Chapter 14 Chapter Thirteen

In June 2001, I flew home immediately after my leave, from Frankfurt to New York, and then to Lowry.It was Friday night when I flew in, and Savannah promised to pick me up at the airport, and then we would go to Le Noir to visit her parents.This was a surprise to me the day before departure.I have to say that I have no problem with meeting my parents at all, and I believe that Savannah's parents must be very good people, but if I can decide, I would rather spend a few days with Savannah before going.If there are her parents around, it's hard to really have time to spend together.Although we don't have a physical relationship yet, as far as I know about Savannah, we probably won't have one. Of course, I still hope that one day.I mean, what would her parents think if we hung out in the middle of the night, even if it was just lying on the grass and looking at the stars?Although Savannah is already an adult, parents are always somewhat worried when they think of children.I'm pretty sure Savannah's parents will have something to say, if you know what I mean, Savannah will always be their baby girl.

But Savannah's explanation does make sense.I have two weeks off, and if I plan to go home to see my dad on the second weekend, I have to meet her parents on the first weekend.Besides, Savannah was so excited about taking me home that she couldn't seem to say anything except to tell her that I was looking forward to it as well.Still, I wondered if I could hold her hand, and wondered if I could persuade her to detour back to Lenoir and go somewhere else first. As soon as the plane landed, I was full of anticipation and my heart beat faster.But I don't know how to react.See that Savannah is going to run?Or do you want to walk slowly?Before I thought too much, I was already on the gangway to the hall.I didn't see Savannah at first, because there were too many people picking up the plane.I looked around again and saw Savannah on the left, and my worries disappeared because Savannah rushed towards me as soon as she saw me.Before I had time to put down my luggage, Savannah rushed into my arms, and the next kiss seemed to have a magical power, immediately conveying the language and emotion we shared, and when Savannah pulled away, she said softly, "I miss you so much ", all of a sudden, I feel like I've been cut in half all year, and suddenly I'm whole again in this one moment.

I don't know how long I stood there before I walked towards the luggage carousel.I took Savannah's hand, knowing that not only did I love her more than I had ever done before, but that I loved her more than I had ever felt for anyone else in the world. We chatted happily along the way, but it did take a little detour.At the rest stop, Savannah pulled over and we kissed and fondled in the car, like teenagers out on a date, which was great, but for now.A few hours later we arrived at Savannah's house, a two-story Victorian building with Savannah's parents standing on the front porch to greet us.As soon as I got out of the car, Savannah's mom came over and gave me a hug, which surprised me, and then asked me if I wanted a beer.I declined her offer, knowing I should be the only one drinking, but grateful for the offer.Savannah's mother, Jill, was just like Savannah: friendly, open-minded, but a lot shrewder than first impressions.So did Savannah's dad, who actually enjoyed the visit.Savannah always held my hand, it seemed natural, and of course I obliged.By that night, the two of us had a long walk in the moonlight.When I finally got home, it felt like we had never been apart.

Needless to say, of course I was sleeping in the guest room, and I never thought of other possibilities.The guest room at Savannah's was very comfortable, much better than anywhere I've ever stayed.The furniture in the room is elegant and the mattress is very comfortable to sleep on.It was a bit muggy though, so I opened the windows hoping the mountain air would blow in to cool it down.The day felt like a long one, I was still jet-lagged myself, and fell asleep as soon as I got back to my room, only to wake up an hour later when I heard the door creak open.It was Savannah who came in with her head in. Wearing a loose cotton pajamas and socks, she gently closed the door and walked over on tiptoe.

