Chapter 4 4. Obscenity

Fuji's parents sent him to Hongren's Dongshan Temple instead of sending him to the Tang Dynasty army on the expedition to Gaogouli five years ago. Buer's common surname is Liu, and his family has been officials for generations, and there is no boy who does not catch the seal. Those who did not catch the seal were secretly killed or given away.After being an official for several generations, the family has so much money that they can't spend it all in three lifetimes.Buer's grandfather was the great eunuch of the dynasty.Grandpa Fuji's officials were not considered big in the history of the Liu family, but they had the greatest influence. They could influence the Tang Empire's decision to abolish concubines, appoint and dismiss key personnel, and pay taxes for wars.Emperor Li Zhi said that he has a clear mind, a strong penis in his heart, no penis in his crotch, no desire, responsibility, no struggle in official career, very neutral, no selfishness, no clique for personal gain, and no belief in Buddhism at all, so there is no other place good to go.In short, such a person is too difficult to find, and Li Zhi trusts him very much.

The unique grandfather Zao Hui, before he can speak, he listened to the guzheng song Gaoshan Liushui, and his crying after that was all fragments of Gaoshan Liushui.Early development, the penis is always longer than the legs until the first year of age.During Catch Zhou, Buer’s grandfather wore a red suit, embroidered with vines and folded lotuses. It is said that it was embroidered in the Han Dynasty and has been passed down for many generations.Grandpa Buer didn't grab the things on the carpet, crawled, jumped, and pulled the official seal pinned to his waist by Grandpa Buer.Grandfather Buer drank a lot that night, and after drinking too much, he wrote two poems of Qijue. On the white wall of his yard, there were four words in the drunk book: Sorrow and joy intertwined.

In the fall when Grandpa Fu Er was ten years old, Grandpa Grandpa decided to send him to the palace. The supporting analysis that assisted this decision was thicker than "Three Kingdoms". , the power imbalance of Shangshu Province, the rise of low-level civil servants in Jixianyuan and Hanlinyuan, and the eunuchs as the closest group to the emperor.The document even predicts that in the next two thousand years, one out of every three emperors will be murdered by eunuchs, and the Liu family will be involved in more than half of them.This document was safely hidden under the ancestral hall, along with a tooth relic of the Buddha.

At that time, Bu Er's grandfather didn't fully understand the purpose of the dick. Before entering the palace, he asked Bu Er's grandpa: "After entering the palace, how has my life changed?" "Outside the palace, no matter how old you are, when you see a beautiful woman, you will be full of desire. You want to grab her, ravage her, show her your dick, let her touch it, let her feel it up, Let her suck, make her suck hard, and then mess her up, and then you will be disappointed, and feel that life is nothing, men and women, fiddle with it for a long time, wailing a few times, what is the meaning of dick? But, again A few days later you want to show her your cock again, let her touch it, make her feel it hard, let her suck it, make her suck it hard, and fuck her. This thing Son, as long as the dick is there, people basically can't understand it, just like a bird has wings, and basically don't understand why it flies. But outside the palace, you can't see too many beauties, because the first-class beauties should be in the palace In the palace, all the good things in the world should be in the palace. In the palace, you can see countless beauties, but you have been cut clean, and you have no desires. You want to clean everything up, from the heart In your heart, all you think about is self-cultivation, family harmony, state governance, and world peace, the world, the world, and only the world.”

Bu Er's grandpa didn't understand all of them. The ass words that grandpa said seemed inconsistent, and grandpa had a tendency to think about things many years after his death.His simple understanding is that after entering the palace, he no longer reacts when he sees a beautiful woman, so what he wants to do now when he sees a beautiful woman, whether it is pinching her face or throwing a dead bird into her collar or If you mess her up, you should do something right away, otherwise it will be too late. The moon was very round that night, surpassing all the candlelight, and many dogs barked wildly, so that tears flowed from the corners of their eyes and mouths.Uncle Fuji is a historian who is proficient in astronomy. According to his calculations, the moon that day was the roundest in thirty-two years. At this time, the old man thinks about the past hundred years, and the child dreams about the next hundred years.That night, Buer's grandfather met Buer's grandma, who was strolling by the river. It turned out that her mother often strolled by the river.Bu Er's grandfather didn't know where she was, how old she was, or what her name was. He saw a white dog riding another white dog from behind under a tree not far away, and took the white dog underneath. The dog made a mess and then the white dog above sighed and he sighed too, it was the first sigh in his life, his crotch was hot and he didn't want to lose the dead bird or just pinch Pinch Buer Grandma's face.Grandpa Fuji suddenly became very powerful, ran over, threw Grandma Fuji down, twisted her arm, turned around, leaned against a tree, and rode up from behind like a white dog, messing up Grandma Fuji , and sighed.

After Fuji's grandfather entered the palace, through the arrangement of Fuji's family, Fuji's grandmother was taken to Fuji's family and gave birth to Fuji's father.After Fuji's grandfather became the chief eunuch, this incident was changed into that Fuji's grandfather and Fuji's grandmother were born on the same day in the same year. After the palace, she made up her mind not to marry him, and took the peach blossoms, bamboo horses, Qiongju, and papaya from Grandpa Buer, and became pregnant with Buer's father.This incident is referred to as ectopic pregnancy for short. There are unofficial history to compare it with the talking jade fish dug out of Mount Tai and the clam hiding the statue of Bodhisattva caught in the South China Sea. They are also called Renrui, Shanrui and Hairui. auspicious.

After Fuer's father became an adult, he soon entered into an official career. He moved left and right to positions that were inconspicuous but had real power. He was in charge of education, medical care, copper mines, and liquor.Three sons were born, each embodying the power of auspiciousness.Brother Fuji's penis is huge, and when it is soft, it can be used as a belt around the waist, so you don't need to carry a self-defense weapon when you go out.Brother Fuji's testicles are huge, his knees are bent when he walks habitually, and the lumbar intervertebral discs protrude due to the strain of the weight bearing early on.The only thing that looks normal is Fu Er, the penis is not big, the testicles are not big, even smaller than normal.But Fuji's brain seems to have inherited the mantle of grandpa. From the beginning of sensibility, when he saw all the upright things, he thought of erection, and then he erected himself, such as poles, trees, flagpoles, chopsticks, hairpins, stupas, rolling pins, etc., seeing everything Open things remind of vulva, and then erect themselves, caves, city gates, women's mouths or ears or nostrils or eyes or gaps in women's hair buns, etc.

After several secret talks between Fuji's father and Fuji's grandfather, Fuji's father cut off Fuji's penis and let him start his grandfather's life as a eunuch to supplement his strength. Grandpa is getting older and more Well-developed, energy, time, and status don't allow him to know many low-level details.What Grandpa Bu Er heard was all pleasant words, what others thought he wanted to hear, most of them were lies, empty words, and nonsense. talk.How can we beat everyone to death?How can there be so much wine?How to make the right decision if you can't hear the truth?

Fuji's father cut off one of Fuji's second brother's testicles, allowing him to take the civil service path of the imperial examination just like himself.Fuji's father could have asked Fuji's second brother to take a more direct path, such as directly following the hereditary path often followed by Guanlong noble families. Anyway, the eldest son has already entered the palace, such as entrusting someone to enter the Yantie Division or Du Zhisi, who manages the finances of the north, but Fuji's father clearly realized that if you look at the proportions, young bureaucrats born in the imperial examinations have bigger dicks, stronger ambitions, more lush pubes and poetic talents. The future of the Tang Dynasty.

Fuji's father hired the strictest private school teacher to educate him.The Four Books, the Five Classics, the First Four Histories, the Kucha language, Sanskrit, and the new translation of the Diamond Sutra, all clean your mind. "If you can't recite it or recite it wrong, I will beat you. I was a sadist when I was a child. I beat my father to death. I beat my mother to death. I am still a pedophile, and I am still a pedophile." Mr. Private School said. "Sir, the word 'puff' is too lewd, will it be red and swollen? Will it be hot and painful?" "I can't beat you to death! I can't beat you softly!" Mr. Private School gave him a good beating.Seeing Mr.'s whip thinks of a penis, and seeing the half-bloomed peach blossoms in the yard reminds her of a vulva, small, tight, and pink, she pulls herself apart and opens toward the sun, so she gets an erection.

It was a huge erection, more ferocious than the rockery in the study.Fuji smiled wryly at Mr. Private School, and said, Sir, I am a passive person, what can I do?What does it have to do with me? Mr. Private School talked with Fuji's father, and Fuji's intelligence is different from his two elder brothers.Mr. Private School said: "Buer is slow in reading, slower than his two elder brothers. But he uses his heart and brain. He reads like killing people. After reading it, he says, it's nothing more than that. There are no heroes in the world. Li Zi became famous. After that , His knowledge is indeed higher than the knowledge in these books. Let Buer endorse, he is far inferior to his two brothers, often fail to recite or recite wrongly. But, give him a poem that he has not read, cover He can always fill in a few words, and often fills in better than the original poem. I think your family has accumulated virtue and produced demons and sages. Four books, five classics, the first four histories, Kucha language, Sanskrit, and the new translation of King Kong You don't have enough energy to wash the dick out of his mind, you have to think of other ways." Fuji is very grateful to his eldest brother and second brother.There is a spinner on the top of the eldest brother's head, horizontal. There are two spinners on the top of the second brother's head.The big brother's attack has taken over his father's beating.The eldest brother was beaten and scolded, you beat me again, beat me again, believe it or not, if you beat me again, I will be your father?The twist of the second brother, he explored all the things that Buer wanted to explore first, and he persevered. In the beginning, the second brother challenged the wine, stole the wine and the luminous glass from his father, took a big sip, then fell down, used the luminous glass as a chamber pot, urinated, and then vomited again, vomited wine and rice.Bu Er dragged the second brother to the bed, kicked his crotch, and kicked his lower abdomen, and no more urine came out. Don't worry, drink the rest of the wine slowly.After drinking seven cups, the luminous cup began to flicker, and Buer walked out of the house with the cup in his hand, and the little stars outside the house flickered, so he sat in the luminous cup and said, come down and smash me to death.Later, the second brother tried sex.Dad endured it for many years, and finally recruited a sixth room, with beautiful legs and waist.Dad is old, and he has experience in the first five houses, so he knows how to let him come twice and come again.So my dad was basically handicapped when he got four bedrooms and five bedrooms.Dad is not stupid. Finally, one time, when there were three menstruation in the middle of the first five rooms, he drank deer blood, went up to the sixth room, opened the curtain, saw the calf and waist, and was disabled again.The second brother carried Dad back and saw the calf, wondering why Dad was disabled again.The second elder brother found a free time to watch alone, and the sixth room said, come in and watch.Later, the second brother said to Fuji, you must watch it, even though it is nothing to watch.Don't ask the second brother, what did you see?The second brother said that she pressed my head down. When I looked up, my eyes were full of water, and my thighs were on both sides. I couldn't see anything.Neither the eldest brother nor the second brother knew what Buer saw afterwards. When Dad sent him to the temple, the eldest brother and the second brother saw that Liufang pulled out the golden hairpin from his hair and poked it into the flesh in his waist. Buer has three spins.Three spinners, don't die. Fuji's father said: "Sir, didn't you say that there was a monk who came here last time? Ordinary families can't support them, why don't you follow me to practice Buddhism, and you will be able to promote Buddhism. Is there such a thing?" Mr. Private School said: "Master, do you believe this? I told him at the time, fuck your mother, fuck your father, fuck your family's eighth generation of ancestors and others. He said a lot of vicious words against you and your family, Because he didn't know who I was, I didn't tell him, and then left. After a while, he was arrested by the government, and before he was beaten, he recruited, saying that he was sent by the Turks, using religion, to find me Some boys who can speak Chinese go to Turkic, and after training, they will be sent back to Han. He said to all the parents of the children, this child is so strange that no ordinary family can raise it, why not follow me to practice Buddhism .When he was caught, he had twenty-four boys in their teens." Fuji's father said: "Next time you meet such monks, before you fuck their whole family, you tell them that your surname is Cai and that your ancestral grave is in Langyatai, Qingzhou." On a cold winter night, Fuji smelled the smell of meat and powder coming from the front yard. All the family members said that the singing girls in the front yard were beautiful and basically had no clothes on their upper body. The world, said he has not read through.Snowflakes fell like cotton jackets, and Bu Er's heart swelled. He wrote a poem and presented it to his elder brother and second brother: "A thousand mountains and birds are flying, Thousands of people disappeared. Lonely boat and hat man, Fishing for cold river snow alone. " The eldest brother in the palace thinks that the two cunts, the Tang Dynasty is too big, not a thousand mountains, but ten thousand mountains, not ten thousand people, but a million people, a population of fifty million, and more than ten thousand bureaucrats. , My day, I have no time to write poetry, no time to listen to poetry.The second elder brother who is an official thinks it is very Zen. If there is no bird, what will happen to the dick?If there are no people in the world, what will happen to the earth?Just me, me, me, me, me, me.It is not to say that he just entrusted his yearning for the old scenery of his two brothers.If you