Chapter 3 Chapter Two Why Am I Poor?

I think my poverty is a gradual process, which has something to do with my upbringing. I was born in a remote rural area in 1975. I have three older sisters and a younger brother who is four years younger than me. I went to a technical secondary school, and I was considered the only educated person in my family, because all three older sisters only went to elementary school, and my younger brother only went to high school for one year. After graduating from technical secondary school, I entered a state-owned enterprise to work.The next year, the company went bankrupt, and I suddenly became a homeless person. From then on, I started my working career.

I feel like I'm only working half the time and looking for a job the other half. I was also poor then, but because I was young, I still had hope for the future and always felt like a late bloomer. In 1997, I came to City C. I first worked in a mechanical and electronic company. After several transitions, I successfully entered a listed company three years later and served as the general manager of a branch of the company. This is the best position in my part-time job career, but the income is mediocre. It claims to have an annual salary of 80,000 yuan. In fact, after one year, I only saved more than 20,000 yuan.One is that I spend generously, and on the other hand, many expenses are not reimbursed by the company.

During more than a year in the listed company, I found a girlfriend who was introduced by one of my subordinates.Shortly after I resigned from the company, I married her with my small savings. Her name is Zhou Yuan, she is four years younger than me, she is an only daughter in the city, and her family conditions are not bad, which makes her a bit pampered and domineering, but no matter what she does or what she says, she always misses the point, for example, she originally said Things in the east may be brought to the west after a few sentences. When I first got married, I sneered at her flaws, and even had the idea of ​​reforming her, but as my situation declined day by day, I gradually lost the confidence to challenge her.

My decline began in 2002, when I just left the listed company. I feel confident that a junior technical secondary school student can be the head of a branch of a listed company.At the same time, the significance of this position to me in the future is that when I cannot find a similar job, I will miss this position very much and feel very disappointed. Everyone hopes to do better and better, but no one stipulates that the latter position must be better than the former one. After I got out of a listed company, I found several jobs one after another, but none of them were comparable to my job in a listed company. I felt that my price was a bit low and I felt very humiliated.

Therefore, I would rather not go to work than to be inferior to others, which is a bit hypocritical. On the one hand, I couldn't find the job I wanted, and on the other hand, I didn't want to wrong myself, so my confidence was slowly worn away while waiting. When I finally couldn't help lowering my requirements, I realized that it was hard to find even a second job, so I had to keep waiting. It's a vicious circle.In the end, I inevitably went downhill, down to poverty. Therefore, a person's bad luck is not caused by how unfair his fate is, but mostly because he is dissatisfied with the gap between ideals and reality and gives up on himself.

As of now, I have despaired of finding a good job, like the frog at the bottom of the pot, which has been boiled to death. When people are at their lowest point, there is always a lot of resentment in their hearts. So I dislike everyone and feel that no one is sorry for me, so I don't contact anyone and wrap myself tightly.I have built a thick wall around myself, which is completely my own world. I became a loner, I didn't care about others, and no one cared about me. I was silent every day and lived like air.