Chapter 18 Mirage 2

seven The pinewood field is outside the Qiantang Gate in the ancient city of Hangzhou, about two or two miles away from the lakeside.A city river that draws the water of Tiaoxi far away, goes west around the pine wood field, and rides on a flat boat. From here, you can go to Xixi, to stay, to Yuhang and other scenic spots.Before the motorway was opened in the past, this pine field was a very prosperous post station wharf, but now it is declining day by day.To the south of Songmuchang, there is a chessboard plateau with countless green hills rolling up and down. The main ridge in the south is the Baotita Mountain with soaring rocks—Gem Mountain—and to the west are Geling, Qixialing, Xiangu, and Lingyin. All the mountains, wandering around like a dragon, the peaks face west, go directly to the ridge of the northern peak, which is a barrier to the north of the West Lake.Behind the gem mountain, there are countless small hillocks and stone walls.On top of these hills, overlooking the high hills of Geling Baoshi Mountain and overlooking the plains of Songmuchang Gudang, there are many small western-style buildings with exquisite structures scattered there. This is a piece raised by a British missionary teacher. Came to China to operate and build the isolation hospital of Guangji Hospital.

Chen Yiqun was sitting on the rickshaw, the mountain stone pagoda was turned to the north, and the wheels went along the boardwalk. In the middle of the straight rush, a gust of cold wind blew into his mouth and nostrils that were not guarded.The cold wind touched the lung ducts, and he coughed and coughed, his throat itched, and he rolled it with his hand to catch it. In Bai Ren's phlegm, there were indeed a few traces of blood mixed in.This burst of coughing brought tears to his eyes.He glanced at the scroll in a daze, closed his eyes, leaned his body on the back of the rickshaw, and at the same time, the waves were chaotically stirring in his mind.

"This omen is really a bit scary. The snow is white, and the phlegm is reddish. Is it true that I am going to be buried by the side of the West Lake?... Alas, who can die, sooner or later, what does it matter? Related, am I a little husband who is greedy for life and afraid of death!... But, but, death like me. Creation is a bit of a waste. Not only have I not accomplished anything in my career, but even the enjoyment of life. I haven't tasted the true meaning of it yet... Ah, I think back to the enthusiasm and ideals that I set out to join the army, and now when I weigh them at the moment of life and death, they are all nothing but illusory clouds!  … ...This is the way it is. If we want to reform the society and the system, isn't it for the sake of "life"? Isn't it also for the purpose of improving the well-being of ourselves and the public? If "life" does not exist, "revolution" 'How will it be used?...That's all, ah, why do you still think about these things? I still know how to survive, and then I will come to the enjoyment of survival...'

By the time many conflicting and messy thoughts were forming in his mind, his car had already reached the entrance of the Pinewood Pulmonary Hospital at the foot of the mountain; the driver stopped the car, and he opened his eyes. , Looking at the gate, it turned out to be a very elegant gatehouse with winding parapets on both sides.Looking from the latticed door, one floor high seems to be a pile of low hills stretching high and low.In the middle, here and there there are many red, green and gray buildings, reflecting the light snow on the mountain and the translucent sky, nodding and looking down at him.He got out of the car and stood still for a while, taking a look at the surrounding scenery. The peaceful and quiet air had soothed his bewildered mind and made him refreshed and comfortable.He informed the porter of his purpose and asked the coachman to follow behind with a leather suitcase on his back. He and a leader walked slowly up the mountain to ask the attending doctor who lived in this branch hospital about the wards he was dealing with.The attending doctor in this branch hospital was also a young doctor, and when he saw Yiqun, he also expressed considerable respect.In a short time, after finishing all the formalities, he followed a fourteen or fifteen-year-old trainee nurse to a special ward in the middle of the mountain to the west and stayed.

This ward is a Western-style house made of red bricks, and the number of wards inside is not many, but at this time, it seems that because the New Year is approaching, there are no patients living there.So Yiqun settled down in the No. 1 room facing east and south. After the nurse and the attendant left, he felt only a layer of refreshing silence.Lying on the bed alone, he felt as if he could even hear the sound of light snow melting in the lake outside the glass window.Because it was too quiet, he opened his eyes to look at the white walls above his head and all around him, but inadvertently felt a kind of inexplicable terror, as if there were some monsters lurking silently behind these white walls, He was watching his movements there.

Near noon, the attending doctor came to see him once, and after listening to his chest for a while, the doctor comforted him and said: "This disease is not serious, as long as you can rest with peace of mind. The heat is too high today. I can give you an injection when the body heat subsides tomorrow. It is easy to stop the bleeding, but we have to For the sake of fundamental treatment, so you rest in peace and relax your mind first." Not long after the attending doctor came for the consultation, the nurse who had brought him here earlier delivered the medicine.This handsome young nurse seemed to have a good impression of Yiqun. After taking care of Yiqun and taking the medicine, she sat down on a sofa in front of the bed.

