Chapter 10 Chapter Eleven Politics

Of the people, by the people, for the people, that's right, we stand with the Americans.But the Soviet Union is greater than the United States in that the Soviet people only need to enjoy it, and the other two things are left to the party. ——Leonid Ilyich Brezhnev According to research, the Mayan city-state practiced a "Maya-style" separation of powers: Mayan priests—that is, Mayan grammar teachers—had the privilege of standardizing grammar; the city-state council controlled legislative decisions; and the city-state’s basketball team It dominates the mood of the people. The checks and balances between the three are quite ingeniously designed. Its structure is exquisite, it is very creative, and it is full of the unique aesthetics of bureaucracy. Really, there are no other shortcomings except inefficiency.

The priests have no real power, but when the decision made by the parliament is not in line with their wishes, the priests will stand up and point out that this decision violates the will of God, or use their monopoly position in standard grammar to misinterpret the parliamentary promulgation. Announcement: For example, they can suddenly announce that the negative form and positive form of Mayan text are interchangeable, and the special declension of the past tense is cancelled. The announcements issued by the parliament are often messed up and cannot be interpreted. The Mayan basketball team also does not have substantial political power, but they have a broad base of fanaticism among the masses, and each player has a large number of fans.Without the basketball team to guide the enthusiasm of the public, the decision of the parliament is a dead letter, which cannot be implemented by the public.This is exactly the same as the Mayans and other peoples of the world - if politics is not lively, no one likes it.

As for the City Council, without it, the other two institutions do not know what to do. The organizational structure of each Mayan city-state is basically composed of these three, similar with minor differences.Some of these city-states have stronger parliaments, some have louder priests, and some have basketball teams that are the real rulers—it all depends on the fanaticism of the people.In the last type of city-state, the status of the council and the priests is very awkward, because the people's enthusiasm for the basketball team is natural and does not require any reason and logic.

It is precisely because of this that the decision-making center of the city-state alliance in the Pan-Mayan civilization circle is also composed of these three institutions: the upper house representing the interests of the city-state councils, the healthy Maya grammatical seminar representing the interests of the priests, and the management of the Mayan basketball league. All Maya Basketball League.Some scholars claim that this is the form of politics that best suits modern society—politicians fighting each other, intellectuals poring over grammar, and the masses watching basketball games.

When the speaker of the House of Lords received the news that the Yin Shang Legion had destroyed the city-state of Zuma, he immediately convened a plenary meeting of the Pan Maya Alliance.The city-state of Zuma is a respected member of the alliance. Its pyramids are ugly but tall enough—with the Mayan construction technology, it is difficult for “tall” and “beautiful” to be reflected in the same building—many The members are very envious, because the Zuma people only need to push the prisoners of war down from the top of the tower together with tomatoes, mangoes and salt, and they can harvest processed vegetable and fruit sauce under the tower.

And such a city-state, which is widely admired by people, is now actually destroyed by a group of demon barbarians from the north; this is an absolutely intolerable insult to the Pan-Mayan civilization circle.Like all peoples in the world, the Mayans believed that they were in the center of the world and represented the most advanced form of civilization.According to their arrogant logic, if any civilization is more advanced than Maya, there is no doubt that they must learn from Maya. "These demon barbarians from the north have flattened the entire Zuma city-state and are heading south. If we don't take resolute and forceful actions to stop them, the enemy will destroy all our pyramids and make us become like tribes."

The speaker's words made all the city-state representatives full of worry. They would rather sacrifice half of the city-state's population and fruits than lose the pyramid. "We will give them a real counterattack! Until we all die in battle, or all surrender." The Speaker waved his fist and shouted loudly.When they heard that there were other options besides dying in battle, the delegates slapped their faces with their hands desperately, making a crisp "cracking" sound. This is a unique Mayan way of expressing approval and applause, similar to the clapping in today's etiquette.The House of Lords often needs to vote in this way, so the stratum corneum of the facial skin of the person selected as a member must be extremely thick, otherwise it will be unbearable.

"I propose that in order to fight the enemy more efficiently, we should elect a dictator who will be in charge of commanding the joint army to resist the invasion." The speaker said, and the members below began to discuss.There is no doubt that this position is very honorable, and it should be filled by an honorable man. "And out of my passion for the Mayan civilization, I think the responsibility for this danger should be borne by me." Members were very surprised by the speaker's proposal, they did not expect to have a candidate so soon.Before they could react, the speaker had ordered coconuts to be delivered to every member of parliament.

According to the custom of the House of Lords, the vote is taken in the form of coconuts.Returning the coconuts used for voting intact represents approval; carving coconuts into a delicate statue of a figure and engraving tattoos represents disapproval.There are only two voting rules: the time to decide the vote is only ten minutes; the House of Lords is a sacred place, and no tools are allowed to enter. So this proposal was quickly passed in the House of Lords, with 10,000 votes in favor and 230 abstentions (because the MPs didn't have time to carve out the negative votes), and the speaker's 10,000 votes played a decisive role.

