Chapter 3 Chapter Three

Yumo said that her family education was very strict when she was a child.Both parents are employees, they are not at home during the day, and they are worried about letting her go out to play, so they can only lock her at home.She has no playmates since she was a child, and her only friend is her own shadow.She often talks to her shadow, guesses, hides and seeks... She can play with the shadow for a whole day, because the guessing game is always a draw, because the shadow will always find peek-a-boo.Tired of playing, she leaned against the wall and told the shadow her secret.She told Shadow that she secretly drank the honey that her mother kept in the refrigerator, but she only drank a little, and her mother should not find out.

She also ran into her parents' room, crawled under the bed, and lifted a moving brick.Pointing to the money under the bricks, he told Shadow: This is where Dad hid his private money! She pointed to the elder brother who was riding a bicycle under the window sill, Shadow, did you know that this elder brother likes sister Ping Ya.Every time he waited here for Pingya's sister to come home from school, he pretended to be passing by by bicycle, but Pingya's sister never glanced at him.He's so stupid, isn't he? The shadow is quiet and silent, and it will not tell the truth, so Yumo can safely and boldly tell the shadow all his little secrets.Maybe she gave Shadow too many little secrets, maybe she hoped to really have a friend, maybe she just hoped that Shadow could respond a little bit, maybe she had too many possibilities.Anyway, one day, the shadow suddenly really had its own consciousness.

One day, one night when she was six years old, Yu Mo woke up in the middle of the night, but saw a shadow sticking to the wall and looking at her.She just stared straight at the shadow, she wasn't afraid, she was just curious.She wondered why the shadow no longer followed her, but moved away from her. She and Shadow stared at each other all night without speaking.Yumo didn't tell anyone about it, because it was another little secret of hers, and she finally had a real friend. Since then, Yumo's games alone have become much more fun.Boxing guessing is no longer a draw, peek-a-boo has also begun to win or lose, and sometimes Shadow will deliberately let Yumo win.Shadow is Xiao Yumo's secret friend, a secret friend like a sister.

Shadow never speaks, but Shadow can easily guess Yu Mo's mind. When Yu Mo is happy, Shadow is also happy.When Yumo is unhappy, Shadow will find a way to make Yumo happy. Yu Mo has been playing with the shadow for three years like this, what Yu Mo likes the most in the past three years is being able to stay at home alone, because the shadow will only come alive when there are no outsiders.When he was with others, his shadow was consistent with Yu Mo, and no one could see the difference. In the past three years, Yu Mo's best friend was his own shadow, and Yu Mo thought he could go on like this forever.Until one day something made Yu Mo start to be afraid, that was going to an amusement park.At that time, there were not many interesting things in the playground. Yumo's favorite was the electric white horse.

In fact, it is a very simple toy. When you ride a white horse and throw a coin into the coin slot, the white horse will shake up, down, left, and right on the spot, and there will be a sound of "clack, clack".At that time, such things were considered very good in playgrounds, and Yu Mo liked this one the most. Riding on it felt like a little princess. But there is a boy who occupies the only electric white horse and refuses to get off.He seemed to have an endless amount of coins in his pocket. As soon as the white horse stopped, he would throw a coin and continue playing.Yu Mo bit her lip, blinked her eyes and stood aside for half an hour, but the boy still didn't come down.

At this moment, the shadow came alive for the first time in the presence of outsiders. The shadow roared and rushed at the boy, pushing the boy off the two-meter-high electric white horse.The boy's head was broken. When he got up, the blood slid down his forehead to his cheeks, and then dripped on the ground. Shadow was standing next to the electric white horse, beckoning to Yumo, signaling for her to go up and play.Yumo was terrified, and unconsciously took a few steps back, then a few more steps, then turned around and fled back home.She told her family about it, but no one believed her.

Since then, Shadow has become unscrupulous, and there are more and more things like this.As long as it is what Yu Mo likes and wants, Shadow will do whatever it takes to grab it.The deskmate took out a piece of delicious candy from his schoolbag, and Yumo swallowed when he saw it.Shadow immediately snatched it from the tablemate and stuffed it into Yu Mo's hand, and Yu Mo hurriedly returned the candy to the tablemate, who was frightened and cried.A boy bullied Yu Mo and put caterpillars in Yu Mo's schoolbag. On the way home from school, Yu Mo saw the boy passed out by the roadside with his mouth full of caterpillars.Things like this kept happening around Yu Mo. The students all said that Yu Mo was a cursed child, and no one dared to approach her, let alone make friends with her.

Every time something like this happened, Yu Mo begged Shadow not to do it again, otherwise she would go crazy.But at this time, the shadow will quietly keep in line with Yu Mo, and does not respond to Yu Mo's pleadings.Yumo began to be afraid of her own shadow, and began to not understand her own shadow.Yumo knew that the shadow was helping her, but Yumo couldn't accept this way. Shadow used to be like his older sister, but now he is like a younger sister who doesn't understand anything.Oh, no, that's not the case, it's not that the shadow has become stupid, but that it has grown up.Yumo has grown up and is sensible, but the shadow is still stuck in his childhood.

Finally, after a similar incident, Yu Mo broke out.Yu Mo yelled at his own shadow: Get away from me, you devil!Don't pester me anymore, I don't need your so-called protection!You are not protecting me, you are hurting the people around me, understand?Get out of my soul, get out! That year, Yumo was 14 years old, and for a long time since then, the shadow seemed to be dead, and nothing unusual happened again. In a blink of an eye, at the age of 16, Yu Mo, who was in high school, also began to have friends and girlfriends who could talk to each other.They hid in the room and poured out their secrets, and Yumo also told outsiders all the stories of the shadow for the first time.My girlfriend laughed after listening to it: I have read this story in horror novels, but your dictation is much more exciting.

