Chapter 21 Part IV Physical and mental exhaustion-1

For the next few days, I didn't step out of the house, answer the phone, or talk to anyone.I felt so exhausted physically and mentally, as if someone's stare or question, or even the sun's rays, would hurt me.I long to hide in a dark room and suffer alone.Suzy went to Milton Keynes for a big marketing event at Hadleys department store.Therefore, I am alone in this room.I called to order takeout, drank two bottles of white wine, and stayed in my pajamas. When Suzie came home, I was still sitting on the floor where I sat when she went out, staring blankly at the TV screen, popping a Kit Kat every now and then.

"Oh my God," Suzie yelled, dropping her bag to the floor. "Bex, are you okay? I really shouldn't have left you alone at home." "I'm fine!" I said, raising my head, forcing a smile on my stiff face. "What about your marketing?" "Well, it's still good," Suzie said, with a disturbed look on her face. "I keep getting congratulations on the frames I make. My new style was introduced at the meeting and everyone loved it...” "Susie, that's awesome!" I said, reaching out to shake her hand, "You deserve it."

"Well, thank you." She pursed her lips, walked into the room, picked up an empty wine bottle on the ground and put it on the table. "So, did Luke... call?" she asked hesitantly. "No," I replied after a moment of silence, "no, he didn't call me." I looked at Suzie, then looked away sadly. "What TV are you watching?" she said, just as an ad for a healthy Coca-Cola drink was playing on the screen. "I'm waiting to watch 'Morning Coffee,'" I replied, "and the live financial advice segment is coming up soon."

"What?" Suzy frowned. "Bex, change the channel." She reached for the remote, but I grabbed it. "No!" I said, eyes still glued to the screen. "I want to see." The iconic image of a cup of coffee appears on the screen, the familiar background music of "Good Morning Coffee" plays, and the iconic pattern fades to reveal the studio shot. "Hello everyone!" Emma said cheerfully to the camera. "Welcome back to the show. Now I introduce you to our new financial advisor, Claire Edwards!" "Who's Claire Edwards?" Suzie asked, staring at the screen with displeasure.

"I worked with her at Money Success," I said, without moving my head. "She was sitting next to me." The camera pans to give a full-body view of Claire, who sits on the sofa opposite Emma, ​​sternly facing the camera. "She doesn't seem very interesting," Suzie said. "It's not interesting." "Oh, Claire," Emma said in her beautiful voice, "what are your basic financial beliefs?" "Have you got any sayings or something?" Rory chimed in cheerfully. "I don't believe in maxims or anything," said Claire, casting a disapproving glance at Rory. "Personal financial arrangements are no joke."

"Yes!" said Rory. "Of course it's not a joke. Um... so, Claire, do you have any wise advice for our viewers who want to save money?" "I don't believe in useless or even misleading abstractions," Claire said. "Anyone who wants to save money should choose a diversification plan that suits his needs and tax situation." "Of course it is!" said Emma, ​​after a pause. "Yes. Well - then we'll take calls from the audience, shall we? Well, it's an audience member called Mandy from Norwich. " As soon as the first audience member got connected, the phone in our living room rang.

"Hi?" said Susie, picking up the microphone, and she pressed the mute button on the remote control at the same time. "Oh, hello, Mrs. Bloomwood. Wait, I'll let Becky listen." She winked at me, but I recoiled in fear.I only had a brief phone call with Mom and Dad when I got back.They knew I was no longer going to live and work in New York -- but that was all they knew.I just couldn't open my mouth to tell them that everything else was a mess too. "Becky, honey, I was just watching 'Morning Coffee'!" Mom exclaimed. "What is that lady doing? Also answering financial inquiries?"

"It's...it's nothing, Mom, don't worry!" I said, and I clenched my fists so hard that my fingernails were going to poke into the palm of my hand. "They just... asked her to cover the show when I was away." "Well. They should find someone better! Look at her fierce face, what is it," she lowered her voice. "What's that, Graham? Your dad said she's got a bear on how good your show is! But now that you're back, should they let her walk?" "I'm afraid it's not that simple," I said after a pause. "There are contracts, and... other things."

