to open the door and lock the door.
Wei Xiaobao waited for less than half an hour in the upper study room, Kangxi retreated and said with a smile: "Xiao Guizi, I heard that you killed an assassin last night." Wei Xiaobao greeted him and said, "The emperor's body is in good health." Kangxi laughed Said: "You are lucky, you hand in hand with the assassin, but I have not even seen the shadow of the assassin. How is the martial arts of the man you killed? What tricks did you use?" Wei Xiaobao didn't fight with the assassin, the emperor's martial arts are not weak, so he can't just talk nonsense, he had an idea, recalled the scene of fighting with Bai Hanfeng that day in Yangliu Hutong, Bai's family wind, and said: "In the dark, I just fight with Bai Hanfeng." He was stalking and fighting, and suddenly his left leg swept to the right, and his right arm swept to the left..." While speaking, he gestured with his hands and feet at the same time. Kangxi clapped his hands and said: "Yes, yes! It is this move!" Wei Xiaobao was stunned, and asked: "Your Majesty, do you know this move?" Kangxi smiled and said: "Do you know what this move is called?" Wei Xiaobao I knew it was called "Sweeping Thousands of Armies", but said: "I don't know." Kangxi laughed and said, "I'll teach you, it's called 'Sweeping Thousands of Armies'!" Wei Xiaobao was very surprised, and said: "That's a nice name! What surprised him was not the name of this trick, but that Kangxi knew it too. Kangxi said: "He used this move to hit you, how do you deal with it?" Wei Xiaobao said: "For a while, I was flustered, seeing that I couldn't handle it, and suddenly remembered that you used a wonderful blow when you were competing with me. The trick, throwing me over your head, as you said, is the martial art of the Wudang sect, 'Crane combing feathers'." Kangxi was overjoyed, and shouted: "You use my martial arts to break his trick 'sweeping thousands! Army'?" Wei Xiaobao said: "Exactly. The martial arts I learned was not very good at first, but fortunately we have fought a lot in martial arts competitions, and I remember more than half of the techniques you use. I remember you fighting like this again , such a twist..." Kangxi said happily: "Yes, yes, these are the 'Ziyun Shou' and 'Zhemei Shou'." Wei Xiaobao thought to himself: "I flatter him, but I have to give him a full blown!" He said: "I will follow your example and grab his hand in a hurry. If I catch it, I just don't have enough strength to grab it. It's not quite right, give him a strong shake of his left hand, and he broke free." Kangxi said: "It's a pity, it's a pity. Let me teach you, you should grab the point between the two acupoints 'Huizong' and 'Waiguan' here, and he won't be able to break free no matter what." He stretched out his hand and grabbed Wei Xiaobao's wrist acupoint.Wei Xiaobao struggled a few times, but he couldn't break free, he said: "You taught me earlier, then there will be no danger later." Kangxi let go of his hand, and asked with a smile: "What happened later?" Wei Xiaobao said: "As soon as he broke free, he turned around and was already behind my back, hitting my vest with both palms..." Kangxi shouted: "High Mountain and Flowing Water!" Wei Xiaobao said: "Is this move called 'High Mountain and Flowing Water'? At that time I But he was scared to death, and I had no choice but to use your trick again." Kangxi laughed and said: "Nothing! How can you fight with people without using the kung fu taught by Master, and always use my tricks?" Wei Xiaobao said: "The tricks taught by Master are very good when practiced. When you really fight with others, how can you fight? I knew it was useless, but it was your tricks that suddenly came up from the bottom of my heart. Your Majesty, at that time, the edge of his palm had already touched my vest. I took advantage of the momentum to leap forward and turned from the right." Kangxi said: "Very good! That's the 'Back Wind Walk'!" Wei Xiaobao said: "Is it? I dodged his move and took advantage of the momentum Draw out the dagger, strike the sword with the backhand, and shout: "Xiao Guizi, do you want to surrender?" Kangxi laughed loudly and asked, "Why did you call Xiao Guizi?" Wei Xiaobao said: "I don't know why this servant has mastered your moves in a critical situation. This backhand sword was originally your backhand, which hit my back and shouted: 'Xiao Guizi, do you want to surrender or not?' I didn't think about it, but I screamed like that. He snorted and died before he could say 'surrender'." Kangxi smiled and said: "Excellent, excellent! My backhand palm is called 'Guyun Chuxiu'. I didn't expect you to turn it into a sword and succeed in one blow." After Kangxi practiced martial arts, he only faked fighting with Wei Xiaobao. ，总不及真的跟敌人性命相拚那么过瘾，此刻听到韦小宝手刃敌人，所用招数全是从自己这里学去的，自是兴高采烈，心想若是自己出手，定比韦小宝更精采十倍，说道：“这些刺客胆子不小，武功却也稀松平常。” 韦小宝道：“皇上，刺客的武功倒也不怎么差劲。咱们宫里的侍卫，就有好几个伤在他们手里。总算小桂子命大，曾侍候皇上练了这么久武功，偷得了你的三招两式。否则的话，皇上，你今儿可得下道圣旨，抚恤殉职忠臣小太监小桂子纹银一千两。” 康熙笑道：“一千两哪里够？至少是一万两。”两人同时哈哈大笑。 康熙道：“小桂子，你可知这些刺客是什么人？”韦小宝道：“我就是不知道。皇上明白他们的武功家数，多半早料到了。”康熙道：“本来还不能拿得稳，你刚才这一比划，又多了一层证明。”双手一拍，吩咐在上书房侍候的太监：“传索额图、多隆二人进来。” 那两人本在书房外等候，一听皇帝传呼，便进来磕头。 多隆是满洲正白旗的军官，进关之时曾立下不少战功，武功也甚了得，但一直受鳌拜排挤，在官场中很不得意，最近鳌拜倒了下来，才给康熙提升为御前侍卫总管，掌管乾清门、中和殿、太和殿各处宿卫。领内侍卫大臣共有六人，正黄、正白、镶黄三旗每旗两人，其中真正有实权的，只有掌管宫中宿卫的御前侍卫正副总管。多隆新任要职，宫里突然出现刺客，已一晚没睡，心下惴惴，不知皇帝与皇太后是否会怪罪。 康熙见他双眼都是红丝，问道：“擒到的刺客都审明了没有？”多隆道：“回皇上：擒到的活口叛贼共有三人，奴才分别审问，起初他们抵死不说，后来熬刑不过，这才招认，果然……果然是平西王……平西王吴三桂的手下。”康熙点点头，“嗯”了一声。多隆又道：“叛贼遗下的兵器，上面刻着有'平西王府'的字样。格毙了的叛贼所穿内衣，也都有平西王的标记。昨晚入宫来侵扰的叛贼，证据确凿，乃是吴三桂的手下。就算不是吴三桂所派，他……他也脱不了干系。” 康熙问索额图：“你也查过了？”索额图道：“叛贼的兵器、内衣，奴才都查核过了，多总管所录的叛贼口供，确是如此招认。”