When the result was announced, the MPs reluctantly slapped themselves in the face, expressing limited congratulations to the speaker.The Speaker thanked the House of Lords for their support. He said that he would come up with a complete solution as soon as possible and then adjourn the meeting. Next, the Speaker's task is to convince the High Priest of the Healthy Mayan Grammar Workshop and the President of the All-Maya Basketball League to support his plan.This is not an easy task. The high priest was born in the south of the Mayan civilization circle, and he is indifferent to things in the north; while the president of the basketball league opposes any decision to enlist basketball players. If anyone dares to force him to accept these decisions, he will reject them. Open the windows and yell, "Listen to the people!" and all Mayan basketball fans will turn anti-war.

"It's going to take a long time," the Speaker thought to himself as he walked down the pyramid. "One year? Two years? Let's hope the enemy doesn't come until after that." Looking back at the mountains in the north, he suddenly felt emotional.The setting sun cast a very long shadow on him and the pyramid beside him.The most powerful person in the current Mayan civilization circle slowly walked into his bedroom in Panama City, took off the vines and banana leaves, drank a mouthful of delicious coconut juice, lay down on the soft hay and fell asleep—no work It's worth working overtime. At the same time, the Yin Shang Legion did not notice the latest movement of the Mayan Parliament, and still maintained the momentum of going south, but the speed slowed down. It is impossible for such a huge legion to maintain a high-speed march for a long time.What's more, it's almost December, and the weather is getting hotter.At first, the soldiers were fully armed, but soon the inside of the armor was full of sweat, soaked in these highly salty liquids all day long, and many people's armpits and genitals were rotten.It may not be appropriate to be naked, not to mention the bites of mosquitoes and the invasion of ferocious animals, just to control the sexual harassment in the team is enough to make Commander You Houxi very anxious. Problems with the supply of troops also gradually appeared. Originally, they could rely on the Mayan city-states along the way to provide supplies, but the poor inventory management and dietary structure of the Mayans made this channel exist in name only. "These monkeys eat only perishable fruits and vegetables, which is a disgrace to omnivores." Therefore, Commander Youhouxi decided to temporarily stop the advance of the army, rest in an occupied Mayan city-state, and hunt around by the way to hoard some food.When necessary, you can also consider eating some Mayans, Commander Youhouxi thought; in his mind, Mayans and Yin merchants belong to the same class of mammals biologically, but they parted ways when they reached the next level of classification—Maya Humans are by no means primates. During the break, something happened. The chief expert Yikouguan lost his way while going hunting with the hunting team.They walked for a long time in the rain forest, and finally bumped into a group of Mayans by mistake.Maya began to think he was just some strange ape, and attacked while drooling. Yikouguan was quick to get wise, and asked the macaw on his shoulder to say loudly in Mayan script: "Shut up! You wordy bastard!" Since Furong joined, this sentence is the most proficient Mayan script used by everyone in the Yin Shang Legion. One of the phrases. The Mayan hunters were very surprised by this and stopped in their tracks.Yikouguan is one of the few public relations experts who can barely learn Maya. He told these hunters that he came from the sky and was the messenger of the sun god. The trick was so successful that the Mayan hunters believed it and knelt down to worship.Yikouguan seems to have succeeded, but the only thing he miscalculated is that the attitude of the Mayans towards the envoys is different from that of the Yin people. They regard the envoys as a convenient tool and like to keep them for themselves.So Yikouguan was tied up by these people and carried back to the village respectfully. After entering the village, Yikouguan was immediately locked in the most gorgeous room.He can move freely in the house and eat as much as he wants. They even donated a Mayan girl to him, but Yikouguan is not allowed to step out of the house. When people in the village heard that the hunter had picked up the envoy, they all rushed over to watch the fun.They dared not approach the house, but dared to lean on the window and look inside.At first, Yikouguan was not used to being surrounded by curious eyes, but later he took it calmly, and even had sex with the Mayan girl with a normal figure—this is very important—in front of them.Since leaving Shandong, he hadn't touched any creatures other than parrots and his disciples, which is not easy for a man. Several old people in the village, Yikouguan guessed that they might be elders, were the only ones allowed to enter the room.As soon as they came in, they worshiped and muttered difficult Mayan words.Yikouguan didn't quite understand, so he kept silent and let the parrot say something irrelevant.When the elders heard the parrot speak, they felt as if they had found a treasure, and they knelt and exited the room while repeating the parrot's words.They will come again the next day. Iguchi Seki speculates that they may be asking the "God Envoy" some questions.These Mayans obviously believed that Yikouguan was an all-knowing "angel of the gods", so they detained him here so that they could consult at any time. The seizure lasted three or four days.During this period of time, Yikouguan learned that the name of this village was Auwu, and it was a Mayan tribe about the same size as Naheim Village.There are no pyramids in this tribe, and the village maintains the style of the Neolithic Age. The tools are mostly stone tools, and the houses are just simple sheds built with thatch.The village has a total population of over two hundred. What interests Yikouguan most is the political system of the village.Even such a small village is strictly divided into a three-headed system of parliament, priests and basketball team according to the