Savannah put a finger to her lips, begging me to be quiet. "If my parents knew I was like this, they would definitely kill me." Savannah said softly.Then she climbed into bed next to me, adjusted the comforter and pulled it up to her chin, as cold as camping in the Arctic.I wrap my arms around Savannah, loving the way her body feels against mine. We just kept kissing and laughing all night, and it was a long time before Savannah sneaked back into the room.Then I fell asleep again, and probably fell asleep before she got back into the room.When he woke up again, the sun had already shone through the window.I smelled breakfast wafting into the room, put on a T-shirt and jeans, and went downstairs to the kitchen.Savannah was already sitting at the dinner table chatting with her mother while her father read the newspaper; as soon as I walked in, I felt the pressure of her parents.I took a seat at the table, and Savannah's mother promptly poured me a cup of coffee, followed by a plate of fried bacon and scrambled eggs.Savannah sat across from me, showered and changed, looking radiant and alive in the warm morning light.

"Did you sleep well?" Savannah asked with a mischievous smile in her eyes. I nodded and said, "Actually, I had a beautiful dream." "Oh? What kind of dream?" Savannah's mother asked curiously. Savannah kicked me under the table, shaking her head nonchalantly.I have to say I am amused by the way she squirms, but enough is enough.I pretended to think hard, and replied, "Well, I don't remember now." "That's disgusting," Savannah's mom commented, "Have you gotten used to breakfast?" "Great, thank you. "Let me look at Savannah, "Is there any plan for today?" Savannah leaned on the table with both hands. "We can go for a ride, are you okay?" I hesitated, and Savannah laughed. "It's all right, I promise." "Easy to say." Savannah was riding a Meadows, and she suggested that I ride a quarter horse called Pepper; Pepper was usually ridden by Savannah's dad.We spent most of the morning riding, walking the trails, running the fields, and I had a good time exploring Savannah's world.Savannah was also preparing a picnic for lunch, and we found a place to eat overlooking Le Noir.Savannah pointed out the school she attended and the home of a friend.I learned that Savannah not only loved it here, but never wanted to live anywhere else.

After a whole day, we spent seven or eight hours on horseback.I tried my best to keep up with Savannah, but it was almost impossible.Although I didn't fall to the dog to eat shit, but there were several critical moments, because Pepper was so playful and ran around, I had to use all my strength not to fall off the horse.I didn't realize how bad I was until dinner time.I gradually found that I was walking like a duck, and the muscles in my inner legs were so sore, as if I had been squashed by Tony for hours. Savannah and I went out to dinner on Saturday night at a small but nice Italian restaurant.After dinner Savannah suggested going to a dance, but by then I could barely move.I was limping all the way back to the car, and Savannah, with a worried look on her face, reached out to grab me.

She leaned over and grabbed my leg. "Does this hurt?" I was jumping and screaming in pain, but Savannah obviously found it funny. "Why are you doing this? It hurts!" Savannah smiled. "Just check." "Check what? As I said, my legs are sore!" "I just want to make sure, little girl, I can make a majestic big man scream like this." I rubbed my cock Leg said: "Yes, but don't test me again, okay?" "Okay, and, I'm sorry." "You don't sound sincere at all." "I mean it. It's just that you are so satisfied." Funny, don't you think? I mean, I've been riding as long as you and I've had nothing to do with it." "You've been riding a lot!" "Haven't been in at least a month." "It's better !" "Come on, just admit it. It's funny, isn't it?" "Not at all." I went to church with Savannah's family on Sunday.My legs were still terribly sore, and I didn't do anything for the rest of the day.She could only sit on the sofa and watch a baseball game with her dad.Savannah's mother brings a plate of sandwiches.The game ended in an overtime, and throughout the afternoon, whenever I changed positions, I couldn't help frowning.Savannah's dad was very chatty, talking about my life in the Army, the teams he coached, and what to expect from these kids.I like Savannah's dad very much.From where I sat, I could hear Savannah chatting with her mother in the kitchen.Savannah wandered into the living room from time to time, bringing in a basket of laundry to unpack, while Savannah's mother was busy washing the next load.Savannah, though an adult, was still a college student, and she took the dirty laundry home for her mother to wash.

