Chapter 27 Chapter 25 UACV Headquarters

Anthony looked away from the pictures on the ground, not trying to pick them up, but walking around.Paula wondered if this was an implicit reaction to Dante's accusation.In the days that followed, Paula often felt that she was standing in front of a very polite person who couldn't read at all, a person who was extremely intelligent and very vague.Antony is a moving paradox, an undecipherable symbol.But at this moment, she felt another kind of emotion. She was so confused that she couldn't hide the trembling of her lips. Anthony sat across from Paula, leaning back in the chair to relax his sore back.In his left hand he held a paper bag containing three cups of coffee.He hands Paula a glass.

"Cappuccino?" "I hate cappuccino. It reminds me of a dog I once had whose vomit was this color. But, okay." Paula took a cup of coffee. Anthony didn't speak for several minutes.Paula had to give up pretending to read the document and decided to face him squarely.She has to know. "Then you're not going to..." She stopped. Paula hadn't looked Anthony in the eye since he came in, but she glanced at him now, and he seemed far away.His coffee hand trembled as he brought the cup to his lips.It was cold in the room, but his bald head gleamed with tiny beads of sweat, his green eyes betrayed their owner, and seemed to bear a terrible sight, and, in the windows of his mind, he saw years more previous scene.

Paula was silent. She realized that the photos Anthony walked past with pretending to be calm just now were fake.she waits.It took Anthony a few minutes to recover, and when he spoke, his voice was distant and lifeless. "It's hard for me to say that you think you've let it go and then you have to do it all over again. It's like you're going to push a cork down a sink and you push it down and it jumps to the surface. Then You press it in again." "Perhaps it will do you good to talk." "Listen to me: Talking about the past has never made me any better. Some problems just won't be solved by talking about it."

"It's interesting to say that from a priest. Especially a psychology priest. It's unbelievable. But it's very fitting for a CIA agent. They are trained to kill." Anthony tried not to frown. "They didn't train me to kill. They didn't train other soldiers to do that. They trained me in counterintelligence skills. I was gifted with the ability to spot targets, yes, but I wouldn't do that. Then, to your next question , I haven't killed anyone since 1987. I killed 11 Viet Cong soldiers, that's what I know. But it was in combat." "This is the data you automatically provided."

"Before you judge me, let me tell you my story. I never told anyone, so, I just ask you to listen to it alone. Believe me or not, now I don't want to ask this question, you just listen I say fine." Paula nodded in agreement. "I think your information is obtained from the upper echelons of the Vatican. If it is the report of the Holy See, it will give you a very general record of my history. I started to say in 1971. For some reasons, my father and I got into a relationship. Big fight. I don't want to scare you with the horrible stories in the war, because speaking those words will always pale. Have you seen the movie "Apocalypse Now?"

"I've seen it, I've seen it before. It's a brutal film." "It was all an illusion, like a shadow on a wall, and the movie was trying to tell the truth. I was traumatized and cruel to the victims myself. But there I knew what I was going to do. It wasn't a jump to Thoughts came to my head. In the middle of the night, we hid in the bomb shelter, enemy fire roared overhead. I didn't look back, there was a 10-year-old boy with a necklace around his neck that was a person's ear. But that happened I was in the rear with our regiment's chaplain one calm afternoon, and I knew then that I was going to dedicate my life to God and what he had made. That's what I did."

"What's going on with the CIA?" "Don't jump that far. I don't want to go back to America. My parents are still there. So I just try to run as far as possible. I just run to the edge of the Iron Curtain. I learned a lot there, but some Thing...you're only 34 years old and you don't understand yet. In Germany in the 70's we had to live with the threat of nuclear war on a daily basis and hatred between different organizations was everything from religious to personal. Seems like every day We're all going to get close to someone, it's either them or us, and it gets out of control, and something happens. That's it. Sooner or later, someone's going to hit the fuse."

Anthony paused and took a sip of his coffee.Paula lit a cigarette that Pondello had left behind, and Anthony reached out to get another from the case, but Paula moved the case away. "That's mine. I have to smoke the pack all by myself." "Don't worry, I'm not going to get it, I just want to ask myself, am I going to relapse again?" "It's okay, I care more about your story than whether you smoke or not." Anthony felt the pain at the back of her words, and went on. "Of course, I'd love to continue serving in the military. I love the camaraderie, the discipline, the feel of life in the military. It's actually a lot like a priest's life when you think about it, giving your life to someone else. The military itself isn't A bad thing, war makes it a devil. I asked to be a chaplain in the US Army, because I'm a diocesan priest, so my diocesan bishop and I have a good relationship."