Yu Mo chuckled, she didn't need to prove anything, she just wanted to find someone to tell the story. That night, Yu Mo woke up from a dream, and saw the shadow riding on her body, and the shadow's hands were tightly strangling her neck.Yumo told outsiders the secret between them, Yumo betrayed it, and it got angry.Yu Mo used all his strength to push away Shadow's hands and let out a scream. Before Mom and Dad arrived, the shadow left, and when the shadow left, it left a sentence: "I will come back in ten years." That was the first time Shadow spoke. Since then, Shadow has been completely normal.Even Yumo tried to talk to the shadow again, but the shadow didn't respond, and the shadow returned to the same shadow as Yumo.Yumo also returned to normal life, studying, graduating, working, falling in love... getting married.

Yumo was 26 years old when she got married. When it came to this point, Yu Mo couldn't go on anymore, she closed her eyes tightly, and tears fell from the corners of her eyes.I fumbled into my pocket, only to realize I didn't bring a tissue.I pulled down the sleeves of the hospital gown a little and wiped the tears off her cheeks because she was still restrained. I asked, "Has the shadow returned?" Yumo took a deep breath, "Yes, it came back, exactly ten years ago, it killed my lover Tao Yao in front of me. At that time, Tao Yao was peeling apples for me, when my shadow suddenly stood up, Say—I'm back." "Then...then it snatched the knife from Tao Yao's hand and wiped it on his neck..." Yu Mo couldn't help crying when he said this, and I could only continue to wipe her dripping with my sleeve silently tears. "Tang Ping, remember never to talk to your own shadow, let alone play with it." This was Yumo's warning to me. Then Dr. Xiao came to make rounds and give medical orders, and I was also kicked out.I looked at my own shadow in the hallway. For the first time, I found that my own shadow was so deep. For the first time, I realized that I didn't know my own shadow at all. Dr. Xiao asked for half an hour, and I could hear some intermittently from outside the door.In fact, it is the story Yumo just told me, about the shadow. After listening to the story, Dr. Xiao asked Yu Mo, "Are you willing to take medicine? According to your family, you haven't had a good rest for several days. Can you take some sleep-promoting medicine first and have a good sleep?" "Hmm..." Yumo replied. This is a very good answer. Being willing to take medicine and not taking medicine in a mental hospital are two completely different treatments.Being willing to take medicine means that you have the intention to seek help independently and cooperate with treatment, so the supervision will be much looser.If you refuse to take medicine, you will be like a skinny person, and you will be under key supervision, and the main treatment will be injections. Doctor Xiao asked a few more questions before coming out.When he walked out of the ward, he wrote the doctor's order and said to the nurse beside him: "Monophobia with delusional generalization is a bit rare. Give me stability and propranolol first, and you can release the restraint after taking the medicine. Give her Arrange a quieter ward, pay attention to the light in her room, and let her have a good rest today." Dr. Xiao handed the doctor's order to the nurse, and the nurse took the doctor's order and carried it out.Only then did he realize that I was still standing outside the door, and he glanced at me with a mean look.I really hate his look, as if he can see through your mind with one glance.I lowered my head and walked towards another ward with the kettle in hand. I didn't want to be scanned by his eyes all the time. "Tang Ping." He called out to me, and I had no choice but to stop. He continued: "Actually, you have been looking for a reason to live, have you found it now?" I didn't answer him, just walked quickly into another ward to avoid him. I don't need to look back to know that there must be that mean smile on his face right now.I hate his mean eyes and smile, I hate it to the extreme! Back in the ward, Heroin greeted her excitedly, "Did you ask? What's the name of that beauty? Do you have a boyfriend?" After asking several times in a row, I replied angrily: "My name is Yu Mo, 26 years old, married, and my husband just died not long ago." This answer choked Heroin's words, "Her husband...is dead?" I ignored him, turned on the bed and lay down, pretending to be asleep. At around four o'clock in the afternoon, Captain Ma came again. He visited Yu Mo for a while before walking towards Dr. Xiao's office.My intuition told me that his arrival had something to do with Yu Mo, so I picked up the mop and ran outside the office door to eavesdrop. "How is her condition? Is it serious?" It was Ma Qianli's voice. Doctor Xiao didn't answer, but asked instead: "Captain Ma, when you first asked Yu Mo, how was her mental condition?" "I don't know how to say it. Except for the shadow in her mouth, her words and thoughts were still clear. Oh, by