We drove back to Church Hill that night.Savannah took me to her apartment.There wasn't much furniture in the house, but it looked new, with a gas fireplace and a small balcony overlooking the campus.Despite the warm weather, Savannah lit a fire in the fireplace.We sat in the living room and ate cheese and biscuits; besides breakfast cereal, that was the only food in Savannah's house.It was very romantic sitting there, although I knew that anything I did would be romantic if I was alone with Savannah.After a while, Savannah walked into the bedroom.After waiting for a while, she didn't come back, so I stood up and went to find her.Savannah sat on the bed in the bedroom as I paused on the porch.

Savannah clasped her hands and took a deep breath. "So..." "So?" Savannah took another breath. "I think it's late. I have class early tomorrow." I nodded. "It's time for you to sleep." "Yes." Savannah nodded, as if she hadn't thought about it, and turned her face to the window.Through the shutters, I see lights coming in from the parking lot.Savannah looks so cute when she's nervous. "So..." I held up both hands. "I'll sleep on the couch, okay?" "You don't mind?" "Not at all." I'd rather not, actually, but I understand the situation at hand.

Savannah stared at the window, not intending to stand up. "I'm just not ready," Savannah said softly. "I mean, I thought I was, and I really wanted to be, and I've been thinking about it for the last few weeks. You know? I not only Make up your mind, and feel that your decision is right. I love you, and you love me, and people who love each other do what love does. It was easy to convince yourself that way when you weren't here, but now..." Savannah Na couldn't go on. "It's okay." Finally she turned to me. "Were you scared the first time?" I wondered what was the best answer. "I guess it's different for men and women." "Well, I guess so!" Savannah pretended to tug on the blanket, "Are you mad at me?" "No." "But it's disappointing!" "Um... …" This is an admission, Savannah laughed. "I'm sorry." "No need to apologize!" Savannah thought about what I said. "Then why do I always feel like I should apologize?" "Well, I'm a lonely soldier, remember?" Savannah laughed again, but there was still tension in her voice. "The sofa is uncomfortable to sleep on," Savannah said distressedly. "It's too small for your legs to stretch out, and I don't have any extra blankets; I should have brought extra blankets when I got home, but I forgot." Yes." "That's a problem." "Yes!" Savannah said, and I continued to wait. "So I think you should sleep with me," Savannah said boldly. She is still at war between heaven and man, I continue to wait.Finally Savannah shrugged. "Would you like to try it? I mean, just sleep." "It's up to you." Savannah's shoulders visibly relaxed. "Okay, that's it, give me a minute to change." She stood up from the bed, walked across the room and opened a drawer, the pajamas in her hand were similar to those worn at home; I left the bedroom and went back to the living room to change into sports Shorts and T-shirts.Back in the bedroom, Savannah was already lying on the bed.I lay down on the other side, and Savannah fiddled with the sheets before turning off the light, then lay flat and stared at the ceiling.I lay on my side, facing Savannah. "Good night," Savannah murmured. "Good night." I know I don't need to sleep tonight, at least I won't be able to sleep for a while, I'm so excited.But I don't want to toss and turn, lest I disturb Savannah. "Hey." Savannah finally called me softly. "What?" She turned to face me. "Just wanted to tell you that this is the first time I've slept with a man, I mean all night. That's a big step forward, isn't it?" "Yeah, one step further." Savannah touched my arm lightly. "In the future, if anyone asks, you can say we slept together." "That's right." "But you're not going to show it around, are you? I mean, I have a reputation to look after, you understand?" I Swallow back a loud laugh. "I'll keep it a secret." The next few days are pretty easy: Savannah goes to class in the morning, maybe after lunch and then she'll be fine.Theoretically, I can go to bed later this way. When every soldier talks about vacations, he always goes to bed late and wakes up late.I