Chapter 50 Psalm 46 Eternal Life

He: "I'm sorry, I should be the one who came to the door, but I was afraid of disturbing you, so I invited you here. Don't take offense." The person in front of me who addressed me with respect was about forty years old, and he could be seen as a successful person. A few days ago, I received a call from a stranger, saying that a friend of mine recommended me to him, and asked me to find him if I had time. The words were extremely polite and respectful, which made me a little embarrassed.Later, I confirmed to the friend he was talking about that there was indeed such a thing, so I took the time to go.The place where they met was an office building in a famous sky-high location—that was where his company was located.And he is the boss of the company.

Me: "You are too polite. We are all friends. I will try my best to help. If I can't help, I will find a way or help you find another person. Also, I am much younger than you, so you should not use it. Is it honorable?" He made a smiling expression: "Okay, then let's not talk so straightly. First of all, maybe I have a mental illness, but I don't think so." I think he is really straightforward: "Then...you are looking for me..." He: "It's a bit contradictory. Although I don't admit that I am a mental patient, I think that maybe other people have the same situation as me and may be considered a mental patient. It sounds a bit messy, right? It's okay, I I just want to find someone, someone like me."

Me: "Uh...it's a bit messy...but what kind of person are you looking for?" He looked at me seriously: "Like me, a person who can be reborn continuously and still has memories of his previous life." I quickly filtered out the problem: "Past life?" He: "Okay, let me tell you about my situation. I can remember my previous life, not one previous life, but many." I was somewhat surprised: "How many previous lives?" He: "I know you are a little disdainful, but I hope you can finish listening." I'm good." I didn't explain my attitude, but twisted my body on the sofa to make myself more comfortable.

He: "I still remember my original parents, I can't remember the costumes, the issue of the dynasty... It's hard to say. I remember some dialogues, but I can't remember the accent-because every time I was a native of the time, I can’t hear an accent. I remember things around me more clearly, and I can’t remember some major events. For example, the dynasty, year, who was in power, these are all gone. My impressions are all related to me. " Me: "For example, about your relatives and friends?" He: "That's right, I remember all of these clearly. It counts about forty or fifty rebirths, right? I didn't remember those previous lives. Basically when I was in my teens, I suddenly remembered it one day. I remember who I was in my previous life, what I did, what gender I was, what I experienced, and my former relatives, I remember them all. And..." He paused: "I remember how I died."

I found a problem, the person in front of me has no expression, just like a newly opened printing paper, clear and clean, but without any emotion.It's just that the eyes are very deep, which makes me feel terrible, but when I think about it carefully, I can't see what's scary.Let's put it this way: shuddering, especially when meeting his eyes. Me: "Gender...sorry for asking something impolite: Human every time?" Him: "It's nothing rude, it's normal. It's human every time." Me: "And you just mentioned how... you die every time?" He: "Yes, and very clearly. I even remember how my parents died, how my wife or husband died, how my children died. I remember them all."

I decided to test it out: "You, will you have nightmares now?" He: "I don't dream about it, but it's more serious, because I can't sleep at all, severe insomnia. Every time in the dead of night, I will think of many past lives I have experienced. I don't think about it deliberately, but I can't help it. " Me: "Can you give some examples in this regard?" He: "I used to be an ordinary citizen. In an age of chaos and chaos, I escaped several catastrophes. My family and I depended on each other for our lives. But in the end, our whole family was caught by some soldiers in armor. I watched them kill My parents, raped and murdered my wife, disemboweled my children in front of me, and ended up beheading me. I even remember what it felt like to be beheaded."

Me: "The feeling after being beheaded..." He: "Yes. At first, I felt my neck was very cold, and then it seemed to become lighter, and then my neck felt like it was on fire. I wanted to shout because of the pain, but I couldn't move my mouth. When my head fell, I could see whether I was right or not. The body of the head leaned back violently, blood spurted out from the neck, one after another, and the body gradually fell forward. When my head hit the ground, it hurt so much, and I knew someone grabbed it My hair raised my head. What I heard and saw at that time, but they all began to blur, and there was a faint taste of blood in my mouth. After that, it became darker and darker, until I couldn’t hear or see anything, and I didn’t feel anything.”

I feel a little restless. Me: "What else?" He: "Many, I am someone's concubine, squeezed out by many women, and finally poisoned to death; I am a soldier. I couldn't block it, and I didn't stab it to death once, and I repeated it many times until my eyes turned black and I didn't know anything; I was a businessman, and I was killed by robbers halfway, just like that, and it took a long time before I died; I was a servant of a family, but I was beaten to death because I said something wrong; I was a farmer, and I was bitten by a snake while working in the field, and died of poison..."