the way, she wasn't so afraid of her own shadow at that time." "Is there any difference between what she said then and what she says now?" "It was almost the same. We knew that she was overly frightened, so we asked her family to take her away. Afterwards, we went to the scene to collect evidence and found a damaged door lock and a row of man's shoe prints. The shoe prints extended from the door to the balcony glass. Behind the curtain of the door. The murderer should have been hiding behind the curtain at that time, and the curtain was so large that it was level with the ground, so hiding someone was not a problem at all." "In other words, the murderer hid behind the curtain, rushed out when the husband and wife were completely unprepared, and killed Tao Yao in front of Yu Mo, right?" "Yes, the speculated situation is like this. When Yu Mo went out to call for help after the incident, the neighbors of the opposite villa saw a masked man in black fleeing from the gate. The murderer was very cunning and didn't leave a single fingerprint Next, except for the row of shoe prints, it didn’t leave us any more clues.” "The masked man in black, all in black... This may be why Yu Mo turned the murderer into a shadow. Yu Mo now insists that her own shadow killed Tao Yao, which is an expression of her subconscious. She thinks She killed her husband herself, and she is blaming herself." "How is her condition?" Ma Qianli returned to the original question. "It took nearly half a year for her family to send her here, and she has missed the best time for treatment. She belongs to post-traumatic stress disorder, which is a delayed psychogenic reaction. At first I thought she was just a single phobia, but it seems It's more complicated than I imagined. Her disease is a bit like veterans demobilized after the war. Veterans often unconsciously recall the cruelty of the war and often wake up from nightmares." "Doctor Xiao, can you tell me what is going on with this disease? My uncle once participated in a self-defense counterattack, and he got this disease after he came back. He has been living in the military hospital intermittently." "Post-traumatic stress disorder, the trauma here mainly refers to memories. For terrible experiences, such as wars, rapes, earthquakes, murders, etc., the experiences and memories that cause extreme fear in individuals. This type of memory is called traumatic memory. When When the stressor reaches a certain threshold and exceeds the intensity that the individual can bear, a stress disorder will appear." "Doctor Xiao, is smoking allowed in the office?" Ma Qianli interrupted and asked. "Give me a root too." These two are really a perfect match. After lighting his cigarette, Ma Qianli took a deep breath, "Doctor Xiao, please continue." "There are two most distinctive types of stress disorder. One is acute psychogenic reaction. As the saying goes, it means being frightened crazy on the spot. This kind of onset is rapid and the duration is relatively short. With timely treatment, you can recover quickly. Come here, the prognosis is good. One of the characteristics of these patients is that the brain will quickly and forcibly forget the traumatic memory. This is a kind of stress protection for the brain to process traumatic memories, also known as psychogenic amnesia. They may Remember the result, but not the process." "Well, we have seen quite a few victims like this. Women who were raped in particular, most of them knew that they had been raped, but they couldn't recall what happened, and they didn't even remember what the gangster looked like. A If we don't know the three questions, it will make it more difficult for us to handle the case." Ma Qianli sighed. "The second type belongs to Yu Mo and your uncle. Delayed psychogenic response, also known as post-traumatic stress disorder. This is a very troublesome type. If it is severe, it may continue to recur and will not heal for life. There are three clinical manifestations of this: 1. Recurring traumatic experiences. Involuntarily recalling fantasy experiences, similar nightmares, recurring terrible illusions and hallucinations, and even reenacting and experiencing events in the form of fantasy. Also known as symptom flashes Going back, constantly using this traumatic memory to hurt yourself. It’s like having a sore, it’s not happy if you don’t scratch it, and scratch it until it gets worse.” "That's a good analogy. I was bitten by a mosquito last night, and I'm still itchy." Ma Qianli joked. Dr. Xiao didn't bother to pay attention to him, and continued: "Second, the continuous increase in alertness. That is to say, the nerves are tense all day long, and any sound can frighten him. Especially the ability to relate to trauma After going through the connection, it can directly scare him to death." "Three, keep avoiding. Try to avoid things related to traumatic experiences, such as Yu Mo, she is definitely unwilling to go back to that villa again, and dare not even think about it." "Isn't the third one