Chapter 44 end

Staring again at the sheet music that he had read over and over again, Naoki took a deep breath.The beating of the heart accelerated, and it could not calm down all the time.Thinking that he probably won't be able to get rid of this state until the end, he sighed again. Seeing him like this, Terao smiled wryly. "Why is that pitiful expression! It's not a live broadcast at the Nippon Budokan, so relax and do it, relax!" Zhigui's expression was still tense. "I can't do it, so I'm worried. It's been many years, and I haven't sung in front of people. I haven't even been to karaoke."

"You're fine! And today's concert is not for them to listen to nice songs. What they need is treatment. Just make everyone happy." "Yes. I know." Naoki nodded. He cast his gaze out the window.There was no sign of anyone on the playing field.What is that playground for?he thinks.In the past, on late-night TV programs, I have seen movies of inmates playing baseball. Doesn’t Tsuyoshi occasionally run to his heart’s content? Further forward, you can see the high gray wall, which separates you from the outside world.Nothing could be seen beyond the wall.Only the blue sky can be seen.Even if you look forward to the outside, you can only imagine here.My brother has been looking at this kind of scenery for several years - Naoki looked away.

It was last month that I called Terao.Want to participate in the performance of going to prison, Naoki said.Terao seemed taken aback, and was silent for a while. "I know it may be self-righteous to say this suddenly, but I still want to do it very much, because..." Having said that, Terao interrupted him. "No problem. Needless to say. As long as you have this idea, I'm happy. It's been a long time since we held a concert together, so let's do it!" The statement seemed to see through everything. After that, Terao didn't inquire about anything.Zhigui thought, after this concert is successfully concluded, I will talk to him on the way back.It's not about showing off, it's about not having the confidence to express your thoughts fully yet.After I think it's all over, maybe I can express my feelings.

Also tell Yushiko.In the past month, she noticed the change in her husband, but she didn't ask any questions.When Naoki told her that she would participate in the prison performance, she just smiled and said, "You must practice hard!" The young police officer with neatly combed hair entered the lounge with a slightly nervous expression. "Well, it's a band called 'Imagination'. The venue is ready, and the inmates are all seated. It can start at any time." "Imagination" is the name of their combination, which is only today's combination. Terao looked at Naoki and stood up, "Okay! Let's go."

Zhigui didn't speak, but nodded. Exit the lounge and walk to the venue.The venue is the gymnasium. When walking behind the police officer, Naoki's heart beat even harder, and his throat became extremely thirsty. Can he sing in this state?He was a little uneasy and became more and more nervous.The thought of wanting to escape and the thought of not being able to escape are in a fierce struggle. They entered through the back door of the gymnasium, which was completely silent.Naoki had participated in several small concerts in the past, and no matter how small the audience was, the noise could still be heard in the background.The atmosphere here is particularly confusing.

"It seems to have been said several times, don't let the atmosphere get too high." As if sensing Naoki's thoughts, Terao whispered in his ear. "Don't let the audience's emotions get too high today. The key is to sing songs that can enter the heart of the other party." I know, Naoki wanted to speak, but couldn't make a sound. "Then, just come out after my introduction," said the officer. "Understood," the two replied. On the temporary stage, the police first stood up and said the precautions, and then introduced the singer of the duo who will sing today.Of course, almost all of them are about Terao, and to Naoki, they only say that they are his friends.

Naoki looked at his sweaty hands, closed his eyes, and took deep breaths repeatedly.That's all I can do, so I can only do my best, because this is the last time for my elder brother to see my younger brother - he said in his heart. The conversation at Ogata's house replayed in my mind, no, it should be said to be the letter I got from Ogata.It is because of reading that letter that Naoki came here today. I've read it several times, and I can almost recite it by heart. It's a letter from Tsuyoshi to Ogata.The content of the letter is as follows: to whom It May Concern: Today I want to truthfully say an important matter, so I write to you.

