Chapter 4 past

There was a cool wind in the air, and the leaves flew down like hailstones. Although it was in a small port city in the south, it was like a night that could make people feel the sadness of winter night. She and I were in the sea near the sea. Dinner on a high floor. This morning, the weather was fine, and at noon, I could only wear a jacket.But at three or four o'clock in the afternoon, suddenly a few gray stratus clouds flew in from the north, covering the sun, and then the wind started to blow. At this time, for the sake of recuperating from respiratory diseases, I only lived in various ports and cities in the south.In mid-October, went south from the north, and arrived in the city of C province in early November;

Coincidentally, there was a coup d'état in province C, there was a war on the east road, and the provincial capital was unstable, so I moved to Hong Kong to live for a few days.Later, because the cost of living in Port H was too high, he took a steamer and went all the way to Port M. Speaking of Port M, as everyone knows, it is one of the first places where the Chinese allowed foreigners to come to the market. Therefore, the buildings in this port city still have some characteristics of the times at that time, and there is a bit of medieval heritage. meaning.There are green bays on the left and right in front, and there is also a small hill in the port city. In the thoroughfare along the three sides of the sea, there are many bungalows with very gloomy colors.Business is not as prosperous as it used to be, but there are many rich houses and casinos, so there are gardens and villas everywhere.On the street along the port, there are two rows of large banyan trees.Resting on the benches under the banyan tree, no matter Chinese or foreign, they all have a comfortable attitude.Because of the sluggish business, these exiles from southern Europe, who live here, do not have the nervous and violent look of the colonial businessmen.A sense of decay, a sense of beauty that allows people to live in peace and sink unconsciously, can be felt in any corner of this port city.Not long after I arrived in this port, I secretly decided in my heart, "I won't move anymore, and I will live here in the future."Unexpectedly, he could not live for a few days, but he happened to meet her again.

It was really an unexpected adventure. One day when the sun was drizzling and drizzling, I walked down from a small hotel on the hill to the west and wanted to go to the city to have dinner.When passing P Street with few pedestrians, a woman came out slowly from the shed door of a small bungalow facing the street.She was wearing a gray raincoat with an umbrella over it so I couldn't see her face.It was probably inside the shed door, and she had already seen me—because I didn’t carry an umbrella that day—so I walked a few steps ahead of her, and she suddenly asked me: "Is the person walking ahead Mr. Li? Mr. Li Baishi!"

As soon as I heard her voice calling me, I seemed to be very familiar with it, but I couldn't remember which one it was. I hurriedly turned around as if I had been touched by electricity, and only saw a black umbrella against the background. A small gray face.It was already dark, and I couldn't see the whole structure of her face clearly; but her big eyes shone fiercely, and from nowhere, a kind of electricity like a gust of cold wind blew her away. My spirits shook a bit. "You...?" I asked her hesitantly. "Maybe I can't recognize it clearly! Mr. Li still remembers the New Year in Shanghai Mindeli?"

"Oh! Oh! Are you the third child? How did you come here? How strange! How strange!" In the middle of speaking, I turned around unknowingly and took a step forward, and reached out to hold her left hand with a light leather glove. "Where have you been? When have you been here?" she asked. "I'm going to the city to have dinner. I've been here for a few days. What about you? Where are you going?" When I asked her, she couldn't answer for a while, and she just pointed her mouth forward. I remembered her strange temper when I was in Shanghai, so I stopped asking, and moved forward slowly with her. walk slowly.The two walked side by side in silence for a few minutes before she quietly told me:

"I went to play cards at a friend's house last time. I really didn't expect to meet you here. Mr. Li, the separation of these two or three years has made your appearance very old. What do you think of me? I am completely Has it changed?" "You're fine, ah, third child, I'm scared, I'm so pitiful, for the past two or three years..." "I also know a little about you in the past two or three years. Sometimes, I saw your whereabouts once or twice in the newspaper. But Mr. Li, how did you come here? This is really strange .” "And you? Why did you come here?"