usually get up earlier than Savannah, make a pot of coffee first, and then go to the corner store to buy newspapers.Sometimes we would buy some baked fruit or a croissant for breakfast, otherwise we would have home cereal.This kind of daily routine always makes me feel like I am previewing my future life, and this kind of cozy little happiness feels like a dream. At least that's how I convince myself.She was the Savannah I knew back in Savannah's hometown.So did the first night back at Church Hill.But then... I started noticing a difference.I guess I haven't quite come to terms with the fact that Savannah doesn't need me and lives to the fullest.The calendar posted on the fridge has events lined up almost every day: concerts, speeches, parties with various friends, and sometimes lunches with Tim.Savannah took four courses herself, and as a graduate student she taught another.Every Thursday afternoon, Savannah conducted a case study with her supervisor and told me that she was sure that the paper would be published.Savannah's life was just as she told me in her letter.Every day when she comes home, she goes into the kitchen to get something to eat and tells me what happened at school today.Savannah loves what she does and always has a palpable pride in her voice.She was always gesticulating when she spoke, and I listened to her and asked a question or two now and then to keep the conversation going. I have to admit that sounds normal, and I understand that if Savannah doesn't say anything, that's the problem.But the more I listen, the more I feel like I'm in trouble. It's like when I go left, Savannah goes right, and the result is getting worse and farther away. Even though we communicate so frequently, even if we love each other deeply, Nothing can change this situation.Since the last time we met, Savannah had graduated from college, attended graduation ceremonies, tossed a bachelor's cap with her classmates, worked as a teaching assistant at the school, and moved into the apartment she had furnished herself.Her life has entered a new stage. Although I have also, but the fact is just the opposite. My life has hardly changed. If I insist on something new, I have learned to assemble two kinds of weapons, so now I can assemble eight kinds in total; and Thirty pounds more weightlifting.Of course, I also did my best to let the Russians understand the consequences of attacking Germany. Don't get me wrong, Savannah still drives me crazy, and sometimes I feel her love, which is often the case.For me, this week has been a happy one.While Savannah was at school, I would go for a walk on campus or jog on the track near the playground, enjoying the rare free time I had.On my first day at Church Hill I was able to find a fitness center where I could continue to work out and exercise.The club even let me use the equipment for free because of my active military status.Every day when Savannah comes home, I have probably finished exercising and taking a shower, and then we can stay together.On Tuesday night, I went to the city for dinner with a group of Savannah's classmates.It was a very pleasant evening, much better than I expected. I thought I was messing with a group of intellectuals, the kind of college students who couldn't say anything about juvenile psychology.On Wednesday afternoon, Savannah took me to school to have a class with her and introduced me to the professor.Then I met another group, some of whom I had met the night before.That night we bought takeaway Chinese food and went home. Savannah, who was sitting at the dining table, was wearing a camisole of that kind, showing a beautifully tanned complexion. Sexiest beauty ever. By Thursday, I want to spend more time alone with Savannah.So I decided to give her a surprise.Savannah had class that day and research in the afternoon so I went to the mall and spent a fortune on a suit and new shoes and asked the shoe clerk to make a reservation at one of the best restaurants in town , thinking that in this way, she can see Savannah dressed up.That restaurant is a formal place with five stars, high-end and special dishes, and the waiters wear suits to serve the dishes.Because it was a surprise, of course I didn't tell Savannah beforehand.As soon as she walked in, I knew