Chapter 45 Section 3

After Chuanzhi got off work, he went out to eat something, then went to see He Lin at his father-in-law's house, stayed as long as he could, it didn't matter if she ignored him or her family ignored him, and then went home to sleep.He is unswervingly carrying out this "polishing" route of grinding iron rods into embroidery needles. Whether it's rascal or scoundrel, as long as you don't give up, it's up to you to scold and criticize, and give you a chance to vent every day, as long as you let Lu show his face The atmosphere is fine if it is not cold.How should I put it, let's treat it as a new pursuit of the He family's daughter.After a long time, can you hit the smiling face with your hand?

Later, the young man saw that the progress was too slow, and he had learned the history of revolution well, so he had the idea of ​​defeating each other. Comparing the three members of the Yue family, the younger sister of the mother-in-law was a die-hard opponent, so he didn’t even think about it; Influence, plus the titles of professor and doctor are too famous, knowledgeable women are always awe-inspiring, and it is not easy to deal with; also, father-in-law Lao He is approachable, neither arrogant nor stubborn, and may have worked in a property company for many years For the sake of it, he communicates well with people and is reasonable.

Chuanzhi then added another route, going to his father-in-law's company to pick him up from get off work.Doesn’t my father-in-law own an old Jetta, so he sticks to the passenger seat; when his father-in-law goes to the vegetable market, he volunteers to carry it and pay the bill if he has the chance, but he doesn’t talk much, and follows like a bodyguard.After a long time, Lao He couldn't take it anymore. It's not a solution for this son-in-law to follow behind like a fart every night!So Lao He proposed: on weekends, everyone get together, talk freely, and talk about everything you have to say.

Everyone participated that day except He Chong who was in school.He Lin was forcibly dragged out by her mother to take a seat, with her parents and aunt with a bad face on both sides.The opposite position is Chuanzhi.Biography is like sitting on the judgment seat. "Let's talk about it. Procrastination is not an option. What are you going to do?" Old He's first sentence. "I want a divorce!" He Lin said firmly. "I don't agree!" Chuanzhi was also firm. The mother-in-law said: "Then you will always be noisy like this from now on. He Lin is either crying or running back with a bruised nose and a swollen face? How long have you been married? There have been two times!"

"Mom—" Chuanzhi called his mother-in-law grandly for the first time. He used to call him Teacher Yu, "I promise, it won't happen again..." "Can dogs be changed to eat shit?" Yu Huaqing snorted coldly, without concealing his contemptuous eyes, "How much is your guarantee worth? How about your guarantee for the first half of the year? What do you say when your mother's edict arrives? You mean what you say." Or does your mother mean what she says? Don’t say such big words if you are not so big! Ordinarily, you are not qualified to sit here and talk to us, let your mother come, let your mother talk to us on your behalf!"

Chuanzhi's face turned blue and red. Although Lao He felt that his sister-in-law's words were too stimulating, he still reminded him gently: "Chuanzhi, you are in your twenties and have your own family. Although filial piety is the most filial, you are too filial gone." Chuanzhi nodded again and again, "Yes, yes, sometimes I am a little confused, my mother is old, she loves nagging, and she is also a little confused..." "I don't think your mother is stupid, I just think you have a head full of sauce soup, your mother is so stupid, she is smarter than that thousand-year-old vixen, one son has a good life, and the other sons have not. Of course, come forward to share the wealth and communism. Otherwise, how uncomfortable it is! The problem is that you also agree with your mother's idea of ​​'sharing' your 'birth'. Your mother asked you to provide for your brother's education and you don't say anything. Your brother is not an adult? Your brother is an orphan without parents Huh? Whoever bears the responsibility is responsible for the childbirth. What are you doing if you can’t afford to support so many children? Let others tighten their belts and bring you a son? Besides, your younger brother can’t get a loan because he went to a third-rate university? He can’t do odd jobs by himself. To support yourself? You lend it to him without interest, and he borrows it from the bank without interest. Why do you think it is more economical to deduct two or three hundred from your monthly salary of several hundred yuan to drag you down than to get it from the bank? Yes It's not that I don't plan to pay back in the future..."

"No...that's not what it means...he will pay back after he works..." Chuanzhi explained in a low voice. "The problem is not repayment. Why didn't he go to the bank to borrow money like other poor students?" Chuanzhi made up his mind, "...After the Spring Festival, let him take out a loan!" "Okay, let's talk about the second question. Your sister-in-law is pregnant. Why do you stay here for food and lodging? Does your sister-in-law have no man? Does your unborn nephew have no father?" That's bad enough.Chuanzhi's face was blue and white, and he explained bravely: "My hometown is strict in family planning."