"Mr. Chen, do you feel too lonely sleeping on the bed alone?" she said. "Hey, it's very lonely. Do you have any free time? Please come and talk often when you are free, so that you can accompany me." While talking, Yiqun opened his half-closed eyes and stared at the boy.Seeing the young man's red cheeks, ink-like pupils, and smiling narrow eyes, he seemed to have forgotten the bitter taste he was feeling in his mouth after taking the medicine.He thought this cute little face looked very familiar, but he couldn't remember where he had seen it before.Seeing the young man's innocent smile, he was immediately infected by her, and a lonely smile appeared on his face.

"What's your name?" He asked her with a smile. "My name is Zhidao, but they all call me Xiao Li." "Is your surname Li?" "yes." "Then I'll call you Xiao Li, okay?" "Yes, Mr. Chen, do you feel hungry?" "I'm not hungry, but I just took the medicine, and my mouth feels very uncomfortable. I really want a glass of milk." "Okay, I'll ask the nurse to cook it for you." After the young nurse went out, the room was completely occupied by silence again.At this moment, Yiqun didn't feel terrified anymore, because he had something to think about in his mind, which was the question that the young man seemed to have seen somewhere.After thinking about it for a long time, his face turned red and his eyes shimmered with embarrassment, but he remembered the nurse's appearance. It turned out that a friend of his in middle school was the face of Xiao Li. same shape.

Eight In addition to the light snow, there were a few days of fine winter weather. The sun circled the earth a few times, and the air surrounding the pine field was warmed up like a little spring.On the eighth day after entering the hospital, Yiqun completely lost his fever, and the blood streaks in his sputum had stopped. Recently, with the help of a cane, he was able to get out of bed and take a walk on the corridor and outside the house.The monotony of life in the hospital was also comfortable because of getting used to it. An extremely calm state of mind, a state of desolation that he had never felt before, gradually conquered his restlessness, and helped him move towards the sun. Healed up and went up the road quickly, and he himself felt as if he had become a recluse monk.

As soon as he opened his eyes in the morning, there was bright red and clean sunlight waiting for him outside the east window and on the corridor of the front room. When the bell rang, the servant who was guarding him would come in and pour water and tea for him. Slowly walk up the south corridor, walk up and down once or twice, and when your legs are tired, you can sit and lie down in the easy chair in the sun.In front are the high hills of Geling and the stone barrier of Baoshi Mountain; on the Chu balcony, the warm morning sun has been shining at this time, and at the place where the stones are cut behind Baoshi Mountain, there are already early risers working there.In the clear air, there will be the sound of tinkling stone axes, and below the feet in the valley between the mountains of the hospital and Geling Mountain, there may be one or two woodcutters passing by. In addition, there is the silent sky, In the silent day, he sat on the chair and could even hear his own breathing clearly.After a while, the happy and relaxed Xiao Li's footsteps approached from the common door at the back. He had his temperature checked, his medicine changed, and he chatted for a while, and it was time for breakfast.After breakfast, after a walk or two in the cloister, he could lie motionless in that easy chair until noon.After lunch, having checked the temperature and taken the medicine, he went to bed and tried to take a two- or three-hour nap; when he woke up from the nap, the sun was already slanting to the west, and the scenery of the mountains in front and back changed again. You can walk out of the ward with a stick and take a small step up the mountain road inside the hospital boundary; if you feel weak, you can still sit down on the easy chair and slowly watch the red sun set like a copper plate.After dinner, sitting in the gray air on the corridor, looking at the lights of the houses in the town of Pinewood to the east, and counting the twinkling stars in the sky, one or two hours can be very leisurely and happy. I went to bed before eight o'clock.

