Chapter 50 Chapter 4 Ding Zi

"After you kill someone, everything will be different." This is what Leon said to Matilda, and it is what Xiaoguang said to me. Everything has changed for me now, forever. "Honey, do you think next year will be the end of the world?" My best classmate and best friend, Haimei, was lying on the railing of the atrium on the ninth floor of the Future Dream Building, looking at all kinds of people with "Merry" from the first floor to the ninth floor. Christmas" and the lighting of Santa Claus driving reindeer. "I have no idea." I almost leaned half of my body out of the railing, looking down at the huge Christmas tree on the ground floor. As long as I tiptoed a little, I would climb out of the railing, fall freely, and fall to the ninth floor, hitting the christmas tree in a Santa Claus suit. Five steps of blood splattered on the floor in front of mall employees who yawned in anticipation of getting off work early.

Have you ever felt this way?When I stood at a very high place, looking down at the abyss below 100 meters, looking at cockroach-like cars and ants-like people, I suddenly had the desire to jump. "If there is an end to the world, would you be afraid?" I paused for a moment, closed my eyes and took a deep breath, imagining myself flying over the railing: "No, I'm very happy." "Me too." Haimei smiled, picked up the heavy shopping bag, and put her arms around my shoulders, "Honey, in the whole class, no——it's the whole school, you are the only one who thinks like me, we are A natural sister, isn't it?"

"yes." "Let's go check out the new bags, hurry up!" The above is last year’s Christmas Eve, when Haimei and I went shopping at Future Dream Mall, played various amusement machines in the Tommy Bear Happy World on the fifth floor, and had a conversation after watching a movie. Three months and one week later, when the two of us came to the same place again, Haimei was unlucky. April 1.Sunday.Night, 22:19. Future Dream Mall, on the escalator from the fifth floor to the fourth floor, Haimei and I were discussing the issue of studying in the United States, and a boy in black clothes and black pants came up from the opposite direction. s eyes.

These eyes are also looking at me. Passed by. Thinking that in the next few years, I may have to look for him in the vast sea of ​​people, and I may never find him again, I can't help but look back at his back. The end of the world, one after another. I foolishly assumed—if, then, as long as I had held back my gaze from looking back at him, wouldn't the end of the world not have happened?Or the dream building will not sink into the ground in the future? He saved me. In the flickering lights, I looked at his star-like eyes, and I was sure that I would never let him go again. His name is Xiaoguang.

This is all I know of him.I don't know what his last name is, which school he studied in, whether he was a good student or a poor student or a bad boy, why he appeared here, and what kind of stories he had in the past. But why do I need these answers?I just need to know - he's Hikaru. Sometimes, I also asked myself this way - why should others know your past?What are your parents' occupations?What is your family's annual income?How big is your house?How much does your father drive a car worth? I really hate these whys!Hate people who ask questions!If it's the end of the world, let them die first!

Wouldn't it be better to know nothing?Just like him in front of me, this eighteen-year-old boy, I don’t know anything about him, and he doesn’t know anything about me. We only know each other’s gender, age, height, appearance, and the expression in his eyes. temperament. Oh my God!Knowing this is enough! In the ground where the sky is collapsing, he doesn't seem to want to escape, but thinks it's good to stay here. If it is really the end of the world, I would also like to stay, not just for him. My name is Ding Zi, I am eighteen years old, and I am a student in Class Three (2) of Siyi Middle School.Haimi is my classmate and the only friend in school.Her father was only a section chief of the district government, but he bought a mansion in the city center and a villa in the suburbs.She keeps changing the watches she brings back from Hong Kong, shows off her iPhone 4 at school, invites her classmates to sing at the till on Saturday nights, and privately gives the head teacher a VIP card for the SPA club.She looks down on any student in the class from the bottom of her heart, no matter whether the other party's parents are small civil servants or small bosses, or work in monopoly state-owned enterprises.

The only person who can make her feel inferior - is me. Not only because I am prettier than her, but also because every time I appear in front of her, I will wear a more plain but better-looking skirt than hers, step on more low-key but more expensive shoes, and wear less bland but more seductive clothes. People's perfume, listening to lesser but more elegant music, reading more obscure but more classic novels - she almost only reads Guo Jingming, but I have already started reading Annie Baby; like when she is still playing iPad 1, I have already started to use the iPad 2 to play video.