"It's not fucking tighter in Beijing! Your hometown is so tight that you just demolished your poor houses, and even your life's job here has been smashed for you. What's more important? People who know think it's your sister-in-law, but don't know I thought it was your illegitimate child! Little boy, today you are still going to work seriously, and you are lucky and lucky!" "I... have sent them away..." "Third, is the salary you earn your own or is it the joint property of you and He Lin? Have you signed an agreement that each earns and each spends?"

"No, I share it with He Lin." "Since it is shared, where did all the salary you earn this year go? The salary of civil servants is only part of it, and what about the monthly bonus? Why doesn't He Lin know?" At this time, He Lin also raised her head stubbornly, feeling that this little aunt is simply too powerful, and she speaks to the point in every sentence, which is much better than her own parents who are knowledgeable, unpredictable and serious, and they will overwhelm each other at once. If you cover it up, you are on trial! "The main reason is that I earn too little, and the bonus is a little bit, so pitifully small... The first year is an internship..."

"It's not a question of more money and less money, it's where the money goes!" Chuanzhi was silent. "In a family, as long as the whereabouts of the money is unknown, it is a big deal. Do you think that it is right to spend all the money you earn to honor your mother's family? What is the purpose of your marriage and family? There are many people and strength, and you Let's be filial to your mother together, and help your brothers and sisters out of poverty and out of the countryside through exhausting work together..." Chuanzhi burst into tears, and even trembled a little, "Life in the countryside is too hard, you can't understand it in the city..."

