Chapter 5 Part II - 2

I was very lonely at home. I was tired of staying in the house, so I went out and walked across the road to watch the children play.I really want to play with them.One day I was standing outside watching the children play cricket when suddenly a ball flew through the air and fell on my feet.I thought I was going to pick it up and throw it to the kids, but as soon as I touched the ball, I didn't know what happened to me - instead of throwing it back, I took the ball to the clearing and started playing with them.I don’t know how long it took, but I wanted to continue playing, when suddenly a child grabbed my hand and said, “Sister, there’s an auntie calling you across the street.” When I looked up, I saw several women standing near my house look at me.Among them was my aunt.I walked back, and my aunt scolded: "Do you know what you are doing? What if you hurt the child? Look at your body, you can't even walk, and you rushed out to play recklessly, go back right away !"

I walked into the room in shame.The neighbors started making fun of me, especially the young boys and girls, and they said, "Look at my sister-in-law, she can barely walk and she's playing cricket." I couldn't help laughing. When I was happy, the house didn't look so bad anymore.At my dad's house, I felt like life was hard because of the lingering tension, but there were only two of us here, and my husband was hardly there.He quarreled with me and ran away from home, and I reassured myself that I could watch the kids play, or see my sister Sandia, who was always willing to help me.Sister Sandia told my husband that I had to buy me whatever I wanted.That's the only way, she told him, so my kids don't stop drooling.And I, a fool, really thought he would do what my sister said, and began to fantasize about asking him what he wanted.I decided to ask him for some crushed puffed rice when I was in labor.Just thinking about it makes me happy.I really thought he would do what I said, so I waited for the day, waiting for the right time.Time passed slowly, I looked forward to it more and more, and I became happier and happier.Then it occurred to me that he wouldn't be home tonight, and I thought, why not ask now?But how to ask, we barely speak... I told myself I had to ask him, just try it once and see how it goes.So, I went into the kitchen.He was sitting on a stool and I kept walking around him.He looked at me and I looked at him.I told myself that the puffed rice would not come by itself, so I worked up my courage, smiled and asked him to give me some money.I repeated it two or three times before he took some money out of his pocket, threw it to me with great reluctance, and left.

My husband never gave me a penny before.No matter what I need, I have to find him, and he decides whether to buy it or not.Vendors hawk all kinds of things nearby.Whenever I see other girls buy something from them, I am very upset.Even if he wanted to go to the vegetable market, he would go by himself.I couldn't stand the days without a penny in my pocket, so I came up with an idea.Every day when I cook, I take away a handful of rice.A few days later, I saw him going out with a bag, so I asked him if he was going to buy rice, and he said yes, so I told him, "I have some rice, do you want to buy it?" He laughed: " Show me, is it enough for a few days?"

"Two or three days." He listened, put down his bag, and went to work without saying anything.I foolishly thought I could make a few rupees this way.Maybe it would be better if I didn't say anything. The next morning, while he was having tea, I said, "Buy some rice, or I won't be able to cook." "But you said you have enough rice for two or three days," he said. "If you pay me, I'll take the rice and cook it." He laughed, but said nothing. "Don't you think I need money for small things too?" I said, "You never buy me anything, if you don't give me a penny, how am I going to run the house? I want to buy things, but what?" Can't buy it either! Everyone here has pocket money, but me, I can only watch them."

"Here, take it," he said, and gave me ten rupees. "Two or three kilograms of rice are only worth ten rupees? I won't give you the rice for such little money." He laughed again.I said, "Don't laugh. The rice is saved by eating less every day. If you only plan to give me such a small amount of money, I will never save rice like I am now." "Can't you get anything to eat here? I guess you must think that the person who feeds you is your father, and I didn't give you anything." "What did you give me?" I asked, "except a few bites to eat. Do you think I have no expectations for life? Every morning, you give me a handful of rice, some vegetables, never thought, just for that Stuff, how do I cook. You left when you were full, and never asked me if I had eaten, if I was full." But after so many words, he didn't respond at all.