Savannah was planning to go out with the same group of friends again.She sounded so excited, and I didn't want to spoil the fun, so I just swallowed the plan. Not only was I disappointed that day, I was half-pissed off.For me, going out with Savannah's friends is fine, but every day?I'm not sure.We haven't seen each other for a year, and we don't have much time together, so why go out with others?What bothers me is that Savannah apparently doesn't think so.For the past few months, I have always imagined that after meeting, I would try to get tired of being together as much as possible, so as to make up for the time apart.But now I have to say that I was wrong.So... what does it mean?I'm not as important as I thought?I don't know, but it's true that I'm in a bad mood. In fact, I should just stay at home and tell Savannah to go by herself.In the end, I went anyway, and then put on a dirty face all night, refusing to chat, and staring back when anyone came over.I'm good at this. In the past few years, the best thing I've learned is to scare people.I was so unapproachable all night.Savannah knew that I was angry, but every time she asked me what was wrong, I always said no in a bad tone, saying I was fine. "Just tired." I said. Since Savannah wants to break the deadlock, is it okay to say the head office?Savannah looks at me from time to time, reaches out to hold my hand, and smiles at me now and then, thinking I will see it, and always piles up snacks and sodas in front of me.It didn't take long, though, for Savannah to have had enough of my attitude and give up trying to please me.It's not that I want to blame her, but I made it very clear.Seeing Savannah get angry later, it only gave me the thrill of revenge.On the way home, we barely spoke, and we slept alone.I was well the next morning and forgot about yesterday's unhappiness.Apparently Savannah hasn't calmed down yet.When I went out to get the newspaper, Savannah left for school without breakfast, and I drank my coffee alone. I know that I have gone too far, and I plan to make up for it when she comes home.You have to admit your doubts, tell her that you actually planned to have dinner yesterday, and apologize.I fully expected that Savannah would forgive and we could clean up and have a romantic dinner.I thought that was what we were going for, because we were going to Wilmington for the weekend with my dad the next day. Believe it or not, I really want to see Dad.I guess Dad was looking forward to seeing me too, I mean in his own way.Unlike Savannah, Dad didn't expect anything from me.It might not be fair to say this, but Savannah played a different role in my life at that time. I shook my head, Savannah, always Savannah.Everything about this vacation, every event in life, was always about Savannah in the end. At one o'clock in the afternoon, I took a shower after exercising, packed my luggage, and called the restaurant to make a new reservation.By that time, I already had a good idea of ​​Savannah's daily routine and knew that she should come in at any time.Then it was all right, I sat on the sofa and turned on the TV, game shows, serials, talk shows, talk shows.The waiting time was tough, I kept looking at the balcony to see if Savannah's car was back, and checked the luggage two or three times.I'm pretty sure Savannah was on her way home and ended up bored enough to clean the dishwasher.A few minutes later, I brush my teeth a second time and look outside again.Still no Savannah.I turned on the stereo and listened to the radio, listened to a few songs, and switched to six or seven stations before switching off.I went to the balcony, but there was still no one there.It was almost two o'clock, and I didn't know where Savannah was, but I felt that the anger from yesterday had revived, and I forced myself to calm down.I told myself that Savannah had a valid reason, and when I got angry again, I had to tell myself the same thing again.I opened the bag, pulled out the latest Stephen King novel, poured myself a glass of ice water, and slumped on the couch to read.Later, I found myself staring at the same sentence, and finally gave up. Another fifteen minutes passed, and then half an hour.When I heard about Savannah's car, I clenched my jaw and gritted my teeth.At 