Chapter 13 Chapter Eleven

The anti-improbability control cabin of the Heart of Gold is no different from a normal spaceship, except that it is very clean—it is brand new after all, and the plastic film of some control seats has not even been torn off.The basic tone of the control cabin is white, rectangular, basically equivalent to the size of a small restaurant.In fact, it is not a standard rectangle: the two long walls are slightly bent into a parallel arc, and all the angles and corners of the cabin are rounded arcs, which are impressive.Regarding this point, the real reason is: It would be much simpler and more practical to build an ordinary three-dimensional rectangular room, but in that case, the designer's pocket will not be able to bulge.Such a control cabin is obviously well-designed, with a huge projection screen hanging on the concave wall above the control and navigation system instrument panel, and a long row of computers mounted on the convex wall.In one corner sat a robot, its polished steel head hanging loosely between its polished steel knees.It was brand new, too, though its more or less human-looking body was rather out of place, though well-crafted and polished.In fact, these parts are still very coordinated, but some bearings seem to be installed better.

Zaphod Beeblebrox was nervously pacing back and forth in the control cabin, brushing his hands over the flashing instruments, and giggling excitedly from time to time. Cui Lien was sitting in front of a bunch of equipment, reading out the data on it.Her voice echoed throughout the ship through the PA system. "5 to 1, falling..." she read, "4 to 1, falling... 3 to 1... 2... 1... probability factor 1 to 1... We have entered normal, repeat, We're back to normal." She turned off the microphone—and turned it back on—and continued with a smile: "If you're still feeling uncomfortable, it's your fault. Relax, you'll be fine soon son."

Zaphod asked angrily, "Who are they, Trillian?" Trillian turned her chair to face him and shrugged. "Just two normal guys, we fished them up in outer space," she said, "in the 229th Z Alpha area." "Oh, well, good hearted, Trillian," Zaphod grumbled, "but do you think it's appropriate under the circumstances? I mean, we're on the run with at least half the galaxy behind us. Police, we stopped to rescue two roamers, huh?" He tapped on the control panel furiously.Every time she was about to touch an important button, Trillian always moved his hand away without saying a word.Whatever Zaphod's psychology was—impulsive, bravado, arrogance—he was mechanically clumsy, and could easily capsize the ship with some inexplicable maneuver.Cui Lien even became more and more suspicious that the main reason why he had such a successful and crazy life today was that he never really understood the meaning and consequences of anything he did.

"Zaphod," she explained patiently, "they're floating around in outer space unprotected...you don't want to see them die, do you?" "Oh, you know... no. Of course not, but..." "Of course not? Of course I don't want to watch them die? But?" Cui Lien tilted her head. "Oh, maybe someone else will pick them up after us." "But in a second they're dead." "Yeah, so if you'd thought about it a little longer, the problem would have been solved a long time ago." "Are you willing to let them die?"

"Oh, you know, of course you can't say yes, but..." "Anyway," Trillian said, turning back to face the control panel, "it's not like I saved them." "What do you mean? Who saved them?" "This spaceship." "what?" "This spaceship did it all by itself." "what?" "In an improbability-driven process." "But it's impossible." "Yes, Zaphod, very, very unlikely." "Oh yes." "Look, Zaphod," she said, patting him on the arm, "don't worry about these strangers anymore. Just two normal guys, I promise. I'll send the robot down here and bring them here Come on. Hello, Marvin!"

In one corner, the robot's head jerked up, then shook imperceptibly.It stood up, looking a little heavier than it really was, and crossed the room with a posture that seemed manly to others.It stopped in front of Trillian, staring at her left shoulder. "I think you should know I'm very upset," it said.Its voice was low and lifeless. "Oh, God," muttered Zaphod, falling back on his seat. "Oh." Cui Lien said in a pitiful tone, "Now there is something for you, which may make you not think so much." "It's useless." Marvin buzzed, "My brain is too big."

"Marvin!" Trillian warned. "Well then," said Marvin, "what do you want me to do?" "Go down to the No. 2 entry cabin, and bring the two strangers here, and let me watch them." Pausing for a microsecond, adjusting his tone a little-in fact, you don't notice it-Marvin expresses his contempt and disgust for all human affairs in this way. "That's all?" he said. "Yes." Cui Lien replied without doubt. "I don't like doing it," said Marvin. Zaphod jumped up from his seat. "She didn't want you to like it," he cried. "Just do it, understand?"

"Okay then." Marvin said, his voice hoarse like a broken bell, "I'll go right away." "That makes sense..." said Zaphod, "OK...thanks..." Marvin turned and looked at him with his flat red triangular eyes. "I didn't upset you, did I?" he asked pitifully. "Oh, of course not, Marvin." Trillian said briskly, "Okay, really..." "I don't want to upset you." "Of course, it's okay." The brisk voice continued, "You just have to go about your business naturally and everything will be fine."