I was about to go on, when my stepmother came.After a casual chat, she asked me if I had been to the hospital.I told her no.She thought she was going into labor and said, "Come with me quickly. Better get ready for labor." My husband heard all this, but I packed my things and he didn't say a word either.I followed my stepmother. The first few days at my parents' house were very happy, but after that, they started arguing again.Things seem to be much worse this time around.Dad really got angry, and he said to his stepmother, "You are a good man. You brought your daughter back and promised to give her a peaceful environment. Now that she is here, you are fussing over her." The stepmother grumbled a few words Well, I didn't catch what she said.But Pa was shaking with rage, and in a fit of rage he started beating her.They shouted at each other.I tried hard to calm them down, but they were both mad, and neither would listen to me.This pissed me off.Can't these people live a peaceful life? "It was a mistake to come here," I said to my stepmother, "and if my coming would cause you so much trouble, I don't see why you took me here in the first place. You should have kept me at home. God Now, what the hell did I do to end up like this, isn't there a place for me?" I said, hitting myself on the head.

Dad rushed towards me as if he was going to pick me up, maybe he was worried that I would hurt himself.But he looked at his stepmother, hesitated again, stood there, and said, "Don't cry, boy, please don't cry!" This annoyed me even more, and I cried even harder.He turned to his stepmother and said, "Lani, tell her not to cry, or someone will die. Oh, my God!" He cried, "What have I done? What has happened to my daughter?" He called a neighbor: "Brother, look at my daughter, why is she like this? What kind of evil is she?" The neighbor came over, kept a distance from me, and stood opposite me and shouted: "Babe, what's wrong?" He was so angry that he couldn't care about his messy clothes, and his blood rushed straight to his forehead.I raised a huge scythe and threatened: "Don't come near me, anyone who dares to come near me, I will cut him with a knife."

Seeing this, my father fell at my feet and cried, "Calm down, kid. Calm down, I beg you!" Grandma came up behind me and carefully pulled the knife out of my hand while persuading me.The knife slipped to the ground, and I collapsed with a thud.Dad stood up and said to my stepmother, "Lani, put some sesame oil on her forehead." Stepmother rubbed the oil on her forehead, and Dad gently told me to sit up.So, I sat up, packed my clothes, and said, "I'm leaving early tomorrow morning." "Okay, if you must go, go, but calm down now." Dad cried and said, "I'm so sorry for you, every time you come back, there will be troubles in the house. I can't even have a little peace Here you are, I'm so sorry. I made money, but I can't support you. What kind of father am I? Come on, boy, this is not the place for you. You can't live here. Take your things, your Take everything you deserve."

That night, I went to bed hungry.It was very late at night, and the stepmother woke up Dad and asked him to eat something.Dad yelled to me, "Come here, kid, come get something to eat." "I don't want to eat," I said, "I'm not hungry." But they both came up together, grabbed my hand, pulled me up, and brought me something to eat.The next morning, my grandma took me home.When she got home, she went to see her aunt and then went back. Three days later, I started to have labor pains.That morning, my father asked my brother to go to the vegetable market and told him to stop by and see me when he came home.When my brother came over, he found me lying down and asked what happened.I told him I was very uncomfortable.My husband was there at the time.He said to my brother, "Your mother was eager to take her back, but she couldn't stay long."

"It's right for my sister to come back," my brother said. "It won't do her any good to stay in that kind of place. I'm going too soon." "But where are you going?" I asked him. "Do you think anyone else can stay in a place like that?" said the younger brother. "Then why did your mother take her away?" interposed the husband, "just to show how much she loves Baby, didn't she?" The pain got worse and worse.My younger brother must have told my father about my situation, because he and his stepmother came to see me that day.Dad told my husband that he should take me to the hospital.Shankar retorted: "When you picked her up, you said you would wait until the baby was born, but why didn't you keep her at home? Why did you send her back?"