contradicting the first one? Isn't it good to avoid it like this, it will help you forget that terrible experience." Ma Qianli asked doubtfully. "No, the more you want to avoid, the harder you try to forget, the harder it is to forget. People are like this, but the more you want to remember, the faster you forget. The human brain is like a rebellious child. Many Sometimes I will listen to you, but sometimes I just go against you." When Dr. Xiao said this, he sighed deeply, which seemed to bring back some of his memories. "I also wondered if I could get some more clues from Yumo when I came here today, but it seems that there is no way." Ma Qianli clicked his mouth and said disappointedly. "The brain will selectively forget, or even hallucinate, severe traumatic memories. I guess you can't ask anything, and Yumo's condition is now very serious, and delusions have generalized to childhood. I asked her family, There has never been such a thing. She already belongs to the category of cognitive psychosis, and even if she can give you any useful clues, you will not be able to use her words as testimony in court in the future." "Oh, it's no wonder. No one can bear to see her husband being killed in front of her. This poor girl, I hope she can recover soon." "The murderer killed her husband but didn't kill her. It should be a vendetta. And the vengeance is only aimed at Tao Yao. It's easier for you to start here." "Of course we knew we were going to start here, but we searched his relationship network, but there was no clue, and we couldn't even find a suspect." "Well, it seems that this is another unsolved case. Let me say Captain Ma, is the detection rate of your criminal police team... eh?" Dr. Xiao left a provocative ending. "My Doctor Xiao, do you think it's so easy to solve a case in China? Like those Japanese reasoning, playing tricks and tricks, and then a man with glasses came out and shouted: The murderer is among you!" Dr. Xiao was amused, "Hahahaha, isn't that American TV series shot very well, with all kinds of professional tools and professional knowledge, it's like solving a case and chopping vegetables." "We also have professional tools for on-site evidence collection, which have been introduced a long time ago. What we most urgently need is a systematic database. You can see a fingerprint or DNA collected in an American drama, scanned into the computer, and the computer can be registered in the networked system. Automatically check in the database, as long as there is a record in the database, everything is there.” "Yeah, it's so convenient." "What we lack in our country is such a systematic and detailed database. Although we have begun to build a preliminary database, the data is scarce and can play little role. Therefore, most of our public security criminal investigation agencies are still in the process of checking people's names, Checking ID cards, recognizing faces... such an initial stage." "National conditions." Dr. Xiao nodded understandingly. "No. Although it is difficult to handle the case, our detection rate has indeed increased a lot in recent years, and we are close to the goal of solving murder cases. As long as there are traces to follow, there will always be a day to solve the case." Ma Qianli said very relieved. The two chatted for a while, before Ma Qianli got up and said goodbye: "It's almost five o'clock, and you're about to get off work, so I won't bother you." "Yes." Dr. Xiao agreed, got up and walked to the window. Just as Ma Qianli was about to walk out of the door of the room, Doctor Xiao suddenly called to Ma Qianli, "Captain Ma, it looks like it's going to rain today." There was a hint of deep meaning and worry in his tone. "Oh, yes. We have a car, it's fine." Ma Qianli replied directly, not knowing what he was referring to. Seeing that Ma Qianli hadn't reacted yet, Dr. Xiao sighed, and had no choice but to continue: "It's going to rain tonight, don't forget about that vampire." "This..." Ma Qianli was taken aback for a moment, then nodded after a long pause, "I'll tell my brothers to be more vigilant tonight." Ma Qianli got into the police car and sped away. Dr. Xiao also came out and saw me mopping the floor.Mop marks on the floor told him that the floor in front of his office was a little too clean.He raised his eyebrows, and put that mean smile on his face again, "Tang Ping, have you finally found a reason for you to live?" Unlike the last time, this time it is a rhetorical question, expressing affirmation. I didn't talk to him, the more you talk to him, the more endless he will be.I continued to drag the mop vigorously to the other end of the corridor. I really hate his mean eyes and smile, I hate it to the extreme! It really rained at night, just like Dr. Xiao said.Not too big or too small, just enough to wash this hot city. Early the next morning, my parents came to see me.My mother carried a big bag of fruit, sat on my bedside and asked me how I was doing during this period, whether I am used to living here, whether I am