3:15, Savannah opened the door with a smile on her face, as if nothing happened. "Hey, John." Savannah went to the table and put down her backpack. "I'm sorry I was late, but a student came to me after class and said how much she liked my class, and said that because of me, she wanted to Majored in special education. Can you believe it? This is amazing. The student also said she wanted my advice on what classes to take, which teachers to choose, etc... You should see the way she listens to me ..." Savannah shook her head, "It looked really... reassuring. The student listened to every word I said...it felt like I really contributed something and helped others. I usually hear the professor Talking about these experiences, but I never thought I would be able to do this one day." I forced myself to smile, and Savannah thought I still wanted to hear, and continued. "Anyway, the student asked me if I had time to discuss it. Although I said I could only talk for a few minutes, I ended up talking more and more, and finally went to lunch together. That girl is very special. She is only seventeen years old and graduated from high school early. .Passed a few Advanced Placement exams, so she's a sophomore now, and she's planning to take a summer semester so she can get ahead. I appreciate her." Savannah wanted my eager response, but I just speechless. "Sounds like a great student," I finally said. After hearing my answer, Savannah really looked at me seriously, and I didn't try to hide my emotions. "What's wrong?" "No!" I opened my eyes and said nonsense. Savannah put her bag aside and sighed, as if annoyed by me. "You don't want to talk, do you? That's fine. But you know, it's going to make me tired." "What do you mean?" Savannah turned to me suddenly. "That's it! Your attitude!" Savannah said, "John, it's easy to see through your mood. You're angry, but you don't want to tell me why."When I finally spoke, I forced myself to keep my balance. "Well, I thought you should come back earlier." Savannah waved her hands. "That's all? I explained it! Whatever you think, I'm responsible now. If it's just because I'm late, well, I've already apologized, and I said it when I walked in." "I I know, but..." "But what? Apologies aren't enough?" "I didn't say that." "Why?" When I was speechless, Savannah clapped her hands to her waist. "Want to know what I'm thinking? Well, I guess you're still mad about last night. But let me guess... I guess you don't even want to talk about that, do you?" I close my eyes. "Last night, you..." "Me? What about me?" Savannah interrupted, shaking her head, "Oh no, I'm the one to blame for that? I didn't do anything. I didn't start Yeah. Yesterday was supposed to be fun, and it was supposed to be fun, but you just sat there and put on a face like you were going to give everyone a bullet." Savannah is exaggerating, but it could be true, Regardless, I continue to remain silent. She continued, "You know I have to make excuses for you today? You know what I think? I've been telling my friends how wonderful you are and how proud I am of your work for a year, and you're showing On the one hand, I've never even met you. You're just...have no manners at all." "Have you ever thought that maybe I'm the way I am because I don't want to go at all?" That made Savannah speechless. Speechless, but only for a moment.Savannah crossed her arms. "Maybe it's because of your attitude yesterday that I'm late today." I wasn't at all wary of such an answer, nor did I think about it, but that's not the point. "I'm sorry about yesterday..." "You should have apologized!" Savannah yelled, interrupting me again, "Those people are my friends!" "I know they are your friends." I Getting up from the couch and getting louder, "We've been with that group of people all week!" "What does that mean?" "Literally! Did you ever think I'd want to be alone with you " "You want to be alone with me?" Savannah asked, "Well, let me tell you, your performance is not like this. We were alone this morning, and we have been alone since we first entered the door. I told you that the school I want to smooth things over and let what happened yesterday pass by like this, and now there are only two of us, but you just want to fight." "I don't want to fight!" I