"Her home is here, and this is where she belongs..." Dad replied, and then left with his stepmother. Sister Sandia often visits me.One day, she said to my husband, "Shankar, she has been in pain for two days, but she still hasn't moved. Why don't you call a midwife?" The husband was noncommittal, but Sister Sandia insisted, and finally, he invited A midwife comes.When the midwife came, she kicked everyone out of the room, and then examined me like the doctors in the hospital did a few days ago.She massaged my stomach and said, "There are two or three days before the baby is born. Until then, you have to rest. However, you can also get out of bed and move around." I started shaking with fear.She straightened my clothes and told me that if I made any knots in my clothes or in the rope, I had to untie them.Then she asked me to open all the spice boxes, and took off the lids herself.I start to cry.Why do you have to suffer this crime?The midwife sat with me for a while, then she called Sister Sandia in and left. Five days later, the stomach is still hurting, but there is still no movement.Although it was labor pain, once it happened, I didn't know what to do.When the pain subsided a little, I wanted to get out of bed and go for a walk, or talk to someone.During the day, Sister Sandia takes care of me and cooks delicious food for me.She firmly believed that not eating anything would cause dystocia, so she forced me to drink hot milk, hot tea and boiled water.At night, I sleep alone.Sometimes it hurts and I struggle and cry out, but it hardly affects my husband, and once he falls asleep, nothing can wake him up.On the sixth day, the midwife came to massage me again.After she checked, she said it would take a while.Slowly, my stomach hurt more and more, and my tears and screams became more and more frequent.That day, the midwife stayed with me all day.I have not eaten or slept properly for six days, and I feel that I am not far from death.After six days, there was still no movement, so Sister Sandia also became worried.She called my husband and said, "Shankar, what are you doing? It's been so long and you haven't arranged anything. Go, take her to the hospital." Around nine o'clock that night, Sister Sandia and Her husband got ready to go to the hospital with me, my husband and the midwife.When Sister Sandia reached out to help me, I cried.I was too weak to walk.But everyone encouraged me and said I would get through it.They helped me into a truck.We climbed into the car and set off to the hospital.As soon as I was in the hospital, they all went back in the truck. In the hospital, I, a child not yet fourteen years old, I, Bebe, lay in bed crying.Other patients began to complain, and Bebe was moved to another ward, where her hands and feet were bound heavily to the operating table.A local maid and nurse came to see her from time to time.She screamed louder, and the maid called for the doctor.The doctor helped her hang a bottle of salt water and said that the situation was very bad. "Don't leave her alone," the doctor said to the nurse.Around ten o'clock that night, Bebe felt something come out of her body.She asked the maid if the baby had been born.The maid and nurse laughed.Then, there was a sudden sharp cramping pain in her abdomen, which drove her mad.If her hands and feet hadn't been bound, she would have torn everything she caught.The maid said, "Poor thing, she's in such pain and still nothing." Then she told Bebe, "Think of God or Goddess Mahakali, and everything will be alright." Bebe did up. "Oh God, O Lord Shiva," she cried, "your Bebe can't take it anymore! Please, save her, or kill her, and don't let her die again." Endure the pain." Bebe cried out in pain as she prayed and had another sharp colic. Maids and nurses stand at the stage.The nurse said to the maid, "I can see the head, but the baby just won't come out." After she finished speaking, she went to the doctor.Bebe was unconscious from the pain.When the doctor came, he tied Bebe with a belt, and then he felt Bebe's belly, and said the child had turned.The nurse brought in another doctor.Babe's hands and feet twitched in pain, and she struggled so hard that the ropes that bound her hands and feet snapped.Soon, four more men came and tied her up.Bebe kept yelling, "Mum, oh Ma! I'm dying, Ma! Help me, Ma! Where are you?" The doctor grabbed the child and pulled it out.Suddenly, Bebe stopped crying or screaming or moving.She had a cut in her lower body and had to sew it up.The nurse handed the doctor the horrible looking scissors and scalpel.Bebe asked the maid timidly, "What's he doing with that? I've got nothing to do now." "It's nothing, just lie down obediently and don't move." Babe lay there, listening to the baby's cries. "Your son was born on a good day," said the maid, "at ten ten on the night of Janmashtami, and the baby is not light, three and a half kilograms." She kept