Chapter 3 in the restaurant

I traveled from the north to the southeast, and visited my hometown by detour, and then I went to S city.This city is only thirty miles away from my hometown, and it takes half a day to get there by boat. I once worked as a teacher in a school here for a year.After the snow in the deep winter, the scenery is desolate, the combination of laziness and nostalgia, I actually stayed temporarily in the Luosi Hotel in S City; this hotel did not exist before.The city circle is not big, so I searched for a few old colleagues who I thought I could meet, but none of them were there.In less than two hours, my interest has long since faded, and I regret that I have been so troublesome here.

The hotel I live in rents rooms and does not sell food. The food must be ordered separately, but it is tasteless and tastes like chewing mud.Outside the window there are only stained and mottled walls covered with dead berry moss; above is the lead-colored sky, which is absolutely white, and the light snow is flying again.I was not full for lunch and had nothing to do for entertainment, so I naturally thought that there was a small restaurant I was familiar with before, called Yishiju, which was not far from the hotel.I immediately locked the door and went out to the restaurant.In fact, it's just to escape the boredom among customers for the time being, and it's not just to get drunk.The Stone House is still there, and the small, damp storefront and dilapidated signboards are still there; but there is no acquaintance from the shopkeeper to the waiter, and I have become a complete stranger in this Stone House.However, I finally stepped up the familiar escalator in the corner of the room, and from there I went up to the small building.There are still five small board tables above; only the rear window, which was originally a wooden lattice, has been replaced with glass.

"A catty of Shaojiu.—Vegetables? Ten pieces of fried tofu, more chili sauce!" I said to Tang Coffin who came up with me, walked towards the back window, and sat down at a table by the window.The upstairs is "empty", so I can choose the best seat: I can overlook the abandoned garden downstairs.This garden probably does not belong to the restaurant. I have looked at it many times before, sometimes in snowy weather.But now, from the eyes accustomed to the north, it is quite surprising: a few old plums are actually blooming with flowers, as if they don’t care about the deep winter; there is a camellia tree beside the collapsed pavilion, which has been growing since A dozen or so red flowers stand out from the dense green leaves, their splendor shining like fire in the snow, angry and arrogant, as if willing to travel far away while despising tourists.At this time, I suddenly thought of the moistness of the snow here, lingering, crystal clear and shiny, not as dry as the powder of new snow, when a strong wind blows, it will fly up and fill the sky like smoke. ...

"Guest, wine..." Tang Coffin said lazily, put down the cup, chopsticks, jug and dishes, the wine arrived.I turned to the board table, arranged the utensils, and poured out the wine.I feel that the north is certainly not my old hometown, but coming from the south can only be regarded as a guest. No matter how the dry snow falls over there, or how attached the soft snow here is, it doesn't matter to me anymore.I was a little sad, but took a sip of wine comfortably.The taste of the wine is very pure; the fried tofu is also cooked very well; unfortunately, the chili sauce is too weak, and the people of S City do not know how to eat spicy food.

Probably because it was in the afternoon, this could be called a restaurant, but it didn't look like a restaurant. I had already drank three glasses of wine, and there were still four empty tables beside me.Looking at the abandoned garden, I gradually felt lonely, but I didn't want other drinkers to come up.Occasionally, he heard footsteps on the stairs, so he couldn't help but feel a little annoyed, and he felt relieved when he saw that it was a coffin, so he drank two more glasses of wine. I thought it must be a drinker this time, because the footsteps I heard were much slower than the waiter's.About the time he finished walking the stairs, I raised my head to look at this innocent companion in fear, and stood up in surprise at the same time.I unexpectedly met a friend here by accident—if he still allows me to call him a friend now.The person who came up was obviously my old classmate, and also an old colleague from the time when I was a teacher. Although his appearance has changed a bit, he was familiar with him at first sight, but his unique movements have become extremely slow, unlike the agile and capable Lu Weifu back then. .

"Ah, Weifu, is that you? I never expected to meet you here." "Ah, it's you? I never expected..." I invited him to sit with me, but he seemed to hesitate before sitting down.I was surprised at first, then sad and unhappy.Looking closely at his appearance, he still has a disheveled beard and hair; his pale square face is thinner.He is energetic and calm, or rather depressed, and the eyes under his thick and black eyebrows have also lost their brilliance, but when he slowly looks around, he suddenly flashes the shooting eyes that I often saw in school when he looked at the waste garden. come light.

"We," I said happily, but rather unnaturally, "it may have been ten years since we parted. I knew you were in Jinan, but I was too lazy to write a letter.  … " "They're all the same. But now I've been in Taiyuan for more than two years, with my mother. When I came back to pick her up, I knew you had moved away, and it was very clean." "What are you doing in Taiyuan?" I asked. "Teaching, in a fellow countryman's home." "What about before?" "Before this?" He took out a cigarette from his pocket, lit it, and held it in his mouth. Looking at the smoke, he said thoughtfully, "It's nothing more than doing some boring things. Do."

He also asked me about the situation after the farewell; while I told him an outline, I asked the waiter to bring the cups and chopsticks first, so that he could drink my wine first, and then go to add two catties.In the meantime, we ordered food. We were unceremonious before, but now we gave in. Finally, we couldn't tell who ordered which one, so we specified four dishes from the waiter's oral report: fennel beans, frozen Meat, fried tofu, dried herring. "As soon as I came back, I thought I was ridiculous." With a cigarette in one hand and a wine glass in the other, he said to me with a half-smile. "When I was a teenager, I saw a bee or a fly stop at one place. When I was frightened by something, it flew away immediately, but after flying in a small circle, it came back and stopped at the same place. Poor. But now I flew back myself, but in a small circle. I didn't expect you to come back too. Can't you fly farther?"

"It's hard to say, maybe it's just a little detour." I also said with a half-smile. "But why did you fly back?" "It's still for boring things." He drank a glass of wine in one gulp, took a few puffs of cigarettes, and his eyes were slightly dilated. "Boring.—but let's talk." The waiter brought in newly added food and wine, filling up the tables, and the smoke and the heat of fried tofu from the upstairs seemed to be lively; outside the building, the snow was falling more and more. "Perhaps you knew," he went on, "that I once had a little brother who died at the age of three and was buried here in the country. I don't even remember what he looked like, but my mother said it was A very cute child, and I am also very congenial, and she still seems to cry when she mentions it. This spring, a cousin sent a letter, saying that his grave has been gradually flooded, and he will soon be afraid. If I'm going to fall into the river, I have to find something quickly. My mother was very anxious when she found out, and she couldn't sleep for several nights——she can read letters by herself. But what can I do? I have no money, no time: There was no law at that time.

"Until now, taking advantage of the free time during the annual vacation, I have to go back to the south to bury him." He drank another glass of wine, looked out of the window, and said, "How can this be the case over there? In the snow There will be flowers, and it will not freeze under the snow. Just the day before yesterday, I bought a small coffin in the city—because I expected that the one under the ground should have rotted long ago—with cotton wool and quilts, I hired four coffins. Geotechnical workers, I went to the countryside to be buried. I was suddenly very happy at that time, willing to dig a grave and see the bones of my little brother who was once very close to me: I have never experienced these things in my life. When I got to the cemetery, Sure enough, the river just gnawed in, and it was less than two feet away from the grave. The poor grave has not been cultivated for two years, and it has been leveled. Standing in the snow, I pointed at him decisively and said to the earthworker, dig it up! I am really a mediocre person. At this time, I felt that my voice was a little strange. This order was also the greatest order in my life. But the earth workers were not surprised, and started digging. After digging the hole , I went over to look, and sure enough, the coffin was almost rotten, leaving only a pile of wood strands and small pieces of wood. My heart was trembling, and I went to pull these out, very carefully, to see my little brother , but unexpectedly! Bedding, clothes, bones, nothing. I thought, these are all gone, I have always heard that the most difficult thing to rot is the hair, maybe there is still. I fell down, where the pillow should be I looked carefully in the soil, but there is nothing there. There is no trace!"

I suddenly saw that the circles of his eyes were slightly red, but I knew immediately that he was drunk.He doesn't eat much food, but just keeps drinking wine. He has already drank more than a catty, and his expression and behavior have become lively. He is approaching the Lu Weifu I saw before. Turning around, also holding the wine glass, listening silently directly opposite. "Actually, there's no need to move here, just level the ground and sell the coffin; that's it. It's a bit weird for me to sell the coffin, but as long as the price is extremely cheap, the original shop will take it, at least you can always get it back A few pennies for wine. But I didn’t pretend to be like this. I still spread out the bedding, wrapped some soil where his body was before with cotton, wrapped it up, put it in a new coffin, and transported it to the cemetery where my father was buried. It was buried next to his grave. Because of the brick pier used outside, I was busy for most of the day yesterday: supervisor. But this finally finished one thing, enough to deceive my mother and make her feel more at ease. —— Ah , you look at me like this, do you blame me for being so different from before? Yes, I also remember that when we went to the Town God’s Temple to pluck the beards of the gods, we talked about ways to reform China so much that we fought But that's how I am now, perfunctory and vague. I sometimes think to myself that if my former friends see me, I'm afraid they won't recognize me as a friend.—But I'm like this now." He took out another cigarette, put it in his mouth, and lit it. "Looking at your expression, you seem to have some expectations of me--I am naturally much more numb now, but I can still see some things. This makes me very grateful, but it also makes me very disturbed: I am afraid that I will finally fail. An old friend who still has good intentions for me..." He stopped suddenly, took a few puffs of cigarettes, and then said slowly, "Just today, before I came to this stone house, I did it. It's a boring thing, but it's something I'm willing to do. My former neighbor on the east side is Changfu, a boatman. He has a daughter named A Shun. You may have seen her when you came to my house, but you I must not have noticed, because she was still young at that time. Later she was not good-looking, but she had a normal thin melon-seeded face and yellow skin; her eyes were very big, her eyelashes were very long, and the whites of her eyes were as green as night It’s a sunny day in the north, and it’s a windless sunny day in the north, so the place here is not so clear. She is very capable. She lost her mother in her teens, and she relied on her to take care of her two younger siblings, and she had to serve her father. She was considerate in everything; She is also economical, but her family has gradually become stable. Almost none of the neighbors did not praise her, and even Chang Fu often said something to be grateful for. This time when I left and came back, my mother remembered her again. It’s been a long time. She said that she once knew that Shun Gu was punished by her father because she saw someone wearing red velvet flowers on her hair, and wanted to have one herself, but she couldn’t get it. She cried and cried for half the night. After that, the eye sockets were still red and swollen for two or three days. This kind of velvet flower is something from other provinces, and it can’t be bought in S city. How can she get it? When I go back to the south this time, she asked me to buy two. give her. "I don't feel bored with this job, but I like it very much. For Ah Shun, I am really willing to contribute. The year before last, when I came back to pick up my mother, one day, Chang Fu was at home. I started chatting with him. He wanted to treat me to snacks, buckwheat flour, and told me that what was added was white sugar. You think, a boatman who can have white sugar at home is by no means a poor boatman, so he also eats it. It’s very generous. I was persuaded, so I agreed, but asked to use only a small bowl. He was also very sophisticated, so he told Ah Shun that literati don’t know how to eat. Just use a small bowl and add more sugar! However, when it was prepared and served, I was still taken aback. It was a big bowl, enough for me to eat for a day. But compared with the bowl Changfu ate, mine was indeed a small bowl. I have never eaten it in my life. Buckwheat flour, this time I tasted it, it was really unpalatable, but it was very sweet. I took a few mouthfuls and thought about not eating, but accidentally, I suddenly saw Ah Shun standing far away in the corner of the room, and I immediately lost the courage to put down the bowls and chopsticks. I saw her expression, which was fear and hope, probably because I was afraid that I might not make it well. I hope we have a good meal. I know that if there are more than half a bowl left, I must let her Disappointed and sorry. I decided at the same time, let go of my throat and drank it down, eating almost as fast as Changfu. From this I know the pain of hard eating. I only remember eating up a bowl when I was a child It is so difficult to mix the powdered sugar that repels roundworms. However, I don’t complain, because the smug smile she smiled when she came to clear up the empty bowl was more than enough to make up for my pain. So I spent the night. I was so full that I couldn’t sleep well, and I had a series of nightmares. I still wished her a happy life and wished the world a better life for her. However, these meanings are just the traces of my old dreams, and I laughed to myself immediately , and then forget it. "I didn't know that she had been beaten for a velvet flower, but as soon as my mother mentioned it, she remembered the buckwheat flour, and she became diligent. I searched in Taiyuan first, but there was nothing. ; all the way to Jinan..." There was a rustling sound outside the window, and a lot of snow slid down from the Yiji camellia tree that was bent by him, and the branches straightened up, showing the fat black leaves and blood-red flowers.The leaden color of the sky became thicker, and the little birds were chirping. It was probably dusk, and the ground was covered with snow again. There was no food to be found, and they all rushed back to their nests early to rest. "All the way to Jinan," he continued, looking out the window, turning around to finish a glass of wine, and took a few more puffs of his cigarette. "I just bought velvet flowers. I don't know if it's the kind that made her get beaten, but it's made of velvet. I don't know whether she likes dark or light colors, so I bought a bright red one. Bring all the pink ones here. "It was this afternoon. I went to see Changfu right after I finished my meal. I delayed a day because of this. His home is still there, but it looks a little dark, but I'm afraid it's just my own feeling. .His son and second daughter—Azhao, both stood at the door, growing up. Azhao didn’t look like her sister at all, she looked like a ghost, but when she saw me walking towards her house, she ran away Go into the house. I asked the boy, knowing that Chang Fu was not at home. Where is your eldest sister? He immediately opened his eyes and asked me why I was looking for her, and seemed to be vicious and about to pounce on me and bite me. I I faltered and retreated, I am now perfunctory... "You don't know, I'm more afraid of visiting people than before. Because I already know how much I hate, even I hate myself, so why should I knowingly make people secretly unhappy? But this time I have to do it It's done, so after thinking about it, I finally returned to the firewood shop diagonally opposite the door. The owner's mother, Grandma Laofa, is still there, and she still knows me, so she invited me to sit in the shop Yes. After we exchanged a few pleasantries, I explained the reason for returning to S City and finding Changfu. Unexpectedly, she sighed and said: "It's a pity that Aunt Shun is not lucky enough to wear this cut velvet flower. "So she told me in detail, saying that since last spring, she had been thin and yellow, and then she would cry often, and she would not tell her why; I kept getting angry and scolded her for being old and going crazy. But at the beginning of autumn, she had a slight cold at first, and finally lay down, and couldn't get up since then. Only a few days before her death, she was willing to tell Chang Fu that she Just like her mother, she vomited red and sweated at night from time to time. But she kept it a secret, lest he would worry about it. One night, her uncle Chang Geng came to borrow money again——this is a common thing—— When she refused, Chang Geng sneered and said: Don't be arrogant, your man is worse than me! She has been worried since then, and she was ashamed, so she couldn't ask, so she had to cry. Chang Fu hurriedly told how her man earned money. How could it be too late to tell her the angry words? Besides, she didn't believe it, and instead said: Fortunately, I am already like this, so it doesn't matter. "She also said that if her man is really inferior to Chang Geng, it would be terrible! If he is not as good as a chicken thief, what is that? But when he came to deliver the coffin, I saw him with my own eyes. He was very clean, and he was a decent person. He even said tearfully that he had spent half his life on a boat, saved up money to hire a woman, and died again. It can be seen that he is really a good person. Chang Geng said all about it. It's a pity that Gu Shun would believe such a slanderous lie and lose her life for nothing. ——But I can't blame anyone, I can only blame Gu Shun for not having such a good fortune. "That's all right, my business is over again. But what about the two velvet flowers I brought with me? Well, I asked her to send A Zhao. As soon as A Zhao saw me, he ran away and probably regarded me as a A wolf or something, I really don’t want to send her off.——But I will give her off, and I just need to say to my mother that Ah Shun likes it when he sees it. What are these boring things? .After the New Year in a daze, I still teach my Ziri Shiyun to go." "Are you teaching Ziri Shiyun?" I felt strange and asked. "Naturally. Do you still think that what is taught is ABCD? I was two students first, one read "Mencius" and the other read "Mencius". Recently I added another one, a woman, who read "Naughty Girls". I don't even teach arithmetic, it's not me Don't teach, they don't teach." "I really didn't expect you to teach such books, . . . " "Their old man wants them to read this, and I'm someone else, so I can do nothing about it. What's all this nonsense? Just do whatever you want..." His face was already flushed, and he seemed to be a little drunk, but his eyes were depressed again.I sighed slightly and had nothing to say for a while.There was a commotion on the stairs, and several drinkers crowded up: the first was a short man with a round, swollen face; the second was long, with a red nose conspicuously showing on his face; Even walking down the small building trembled.I looked at Lu Weifu in a blink of an eye, and he was looking at me in a blink of an eye, so I asked the waiter to settle the bill. "Can you still support your life with this?" I asked as I prepared to leave. "Yes.—I have twenty dollars a month, and I can't quite get by." "So, what are you going to do in the future?" "In the future?——I don't know. Do you think that what we planned at that time has a good result? I don't know anything now, I don't even know what will happen tomorrow, and even the last minute..." The waiter brought the bill and handed it to me; he was no longer as humble as when he first arrived, he just glanced at me, then smoked, and let me pay the bill. We walked out of the store together. The hotel where he lived was in the opposite direction to mine, and we parted at the door.I walked towards my hotel alone, feeling refreshed as the cold wind and snow flakes hit my face.Seeing that the sky is already dusk, the houses and streets are all woven in the pure white and uncertain net of dense snow. February 16, 1924 Originally published on May 10, 1924, "Novel Monthly", Volume 15, No. 5 ()