tried not to yell, but there was no way.I turned my head, trying to control my anger, but when I spoke again, I could still hear the dissatisfaction in my voice. "I just want to be the same as before, like last summer." "What about last summer?" I hated this, didn't want to tell Savannah that I didn't feel important anymore.What I want is like begging for someone's love, but I can't say it out, I can only talk about him. "Last summer, we seemed to spend more time together." "No," Savannah retorted, "I had to build a house during the day, remember?" Yes, Savannah was right, at least in part.I tried again: "I don't know if it makes sense to say this, but I always feel that last year I had more time to chat." "Is that why you are angry? Because I am busy? Because I have a life to live? What do you want?" What about me? Cutting school all week? Calling in sick and not teaching? Not doing homework?" "No..." "So what do you want?" "I don't know." "So just embarrass me in front of my friends?" " I didn't." I defended myself. "No? Then why did Trisha pull me aside today and tell me that the two of us have nothing in common and that I should be better off than I am?" This hurts, I'm not sure about Shawn Na Ming didn't understand how it felt in my ears.Sometimes anger can blind people, I know that well. "I just wanted to say, last night I wanted to be alone with you, that's all." Nothing I said was going to help. Savannah just kept asking, "Then why don't you just say it? Just tell me, 'Can we do something else? I don't want to go out with other people.' That's fine. John, I can't read minds." I opened my mouth to say something, but couldn't utter a word.I just turned around and walked to the other side of the living room, looking out from the balcony. In fact, Savannah's words didn't make me very angry, but... very sad.I suddenly found myself losing her, and I didn't know if it was because I was making a fuss or because I knew it was going to happen. I don't want to talk about it anymore.I'm not good at words, I just hope that Savannah can come over and give me a hug, tell me that she can understand my troubles, and tell me that I don't have to worry about everything. But nothing happened, I was talking to the window, and I was just endlessly alone. "You're right, I should have been honest with you about how I felt. I'm sorry I didn't. I'm sorry about what happened last night. You came back late and I had a bad attitude. I have to apologize for that too. I just hope I can spend as much time with you as possible during this vacation." "You say that as if you are saying that I don't want to." I turned around and said, "To be honest, I'm not sure." As soon as I finished speaking, I walked towards the door , leaving Savannah's apartment. I didn't go back until evening. I didn't know where I was going or even why I was leaving, only that I had to be alone.Walking toward the campus in the hot sun, I swayed from tree to tree, not bothering to look back to see if Savannah was coming, because I knew full well she wouldn't. Not long after, I went to the student activity center to buy a bottle of ice water. Although there were not many people there and the air conditioner was very comfortable, I still didn't stay long.I wanted to sweat, to cleanse myself of anger, sadness, and lingering disappointment. I'm pretty sure of one thing: Savannah was ready to have a fight the minute she walked in the door.She answered too quickly, as if she had rehearsed it beforehand, and it didn't seem like she was reacting immediately, so she must have been angry all day.Savannah knew exactly how I would react. Although I knew that I deserved to be scolded for my behavior last night, but the whole afternoon, what troubled me was Savannah's reaction: she didn't seem to care about my feelings, and she didn't feel that I Wrong. The sun started to tilt, and the shadows lengthened, but I was not ready to go back.I just bought a few slices of pizza and a bottle of beer at a small shop near the school, which is the kind of small restaurant that sells to students.After dinner, he walked for a while before slowly returning to Savannah's apartment.It was close to nine o'clock at that time, and I was emotionally ups and downs all afternoon, as if I was on a roller