Therefore, it will always be me who leads the fashion trend of girls in the class. At the beginning, Haimei also envied and hated me, but she approached me very cleverly, dragged me out for shopping and fun, and praised me like a flower every time.Although I have become the idol of the girls, I am also the object of envy and hatred. It is not bad to have a second-generation official girl as a small follower.She began to pester me and ask me: What do parents do?Where do you live?What brand is the private car? I told her: My father is the chairman of an international trading company, flying around the world all year round; my mother is a producer of a film and television company, and she has to go out to film almost every month.So my parents didn't have time to drive to school to pick me up.And my family lives in a top-notch mansion in the city center, and anyone who enters or exits must strictly check their credentials, so it is not convenient for students to visit.

Hae Mi believed everything I said and became my best friend.When the two of us are in pairs, it makes the surrounding students even more eclipsed.Even the teachers came to curry favor with us, such as putting a question mark on the test papers that should have deducted points, or bumping into us in entertainment venues where minors are not allowed to enter, and pretended not to see us. Unexpectedly, at the end of the world, the two of us survived.The whole family of those students who were despised by us died, right?The homeroom teacher who likes to strike up conversations with rich parents the most, I don't know if she was crushed to death or burned to death?

When I think about it, I can't describe my emotions, whether it's sad or gloating. Hey, actually I still sympathize with them, I don't know what Haimi will think. There is another point that makes me desperate—even in the bottom of the end of the world, I still have the same dream every night—after entering high school, whether I recite English words before going to bed, watch Stephen Chow movies, or read the Bible silently , Buddhist scriptures, and Buddhist scriptures, it is difficult to avoid that nightmare.I would dream of many familiar faces, cast contemptuous glances at me, and make harsh ridicules... In my dreams, I usually have two endings: one is to pull out a knife and stab them all to death, and the other is to go to school Jumping from the roof - I'd wake up sweating and screaming after I hit the ground so fast.

Damn, why at this point, I still can't get out of this dream?Therefore, I would sit on the railing of the atrium every day, recalling the nightmare of the previous night, only to find that the faces of those classmates and teachers in the dream had been replaced by these underground survivors. Xiaoguang thought I was really going to commit suicide, so he dragged me off the railing several times, pointed at my nose and cursed me. One day, he was the first to sit on the railing of the atrium.Then he said he liked me. At this moment, "Nessun Dorma", the most classic aria in the opera "Turandot", miraculously sounded in my ears!God!Who knew what I was thinking, sneaked into the radio room of the building and released this song?I closed my eyes with trembling heart, waiting for him to kiss my lips, the lips that have never been kissed by the opposite sex in eighteen years. After waiting for a long time, "Nobody Sleeps Tonight" sang the last line, but Xiaoguang ran away. I began to wonder if he likes men, just like the beautiful boys in many BL novels. On the third day, the rich second generation named Guo Xiaojun died.When I saw his body, I felt very refreshed. Which righteous man "eliminates harm for the people"?I dare say that when the ammunition and food are exhausted, this bastard will definitely become a burden to everyone, and he will die early! After a day, six people died!Four of them were seriously wounded, and they were killed by Shampoo girl Axiang. As a result, everyone began to worry about whether the person next to them would suddenly become a murderous demon. The cleaning lady in her forties started pestering me constantly.She moved next door to me and would pass by my door every morning and evening.But I didn't want to talk to her, and when I walked in front of her, I turned my head away or simply turned a blind eye.Haemi asked me what happened to the female cleaner, and I replied nonchalantly, "I was probably stimulated at the end of the world and became mentally ill." The female cleaner was almost with me, especially when I was alone, I couldn't help turning around and yelling: "Are you mentally ill? Don't follow me all the time!" This middle-aged woman has long been used to being submissive, and sighed: "Hey, I'm just worried about you, so many people died in the past two days, you alone—" "Shut up! Please don't say these unlucky words!" She lowered her head and said nothing, and continued to follow me like a tail until I said coldly: "Go to hell!" Unexpectedly, she could really bear it, lowered her head and said, "I can't die, because you are still alive." A day later, she was literally dead. I thought, if she hadn't followed me every step of the way during those two days, maybe the one