康熙道：“那些兵器、内衣，拿来给我瞧瞧。” 多隆应道：“是。”他知道皇帝年纪虽小，却十分精明，这件事又干系重大，早就将诸种证物包妥，命手下亲信侍卫捧着在上书房外等候，当下出去拿了进来，解开包袱，放在案上，立即退了几步。满清以百战而得天下，开国诸帝均通武功，原是不避兵刃，但在书房之中，臣子在皇帝面前露出兵刃，毕竟是颇为忌讳之事。多隆小心谨慎，先行退开。 康熙走过去拿起刀剑审视，见一把单刀的柄上刻着“大明山海关总兵府”的字样，微微一笑，道：“欲盖弥彰，固然不对，但弄巧成拙，故意弄鬼做得过了火，却也引人生疑。”向索额图道：“吴三桂如果派人来宫中行刺犯上，自然是深谋远虑，筹划周详，什么刀剑不能用，干么要携带刻了字的兵器？怎会想不到这些刀剑会失落宫中？” 索额图道：“是，是，圣上明见，奴才拜服之至。” 康熙转头问韦小宝：“小桂子，你所杀的那名叛贼，使了什么招数？”韦小宝道：“他使了一招'横扫千军'，又使一招'高山流水'。”康熙问多隆：“那是什么功夫？” 多隆虽是满洲贵臣，于各家各派武功倒也所知甚博，这“横扫千军”与“高山流水”两招，又不是生僻的招数，答道：“回皇上：那似乎是云南前明沐王府的武功。” 康熙双手一拍，说道：“不错，不错。多隆，你的见闻倒也广博。” 多隆登感受宠若惊，脸上露出一丝笑容，跪下磕头，道：“谢皇上称赞。” 康熙道：“你们仔细想想，吴三桂倘若派人入宫行刺，决不会拣着他儿子正在北京的时候。刺客什么日子都好来，难道定要拣着他儿子来朝见的当口？这是可疑者之一。吴三桂善于用兵，办事周密，派这些叛贼进宫干事，人数既少，武功也不甚高，明知难以成功，有什么用处？这跟吴三桂的性格不合，这是可疑者之二。再说，就算他派人刺死了我，于他又有什么好处，难道他想起兵造反吗？他如要造反，干么派他儿子到北京来，岂不是存心将儿子送来给我们杀头？这是可疑者之三。” 韦小宝先前听方怡说到陷害吴三桂的计策，觉得大是妙计，此刻经康熙一加分剖，登觉处处露着破绽，不由得佩服之极，连连点头。 索额图道：“皇上圣明，所见非奴才们所及。” 康熙道：“你们再想想，倘若刺客不是吴三桂所派，却携带了平西王府的兵器，那有什么用意？自然想陷害他了。吴三桂帮我大清打平天下，功劳甚大，恨他忌他的人着实不少。到底这批叛贼是由何人指使，须得好好再加审问。” 索额图和多隆齐声称是。多隆道：“皇上圣明。若不是皇上详加指点开导，奴才们胡里胡涂的上了当，不免冤枉了好人。”康熙道：“冤枉了好人吗？嘿嘿！” 索额图和多隆见皇帝不再吩咐什么，便叩头辞出。 康熙道：“小桂子，那'横扫千军'与'高山流水'这两招，你猜我怎么知道的？”韦小宝心中怦怦跳了两下，说道：“我正在奇怪，皇上怎么知道？”康熙道：“今日一早，我已传了许多侍卫来，问他们昨晚与刺客格斗的情形，一查刺客所使的武功家数，有好几招竟是前明沐家的。你想，沐家本来世镇云南，我大清龙兴之后，将云南封了给吴三桂，沐家岂有不着恼的？何况沐家最后一个黔国公沐天波，便是死在吴三桂手下。我叫人将沐家最厉害的招数演将出来，其中便有这'横扫千军'与'高山流水'两招。” 韦小宝道：“皇上当真料事如神。”不禁担忧：“我屋里藏着沐家的两个女子，不知他知不知道？” 康熙笑问：“小桂子，你想不想发财？”韦小宝听到“发财”两字，登时精神一振，忧心尽去，笑嘻嘻的道：“皇上不叫我发，我不敢发。皇上叫我发财，小桂子可不敢不发。”康熙笑道：“好，我叫你发财！你将这些刀剑，从刺客身上剥下的内衣、刺客的口供，都拿去交给一个人，就有大大一笔财好发。”韦小宝一怔，登时省悟，叫道：“吴应熊！” 康熙笑道：“你很聪明，这就去罢。” 韦小宝道：“吴应熊这小子，这一次运道真高，他全家性命，都是皇上给赏的。”康熙道：“你跟他去说什么？”韦小宝道：“我说：姓吴的，咱们皇上明见万里，你爷儿俩在云南干什么事，皇上没一件不知道。你们不造反，皇上清清楚楚，若是，嘿嘿，有什么三心两意，两面三刀，皇上一样的明明白白。他妈的，你爷儿俩还是给我乖乖的罢。” 康熙哈哈大笑，说道：“你人挺乖巧，就是不读书，说出话来粗里粗气，倒也合我的意思。他妈的，你爷儿俩给我乖乖的罢，哈哈，哈哈！” 韦小宝听得皇上居然学会了一句“他妈的”，不禁心花怒放，哈哈大笑，捧了刀剑等物走出书房，回到自己屋中。
他刚要开锁，突然间背上一阵剧痛，心头烦恶，便欲呕吐，勉强开锁进门，坐在椅上，不住喘气。 沐剑屏道：“你……你身子不舒服么？”韦小宝道：“见了你的羞花闭月之貌，身子就舒服了。”沐剑屏笑道：“我师姊才是羞花闭月之貌，我脸上有只小乌龟，丑也丑死了。” 韦小宝听她说笑，心情立时转佳，笑道：“你脸上怎么会有只小乌龟？啊，我知道啦，好妹子，你脸蛋儿又光又滑，又白又亮，便如是一面镜子，因此会有一只小乌龟。”沐剑屏不解，问道：“为什么？”韦小宝道：“你跟谁睡在一起？你的脸蛋像是一面镜子，照出了那人的相貌，脸上自然就有只小乌龟了。”方怡道：“呸，你自己过来瞧瞧，小郡主脸上才有只小乌龟。”韦小宝道：“我如过来瞧瞧，好妹子脸上便出现一个又漂亮、又神气的大老爷。”方沐二人都笑了起来。方怡笑道：“小乌龟大老爷，那是个什么大老爷？” 三人低笑了一阵。方怡道：“喂，咱们怎么逃出宫去，你得给想个法子。” 韦小宝这些日子来到处受人奉承，但一回到自己屋里，便感十分孤寂无聊，忽然有方沐两个年轻姑娘相陪，虽然每一刻都有给人撞见的危险，可实在舍不得她们就此离去，说道：“这可得慢慢想法子。你们身上有伤，只要踏出这房门一步，立刻便给人拿了。” 方怡轻轻叹了口气，问道：“我们昨晚进宫来的同伴，不知有几人死了，几人给拿了？遭难的人叫什么名字，你可知道么？”韦小宝摇头道：“不知道。你既然关心，我可以给你去打听打听。”方怡低声道：“多谢你啦。” 韦小宝自从和她相逢以来，从未听她说话如此客气，心下略感诧异。 沐剑屏道：“尤其要问问，有一个姓刘的，可平安脱险了没有。”韦小宝问道：“姓刘的？刘什么名字？”沐剑屏道：“那是我们刘师哥。叫做刘一舟。他……他是我师姊的心上人，那可……那可……”突然嗤的一声笑，原来方怡在她肢窝中呵痒，不许她说下去。 韦小宝“啊”的一声，道：“刘一舟，嗯，这……这可不妙。”方怡情不自禁，忙问：“怎么啦？”韦小宝道：“那不是一个身材高高，脸孔白白，大约二十几岁的漂亮年轻人？这人武功可着实了得，是不是？”他自然并不知道刘一舟是何等样人，但想此人既是方怡的意中人，谅必是个漂亮的年轻人，既是她们师哥，说他武功很高也不会错。 果然沐剑屏道：“对了，对了，就是他。方师姊说，昨晚她受伤之时，见到刘师哥给三名侍卫打倒了，一名侍卫按住了他，多半是给擒住了。不知现今怎样？” 韦小宝叹道：“唉，这位刘师傅，原来是方姑娘的心上人……”不住摇头叹气。 方怡满脸忧色，问道：“桂大哥，那刘……那刘师哥怎样了？” 韦小宝心想：“臭小娘，跟我说话时一直没好声气，提到了你刘师哥，却叫我桂大哥起来。我且吓她一吓。”又长叹一声，摇了摇头，道：“可惜，可惜！” 方怡惊问：“怎么啦？他……他……他是受了伤，还是……还是死了？” 韦小宝哈哈大笑，说道：“什么刘一舟、刘两屁，老子从来没见过。他是死了活了，我怎么知道？你叫我三声'好老公'，我就给你查查去。” 方怡先前见他摇头叹气，连称“可惜”，只道刘一舟定然凶多吉少，忽然听他这么说，心下大喜，啐道：“说话没半点正经，到底哪一句话是真，哪一句话是假？” 韦小宝道：“这个刘一舟倘若落在我手里，哼哼，我先绑住了他，狠狠拷打他一顿，打得他屁股变成四片，问他用什么花言巧语，骗得了我老婆的芳心。然后我提起刀来，一刀砍将下去，这么擦的一声……”沐剑屏道：“你杀了他？”韦小宝道：“不是，我割了他卵蛋，叫他变成个太监。”沐剑屏不懂他说些什么。方怡却是明白的，满脸飞红，骂道：“小滑头，就爱胡说八道！”韦小宝道：“你那刘师哥多半已给擒住了。要不要他做太监，我桂公公说出话来，倒有不少人肯听。方姑娘，你求我不求？” 方怡脸上又是一阵红晕，嗫嚅不语。沐剑屏道：“桂大哥，你肯帮人，用不到人家开言相求，那才是侠义英雄。”韦小宝摇手道：“不对，不对！我就最爱听人家求我。越是'好老公、亲老公'的叫得亲热，我给人家办起事来越有精神。” 方怡迟疑半晌，道：“桂大哥，好大哥，我求你啦。”韦小宝板起了脸，道：“要叫老公！”沐剑屏道：“你这话不对了。我师姊将来是要嫁刘师哥的，刘师哥才是她老公，她怎么肯叫你老公？”韦小宝道：“不行，她嫁刘一舟，老子要喝醋，大大的喝醋。”沐剑屏道：“刘师哥人是很好的。” 韦小宝道：“他越好，我越喝醋，越喝越多。啊哟，酸死了，酸死了！喝得醋太多，哈哈，哈哈！”大笑声中，捧了那个包裹，走出屋去，反锁了屋门，带了四名随从太监，骑马去西长安街吴应熊在北京的寓所。 他在马背之上，不住右手虚击，呼叫：“梆梆梆，梆梆梆！”众随从都不明其意，又怎想得到，桂公公这次是奉圣旨去发财，自然要将云南竹杠“梆梆梆”的敲得直响。
吴应熊听说钦使到来，忙出来磕头迎接，将韦小宝接进大厅。 韦小宝道：“皇上吩咐我，拿点东西来给你瞧瞧。小王爷，你胆子大不大？”吴应熊道：“卑职的胆子是最小的，受不起惊吓。”韦小宝一怔，笑道：“你受不起惊吓？干起事来，可大胆得很哪！”吴应熊道：“公公的意思，卑职不大明白，还清明示。”昨晚在康亲王府中，他自称“在下”，今日韦小宝乃奉旨而来，眼见他趾高气扬，隐隐觉得势头不好，连声自称“卑职”。 韦小宝道：“昨晚你一共派了多少刺客进宫去？皇上叫我来问问。” 昨晚宫里闹刺客，吴应熊已听到了些消息，突然听得韦小宝这么问，这一惊非同小可，立即双膝跪倒，向着天井连连磕头，说道：“皇上待微臣父子恩重如山，微臣父子就是做牛做马，也报答不了皇上的恩典。微臣吴三桂、吴应熊父子甘为皇上效死，决无贰心。” 韦小宝笑道：“起来，起来，慢慢磕头不迟。小王爷，我给你瞧些物事。”说着解开包袱，摊在桌上。 吴应熊站起身来，看到包袱中的兵器衣服，不由得双手发抖，颤声道：“这……这……这……”拿起那张口供，见上面写得明明白白，刺客是奉了平西王吴三桂差遣，入宫行刺，决意杀死鞑子皇帝，立吴三桂为主云云。饶是吴应熊机变多智，却也不禁吓得魂不附体，双膝一软，又即跪倒，这一次是跪在韦小宝面前，说道：“桂……公……公……公，这……这决不是真的，微臣父子受了奸人……陷害，万望公公奏明圣上，奏……奏明……” 韦小宝道：“这些兵器，都是反贼携入宫中的，图谋不轨，大逆不道。兵器上却都刻了贵府的招牌老字号。”吴应熊道：“微臣父子仇家甚多，必是仇家的奸计。”韦小宝沉吟道：“你这话，本来也有三分道理，就不知皇上信不信。”吴应熊道：“公公大恩大德，给卑职父子分剖明白。卑职父子的身家性命，都出于公公所赐。” 韦小宝道：“小王爷，你且起来。你昨晚已先送了我一份礼，倒像早已料到有这件事似的，嘿嘿，嘿嘿。”吴应熊本待站起，听他这句话说得重了，忙又跪倒，说道：“只要公公向皇上给卑职父子剖白几句，皇上圣明，必定信公公的说话。” 韦小宝道：“这件事早闹了开来啦，索额图索大人，侍卫头儿多隆多大人，都已见过皇上，回禀了刺客的供状。你知道啦，这等造反的大事，谁有天大的胆子，敢按了下来？给你在皇上面前剖白几句，也不是不可以。我还想到了一个妙计，虽不是十拿九稳，却多半可以洗脱你父子的罪名，只不过太也费事罢了。”吴应熊大喜道：“全仗公公搭救。” 韦小宝道：“请起来好说话。”吴应熊站起身来，连连请安。 韦小宝道：“这些刺客当真不是你派去的？”吴应熊道：“决计不是！卑职怎能做这等十恶不赦、罪该万死之事？”韦小宝道：“好，我交了你这个朋友，就信了你这次。倘若刺客是你派去的，日后查了出来，那可坑死了我，我非陪着你给满门抄斩不可。” 吴应熊道：“公公万安，放一百个心，决无此事。” 韦小宝道：“那么依你看，这些反贼是谁派去的？”吴应熊沉吟道：“微臣父子仇家甚多，一时之间，实在难以确定。”韦小宝道：“你要我在皇上面前剖白，总得找个仇家出来认头，皇上才能信啊。”吴应熊道：“是，是！家严为大清打天下，剿灭的叛逆着实不少，这些叛逆的余党，都是十分痛恨家严的。好比李闯的余逆啦，前明唐王、桂王的余党啦，云南沐家的余党啦，他们心中怀恨，什么作乱犯上的事都做得出来。” 韦小宝点头道：“什么李闯余逆啦，云南沐家的余党啦，这些人武功家数是怎样的？你教我几招，我去演给皇上看，说道我昨晚亲眼见到，刺客使的是这种招数，货真价实，决计错不了。”吴应熊大喜，忙道：“公公此计大妙。卑职于武功一道，所懂的实在有限，要去问一问手下人。公公，你请坐一会儿，卑职立刻就来。”说着请了个安，匆匆入内。 过得片刻，他带了一人进来，正是手下随从的首领杨溢之，昨晚韦小宝曾帮他赢过七百两银子的。杨溢之上前向韦小宝请安，脸上深有忧色，吴应熊自然已对他说了原由。 韦小宝道：“杨大哥，你不用担心，昨晚你在康亲王府里练武，大出风头，不少文武大臣都是亲眼所见，决不能说你入宫行刺。我也可以给你作证。”杨溢之道：“是，是！多谢公公。就只怕奸人陷害，反说世子带我们去康王爷府中，好叫众位大臣作个见证，暗中却另行差人，做那大逆不道之事。”韦小宝点头道：“这话倒也不可不防。”杨溢之道：“世子说道，公公肯主持公道，在皇上跟前替我们剖白，真是我们的大恩人。平西王仇家极多，各人的武功家数甚杂，只有沐王府的武功自成一家，很容易认得出来。” 韦小宝道：“嗯，可惜一时找不到沐王府的人，否则就可让他演他几个招式来瞧瞧。”杨溢之道：“沐家拳、沐家剑在云南流传已久，小人倒也记得一些，我演几套请公公指点。刺客入宫，携有刀剑，小人演一套沐家'回风剑'如何？”韦小宝喜道：“你会沐家武功，那再好也没有了。剑法我是一窍不通，一时也学不会，还是跟你学几招'沐家拳'罢。” 杨溢之道：“不敢，公公力擒鳌拜，四海扬名，拳脚功夫定是极高的。小人使得不到之处，请公公点拨。”说着站到厅中，拉开架式，慢慢的一招一式使将出来。 这路沐家拳自沐英手上传下来，到这时已逾三百年，历代均有高手传人，说得上是千锤百炼之作，在云南知者甚众，杨溢之虽于这套拳法并不擅长，但他武功甚高，见闻广博，一招招演将出来，气度凝重，招式精妙。 韦小宝看到那招“横扫千军”时，赞道：“这一招极好！”后来又见到使“高山流水”，又赞：“这招也了不起！”待他将一套沐家拳使完，说道：“很好，很好！杨大哥，你武功当真了得，康亲王府中那些武师，便十个打你一个，也不是你对手。一时之间，我也学不了许多，只能学得一两招，去皇上面前演一下。皇上传了宫中武功好手来认，你想认不认得出这武功的来历？”说着指手划脚，将“横扫千军”与“高山流水”两招依样使出。 杨溢之喜道：“公公使这'横扫千军'与'高山流水'两招，深得精要，会家子一见，便知是沐家的拳法。公公聪敏过人，一见便会，我们吴家可有救了。” 吴应熊连连作揖，道：“吴家满门百口，全仗公公援手救命。” 韦小宝心想：“吴三桂家里有的是金山银山，我也不用跟他讲价钱。”当下作揖还礼，说道：“大家是好朋友。小王爷