"So, when are you coming back? I think Janice will ask me." "I don't know, Mom," I said desperately, "Mom, I have something to do, that's it, okay? Someone is waiting for me at the door. I'll call you later." I put down the microphone and buried my face in my hands. "What should I do?" I said in frustration. "Susie, what do you say I should do? I can't tell them I'm fired. I can't." To make matters worse, I felt tears welling up in my eyes , dripping onto the cheeks. "They've always made me their pride. I really don't want to make them sad."

"You won't make them sad!" cried Suzy excitedly. "It's not your fault that 'Good Morning Coffee' made such a fuss. I dare say they're regretting it now. I mean, look She looks like this!" She turned up the volume on the TV, and Claire's monotonous voice sounded in the room. "Whoever retires and cannot support himself is a bloodsucker, sucking the blood of us all." "I say," said Rory, "are you saying that a little too strongly?" "Look, listen to her," said Susie, "such a vicious look!" "Maybe she can't," I said after a while, "but if they replace her, they won't come back to me. That would be an admission that they made a mistake."

"They made a mistake!" The phone rang again, and Suzy looked at me, "Are you there or not?" "Not here. I don't know when I'll be back." "Okay..." She picked up the phone. "Hello? I'm sorry, Becky is out." "Mandy, what you're doing is wrong," Claire Edwards said on the screen. "You haven't heard about savings accounts? As for your mortgage on the house, loan to buy a boat..." "No, I don't know when she'll be back," Suzie said. "Do you want to leave her a message?" She picked up a pen at hand and wrote quickly in the guest book. "Okay...it's okay...that's it. Okay, I'll tell her. Thanks." "What's the matter?" I asked after she put down the phone, "Who's calling?" I knew I was being silly, but I still looked up at Suzie with a glimmer of hope that things would turn around.Probably from the producer of another show.Maybe someone wants to ask me to do a column of mine.It may have been John Gavin calling, specifically to apologize and offer unlimited interest-free overdrafts.That may have changed everything. "It's Mel. Luke's secretary." "Oh." I looked at her worriedly, "What did she say?" "Looks like a package has arrived at the company. It says you received it. It's from America. It's from a store called Barnes and Noble?" I stare blankly at her—and then, with a pang of heartache, I suddenly remember that time I went shopping with Luke at Barnes and Noble.I bought a large stack of books for my coffee table, and Luke suggested that I use the company's postage account number to have the store send them back to the UK company, so I wouldn't have to lug them around.Thinking about it now, it really seems like a world away. "Oh, there it is, I remembered," I stammered, "Did she say anything about Luke?" "No," Suzie said apologetically, "all she said was to pick it up whenever you were free. And let me pass on her sympathy for what happened to you...if you want someone to talk to , call her anytime." "Okay," I shrugged, put my arms around my knees, and turned up the volume on the TV. "Ok." In the days that followed, I said to myself, I wasn't going to be ashamed to get those books.Besides, these books are of little use to me now.Moreover, I couldn't bear the curious eyes of Luke's employees, and pretended not to know, still holding my head up. But later, I started wanting to see Mel again.She's the only person I can relate to who knows Luke's temperament, and it's a good thing to talk to her heart-to-heart.Besides, she might hear about some developments in the United States.I know that Luke and I are effectively done, and that it's not really about me now, but I still can't help wondering if his plan will work out in the end. So four days later, around 6:00 p.m., I walked slowly to the gate of Braden's company, my heart beating.Fortunately, it was the very kind doorman who watched the door that day.He has seen me come to Luke many times before, and this time he waved me in, saving the embarrassment of making everyone know that I was here. I took the elevator up to the fifth floor and to my surprise there was no one behind the reception.This is really weird.After waiting for a while, I walked slowly past the reception desk and down the main aisle into the corporate offices.I gradually slowed down and frowned involuntarily.Something must be wrong here.Not the same as usual. It was so quiet.It can be said that the entire company office floor is silent.I looked left and right, and there was no one sitting on the chair.There are no ringing phones, no walking around, no