"I don't quite understand what a parish priest is?" "I mean I'm more of a freelance agent. I don't serve a particular church. I can ask my diocesan bishop to assign me a diocesan director if I want to, but if I have a better idea , I can freely serve in the diocese I want, and the bishop of the diocese will agree, just like a formal acquiescence." "Understood." "So, based there, I worked in a lot of departments in different places, and they had counterintelligence program orders against the military, and those activities were not part of the CIA. They invited me to participate, four hours a day, five days a week. The study lasted two years. .It didn't conflict with my missionary work hours, just a few hours less sleep. So I agreed. It turned out that I was a very good student. One night, after class, a teacher took me aside , suggested that I join their team. This is their method of developing internal personnel. I told him that I am a priest and it is impossible to join them. I have a lot of work to do, and many young Catholic priests need me to train. Their Supervisors spend a lot of time every day telling me how to hate Communism. I spend an hour every night reminding them that we are all God's children."

"They certainly don't listen to you." "Always. But a priest's job is for a long-distance runner." "I think I saw that line on Kaloski's profile." "Maybe, we limit ourselves when we take a stand, we limit ourselves when we win. Occasionally we achieve something big, but it's not enough. We plant some seeds and hope some of them will bear fruit, but often they do. People are not the ones who reap, so let us down." "And sometimes it makes you very angry." "Once upon a time there was a king who was walking in the forest and met an old man. The old man was very poor and his back was very bent. The king went to see the old man planting chestnut trees. The king asked the old man why he wanted to plant trees, and the old man replied, "I like chestnuts." The king said: "Old man, don't dig holes in the ground to torture your hunchback. Don't you know that when the trees you planted bear fruit, you are no longer there, so where can you get chestnuts?" ?’ replied the old man: ‘Your Majesty, if my ancestors thought so, I would never have tasted chestnuts!’”