Wei Xiaobao returned to his residence in a hurry, and was about to reach the door, when he suddenly heard someone in the flowers say coldly: "Xiao Guizi, hello!" When Wei Xiaobao heard the voice of the Empress Dowager, he was taken aback, turned around and fled, he ran five or six steps, only to feel a hand on his left shoulder, his whole body was numb, as if a hundred catties of boulders were pressing on his body, and he couldn't do it any more. move.He hastily bent down and stretched out his hand to pull out the dagger. Just as his fingers touched the hilt, he had already slapped the upper arm of his right hand, and couldn't help but let out an "ah".The Empress Dowager said in a deep voice: "Xiao Guizi, you are so young, you are really capable. You have killed four of my eunuchs without compromising your composure, and you will even frame me as a framer. Heh, heh... ..." Wei Xiaobao only complained about the price of pearls in his heart, in his desperation, he thought that the Empress Dowager hated him to the bone, all begging would be useless, he could only risk his life, scare her severely, endure it for a while, and then try to escape, said "Queen Mother, it's too late for you to kill me now, what a pity, what a pity." The Queen Mother said coldly, "What a pity?" What did you say, think about it... think about it, you have heard it all." The queen mother said gloomyly: "You said that I sent these four useless eunuchs to lure assassins into the palace. Hmph, what is my reason?" Wei Xiaobao said: "How do I know what you are doing, the emperor probably knows." Anyway, ninety-nine out of ten out of ten of this life have died, so I just let her be a villain to the end. The Queen Mother was furious, and said with a sneer, "As soon as I spit out my palm, I will kill you immediately, that would be too cheap, you little thief." Wei Xiaobao said: "That's right, you killed Xiao Guizi with your palm, everyone in the palace will know about it tomorrow. 'How did Xiao Guizi die?' 'Of course the Queen Mother killed him.' 'Why did the Queen Mother kill him?' "Because Xiao Guizi broke the Queen Mother's secret." "What secret?" Don't tell others, this matter is really special...it's not a trivial matter.'” The queen mother was so angry that the hands on his shoulders couldn't help shaking, she breathed a sigh of relief, and said: "At worst, only the dozen or so guards will know. After I kill you, I will immediately order Ruidong to arrest all these dozen guys. Wake up and execute immediately, what troubles will there be?" Wei Xiaobao laughed out loud.The Empress Dowager said: "Death is imminent, thanks to your laughter." Wei Xiaobao said: "Empress Dowager, you said you want Ruidong to kill someone? He...he...haha..." The Empress Dowager asked: "How is he?" Wei Xiaobao Said: "He has already given it to me..." I wanted to say "He has already given me a knife to kill him", but suddenly I had an idea, and said "haha" a few times.The Empress Dowager asked again: "How did he treat you already?" Wei Xiaobao said: "He has already accepted me obediently, and he will never listen to you again." The queen mother sneered, and said: "Depending on how capable you are, you little brat can make Deputy Chief Rui not listen to me." Wei Xiaobao said: "I am a little eunuch, so naturally he is not afraid. Deputy Chief Rui is afraid of another one." The queen mother tremblingly said: "He...he is afraid of the emperor?" Wei Xiaobao said: "We are slaves, Of course you are afraid of the Emperor, so you can't blame him, can you?" The Empress Dowager said: "What did you tell Rui Dong?" Wei Xiaobao said: "You said everything." The queen mother murmured: "I have said everything." After a long silence, she said: "He... what about others?" Wei Xiaobao said: "He went far, far, far away, and never came back again. Queen Mother, if you want to see him, of course it's very good, very good, but I'm afraid it won't be easy." The Queen Mother asked in surprise: "He Went out of the palace?" Wei Xiaobao pushed the boat along the water and said, "That's right. He said that he was afraid of both the emperor and you, and it's hard to be a man in the middle. I'm afraid that there will be some worry about life or some serious disaster, so why not Go far away." The Empress Dowager said: "Gao Fei went far away." Wei Xiaobao said: "Yes, yes! Queen Mother, how do you know? Did you hear him say that? He is Gao Fei gone away!" The queen mother snorted and said: "He doesn't even want to be an official anymore? Where did he escape to?" Wei Xiaobao said: "He... he came to..." With a thought, he said: "What Taishan did he talk about, what Go to Mount Liutai, Qitai, and Batai." The Empress Dowager said: "Mount Wutai!" Wei Xiaobao said: "Yes, yes! It is Mount Wutai. Queen Mother, you know everything." The Empress Dowager asked: "What else did he say?" Wei Xiaobao said: "He didn't say anything. It's just...just that he will do what I entrusted to him. He swore a curse and made a promise I swear, what