saying this to distract Babe. Attention, let the doctor suture the wound.When the doctor was done, he told the maid that it was time to wash Babe.God, so much blood - buckets full!After shedding so much blood, who still has the strength! "Help her clean and wash well." The doctor left after finishing speaking. After the doctor left, they helped Babe off the operating table and tried to get her up on her own, but she passed out.The maid ran to fetch the doctor.As soon as the doctor came back, he said that he was afraid of such a thing.They put Babe on the stretcher and carried her to the hospital bed.Bebe could only hear soft voices, but could not see or speak.They tried to help her with salt water, but they couldn't find a vein in her hand.Later, a doctor came running, and he turned her hand over, turned over, found the vein, and stuck a needle in it.He told the nurse that after hanging one bottle, another bottle had to be hung.The nurse hung three bottles in a row before walking away.She told the other patients that even if Bebe asked for water, she couldn't give it to her.In the dead of night, Bebe woke up, feeling all right, and tried to get out of bed, but couldn't sit up.The body seemed to be hollowed out, and it was light and fluffy, like a thin layer stuck to the bed.Also, she was very thirsty.She asked for water, but no one gave her—because the nurse had ordered it.Bebe noticed a bottle of water on a table not far away.She felt that she would die if she didn't drink any more water, so she reached out her hand, got the bottle of water, and drank it all in one go.When she woke up in the morning, Bebe found her eyes and face were swollen badly.The doctor saw her and yelled, "Why are you drinking that bottle of water? You want to die, don't you?" Bebe could only cry, she didn't know how to answer. After a while the maid brought Bebe's baby.After she handed the baby to Babe, she asked for money to buy candy. "It's a good day for your firstborn son to be born. Wednesday is Krishna's birthday again. When will the baby's father come? We worked very hard. We didn't sleep a whole night, and you were tortured enough." Bebe said, "Moose, I'm so hungry." The maid went out and bought some tea and bread for Bebe, and said, "It's time to feed the baby." Bebe ate the bread and drank the tea , but still hungry. "Yes, that's what happened," said the maid, "you've been ripped out of your body." Then, she changed the subject and asked Bebe, "Is no one coming from your house?" Bea's husband arrived.As soon as he appeared, the maid said, "Father, take a look, we didn't sleep a wink all night because of your wife. Now, it's time to pay us the commission." Bebe's husband is overjoyed when he learns he has a son.The nurse saw him and said, "Aha, look at you laughing. Didn't anyone in the family come here to spend the night with her yesterday? If she died, who did you bring to eat? It's a blessing she survived." Well, we all thought there was no hope. What kind of man are you to leave her alone to suffer so much, and suffer so long, and you don't bother to show your face?" Bebe's husband said nothing.Bebe said, "Let me see what you brought. I don't know if I can eat." The maid said: "You have to support her. She is still very weak. Give her something good to eat. It's not enough to just focus on the child. The child's mother also needs someone to take care of it." The same is said by the woman who has given birth and is not yet out of the hospital.Bebe's husband brought some rice and dasil from home and some fish curry from the store.The child started crying.Bebe held the baby to her chest, but she had no milk. "You have to be full before you can have milk." The maid told her, "When there is no milk, it is time to feed him some sugar water. I will fetch hot water for you." Two days later, Bebe began to have milk . One day, while she was breastfeeding, the doctor came in suddenly.Startled, Bebe put the baby down.The doctor said, "Are you okay? You must have suffered a lot. Why are you giving birth at such a young age?" She didn't answer, and kept looking away, even forgetting to breastfeed the baby.The maid picked up the crying baby and handed it to Bebe: "Look, the baby is crying. Are you still a woman? It's time to feed him now. I don't think you understand anything! Tell me how you put this baby How about raising an adult?" Then, her voice became gentle again, "I think they will let you go home today. Be sure to give us the commission before you leave. If I'm not here, you can also give the money to The person on duty. Don’t leave without paying, okay? Remember, we cleaned it up for you. Although there is nothing to repay, at least leave something for us.” At about eleven o'clock the next day, the doctor came. "How are you feeling today?" he asked Babe softly. "You'll be out of the hospital tonight. You can go with your family. I'll write a prescription. Remember