who was raped wasn't Mo Xing'er, but me. At six o'clock in the morning, I slept soundly. I didn't know what happened in the early morning, and I didn't know that Zhou Xuan, Tao Ye and others were aggressively chasing and killing the rapist Xu Pengfei.I was woken up by the noise upstairs, combed my hair and walked out of the shop, only to find the female cleaner squatting by the corridor. It's her again! I walked downstairs angrily, and she followed behind, all the way to the bathroom on the ground floor, and I gave her a hard push. She fell to the ground and got up tenaciously: "Have you forgotten your origin?" She hit the dead spot that I can't escape-what a fucking bad luck, at the end of the world, everyone is about to die, why is this thing not over yet?How long do I have to last until the end?The nightmares that came every night turned into tears. "Why weren't you crushed to death in the earthquake earlier?" When I said this, I couldn't hear her answer clearly.The tears kept flowing, I just wanted to get rid of her quickly and never see this face again! Like a chicken without a head, I rushed to the other end of the corridor.Xiaoguang took me through that road, leading directly to the Future Dream Hotel, just like opening a door and entering the wizarding world of Harry Potter. When I broke into the dark hotel lobby crying all the way and pushed open the small door behind the front desk in a panic, I didn't expect that there was someone in the small room! The cold metal rests on my neck, and the slightest movement would slit my windpipe. "Don't make a sound, or I'll kill you!" Suddenly, I remembered that white-collar worker named Xu Pengfei. The beast!He actually started kissing my ears!I was so frightened that I didn't even have the thought of resisting.He pinned me to the floor and started groping my chest.I was so sick I just wanted to vomit and wish I could die soon and end all the humiliation. "stop!" whose voice?Cleaning lady!She followed all the way and heard the movement in the small room. Come and save me!I beg you! When I felt the pressure on my body disappear, I was about to get up from the ground, but I heard a sound—the sound of the tip of a knife piercing into the human body. I saw Xu Pengfei holding a knife in his hand, but I couldn't see the tip of the knife because it was completely buried in the female cleaner's body. I instinctively let out a scream.The beast let go of the knife and fled out of the small room in a panic. The female cleaner fell to the ground. Her gushing blood was everywhere, her whole face changed color, and her eyes were still staring at me. She died for me!It was she who blocked the knife for me! It's her...it's her...it's her...sorry, I know you, I know who you are, and I know who I am.It's just that I never want to admit it, to others, or even to myself. I would rather believe that I am the self I imagined and fabricated. I am the most useless, meanest and most pitiful high school senior girl in the world. Three years ago, my parents died in a car accident.My father is not a wealthy businessman, but an ordinary taxi driver. He was driving his mother who worked the night shift at a 24-hour convenience store home when an earth-moving truck overturned and both of them were crushed to death.I was all alone, with no relatives to take care of me—it was only later that I was told that I was not born to my parents and had been adopted shortly after birth. I don't want to believe this is true.Then something even more unbelievable happened—a middle-aged woman came to my house and told me that she was my biological mother. Her name is Yu Pingxiang, a woman who came to work in the city from the countryside, and a cleaner in the Dream Building in the future. She is mainly responsible for cleaning the toilets - I only answered her with one word: "Get lost!" But she took out the papers left by my adoptive parents when they adopted me, as well as a group photo of her holding me as a baby, and even a copy of my birth certificate.And in the process of sorting out the relics of my adoptive parents, I did find the name "Yu Pingxiang" and the little dress she left for me-she said that the little dress was made by herself when she was pregnant. And accurately stated that the pattern embroidered on it was a purple flower. That's right, she is my biological mother, although I have never admitted it, although I prefer to believe that the appearance of this middle-aged female cleaner is completely an illusion produced by my excessive sadness. Yu Pingxiang said that I was an illegitimate daughter. When my biological father met her, they worked in the same restaurant. He delivered food and she was a waiter—I really wanted to burn down that restaurant! That year, when she was twenty-two years old, when she found out that she was pregnant, he had already changed to another place to work, and he could no longer be found in the vast crowd.She was going to kill me at first——if I could travel back, I would definitely lend her five hundred yuan and send her to the women's hospital to kill me, and it was guaranteed to be a painless abortion!But she thought about it and couldn't bear it, and finally gave birth to me. When I heard this, I scolded her for being irresponsible.And she shed tears of aggrieved, in fact, she wanted to raise me, no matter how much I suffer.However, she was seriously ill at that time, and seeing that both mother and daughter could not survive, she had to find a good family to send the child to. She met my adoptive parents—they are the people I love the most in my life. They have been married for ten years but have no children. They are looking for a healthy child to adopt, and they happily took me away.But they kept in touch and agreed that she would have the right to visit me in the future. Fifteen years later, she was still working in this city, but never married again.She never came to see me officially, but she hid quietly at the door of my house many times, watching me go out in a red dress for the first time, learning the nursery rhymes for the first time, seeing the little red flower in the class for the first time , Seeing the first time I had a boy waiting downstairs... Actually, she was always by my side, but I never paid attention to her. I still kicked her out the door. That night, I cried all night, more miserable than when my adoptive parents died. In the same year, I was admitted to the senior department of Siyi Middle School. After the adoptive parents died, they left a deposit of 200,000 yuan.When they were alive, they loved me very much, almost to the point of doting.From elementary school to junior high school, no matter what I asked, I would agree to it and let me live like a princess—I decided to use up all the money in the three years of high school. I spend a lot of money to buy designer clothes, invite my classmates to eat and sing, and make Haimi, who is the richest in the class, pale in comparison.I became the envy of everyone, and even the teacher was deceived by me.Every time there is a parent-teacher meeting, there is always a man who appears as a wealthy businessman—since I am underage, I must have a guardian, and my adoptive father’s younger brother naturally takes on this responsibility, including attending my parent-teacher meeting.And this prodigal son who always eats, drinks and has fun is best at bragging - the condition is that the right to use the house left by his adoptive parents must be transferred to his name. When I first arrived in the second half of the second year of high school, I found that there were very few savings left.When I was facing desperation and was about to run away from home, Yu Pingxiang came to me and gave me a heavy bag of cash.This is the money she has saved from working for more than ten years, and she is not willing to spend almost a penny, so as to leave it to me in the future.I took the money without saying a word, and drove her away indifferently. As of last week, the cash she left me was only about two hundred yuan left. I never called her mom. On the night of April Fool's Day, when Haimei and I walked in the Future Dream Mall, my heart was full of fear.I have no money to spend, and tomorrow I will change from a princess to a maid!If I still want to invite Haimei and my classmates to the restaurant or the cash register, I will have to sell all the designer clothes on my body—if I can get back one-tenth of the original purchase price.I don't know how many more days my disguise can last, how many days I can hide from my classmates and teachers including my buddies.For three years, that nightmare has never stopped, and it seems that when I wake up tomorrow morning, it will become true. When I desperately wanted to jump off the fifth floor of the shopping mall, I not only saw my little light, but also looked forward to the day I dreamed of—the end of the world. The earth is destroyed, and we are the last survivors of mankind. I am so happy to hear the news!No more worrying about my secret being known, no more lying about my dad who "has a lot of friends in California", no more dreading nightmares, no more wondering where the next money is going to come from Get it or use something to replace it. It's over, that's great, my acting is over, and so is your idiot's admiration - or being tricked.Everything is back to the original point, there are no more official daughters, wealthy daughters, or illegitimate daughters of migrant workers, and they will all die in the same ugly way anyway! The only thing I am worried about is Yu Pingxiang, the cleaning lady.Every time I went to the Future Dream Mall, I was a little uneasy, worried that I would suddenly run into her in the toilet.So, every time I held back and refused to go to the bathroom, luckily I never met her.However, if Haimei hadn't insisted on dragging me here, I would never have set foot here, let alone approach Yupingxiang. However, here she is, the woman who gave me life, conceived me for ten months, suffered countless hardships, and brought me into this world.Here she is, the woman who has been watching me silently and giving all my savings.She's here, with me through the end of the world, and saved me from insult. She is dying. However, when she was still breathing, when she was still holding her last breath, looking at me with her dying eyes, waiting for me to say those two words - I didn't say anything, just like in the past, just