are you cutting into pieces, killing your sons and grandchildren." The Queen Mother said: "What did you entrust him with?" Wei Xiaobao said: "It's nothing. Deputy Chief Rui originally said that it doesn't matter if he doesn't become an official, just It didn't take a year or so to go out. I gave him a bank note of 20,000 taels of silver." The Empress Dowager said: "You are so rich, where did you get all this money?" Wei Xiaobao said: "It was also given by others. Prince Kang gave some, Mr. Suo'etu gave some, and Wu Sangui's son also gave some." The queen mother said: "You are so bold, Rui Dong will naturally be grateful, what do you want him to do? What?" Wei Xiaobao said: "I dare not say it." The Empress Dowager said sharply: "Will you say it?" The palm on his shoulder pressed down hard.Wei Xiaobao let out an "ouch".The queen mother relaxed her grip and shouted, "Say it quickly!" Wei Xiaobao sighed, and said: "Deputy Chief Rui promised me that if the slave is killed in the palace, he will report the reasons in detail to the emperor. He said he was going to write a memorial and put it in the palace." Beside him. He made an agreement with the slave that every two months, the slave... the slave will..." The queen mother asked tremblingly, "How is it?" Wei Xiaobao said, "Every two months, the slave will go to Tianqiao to find a The man who sells candied haws asked him: "Do you have any candied haws with emerald agate?" He said, "Yes, a bunch of one hundred taels of silver." Sell it?' He said: 'No sell, no sell. Haven't you died yet?' I said, 'Go and talk to the old man!' He then went to inform Deputy Chief Rui. For the story, Chen Jinnan had to slightly change the answer Chen Jinnan asked him to contact Xu Tianchuan. The queen mother snorted, and said: "This is the way to communicate with warriors in the Jianghu. You little thief can't figure it out. It was taught by this timid guy Rui Dong, right?" Wei Xiaobao pretended to be surprised, and said: " Hey! How do you know that it was Vice President Rui who disciplined me? Yes, you heard him when he told me.” I felt that the Queen Mother’s hand on my shoulder couldn’t stop shaking, and after a while, I heard She asked: "What if you don't go to the candied haws seller then?" Wei Xiaobao said: "Deputy Chief Rui said that he will wait another ten days. If I still don't go, then naturally the slave's life is in danger. He...he will find a way to report to the emperor. At that time, the slave will die Well, there is no benefit at all, but the slave is loyal to the emperor, please be careful, repay the grudge if you have a grudge, take revenge if you have a grudge, and don't be plotted against by others. That's all because of the loyalty of the slave and Deputy Chief Rui." The Empress Dowager murmured: "If you have a grudge, if you have a grudge, if you have a grudge, that's very good." Wei Xiaobao said: "These days, the slaves serve the emperor every day, but they don't reveal anything. As long as the slaves live well and stay by the emperor's side Waiter, it is better not to let the emperor know about this kind of thing, why bother him?" The queen mother took a breath and said: "You are a very good person." Wei Xiaobao said: "The emperor treats his slaves very well, the queen mother It's not bad to treat slaves. If a slave is loyal to the Queen Mother, maybe the Queen Mother likes it and rewards him with something, isn't everyone pretty?" The queen mother sneered a few times, and said: "You still expect me to reward you, you are really thick-skinned." There was a bit of joy in the sneer, and the tone was greatly relieved. Wei Xiaobao heard that her tone had changed, and the situation eased greatly, he hurriedly said: "What greed is there for a slave? As long as the Queen Mother and the Emperor are safe and sound, and everyone lives in harmony, we slaves are a great blessing. Queen Mother, you Good luck to the old man, my slave will go to Tianqiao tomorrow, find that man, and tell him to inform Deputy Chief Rui Rui as soon as possible, and ask him to keep his mouth shut. My slave... I want him to take another three thousand taels of silver, saying that the Queen Mother rewarded him The Empress Dowager snorted, and said: "This kind of person is ineffective, abandons his post and absconds, it's his luck that I don't chop off his head, and reward him with money?" Wei Xiaobao said: "Yes, yes! The three thousand taels of silver, of course. It came from a slave. How can the Queen Mother reward him with money?" The queen mother slowly let go of the hand on his shoulder, and said slowly: "Xiao Guizi, are you really loyal to me?" Wei Xiaobao knelt down, kowtowed repeatedly, and said: "Your servant is loyal to the Queen Mother, there are countless benefits, if you are not loyal, your head will be moved. Although Xiao Guizi is a fool, this head is quite important." The queen mother nodded and said: "Very good, very good, very good!" Saying "Very good", she slapped him on the back, said three times, and slapped him three times in succession.Wei Xiaobao was dizzy immediately, and wanted to vomit immediately, "uh uh uh" in his throat could not stop. The Empress Dowager said: "Xiao Guizi, that night, that old thief Hai Dafu said that there is a kind of kung fu called 'Bone Transforming Palm' in the world, if it is practiced well, it can break a person's bones when hit on the body. Kungfu is very difficult to practice. Of course I don’t know how to do it either, but I think you’re a very well-behaved kid, and it’s quite interesting to try hitting three palms on your back.” Wei