spontaneous employee gathering discussions of the old days. What's going on? Where did the busy and tense atmosphere of Braden's company go? What happened to Luke's company? I walked past the coffee machine and there were two familiar faces standing there talking.One had an indignant look on his face, and the other agreed with him - but I couldn't make out what they were saying.When I approached them, they suddenly stopped talking, looked at me curiously, and at each other, then walked away, talking in low voices as they walked. I can't believe this is Braden & Co.The atmosphere here is completely different from before.It's like a down and out, dying company, and no one cares what they're doing anymore.I went to Mel's desk, but Mel, like everyone else, seemed to have come home from get off work.Mel usually stays until at least 7 p.m., drinks a glass of wine after that, and goes to the bathroom to change before leaving for a night she's already planned. I rummaged around behind her chair for a while, and I did find the package addressed to me.I wrote her a few words on a sticker on her desk, and prepared to leave with the heavy package.I said to myself, the purpose of my coming to the company has been achieved, it is time to go back, there is nothing to keep me. I wanted to walk away, but my legs still stood still.I stared blankly at Luke's closed office. Luke's office.There might be a fax from him in there.There is news about the progress of the New York plan.There's even news about me.I stared blankly at the smooth door, and a desire rose in my heart to go through that door and see what was worth seeing in his office. But—what am I supposed to do? Check his files? Listen to his voice mail? I mean, what if someone finds out? I stood there, fighting fiercely in my heart.I know I'm not going to actually break in and look through his stuff, but it's hard to walk away.At this time, I was suddenly petrified.The turnlock handle on his office door was turning slowly! Oh damn.Damn it.There's someone in this office! The man is opening the door and coming out! In panic I ducked behind Mel's chair.I curled up in a ball, terrified, like a child playing hide and seek.I heard someone whispering, the door opened and someone came out.All I had glimpsed from my ducking angle was a woman, and she was wearing one of those new Chanel shoes, the outrageously expensive ones.Behind her are the legs of two men, the three of them walking out along the aisle.I couldn't help sneaking out of the cover of the back of the chair to take a look-hmph, needless to say.It was Alicia the long-legged bitch, and one of the other two was Ben Bridges, and the other looked familiar but couldn't remember his name. Well, I guess that's not too outlandish.She ran the company while Luke was away.But does she have to take Luke's office? I mean, can't she use some other office? "I'm sorry, but I can only meet you here this time," I heard her say to the other person. "Of course, the next time will be at 17 King Street." They were waiting for the elevator and talking about something.I prayed desperately in my heart that all three of them would get into the elevator, leave here and never come back.But when the elevator doors opened, only the somewhat familiar person stepped into the elevator—and after a while, Alicia and Ben returned. "I'm going to get those papers," Alicia said, and she walked into Luke's office again, leaving the door open.At this time, Ben waited for her by the water dispenser, and pressed the buttons of the electronic watch on his wrist with his fingers, staring at the small screen of the watch. Oh my God.It was horrible! I couldn't move at all until they left.My knee started to ache, and I was terrified that if I moved even the slightest bit, it would click.What if Ben and Alicia stayed here for the night? What if they came up and did something at Mel's desk? What if they decided to have sex on Mel's desk? "Okay," said Alicia, as she came out the door again, "I think it's all over. It's a good meeting." "I think so, too," said Ben, looking up. "Do you think Frank's right? Do you think he's going to sue?" Frank! By the way.The other man was Frank Harper.He was the person in charge of external communications at the Bank of London.I've seen him at press conferences. "He won't," said Alicia calmly. "It would embarrass him." "He's been greatly disgraced," said Ben, beaming. "He'll be gone before long." "Yes," Alicia said, smiling at him happily.She looked at the large stack of files she was holding in her hand. "See if you took it all? Looks like nothing was forgotten. Well, I have to go. Ed is waiting for me. See you tomorrow." They disappeared down the aisle