This is the repeated life that Yiqun lives in the hospital every day.Because the external way of life is so monotonous and stereotyped, all his attention to dealing with and observing the outside world is turned to the inside.In the warm and windy afternoon, in the clear and quiet noon, buried in the easy chair on the corridor, he was tired of looking at the mountain scenery, and always wanted to get to the bottom of the dissection of the meaning of his past life. "My life is really a meaningless tragedy, and the occurrence of this tragedy can only be said to be an evil play created by the times. After all, I am a deformed child of a deformed era. Corrosion from the harsh environment, those are even more unacceptable. The first thing that is wrong is that while being a Chinese, you have received some incomplete European education at the end of the century. Putting new wine into old skins, the result is old and new The two end up together. The thinker at the end of the century said:——You must first discover yourself. After you discover yourself, you should faithfully hold on to this self, expand it thoroughly, and expand it. If the environment wants to hinder you, You should go straight forward and fight him to the death, AllowNothing! (English: It’s better to be broken than broken.——Editor’s Note) Can’t be proper, can’t be vague, this is a human life.——But when the time comes In this Chinese society, you, the only self-discoverer, have to run into walls everywhere. If you really have the courage, if you really have more perseverance than Napoleon, then maybe a hero can really make the current situation, but for those who have suffered The 3,000-year-old traditional ethics, the Chinese who abide by the cunning philosophy of the mean passed down by Yao, Shun, Yu, Tang, Wen, Wu, Zhou, Gong, and Confucius, are afraid that ten or twenty Napoleons will be able to speak together. I finally found a self-righteous I am my own self, and I have finally expanded this self-assertion, and I can also be regarded as rushing forward and fighting obstacles to the death, but what is the result?... probably in this sunlight This half-day meditation here?...Ah, emptiness, emptiness, emptiness, everything in life is emptiness after all!" After thinking about it, and thinking of the final conclusion, he felt that nothingness was the most reliable.Especially the morning before yesterday, when he was sitting on the corridor enjoying the sun, he saw two or three people from the third-class ward in the east carry out a human body covered with a quilt, and walked towards the firewood room at the foot of the mountain. A shed-like hut; after lunch, Xiao Li came to take his temperature and pulse, and said to him inadvertently: "Another patient is dead (English: dead.——editor's note), and he still ate two bowls of rice last night!" This sentence is not important to Xiao Li at all, and the joke that he uttered while talking and laughing, actually confirmed the verdict he made every time. "Oh, empty, empty, empty, everything in life is empty after all!" This afternoon, he was sitting in the corridor, just as he was thinking of this conclusion just like every time, when he suddenly heard Xiao Li shouting from the back door: "Mr. Mei is here!" Then she hurried into Yiqun's ward, and quickly tidied up his room.It turned out that Mr. Mei was the master of Guangji Hospital, he lived in the city, and every afternoon when the weather was fine, he would go to this branch hospital by car to see his patients. Not long after, an old man with white beard and hair came to Yiqun's ward.The old man is also a lucky man born by chance and time. He has spent half his life in missionary and medical practice. Now he has built his ideal kingdom in this semi-civilized Zhejiang Province. He is very stable and happy. He is spending the rest of his twilight years.As soon as he entered the room, he smiled and asked Yiqun: "Mr. Chen, how are you? How do you feel today?" Yiqun thanked him for his kindness, then stood up and walked into the sitting room to invite him to sit.On the desk, he saw a few red sheepskin-bound foreign books that Yiqun was reading in his spare time, and asked Yiqun as if he had discovered a miracle: "Mr. Chen, have you ever been to a foreign country?" "Hey, I lived in Oaksford for five years, and then I traveled in southern Europe for two years." After hearing Yiqun's academic qualifications, he immediately changed his attitude like a child in a barbaric land, and sat down on the sofa with his straight, five-foot-high body.After inquiring about Yiqun's life experience and work experience after returning to China, and talking about the very ordinary leisure time in recuperating from illness, he stood up and said goodbye with satisfaction.Before leaving, he held Yiqun's hand, and he invited him modestly and said: "In front of Geling Mountain, I also have a few houses built there. When I am free, I will come and invite you to have tea. If you continue like this, it won't take long for your body to fully recover. , let us prepare the congratulatory meeting when you leave the hospital!" As he spoke, he looked back at the attending doctor who was waiting for him standing in the corridor, and the three of them laughed together for a while. Since Yiqun was interviewed by the head of the hospital, his experience has spread throughout the isolation hospital on the mountain in this area. Everyone knows that Mr. Chen is a son of Beiyang Daotai. He has been to foreign countries, worked as a teacher in a university hall, and served as an official.As a result, the number of trainee nurses who lived in several isolation wards on the mountain took English reading and writing books to ask for advice, and gradually increased; listening to their talk, Yiqun was very impressed with the situation in this hospital. The inside story also became familiar day by day. Nine Among the inside information about this hospital, the one that aroused Yiqun's interest the most was the establishment of Qingqi Hospital, the women's lung disease sanatorium on the top of the mountain.Qingqiyuan is the highest place and has the widest view. Although it faces south, from the east and west corridors and the windows on the second floor, you can see the blurred fireworks in the half city of Hangzhou, and the Songmuchang. All the houses, and the thousands of acres of wilderness lying between the pine field and the ancient dang; Qinting Mountain is a line across the sky, from there, it is closer, and the white wall of the Temple of the Holy Emperor on the top of the mountain is like When exposed to the influence of the rising sun, it really looks like an ancient Western painting.This Qingqi Courtyard with such a beautiful scenery was completely donated by a female philanthropist in Hangzhou. According to them, she spent at least ten thousand taels of silver to build this Qingqi Courtyard . One afternoon, the atmosphere was still so sunny, Yiqun woke up from a nap, and wanted to go up to the top of the mountain and go to the Qingqi courtyard to see the scenery of the wilderness in the north. When he came, the two of them walked out of the ward slowly and walked up the winding path that slanted to the top of the mountain.The sun has already slanted to the west and forms an acute angle with the ground, and smoke is already rising from several places on the roof tiles of the houses in the pine yard.The two stood in an empty pavilion for a while, saw some villagers walking on the wild road behind the mountain and many clean dry fields lying in the distance, then walked into a side road and walked towards Qingqi. In front of the courtyard.As soon as she arrived at the gate of Qingqi Hospital, Xiao Li quickly pulled out her hand pinched by Yiqun, stepped up the steps of the women's ward, and walked into the room surrounded by many young women. There's that downstairs hall.Yiqun stood on the road halfway, looked at the center of the group of women, and was also unknowingly stunned.Standing near the table among these women, holding a lot of clothes, canned food and so on, the heroine who was distributing to everyone turned out to be the missing person he had seen in Xiling Yinshe that day. young woman in black.She seems to be particularly fond of black, and she is still wearing a long black velvet gown today. Xiao Li squeezed in from the crowd, bowed respectfully to her, and greeted a middle-aged and elderly head nurse, and seemed to say a few words very lightly, He turned his gaze away, turned his head and glanced at Yiqun standing outside in the shadow of the setting sun.The young woman in black also cast her eyes outside together with Xiao Li. At the same time, many women standing around turned their heads and looked at Yiqun. He couldn't help feeling shy for a moment. coming.In an instant, his pale face flushed red.When he was in a dilemma and wanted to walk away, the young woman took Xiao Li's hand and walked out to the corridor outside the hall. She nodded with a smile and said: "Is it Mr. Chen? I've heard Mr. Mei mention it. I'll come to see you later. I lived in that ward before." At a loss, Yiqun only felt that he had heard a piece of extremely soft and harmonious music, his head was dizzy, his ears were burning hot, what exactly did she say, and what exactly did he answer to her, etc. , I can’t remember everything, I fell down and fell down. When a person walked slowly back to the ward from the path, all he saw was a pair of shiny black eyes that shone with cold light and were as shiny as patent leather. The trace that comes out of this eye is like a ripple like water.Not long after he walked in a daze like this alone, Xiao Li ran after him again.Xiao Li's complexion also flushed red from excitement, holding Yiqun's hand while walking, she uttered a lot of words like a torrent. "She is the philanthropist Mrs. Kang! Every winter during the Chinese New Year, she always comes to give alms, not only to the poor patients of men, women, old and children, but also to us. Her family is rich, There are more than a dozen banks in Hangzhou, Shanghai. Didn’t I tell you that Qingqi Hospital was built by her alone, and her family suffered from lung disease, so the house you live in is the one you live in now. That room, so she is very sympathetic to those with lung diseases, and she is very willing to help. Every year, the money she donates for medicine and the things she distributes here may cost thousands of dollars a year. Mile. On Geling Mountain, she still asked where the very good Zhuangzi was. Mr. Chen, when will I go up with you to play? Go out through the back door here, and it is very close to go up through Qixia Ridge. She said that she still wants to go up. You are here to see you. Let's go back and tidy up the room, and ask the next man to make tea and wait. Mr. Chen, let's go, go, go back!" Being urged by her, Yiqun naturally quickened his pace.Back in the ward, he tidied up the messy things, asked the next man to prepare some tea, and he sat down on the sofa, chewing on the deeds of the first meeting with her that day.Xiao Li saw Yiqun's silent appearance, and saw his dull and pensive look, but felt a little strange, so he suppressed his excitement and asked him calmly: "Mr. Chen, what are you thinking there again? I'm afraid she's coming soon!" Yi Qun smiled slightly when he heard the child's tone that seemed to be blaming him.Glancing at Xiao Li, he asked her a little shyly: "Xiao Li, do you know what this Mrs. Kang's man does?" "Speaking of the three words Kang Chengyu, who in Hangzhou doesn't know that he is a bank boss!" "Did you see him pass?" "How could I not have seen it?" "How old is he?" "Then I don't know." "Do you have a beard?" "There are a few on the mouth, but not many." "Is it wearing foreign clothes?" "Sometimes he wears it too, especially when he comes back from Shanghai." "Well, then I've seen him too." "Hey, how did you see him?" "I met him on the West Lake." The two sat on the sofa and talked like this for a long time, but Mrs. Kang never came.Xiao Li became impatient after waiting, so he stood up and jumped out, saying that he planned to go to the leprosy hospital and the infirmary to find out where she had gone. ten There are a total of 10 to 20 houses in the Guangji Branch of Songmuchang.The entrance at the foot of the mountain is a small gatehouse. Going up the mountain to the north, facing southeast is a building of a leprosy house and chapel.Going west along the path is the boarding house for the attending physicians and nurses.Further to the west is a gray bungalow, which is an isolation ward for patients with scarlet fever and tiger thorn.Zhibei is the kitchen, and the boarding place for the men under the care.Further to the southwest, there is a third-class ward where ordinary men with lung diseases live.On the mountainside to the west and north, there is a small red brick building facing south, which was the special ward where Chen Yiqun recuperated at that time.Zaixi is a villa-style house with exquisite construction and spaciousness. It is the place where Dean Mei used to rest when he came to the pine yard.In addition, there are several small buildings interspersed among these houses.Going straight up from the west, the highest floor on the top of the mountain is the Qingqi Hospital built for female lung patients.The whole mountain covers an area of ​​more than 200 mu, surrounded by a low parapet wall, like a small republic isolated from the outside world. Yiqun was alone in the sitting room of the mountainside ward, waiting for Mr. Kang to come. It had been a long time. After Xiao Li walked out, he felt that the time had passed, and he became a little impatient. At the same time, Xiao Li's light feet jumped into the door from behind.Before reaching the door of Yiqun's ward, she held a silver watch in her right hand and shouted: "Mr. Chen, look, look, Mrs. Kang gave it to me!" She blushed with a smile, gasping for breath, walked to Yiqun's side, and took out another business card with her left hand.On the business card is printed a line of Kang Ye Qiuxin's small Song characters, and on the back of the business card, it is slenderly written with a fountain pen: "Because I still have to go to the leprosy hospital to deliver things, I'm afraid it's too late, so I can't come to visit. Tomorrow at 3 o'clock in the afternoon, I invite you and Xiao Li to come to the dormitory for tea, and we can talk about the feelings of the illness in detail. " After Xiao Li handed the business card to Yiqun, his face was full of laughter, and he was still playing with the watch.When Yiqun asked her if Mrs. Kang had anything else to say, she raised her head and said to Yiqun: "Mrs. Kang invited you to drink tea tomorrow, and taught me to go with you. She has already asked the attending doctor for leave for me. She said that because she has to go to the leprosy hospital today, she might not be able to come." "Rentai Kang's house, do you like to go?" "Why don't you like it? It's a beautiful place, there's a lot to eat, and there's a phonograph." Then you have to go tomorrow, but I am a little scared, afraid of walking too much. " "Afraid of walking too much? It's very short to go out from the back door, and the road is easy to walk. The well is not a mountain road. Mrs. Kang is waiting for you tomorrow, so you can't do it if you don't go." "Okay, let's talk about it tomorrow." At this time, the sun had already disappeared on the west side of Qingqiyuan, and the sky was only filled with the red glow of the sun. The evening wind was cool and cold, blowing on Yiqun's flushed cheeks with excitement, and the scene in the ward was also gray. Depressed up.Hearing that Yiqun stopped talking, Xiao Li suddenly raised her head and looked around. She also felt that it was getting late, so she re-booked the promise that she must go back tomorrow, and then she pulled up her feet again, gently and quickly jumped out. Yiqun who was left in the solitude and twilight, Yiqun who was alone in the ward surrounded by silence, listened quietly to the sound of Xiao Li's footsteps faintly going away, and disappeared, the first moment He suddenly felt an impulse in his heart, and wanted to rush out immediately to visit the leprosy hospital with Xiao Li, but it was getting late, and even if he got old and shameless and went to the leprosy hospital, she might not be there. over there.Besides, there is Ming Chao's date. Couldn't Ming Chao come to her comfortably and approach her to talk and laugh with her?However, until noon in the Ming Dynasty, there was still a long night and a long morning in between. How will the twenty-odd hours pass?Ahh, those deep and bottomless eyes, those pupils full of water!You, a black-clothed female figure who can't find a place to go through iron shoes, would break into this dry and secret hospital like a monastery by accident today. I really can't think of it.Sitting alone on the dark sofa, thinking about this, thinking about there, thinking about it like this, he is dreaming with his eyes open like a fever patient, and the door is approaching silently. He forgot about the coming night, the gradually fading emptiness in the sky layer by layer, and the slow-moving motions in the surrounding mountains and fields, until the two southeast-facing glass windows revealed Only when the bright starlight and distant lights projected in did he feel the real world around him and opened his eyes in the darkness.As if he still lingered a little after waking up from a good dream, after he woke up in the dark, he still sat still, not wanting to turn on the electric light to disperse his dream.It wasn't long before I immersed myself in this soft and sweet memory that matched the surrounding quiet night, when the door at the back slammed "ah", but there were a few clumsy footsteps on the corridor. "Mr. Chen, Mr. Chen, why haven't you turned on the lights yet?" Walking into his ward at the same time as these words were said was the man under the care who brought the dinner.Another day of monotony and peace passed in this other world of the Guangji Branch of Songmuchang. eleven The dawn of dawn on December 24th broke out in the depression of Songmuchang.The empty eastern sky, where it meets the bay, is pregnant with a mass of ocher.The breeze couldn't stop, and the milky haze that filled the ground settled down slowly, slowly.As soon as the atmosphere cleared up, the dark sky revealed the shy expression on Qingdong's unique face after finishing morning clothes.The bottomless deep blue black eyebrows, the red myrtle halo after the rouge bath, and a few wisps of vermicelli clouds that are as thin as cicada wings. Looking for hatred and sorrow, Chen Yiqun, who tossed and turned on the one-foot-thick steel wire cushion in the middle of the night, also woke up from the chaotic dream of anticipation and anxiety.As soon as he opened his eyes, he felt the pleasure that a sunny morning gives us.He raised his head to look at the whitewashed four walls for a week, and from the cracks in the curtains of the glass window at the head of the bed, he took a glimpse of the soon-to-be-clear smoke scene outside. Remembered the memories from last night. ——The black-clothed goddess who came across unexpectedly, she walked out of the corridor with a smile to greet him, her voice was soft and harmonious like music, his own embarrassment Feeling ashamed as a primary school student, the anxiety during the few quarters of an hour waiting for her visit in the twilight ward, the disappointment and heartfelt sadness after hearing that she was not coming, and then again. It was the sleeplessness in the middle of the night and all kinds of bizarre fantasies arising from the insomnia—these many memories from last night quickly and quickly reappeared in his newly awakened mind like scenes from a movie. A room was rehearsed.Because the plots before and after this were too unpredictable, and his own emotions fluctuated.The waves were really too big, so in retrospect, he almost believed that he was still dreaming there, and all of this was just the joys and sorrows in the dream.However, he reached out and touched the edge of the pillow.A small rectangular piece of cool shade touched his finger, and when he picked it up to look, the four Song characters of Kang Ye Qiuxin were still dark on the front, and there were still a few lines of delicate lines on the back that asked him to meet this afternoon. Rumors about going to tea. "It's okay, it's okay, this black-clothed goddess is not just a dreamy epiphyllum!" As soon as he thought about it in this way, his energy was revived, he stretched his limbs, and jumped up again, his slender body after illness stood up from the eiderdown quilt to the middle of the ward.He rang the bell to call the attendant man, changed his clothes, and hastily washed himself. He picked up the white rattan cane standing in the corner of the room, and walked briskly from the ward to the corridor, and from the corridor to the staring sky. underneath. At this time, the sun has risen; the thin morning frost has already turned into thousands of water droplets, making the dirt road in the mountain moist and soft.The sharp cold air with a bit of acrid taste stimulated his exposed face and hands, causing a proper tightening feeling on the skin; a cool cool air flowed straight from the top of his forehead, penetrated his whole body.He gradually walked up the mountain from the lower mountain path, and the area illuminated by the rising sun gradually expanded around him, and his whole mind felt that he was gradually calming down step by step.Arriving at a thatched pavilion standing on a small peak, he stood there and looked at the wilderness to the north behind the mountain for a few minutes. His thoughts, which had been disturbed by love, lust and worries all night, seemed quite natural. The earth has been transformed into the wonderland of Bodhi, where there is nothing. His desires, his ego, are all swallowed up by this fresh and pure pastoral scene. Facing the selfless embrace of nature, his shoulders were covered with the healthy sunshine at the beginning of the journey. After taking a few deep breaths, his calm mind recovered for a while, but it made him achieve a purely objective critical attitude towards oneself In terms of my own experience, the ups and downs, the ups and downs, the joys and sorrows, have indeed gone through a lot.That is to say, let’s talk about the experience of women, regardless of the far ones, let’s just talk about the near ones. During the few years of wandering in Beijing after returning to China, apart from Yi grandson, new and old, married and unmarried, I don't know how many beautiful, intelligent, noble and gentle women I have come into contact with. .But I have never lost my mind and completely forgotten myself. Why this time, this time when I met this indifferent woman on the wrong road, so many fantasies would arise?Could it be the result of his own illness?However, according to the doctor in charge, he will be able to fully recover and be discharged from the hospital in a short time.Could it be that Kang Yeqiu's wealth is tempting him?But my father's grandfather's inheritance has not been exhausted, although I am called a very rich man, I can still support myself for more than a lifetime; and all my upbringing will never make my heart fall to this point.So maybe it's her beauty, maybe it's the beauty of her body that provokes and seduces me?However, the beauty of Mrs. Kang is not the kind of temptress-like beauty who plays with men and seduces the sensuality. Besides, I have experienced this level of beauty and feel very sure. Criticizing and analyzing his own psychology, when he got here, he suddenly remembered a romantic history on the way back from Europe.Unconsciously, he raised his eyes to look at the pastoral scenery near and far. His memories of this Episode (English: Interlude.