like how many times She still faced her indifferently like she was a few minutes ago, unable to say those two words. I'm sorry, but I was the one who should have been crushed to death earlier in the earthquake! Mom, after all, she didn't hear me call her "Mom", after all, she didn't hold her last breath, and died full of regrets.I watched her eyes gradually become cloudy, touched her body gradually getting colder, and felt her pulse no longer responded. My mother died. She died to save me, with the red-stained knife still stuck in her chest.I was so stingy even calling "Mom". Tears came out of my eyes, and they slid down uncontrollably, dripping onto her dead face. Unfortunately, she never saw my tears until she died. I found that she was clutching a card in her hand, which was probably taken out of her pocket with her last breath after she was stabbed and fell to the ground. The words "Cleaning Department of Future Dream Mall" and a photo of a middle-aged woman, with her name underneath: Yu Pingxiang. This is my mother, the cleaner of Dream Mall in the future. She hangs this work card every day and cleans up the filth in the toilets of this building. She uses this hard-earned income to support my princess-like "" Rich girl" life. Before she died, she wanted to stuff this work card with her name and occupation into my hand, so that I would always remember her and whose daughter I am. I was shaking.The flashlight fell to the ground.I took the work permit from her gradually cold hands. Suddenly, someone broke into the small room and let out a scream. I could tell it was Haimi's voice. No, I don't want her to see it! But I couldn't do anything, I could only sit on the ground in a daze, letting my classmate and best friend look at me, and I also saw the dead female cleaner and her work card in my hand. Haimi's screaming lasted about two minutes. Finally, I looked up at her and stuffed my work card into my pocket. I really want to pick up a bunch of rags and stuff Haimi's mouth! Because her screams attracted other people—Zhou Xuan, Tao Ye, and my little light. I really want to shout out loudly, the word "Mom", but there is Haimei and my favorite Xiaoguang next to me, I don't have the courage to speak out, I don't want to be looked down upon by them...Zhou Xuan and Tao Ye confirmed the daughter After the cleaner died, she lifted her bloody body and went to the fourth basement to bury her. What can I say?Said that I was almost raped by Xu Pengfei?Said the cleaning lady died trying to save me because she was my real mother?And my so-called identity as a rich girl is all lies and pretense out of vanity? Haimi said something that shocked me too. She told Xiaoguang that the female cleaner found out that the rapist Xu Pengfei was with me in this small room, so he killed her. mean! I know Haimi also secretly likes Xiaoguang, but why does she use this method?Is she afraid that Xiaoguang will not know that I was almost raped by Xu Pengfei, or is she hinting to Xiaoguang that I have already been raped? Hikaru suddenly looked back into Haimi's eyes.She continued shamelessly: "I'm not lying." I really want to get into the deepest grave, why wasn't I the one stabbed to death by Xu Pengfei? However, Hikari hugged me and kissed my lips without any regard for Haimi's existence. It was the first time he kissed me and the first time I was kissed by a man.I could no longer pretend to be strong, and buried my head in his arms and wept bitterly. Xiaoguang is going to get me some towels and clothes.I grabbed his fingertips reluctantly, he stroked my hair, and left quickly. In this small room that still smelled of blood, only Haimi and I were left. "Ding Zi, let me ask you a question." She had never spoken to me in that tone before, it was the tone she would only use to the little girl selling flowers on the street on Valentine's Day. "What is your relationship with the woman who just died?" Did Haimi find out?No!I trembled violently, raised my head in embarrassment, and looked at the cold face of my buddy. I think I have to answer, but I can't answer in words.What she said is true, I am indeed a poor person, I am indeed a liar, I am indeed the kind of person she hates the most, and I am also the kind of person I hate the most! I can only answer with one thing - my right hand, which is still stained with mother's blood, fumbled around and touched something cold.Not sure what that is, but maybe it's my answer. Haimei continued to point at my nose and cursed: "You've been lying to me! In fact, you are a lowly born low-class person, how dare you pretend to be a rich person to associate with me..." I couldn't hear the last sentence clearly. The blood rushed to my brain, blocked my ear canal, blinded my eyes, and even blurred my consciousness. I stood up in silence, swung the cold object in a parabola with my right hand, and waited until it hit Haimei's head heavily, making the sound of colliding with bones, and turning into countless hard and sharp fragments——I saw clearly that it was a piece of glass vase. At the same time, I also saw a cavity of blood gushing out from Haimei's temple, splashing into my eyes, completely smearing my world into blood red. Hell is red. she