Chapter 4 Section 4

There was the sound of the thermostat starting from the kitchen, and a tempting aroma wafted out.Zhe Lang remembered that the switch of the coffee machine was still on, and got up from the sofa. Mizuki and Sugai fell silent.Mizuki was probably waiting for the two to react to her confession, but Sugai didn't know how to respond. Zhe Lang poured the coffee into two mugs and coffee cups, and brought the cups to their eyes on a tray.He put the mug in front of himself and Sugai, and the coffee cup with a saucer in front of Mizuki. The three sipped coffee in an atmosphere of awkward silence, Zhelang and Subei added creamer, and Mizuki drank black coffee directly.

She put down her coffee cup and burst out laughing. "You were shocked when you heard such a thing suddenly." "Of course..., right?" Xu Bei asked Zhe Lang for approval. "Well," Zhe Lang also nodded, "You said, you have been like this since a long time ago?" "Yes, probably from birth." "But in my opinion, you are a woman." Xu Bei said, "I did feel that there was something wrong with you, but I never thought that you are not a woman." Zhe Lang murmured in his heart: Me too. "Humans are animals, once they are cornered, they can perform any kind of drama."

"Were you acting at that time?" Xu Bei asked. "If you ask me if it's all about acting, it's a little hard for me to answer. Many things are hard to explain. The psychology of people like us is very complicated. I think ordinary people can't understand it." Zhe Lang really didn't understand, so he had nothing to say.Sugai seems to be the same way. "The kindergarten I went to had a small swimming pool," Meiyue continued, holding a coffee cup in her hand. "Every summer, I look forward to jumping in and playing in the water. However, there is one thing that I find incredible, that is why only myself Dress differently from everyone else."

"Swimming?" Zhe Lang asked. "Yeah. The other kids just wear a pair of black swimming trunks, but I have to wear something that covers my upper body, and it's pink. I think only girls who usually wear skirts should wear that kind of thing, and I usually just wear it." He wears pants, so he should wear black swimming trunks like other boys." Mizuki took a sip of coffee and inserted her fingers into her short hair. "That was my earliest memory of being treated like a girl. Later, I repeatedly competed with my mother. My mother asked me to wear skirts, but I didn't want to wear them; she asked me to play girl games, and I didn't want to." He wants me to tie a bow in my hair, but I don’t want to. Maybe it’s because my mother came from a family with strict tutoring, so she has an ideal parent-child picture in her mind. If the real life doesn’t match her ideal, she will not only She blames her husband and children, and she also blames herself. I think she probably discovered that her only child has a different personality, so she anxiously thought that she had to try to correct it as soon as possible."

"But she didn't make it." Hearing Zhe Lang's words, Mei Yue nodded. "It's a pity. But she probably thought she had succeeded." "What's the meaning?" "Once a child becomes a director, he will worry about many things. If the mother sheds tears because of herself, the child will think that this cannot go on." "So you started acting?" "Yes. Even though I don't like it, I still know how to wear skirts; even though I'm unhappy, I still play with girls. I even imitate their words and expressions. As long as I do this, my mother will feel relieved and the family will be peaceful. But, I I always feel that this is not right, this is not my true self.”

Xu Bei let out a low moan.He took off his suit jacket and loosened his tie. "How should I put it, uh, I don't quite understand this matter." He said, "For me, Hiura has always been a woman. Even if you say you are not a woman now, I still can't accept it." "Of course, my heart has never changed. It's easy to be with my friends in the American football club because they don't treat me like a woman. People change clothes in front of me and don't I’ll be particularly concerned about what’s there and what’s not. Although Risako is always mad at you for being so unreliable, I don’t. To be honest, I’m very happy.”

"That's because Hiura is not an ordinary woman," Sugai said, "Anzai also said just now. He said that no one knows American football better than you." Perhaps because of hearing the memorable name, Mizuki's expression softened. "How is Anxi?" "It's still the same. But the belly is getting bigger and bigger." "That guy is a good guy. After all, ordinary men are always insensitive to being taught by women. I'm really glad I joined the American football club." Mizuki lowered her eyes slightly, "It must be even better if I can wear protective gear."

"I wish I had let you wear it once." Xu Bei said with a smile, and glanced at Zhe Lang.Zhe Lang also said, "That's right." "But, the good times are only limited to that time." Mei Yue's expression darkened.The slightly hoarse voice became even deeper, "As I said just now, my working life sucks. Just because my body is a woman, I don't know how much I have suffered..." Zhe Lang didn't know how to speak, so he brought the mug to his mouth.He knows that women are often treated unreasonably in this society.But the suffering that Mizuki narrated probably belonged to a different level from that.

"After quitting my construction job, I changed jobs. I looked for jobs that didn't make me aware that I had a female body. But the problem wasn't the job, it was how I got along with people. As long as there is an opportunity to be in contact with others, it is impossible not to face up to the gap between the body and the mind." "So you gave up?" Zhe Lang asked, "That's why you are in a hurry to get married..." "I thought I would change because of this. If I get married and have children... maybe I will be different." Mizuki showed a painful look.

"Do you have children?" Zhe Lang asked. "A six-year-old son. She has a small penis, which is enviable." She probably meant to joke, but Zhe Lang couldn't laugh.Sugai stared at the bottom of the mug. At this time, the sound of the door lock opening came from the ear, and the three of them looked at each other in blank dismay. "It's Risako." Zhe Lang said. Mizuki got up from the sofa, her eyes wandering in the air lazily.This was the first time she showed a look of bewilderment today, but she immediately sat down again, no matter how panicked she was, it would not help.

Zhelang walked to the corridor, and Risako was taking off his shoes at the entrance. "you're back." She probably didn't expect Zhe Lang to come out to greet him, and stopped in the independent posture of a golden rooster. "Well, I'm back." "Why so late?" "Didn't I tell you that I would be back later?" Risako took off the other shoe and saw two unfamiliar shoes in the entrance. "Is anyone here?" "A friend from the American football club." "I know that, who came with whom?" "One is Sugai, who do you think the other is?" Risako showed a bored expression on Tetsura's question. "I'm tired, stop playing charades with me." She was carrying a large bag containing photographic equipment and was about to walk towards the living room.Zhe Lang grabbed her free other hand, "Wait a minute." "What are you doing?" Risako frowned.Bangs fell over her eyebrows. "It's Hiura." "Huh?" She opened her eyes wide, and her displeasure disappeared. "It's Hiura Mizuki, that guy is here." "Mizuki? Really?" The corners of his mouth turned up in joy.Risako seemed impatient to meet her. However, Zhe Lang did not let go of his hand. "Before I meet her, I have something to tell you first." Zhe Lang looked down at Risako's surprised expression, and continued, "She's not what she used to be." "What's the meaning?" At this time, the living room door opened.Risako looked in the direction of the door, and Mizuki was standing in front of her. "So that's what happened," she said.