coaster. Now I just feel tired.Walking down the street, I saw Savannah's car still parked, and the lights from the bedroom of the apartment; the rest of the room was dark. I don't know if the door is locked or not, but it opens with a turn of the handle.The door of the bedroom was ajar, and the light shone through the crack of the door into the corridor. I was in a conflict between heaven and man, and I didn't know whether to stay in the living room or enter the room.Although I didn't want to face Savannah's anger, I still took a deep breath, walked to the bedroom, and poked my head in.Savannah was reading a magazine, wearing a very large T-shirt, the kind that reached half her thigh.Hearing the sound, she raised her head and looked at me, and I smiled hesitantly. "Hey." I said. "Hey." I walked across the room and sat on the edge of the bed. "I'm sorry. I mean everything. You're right. I acted like a jerk last night, and I shouldn't have embarrassed you in front of your friends. I shouldn't have lost my temper when you came home late, and I promise never It won't be like this." Savannah patted the mattress, and to my surprise, said, "Come here." I climbed onto the bed, leaned against the head of the bed, and put my arms around Savannah.Savannah leans against me and I feel her body rise and fall with her breath. "I don't want to fight anymore." "Nor do I." I touched Savannah's arm and heard her sigh. "Where did you just go?" "Wandering around. Nothing. Walked around campus, had some pizza, thought a lot." "Is it about me?" "Yeah, and myself, and With both of us." Savannah nodded. "Me too. Are you still angry?" "Not angry. I was very angry just now, but I am tired now." "Me too." Savannah repeated, looking up at me, "You were not here just now, I I thought about our business and now I want to talk to you, okay?" "Of course." "I just realized that it's me who should apologize. I mean, I spend too much time with my friends. I think That's why I was so angry just now. Because I know exactly what you're trying to say, but don't want to hear it. I know you're right, at least in part. But your reasoning isn't." I looked at Savannah incomprehensibly , she continued. "Do you think the reason we spend so much time with our friends is because you're not as important to me as you used to be, do you?" Savannah didn't wait for my answer. "But that's not the case. It's actually the opposite. Just because you mean so much to me. Not because I want my friends to know you, or you to know my friends, but because of me." Savannah paused Down, as if unsure whether to proceed. "What the hell are you trying to tell me?" "Remember when I said that being with you made me stronger?" I nodded as Savannah's fingers slid across my chest. "I'm serious. Last summer meant a lot to me, more than you can imagine. When you went back to Germany, I was a total wreck, just ask Tim. I could barely help build the house. I know there's no sign of it in my letters, but it's just the opposite. I cry myself to sleep every night, sit in the big house every day, imagining you'll show up on the beach; every time I see someone with a crew cut, my heart beats faster ，虽然心里很清楚不可能是你。不过就是这样，我希望自己看到的是你，每次都是。我知道你的工作有多重要，也了解你常驻海外，可是没料到等你离开以后会这么困难。我难过得快死了，过了好久好久我才平复过来。这次你回来，我知道自己有多想见你、多么爱你，可是心里总是很怕，怕等你离开，我又会支离破碎。我心里老是这样天人交战，最后决定要努力不让自己再像去年一样，所以才把活动排得满满的，你能了解吗？或许这样我才不会心碎第二次。" 我的喉咙发紧，没说话。莎文娜继续往下说。 "今天我才知道这几天其实伤害到你了，这一切对你来说一点也不公平，而我只想补偿自己而已。再过一个礼拜你就要走了，留我一个人，努力让自己好好过下去。有些人做得到，可是我……" 莎文娜盯着自己的手，好一阵子都没说话。 我最后终于承认："我不知道该说什么。" 莎文娜不由自主地笑了。"你不需要回答。因为我觉得这个问题无解，我只知道自己一点都不想伤害你，只希望今年夏天我能坚强起来。" "我可以陪妳健身，如果妳想变强壮的话。"我半开玩笑地说。听到莎文娜笑出声，让我松了口气。 "对啊，没错，拉单杠十下我就会好好的，对吧？如果这么简单就好了。不过我会努力，可能很难，不过起码这次不用等上一整年。圣诞节的时候你就要退伍，撑过几个月我们就可以在一起了。" 我抱着她，感觉莎文娜的体温跟我的交融在一起。透过薄薄的衣服，我感觉到她的碰触，她的手指轻轻拉扯，把我的上衣往上拉，露出肚子。手指碰到我的感觉就像触电一样，我靠过去亲她，细细品味她摸我的感受。 莎文娜的亲吻里有种不一样的热情，有种激动、是那种活生生的感觉。她的舌头顶着我的，她的身体开始有所响应，我可以感觉到她的手往下移向我的裤头。我把手再往下滑，发现莎文娜的衣服底下什么都没穿。莎文娜已经解开我的裤子，虽然我很想要，还是强迫自己后退，不想在她还没准备好的时候更进一步。 我迟疑了一下，还来不及想，莎文娜就坐起来拉掉自己的衣服。我看着她，呼吸加快，她下一秒靠过来扯着我的上衣。我感觉到她的吻印上我的肚脐和双肋，接着是胸膛，她的手迫不及待拉扯我的牛仔裤。 我站起来用力扯掉上衣，任凭牛仔裤滑落。我吻着莎文娜的脖子和肩膀，她的呼吸温暖地吹进我耳朵，贴着我，整个人炽热得像火一样，我们情不自禁开始做爱。 过程就跟我想象的一模一样，结束以后我环抱着莎文娜，试着回味刚刚两人分享的震撼感受。在一片黑暗中，我喃喃告诉莎文娜自己有多爱她。 当晚我们做了两次。后来莎文娜睡着，我盯着她看。莎文娜熟睡的脸庞很安详，但不知道是什么原因，总觉得有种怪怪的感觉挥之不去。可能是我们做爱的时候急迫的感觉，就好像想用动作证明，不管未来发生什么事，经过这个晚上，我们都能撑过去。