in a better mood... I kept nodding or shaking my head, and I still didn't speak because I didn't know what to say. Dad stood at the door of the ward without saying a word, and he probably didn't know what to say.Dad still didn't have much expression on his face, but I could see the concern in his eyes.He hesitated several times, then sighed again. I actually don't want to see them at all because that would make me ashamed.They have raised me for more than 20 years, and spent half of my life's money just to make me have a good future, but I repay them by committing suicide.Suicide wasn't just my thing, I killed their son as well. From this point of view, suicide should be sinful, but suicide is actually murder.When you commit suicide, you also kill other people's sons (daughters), husbands (wifes), boyfriends (girlfriends), friends... After a while, Dr. Xiao came over, and they followed Dr. Xiao to the office to discuss my illness. Before leaving, Dad finally came over. He seemed to have a lot to say, but when he said it, he only had one sentence: "Take care of your illness and call home if you need anything." Maybe I think I am already an adult, but in their eyes, I will always be the child who has not grown up.Parents will never be angry with a child who made a mistake, no matter when and where, whether you are still that child or not. I asked Dr. Xiao, why do people commit suicide? He said that there are many reasons for suicide, such as escape, revenge, despair, self-destruction, seeking sympathy or help from others, and attracting attention from others... But one thing is for sure: people who commit suicide are cowards!Only incompetent trash escapes problems with death! I knew he was scolding me. I asked again, then why would I commit suicide? He only answered me: because you are convinced that you are an incompetent waste. I began to understand why Dr. Xiao asked me to help take care of patients. He wanted me to know that I could still be useful in this world. But I still don't understand why he asked me to go to the female patient building to help take care of the patients. He didn't tell me the answer until a long time later: Although I didn't say anything, he could see that I hated a woman, and my depression was mostly related to this woman.If I continue this hatred, this hostility will expand and become directed against all women.So he asked me to help in the female patient building. There, I can't hate, because I will see a group of women in pain.My hatred will dissolve into pity and sympathy there, and my hatred will eventually disappear there.And when my hatred dissipated, my depression was mostly cured. I have to admit that he is really clever, he is scheming, he is cunning and shameless!So many years later, whenever someone mentions the name Xiao Bai, his mean smile will start to appear in my mind. But he still missed a little bit, he didn't expect that I would meet Yu Mo here. After my parents left, I kept pretending to be asleep on the bed, but in fact I couldn't sleep at all.The thin man's bed was replaced by a patient with simple schizophrenia. This type of patient has nothing special, and it can be simply described as an idiot.Basically do not answer questions, occasionally nod or shake his head, similar to me, like to stay alone. But he is better than me, he can stay in one position for a day, which is called stupor in psychiatry.Heroin liked to play tricks on him when he first came here. For example, when he was standing by the window, Heroin would run over and change his standing posture.Ask him to lift his right hand up as if to say hello to someone, and then let his other leg tilt back. It was such a strange posture with one leg that he could maintain for a whole day, as if he had been acupunctured.After the nurse found out, she quickly helped him correct it and changed him to a comfortable posture.At this time, Heroin hid aside and covered his mouth with a smirk.I think of the Transformers I played with as a kid, he was like a toy at the mercy of others. After Dr. Xiao found out about these things, he gave Heroin a hard lesson and punished him to stand on one leg for an hour just like that idiot.An hour later, Heroin rubbed his numb leg and screamed, and Heroin never dared to play tricks on him again. It took only an hour to suffer from heroin, how did he manage to keep it going for a day?Was he too numb to feel pain?He feels like an empty shell to me now, he has no soul. I think of a word - lost soul.Yes, his soul is lost, lost in a place that no one knows. Then I remembered another word——calling the soul. A scene emerged in my mind, on a desolate barren slope, an old mother was crying for the soul of her lost child.With tears in her eyes, she put her palms around her mouth and called out affectionately in a low voice: "Baby, come back..." The father held a piece of clothing that the child often wore, and opened it, as if he was being followed by a galloping soul, and then quickly closed it again, saying, "I'm back!" In the silent valley, the