Chapter 43 forty three

The next day was cloudy but warm.Luis sweated profusely as he checked his wife and daughter's luggage and retrieved tickets from the computer.He figured it was a good thing to be busy, and he only felt a bit of heartache compared to the last time he had put the family on a plane to Chicago on Thanksgiving. Allie looked a little cold and strange.Several times that morning Louis looked up and saw a peculiarly pensive look on her daughter's face.When I told her that the whole family was going to Chicago, except that she and Mom would go first and then Dad, and that they might be staying there for the summer, Allie didn't say anything, just buried herself in her breakfast.After breakfast, she went upstairs to put on the clothes and shoes that Rachel had found for her.She still had that photo with her, and when Louis lined up to collect their tickets, she sat quietly on a plastic chair in the departure hall, listening to the radio playing the departure and arrival times and departure times.

The Goldmans arrived at the airport 40 minutes before the plane took off.Goldman was neatly dressed, even in a cashmere coat even though the temperature was 60 degrees Fahrenheit.Mrs. Goldman sat with Rachel and Elle while he went through the paperwork. Louis returned to his family with Goldman.Louis was a little afraid that the old man might repeat the scene of apologizing to him, but Goldman didn't say anything more, he just shook hands with Louis and said hello.His quick awkward glance at his son-in-law made Louis think the old man must be drunk again. The family took the elevator to the boarding hall together, and they didn't speak much to each other.Mrs. Goldman held the novel nervously, but didn't open it, and she kept looking nervously at the picture Ellie was holding.

Louis asked his daughter if she wanted to go to the bookstore in the airport to pick up something to read on the plane, and Ellie looked at him again in that brooding way.Louis didn't like this, and it made him a little nervous.As the two walked toward the bookstore together, Louis asked his daughter, "Will you be grandparents?" "Yes," Ellie said, "Daddy, will the truant officials catch me? Andy said that there is an officer who catches truant students, he specializes in catching truant students." "Don't be afraid of the officials who catch truant students, I will give you a leave of absence from school, and you can come back and start school again in the fall."

Elle said: "I hope I'll be fine in the fall. I've never been in first grade before, just kindergarten. I don't know what kids in elementary school do, maybe do homework." "You'll be fine." "Dad, do you still hate grandpa?" Louis stared dumbfounded at his daughter and said, "How do you think I... I hate your grandpa so much, Ellie?" Ellie shrugged her shoulders and said, as if the subject didn't interest her, "You always look like you hate him when you talk to him." "Ellie, it's too vulgar for you to speak like that."

"Sorry." Ellie glanced at Louis with a strange, predictable look, then turned to look at the various books on the shelf.Louis thought: How do they know this?How much does Allie know?How does it affect her?Allie, what's behind that pale little face of yours?Hate him so much...God! Ellie held two books and asked, "Dad, can I have these two books?" "Yes." So they waited in line to pay."Your grandpa and we are fine," Louis said to Allie, recalling his own mother telling him that when a woman wants a baby, she goes to the grass to pick one up.He remembered making a foolish vow never to lie to his own children, but these days he was a liar.

"Oh." Ellie replied, and then fell silent. To break the silence, which made Louis uncomfortable, he asked, "So do you think you'll be fine in Chicago?" "Will not." "No? Why not?" Ellie raised her head and said with that look that could predict the future: "I'm afraid." Luis stroked Ellie's head with his hand and said, "Scared? Scared of what, baby? You're not afraid of airplanes, are you?" "No," Ellie said, "I don't know what I'm afraid of. Dad, I dreamed that we went to Gage's cemetery and saw the graveman open his coffin. It was empty. Then I dreamed that I came home , I saw that Gage's bed was also empty, but there was dirt on the bed."

Louis remembered what was said in the Bible: Lazarus, come out. For the first time in months, Louis remembered the dream he had after Pascoe died and woke up to find mud and pine needles on his feet, at the foot of his bed.Louis felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. "It was just a dream," Louis said to Allie.He tried to keep his voice normal, "These dreams will pass." Allie said, "I want you to come with us, or we all stay here. Dad, can we stay here? Please, I don't want to go to Grandpa's...I just want to go back to school, okay?" "Just for a short while, Ellie, I have..." Louise swallowed and continued, "A few things to do, and then I'll be with you. We can decide what to do next."

Louis thought Ellie would argue, maybe even throw a tantrum, and he hoped so.But Ellie didn't say a word, with that deeply disturbed look on her face.Louis could have asked a few more words, but he didn't dare, the daughter had told him enough, maybe more than he wanted to hear. Not long after Louis and Ellie returned to the gate, the announcement urged them to board the flight.Rachel and the four of them stood in a row and walked towards the boarding gate.Louis hugged his wife and kissed her hard.Rachel hesitated for a moment holding him, then let him go.Louis picked up his daughter again and kissed her cheek.

Allie looked gravely at Louis with her prophetess eyes and whispered, "I don't want to go, and I don't want Mommy to go either." The voice was so small that only Louis could hear over the commotion of the passengers. Louis said, "Ellie, take heart, you'll be fine." Allie said, "I'm going to be fine, but what about you? Daddy, what's going to happen to you?" The line that stood in line now began to move forward, people walking towards the plane.Rachel took Ellie's hand and told her to follow her, but for a moment Ellie resisted, bringing the line to a halt.Ellie's eyes were fixed on his father, and Louis suddenly remembered Ellie's impatient cry on Halloween: Let's go... let's go... let's go.

"dad?" "Ellie, let's go. Okay?" Rachel looked at Elle and saw her daughter's deep, dreamy look for the first time. She was taken aback and asked with horror, "Ellie? What's wrong with you? Baby, you stopped the line." Ellie's lips turned white and she began to tremble, and then she let her mother lead her to the flight ladder.She glanced back at Louis, who saw the look of terror on her face.He pretended to be happy and waved to his daughter. But Ally didn't wave him goodbye.