again.This time, thank goodness, they all got into the elevator.I waited for a while, and after I was sure they had left, I slowly squatted down on the ground.I frowned.What the hell is going on here? What kind of lawsuit are they talking about? Suing whom? Why is the London bank here? Is the Bank of London going to sue Luke? I squatted on the ground for a while, trying to figure out what I just heard, but I couldn't think of a reason for it.Suddenly, it dawned on me that I had to go now while no one was around.I stood up, and the muscle numbness in my legs made me grin and frown. I slowly moved my legs to let the blood flow back to normal.Immediately, I picked up the package, walked through the aisle as much as possible without looking flustered, and came to the elevator entrance.As soon as I pressed the call button, the phone in my bag rang, which startled me a lot.Hell, it's my phone! Thank goodness it wasn't from me hiding behind the Mel chair! "Who's there?" I said as I stepped into the elevator. "Bex! I'm Suzie." "Susie," I said, and couldn't help giggling, "you don't know, you'd almost get me in big trouble! If you'd called five minutes earlier, you'd have me..." "Bex, listen to me," Susie said urgently, "someone called you just now." "Oh, is it?" I pressed the button on the ground floor. "Who's calling?" "It's Zelda from Good Morning Coffee! She wants to talk to you! She said, are you free tomorrow for a potluck with her at noon?" That night, I tossed and turned sleeplessly.Suzie stayed with me late into the night, too, advising me on what to wear tomorrow.After falling asleep on the bed, I still opened my eyes, looking at the ceiling, my mind was full of thoughts.Do they want me back on the show? Or give me another job? Maybe they'll promote me! Maybe they'll let me do my own show! It wasn't until early in the morning that my wild guesses gradually subsided, and among the thousands of thoughts, only the simplest one remained.That is, all I ask is to do my old job.I want to tell my mother, start watching the shows I made again, I want to pay off all the overdraft arrears...start my life from scratch.One more chance.This is what I hope to get. "Look," Suzie said to me again the next morning when I was busy getting dressed, "look, I knew they were going to want you back. That Claire? Edwards ain't no good! Totally-" "Susie," I interrupted, "how am I dressed?" "Fine," said Suzie, looking me up and down approvingly.I was wearing a pair of black trousers and a light-toned, well-fitting top over a white shirt with a dark green scarf around my neck. I actually want to wear that Denny and George scarf so much I've even picked it up from the dresser.But I quickly let go, and I don't know why. "Very trendy," Suzie said. "Where are you going to eat?" "Lorenzo's restaurant?" "San Lorenzo?" Her eyes widened in surprise. "No, I don't think so. It's just...Lorenzo's. I've never been there before." "Well, remember to order the champagne," Suzie said, "tell them you turned down a lot of other job offers, and if they want you back, they'll pay you a lot. Pull down." "Okay," I said, unscrewing the mascara bottle. "If their offer is lucrative enough, take it," Suzie said emphatically. "If you want high-quality work, you have to pay high-quality work. You have to accept them at your price and on your terms." live." "Susie..." I stopped my makeup work, the eyelash curler was still held above the eyelashes, "Where did you learn such a set of words?" "What kind of talk?" "What you said... What kind of oil and water, take their jobs and so on." "Oh, this! I learned it from the marketing meeting of Hadleys department store. At that meeting, a famous American sales expert gave a lecture. It was really wonderful! He said that as long as the salesman is good, the product will be good. Can sell well." "Really." I picked up the bag in my hand, checked that everything I needed to bring was put away, then raised my face, and said firmly, "That's it, I'm going." "Good luck!" said Suzie, "but you have to remember that business is not based on luck. It depends on hard work, determination, and more importantly, fighting spirit." "Okay," I said suspiciously, "I'll keep that in mind." Lorenzo restaurant is in the Soho district of Soho (Soho): The Soho district of London, England is known for its many nightclubs and foreign restaurants. --On a street in the translation note, but when I found this street, I found that the most obvious thing here is not the facade of the restaurant.The street was mostly office buildings, a few small newsstand-like shops, a coffee shop, a... etc.I stopped and looked at the sign above the coffee shop door. Lorenzo coffee shop and