characteristics of Mayan civilization.There are five people in Owu's council, all of whom are old people in the village; there are two priests, the elder teacher and one of his disciples; five people in the basketball team, which is actually just a nominal establishment, two hundred A village with many people cannot afford a real basketball team. Yikouguan, who is from an imperial state, is perplexed by Ou's lack of a supreme ruler.In his view, a kingdom without a king is simply inconceivable and inefficient.With his excellent public relations mind, Iguchi Seki decided to take advantage of Owu's institutional weakness to get himself out of trouble. Through careful observation, Yikouguan chose that priest as a breakthrough. He was ambitious and had always had great ambitions.On the fifth day after being detained, Yikouguan felt that the time was almost ripe, so he called the sacrificial driver into his house. The priest is over forty years old, and he wears a grass belt dyed with red stone flowers, which is the symbol of his priesthood.He walked into the house and prostrated himself in front of Yikouguan, not knowing what the envoy wanted from him. Yikouguan put his arms around the Mayan girl in his arms, and asked him slowly: "Are you willing to become a king?" The priest raised his head in confusion: "King? What is a king?" "It is the supreme ruler. From then on, no one in Auwu can disobey your wishes. All the two hundred villagers are your servants." The priest was frightened by Yikouguan's words, he had never dared to think of such a grand ambition.The villagers in Auwu have a very low level of education, and his status as a grammar teacher is not high, and he has always been disrespected.He dreams of a day when these villagers realize the importance of grammar, that's all. "As long as you follow my instructions, I guarantee that you can realize this dream." Yikouguan said, his Mayan language was not fluent enough, so he had to slow down his speech, but he seemed rather majestic. The priest prostrated himself on the ground again, and replied in an awe-inspiring tone: "I implore the envoy of God to enlighten me..." ... On the second night, several parrots suddenly flew out from the dense forest. They flew into the village and shouted loudly in standard Mayan script: "Au Wuxing, the priest king! Au Wuxing, the priest king!" People in the village were shocked by these parrots, and they hid in the house in fear, fearing that it might be some monster.It wasn't until the parrot was tired and left that the elders of the village dared to go to Yikouguan's house and ask the envoy what this meant, and Yikouguan asked them to go to the priest for an answer.The elders quickly found the priest again and asked him what the parrots were saying. The priest replied calmly: "If you want to make Owu prosper, you must let the priest be the king. This is God's message to us through the parrot." The elders asked the priest what a king is, and when they heard the priest's answer, they fell silent.Recognizing that the priests are kings means that the power of the council of elders has been deprived; but if they do not recognize, they are afraid of God's punishment. During the silence of the elders, the priest and his apprentice had allowed the legend of the parrot to spread throughout the Orb tribe. "God sent a parrot to announce that the priest was chosen to be the king of Au." Everyone spread the news mysteriously.As Yikouguan had predicted, the people liked strange powers and gods the most, and soon a wave of worship of priests was stirred up among the villagers.Several versions of the rumors spread rapidly, becoming more and more mysterious, and even an old woman claimed that she had seen the parrot wings on the baby's back as early as when the priest was born. People gradually clustered in front of the thatched house of the parliament, calling for the priest to be crowned king. After lengthy negotiations, the pressured elders proposed that the council of Ou should coexist with the king: the king ruled Ou, but all decisions must be approved by the council.The priest was not satisfied with this compromise. He followed Yikouguan's instructions and asked his apprentice to become the captain of the guard.This guard is Owu's only military force, and it is composed of young and strong hunters and basketball players. There are ten people in total. "If you don't agree to this condition, you can go and explain it to people outside." The priest said, and the elders had to accept these demands.The priest walked out of the house with satisfaction and announced to the crowd who supported him that a great ruler had been born. At the same time, he also appointed his apprentice as the captain of the guard to protect the safety of the king and the council.The elders followed the priest, their faces somber. The enthronement ceremony began on the second day, and all the people in the village cheered and called the priest the Parrot King, the guardian of the whole Ou.Immediately after enthronement, a thatched hut at the west end of the village collapsed, and dozens of fruits in the hut were crushed to pieces.The parrot king immediately ordered the captain of the guard to lead his troops into the thatched house of the parliament, declaring that this was a conspiracy planned by the elders of the parliament to overthrow the throne. Members of the guard threatened the elders with large sticks to force them to confess the crimes.The elders were beaten, but no one came to rescue them.In the end, four elders were beaten to death, and only one elder survived and was forced to confess his crimes. Finally, he was locked in a cave, blocked with rocks outside, and left to fend for himself. After removing the last obstacle, the Parrot King officially began his rule. He found that everything was as Yikouguan said. He ruled the world and became the supreme king of more than two hundred villagers, and his will was their highest instruction.He is very satisfied. At the same time, Yikouguan hugged the Mayan girl, looked out the window at the crowd cheering "Long Live the King", and muttered to himself: "Very well, then the next step is the revolution, my friend." It was December 20, 204 BC in the Republican calendar, the first day of the Maya Civilization Auu Tribe Parrot King Calendar.