Old He and his wife were a little surprised, but Yu Huaqing didn't like this, and continued to sarcasm: "Then you are looking for us He Lin because we have a little money and have a ready-made house to live in, so it will be more convenient for you to help you honor your family?" Chuanzhi became a little annoyed, "This is a matter between me and He Lin!" "Your family, your mother, your sister, your sister-in-law, your brother, and your nephew who were not born were all involved. How did it become the matter of the two of you when you ignored it? Now it is the matter of the two families! Boy , you don’t have to jump with me, how many roundworms you have in your stomach, others can’t figure out my wife, I still don’t know? You give your brother money, it’s you doing your mother’s duty to support your mother, so it’s okay for you to support your sister-in-law and nephew Your brother's favor, I also know that before the favor is over, you are the cash cow of your mother's family! Are you and He Lin a family? No, you and your mother's brother are a family, what are you looking for? Lin is co-building your home, and by the way, she solved some physical problems and gained a foothold in Beijing. She is just someone who shares your sufferings, and your family is qualified to share your joys and sorrows! Marriage, a paper marriage is worthless, today Husband and wife are beneficial, and if they are useless tomorrow, they will be passers-by, and you and your natal brothers and sisters are blood thicker than water! Otherwise, you can’t imagine that when the critical moment comes, you will follow your mother’s wishes and beat your daughter-in-law to the hospital and return to her natal home! You You are a farmer. Although you have worked so hard to go to university in Beijing and get a job as a national civil servant, you are still a farmer at heart! You still live according to rural thinking, and you still need to get used to it. He Lin, who lives in Beijing, adapts to your rural thinking. Now people all over the country know that big cities like Beijing and Shanghai represent advanced lifestyles and humanistic care. Why can’t you take off your shackles and rusticity to adapt to urban lifestyles? Do you have to go back and learn? In the current reform and opening up environment, what do you think is the reform? You think it is more advanced that the seven aunts and eight aunts in your hometown gnaw at one person to make a fortune. I have nothing to say, but one word of advice: leave Who can guarantee that the current couple will grow old together? Keeping their own interests is the main thing. The family is not right, that is, the concept of life and living habits are difficult to adjust, and the ideas are too different, and it will not be bridged for the rest of your life! I advise you to go back to your hometown to marry A daughter-in-law who waits for your mother at home every day, and can be a cow and a horse for your family and can see your face—oh, who’s girl is so unlucky! Even your sister knows that she will run out when she is angry at her in-law’s house!" At the end , and added, "Hmph, there are all kinds of wonders in the world, and it's hard to find a family like yours!" Chuanzhi buried his head very low.The accusations are all on the face, what can I say? "As an adult, you have some problems with your life values, and you still haven't adapted to city life." The mother-in-law finally spoke, "I'm not ready for married life either." "Let me just say, it's best for him to be single for the rest of his life, and the disaster won't hurt others. He will give the money he earns to his mother like a treasure, and his mother will use it to redistribute it to help those children who are not doing well. The first-milk compatriots, right? Brotherly love, helping each other is the right thing to do. They all think so. I also said that when his wife gets old, it’s still a son’s business. Relying on it is a habit, and you pay for it. I have grown accustomed to things, and it is not a matter of course to live here for the elderly! Don’t worry, you will live until you are old, noisy, old and beaten! Why don’t you understand that there is a kind of people in the world who can’t get together even if they are killed, that is to say Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law!" He Zhongtian said: "In the future, your mother really won't be able to come and stay for a long time. There are many things. Fighting for two days and being violent for three days is really not a big deal!" Chuanzhi: "Come less in the future, definitely less!" "It's fine for your mother to come, you can earn at least three to five hundred thousand a year, and spend one hundred and eighty thousand a year to buy a house for your mother. If you are filial to anyone, you won't say anything, just rely on the current three melons a month. Jujube, you can’t even eat enough and still want to be a filial son in your family? You have the capital to want to be a filial son. You don’t take things from your daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law’s natal family to make up for it. Do you take the whole family to eat with confidence?" Lao He felt that "eating soft food" was a bit too much, and hurriedly looked back, "Chuanzhi is for face." "Face? Face is earned by yourself, not given by others. It is given by others because of affection. If you don't give it, there is nothing wrong with it!" "That's his mother making trouble for no reason..." "When people are old, it is inevitable to rely on the old and sell the old. What is an old child? An old child has a degenerated brain, and sometimes behaves like a child. At this time, an adult son is obliged to teach these old children to be reasonable and obey the rules, just like you Your parents taught you like that when you were young! Don’t you know that people have to adapt to the social situation when they are old? Why do young people have to listen to them? It’s obviously wrong, but they also listen? Old people don’t know how to behave, that is, young people guide them A failure of education, a muddleheaded fool!" Chuanzhi suddenly stood up and bowed deeply, "Mom and Dad, I know I didn't do well, I'm sorry He Lin, I made her suffer...I want to be alone for a while..." The son-in-law of the He family turned around and went out.The door closed softly. Lao He looked at his sister-in-law, "Didn't those cruel words stimulate him?" Yu Huaqing curled his lips, "You have to let him understand some truths, and they are not taught in universities, so if you let him understand it alone, he will never be able to understand it for a lifetime!" Yu Huaming was not without worry: "This kid has a lot of self-esteem, so he won't be overthinking it, right?" "Hey, can't you think about it?! If you can't think about it, what about his mother, brothers and sisters and the whole family? It's better to live than to die for this biography! I dare to make this bet. I know this kind of person too well, and I'm afraid of death Fear of losing face, poverty, and embarrassment, the rankings are in no particular order. I think this marriage can be kept or not. If you can transform this kind of elm bumpy head, you won't have half a lifetime of hard work. I am afraid that the transformation will not be good. What does the forty-year-old Chuanzhi want? What is there, what else can He Lin at the age of forty have? Look at people and things and take a long-term perspective, don’t make it so difficult that you pick up sesame seeds and lose watermelons, like me!" Old He muttered, "You are amazing, He Lin is not capable of this." Yu Huaming sighed, "We are just referring to whether we can't leave. He Linna is the master. We have to respect her opinion. After all, they live their lives, and we shouldn't do it for them. We can analyze the stakes of the matter clearly, and that's it." So this family coordination meeting, which was transformed by Yu Huaqing himself into a "criticism meeting", ended hastily with the hero's departure halfway.As a professor of sociology, Yu Huaming began to look at the different opposites of Chinese social groups from a finer microscopic perspective, especially the ethnic values ​​based on blood lineage in rural areas.In the last class of the Spring Festival in 2005, Professor Yu gave students in two classes a simple test. The first three questions were: Father, mother, brother, wife, daughter, sister, son, yourself. 1. Which of the above-mentioned people do you think is the most important in your life? Please sort them one by one. 2. If one of them lied, who do you think is the most innocent among the above-mentioned people?Please sort. 3. When you are forty years old, your nuclear family members will be: There are about ten questions in total, with themes such as family, money, future and interpersonal relationships.The students were between the ages of eighteen and twenty-three, with 47 percent from urban backgrounds and 53 percent from rural backgrounds; 58 percent boys and 100 percent girls Forty-two. The first question, basically ninety-five percent of the boys are sorted in this way: mother, self, son, father, daughter, brother, sister, wife.Excluding that many of them are only children now, they have become like this again: mother, self, son, father, daughter, wife. Ninety percent of girls order: mother, father, themselves, son, daughter, husband, brother, sister.Excluding that many of them are only children now, they have become like this again: mother, father, myself, son, daughter, husband. The second question is in the boys' answers, sorted by everyone's votes: mother, daughter, son, father, wife. In girls' answers, sort by votes: daughter, son, mother, father, husband. The third question, the core family members of a boy in his 40s in the future are (in no particular order): himself, son or daughter, parents, wife.Among them, 90% of the boys put their parents inside. The mainstream nuclear family members of girls aged 40 in the future are: son or daughter, themselves, and husband; only 8% of them list their parents in the middle.