sandwich bar. So...is this the place where we agreed to meet? "Becky!" I startled, and turned to see Zelda walking down the street toward me, wearing jeans and a Puffer down jacket. "You really found this place!" "Yes," I said, trying not to show the unhappiness I had just felt. "Yes, I did not go to the wrong place." "You don't mind if we grab some sandwiches or something, do you?" she said, nudging me into the little shop. "Come here just because it's convenient for me." "Very good, I mean... the sandwiches are pretty good too." "Okay. I recommend you try the Italian chicken." She looked me up and down. "You look beautiful in that outfit. Where did you just come from?" I looked at her with a shy feeling in my heart.I couldn't tell if I was dressed like this to meet her. "Um...yes." I cleared my throat and said, "I'm going to...see a friend later." "Oh, okay, I won't take up a lot of your time. It's just that we have a little suggestion we want to talk to you about." She smiled at me. "We think it's better to ask you to meet and talk." The scale of this small shop is not what I originally imagined to have a big lunch.The clerk who made our sandwiches spread the Italian chicken flat in the bread, added salad dressing, and then cut each sandwich diagonally into four triangles, which seemed pretty good.Well, maybe it's not a fancy restaurant without crisp white tablecloths and champagne.Maybe the show didn't treat me in style, but that's probably better! It means they still see me as part of the show, huh? Just have a casual sandwich and talk about the next Quarterly work plan.Or maybe they want me to go back to the show to be a makeup consultant, or train me to be a producer! "We've all missed you, Becky," Zelda said, as we walked to a small wooden table with plates of sandwiches and drinks in our hands. "How are you doing? Are you looking forward to a job in New York?" "Hm... not quite settled yet," I said, taking a sip of mineral water, "the matter over there... we have to wait." I saw her looking at me approvingly, and immediately said, " But I'm seriously thinking about picking some offers. And you know -- there's a variety of shows, and there's a... direction to go..." "Wonderful! I'm so glad you had such a great opportunity. We're all so sad you're leaving the show. I want you to know that it wasn't my decision." She put her hand on the back of mine, and after a while Move over to get a sandwich. "Okay, now down to business." I felt a little nervous and my stomach twitched. "You remember our producer, Barry?" "Of course I remember!" I said, with a slight shock in my heart.They think I've forgotten the producer's name? "Well, he had a rather interesting idea," Zelda said, smiling at me, and I smiled at her, "He thought the 'Good Morning Coffee' audience would be very interested in hearing about you . . . The little troubles you've encountered." "Ugh," I said, feeling the smile freeze on my face. "Well, it's... it's not actually—" "He thought maybe you'd be a good fit for this discussion, or call in and talk about it." She took a sip of her drink. "What do you think?" I stared at her blankly, with a blank look on my face. "Are you telling me to return to the program group and still be a thematic consultant?" "Oh no! I mean, we can't have you answering the audience's financial questions anymore, can we?" She giggled. "No, I'm talking about one-off episodes like 'How Shopping Has Messed Up My Life' or something." She took a bite of her sandwich. "Better, make this show... how should I put it? Emotional. Maybe you can open up and talk about your parents and how negatively this has impacted their lives. . . Childhood issues ... relationship issues ... Of course, these are just preliminary thoughts." She looked up at me. "You know, if you could cry in the narration of the show..." "Let me...cry?" I repeated in amazement. "It doesn't have to be. Anyway," Zelda said earnestly, leaning forward, "we hope this show was a good experience for you too, Becky. We all want to help you. So, we want Claire Edwards to be on the show, to give you some advice..." "Claire Edwards?" "Yeah. You've worked with her, right? That's why we thought of her. You know, she's popular! She's great with the callers. So, we They all decided to call her 'Scary Claire' and let her whip with a whip!" She smiled at me, but I couldn't smile at her.My face alternated between shock and shame.I have never been so belittled and humiliated by others. "So, what do you think?" she said, sipping her drink again and again noisily. I put down the sandwich in my hand, too bad to swallow any more food. "I'm afraid my answer is no." "Oh! Of course you'll be paid!" she said. "I