continuous voices of the two people echoed continuously. The shouts and echoes were entangled, one answering and one answering. "Baby, come back..." "came back!" "Baby, come back..." "came back!" One answer, one answer, one answer... Superstition?stupid?Or self-comfort? The next definition is that important to you?You'd better listen quietly, listen to the despair and expectation in the call, after you understand it, you will know that these so-called definitions are no longer important. There is also such a group of people in charge of calling out souls in the mental hospital, these are the doctors and nurses.They have been calling out to the souls of patients, hoping that they will wake up one day, and hope that they will return to their souls one day. Thinking of this, the scene in my mind changed.With his mean smile on his face, Xiao Bai called affectionately from the valley: Tang Ping, come back... When this scene suddenly appeared in my mind, I was like eating a fly and disgusted myself once. At this moment, there was a noise on the first floor, and then the first floor was boiling, like a vegetable market.I know that the patients on the first floor are making trouble again, which has long been common in mental hospitals.At the beginning, I was still surprised and fresh, but now I am used to it.And I'm so used to it that it feels strange if there are no patients making trouble. "Open the iron door, immediately! Open the iron door for me!" I remember this voice, it was the lunatic who tried to escape by smashing the iron gate on the first day, and then was subdued by Doctor Xiao.This lunatic play is worth watching. Heroin rushed downstairs to watch the play, and I also got up from the bed and went to the stairs to look down. The lunatic confronted the male nurses with a pair of surgical scissors in his hand. He might have snatched it while the nurse was removing the stitches from his wound.This lunatic is indeed a tough guy. From the first day he came in, he kept making troubles, fighting with the patients in the same room.No less wounded, no less beaten.He can't be restrained all day long, but can only be strictly supervised. No wonder Dr. Xiao was unwilling to treat him from the very beginning. A young nurse rushed out of his ward, shouting: "Stop him, stop him!" Her arm was scratched and was bleeding continuously, staining the holy white nurse's uniform red. Six guards surrounded him, but none of them dared to step forward. This lunatic is notoriously ruthless in fights, and he is also very strong.In this manic state, there is nothing he can't do.The lunatic waved the surgical scissors in his hand, glared, and roared: "Open the iron door, or I will kill you!" Finally, Dr. Xiao rushed down from the fourth floor, where he was doing ward rounds.He glanced at the lunatic, and then yelled at the male guards, "Don't surround him, let him come out, I'll open the door for him." The male nurses had seen Dr. Xiao's abilities long ago, and upon hearing this, they looked at each other and retreated to the sides.Dr. Xiao took out the key, walked to the big iron door of the male patient building, opened the door and turned to the lunatic and said, "Wang Zhiqiang, calm down, I will open the door for you now." The lunatic is very jealous of Dr. Xiao. On the first day of admission, he was restrained by Dr. Xiao and couldn't move.If he wanted to find someone he was afraid of in this hospital, it was Dr. Xiao.He stared at Dr. Xiao suspiciously: "You...don't play tricks!" A sneer sneered at the corner of Dr. Xiao's mouth, "I can't wish for you to leave, and I still use tricks to keep you?" As he spoke, he pushed open the iron door and pointed outward: "Go! Let's see how long it takes for the police to catch you back! Your parents have long since left you alone. Try to see if you can knock on the door of your house." Door! Look where you go out to find food, I think you can't even ask for a glass of water!" The lunatic's attacking posture changed. Although he was still holding on to the scissors tightly, his hands were already hanging down, and there was a trace of confusion in his eyes.All he thought about from the beginning was how to escape from this mental hospital, but he never thought about what would happen after he got out. Seeing the lunatic's posture changed, Dr. Xiao sighed, "Wang Zhiqiang, think about what you have been doing for more than twenty years? Fighting, making trouble, anger, anger that you can't even control, constant anger .” "Because of your anger, you can't find a job, and even if you find it, you will be fired soon. Your parents keep whispering in your ears that XX's son is now a manager, and the salary is so much. Look at you! I I know you actually want it too, you also want to have such a good job so that your parents can speak with their chests up among relatives and neighbors." Dr. Xiao shook his head, "But your temper has made this impossible for you. You can only vent your dissatisfaction in endless anger. In fact, you also think about it. You