write straightforwardly, what you want to express is: "Four Books, Five Classics, First Four Histories, Kucha, Sanskrit, and the new translation of the Diamond Sutra. Even if all dicks are scared to death, even if all cunts are scared We have to close the door, we are not scared, I can still take a small boat, a bamboo hat, sit on the second brother's testicles, hold the eldest brother's penis, I am one person, I am everyone, I am us, we are a trinity , fuck the sky, fuck the earth." When Fuji's father heard this, he pondered for a long time and decided that he had to send Fuji to the army or a monastery. The imperial court is stepping up arrangements for the war against Gao Gouli. Li Yuan, Li Shimin, and Li Zhi always regarded Gao Gouli as a greater threat than Tubo, Xiongnu, and Ryukyu.Gao Gouli imitated the Han system, unlike Tubo and the Huns, who robbed some food, horses and money, burned some houses, fucked some Han cunts, and went home happily. What Gao Gouli wanted was the entire country of the Han people.After Gao Gouli adopted the Han system, she slowly found out that all Northeast China, including Youzhou, Yingzhou, Shengzhou, Fengzhou, Daizhou, Xiazhou, Lingzhou, Liangzhou, and Bingzhou, was Gaogou a long time ago. Li, in every place, if you dig three feet from the ground, you can dig out the arrowheads produced by Gaogouli. Even Qizhou, Xuzhou, Xiangzhou, Luzhou, Yuanzhou, Qinzhou, and Lanzhou, if you can dig carefully, you can also find arrowheads. It has been verified that it was originally the land of Gaogouli. Everywhere, there are women who look like Gaogouli women. In fact, Chi You, Emperor Yan, and Houyi are all from Gaogouli.Later, Gao Gouli verified that the Han system they adopted was Gao Gouli's, not the Han system, but the Gao Gouli system, it was not that they adopted the Han system, but the Han system adopted the Gao Gouli system, Li Yuan and Li Shimin and Li Zhi are also descendants of Gaogouli people.Ryukyu also imitates the Chinese system, but after all, it is across the sea. If you really can’t hold back the impulse to call, you will vomit first at sea, and half of them will die. After the first three days after landing, you will starve and die, and the other half will die.The Gaogouli people are more popular than the Tubo people and the Huns. Similar to the Ryukyu people, their brains are easily overwhelmed by temper. Severing fingers, disemboweling, eating captives, eating oneself, completely indifferent to life and death, and not treating oneself as a human being.In the past hundred years, the Han region has fought many wars against Gaogouli.On several occasions, there were too many soldiers and little food. In Liaodong, the weather turned cold and I was too hungry to run, so I became the target of Gao Gouli's archers.There were also a few times when the soldiers were few and the food was too much, and they were ambushed and became the ones who delivered food to Gao Gouli. In the discussions among historians of the early Tang Dynasty, there was an argument that the Tang Dynasty took advantage of Gao Gouli’s foreign aggression, otherwise the Great Sui Dynasty would not have perished so quickly. Long nobles, isn't it the same in the Tang Dynasty?Li Shimin said, your mother's cunt, your mother's eyes, your mother wears flowery underpants, don't you historians feel ashamed?If you don't cut your dick, you always want to fuck, if you don't write "Historical Records", you can't calm down, and you can't write serious stuff?I want you to see that I killed Gao Gouli, and I want to see if anyone else took advantage of me to kill Gao Gouli. I want you to know that the Li Dynasty was created by God, the people Pray and live. Li Shimin was overwhelmed by his temper and conquered Gao Gouli, but he was defeated and was shot in the navel, and died soon after.The latest secret report is that there will be civil strife in Gaogouli. Li Zhi carefully arranges the troops and horses, determined to avenge his father. The advantage of sending Buer to the army is that as long as he comes back safely, he will be credited with his grandfather's arrangement.If he wins, all the merits of the dead are his; if he loses, all the mistakes are the dead's.However, my mother said, your mother, do swords and guns have eyes?Of my three sons, one has no gun and the other has no ball. I want a complete one. Buer's father finally decided to entrust his relationship to give Buer to Master Feng Mushan Hongren.There are rumors in the rivers and lakes that when Master Hongren was young, he was also the size of a chicken egg and suffered from congenital lust. He was taken in by Daoxin, the fourth ancestor of Zen Buddhism. Twenty years later, he was cured and became a Buddha.Zen Buddhism has also cured many other similar cases, and has a good reputation in the treatment of congenital and intractable lust. After Buer entered Dongshan Temple, the song "Fishing Snow in the Cold River Alone" was given his own name by Buer's second brother.Bu Er's second brother gave ten taels of silver to each of the 30 most important teaching workshop mothers in Chang'an City, and asked them to force every sister in the teaching workshop to recite it, and those who couldn't recite it would be fined to give oral sex to customers.Bu Er's second brother gave ten taels of silver to each of the 30 largest restaurant owners in Chang'an City, and asked them to hang his "Fishing alone in the cold river and snow" in the most conspicuous position in the tavern. Half a year later, "fishing alone in the cold river and snow" spread throughout the major cities in the Tang Dynasty. Once someone feels a strong loneliness in his heart and a bully that is not recognized by society, he opens the window and unbuttons his crotch. Whether he sees the river or the snow, the first thing to sing is this poem. These urban bullies who thought they were not recognized by society accounted for nearly one percent of the population of 50 million in the early years of the Tang Dynasty, that is, 500,000 people.