should have told you that from the beginning." "Even so, I'm still not interested." "Don't rush to answer. Think about it before you say it." Zelda smiled happily at me again, then raised her wrist and looked at her watch. "I'm afraid I'll have to go first. It's good to see you, Becky. I'm glad you've been doing well lately." After she left, I still sat for a while, drinking mineral water slowly.I was very calm on the surface, but my heart was full of ups and downs, and the anger was hard to calm down.They actually asked me to do this kind of program and make me cry.That's what they want.A false article in a tabloid - all of a sudden, I went from financial advice expert Becky Bloomwood to phony Becky Bloomwood with her own financial mess.Hi, I'm Becky Bloomwood, come to see me cry out my bewilderment, and grab your handkerchief. Well, let them go to hell with that damn handkerchief.They really believe it's...damn...stupid...damn... "Are you okay?" A man at the next table asked me, leaning over to me, and I suddenly realized that I had been cursing aloud just now. "It's all right," I said, "thank you." I put down my glass and walked out of Lorenzo's, my head thrown back, my face tensed. I walked slowly along the road ahead and turned the corner, not knowing where I was going.I was not familiar with the area, and had no particular place to go--so I walked, almost following my own footsteps, as if in a stupor, thinking that I would always run into the subway entrance. My eyes began to ache, and I told myself it was the cold air.With my hands in my pockets, my cheeks tucked into my collar, I quickened my pace, thinking nothing of it.My heart was at a loss, my worries and fears were like shadows, and my mood was getting worse and worse.I couldn't get my old job back, and I didn't even see the prospect of finding another job.What should I tell Suzy? What should I tell Mom? What should I do next in my life? "Hey! Watch out!" someone yelled behind me.I turned around and was surprised to see that I had stepped outside the sidewalk and onto the road, blocking the bike path. "Sorry," I said hoarsely, as the cyclist whizzed past me and turned back to make a V sign at me.Oh my gosh, this is kind of weird.I'll have to keep an eye on the walk.I mean, I have to figure out where I am right now.I walked slowly along the sidewalk of the street, looking up from time to time above the glass door of the office building, trying to find the name of the street.Just as I was about to ask a traffic warden, I saw the sign.king street. At that moment, I was still looking blankly at the street sign, wondering how the street name could faintly beat a snare drum in my head.Suddenly, I woke up.I remembered, 17 King Street, Alicia. The number 23 is embossed on the glass door next to me.That is to say... I just walked past No. 17 over there. At this time, I was completely fascinated by curiosity.God knows what secrets are hidden in 17 King Street? Why does Alicia say see you there next time? Is this some kind of cult or something? God, if she is a witch after hours, I will Nor will it be surprising. I was itchy all over, turned around and walked back slowly, and came to an ordinary-looking house with No. 17 on the double sliding doors.Apparently, it was a building with many small companies in it, and I read the names of the companies on a board in turn, but none of them I had heard of before. "Hi!" A man in denim came to the door with a cup of coffee and greeted me.He pressed a few buttons on the automatic lock button on the door and pushed the door open. "You didn't find the place you want to go, did you? Who are you looking for?" "I can't tell myself," I said hesitantly, "I think someone I know works here, but I can't remember what company it was." "What's that man's name?" "Call... Alicia," I said--but immediately regretted it.What if the man knew Alicia? What if she was in the building and he went to fetch her? But he frowned. "I've never heard of anyone named Alicia. But there's been some new faces coming and going in the building lately... What's her line of business?" "Public relations." I said after a pause. "Public relations? Most companies here are engaged in pattern design..." Suddenly, his eyes lit up. "Oh, maybe she's from that new company. B and B or something, BBB? It's like that. They haven't officially opened yet, so I haven't seen them well yet." He took a sip of his coffee, and I looked with him.My mind was spinning rapidly. "Is it a new PR firm? Is the headquarters in this building?" "As far as I know, it is. They rented a large area on the second floor." My mind was still spinning rapidly, and various ideas rose into the air like flames.