Xiaobao's chest and abdomen were full of Qi and blood, he couldn't bear it any longer, with a sound of "Wow", there was blood and clear water again, and he spat it out, thinking: "The old bitch didn't believe me, so she did it." The Queen Mother said: "Don't be afraid, I won't kill you. If you are dead, who will go to Tianqiao to find the candied haws seller? It just hurts you a little, and you will not be very smart when you do things. "Wei Xiaobao said: "Thank you Empress Dowager for your kindness." Standing up slowly, he sat down with a sway, and vomited a few more mouthfuls of blood.The queen mother laughed, turned around and disappeared into the flowers. Wei Xiaobao struggled to stand up, and slowly walked around to the window at the back of the house, leaned on the window sill to catch his breath for a while, and then climbed into the window.
The little princess Mu Jianping asked in a low voice: "Brother Gui, is that you?" Wei Xiaobao was annoyed, and scolded: "Fuck you, it's not me." Swearing?" Wei Xiaobao just climbed to the window and said, "I..." He couldn't catch his breath, he fell through the window with a bang, and lay down on the ground, unable to stand up again. Fang Yi and Mu Jianping said "Ouch" in unison, and asked in surprise, "What... what's wrong? Are you injured?" Wei Xiaobao's fall was really not light, but he heard the concern in the tone of the two women, he was in a good mood immediately, he laughed, took a few breaths, and thought: "The old bitch's palms, I don't know what it is." It's not 'Bone-melting Palm', maybe she won't be able to practice well, I'm wearing a baby vest, and my bones are hard, she melts and melts, but I can't get rid of it..." Said: "The good girl and the good wife are both injured. , if I don’t also get hurt, what is it called to be blessed and prosper together, and to suffer together in trouble?” Mu Jianping said: "Brother Gui, where is your injury? Does it hurt?" Wei Xiaobao said: "My good girl has a conscience, and asked me if it hurts. Pain is really painful, but I asked you, and suddenly It doesn't hurt anymore. Do you think it's strange?" Mu Jianping smiled and said, "You're cheating again." Wei Xiaobao put his hands on the table, stood up out of breath, and thought: "My old life is still alive, it all depends on the kindness and support of Deputy Chief Rui, as long as the old bitch knows that Deputy Chief Rui is dead, Wei Xiaobao's old I can't survive another half an hour." From the medicine box, he took out the triangular medicine bottle with blue background and white spots.There are many medicinal powders and pills in Hai Laogong's medicine box, but he only recognizes this bottle of "Corpse Transformation Powder".Pull Ruidong's body out from under the bed, and take back the golden ticket and treasure stuffed in his arms. Mu Jianping said: "You haven't come back, this dead man is lying under our bed, but it scared the two of us to death." Wei Xiaobao said: "Scared both of you to death, isn't there two more dead men? A female companion who is ashamed of flowers and closes the moon?" Fang Yi said: "Hey, little princess, don't talk to him too much." Wei Xiaobao said: "I'm doing a trick, do you want to watch it?" Fang Yi said: "No." Wei Xiaobao said: "If you don't watch it, close your eyes." Fang Yi immediately closed her eyes.Mu Jianping also closed his eyes, but then opened them again. Wei Xiaobao took out a small silver spoon from the medicine box, pulled off the cork of the medicine bottle, took a small amount of "corpse powder" with the small silver spoon, and poured it into the wound of Ruidong's corpse. Smoke came out, followed by a strong smell, and after a while, a lot of yellow water flowed out of the wound, and the wound became more and more rotten.Mu Jianping said "Huh".Fang Yi became curious and opened her eyes. Seeing this scene, her eyes widened and could not be closed anymore. When the corpse encounters yellow water, it rots immediately. The more yellow water there is, the faster the corpse rots. Wei Xiaobao saw that both of them were terrified, and said: "Which of you don't listen to me, I will sprinkle a little of this treasure powder on your face, and it will rot like this immediately." Mu Jianping said: "You Don't be scary." Fang Yi glared at him angrily, but she couldn't hide her horror.Wei Xiaobao took a step forward with a smile, took the medicine bottle and shook it twice at her, putting it in his arms. Not long after, Rui Dong's body rotted into two pieces.Wei Xiaobao lifted the chair, pushed the two corpses into the yellow water with the legs of the chair, within half an hour, all of them turned into yellow water.He let out a long breath and thought: "Even if the old bitch sends a million soldiers to Mount Wutai, he will not be able to catch Ruidong." He scooped up water from the water tank and washed the ground to wash away the fluids from the corpse. The yellow water didn't wash up with a few ladles of water, and he tilted his body and fell on the bed. He was extremely sleepy and fell asleep. When I woke up, it was broad daylight, but I felt nausea in my chest, and I vomited a while, but I couldn't vomit anything.I could only hear Mu Jianping's caring voice asking: "Brother Gui, are you feeling better?" Wei Xiaobao sat up, only to realize that he had slept at the feet of Fang Mu and his clothes in the middle of the night. He came to the bed and said, "I'm going to see the emperor, you lie down and don't move." He wanted to climb out of the window, but his back hurt so badly that he had to open the door and lock the door.
Wei Xiaobao waited for less than half an hour in the upper study room, Kangxi retreated and said with a smile: "Xiao Guizi, I heard that you killed an assassin last night." Wei Xiaobao greeted him and said, "The emperor's body is in good health." Kangxi laughed Said: "You are lucky, you hand in hand with the assassin, but I have not even seen the shadow of the assassin. How is the martial arts of the man you killed? What tricks did you use?" Wei Xiaobao didn't fight with the assassin, the emperor's martial arts are not weak, so he can't just talk nonsense, he had an idea, recalled the scene of fighting with Bai Hanfeng that day in Yangliu Hutong, Bai's family wind, and said: "In the dark, I just fight with Bai Hanfeng." He was stalking and fighting, and suddenly his left leg swept to the right, and his right arm swept to the left..." While speaking, he gestured with his hands and feet at the same time. Kangxi clapped his hands and said: "Yes, yes! It is this move!" Wei Xiaobao was stunned, and asked: "Your Majesty, do you know this move?" Kangxi smiled and said: "Do you know what this move is called?" Wei Xiaobao I knew it was called "Sweeping Thousands of Armies", but said: "I don't know." Kangxi laughed and said, "I'll teach you, it's called 'Sweeping Thousands of Armies'!" Wei Xiaobao was very surprised, and said: "That's a nice name! What surprised him was not the name of this trick, but that Kangxi knew it too. Kangxi said: "He used this move to hit you, how do you deal with it?" Wei Xiaobao said: "For a while, I was flustered, seeing that I couldn't handle it, and suddenly remembered that you used a wonderful blow when you were competing with me. The trick, throwing me over your head, as you said, is the martial art of the Wudang sect, 'Crane combing feathers'." Kangxi was overjoyed, and shouted: "You use my martial arts to break his trick 'sweeping thousands! Army'?" Wei Xiaobao said: "Exactly. The martial arts I learned was not very good at first, but fortunately we have fought a lot in martial arts competitions, and I remember more than half of the techniques you use. I remember you fighting like this again , such a twist..." Kangxi said happily: "Yes, yes, these are the 'Ziyun Shou' and 'Zhemei Shou'." Wei Xiaobao thought to himself: "I flatter him, but I have to give him a full blown!" He said: "I will follow your example and grab his hand in a hurry. If I catch it, I just don't have enough strength to grab it. It's not quite right, give him a strong shake of his left hand, and he broke free." Kangxi said: "It's a pity, it's a pity. Let me teach you, you should grab the point between the two acupoints 'Huizong' and 'Waiguan' here, and he won't be able to break free no matter what." He stretched out his hand and grabbed Wei Xiaobao's wrist acupoint.Wei Xiaobao struggled a few times, but he couldn't break free, he said: "You taught me earlier, then there will be no danger later." Kangxi let go of his hand, and asked with a smile: "What happened later?" Wei Xiaobao said: "As soon as he broke free, he turned around and was already behind my back, hitting my vest with both palms..." Kangxi shouted: "High Mountain and Flowing Water!" Wei Xiaobao said: "Is this move called 'High Mountain and Flowing Water'? At that time I But he was scared to death, and I had no choice but to use your trick again." Kangxi laughed and said: "Nothing! How can you fight with people without using the kung fu taught by Master, and always use my tricks?" Wei Xiaobao said: "The tricks taught by Master are very good when practiced. When you really fight with others, how can you fight? I knew it was useless, but it was your tricks that suddenly came up from the bottom of my heart. Your Majesty, at that time, the edge of his palm had already touched my vest. I took advantage of the momentum to leap forward and turned from the right." Kangxi said: "Very good! That's the 'Back Wind Walk'!" Wei Xiaobao said: "Is it? I dodged his move and took advantage of the momentum Draw out the dagger, strike the sword with the backhand, and shout: "Xiao Guizi, do you want to surrender?" Kangxi laughed loudly and asked, "Why did you call Xiao Guizi?" Wei Xiaobao said: "I don't know why this servant has mastered your moves in a critical situation. This backhand sword was originally your backhand, which hit my back and shouted: 'Xiao Guizi, do you want to surrender or not?' I didn't think about it, but I screamed like that. He snorted and died before he could say 'surrender'." Kangxi smiled and said: "Excellent, excellent! My backhand palm is called 'Guyun Chuxiu'. I didn't expect you to turn it into a sword and succeed in one blow." After Kangxi practiced martial arts, he only faked fighting with Wei Xiaobao. ，总不及真的跟敌人性命相拚那么过瘾，此刻听到韦小宝手刃敌人，所用招数全是从自己这里学去的，自是兴高采烈，心想若是自己出手，定比韦小宝更精采十倍，说道：“这些刺客胆子不小，武功却也稀松平常。” 韦小宝道：“皇上，刺客的武功倒也不怎么差劲。咱们宫里的侍卫，就有好几个伤在他们手里。总算小桂子命大，曾侍候皇上练了这么久武功，偷得了你的三招两式。否则的话，皇上，你今儿可得下道圣旨，抚恤殉职忠臣小太监小桂子纹银一千两。” 康熙笑道：“一千两哪里够？至少是一万两。”两人同时哈哈大笑。 康熙道：“小桂子，你可知这些刺客是什么人？”韦小宝道：“我就是不知道。皇上明白他们的武功家数，多半早料到了。”康熙道：“本来还不能拿得稳，你刚才这一比划，又多了一层证明。”双手一拍，吩咐在上书房侍候的太监：“传索额图、多隆二人进来。” 那两人本在书房外等候，一听皇帝传呼，便进来磕头。 多隆是满洲正白旗的军官，进关之时曾立下不少战功，武功也甚了得，但一直受鳌拜排挤，在官场中很不得意，最近鳌拜倒了下来，才给康熙提升为御前侍卫总管，掌管乾清门、中和殿、太和殿各处宿卫。领内侍卫大臣共有六人，正黄、正白、镶黄三旗每旗两人，其中真正有实权的，只有掌管宫中宿卫的御前侍卫正副总管。多隆新任要职，宫里突然出现刺客，已一晚没睡，心下惴惴，不知皇帝与皇太后是否会怪罪。 康熙见他双眼都是红丝，问道：“擒到的刺客都审明了没有？”多隆道：“回皇上：擒到的活口叛贼共有三人，奴才分别审问，起初他们抵死不说，后来熬刑不过，这才招认，果然……果然是平西王……平西王吴三桂的手下。”康熙点点头，“嗯”了一声。多隆又道：“叛贼遗下的兵器，上面刻着有'平西王府'的字样。格毙了的叛贼所穿内衣，也都有平西王的标记。昨晚入宫来侵扰的叛贼，证据确凿，乃是吴三桂的手下。就算不是吴三桂所派，他……他也脱不了干系。” 康熙问索额图：“你也查过了？”索额图道：“叛贼的兵器、内衣，奴才都查核过了，多总管所录的叛贼口供，确是如此招认。”康熙道：“那些兵器、内衣，拿来给我瞧瞧。” 多隆应道：“是。”他知道皇帝年纪虽小，却十分精明，这件事又干系重大，早就将诸种证物包妥，命手下亲信侍卫捧着在上书房外等候，当下出去拿了进来，解开包袱，放在案上，立即退了几步。满清以百战而得天下，开国诸帝均通武功，原是不避兵刃，但在书房之中，臣子在皇帝面前露出兵刃，毕竟是颇为忌讳之事。多隆小心谨慎，先行退开。 康熙走过去拿起刀剑审视，见一把单刀的柄上刻着“大明山海关总兵府”的字样，微微一笑，道：“欲盖弥彰，固然不对，但弄巧成拙，故意弄鬼做得过了火，却也引人生疑。”向索额图道：“吴三桂如果派人来宫中行刺犯上，自然是深谋远虑，筹划周详，什么刀剑不能用，干么要携带刻了字的兵器？怎会想不到这些刀剑会失落宫中？” 索额图道：“是，是，圣上明见，奴才拜服之至。” 康熙转头问韦小宝：“小桂子，你所杀的那名叛贼，使了什么招数？”韦小宝道：“他使了一招'横扫千军'，又使一招'高山流水'。”康熙问多隆：“那是什么功夫？” 多隆虽是满洲贵臣，于各家各派武功倒也所知甚博，这“横扫千军”与“高山流水”两招，又不是生僻的招数，答道：“回皇上：那似乎是云南前明沐王府的武功。” 康熙双手一拍，说道：“不错，不错。多隆，你的见闻倒也广博。” 多隆登感受宠若惊，脸上露出一丝笑容，跪下磕头，道：“谢皇上称赞。” 康熙道：“你们仔细想想，吴三桂倘若派人入宫行刺，决不会拣着他儿子正在北京的时候。刺客什么日子都好来，难道定要拣着他儿子来朝见的当口？这是可疑者之一。吴三桂善于用兵，办事周密，派这些叛贼进宫干事，人数既少，武功也不甚高，明知难以成功，有什么用处？这跟吴三桂的性格不合，这是可疑者之二。再说，就算他派人刺死了我，于他又有什么好处，难道他想起兵造反吗？他如要造反，干么派他儿子到北京来，岂不是存心将儿子送来给我们杀头？这是可疑者之三。” 韦小宝先前听方怡说到陷害吴三桂的计策，觉得大是妙计，此刻经康熙一加分剖，登觉处处露着破绽，不由得佩服之极，连连点头。 索额图道：“皇上圣明，所见非奴才们所及。” 康熙道：“你们再想想，倘若刺客不是吴三桂所派，却携带了平西王府的兵器，那有什么用意？自然想陷害他了。吴三桂帮我大清打平天下，功劳甚大，恨他忌他的人着实不少。到底这批叛贼是由何人指使，须得好好再加审问。” 索额图和多隆齐声称是。多隆道：“皇上圣明。若不是皇上详加指点开导，奴才们胡里胡涂的上了当，不免冤枉了好人。”康熙道：“冤枉了好人吗？嘿嘿！” 索额图和多隆见皇帝不再吩咐什么，便叩头辞出。 康熙道：“小桂子，那'横扫千军'与'高山流水'这两招，你猜我怎么知道的？”韦小宝心中怦怦跳了两下，说道：“我正在奇怪，皇上怎么知道？”康熙道：“今日一早，我已传了许多侍卫来，问他们昨晚与刺客格斗的情形，一查刺客所使的武功家数，有好几招竟是前明沐家的。你想，沐家本来世镇云南，我大清龙兴之后，将云南封了给吴三桂，沐家岂有不着恼的？何况沐家最后一个黔国公沐天波，便是死在吴三桂手下。我叫人将沐家最厉害的招数演将出来，其中便有这'横扫千军'与'高山流水'两招。” 韦小宝道：“皇上当真料事如神。”不禁担忧：“我屋里藏着沐家的两个女子，不知他知不知道？” 康熙笑问：“小桂子，你想不想发财？”韦小宝听到“发财”两字，登时精神一振，忧心尽去，笑嘻嘻的道：“皇上不叫我发，我不敢发。皇上叫我发财，小桂子可不敢不发。”康熙笑道：“好，我叫你发财！你将这些刀剑，从刺客身上剥下的内衣、刺客的口供，都拿去交给一个人，就有大大一笔财好发。”韦小宝一怔，登时省悟，叫道：“吴应熊！” 康熙笑道：“你很聪明，这就去罢。” 韦小宝道：“吴应熊这小子，这一次运道真高，他全家性命，都是皇上给赏的。”康熙道：“你跟他去说什么？”韦小宝道：“我说：姓吴的，咱们皇上明见万里，你爷儿俩在云南干什么事，皇上没一件不知道。你们不造反，皇上清清楚楚，若是，嘿嘿，有什么三心两意，两面三刀，皇上一样的明明白白。他妈的，你爷儿俩还是给我乖乖的罢。” 康熙哈哈大笑，说道：“你人挺乖巧，就是不读书，说出话来粗里粗气，倒也合我的意思。他妈的，你爷儿俩给我乖乖的罢，哈哈，哈哈！” 韦小宝听得皇上居然学会了一句“他妈的”，不禁心花怒放，哈哈大笑，捧了刀剑等物走出书房，回到自己屋中。