"The previous life was destined to be a person who suffered hardships. For example, a water plant floats around and never grows roots. I came here. It is strange to say that it is strange, but it should be right. Mr. Li, who lives upstairs in Minderi Do you remember that fat man?" "Well,...is it that Nanyang businessman?" "Ha, you have a really good memory!" "How is he now?" "He came here with me!" "Oh! That's strange, too." "There are even stranger things!" "what?" "He is dead!" "This... so, you are only left alone now?"

"Isn't it!" "Ugh!" The two walked in silence for a while, and reached the three-fork intersection not far from Dashi Street.She asked me where I lived and planned to see me tomorrow afternoon.I said I would still visit her, but she hurriedly warned me: "That can't be done, that can't be done, you can't come to me." After leaving P Street, there are already many lights on the street, and the pedestrians are also crowded, so the two of them did not have the opportunity to shake hands or smile.When it was time to say goodbye, she only nodded slightly, and ran into a long street to the south.

After being provoked by this adventure, my heart, which was as stable as a still lake in the mountains, began to ripple again.In retrospect, it was already three years ago. At that time, she was not yet twenty years old, and she lived in a bungalow opposite the door where I was staying in Mindel, Shanghai.In this bungalow, apart from three or four young women from her family, there was also a family of overseas Chinese living on the second floor.At that time, I didn't know who was the landlord and who was the tenant, let alone how the livelihood of the few sisters was maintained.There was only one time, after I met their second child, about two months later, I was playing cards in their wing room, and suddenly a middle-aged and old gentleman in very rich clothes came, and they introduced me, saying this This is their eldest brother-in-law.When the eldest saw him coming, he really abandoned us and went to the opposite wing to chat with him, so the fourth sat down and took her place.According to them, they are all from Jiangxi, but the hometown of the eldest brother-in-law is Hubei.He and their eldest sister got married when he was the president of Jiujiang.

I had just come from the country and was working as an editor in a newspaper.The house in Mindeli is the residence of Chen Jun, a friend of the general manager of the newspaper.At that time, because I was not familiar with the situation in Shanghai, I couldn't rent another house to live in, so I stayed at Chen Jun's house.The Chen family lives opposite to them, and we often communicate with each other, so I accidentally got to know the liveliest second child among them. A member of the Chen family said: "Their eldest seems to be the younger brother of that bank manager. The living expenses of their family of four and the tuition of one of their younger brothers are all borne by the bank manager."

They have four sisters, all of whom are beautiful, especially the lively and lovely second child.Probably because of their beautiful birth, from the second child down, they have three sisters, all of whom have reached the age of marriage, but they still can't find a suitable spouse. While thinking about these past events, I have already reached the center of the long street, the doorway of the busiest department store.In this drizzle at dusk, the number of pedestrians on this section of the street has not decreased.The lights of the shops on both sides are shining brightly, reflecting some lonely feelings of being away from people.Go east to the end of this street, turn south, and there is a big restaurant named Wanghai standing on the right hand.There are many small rooms on the three or four floors of this house. When you open the window, you can see the sails in the sea. This is the tavern I have visited the most since I arrived in Port M. I walked upstairs slowly and sat down, ordered the food and drink, lit a cigarette, and stared at the electric light, the incident in Minderi unfolded before my eyes again. Among their sisters, my favorite at that time was the second child.The eldest already has a client, so of course we can’t have any evil thoughts about her, the third is a bit gloomy, unlike a young girl, and the fourth is too far behind me—she was only sixteen at the time—naturally, we can’t interact with each other. Therefore, at that time, the only thing I admired enthusiastically was my second child. Their faces are all oblong, their eyes are big, their nose bridges are high, and their skin is very white. From the appearance, they are all equally cute.However, their personalities are very different.The eldest is kind, the second is lively, the third is gloomy, and the fourth—I can't say anything, because I didn't pay attention to the fourth at the time. The liveliness of the second child is shown everywhere in her actions, words, and laughter.All the men in their mid-twenties who lived in Mindeli at that time, who had met the second child, were not immune to her teasing. Although her figure is not tall, it can still reach the shoulders of ordinary men. If she wears high-soled shoes, she can walk twice as fast as a Western woman. He disregarded any taboos when speaking, and was more straightforward than the daily speech among our male classmates.If she sees something ridiculous, or hears a joke during a conversation, no matter whether the person in front of her is a stranger or not, she will always show her two rows of lovely white fine teeth, bend over and hold her You can't stop laughing, and sometimes you will lean your body on your side and lean against you.The Chen family had several treats, but I couldn't bear the pressure of her attitude, and I would often skip the dinner and go to the newspaper office.So I didn't live in Mindeli for half a year, and the Chen family was big and small, but they gave me a nickname and called me the second son's chicken mother.Because the second child is like a rooster, when something ridiculous happens, she always wants me to be her leaning pillar, jumping on her body and laughing happily.And usually she always makes fun of me. In front of everyone, she always likes to repeat my insensitive movements and my wrong words as materials for laughing.But it's strange to say that she played with me like this and despised me. At that time, not only did I have no intention of hating her, but I also thought it was an honor and a joy.When I was meditating alone, every time I recalled these trifles, I was very grateful to her and admired her.Later, when playing cards, I had to give her whatever cards she wanted. In case I disobeyed her order, she unceremoniously raised her plump hand and slapped it on my face.As for me, after being scolded by her, I feel an indescribable satisfaction in my heart. Sometimes, because I want to be given by her, I deliberately violate her orders and ask her to beat me She kicked my waist with her pointed long leather shoe.If the beatings were not enough, I would deliberately say, "It doesn't hurt! It's not enough! Kick it again! Hit it again!" She then unceremoniously raised her hands or feet to kick her again.When I was beaten until my cheeks were flushed or my waist was sore, I obeyed her orders meekly and did what she wanted me to do again.At times like this, the boss or the third child always stopped her and taught her not to go too far, but I, who was beaten, had to beg them sincerely not to interfere. I remember one time, she was going out to have lunch with a friend; I was sitting and chatting at their house, and she asked me to go to her sister's room to bring a pair of newly bought leather shoes to put on for her.This pair of leather shoes seemed a little too small. I squeezed her feet and put them on for her for a long time before I put on one.She was so angry that she raised her hand and beat me on the face, head, and neck lying in front of her lower abdomen.By the time I put on the second one for her, she had already bruised her neck in several places.When I stood up, smiled at her, and asked her "how are you dressed?" she said, "the tip of my right toe hurts a bit!" Play wider, or better!" Speaking of her feet, it's hard not to love her.She is already in her twenties, and those plump feet are still the same as those of a twelve or thirteen-year-old girl.I also used to wear silk stockings for her, so her plump, white, fleshy feet with thin toes and thick heels are always the center of my fantasies.From these feet, I can imagine many strange dreams.For example, when I was eating, when I saw the pink, white and glutinous fragrant rice, I would think of her feet. "In case this bowl," I thought, "in case this bowl contains her tender feet, she must feel a strange itching pain when I suck here. Lying down on her body, stretching out her fleshy feet for me to suck, there will be a lot of real or not real shouts from her two curved lips. Or turn around, maybe Hit me hard on the head..." When I think about the food here, I want to eat an extra bowl. Such a lively second child, such a docile and clumsy me, the relationship between these two people, the relationship between these two people that has occurred in half a year, of course, can be imagined.What's more, I was not yet twenty-seven years old at the time, and I was not married yet, so I was still very proud of my future hopes! When we were joking in the living room of Chen’s house, my friend’s wife also told us: “Second brother, if Mr. Li becomes your man, he can put on your shoes for you every day.” socks, and it can also serve as your vent hole, so I can be kicked and beaten by you day and night, wouldn’t it be great?” Hearing these words, the second child always smiled, squinted at me and said, “Li Mr. can't, he's too stupid, he doesn't know how to serve people. I'd like to be kicked and beaten, as long as I have a man who can order me and convince me." After such a joke, I always feel full of Feeling melancholy, I have to go to the road alone for a long time to get rid of the depression in my chest. One Saturday night, she and I listened to music at the City Hall on Main Road.The eldest brother and the third child all went to the movies with a friend of their eldest brother-in-law.We walked to the door of a tavern, and suddenly two gusts of cold wind blew.It was the late autumn at the turn of September and October, so I held her hand and said tremblingly, "Second brother, let's go up and eat some hot food before we go back!" She also smiled and said: "Go to a hot bar!" After I drank two cups of hot wine in the restaurant, I got rid of my usual dull and shy attitude, looked around, and saw a person in the empty upstairs. No, I got close to her and stared at her, trembling, and said to her one sentence after another: "Second brother! I...my heart, you may understand? I, I, I am very I want...I want to grow up with you very much!" She raised her eyes to look at me, then curled the two lines of her lips with a teasing smile on the corner of her mouth, and asked me back: "Long together What's the matter?" I was so bold that I moved my mouth and kissed her, but she actually slapped me in the face.The guy downstairs, heard the loud sound of clapping, ran up in a hurry and asked us: "What wine and food do you want?" I held back my tears, and said to the guy with a slight smile: "No, I want you to eat!" Hand towels!" When the clerk went down, she still said to me without changing her usual routine: "Mr. Li, don't do this! If you do these things again next time, I will beat you hard!" The incident was treated as a joke, which unnaturally suppressed my feelings. Others can probably see my feelings for her and the behaviors inspired by these feelings.So although the third child is a very gloomy woman with a very special temper and always speaks in a strange way, she sometimes tries her best to win us over for the affairs between my second child and me.Sometimes when I saw my second child beating me too hard, or mocking me so embarrassingly, I actually felt sorry for me a few times, and said very tactfully and thoughtfully that I felt sorry for my second child.And I, an idiot who doesn't know how to be ugly, not only don't thank the third child in my heart at these times, but I also think that she is meddling and comes out to interfere with other people's free actions. Under such circumstances, the four sisters and I lived opposite each other, and we have been socializing for more than half a year.In the winter of that year, the second child suddenly got engaged to a new college student from Beijing. My state of mind around the Lunar New Year this year was, of course, extremely confused and extremely sad.When I was bored, she would invite me to dinner, play cards, and sometimes go to the movies with me, but usually I don't like her very much, and she and the second child often call her the third child of the shady ghost.And this youngest, today, suddenly met in this southern port city, on this drizzly autumn night, by chance. Thinking of this, the cigarette I held in my hand had burned half an inch of ashes, and the wine poured in the glass in front of me was already cold.In a daze, he drank a few sips of wine, ate two or three chopsticks dishes, and the waiter brought up another plate of raw wing soup.After dinner, I walked back to the hotel slowly in the rain, washed my hands and face, changed my clothes, lay on the bed, tossed and turned, and finally did not close my eyes all night.I remembered the one-night trip that the third child and I took to Suzhou on the second day of the first lunar month of that year.I remembered that night when the two faced each other silently under the electric light.I remembered the sound of her calling me over in her tent the next morning to pick up her dropped clothes.However, I couldn't forget my second child at that time. Not only did I not reciprocate her one or two for her various expressions of kindness, but I simply did not have the leeway to accept her.The two of them finally took a trip in vain, and their relationship finally did not get close. That afternoon, they hurried back to Shanghai like brothers and sisters.After the Lantern Festival, I resigned from the newspaper office because I couldn't bear the depression in my chest. I didn't say goodbye to the four sisters, and I didn't even bring a piece of luggage. Forget everything about my past.Bury all my boredom.In the next two or three years, I drifted east and west, but I haven't lived in one place for more than half a year.Extremely boring, I also learn to be fashionable, write out my depression, and make some novels to sell. However, unknowingly, I finally got the respiratory disease.Now drifting to the corner of the extreme south, who would have thought that I would meet this third child again on the road at dusk!Ah, although this world is very big, it is actually very small. It is not surprising that two wanderers can meet again in such a corner of the world.I thought about it all night, and I didn't fall asleep until it was a little twilight and early workers passed by the window.I don't know how long I slept, but I suddenly heard a few knocks on the door in my dream.Hurriedly sandwiching the quilt, I sat up and saw that the drizzle that had come at night had cleared up, and there were two rays of sunlight in the south window, drying there gray and yellow.I called out vaguely: "Come in!" But the door never opened.After waiting for a few more minutes, the door still didn't open inward, so I felt strange, so I put on my clothes and got out of bed.When I just stood on my feet, the door slowly opened.The one who came in after the door was not bad at all, he was still the third child with a strange and mysterious smile on his face. "Ah, third child! Why did you come so early?" I asked her in surprise. "Is it still early? You see the sun is already slanting!" As she spoke, she walked into the room slowly, looked up and down at me, smiled, then stopped in front of the window as if shy, and looked out the window. There is a corridor outside the window. From a distance, there is a garden of a wealthy family below. The sun is shining softly on the branches of the not-withered pagoda trees and miscellaneous trees. Her attire is different from before.A white silk scarf was exposed from a sesame wool coat, and she was wearing a semi-Western-style eight-quarter-length short jacket, and a long black Indian satin skirt.A light yellow silk bonnet is deeply covered on the forehead, under the curly hem of the hat are those charming big eyes with very dark pupils, big eyes that seem to be staring at something all the time.Originally his face was rectangular, but because of the hat covering his eyes, it seemed to be a bit round. Two or three years have deepened the two lines that run diagonally from the corners of her nose to the corners of her mouth.Pale face, probably because of the hard work of playing cards last night.I was originally a medium-sized body, neither fat nor thin, probably because my own body has shrunk, and it seems to be a little taller than before.She stood in front of the window with my back behind my back. I looked at her shoulders and felt that she was thinner than before. "Third, what are you doing standing there?" I buttoned up my clothes, took a step forward, and patted my right hand on her shoulder, persuading her to take off her coat, and asked her that.She also advanced half a foot, gently avoiding my right hand, came over and said with a smile: "I'm here to settle the score." "Get up early in the morning and count it? What kind of debt?" "Last night's winning account." "Did you win?" "Which time did I not win? Only the time I came with you lost." "Oh, do you still remember so clearly? How much did you lose to me? Which time?" "Nearly lost my life!" "Third!" "..." "You haven't changed your temper yet, and you still like to talk about these dead words." After that, she just smiled and didn't speak. I took a chair and asked her to sit down, and then I went to wash my mouth and face in the basin on the west corner. After a while she called me again and said: "Mr. Li! You haven't changed your temper yet. You always like to smoke these cigarettes." "Third!" "..." "Fortunately, you haven't changed your mind yet, and you can still come here. If you met the second child yesterday, I'm afraid she won't come." "Mr. Li, haven't you forgotten your second child?" "It seems that there is still a little memory." "Your friendship is really good!" "Who says it's not good!" "The second child is really blessed!" "Where is she now?" "I don't know either. I haven't corresponded for a long time. In the past two or three months, I heard that I was still in Shanghai." "Where's the eldest brother?" "It's still the same, and it's still in Mindeli. The thing that has changed the most is me!" "Yes, yes, you said yesterday that you don't want me to go to your place, why is that?" "It's not that I don't want you to go, I'm afraid people will gossip. You should know that there are a lot of people in Ah Lu's house." "Yes, yes, that overseas Chinese is surnamed Lu. Third, why did you take a fancy to this fat gentleman again?" "For a person like me, there is something to say about what is good or bad. It is finally a strange dream." "Is this a good dream?" "What's so good about it? Even I don't know what it is." "You don't know why, why did you marry him again?" "What is marriage? I just took it as a gift, a gift from the boss and brother-in-law." "Third!" "..." "How did he die so early?" "Who knows him, it's harmful." Because her voice became depressed, I didn't dare to ask any more questions.After I had changed my clothes and finished washing my hands and face, I took out my watch from my pocket and saw that it was three characters past two o'clock.I lit a cigarette, sat down opposite her, and peeked at her, but there was no trace of her mysterious smile.The sunken eyes, the deep lines at the corners of her mouth, and the pallor of her cheeks completely painted her as a newly widowed woman.I knew she was thinking about the past, so I didn't dare to interrupt her train of thought.He breathed silently for half an hour.She stood up suddenly and said, "I'm going!" When she spoke, her body had already reached the door.I chased after her to keep her, but she hurried out without turning her face to look at me.I chased up to the escalator again and told her to wait. When she got to the bottom of the stairs, she looked at me with those dark eyes and said softly, "Come back tomorrow!" Since this time, she has been coming to my place almost every day. The relationship between the two gradually became harmonious.But no matter what, when I wanted to press further, she always tried to escape or build a castle against me.After I met her, for about ten days, my mind and thoughts were completely disturbed by her.It is said that people with respiratory diseases are most likely to be excited by lust, which is probably true.At that time, I couldn't bear it anymore, so I never let her go back that afternoon, and I insisted that she go to dinner with me. The weather was fine that morning.When she came in the afternoon, it was very hot.At three or four o'clock, clouds formed in the sky, and after the sun went down, a wind blew up in the sky.She seemed to be affected by the change of the weather, she was only depressed for a while, she said several times to go, I tried my best to keep her, but in the end she seemed to feel helpless, so she bowed her head and tried her best. Sit there and meditate. As the sun went down, shadows crept out from the corner of the room.The half of the sky seen from the south window is still slightly purple.A gray-black floating cloud, like old cotton, quietly pressed against the window.The whistling of the wind came through the glass window, and the two of them sat silently in this dark world, feeling that all human beings other than us have died.I didn't know how long I had been immersed in this silent, evening, and dark sea of ​​sorrow, when suddenly the electric light shone like a lightning strike.I stood up, took an old black cloak of hers, and put it on her from behind, and then bent down, and hugged her under the blade with both hands, trying to take advantage of the momentum from her right side to shake my head. I leaned against her cheek, but she suddenly stood up as if waking up from a dream, and pushed me hard.I was afraid that she would run out of the door again and go home, so I immediately ran to the door to stop her.She saw my confused attitude, but laughed.Although the posture of standing upright under the lamp is still strict, but her eyes are smiling, the tense muscles on her face are also relaxed, and there is also a smile on the corner of her mouth.So I got bolder, and approached her again, hugged her with a cloak in my hand, and whispered in her ear: "Third brother! Are you afraid? Are you afraid of me? I won't dare anymore, I won't dare any more, let's go out for dinner together!" Although she was silent, one side of her body was softly embraced by me.I took her out of the room and let go.Let her go first, down the escalator, and out into the street. The two of us walked on the streets at sunset, took a long detour, avoided that P Street, and reached the center of the most lively long street in Port M, not daring to walk abreast and say a word.The lights on the street were all shining brightly in the cold light, the wind was still blowing, the leaves of the trees on the street were scattered in a messy way, the two of us walked for a long time before we reached the Wanghai Restaurant Sit down in a small room by the sea on the third floor. Sitting down, she saw that her hair had been disheveled by the cool wind; her thin cheeks were especially pale.She was going to take off her cloak, but I persuaded her not to, and ordered a glass of brandy to be poured out for her at once.She drank the hot tea and brandy, wiped her head and face with a towel, and sat quietly for a few minutes before returning to normal.That mysterious smile and piercing eyes radiated electricity in the cold air again. "It's really cold today!" I said to her. "Do you feel cold too?" "Why don't I feel cold?" "I thought you were colder than the weather." "Third!" "..." "How was the night in Suzhou that year compared to today?" "I want to ask you!" "Third brother! That's my fault, it's me, my fault." "..." She was all silent, so I couldn't say much.In the middle of the meal, I just flattered and told in a low voice what happened when I was in Mindley.By the time she finished eating, she had only said a dozen words in total. I wanted to evoke her memory and rekindle her old feelings for me at that time, but looking at the expression on her face, it was finally the same as before. Moved by me.In the end, I was so helpless by her that I begged her not to go back with half violence and half tears, and then dragged her to the floor of a foreign hotel next to Wanghai Restaurant. superior. It was late at night, and the wind outside was still blowing slightly.Fifty lightning bolts lit up in the second half of the night, making me feel extremely lonely.The air in the room also increased the coldness, she was still wearing clothes, and lay there facing the inner bed through a quilt.I rushed over a few times, but she always overthrew me. In the last time, she burst into tears. While crying, she said intermittently: "Mr. Li! Our... our affairs have long... been over. That year, if that year...you could...you could love me as much as you do now, then I...I also... ...I won't...I won't suffer like this. I...I...you know...I...I...for two or three years...!" Speaking of this, she sobbed even more, covered her head with the quilt, and wept heartily.I think about her life experience, think about her current state, think about how she treated me in the past, and even think about my own family's half-life, and I am also moved by her weeping. All in the sore bursts of pain bursts of sadness.She cried for more than half an hour, and I sat silently on the bed for more than half an hour, feeling that her tears had washed away my evil thoughts, and I didn't think about anything anymore.After sitting quietly for a few more minutes, I heard that her crying had stopped, so I leaned over again and said to her sincerely: "Third brother! Tonight, I am not good again. I am sorry for you. I misunderstood your true meaning. Our time has indeed passed. What I asked of you tonight is indeed very despicable. Please forgive me, oh, please forgive me, I will never do such a despicable thing again, oh, please forgive me! Please stick your head out; turn around , say to me, say to me, please forgive me! Let us forget everything in the past, please forget this despicable thing about me tonight. Oh, third child!" I leaned on her pillow, and after I said these words with tears in my eyes, her head was still facing the inner bed, and her body refused to move.I waited for a long time before she turned her head and raised her teary eyes, looking at me as if pitying me or resenting me.After seeing her teary eyes, I somehow felt more grateful than when a prisoner on death row was pardoned.She still turned her head, and I lay down outside her quilt.After lying down, although neither of them fell asleep, my heart was very comfortable and I lay down silently until dawn. When I got up in the morning, after a little freshening up, she smiled at me as usual, and I am!Although he was smiling on his face, his heart was full of tears and bitter tears that were being swallowed into his throat and nose. When the two came out of the hotel, there were only a few red clouds covering the east, and the wind that came at night swept away the whole blue sky.The sun has gone out of the sea, and the few quiet streets basked in the weak sunlight, except for some leaves that have been blown by the wind and a few piles of dust, are much cleaner than usual.I turned around the long street and took her to the door of her own house. When we were about to say goodbye, I just squeezed her cold hands and said softly to her: "Third brother! Please take care of yourself, I'm afraid there will be very few opportunities for us to meet in the future." After I said these words, my heart suddenly twisted for some reason, and my eyes were like fog. It seems that a layer of obscuration has been erected.She also seemed to take a deep look at me, then quickly pulled her hands away, and ran to the back of the house. At night on this day, there was an eyebrow-shaped crescent moon shining on the sea, and I was smoking in a cabin with many people from southern provinces who did not understand each other.There was a lot of wind and waves outside the cabin, and everyone only calculated the speed of the ship and the time when it arrived at Port H under the electric lights. January 10, 1927 in Shanghai (Originally published in "Creation Monthly", Volume 1, Issue 6, February 1, 1927)