Chapter 43 Section 9

The next day was Saturday, although the store was not closed, it happened to be off duty.After lunch, he left the house without saying where he was going.Yushiko didn't ask him specifically.Maybe he has already sensed his purpose.I hardly ever wear a suit to go out on non-working days. When I arrived in Ikebukuro, I bought a gift box of western sweets at a department store.When asked if he needed gift wrapping, he replied that he didn't need it because he didn't know what name to use. Take the subway via the Marunouchi Line and transfer to the Tozai Line, arrive at Kiba Station, and then walk.

On the sidewalk beside the main road, he walked silently.Vehicles continued to pass by, including trucks from moving companies.Seeing that, he couldn't help thinking about his brother.In order to earn his younger brother's tuition, the elder brother carries heavy goods every day.After ruining my health, I was eager to get money, so I did that thing obsessively.It was this street that came to his mind at that time. There was no planning at all, almost an impulsive crime - as the state-appointed defense attorney put it.Naoki felt exactly like that.In any case, Gangzhi focused on that family because he still had an impression of the old lady there, and the reason for his impression was that the old lady had spoken kindly to him.

If you have to steal something, why not find someone you hate, he thought.But Gangzhi wouldn't do that. As I was walking based on my impression, suddenly, the signboard of "Ogata Store" came into view.It's written on the sign in the parking lot.Zhigui hurriedly looked around, and across the road, there was a two-story house with a Western-style gate. I still have an impression of that door.Not long after the incident caused by Takeshi, he came here in a daze.But the house seems to have changed. It should be a one-story house. Has it been remodeled? Zhigui remembered what happened when he came here before, and originally wanted to apologize to the bereaved family, but when he saw them, he ran away in a hurry.

Perhaps the debts owed at that time had to be repaid by oneself——Thinking back on what happened before, Zhigui thought.At least he won't become such a humble person as he is now. He approached the door and reached out to ring the bell.If only no one was home!At this point, he still had this thought in his heart, and he hated himself a little. Press the button and hear the doorbell ring inside the house.Naoki took a deep breath. After a few seconds, I heard a voice that promised, it was a man's voice. "I'm very sorry for the sudden visit. My name is Takeshima. Is the master at home?"

After a while, someone asked, "Which Mr. Takeshima?" Zhigui took another deep breath: "I'm Takeshi Takeshi's younger brother." It is a name they will not forget.Zhigui wanted to swallow his saliva, but his mouth was dry. Unexpectedly, the door opened all of a sudden.A man in a short-sleeved shirt was exposed.It seems to be fatter than when I saw it before, and there are more gray hairs. There was no expression on his face, he stared intently at Naoki approaching, his mouth tightly closed. Through the door, the two faced each other.Zhigui bowed his head in greeting.

"I'm really sorry for the sudden visit, because I don't know the phone number." As he spoke, he took a peek at the other person's appearance, and the man still showed no expression. "What's the matter?" he asked in a low, steady voice. "You must think so by now. But I still want to express my condolences. It was my brother who asked me to do this. I should have called earlier, but I couldn't muster the courage and delayed it for several years." "But why did you suddenly think of it?" "That..." He was speechless. "Is it your problem?"

Zhigui lowered his head.Putting it aside for several years, in order to adjust my mentality, and then visiting suddenly-this behavior is too self-righteous. Then Ogata opened the door. "Please, come in!" Zhigui looked at the other person's face in surprise, "Is it okay?" "Didn't you come here for this?" Ogata's lips relaxed a little, "Besides, there is something I want you to see." "Want me to see it?" "Come in first!" There is a brown leather sofa in the room where Naoki was ushered in. "Sit down, please!" he said.Zhigui sat in the middle of the three-seater sofa.Directly opposite is a large wide-screen TV.Naoki remembered that he had heard that Gangzhi didn't run away immediately after stealing things, but sat on the sofa and watched TV.

"Unfortunately, my wife took the child out. It's not a coincidence, maybe it should be just right." Ogata sat on the armrest armchair, and went to the ashtray and cigarettes. "Well, these are some worthless things." Zhigui wanted to hand over the things wrapped by the department store. "No, please take it back." Ogata looked away and said, "I don't want to tell my wife and others about your visit. She is a woman who will get angry even if she knows that people come into the house casually. Moreover, this looks like It's something to eat, and frankly, put it in your mouth in what mood? It's just unpleasant to think about. You probably don't like to hear it."

"Ah! Got it." Zhigui took the dim sum back to his side.At first he thought that people might not accept it. After an unpleasant silence for a while, Ogata puffed out his cigarette while staring in different directions, as if waiting for Naoki to say something. "Has this house been remodeled?" Zhigui looked around and asked. "Until three years ago, we lived in another place. We couldn't keep it empty all the time, and we couldn't find anyone to rent, so we decided to come and live here. However, my wife said that she didn't want it to be the same as before, and I also have It was with the same idea that we decided to rebuild.”