他刚要开锁，突然间背上一阵剧痛，心头烦恶，便欲呕吐，勉强开锁进门，坐在椅上，不住喘气。 沐剑屏道：“你……你身子不舒服么？”韦小宝道：“见了你的羞花闭月之貌，身子就舒服了。”沐剑屏笑道：“我师姊才是羞花闭月之貌，我脸上有只小乌龟，丑也丑死了。” 韦小宝听她说笑，心情立时转佳，笑道：“你脸上怎么会有只小乌龟？啊，我知道啦，好妹子，你脸蛋儿又光又滑，又白又亮，便如是一面镜子，因此会有一只小乌龟。”沐剑屏不解，问道：“为什么？”韦小宝道：“你跟谁睡在一起？你的脸蛋像是一面镜子，照出了那人的相貌，脸上自然就有只小乌龟了。”方怡道：“呸，你自己过来瞧瞧，小郡主脸上才有只小乌龟。”韦小宝道：“我如过来瞧瞧，好妹子脸上便出现一个又漂亮、又神气的大老爷。”方沐二人都笑了起来。方怡笑道：“小乌龟大老爷，那是个什么大老爷？” 三人低笑了一阵。方怡道：“喂，咱们怎么逃出宫去，你得给想个法子。” 韦小宝这些日子来到处受人奉承，但一回到自己屋里，便感十分孤寂无聊，忽然有方沐两个年轻姑娘相陪，虽然每一刻都有给人撞见的危险，可实在舍不得她们就此离去，说道：“这可得慢慢想法子。你们身上有伤，只要踏出这房门一步，立刻便给人拿了。” 方怡轻轻叹了口气，问道：“我们昨晚进宫来的同伴，不知有几人死了，几人给拿了？遭难的人叫什么名字，你可知道么？”韦小宝摇头道：“不知道。你既然关心，我可以给你去打听打听。”方怡低声道：“多谢你啦。” 韦小宝自从和她相逢以来，从未听她说话如此客气，心下略感诧异。 沐剑屏道：“尤其要问问，有一个姓刘的，可平安脱险了没有。”韦小宝问道：“姓刘的？刘什么名字？”沐剑屏道：“那是我们刘师哥。叫做刘一舟。他……他是我师姊的心上人，那可……那可……”突然嗤的一声笑，原来方怡在她肢窝中呵痒，不许她说下去。 韦小宝“啊”的一声，道：“刘一舟，嗯，这……这可不妙。”方怡情不自禁，忙问：“怎么啦？”韦小宝道：“那不是一个身材高高，脸孔白白，大约二十几岁的漂亮年轻人？这人武功可着实了得，是不是？”他自然并不知道刘一舟是何等样人，但想此人既是方怡的意中人，谅必是个漂亮的年轻人，既是她们师哥，说他武功很高也不会错。 果然沐剑屏道：“对了，对了，就是他。方师姊说，昨晚她受伤之时，见到刘师哥给三名侍卫打倒了，一名侍卫按住了他，多半是给擒住了。不知现今怎样？” 韦小宝叹道：“唉，这位刘师傅，原来是方姑娘的心上人……”不住摇头叹气。 方怡满脸忧色，问道：“桂大哥，那刘……那刘师哥怎样了？” 韦小宝心想：“臭小娘，跟我说话时一直没好声气，提到了你刘师哥，却叫我桂大哥起来。我且吓她一吓。”又长叹一声，摇了摇头，道：“可惜，可惜！” 方怡惊问：“怎么啦？他……他……他是受了伤，还是……还是死了？” 韦小宝哈哈大笑，说道：“什么刘一舟、刘两屁，老子从来没见过。他是死了活了，我怎么知道？你叫我三声'好老公'，我就给你查查去。” 方怡先前见他摇头叹气，连称“可惜”，只道刘一舟定然凶多吉少，忽然听他这么说，心下大喜，啐道：“说话没半点正经，到底哪一句话是真，哪一句话是假？” 韦小宝道：“这个刘一舟倘若落在我手里，哼哼，我先绑住了他，狠狠拷打他一顿，打得他屁股变成四片，问他用什么花言巧语，骗得了我老婆的芳心。然后我提起刀来，一刀砍将下去，这么擦的一声……”沐剑屏道：“你杀了他？”韦小宝道：“不是，我割了他卵蛋，叫他变成个太监。”沐剑屏不懂他说些什么。方怡却是明白的，满脸飞红，骂道：“小滑头，就爱胡说八道！”韦小宝道：“你那刘师哥多半已给擒住了。要不要他做太监，我桂公公说出话来，倒有不少人肯听。方姑娘，你求我不求？” 方怡脸上又是一阵红晕，嗫嚅不语。沐剑屏道：“桂大哥，你肯帮人，用不到人家开言相求，那才是侠义英雄。”韦小宝摇手道：“不对，不对！我就最爱听人家求我。越是'好老公、亲老公'的叫得亲热，我给人家办起事来越有精神。” 方怡迟疑半晌，道：“桂大哥，好大哥，我求你啦。”韦小宝板起了脸，道：“要叫老公！”沐剑屏道：“你这话不对了。我师姊将来是要嫁刘师哥的，刘师哥才是她老公，她怎么肯叫你老公？”韦小宝道：“不行，她嫁刘一舟，老子要喝醋，大大的喝醋。”沐剑屏道：“刘师哥人是很好的。” 韦小宝道：“他越好，我越喝醋，越喝越多。啊哟，酸死了，酸死了！喝得醋太多，哈哈，哈哈！”大笑声中，捧了那个包裹，走出屋去，反锁了屋门，带了四名随从太监，骑马去西长安街吴应熊在北京的寓所。 他在马背之上，不住右手虚击，呼叫：“梆梆梆，梆梆梆！”众随从都不明其意，又怎想得到，桂公公这次是奉圣旨去发财，自然要将云南竹杠“梆梆梆”的敲得直响。
吴应熊听说钦使到来，忙出来磕头迎接，将韦小宝接进大厅。 韦小宝道：“皇上吩咐我，拿点东西来给你瞧瞧。小王爷，你胆子大不大？”吴应熊道：“卑职的胆子是最小的，受不起惊吓。”韦小宝一怔，笑道：“你受不起惊吓？干起事来，可大胆得很哪！”吴应熊道：“公公的意思，卑职不大明白，还清明示。”昨晚在康亲王府中，他自称“在下”，今日韦小宝乃奉旨而来，眼见他趾高气扬，隐隐觉得势头不好，连声自称“卑职”。 韦小宝道：“昨晚你一共派了多少刺客进宫去？皇上叫我来问问。” 昨晚宫里闹刺客，吴应熊已听到了些消息，突然听得韦小宝这么问，这一惊非同小可，立即双膝跪倒，向着天井连连磕头，说道：“皇上待微臣父子恩重如山，微臣父子就是做牛做马，也报答不了皇上的恩典。微臣吴三桂、吴应熊父子甘为皇上效死，决无贰心。” 韦小宝笑道：“起来，起来，慢慢磕头不迟。小王爷，我给你瞧些物事。”说着解开包袱，摊在桌上。 吴应熊站起身来，看到包袱中的兵器衣服，不由得双手发抖，颤声道：“这……这……这……”拿起那张口供，见上面写得明明白白，刺客是奉了平西王吴三桂差遣，入宫行刺，决意杀死鞑子皇帝，立吴三桂为主云云。饶是吴应熊机变多智，却也不禁吓得魂不附体，双膝一软，又即跪倒，这一次是跪在韦小宝面前，说道：“桂……公……公……公，这……这决不是真的，微臣父子受了奸人……陷害，万望公公奏明圣上，奏……奏明……” 韦小宝道：“这些兵器，都是反贼携入宫中的，图谋不轨，大逆不道。兵器上却都刻了贵府的招牌老字号。”吴应熊道：“微臣父子仇家甚多，必是仇家的奸计。”韦小宝沉吟道：“你这话，本来也有三分道理，就不知皇上信不信。”吴应熊道：“公公大恩大德，给卑职父子分剖明白。卑职父子的身家性命，都出于公公所赐。” 韦小宝道：“小王爷，你且起来。你昨晚已先送了我一份礼，倒像早已料到有这件事似的，嘿嘿，嘿嘿。”吴应熊本待站起，听他这句话说得重了，忙又跪倒，说道：“只要公公向皇上给卑职父子剖白几句，皇上圣明，必定信公公的说话。” 韦小宝道：“这件事早闹了开来啦，索额图索大人，侍卫头儿多隆多大人，都已见过皇上，回禀了刺客的供状。你知道啦，这等造反的大事，谁有天大的胆子，敢按了下来？给你在皇上面前剖白几句，也不是不可以。我还想到了一个妙计，虽不是十拿九稳，却多半可以洗脱你父子的罪名，只不过太也费事罢了。”吴应熊大喜道：“全仗公公搭救。” 韦小宝道：“请起来好说话。”吴应熊站起身来，连连请安。 韦小宝道：“这些刺客当真不是你派去的？”吴应熊道：“决计不是！卑职怎能做这等十恶不赦、罪该万死之事？”韦小宝道：“好，我交了你这个朋友，就信了你这次。倘若刺客是你派去的，日后查了出来，那可坑死了我，我非陪着你给满门抄斩不可。” 吴应熊道：“公公万安，放一百个心，决无此事。” 韦小宝道：“那么依你看，这些反贼是谁派去的？”吴应熊沉吟道：“微臣父子仇家甚多，一时之间，实在难以确定。”韦小宝道：“你要我在皇上面前剖白，总得找个仇家出来认头，皇上才能信啊。”吴应熊道：“是，是！家严为大清打天下，剿灭的叛逆着实不少，这些叛逆的余党，都是十分痛恨家严的。好比李闯的余逆啦，前明唐王、桂王的余党啦，云南沐家的余党啦，他们心中怀恨，什么作乱犯上的事都做得出来。” 韦小宝点头道：“什么李闯余逆啦，云南沐家的余党啦，这些人武功家数是怎样的？你教我几招，我去演给皇上看，说道我昨晚亲眼见到，刺客使的是这种招数，货真价实，决计错不了。”吴应熊大喜，忙道：“公公此计大妙。卑职于武功一道，所懂的实在有限，要去问一问手下人。公公，你请坐一会儿，卑职立刻就来。”说着请了个安，匆匆入内。 过得片刻，他带了一人进来，正是手下随从的首领杨溢之，昨晚韦小宝曾帮他赢过七百两银子的。杨溢之上前向韦小宝请安，脸上深有忧色，吴应熊自然已对他说了原由。 韦小宝道：“杨大哥，你不用担心，昨晚你在康亲王府里练武，大出风头，不少文武大臣都是亲眼所见，决不能说你入宫行刺。我也可以给你作证。”杨溢之道：“是，是！多谢公公。就只怕奸人陷害，反说世子带我们去康王爷府中，好叫众位大臣作个见证，暗中却另行差人，做那大逆不道之事。”韦小宝点头道：“这话倒也不可不防。”杨溢之道：“世子说道，公公肯主持公道，在皇上跟前替我们剖白，真是我们的大恩人。平西王仇家极多，各人的武功家数甚杂，只有沐王府的武功自成一家，很容易认得出来。” 韦小宝道：“嗯，可惜一时找不到沐王府的人，否则就可让他演他几个招式来瞧瞧。”杨溢之道：“沐家拳、沐家剑在云南流传已久，小人倒也记得一些，我演几套请公公指点。刺客入宫，携有刀剑，小人演一套沐家'回风剑'如何？”韦小宝喜道：“你会沐家武功，那再好也没有了。剑法我是一窍不通，一时也学不会，还是跟你学几招'沐家拳'罢。” 杨溢之道：“不敢，公公力擒鳌拜，四海扬名，拳脚功夫定是极高的。小人使得不到之处，请公公点拨。”说着站到厅中，拉开架式，慢慢的一招一式使将出来。 这路沐家拳自沐英手上传下来，到这时已逾三百年，历代均有高手传人，说得上是千锤百炼之作，在云南知者甚众，杨溢之虽于这套拳法并不擅长，但他武功甚高，见闻广博，一招招演将出来，气度凝重，招式精妙。 韦小宝看到那招“横扫千军”时，赞道：“这一招极好！”后来又见到使“高山流水”，又赞：“这招也了不起！”待他将一套沐家拳使完，说道：“很好，很好！杨大哥，你武功当真了得，康亲王府中那些武师，便十个打你一个，也不是你对手。一时之间，我也学不了许多，只能学得一两招，去皇上面前演一下。皇上传了宫中武功好手来认，你想认不认得出这武功的来历？”说着指手划脚，将“横扫千军”与“高山流水”两招依样使出。 杨溢之喜道：“公公使这'横扫千军'与'高山流水'两招，深得精要，会家子一见，便知是沐家的拳法。公公聪敏过人，一见便会，我们吴家可有救了。” 吴应熊连连作揖，道：“吴家满门百口，全仗公公援手救命。” 韦小宝心想：“吴三桂家里有的是金山银山，我也不用跟他讲价钱。”当下作揖还礼，说道：“大家是好朋友。小王爷