Me: "Wait a minute, don't people die of normal old age?" He: "Yes, but the impression is not deep, the more painful, the clearer the memory." Me: "Is it painful for you to have so many deaths and the deaths of family members?" He: "Now I'm numb, and I don't care about those. Do you remember why I came to you? Now, I have no friends, my parents are dead, I have no family, I don't get married, I don't want children, because I have no I don't care about those, it's not important. I just hope to have a companion who can understand this kind of desolation, no matter who it is... Maybe you will think it's mental illness, I don't care, I just hope that there is someone who can have the same experience as me I know you must think I'm talking nonsense now, and I don't care about this, I just want to find that existence, let's chat together, even if we verbally agree that we will be together in the next life, be friends, be friends Family, being a husband and wife is fine. I committed suicide several times in my previous life, but it was useless, I just ended that life, and I couldn't end my rebirth."

Me: "Rebirth..." He: "Since I realized the problem, I have read all kinds of books in every life, trying to find a way to end, or an existence like me, but there is no. I try to create history, but I can't, I am just a Ordinary people. I used to work hard to kill the enemy on the battlefield, it was really bloody, but in the end I couldn't affect the battle situation, or my success fell short; I studied hard to get fame and use my own strength to control a dynasty, but I always fell into it In the end, I did nothing. I knew that I was useless, after all, there were too few people whose names were recorded in the history books. I understood a few lives ago that to be a person who affects history requires too many factors, and I have to be more important than everyone else. Be firm, be crueler than all, calmer than all, more unrepentant than all, luckier than all, crazier than all, tougher than all...too much Yes! So, I admit it, I admit that I am just a grassroots person. But I have also seen countless people who want to pursue immortality, from emperors and generals to those ordinary people who want to cultivate into immortals. Seeking immortals and gods are all the same. But is it really good to live forever? Seeing that my relatives and friends are gone, I still exist, living alone from generation to generation. Seeing that the people around me are all strangers People, no real company, no family, no friends, no one understands, is that good? It's fun? I don't think so, I just want to end this constant rebirth. , wholeheartedly, but it is useless, I will still be reborn again. I know that I look cold, it is because I am afraid, I dare not have any emotional investment, I can't stand those. Even if they die without a disease, it is the same, My loved ones around me don't know where they are. I don't believe I'm the only one, but right now I just know I'm the only one."

I looked at him, his expression was calm and indifferent, even his eyes didn't fluctuate a bit, that calm seemed to be talking about a movie or a novel instead of himself. Me: "Then your life... is very successful, isn't it?" He: "For me, this is a fake. It can only make my life better now, but more importantly, I want to find what I want through financial resources. I don't accept that I am the only reborn person. But at present , You have never seen such a situation. However, I will still pay you, and there is no need to excuse it. " Me: "I'm sorry I really haven't heard of this situation, so I also..." He interrupted me: "It's okay, just treat it as if I paid you to chat with me. If you meet someone reborn like me in the future, I hope you will be the first to tell me. If it is true, I will tell you There is a reward, as for what kind of reward you want, I can satisfy you - of course, within my ability." Me: "Have you...have you told many people about this?" He: "Not many, some." Me: "Most of the reaction is envy?" He: "Yes, they can't understand the indescribable feeling, or punishment." Me: "Any other words?" He: "Yes. Ask me if there is any treasure I buried in my previous life, or what a certain emperor looks like, or what it feels like to be a woman. The most frequently asked questions are how I can get rich. I told them, but no one believed me." Me: "Well... can you tell me the answer?" He: "Yes, I can tell anyone this. It's very simple: no matter what era you are in, whether it is calm, war-torn, or exaggerated, as long as you do four words, be patient and low-key." I thought for a while: "Hmm... that's kind of interesting..." He leaned forward slightly and looked at me: "What do you think?" I looked straight into his eyes: "I know many similar situations. Although it's not rebirth, I know how much that pain is. Otherwise, so many people wouldn't go crazy." He resumed his sitting posture: "Maybe... Maybe I'm actually a mental patient, but I have money, no one thinks I'm crazy, and those who don't have money are lunatics... It would be nice to find one, even one." The second half of the sentence seemed to be what he said to himself. We talked about other things that afternoon, about everything.It must be admitted that his knowledge is too broad and complex to be astonishing.After I went back, I asked the friend who introduced me to him. The friend said that he hadn't attended any school. I sometimes think that people with this kind of loneliness should be regarded as a type. Although they belong to various kinds of loneliness, they are all painful, but there is no way to bear it alone.But what if he doesn't have those material foils?Will the family treat him as a mental patient?Still muttering in the corner of a certain room?Or already dead?Transfer to the next life?Is it really rebirth?To what god did he make a wish?Are there really gods? What he said may be right, countless people hope to obtain the favor of eternal life, and pursue it in various ways-the real body is immortal, and the will is immortal.But no one realizes that eternal life may just be a lonely existence.