Ogata casually added the bad influence of the incident into euphemistic language.No one rents it, and my wife hates living in it, all because there have been murders in this house. "Well, Mr. Ogata," Naoki raised his head, "As I said just now, I thought, could you allow me to light a stick of incense to express my condolences." "That won't work." Ogata said calmly. Being rejected right away, Naoki didn't know what to do, and didn't know where to look, so he lowered his head. "It's best not to misunderstand. It's not because I hate you, but rather the opposite. You have nothing to do with the incident. You were not the one who killed my mother, so there is no reason for you to come to burn incense. Please tell your brother the same."

"My brother?" "Please wait a moment!" Ogata stood up and left the room. While waiting, Zhigui kept staring at the surface of the coffee table.No matter whether it is a gift or burning incense, all of them are rejected, and I don't know what to do. Ogata returned, holding a paper bag in his right hand.Putting it on the coffee table, Zhigui saw that there were bundles of envelopes in the paper bag. "Your brother sent it every month since he was in prison, probably never stopped." "My brother also gave Mr. Ogata..." Naoki doesn't know at all.I remember that my brother never mentioned this matter in his letter. Ogata took out a letter. "Probably this is the first letter. I wanted to tear it up and throw it away, but I thought it was an escape from reality, so I put it down. At that time, I never thought that I could accumulate such a pile." He pointed with his jaw The letter, "Look at it!" "is it okay?" "You see, there is still meaning." Ogata said and stood up again, "You can also read other letters, I will go out for a while." After Ogata went out, Naoki opened the first letter, the letter paper was crumpled, it must have been tampered with by Ogata. Zhigui quickly looked at the effect. to whom It May Concern: I knew it was very rude, but I wanted to make amends no matter what, so I wrote this letter.If you get angry when you read it, tear it up and throw it away.I know I am not qualified to make amends. Very very sorry!I know that I won't be forgiven even if I apologize a few thousand times, tens of thousands of times, but all I can do now is apologize.The bad things I did were not done by humans, and there is no excuse for that.When I was in the detention center, I thought about dying several times, but I felt that doing so would not be enough to atone for my crime.I'm going to serve my sentence from now on, but I want to make up for it with my life when I can get out of here. Now my biggest wish is to admit my mistake in front of Ms. Ogata's portrait.It might be said what's the use of doing something like that now?But that's all I can think of right now. However, now I can't even offer a stick of incense.So please my brother, go and burn a stick of incense for me.I think my brother may go back to visit sometime, please don't blame him too much, he has nothing to do with the incident, I did it all by myself. I am very grateful if you can read this letter. Yours sincerely Takeshi Takeshima Zhigui remembered that when he first entered the prison, Gangzhi repeatedly asked himself to go to Ogata's house in the letter.It turned out that he also wrote such a letter. Zhigui also read the other letters, and there was no big difference in what was written in each letter.Did something very sorry, would have done anything if there was a way to make amends, regretted it every night--said words of deep remorse.Then there is the form in which Zhigui is involved in each letter.The younger brother started to go to college while working hard, found a job, seemed to be married, and felt really happy—only the younger brother was the meaning of his existence, and those things were said in his heart. I don't know when Ogata returned.He looked down at Naoki and asked, "How is it?" "Have no idea my brother wrote these letters." "It seems to be." Ogata sat back where he was originally sitting. "However, I know that he has been writing to you. Because he often mentions your affairs in his heart." "Is there nothing else to write?" "Perhaps. But frankly, these are unpleasant letters to me." Ogata's words made Naoki straighten up suddenly. "It's understandable for him to regret his mistakes. But no matter how much he apologizes and introspects, the regret that his mother was killed cannot be eliminated." Ogata flicked the paper bag containing the letter with his fingers, "telling my brother about the recent situation is also hateful, even Makes me feel like I'm pretty happy even though I'm in jail. I've tried to tell him a few times to never write to me again! But that's also stupid, so I decided to ignore it completely. I feel that if I never talk to him , he gradually stopped sending letters. However, I made a mistake, and his letters have never stopped. I finally understand that this is like the "Prajna Heart Sutra" for him. As long as my side If I don't tell him to stop, he will continue forever. But is it good for me to stop? I am also confused. If I don't let him write a letter, it means that the incident is completely over. Is it okay to let the incident end? Frankly speaking, I haven't quite made up my mind to accept the end of events." Ogata took out another letter from the paper bag and put it in front of Naoki. "At this time, I received this letter. Let's talk about the conclusion. This is his last letter." Naoki was taken aback, looking back and forth between Ogata and the letter. "After reading this letter, I made up my mind that it's time for the incident to end." Naoki reached for the letter, "Can I read it?" "He doesn't seem to like it. I think you should read it, and here's the letter for you." Naoki held the envelope in both hands, but didn't have the courage to take out the letter paper. "Naoki-kun, that's how it's called." Ogata said, "I think, that's it, let's end here, everything." "Mr. Ogata..." "It's been a long time for each other!" As he said, Ogata blinked and looked up at the roof.