Paula smiled, shocked by the irrefutable truth in this fable. "You know what this story tells us?" Anthony paused and then went on, "You always go forward with good intentions, love God, and enjoy Johnnie Walker." Paula was a little embarrassed. She hadn't imagined that this positive and well-spoken priest would be holding a bottle of whiskey in his hand, but it was clear that Anthony had been lonely for a long time in his life. "When my teacher told me that while some priests could help some young people in the base, there were thousands of young people who couldn't help, I knew he was basically right. If I could help them, those Wouldn’t it be very consistent that a person could serve our country and come to my church at the same time. At that time I really thought that two things could be done at the same time.” "Then what are you thinking now? Because you're back in service again." "I'll come back to that in a minute. They made me a freelance agent, only taking special assignments, which I myself believed to be impartial. I traveled everywhere. Sometimes I dressed up as a priest, sometimes as a private citizen. I met Dangerous many times, but always worth the risk. I help those in need in a variety of ways. Sometimes the help is urgent, like delivering a report or a letter. Other jobs involve building Necessary relationships, or helping people out of trouble. I learned foreign languages, and after a while, I felt I was strong enough to go back to the United States. These were all before the events in Honduras.” "Wait a minute, you skipped an important part, your parents' funeral." Anthony's face was very disturbed. "I don't want to talk about that part, I just signed some procrastinating legal clauses." "Father Fowler, you surprise me. Eight million dollars is more than a letter of the law." "Oh, so you know that too. Well, I said. I gave up the money. But instead of giving it all away, as people think, I used it to start a non-profit foundation, To be used in various areas of social need both here in the United States and abroad. To use the name of Howard Eason, a chaplain who encouraged me in Vietnam." "You're the one who established the Howard Essen Foundation?" Paula's face lit up. "In that case, you're really always around me!" "I didn't set it up, I just pushed and supported it financially. In fact, that was the job of my parents' lawyers. I must say it probably disappointed them." "Okay, now you tell me about Honduras. You can talk for as long as you want." Anthony looked at Paula with a look of curiosity on his face.Her attitude has changed subtly, and now it is very respectful: she is willing to believe everything Anthony says.Paula herself wondered what had changed her attitude. "I don't want to bore you with too many details. You could write a book about what happened in El Aguacate. I'll just tell you the basics. The purpose of the CIA is to help the revolutionaries. My mission is to help those Oppressed Catholics in Sandinista. To guarantee the welfare of the guerrillas and to destabilize the government, they trained a volunteer army of poor Nicaraguans sold to them by an old confederate from the US government weapons, few would suspect that this man would betray, that man was Osama bin Laden. And the commander-in-chief of the revolutionaries fell into the hands of a high school graduate, his name was Benny Sara. He was a fanatic Molecules, you'll see in a minute. During the months of training this army, every time Benny and I walked through the cordon, it was getting more and more dangerous. I went to work out some compromise with them, so that religious people can leave that country, but I found myself with Benny, and each attack got weirder and weirder. He started meeting enemies, and they were all over the place, and if you listened, they seemed to be hiding under rocks." "According to an old psychology article I read a while back, fanatics as leaders quickly lead to a highly paranoid situation." "This incident confirms that every word in the book you read is true. I had an accident, and it took me a long time to realize that it was actually planned. I broke my leg, so I can no longer cross the border. And Guerrilla The team has since been retreating. They are no longer sleeping in the barracks, but in the jungle or camping. At night they seem to be doing 'target practice', but it turns out that they are carrying out the execution. I lay in bed, that day Benny caught a bunch of nuns at night and someone came to tell me. That was a good boy, like a lot of others they pinned their hopes on Benny, but he was braver than the rest. All I know is He told me in the confessional. He knew I wouldn't tell anyone, but he put me in the position to do whatever it took to save those nuns. I did everything I could..." Anthony's face was pale, and he paused for a long time. Instead of looking at Paula, he turned his face out of the window. "...but still no. Now Benny is dead like his young recruits. The whole world knows the rebels captured the helicopter and dumped the nuns in a Sandinista village. To do that, they need to go around three times." "Why would they do that?" "The purpose was clear: 'We're going to kill anyone who is Sandinista-related, whoever he is.'" Paula sat there without saying a word, not recovering from what she had just heard. "You blame yourself, don't you?" "Yes, because I failed to save them. I also failed to take good care of the young children, and they ended up killing each other. I went there with the desire to do good, but I didn't. I just A cog in that monster factory, our country has long been used to it, and it doesn't matter that those we trained, helped, and protected turned against us again." The sun was shining on Anthony's face, but his eyes did not blink, and the squinted eyes became two green slits.He was still staring at the roof. "The first time I saw those cemeteries," continues Anthony, "I remembered hearing those machine guns on tropical nights, and I was shocked. 'Target practice,' and I was getting used to the sounds. But One night, while I was half asleep, I heard someone crying, but I didn't pay attention. I fell asleep. The next day I told myself that I must be hallucinating. If I had asked Base officer, if we investigate Benny more closely, we might save those lives. That's why I left the CIA, and that's why I was recruited to the Holy See." "Father, I don't believe in God anymore. Now I know that when we die, it's all over. A short trip through a worm's rectum, and we return to dust. But if forgiveness is needed, I forgive You. Because you saved at least some of the priests before they devised this trap." Anthony finally smiled. "Thank you, you don't know how much your words mean to me. Even though I've been Catholic for so long, I still grieve, your words mean so much." "But you haven't told me why you came back?" "It's simple. A friend asked me. And I don't want to disappoint him." "So now you come, as God's spy." Anthony smiled. "I guess you could call me that." Paula got up and went to the shelf closest to her. "Father, it's against your code to do this, but, like my mother said, you only live once." She took a thick forensic analysis file from the shelf and handed it to Anthony.Anthony opened the file, and on the first page was a signed inscription: "I hope this gift will keep you in faith. Muriz Pondiro." Holding a bottle, which is half a bottle of whiskey and two small glasses. "It's only nine o'clock in the morning." "Do you want to keep your honour, or do we just wait until sunset? Father? I feel proud to have a drink with the man who established the Howard Essen Foundation. Because that foundation gave me a fellowship that made me You can go to Kundik to study." This time it was Anthony's turn to be surprised.He poured the whiskey into both glasses, pouring out the same amount.He raises his glass. "Why should we toast?" "For those who can no longer be with us." "Well, for those who can no longer be with us." They drank it down.Alcohol passed Paula's throat.Paula never drank, and now she swallowed her nails soaked in ammonia.She knew her stomach was going to be sick all day today, but she thought drinking with this man was worth it.There are some things you just have to do. "Now all we have to do is bring Dante back," Paula said, pointing to the photos. "I asked myself why did he do this, why did he fight against you?" Anthony laughed, and Paula couldn't figure it out. She had never heard such a hearty laugh, which sounded so penetrating and sad. "Don't tell me you really don't know why Dante did this!" "Sorry, I really don't understand." "Miss, for someone as well versed in the reverse engineering of human behavior as you are, you've been acting remarkably injudicious about your current situation. Clearly, Dante is interested in you, and for whatever absurd reason , he believes that I am his rival in love." Paula froze, her mouth opened.She could feel her cheeks turning red, and it wasn't from the whiskey.This is the second time this man has made her shy.She wasn't quite sure how he did it, but she loved it and hoped it would.It's like a child who insists on riding the Ferris wheel even though his stomach is not feeling well. Paula didn't know how to get out of this embarrassing situation when the phone rang, so timely!Paula grabbed the phone, her eyes widening. "I'll be there right away." Anthony looked at her, wondering what was going on. "Come on, in those photos the UACV found, they found the Francisco we were looking for at the Robaya crime scene. Maybe we can find something."

---

Notes: