Chapter 2 Chapter One

one "There is actually a child among them..." Some people who don't know their lives very well, and are a little familiar with the couple, when the child was born, they used a slightly strange meaning to discuss the news of the child's birth. arrived. When the child turned one year old, the grandmother, who traveled three thousand miles away, entrusted someone who came to Beijing to send a box full of children's clothes, hats and toys.At the same time, I wrote a long letter to the mother's daughter. The letter was full of the old man's self-conscious happiness, and in a slightly proud tone, he said how he showed the photos he sent to his relatives, how he dreamed of How the child grows up and walks holding the grandmother's hand... Everything that can make the elderly happy is written.

one The couple had been married for eight years, and they seemed to have no hope for children. Suddenly one of them became a grandmother, and it was only natural that the grandmother's mood suddenly became somewhat childish. The letter came at a time when the mother changed the child into clean white clothes, put the child in a small white rattan sleeping car, and was about to push the child to the park.After hastily reading the letter, the mother opened the box, and took out the children's things one by one, such as shoes, hat, leather ball, harmonica, bell-bottom trousers and jacket,...while teasing the children, she put everything in the box. In the child's hand, he took it away and threw it aside for a moment, while smiling at Wang Ma who was standing beside her, wondering how the old lady in the country would stuff the box like this.

"Look, the little Bodhisattva is here too!" She said while holding a clay Buddha in her hand. "This is for me. When I was a child, I only wanted such a clay Buddha to play with. In my dream, I also planned to go to Dawang Temple to steal one and put it under the pillow as a treasure. Look, the old lady got this thing somewhere. There are words on it, which come from the temple, so funny!" She gave the little clay Buddha to the child, and the child didn't know what it was for, so he put it in his mouth.She snatched it back from the child again. "Hey, is this sugar? Is this edible? It should belong to me, baby, you can only play with the Bodhisattva made of sugar. Wang Ma, put this on my mirror stand. Look, this handicraft is not ordinary, you Be careful not to fall to the ground!" She carefully handed the clay Buddha to the mother, picked out a ball for the second time, and put it in the child's hand, "Baby, eat this if you can."

Taking everything out, she always used that tone of surprise and joy, or said, "This grandmother is funny!" Or say "Bring this too!" or "It's all for me, the baby has no points!" My mother, who was already twenty-six years old, now looks like an eighteen-year-old girl.The letters and things from afar brought all the grandmother's love as a mother, making the child's mother a grown-up child. Hearing the flower seller outside calling for flowers, she remembered that she should go to the park, it was too late, the sun would be high, so she put down the things in the box carelessly, pushed the child's car and left home.

When she arrived under the shade of the trees in the park, she saw the child's face and couldn't bear to take her eyes off for a moment. The child is one year old, stout, clean, and lively, with white feet that the mother just wants to put in her mouth, and there is a sweet smell all over her body. The child will still grin a little, and call mom and dad. He has his status in the world, and his status in the mother's heart can't be seen. In the past few days in the school park, because the weather is too It was so hot that the trees seemed to be very tired. Every morning in the garden, there were small workers who took the taps and sprinkled water everywhere.Seeing these water sprinklers doing things, in normal times, she always thought of a ridiculous thing, that is, when she was a child, she saw the rainmakers carrying grass dragons to the door of each other, and each poured a ladle full of water on their heads. Go situation.Why she only thought of this matter is very strange, because this grass dragon, this ladle full of water, has a lot to do with her, and the child also has a share.

However, the past is like the past spring. Once it is the past, it seems that the rest is just a dream. Therefore, even if the child is still by my side, the child's small face and that look of anticipation can remind the mother of something. A story that should shed tears.But because of the tranquility of life at present, her mood has become a purely maternal mood, and she can't disturb her current mind with the events of another time. Seeing Shuilong thinking of everything else, she just regards it as a ridiculous association. Today I still see Xiao Gong working in that ping, water spraying from the faucet, forming an iridescent color under the morning sun.There is a rainbow in the water, and the grandmother's letter, at the back, seems to praise the child's appearance. "There is a rainbow in the water", thinking this way, she felt a little uncomfortable.

The letter was in the bag, and she took it out and read it again. The letter said: They said the child was named Qisheng, who took it?They say that children are like mothers, not like fathers.Children say that he looks great. I have heard this a thousand times. Of course, you can laugh at me because I have shown his appearance a thousand times, so I hear so many compliments.I made a wish for him to go to Wanfolin.I tell his fortune, and it is said that he is smarter than his father. The letter completely talked about the child, and it seemed that only the child could say it. After seeing the mother suddenly stood up and wanted to avoid the child, it was necessary to go to another place where there was no one to cry.She twisted a stack of letter papers into a rope with both hands, walked a foot away from the child, looked at the white clouds in the sky, their color was dispirited, like glass clouds flying slowly in the sky against the blue sky.

The slowly moving cloud elephant used that elegant posture very subtly to show that he knew nothing and just didn't open his mouth. A wise man who can look up and admire should be able to recall what the clouds in the sky have seen on the ground at any time in the past. The mother felt lonely.She needs help, but she is more and more afraid of looking at the side where the child is. She thought: This is strange, suddenly feeling like this. She thought: I am really a poor person, born into this world. She thought: This year I lived for the children; this time, I lived for myself, so I am not happy to be an idiot again.

No matter how I explain myself, forgive myself with various excuses, and forgive my unpleasant past with a good future, I still hold on to some things, and there is an inexplicable pain entanglement.In order to try to maintain her peace of mind as before, she still mustered up the courage to go to the child's car to tease the child. The child laughed when he saw his mother.Mother also forced a smile. Looking down at the child's smile, in this innocent and pure life, it reflects the mother's sinful self-blame hidden deep in her heart. She couldn't think of something to do with children.

"A child is not like a father, but like a mother." She remembered what the grandmother said in a confused situation, and then went to look at the child in detail. She could see that in many places, the child was neither like mother nor father, and there was another kind of demeanor.The nose, ears, long eyes, slightly raised eyebrows, and the charming vertical line at the corner of the mouth when he smiles are all that person.Two years ago, because of this kind of laughter, this mother made herself take a risk, and bravely did some things that would have surprised her even thinking about it at another time.The teasing of fate has become the root of people's regret. A little willfulness for a while, everything becomes the past in the blink of an eye, and it cannot be frozen for a while, it is gone.It was this child who, with the passage of time, remained frozen as if to make a mocking mark of life.But until now, the situation is that even the nominal father seems to have no doubts about his own status, and therefore feels distressed.