"You promise you don't mind?" Marvin asked tentatively. "No, of course not, Marvin," Trillian said. "It's all right, really...it's just a part of life." Marvin's electronic eyes flashed at her. "Life," said Marvin, "don't tell me about life." He turned and left the control cabin in despair, snorted, and closed the hatch behind his back. "I can't stand this robot, Zaphod," Trillian complained. The Encyclopedia of the Galaxy defines a robot as a mechanical device designed to replace a human.The marketing department of Sirius Control Systems defines the robot as "your plastic autumn companion, with whom you will be very happy."

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy defined the Marketing Department of Sirius Control Systems as "a bunch of brainless bastards who would be the first to be executed when the revolution came."There is also a footnote to the effect that the editors warmly welcome applicants who would like to edit in robotics. A "Encyclopedia of the Milky Way" was lucky to pass through the time tunnel and fell into the present from the uncollected one thousand years later.What's interesting is that the definition of the marketing department of Sirius Control Systems in this book is "a group of stupid grandchildren who are the first to be executed when the revolution comes."

The little pink bedroom flickers away, and the monkeys sink into another space.Ford and Arthur found themselves in the boarding area of ​​the ship.The place looks nice. "I think it's a whole new ship," Ford said. "How do you know that?" Arthur asked. "Have you got some queer instrument with you that can measure the age of metal?" "No, I just found this sales brochure on the ground. It's full of 'once you have it, the universe' stuff. Oh! Lo and behold, I was right." Ford turned to one of the pages and pointed it out to Arthur. "It says, 'A new major breakthrough in improbability physics. Once the ship is driven to an infinitely improbable state, it will be able to travel through every point in the universe. Make the other major governments jealous.' Wow, that's true. Not small." Ford flipped excitedly through the ship's technical description, occasionally making breathless comments about things he'd missed during his uprooted wanderings. Arthur listened attentively for a while, but couldn't understand most of what Ford was saying, so he began to let his mind wander, running his fingers along the edge of a row of unintelligible computers.He raised his hand and pressed a large red button on the control panel beside him.The control panel lit up, displaying a line saying, "Please don't press this button again."He shuddered. "Listen," said Ford, still poring over the sales brochure, "they've put a lot of work into the controls of this ship." Sirius Control Systems' latest generation of robots and computers, with the new GPP feature.'" "GPP features?" Arthur asked. "What the hell?" "Oh, it means 'authentic human personality.'" "Oh," said Arthur, "that sounds kind of bad." A voice behind them said, "It's really bad." The voice was low and lifeless, with a slight jingle.They turned to see a miserable metal figure standing in the doorway. "What?" they asked. "Oops," went on Marvin, "it is, it's pretty bad. Better stop talking about it. Look at this door," he said, stepping in.At this point, his ironic circuits hooked up to his voice modulator, and he began to parody the style of the sales brochure, "'All the doors on this ship have an upbeat good-nature. They're happy to You open up and know they have to close themselves to get the job done.'” The door closed behind him, obviously, it did have such a good quality, accompanied by an exclamation-like voice, "Uh... ah... ah!" Marvin was filled with cold resentment against the door, his logic circuits feeding him signals of contempt and the notion that it should be met with physical violence.Deeper circuits kept chiming in: "Why bother? What's the point? There's nothing worth devoting yourself to." Deeper circuits analyze the molecular structure of the door and the molecular structure of human brain cells. Come and have fun with yourself. "Come on," he buzzed, "I got orders to take you two to the control bridge, so here I am. I have a brain the size of a planet and they tell me to take you to the control bridge Go up. Is this a satisfying job? I certainly don't think so."' He turned and walked back to the damned door. "Oh, excuse me," Ford said after him, "what government does this ship belong to?" Marvin ignored him. "You're staring at this door," he grunted, "and it's about to open again. I know, because it's unbearable to have a sudden burst of self-righteousness." With a flattering creak, the door slid open.Marvin stomped out the door. "Come with me," he said. Ford and Arthur trotted after him, and the door slid back into place with a pleasant click. "Sirius Control Systems City Center! Thank you very much," said Marvin, walking down the aisle. "'Let's build a robot with a real human personality,' they said. So they tried to make me, I'm a personality prototype. You can see that, can't you?" Ford and Arthur casually responded with embarrassment. "I hate that door," continued Marvin. "I haven't taken you there yet, have I?" "What government..." began Ford again. "It doesn't belong to any government," the robot snapped. "It's currently stolen." "Stolen?" "Stolen?" Marvin mocked. 'By whom? ' asked Ford. "Zaphod Beeblebrox." Immediately, a very different expression appeared on Ford's face, and there were at least five completely different expressions of shock and confusion piled up on it.His left leg was striding forward, but it seemed that it was hard to find the ground all of a sudden.He stared at the robot, trying to relax the muscles in his mouth. "Zaphod Beeblebrox?..." he said weakly. "I'm sorry, did I say something wrong?" Marvin asked nonchalantly, walking on, "If that's the case, please forgive me. Oh, God, I'm so depressed. Here's another That feel-good shit. Live! Don't tell me about life." "No one ever mentions that," said Arthur angrily. "Ford, are you all right?" Ford stared at him. "Is that robot talking about Zaphod Beeblebrox?" he asked.