really want to be like so-and-so, have a Good work, to repay parents for their upbringing. Every time you see them dare not mention their son's work to others, your heart feels as uncomfortable as being stabbed by a knife." When talking about this, Dr. Xiao pointed at the lunatic, "But look at yourself now, do you think it is possible for you to go on like this? Take those scissors and grab a good job, right? Go be A coolie is almost the same, only a coolie can make money by strength! Do you want to be like this for the rest of your life?" The lunatic held his head, tightly covered his ears, squatted down, tears of endless annoyance poured out of his eyes: "Stop it, stop it... I don't want to hear it, I don't want to hear it!" Dr. Xiao walked over and squatted down, "Help yourself, cure your bad temper. What are you still doing with these scissors? Are you using scissors to treat diseases?" Doctor Xiao stretched out his right hand in front of him, and the lunatic slowly handed over the scissors to his hand.Dr. Xiao took the scissors, sighed, and then greeted the male nurse next to him, "Take him back to the ward, don't make things difficult for him. Leave him alone for a while, and I'll go see him later." Finally, Dr. Xiao helped the stabbed nurse to the treatment room for bandaging.He succeeded again, but at that moment I saw the sadness in his eyes again.I don't know why this man is sometimes as cunning as a fox, but sometimes as sullen as a poet. I stood there for a while, then decided to go to the treatment room.When we arrived in the treatment room, Dr. Xiao had already helped the nurses bandage up his hands and feet nimbly. "Xiaoqing, is it still hurting?" "Much better, thank you Dr. Xiao." "In the future, we must be careful of patients' sudden attacks, and pay attention to the hidden body language of patients' every move. Also, patients with a history of violence like this should be handed over to male nurses." "I... I think he is normal, there is nothing wrong with him, and he cooperated with me to remove the stitches. Who knew that he suddenly grabbed the scissors halfway, and I subconsciously reached out to stop him, but he stabbed me with the scissors." The nurse. The voice trembled and said. "It's okay, actually he can't control himself, I think he will apologize to you later." Dr. Xiao comforted. The nurse smiled wryly, "Fortunately, it wasn't the face that was stabbed, otherwise no one would want it." "Xiaoqing, how can such a good girl like you be nobody wants you, you're just talking nonsense." "Doctor Xiao, you are not allowed to laugh at me...my family has arranged several blind dates for me..." "Oh? How did the talk go, who is so lucky to take our hydrangea from Xiao Qing?" "Oh, I'm lucky. It's good to talk about everything at the beginning. When I heard that I work in a mental hospital, my face immediately changed, as if watching a monster. Some asked me: Have all the nurses in your mental hospital learned Martial arts? The kind that can knock down patients with one punch? Will you become mentally abnormal after staying in the mental hospital for a long time?" Doctor Xiao sighed, "Don't worry about what other people say, you are a good girl. Sooner or later, you will meet someone who really understands you and cherishes you." "I don't even know why I chose this job. The salary is so low that I can't even support myself, but the job is so dangerous that it's like fighting on the front line. My parents asked me to change jobs, but I still refused to change. Even my I don't even know why I have to suffer this..." the nurse said with sobs. "Because...you are an angel." Dr. Xiao replied seriously. This sentence made the nurse laugh, "You are an angel, you shit!" "I'm serious, you are all real angels, and only you can deserve the title of angel in white. You are all angels who fell into the mortal world to heal the sickness, cut off the wings of flying, and are willing to imprison yourself in this mental hospital院里。”萧医生的声音很认真，很深情，也很忧伤。 “萧医生你这甜言蜜语的，可不就为了让我们留在这里陪你嘛。”护士不好意思了，反嗤道。我虽然看不到治疗室里的情形，不过我能想象她脸上此时肯定已经浮起了迷人的娇羞。 “呀，又被你看穿！”萧医生故作很惊讶地回道。 “萧医生你坏死了！不理你了，我继续去干活了。”护士娇嗔了一句，拉门而出，我也赶紧跑到窗边装作在看风景。 “小心点手，这段时间别干粗重活。”萧医生在后面急急交代道。 “知道了。”护士应了一声，关上门，脚步轻盈地走向楼梯口。 走到楼梯口的时候还开心地转了个圈，我看到了她脸上好看的绯红。转完了圈，她又小心地打量了一下四周，没人注意，还好还好……她收敛起笑意，向楼下走去。 原来在精神病院里，不仅病人需要精神治疗，护士也需要精神治疗。 原来玩暧昧也可以玩得这么简单，原来甜言蜜语也可以和爱情无关，原来精神病院里有这么多我不知道的原来。 我又想到了一个问题：护士需要心理治疗和鼓励的时候可以找萧白，那他自己有烦恼时又该找谁呢？ 我回到大厅的时候，大厅正中的电视机正在直播新闻报道：吸血鬼再次犯案，手法更加凶残可怖。 我看到了抢拍的几个画面。还是男裸尸，一样是内脏和眼珠被掏空，全身被利器划满了网状伤口，颈动脉处一样有两颗尖牙印。不同的是这次裸尸被倒立着钉在十字架上，十字架笔直地插在地上。 然后护士就快步地走过来换了个正在播放音乐剧的频道，因为病人看到这种镜头有可能会造成恐慌。 今天真是繁忙的一天，我心中感慨道。 果然，下午马千里就飞奔而至，速度和他的名字一样快，怀中还抱着一个大公文包。我继续跟去看热闹，我发现我已经喜欢上了偷听和窥探。以前我没这毛病，是最近才染上的，因为在精神病院里似乎只剩下这点娱乐了。 马千里敲了敲萧医生办公室的门，还没等里面应答，就急急推门进去。 “萧医生，新闻看了吗？” “嗯，听说了。怎么，昨晚你的弟兄睡着了？”萧医生半挑衅地问道。 “我确实让他们加强巡逻了，但这东西怎么防啊？我又没权力调动全市的警力……” “其实你也防不住，被害人肯定早就死了，他只是在等雨夜出来抛尸而已。就是看能不能碰巧在他抛尸的时候抓住他。” “我在东四环布置了警力的，但他这次却抛尸在西二环，是一个司机下车进林子里小便时发现的。领导非常重视，给我丢下一句话，要是破不了这个案子，我就可以提前退休了。” “哦，所以马队长您终于急了？” “哎，我的萧大医师啊，您就别挖苦我了成不，这不是毫无头绪才来麻烦您出马的嘛。您看，我把所有内部资料档案都给您带来了。” “帮您破案，有奖金拿没？” 