It is precisely because the grandmother, father, and even acquaintances all have this trust, and no one is willing to doubt his own parental rights, so the mother can see the child grow up.The child is now the first anniversary of his birth, and the reason for the child is two years ago. Although it was two years ago, but when she thought about it, it seemed like a long, long time ago. If it weren't for the letter from the child's grandmother today, even if he held the child in his arms, he wouldn't be able to think about the child's birth. She thought of her secret, revisited her willful behavior at that time, and felt another kind of pity for the child. She held the child in her arms very gently, and put her little hand on his own lips.Sit on the shade wooden chair. one A white cloud passed overhead.The mother points to the cloud for the child to see. "Baby, this is a cloud." The child said "cloud". "Yun is the baby's father." The child said "Daddy" again. "Yun is Dad." "Cloud -- Dad." one A young man named Yun surged up in the mother's memory, and the mother smiled helplessly alone. She smiled, and in her heart, she was serious about her smile, and she smiled the second time. two At twelve o'clock the "father" came home from a trust for lunch.The mother and the child have already changed homes.The mother is still with the child, cleaning out the box of various things that the grandmother sent for the child.The child sat on the small chair, took the ball and the trumpet, and wanted the gourd.The child's temperament has a kind of heredity - unrestrained greed. The father went to the child before taking off his clothes when he came back, hugged the child and lifted the child high. "Ah, baby, who gives so many babies!" The mother still smiled with the meaning of being in the park, and said lightly: "Mother sent a box of things, and it was delivered in the morning." She pointed out the items in the box to the father, "Here, baby's little hat; here , leather shoes; here, the jacket, embroidered, it took a lot of work! And these," she pointed to a bunch of toys. "Mother is really interesting, enough for her collection!" "There is something strange." She suddenly remembered the clay Buddha. "Wang Ma, bring that Bodhisattva." Wang Ma was about to enter the room, but the mother suddenly fought to get it by herself, and after a while, the clay Buddha was admired by the father. The mother treasured the clay Buddha as her second child. When she saw the child's father inspecting the small characters under the Buddha's seat, she told the child's father with the same air as Wang Ma had said before, how the little clay Buddha gave herself. Added all sorts of fantasies in the hours. She added, "This is for me. Mother knows that I like this thing, so I found it." For the child's mother's hobbies, the child's father seemed a little strange. He saw the gentle smile of the mother who was fighting with the child for toys. The father said: "Su, I knew you liked this a long time ago. I can buy ten of them at the temple fair." "I love it because I was happy when I was young." "I see that you have been a child since you had a child, not like an adult at all." Mother remained silent, and turned to Wang Ma, why didn't she bring the master's mouthwash and wipe the master's face with a towel. When the mother heard it, she remembered that she forgot to tell the master that there was a braised fish head on the table today, and she didn't go to twist the towel after she said the words, because as usual, when the father had something to say about the fish head, the father said: "Wang Ma, you Roasted fish heads are always too sweet." The mother replied obediently: "Because you love sweets." "I'm only happy." Mother said with an unnatural smile. "Some people like to use vinegar, but I hate vinegar." Father said his opinion on the fish head as if showing his identity. The mother who heard this turned her back and gritted her teeth lightly. The father asked again: "Have you received any letter today?" "Only my mother has a letter." Mazi wrung out a hand towel and wiped the master's face. Mother deliberately avoided this conversation, so she didn't say anything, and only asked Mazi if the dishes were ready. Telling her that it was too late, the mother asked the mother again, what happened to the child's clothes that had been sewn for four days and still not brought. She then kissed the child, and talked with the child's father about the wedding gift of a colleague surnamed Wang in the company, about buying ice in the hot weather, and about the child's weight. She brought up many unnecessary questions to discuss with her father, especially about the children. She was a little more maternal than usual, which my father felt. Seeing this situation, the father thought to himself, this is really a model mother. The mother had nothing to say, and when she saw the father teaching the child to call him dad, she suddenly felt a little flustered, so she went to the kitchen to cook.Soon after he brought the dishes to the table, he asked his father whether he had failed or succeeded. Everything she does is a reflection of her mood in the park. In order to forget something, she happily did something. So they ate. Father drinks.Drinking is not a habit, only drink when the mood is particularly good.When he saw the child and the mother, he had to drink to celebrate the health of the family. Mother knew the meaning of drinking, she laughed. There is nothing more natural than a smile to conceal the cruel marks that have been carved by oneself in the heart. During the meal, the two talked about their grandmother, and then they talked about their grandmother's letter.The child's father asked what the letter said, and the mother remembered that the letter had been twisted into a roll by herself and put it under the leather cushion in the child's sleeping car, so she asked Mama Wang to see if it was there.Wang Ma brought the letter back, and the child's father was not surprised by the crumpled letter, as if it should be like this.Read the letter at the dinner table and still eat. When my father reads the letter, my mother naturally has a little wave in her heart.Although she knew that what made her heart beat in the letter might not make her father's heart beat in the same way, she didn't swallow the food in her mouth until her father had finished reading the letter.Every time the father mentioned the child, the mother felt as if she was in the middle of evil, trembling slightly.Although she could always hide herself