——Editor’s Note) especially felt vivid and vivid, because the background at that time was The hot summer nights in the warm and colorful Mediterranean Sea, but the scenery in front of you is the sunny winter in the peaceful and quiet motherland. twelve Just as the French regular ship was about to arrive at Port Said (English: Port Said—Editor’s Note) at the mouth of the Suez River, on the way back to China, Chen Yiqun and many other passengers met the French Revolution commemorative party on board. One day the fourth of September.Since the departure from Marseilles, I greeted the American girl who was on the same boat as I knew, and treated Yiqun with an attitude and expression, as if no one else was there, as if she had been familiar with her since she was a child.Sometimes Chen Yiqun, who was educated in a conservative and gentlemanly manner in England, had to deliberately find out the truth to avoid her bold attacks. Her parents were originally Jewish immigrants from northern Germany. When they moved with their grandfather to the upper reaches of the Mississippi River for cultivation fifty or sixty years ago, that piece of fertile land in North America was still densely forested and sparsely populated. It is an inconceivably remote place, but now it is different. The water and land transportation, the sharp weapon of civilization, the beauty of the city, and the construction of the countryside, all boast of its wealth everywhere.因而贝葛曼（Bergman）的一家，也就成了米西根地方的豪富。然而巨富之家，族种不繁，似乎是天公裁断定的制度，是以由贝葛曼两代的辛苦经营而积下来的几千万财产，只有这一个今年才二十一岁的如花少女冶妮（Jenne）来继承相续。雄心勃勃的她的父亲爱杜华（Edward）.贝葛曼自己，近年来也感到了老之将至了，将所有的事业都交给了可托的管理人后，他自己就带了妻儿，走上了世界漫游的旅途。他们三人的这一回的和陈逸群的同船，原是因为已经看厌了欧洲各大都会的颓废文明的结果，想上埃及内部，非洲蛮地去寻点新奇，冒点小险的。 冶妮·贝葛曼，今年二十一岁了。不长不短的她的肥艳的身上，处处都密生着由野外运动与自由教育而得来的结实的肌肉。长圆形的面部，红白相间到恰好的地步，而使她的处女美尤其发挥到极致的，却是那一双眼神蓝得像海洋似的大眼，与两条线纹弯曲得很的红润的樱唇。本来就把全身的曲线透露得无微不至的欧罗巴的女装，更因为是炎夏半裸的单衣的缘故，她穿在身上的服饰，简直可以把她的肉色都映照得出来。而更是风情别样，不得不教人恼杀的，是在她那顶银丝夏帽下偷逃出来的几圈条顿民族所特有的，金发的丝儿，因为当她举起手来整发的时候，在嫩红的腋下与肉乳的峰旁，时时可以看得出来的，也就是与此同样的几缕浅软的金毛。 大约是因为从小就生长在富庶的环境里的结果吧，到了这一个年龄，按理也应该是稍知稼穑，博通世故的时候了，可是她却还同在大学学窗下的女青年一样，除了寻欢作乐，学媚趋时而外，仿佛是社会的礼义，世间的生活，和她都绝不相干的样子。 在微风邀醉的餐室外面的回廊阴处，举起两手枕抱了头，深深地斜躺上安乐的摇椅，朦胧地远视着地中海里的白日青大，大约映写到她的脑里来的风物人群，总还是那些由好莱坞特的明星等所模制出来的东方众香之国，和又年青又勇敢，又多情又美貌的印度皇子，或老大帝国的最富华最伟大的贝勒与亲土。所以也曾饱受过欧洲近代的教育，面貌也并不十分丑陋，行动举上却又非常娴雅的陈逸群的出现，大约是正适合了她的妖幻的梦境，满足了她的浪漫的嗜好。故而自从马赛出发以来，短短的几日地中海里的行程，竟成了她的演习幻梦里的操练的疆场，而生来就有点胆怯，体格也不十分强健的陈逸群，倒变作了文卫囿内，在被追逐的小兔糜鹿了。 太阳在船尾西北的地中海里沉没了下去，深蓝的海面和浅碧的天空，同时都烘染上了一层银红的彩色。从东南面吹上船来的微风阵阵，暗暗地都带着些海水的辛咸，和热带地方特有的那一种莫名其妙的浓香酽味，船上的九月四日，又这样的慢慢地晚了。 这一天，冶妮从点心时候起，就拖住了逸群不肯放他走开，直到两人在船栏边看完了落日，她的曝露在外面的臂上胸上微有点感到了凉意，船上头庆祝法国革命纪念的夜宴将就开始的时候，她和他坚约定了今晚的跳舞，眼角唇边满含着了招引他来吮吸的微笑，低徊踌躇，又紧握了一回长时不放的手，才匆匆地分头别去，各回到了自己的舱室里上梳洗更衣，预备赴宴。 在灯光灿烂，肉色衣香交混着的聚餐室里，冶妮当然是坐在逸群的上手，于欢呼健啖之余，她们俩也不晓得干尽了几多杯的葡萄香槟。冷红茶，米果，冰麒麟过后，就是小息的时间了，休息一二十分钟之后，跳舞的音乐马上就要开始的。 当小息的中间，逸群也因为多喝了几杯酒的原因，被冶妮的眼角一挑，竟不由自主，大着胆跟她走出了众人还在狂欢大笑的聚餐兼跳舞的厅室，到了清凉洁白的一处离餐室稍远的前甲板的回廊角里。 是旧历的初八九的晚上的样子，半弓将满的新月，正悬挂在船楼西南面的黝苍的天际。轮机仍在继续着前行，不断的海风摇拂在他们的微红的脸上，穿巴黎最新式的、上半身差不多是全裸的夜会服的冶妮，走在他的前面，肩上背上满受了月光的斜照，由他的醉眼看去，她的整个的身体，竟变作了凡尔赛由皇宫园里的白石的人儿。他慢慢地走着看着，到后来终于立住了脚，不再前进了，在他的心里真恨不得把这一个在前面蠕动，正满含着烂熟的青春的肉体，生生地吞下肚去。冶妮似乎也自觉到了她在月光下的自己的裸体的魔力了，回头来向他微微地一笑又很妖媚地点了点头。这一刹那贯流在逸群的血脉里的冷静的血液都被她煽热了，同醉汉似地踉跄向前冲了几步，当他还没有立定的时候，一个柔软得同无骨动物似的微温的肉体就倒进了他的怀里。冶妮向后一靠。她的肥突的后部便紧贴上了他的腹下，一阵浓亵得难耐的奥虎（上内下比）贡特制的香味红蒙地喷进了他的鼻孔，麻醉了他的神志。注目向自己的鼻下一看，他只看见了一张密闭着眼睛，嘴唇抽动，向后倒粘在他颊下的冶妮的脸。 “冶——妮——……我的可爱——的冶——妮——……” 紧抱住了她的腰部。这样很细很细地拖长叫了一声，他就觉得两条微带着酒气的，同火也似地热烈的嘴唇往上一耸竟吸上他的嘴边来了。 在月光底下，在海浪高头，保住了这样的一个姿势，吸着吻着，他们俩不晓得蹰立了多少时候，忽而朦胧地幽远地orchestra （英文：管弦乐队。——编者注）的乐音就波渡过来了。治妮突然狠命地钩舌吸了他一口，旋转了身子，捏住子他的右手，张大了眼盯视住他的两眼，就开始移动了起来，逸群也便顺势对抱住了她的腰围和她半走半跳地走回到了跳舞的厅里。 这一晚的酣歌醉舞，一直闹到了午前两三点钟的样子。贝葛曼老夫妇早已回到了自己的舱室里去睡了，而冶妮当跳到了舞兴阑珊的夜半，又引诱着逸群出来，重到了月落星繁，人影全空的那一角回栏的曲处。她献尽了万种的媚态，一定要逸群于明朝但和她们一道，同在PortSaid上陆，也和她们同上埃及内部去旅行。她一定要逸群答应她永远地和她在一处作她的伴侣。但这时候，逸群的酒意，也已经有七八分醒了，当他靠贴住冶妮的呼吸起伏得很急的胸腰，在听取她娓娓地劝诱他降伏的细语的中间，终于想起了千创百孔，还终不能和欧美列强处于对等地位的祖国；他又想起了亨利·詹姆斯也曾经描写过的那一种最喜玩弄男子，而行为性格却完全不能捉摸的美国的妇人型。 第二天船到了埠头，他虽则也曾送她们上了岸，和她们一起在岸上的大旅馆里吃了一次丰盛的大晚餐，两人之间可终没有突破那最后的一道防线。晚餐之后，她和他同来到了埠头月下，重送她上船去的时候，虽则也各感到了一重隐隐的伤感，虽则也曾交换了几次热烈的拥抱与深吻，但到后来却也终只坚约了后会，高尚纯洁地在岸边各分了手。 （原载一九三一年三月至五月《青年界》第一卷第一期至第三期）