to take your medicines and don't do too much work, okay?" ?” Around noon, Bebe's parents came.They didn't find her in the delivery room, so they went out again.Babe was lying on a hospital bed in the corner at the time.When she saw them, she called out, "Mom, here I am." "We've been looking for you everywhere," said the stepmother. "Your father is waiting outside." "Who is this you?" another patient asked. "My mother," Bebe said. The stepmother was amazed. "Oh my God, that's unbelievable. It's a boy, isn't it? I said you were going to have a boy, remember? Take it to your father to see." A patient asked her: "Who's here? Is this your mother? Eldest sister, are you happy to have a grandson? Is it worth marrying your daughter?" The stepmother said, "Of course." When Bebe walked out with the baby in her arms, her father was yelling, "Don't bring him here! Don't!" She continued walking towards him, and he yelled, "Look at you girl! I told you, don't bring him here!" Come here. I'll see him when I get back." Shortly after Mom and Dad left, Bebe's husband showed up.Bebe told her husband that the hospital released her. "Then let's go home," he said. "Wait, I'll get a rickshaw and you get your stuff in order." have eaten.Bebe's parents also brought Bebe's cousin, the daughter of Bebe's aunt.They sent Cousin Sadna back with Bebe so they could help her babysit.After the rickshaw came, everyone got into the car together and went back to Babe's house. The rickshaw was parked outside the house.As always, I saw the scene in the house and I really didn't want to step in.Sadna started cleaning and asked me to go out, so I went out with the baby in my arms.Sister Sandia saw me, walked over, and asked with a smile, "How is it? How do you feel?" "I'm fine now, but feeling weak." "This situation will last for a while. You have persisted for a long time. If it were someone else, it might not be possible long ago." She raised her voice and said, "Ouye Shankar, it is not enough to take care of your son, you have to Take care of the baby, mother. Make sure she eats well." Then she turned to Sadna and said, "Light a fire and make a cup of tea for your sister." The baby was sitting on my lap, but suddenly he pooped.My hands and clothes are dirty.Just about to wipe it clean, it got dirty again.Sadna yelled, "Oops, what are you doing? Let me clean it up. You're just going to leave dirty stuff everywhere!" I looked at her, blushing, and walked away smiling.Sadna knew exactly what to do.She is the eldest in the family and has to take care of her younger siblings. "It's fine now, but how long can Sadna help you?" Sister Sandia said, "In the end, you have to raise the child yourself. You'd better learn how to do these jobs." Sadna scrubbed it clean and handed the baby back to me.After a while, she came back with tea and bread.While I was eating, she cleared a corner of the room so I could have a place to lie down.Sadna, the child, and I slept in that corner that night.She told me one night that in her house, no one was allowed in or out of the new mother's room during set hours.But I said to her, there is nothing we can do, there is only one room. One day, her stepmother came and urged Sadna to go back.I asked if I could let Sadna stay longer, at least until the baby was a month old.I said I or my husband would send her back, but the stepmom was tough.Sadna doesn't want to go either, but she's staying at my mother's house and she's at my mother's mercy.She's gone, and now I'm doing everything myself: housework, babysitting and all.Neighbors wondered where Sadna had gone.Why didn't she stay a little longer, they asked?Otherwise it's fine.But what can I do?She came to see my parents before, and if my parents don't want her to stay with me for a while, I have nothing to say.Some people told me to be careful, especially the water, because I was still weak and might get sick.They all care so much about me, much better than my parents. Sometimes, I am surprised.My parents have only been here once since I got out of the hospital, and that only time was to take Sadna away.They didn't even ask how the baby was doing. I just had to go on with it.When the baby was about to be full moon, my milk became less and less.The child was crying from hunger, and I didn't know what was going on.A neighbor asked me: "Why is the child crying so much? Could it be that he is not full? Why don't you feed him some milk?" I mentioned this to the child's father, but for several days, he took me The words fall on deaf ears.Then one day, I don't know what he thought, anyway, I went out and bought a can of milk powder and came back.With my milk and milk powder, the child seems to be able to eat enough.We buy three cans a month.Whether we eat or not, we have to feed our children first.If I asked my husband for something else, he would throw a fit and the atmosphere in the house would be tense.