with a smile that made people unable to see the meaning clearly, she had an inexplicable pity for the father's frank attitude that could almost be called an idiot.Her mouth moved slightly from time to time, as if she was about to yell loudly at the child's father to make something stupid.But Daishi's hope for children is not lower than that of her grandmother, so she will never get the chance to confess. Not long after dinner, the father took his big leather bag and went to work in the company, leaving the child and the child's mother at home. Because the mother forbids herself to think of things that are not done by intelligent people, she puts the child beside her and reads by herself.She also spent her days like this in the past, but she was not as reluctant as she is today.In front of her husband, she can still look like a child because he treats her like a child.But she is the only one in front of her children, she is a complete mother.A mother's love for her children and their father should be the whole, without any other ingredients, so that this mother can complete the greatness of motherhood.Today's child, upon careful analysis, is nothing more than a guilty wart. While reading a book, she thought of her grandmother who was three thousand miles away and estimated the glorious future of her grandson, so she sighed softly. She picked out many words that seemed to be said for herself from a book of women's confessions she had read. Is this a sin?Concealed until death.It is because of children that many people feel the fullness of the moon.It is because of the children that the family is complete.This secret depth is just like the secret depth of the whole human life. Love should penetrate deeper than the sun. ...Thinking, still sighing. She thinks people are too cowardly. Her sighs contain the same ingredients as her smiles. three In the evening, the father of the child who came home from the trust company bought ten clay Buddhas for his mother and made a package. She guessed ten things, all wrong. Later, the content was discovered, and it was more delicate and exquisite than the grandmother gave the child. She looked at the child's father in surprise. The father really seemed to buy this thing for the sake of the child, thinking that she would be extremely happy to get this clay Buddha. He said: "I think you look like a child, so I'll buy this for you to play with." A mother's smile.He added: "It's the anniversary of what a mother does to her child." Her face suddenly paled.He didn't realize it yet, and said: "This is to commemorate our love." After a while, she lay down on the bed and fell asleep. It was still early, and he was afraid that the child was hurting her, so he didn't let her sleep at this time, and invited her to the park to play without bringing the child, saying that he had something to say to her.She thought for a while, shook her head, and said she was lazy. She didn't go, sighed, but stood up. "Unhappy, why?" "No reason." "Let's go and play, it will be fine." "I will not go." "I have something to say there." "Really?" "I didn't lie." She stared at the poor father for a while, her eyes became moist, and she hurried to the back room to see the child with an excuse. They arrived at the park before long. "The park at night is a place for young lovers. We seem to be out of place." He said this as a joke, and took her, who was silent, from a narrow path made of oleander to the pool.The figures under the tree overlapped, as if they were enjoying the beautiful night there.There are also many people around the pool, and everyone seems to be whispering something that makes the listener's heart beat.Occasionally, when a pond fish splashed on the water surface, everyone turned their spirits to the water surface again. "It's still boring here, go elsewhere." The woman was noncommittal, and followed him up a rockery.When he got to the mountain, it was very interesting to see the lights all over the garden, in the treetops, so he stood there and looked around.She also looked around, but her heart was not on the lamp. "Su, why are you unhappy?" "..." She shook her head. "Are you sick?" "..." She shook her head. "I see you are very happy during the day, why are you like this at night?" "..." Still shaking his head. She didn't think of the discomfort at this time.She almost wanted to run away. But he, although he could see her displeasure, did not know why.The good husband was never so far as to disturb her by the thought of the child. He wanted to change the method and mentioned the children they had in common. Unexpectedly, just after saying the word child, she seemed to have been electrocuted and rushed straight down the rockery. At the foot of the mountain, he overtook her, and he stopped her.His attitude is heavy, and his words are as heavy as his attitude. He said, "Why? What has disrupted our lives like this? What have I done wrong and what have you heard people say? Have I lied to you?" "No!" "You just don't, what do you want me to do?" "Do you want me?" She was thinking, concentrating on her words and making a deliberate smile. He forced her to explain.He said it doesn't matter what it is, as long as it's clear. She still didn't explain anything clearly, she only told him that it was all because of herself, if he could leave her, or let her go home alone, and don't abuse her with tenderness, she would disappear all the unhappiness by tomorrow. Naturally, this remark made him a little angry.But he still did as she did after he arrived, let her go back, and promised him to go to the movies alone, and not go home after the movie, but to stay at a colleague's house for one night. They walked out of the park, and he was going to take her home and she didn't want it. "You go, I will go back by myself. You understand my temper, and you will be able to forgive me." He said he was forgiven, but it was just a situation of helplessness. When he watched his wayward wife leave, he felt a sense of desolation, so he called the streetcar to go to the ×× movie theater. When she got home, she lay down on the bed and cried. She cried for a long time.She didn't need anything, just shed tears unscrupulously.She didn't go to see the child until the child was crying in the back room. She laughed, sighed, and shed tears, none of which other people could know. The next day, the father, who had been restless all night, came home at seven o'clock, and the child was nursing in the mother's arms. The child called Dad, and Dad saw the smile on his mother's face, and smiled too.