这老狐狸还真是个财迷，一点都不含糊，开口就是钱。我心里骂了一句，你这个道貌岸然的贪钱鬼！我走到窗户边，找了个好角度，开始窥探。 估计马千里也是同一个反应，愣了愣，才说道：“这个我会向上级申请的，不过你要切实给予有价值线索才行。” “嗯。”萧医生淡淡地应了一声，接过公文包，打开，开始看资料和照片。 老半天，萧医生才起声问道：“路上的轮胎印你们查出什么没有？” “没什么有用的线索，泥土采样中找到城郊常长的黄草，除此以外并没有什么重大发现。” “被害人的身份呢？你们都查到没？” “都是街头的流浪汉或乞丐，所以关系网彻底断了。” “嗯。”萧医生又是一个淡淡的鼻音，开始翻看那些现场照片。 老半天马千里才叹气道：“这些照片连我看到都觉得脊背发凉，这个凶手实在是太可怕了。” 萧医生仔细地揣摩着每一张照片，用手去比划那些伤口，过了很久才回道：“他会越来越凶残，要是还抓不住他，他的下次犯案时间不会超过这个月。” “什么？这个月他还会再次犯案？”马千里脸色一变。 萧医生举起拍得最全面的一张照片，就是那张倒立的十字架和裸尸。背景是一座矮山，太阳正好斜在山顶上，阳光撒在尸体上，有一种无法形容的和谐感。他点上一根烟，深深吸上一口，然后吐到照片上，让那张照片笼罩在烟雾之中。烟雾在照片上流连，然后又逐渐散去。 他清冷的声音淡淡地说道：“看到这张照片你还不明白吗？他已经成功蜕变了。现在的他……已经是一个完整的连环杀人犯。” 马千里无法理解这句话，给了一个“什么意思？”的眼神。 萧医生抽出另一张照片，“这是他第一次犯案时的现场照片，就是简单的抛尸，然后匆匆离去。这时候他还有所忌讳，他还会慌张。而到了第二次时，他已经没有了畏惧，在布置现场的时候，他的心情是平稳的、愉悦的。” “他可能还会吹着口哨，然后用手对比一下角度。他甚至都帮你们想到了将来拍照片的时候，你们从哪个位置好取景，好对焦。现在的这些对他来说已经不是抛尸了，明白吗？” “不是抛尸，那是什么？” 萧医生冰冷的目光回望向马千里，将第二具裸尸的照片举到他面前，“这是他的作品，他在向所有人展示他的作品！” 马千里整个人僵住了，一张嘴半天合不拢。 萧医生没有管他反应如何，只是取出双面胶，将那些血腥的照片一张一张地贴在墙上。然后向后退了两步，整体观看，时不时又走过去凑近某一张仔细端详。 半个小时后，马千里忍不住开口了，“萧医生，你倒是看出什么来了？至少给我们推断一下凶手是什么人吧。” “你们呢，你们推断凶手是什么样的？” “男性，现场鞋印虽然被雨水破坏，但还能测量出对方中等偏胖身材，1.85米左右的身高。从平齐和一步到位的Y形刀口上看来，凶手学过解剖，有可能是个医务工作者。按理说，身高1.85米，而且又很壮实，应该很引人注目，不难筛选才对。” 萧医生闻言摇头一笑，“难怪半年来你们什么都没查到。” "How to say?" “凶手选择在雨夜抛尸，为的就是给你们加大取证难度。在大雨滂沱过后，你们找到的脚印，其实就是凶手扛着尸体时的脚印。也只有这时候才会留下这么深的脚印，能在雨夜过后还保留着。而且扛着尸体走，单步长和平时也不同。你们的计算应该没有错，但是犯了一个低级的常识错误。” 马千里一拍脑袋，“对啊！也就是说体型计算公式应该减去被害人的重量，身高的计算也不准确。” 萧医生点了点头，“还有，他可能学过医学，但他从事的应该是艺术类工作。” “这又是为什么？” 萧医生又拿起那张照片，“如果你把它当成一张单纯的艺术照，你就会感觉到这难以言喻的美感，带着浓厚的艺术气息。” “美感……”这个词让马千里有点难以接受。 “艺术作品，只有从事艺术工作的人，其惯性思维才会经常和作品关联在一起。这第二具尸体就是他心中的作品。”萧医生目不转睛地看着照片说道。 “对了，这个倒插的十字架是什么意思，好像是什么仪式似的。”马千里突然想起这个重要的问题。 “马队长你听过撒旦教吗？” “撒旦教？”马千里愣住了。 萧医生又点起了另一根烟，马千里也接过烟盒点上一根。这两个烟鬼，抽死你们！我在窗外咒骂道，因为我只能看着他们抽，肺里一阵发痒。 萧医生继续说道：“撒旦教始于12世纪，是世界上最早的邪教之一。顾名思义，撒旦教的教神就是地狱魔王撒旦。有多个分支，部分分支最终发展成为正统宗教，而余下的则坚持着他们的初始教义，成了隐匿着的恐怖邪教。该邪教还保留着献祭和黑弥撒的传统，包括活人祭、强奸、暴力等邪教活动，是世界上最可怕的邪教之一。” “最有名的当属德国的丹尼尔和曼德拉，这对夫妇就是撒旦教徒。他们在结婚后的第六个月将工友弗兰克骗到公寓，然后连砍66刀，并将他的血吸干。后来被捕的时候，他们交代说这样可以组成魔鬼数字666。” “吸血……吸血鬼！这就是那个凶手为什么要把自己扮演成吸血鬼的原因？”马队长醒悟过来，问道。 萧医生点了点头，“是的，因为在邪撒旦教，入教第一关就是喝人血。邪撒旦教认为吸血可以获得永生，可以成为撒旦的化身——吸血鬼！” “那个倒立的十字架呢？” “那是撒旦教的典型标志，倒立的十字架，代表对抗耶稣，堕入黑暗。而另一个更有名的典型标志，则是倒立的五芒星。”萧医生抽出第二具裸尸的近照，递给马千里，“看看这些网状伤口像什么。” 马千里这次终于看明白了，“是无数交织在一起的五芒星！”接着又一愣，“等等，这……难道说凶手不是一个人，而是一群人，一个邪教组织？” 萧医生又是一个微笑，“凶手正是想要你这么认为，你要是这么想就正中了他的圈套。” “啊？”马千里又是一愣，这死萧白兜那么大一个圈子，竟又把他带回到原地。 萧医生接过照片，贴回墙上，继续说道：“首先，你要知道一个邪教组织想要长期存在，最重要的是什么。那就是机密和隐匿，就算是举办黑弥撒，也只会偷偷进行，而不是这样大张旗鼓地展示尸体。这是公然向你们挑战，也是在自取灭亡。” “其次，这前后两具尸体看似一样，但又不完全一样。你再看这第一张裸尸的近照。”说着又递给马千里一张照片。 马千里接过仔细端详，萧医生指了指照片，“看到没，这具尸体的网状伤口其实是用利器胡乱切划的。也就是说凶手在第一次抛尸时，压根就没想让这尸体和撒旦教扯上什么关系。他这样做的原因其实就是在发泄。” “萧医生你的意思是说，凶手在第二次杀人后才想到的撒旦教，企图用撒旦教来转移我们的视线？” 萧医生点了点头，“是的，这就是我推断他是从事艺术类工作的原因之一。他从新闻报道和舆论中得到了灵感，然后继续创作，最后再向我们展示作品。这就是艺术家一直以来的行为模式。” “那他到底是不是撒旦教的教徒？”马千里困惑道。 萧白沉吟了一下，摇了摇头，“应该不是，否则第一次抛尸时他就会这么做了。这应该是他后来得到的灵感，继而发挥。但有一点是肯定的，凶手肯定对西方文化比较了解，否则不会联想到对国内而言很生僻的撒旦教。” 萧白又翻了翻那些资料，继续说道：“还有尸检结果也有让我想不通的地方，第一具尸体体内残余血液为正常人体的20%，第二具却有55%。那两颗尖牙印是利器扎的没错，区别就在于第一具是生前扎的，第二具却是死后扎的。” “这区别说明什么？” 萧医生摇了摇头，“容我想想，一会儿再告诉你。” “那这凶手的杀人动机是什么？难道他就是单纯地想杀人，不杀人就浑身难受的那种变态杀人狂？”马千里又问。 萧白把目光又移回照片上，“不，我看到这些尸体照片时，第一感觉就是凶手似乎是在刻意隐瞒什么，有一种欲盖弥彰的强烈意图。而在我发现他试图转移我们的视线到撒旦教上之后，就更加肯定了他的这种意图。他有明确的目的，而且在试图隐藏他的真实目的。” “开始我们认定凶手的杀人动机和黑市人体器官买卖有关，但随着案情的发展越来越迷离，我们现在也迷茫了。”马千里叹了口气。 “别迷茫，凶手在放烟幕弹，为的就是让你们转移视线。” “那这个凶手到底是一个什么样的人？” “他在没有杀人之前，表现出的应该是回避型人格，自闭、孤僻、自卑，兢兢业业，安分守己，是别人眼中的老实人，甚至是别人眼中的蠢蛋。但在他的精神世界里其实一直潜伏着反社会人格，并且在一次突变中爆发了出来，突变极有可能是失业。人格改变是很罕见的，所以这个凶手的成长历程肯定很曲折。” “为什么会出现这种转变，人格应该是与生俱来，永久不变的啊。” “马队长你听说过人格面具吗？荣格精神分析理论之一。简单地说，就是一个人为了适应社会和环境，隐藏起自己的真实人格，尽量去扮演一个能得到别人喜欢和认同的人。” “这个所有人都有吧，出了家门谁都得戴上面具啊，特别是交际应酬的时候。”说到这马千里不禁叹了口气。 “反社会人格才是凶手的真实人格，回避型人格就是他的人格面具。而且这面具的形成时间较早，可以追溯到他的童年。从他杀的都是男人，而且表现出反社会人格看来，他最有可能的童年成长历程是母爱剥夺，也就是早年丧母，而后长期遭受父亲虐待。” “这又是怎么推理出来的？” “母爱剥夺是反社会人格的重要成因，而没有父爱或者缺乏父爱的孩子，长大后会表现出的性格是胆小、自闭、孤僻。” 马千里点了点头，“萧医生你继续说。” “原本这样发展下去，他肯定会形成反社会人格。但是不知道发生了什么情况，他突然换了个相对较好的家庭环境。也就是这个家庭环境和后来受到的良好教育，压制住了他的反社会人格。这时候他的人格面具就形成了，表现出了回避型人格，他努力想当一个别人眼中的乖孩子，他也以为自己就是那个乖孩子。” 马千里开始回味这句话：“寄养在别人家里，没有父母的爱，却又要想尽办法得到监护人认同和欢迎，一个自闭、胆小、孤僻的乖孩子。” “荣格说过，一个人如果这样长期热衷和沉溺于自己所扮演的角色，与自己的天性背道而驰，将会让自己陷入长期的紧张状态中。就像一个越吹越大的气球，吹得越大，爆炸的时候就会越响。所以当他终于压抑不住情绪而爆发时，就会表现出他的反社会人格，一步就跨到了犯罪的顶端——杀人！” “当然，这些都是我的个人主观推断。不能一概而论，更不能直接作为证据，马队长你当是个参考就好。”萧医生补充道。 马千里佩服地点了点头，“心理学真的很神奇，竟能预测到人的过去。” “多拉德曾经提出过一个很有名的理论：挫折——侵犯理论。很适用于这个凶手的心理转变，他必定经历了生活中的挫折，才会走上这条不归路。” “失业，加上长期遭受别人的轻视和挫折，终于让他爆发出了自己的本性，走向犯罪的道路。”马千里似乎开始对这个凶手的形象清晰化。 “还有，我刚刚有个想不通的地方，在我解读他心理的过程中找到了答案。凶手可能在夺取第一个被害人器官时，不知道什么原因，迫使他先放被害人的血。血量减少会引起脏器衰竭，这会严重影响脏器的质量。所以第二次他就吸取了经验，做完一切后才扎那两个牙印。” “那他为什么不直接找辞退他的人下手呢？”马千里又疑惑道。 “这就是他的高明之处，我们要对付的不是一个失去理智的变态杀人狂。而是一个受过高等教育，知识面很广，冷静的，具有极高犯罪头脑的杀人犯。” “不是他不想，而是他不能，他明白被害人人际关系网的概念。所以他专找街头的流浪汉下手，让你们无法从关系网上找线索。” 马千里点了点头，萧医生也综合警方的资料写出了他对凶手的心理画像： 男性，25-35岁，中等偏瘦身材，1.7米左右。童年曲折，有可能是在寄养家庭长大。受过中高等教育，有可能接触过医学，但最终从事的是艺术类工作，而且已经被辞退。 性格孤僻，平常沉默寡言，一直是别人眼中的出气筒，几乎没在别人面前发过怒。愿意接触和帮助陌生人，给人第一印象是礼貌，好接触。但不能深交，他甚至都没有带过朋友回家玩。目前单身或离异。 私家车也可以作为线索之一，按理说有私家车的人应该不会为钱而发愁。所以这辆车有可能是获赠或者继承的。 “现在我只分析到这些，有什么新的结论我再通知你。”萧医生将记录好的笔记递给马千里。 马千里接过就赶紧回去布置警力搜索本市所有对得上号的人，不过看来这个人数不会少于千人。别看萧白写了那么多，其实警方真正能用上的没有多少。理论是一回事，现实又是一回事，你不可能要求警察像了解自己家隔壁的大叔一样了解全市的每个人。 其实我连自家隔壁的大叔都不了解，开门上班，下班关门。我到现在为止都还不知道隔壁大叔姓什么，更别提他那老皇历一般的成长历程。你呢，你知道你家隔壁大叔姓什么吗？啊，你知道啊！太了不起了！那你知不知道他有可能就是连环杀人犯？