I received a letter from my brother two days ago.For a prisoner, there is nothing more gratifying than receiving a letter from a relative. I suppressed my excitement and opened it. However, after reading that letter, I was stunned.It was written in the letter that from now on I would never write any more letters, and I would no longer accept letters from me to her.The reason is to protect their relatives.My brother wrote this.That letter deeply described how much suffering he has suffered up to now just because of having a brother who was a robber and murderer, and those sufferings continue to this day.How much hardship his wife and daughter have encountered.If this continues, it will even affect her daughter's marriage in the future, and there is such a bleak prediction.

The younger brother said, so I have to sever brotherhood with my elder brother.Tell me not to contact them again after I get out of prison. I don't know if you can understand the shock I feel when I read this letter.Not because the younger brother was stimulated to sever ties.It was overwhelmed by the fact that they have been suffering for so many years because of me.At the same time, these things were naturally predictable, but when I received this letter from my brother, I basically didn't realize it.For my stupidity, self-loathing to the extreme, I wish I could die.It shows that although I am in such a place, I have not been transformed at all.

At the same time, I realized that what my brother wanted to say most was that I should not write letters.The same is true for the letter to Mr. Ogata. From the point of view of the Ogata supervisor, he also thinks that this is just a kind of self-gratification of the prisoner, which is very unpleasant.I am deeply sorry for this and have written this letter for it.Of course, this is the last time.I'm so sorry.I wish you good health and happiness. Takeshi Takeshima And again: I really want to write an apology letter to my brother, but there is no way for him to read it. When I read this letter, the tears did not stop.Writing a letter to tell my brother to sever the relationship between brothers, I also feel that it is too cruel.I thought that Gangzhi would definitely be very dissatisfied, but my brother thought completely differently.

I should not have written!Brother thinks. You are wrong, brother.It is because of those letters that I am where I am today.If there is no faith, the pain will probably be less, but there will be no struggle and exploration on the road of life. "Next, let the two members of 'Imagine' come on stage, please take care of me!" Hearing this voice, he woke up.Naoki glanced at Terao, and he nodded deeply in silence. The two walked onto the stage.No applause, no cheers.Naoki raised his head slowly, and took a breath for a moment.The men with the same crew cut and the same clothes stared at this place motionlessly.His eyes were full of anticipation and curiosity.They look forward to such contact with outsiders.Moreover, Naoki felt that there was envy and even jealousy in their eyes, jealousy for those who could live outside, those who could surpass that gray wall. "Hello everyone! We are the 'Imagination' group" - Terao began to speak with a cheerful voice.After all, I have experienced such scenes many times, and I am used to this atmosphere.He introduced himself with a proper mix of jokes, and the expressions of the audience relaxed a little bit. Naoki looked around the seats slowly, where is his brother?But all the people have the same clothes and the same hairstyle, so it's hard to find them all at once. Terao said: "Then, first of all, I would like to invite everyone to listen to our singing, which is also the source of our group name, John Lennon's "Imagine"." Terao sat in front of the specially prepared piano and nodded to Naoki.Zhigui also nodded in response.Then turn back to the audience. My brother is right here, if you want to hear me sing, try your best, at least today... The accompaniment started, and the prelude to "Imagination" sounded. Naoki set his eyes on the microphone, and then looked at the audience from a distance.Take a short breath. At this moment, Naoki caught sight of a spot on the seat, which was behind the right side, as if there was a sudden flash of light nearby. The man bowed his head deeply, and his posture was thinner than Naoki's memory. Seeing his posture, Naoki felt a sudden surge of heat deep in his body.The man put his two palms together in front of his chest, as if he was confessing or praying, and he could even feel him trembling slightly. Big brother—Naoki called out in his chest. Brother, why were we born into this world? Brother, will we have a happy day too?We talked together, the way the two of us peeled mother's chestnuts. Naoki stared at that point and stood in front of the microphone blankly.The whole body was numb and unable to move, and could only barely breathe. "Hey! Takeshima..." Terao repeated the intro. Naoki finally opened his mouth, ready to sing. However, no sound came out. No sound at all.