died. In this red world, Haimi's eyes are still open, and a few pieces of broken glass are stuck in her temples, and a ball of red and white liquid flows out. I felt pain, both Haimi's pain and mine. I don't know how long it took, but when Xiaoguang came back here, what he saw was this scene, except that I was still like a statue, holding the remaining part of the vase in my hand. I didn't say anything, and there was absolutely no excuse, he already knew that I had killed someone. Xiaoguang was unexpectedly calm, and finally showed his true colors as a killer. He found a big cardboard box from nowhere, and just put Haimei in it and pushed it away. I wipe the blood from my eyes and the world turns from red to gray. I changed all my clothes, and I didn't forget to put my mother's work card in my pocket.He combed his hair again, opened a suitcase in the small room, found a bottle of perfume and sprinkled it on his body to cover up the smell of blood all over his body. Xiaoguang came back in a hurry and took me out of this place. No one noticed Hae Mi's disappearance.The only thing that comforted me was that Xiaoguang told me that Xu Pengfei had been killed with an electric drill. The rapist who killed a thousand knives must have died a miserable death. I don't know who killed him. Killing people is usually a sin, but sometimes it is also a merit. I don't know how to thank the person who killed Xu Pengfei. This afternoon, the last drop of diesel oil was exhausted, and the entire Future Dream Building fell into permanent darkness. In order to escape the turbid air, Xiaoguang and I fled to the shop on the eighth floor, and waited for death to kiss our lips in the faint flickering candlelight.The doomsday paradise in fantasy has become a desolate and cold tomb.Although there is a shortage of food and water, and Haimei has a secret room on the second basement floor, where she has stockpiled a large amount of living supplies—but, those are Haimei's things, and I don't want to take them, even if I starve to death here! The only thing I'm not afraid of is the dark. Because, I have my light. To my surprise, after only a short night, the only light in my life went out. It was the seventh day of the end of the world. In the early morning, when I woke up in the shop on the eighth floor, I opened my eyes in a daze, and touched the boy beside me, but only felt a cloud of cold air. Light, where are you?Why can't I see you?Even with all the flashlights on, I still can't see you! At this time, I only heard a burst of terrible gunshots coming from the distant downstairs, accompanied by barking dogs one after another... I flashed the biggest flashlight and rushed down, ignoring the dirty and stale air. He lowered his mask and called out to Xiao Guang. As soon as I ran down two flights of stairs, I bumped into Tao Ye, who was covered in blood and walked up with dull eyes.I stopped him to ask Xiaoguang's whereabouts, but he said he didn't see it. When I came to the atrium of the ground floor, I was forced to put on the mask again—this place has been turned into a slaughterhouse, full of dead cats and dogs, with many heads blooming, and dirty blood flowing all over the place, attracting countless flies and mice.I almost fainted. Passing by the supermarket on the basement level, I saw a shaky figure in the darkness. This figure looks very bloated, not the slender and vigorous Xiaoguang.Regardless of whether it was a dummy or a zombie, I boldly rushed over, stopped in front of that person, and illuminated the other person's face with a flashlight. The man's face was covered with a mask, only showing a pair of frightening eyes. When I took off the mask, I also tore off his mask. deal with!This man in his thirties, with a beard covered his pale face, stared at me expressionlessly. No, he is not alone, he is carrying someone behind his back! I grabbed Zhou Xuan's collar and pushed up the head of the man on his shoulders - under the long black hair was the last light of my life. The eighteen-year-old boy's eyes were closed, and he lay quietly on Zhou Xuan's back, but his face became cold, no matter how much I stroked and kissed his lips. he died.My heart is also dead. Zhou Xuan stood in place like a piece of wood, refusing to put Xiaoguang's body down.I slapped desperately.It wasn't until blood dripped from the corner of his mouth that he said in a daze, "I didn't kill him." "Who? Who did it?" I was almost insane, screaming through the grave. "Luo-hao-ran." He said the name word by word, with a tone that can only be found in hell. "Really?" "Believe me." In fact, when he said these three words, I already believed it. I cried like a little girl, and the tears turned to Zhou Xuan's back, and I pressed myself against Xiaoguang's body, only to find that his clothes were soaked in blood, and there was a hole in his back—how could there be such a despicable person? He stabbed him in the back! "Luo Haoran?" I returned to Zhou Xuan and clenched my fists, "I want to kill him!" "Wear a mask, or you will be poisoned to death at any time." Zhou Xuan continued to walk forward with the dead Xiaoguang on his back. I imagined that he was still alive, lying on Zhou Xuan's back alive. I held his