Chapter 14 Chapter Twelve

A loud cutscene echoed through the cabin of the Heart of Gold, as Zaphod tuned the sub-etheric radio band, searching for news about himself.This instrument is rather difficult to operate.For a long time, broadcasts were adjusted by pushing buttons and turning knobs.As technology has gotten more sophisticated, controllers have become touch-sensitive, and all you have to do is flick your finger across the control panel.But today, all you have to do is wave your hand in the general direction of the component and have an idea in your mind.This of course saves a lot of muscle energy, but it also means that if you want to listen to a program continuously, you have to sit there very still until you become restless.

Zaphod waved his hand, 'It's another channel.There was more music, but this time it was the background music of a news bulletin.The news is always edited to match the rhythm of the music. "...Here is the news report brought to you by the sub-ether band, broadcast on the hour of the Milky Way." A piercing voice said, "We want to say hello to all intelligent life everywhere... Of course, the big news tonight is undoubtedly It's the shocking theft of a new improbability-driven prototype ship. It was stolen by none other than Galactic President Zaphod Beeblebrox. Everyone is asking the same question... Did Zan finally escape? Beeblebrox, the man responsible for the galactic scandal, an overconfident liar, once described as the weirdest man, was recently voted the least tastefully dressed in the known universe for the seventh time. The man... Will he fall into the French net this time? We interviewed his personal brain health doctor Gag. Halflander..."

The music fell silent for a moment, then another voice broke in, probably Halflander.He said, "Oh, what kind of guy Zaphod is, do you know?" Then he stopped, because an electronic pencil was drawn through the air, right across the switch sensing area of ​​the broadcast.Zaphod turned to look at Trillian—she had thrown the pencil. "Well," he said, "what are you doing?" Cui Lien tapped a screen full of numbers with her fingers. "I just remembered something," she said. "What? Is it worth interrupting a news broadcast about me?" "You've heard enough about yourself."

"I'm very insecure right now. We all know that." "Can't you be less self-centered for a little while? It's important." "If there's anything more important than myself, I'd like it to be caught and shot now." Zaphod gave her another look and laughed. "Listen," Trillian said, "we got those two guys..." "Which two guys?" "It's the two guys we rescued." "Oh, yes," said Zaphod, "those two guys." "We rescued them in the ZZ9 complex Z Alpha area." "So what?" Zaphod asked, blinking.

Trillian said softly, "Doesn't this mean something to you?" "Well," muttered Zaphod, "ZZ9 for Z Alpha. ZZ9 for Z Alpha?" "What did you think of?" Trillian said. "Oh... what does the Z mean here?" said Zaphod. "Which Z?" "all." One of the main difficulties Trillian had with her relationship with Zaphod was that she had to learn how to distinguish his stupidity.Sometimes he pretends to be stupid to put people off guard, sometimes he pretends to be stupid because he doesn't want to think hard and wants someone else to do it for him, and sometimes he pretends to be downright stupid to hide that he doesn't actually understand the situation That fact, there are times when it's really stupid.He has a reputation for being extremely smart - but it hasn't always been that way, which makes him anxious, which is why things like the above happen.He would rather confuse people than be scorned.In Trillian's opinion, this was the most serious stupidity, but she couldn't dwell on it all the time.

She sighed, and clicked on a map of the starry sky on the screen. No matter what the reason for his current appearance was, this picture could make him clear at a glance. "Here," she said, pointing to the picture, "right here." "Oh...yes!" said Zaphod. "So?" she said. "So, what?" A part of her head finally started screaming at another part of her head.But she still said very calmly: "You were in the same area when you first boarded me." He glanced at her, then turned his gaze back to the screen. "Oh, yes," he said, "that place is deserted now. We must have crashed straight into the center of the Horsehead Nebula. But how did we get there? I mean, it's a barren place ah."

Cui Lien ignored this sentence. "Improbability driven." She said patiently. "You explained it to me yourself. We travel through every point in the universe, you know that." "True, but that's just a coincidence, isn't it?" "yes." "Rescued these two people at exactly that point? In the middle of all possible points in the entire universe? This is too... I have to do the math. Computer!" The shipboard computer of the Sirius control system, the guy who controls and infiltrates every corner of the spaceship, immediately switched to communication mode.

"Hello!" it said animatedly, while also outputting a short tape with "Hello" written on it. "Oh, my God," said Zaphod.Although he hadn't worked with the computer for long, he had grown to loathe it. The computer continued to speak, speaking quickly and cheerfully, as if it was promoting a certain brand of detergent. "What I'm going to tell you is that whatever problem you have, I'm here to help you out."' "Okay, okay," said Zaphod, "well, I think I need a piece of paper .” "No problem," said the computer, dumping another record into the trash can, "I can understand. If you still need to..."

"Shut up!" shouted Zaphod, grabbing a pencil and sitting down at the console next to Trillian. "Okay, okay," the computer said in a hurt tone, and closed the call. Zaphod and Trillian stared at the quietly flashing numbers on the non-probability navigation orbit scanner in front of them. "Can we figure it out?" Zaphod asked. "What is the improbability from their point of view of their rescue?" "Okay, that's a constant." Trillian said, "2 to the 276,709th power is more than 1." "It's very tall. These two guys are really lucky and lucky."

"That's right." "But compared to what we were doing when the ship picked them up..." Cui Lien poked a number.The above shows that 2 to the negative infinity is better than 1 (an irrational number that only makes sense in the context of non-probabilistic physics). "That's too low," Zaphod continued, whistling softly. "That's right." Cui Lien agreed, looking at him mockingly. "It's a blow to explaining improbability. A near-impossible event, if it is to be included in a large total, must be reflected in the balance sheet."

Zaphod scribbled a few totals, crossed them out, and threw the pencil aside. "Damn it, I can't figure it out at all." "So?" Zaphod touched his two heads angrily, biting his teeth. "Okay," he said, "computer!" So the voice circuit resumed working again. "Hey, hello!" said they (voice, tape), "all I do is to make your life more comfortable every day..." "Okay, got it. Shut up and figure this out for me." "No problem," said the computer, "you want a probabilistic forecast based on..." "Improbability data, yes." "Okay," said the computer, "an interesting point. Did you know that most people's fate is determined by their phone number?" An expression of pain appeared on one Zaphod's face, then moved to another. "Are you crazy?" he said. "No, but you'd go crazy if I told you..." Cui Lien gasped for breath, while scratching at the buttons on the scanning screen of the improbable navigation track. "Phone number?" she said. "That thing says 'phone number'?" Numbers flashed on the screen. The computer stopped politely for a while, and now it picked up the conversation again: "What I want to say is..." "Don't interrupt, please," Trillian said. "Look, what's this?" Zaphod asked. "I don't know," Trillian said, "but those strangers—they're following that poor robot toward the control bridge. Shall we check the camera footage first?"