hand and walked to the grave and eternal hell together. Four floors underground. The cats and dogs above started to eat the dead, but in this place where the dead are most concentrated, only mice and flies dare to patronize.Because the smell of rotting corpses is the strongest here, and the gas with corpse poison is emitted, even cats and dogs can't bear it.It is safest to bury Xiaoguang here. I helped Zhou Xuan put the dead boy on the edge of the pile of corpses, and the flashlight swept across the rotting bodies, but it didn't frighten me at all.I do think of the ending, Matilda holding Julien's head to bury - I would like to be such a woman. After finishing Xiaoguang's burial, Zhou Xuan and I stood silently for a while until the foul-smelling air passed through the mask, and we couldn't hold on any longer. Then, for a whole day, Zhou Xuan and I searched for the traces of Luo Haoran in the underground of Doomsday—shoot and kill if we meet them.We each prepare weapons, from iron rods, daggers, ropes, poisons to electric drills... I dare not look in the mirror, but I think of Milla Jovovich in "Resident Evil". And I also imagined a thousand ways to kill Luo Haoran in my heart-every way is horrific, and I wonder if I am naturally suitable to be an executioner.But the cruelest killing method is not enough to offset his crime of killing Xiaoguang!Why did he kill Xiaoguang? By the way, Xiaoguang said that he is a killer, and he came here to perform a mission to kill Luo Haoran. Could it be that he is here to kill Luo Haoran?Whether he is or not, I want to kill Luo Haoran! Zhou Xuan and I searched separately.I was wandering alone in the dark, thinking of nothing but revenge, even if I killed Luo Hao and immediately committed suicide. Until nine o'clock in the evening, there was no sign of Luo Haoran, including the Labrador named Churchill. When I was tired and thirsty and about to suffocate, I heard a loud noise above my head.I saw Zhou Xuan again, and he rushed up quickly and said, "Hurry up and run to the cinema on the ninth floor!" So, we rushed to the ninth floor together, and sure enough, the shadows of a person and a dog rushed past. Luo Haoran! kill him!Zhou Xuan ran faster than me. I quickly lost track of them in the maze of movie theater exit passages.I shouted in a daze, only to hear the footsteps of other people behind me.Just when I was at a loss, the ceiling above my head fell down and buried me in the ruins. As I was about to suffocate, I heard bursts of intercom—really rescuers! In an instant, many things flashed through my mind.The only thing that is clear is that there are many murder weapons on him, which cannot be discovered by them!So, while I was still able to move one hand, I stuffed all the knives, ropes and poison on my body into the ruins. There is one thing that I am not willing to throw away, and that is my biological mother's work permit. When I was rescued, I went through the ground more than 100 meters deep and came to the ground under the starry sky, only to find that the world was safe and sound!The surrounding buildings were still flickering with lights, and the cameras and flashlights all over the world were aimed at me. I couldn’t help but shed tears—I wasn’t excited because I was saved, but because of the experience of the past seven days and seven nights, because Xiaoguang didn’t get along with me. I saw the starry sky tonight together, for the sake of my forever lost mother in the underground, and for the fact that I killed my best friend with my own hands not long ago. Zhou Xuan was also rescued, and when he saw me, under the bright daylight, before being sent to the ambulance, he made an expression on me, which I understood right away. Luo Haoran is dead!Our revenge has succeeded! In the heavens, the great revenge will be avenged, why not let me die immediately? Yes, at this moment, lying in the isolation ward of the hospital, I am still thinking about this question-what reason should I have to live?The police have found my mom's work ID in my pocket.They knew that Haimi was trapped underground with me, why did I escape alone?Haimei's official father will definitely use all means to find his precious daughter—he will find it sooner or later, her daughter's body, the body whose head was smashed by me with a glass vase. I am a murderer. When police officer Ye Xiao came to ask me yesterday, I made up a lie to lie to him, some kind of window model killed people - I really watched too many horror movies!But, he won't believe me, I can see from his eyes, he has a strong will, no difficulty will make him retreat, he will definitely investigate to the end. Will he check my family background?Even ask my class teacher and my classmates?That's right, isn't he also a graduate of our school?The answer is obvious, all my disguises and secrets will be easily exposed by him-maybe they already know?I became the biggest liar and laughing stock in the history of Siyi Middle School!同学们每天都在嘲笑我，说我一个穷光蛋，扫厕所的外地清洁工的女儿，居然还敢装富家女？ 昨晚，我又一次做了那个可怕的噩梦。 无论检疫结果如何，我都不想出院，宁愿留在这里，做一个囚犯，做一个精神病人，甚至做一个死人！只要，别让我再回学校！ 等一等，这个病房里有没有什么能帮助我的东西？比如剪刀？比如药片？比如……不，我们这些幸存者，都是叶萧警官眼中的犯罪嫌疑人，他不会给我自杀的机会。 小光，你在天上有没有听到？我是多么想你！我只要跟你在一起……在一起……就像玛蒂尔达对里昂说过的——“我只需要爱，或者死。”